Is This Something?
by Offcentercompass
Summary: Season 2 canon divergent. Sequel to This Means Nothing. What happens after Regina tries to poison her lover with the turnover and how they move on. Dark themes, sexual relations, tension and angst.
1. Facing the Consequences

Welcome to the story, I hope you enjoy.

I'm very into my dance music, well I was when I was younger, and this is one of the tunes that stuck with me. It is old now, but screams Regina to me when I hear it. Think it fits this story so please give it a go and let me know what you think: Plummet, Damaged.

I own nothing, not OUAT or the characters.

Kind of a sequel to This Means Nothing, this story is set in season 2 and is canon divergent – I may mention the relationship/events from the previous story but this one can probably stand alone too. It is in the same rating – Mature so please be aware, violence, sex, dark themes etc.

Thanks for taking the time to read and reviews are always welcome.

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Regina watched the purple cloud of magic sweep over storybrooke, heading straight towards her mansion, straight towards her. She stood up to welcome it with a grin on her face. The smile finally reached her eyes, she was happy about something for the first time since Henry had decided he preferred the company of his biological mother.

Unfortunately for Regina, magic did not belong in this world she had created, and she realised that as the cloud swept over her and she was only filled with a sliver of the power she had once had. She had power again, but it paled in significance to the magic she commanded as The Queen in the enchanted forest.

The thoughts Regina had of reclaiming her kingdom, of being powerful again and using magic to dominate the townsfolk of Storybrooke all faded away as the cloud rolled onwards, tainting the town with its purple hue.

The smile fell from her face and she creased her brow, this was not how it was meant to work. She felt the emptiness inside her, the hole where her magic should be. She should feel the magic buzzing and crackling through her veins and she realised she couldn't feel any strength to it. It was a mild hum rather than the swirling and engulfing presence she was used to. She was virtually powerless and she knew that soon people would be coming for her. They would want blood, for her defiance and dominance over them as The Queen. They would want pay back for the hurt and suffering she had caused, both in the old Kingdom and in this realm too.

All she had done by enacting the curse was strip herself of her power, leaving herself as miserable and lonely as she had been in the enchanted forest. She was as bitter and angry, but now she found herself with nothing to protect herself from the inhabitants of Storybrooke. And it had taken 28 years of mundane, 28 years of living in this world. She sighed because she could hardly remember the first 18 years. They were long days, slowly and uneventfully turning into years, every day dull and dragging her down until she had adopted Henry. And even then there were times she spent struggling, being unhappy and all of it to ultimately to end up worse off than when she had started.

If it was anyone else's life the irony would have made her smile, maybe even laughed a little at someone else's misfortune. As it was she felt dread pool in her stomach at how royally screwed she was, and the realisation of her situation finally settled in on her. No Henry, no real magic and therefore no power and an angry town that hated her as much, if not more, than she hated them.

She wondered if she had left things alone and never enacted the curse, would she be better off now? At least before she had a castle and strong walls to shield her, now there were no guards to protect her and the tables had been turned, the numbers no longer in her favour, if they ever had really been in the first place.

It was a bitter smile that curled at her lips, even though she didn't view herself as The Evil Queen, she thought that somewhere, someone else obviously did. The someone who controlled fate and destiny because there had to be a reason why she could never truly win. Was it really as simple as the dammed story book said and it was because villains never do?

Shaking her head she pursed her lips together and blew air between them, centring herself and trying to focus. What was important to her and what was she prepared to fight for? Because when everything was stripped away, fighting for something was really all Regina knew, it summed up her life.

Henry.

And that was really all there was. Anything else was incidental, but she would fight for him, and in order to keep Henry, she needed to make a stand now. Running away would only show her son that she didn't value him enough to fight for him. She wasn't going to set that example, like the example her father had set to her. She loved her father, but he had been a coward. He had hidden behind his powerful wife and allowed the child abuse that still haunted Regina's dreams to continue under his roof. Regina would stand tall and show Henry he was important to her, it was what parents did for their children. Well normal parents, she supposed that her childhood could never fall into the category of normal and she ruefully shook her head. Thinking of the past wasn't helping her focus and make a decision. Her father was loved, but gone, and his actions were his own and couldn't be changed. She needed to push them away and the conflicting emotions they brought to her, she needed a clear head so she thought about her son, the boy she had raised for nearly eleven years and pictured him as she clenched her hands by her side and set her face into an unreadable mask.

Let this game begin, if it was to be her last she would face it with dignity, if she fell then she would go down as The Queen, The Mayor. Neither title had made her happy but it was all she had, so she clung to them even as the fear settled over her, closing like a glove against skin. Fear she tried to ignore, it would pass, eventually it had to, her whole life had been spent with fear lurking in the background, surely there had to be some kind of respite.

* * *

When the mob that Dr. Whale had assembled came to Regina's door, she refused to back down or hide. She had a strong sense of when to fight and when flight would best serve her, she wouldn't say she was a coward, but sometimes living to fight another day was the most prudent decision.

Regina knew this time, flight wasn't an option, it would only prolong the inevitable, so even without magic she would stand her ground. She hoped with a little magic and the confidence she didn't really feel she could bluff her way out of this situation. On legs she pretended weren't shaking, she strode out onto her porch with a purple cloud of magic accompanying her, held at her side in a silent warning to the townspeople. She hoped seeing the magic crackling, and with some acerbic comments and not so subtle threats which she was so well known for she could turn the mood of the mob. She had been Mayor, she knew how to handle meeting and groups of people. She could be diplomatic and read the situation, she could still come out of this unscathed – that was what she kept telling herself while she steadfastly looked at Dr. Whale – she didn't want to see other faces, see the size of the crowd that were baying for her blood. She didn't need to see the number of people crowded on the lawn in front of her, it would just rock her confidence, so instead she pierced Whale with her best glare.

Even without counting their number, Regina could feel the anger and hostility pouring off of the mob and towards her in waves, a pack that wanted blood, and like all pack animals, they would attack if they saw weakness and she refused to give them that. If she could turn just one of those narrow minds away from their animosity into even just a small amount of fear she hoped she might be able to turn the whole mood of the pack.

So she stood her ground, back ramrod straight as she composed her face into her trade mark smirk, and tried to look down on the people that until recently she had governed. She was trying to emit confidence and praying that her voice wouldn't shake when she opened her mouth to speak.

Whale spoke first, breaking the tense silence.

"Madame Mayor."

The words were heavy with sarcasm, a smile on Whale come Frankenstein's face, he was obviously enjoying being in control of the people he had gathered to him. Regina was glad it was him, there could have been more competent people, people she would have been more afraid to face down and try to bluff with.

"My good Doctor." The brunette woman responded, a quirk to her eyebrow, "How can I help you this evening?"

She breathed a little easier, her nerve was holding, her voice was strong and steady and held the bite she was known for.

Their eyes bored into one another, neither looking away, that would be weakness and this situation was balanced on a knife edge, it became a competition whoever could hold their nerve the longest. Regina smiled, she had much more experience in this situation than the Doctor did, she could wait it out and stare him down. She was a Queen after all, and eventually they all bowed to her wishes, one way or another.

"Regina, why?" Whale lost some of his bravado as he took in the purple caressing Regina's fingers.

Regina sighed at him, letting him know he was testing her patience while pulling more magic to her hand, glad her body was responding to the raw emotions she was feeling and the magic crackled a little louder. It didn't stutter, and she grinned widely taking confidence from the fact that her limited magic was behaving and wasn't going to betray her nervousness.

"Of all people, Doctor, You should understand that if you don't like the way life has treated you, you look for a way to change it. When you feel life has taken things unjustly you do whatever is in your power to bring it back. Just look at your poor brother."

It was a low blow, Regina knew it, but she needed to score points, show she wasn't as vulnerable as she felt. Whale took a breath, he swallowed and struggled to hold her gaze. She saw the motion in his throat and the tick of the muscle as he clenched his jaw. She knew he wanted to look at the floor as his eyes became unfocused, but he held his head up as he answered,

"And I regret it every day, he became a monster."

Regina held his gaze as she nodded, telling him in a calm and cold voice, her mask never slipping, "And this is my monster."

The brunette had admitted that carefully, calculatedly and nodded to herself seeing an understanding dawning on his face. She suspected he remembered his own youthful naivety and how much hope and trust had shone on her face when they had meet when she was younger, how much she had wanted to believe that Daniel could be hers again and that Doctor Victor Frankenstein could help her with that.

Regina knew now that he had never meant to damage his family, his fear and hurt from the loss of his brother and a misguided desire to correct things had escalated until he lost control, he had been drunk on the power he thought he could command, and Regina had realised they weren't that different. Life, fate, whatever pulled people through their lives, had taken both their deepest desires, their youthful ignorance and twisted the outcome into some hideous parody. Neither of them had got what they wanted, and they had hurt many people in their respective journeys. She saw he understood the similarities between them and despite hating her and her actions, she knew he now understood a little better, he had the answer to his question.

Whale looked away from her, finally breaking eye contact, a sign he was defeated, his desire to maim her, the need to strike out and kill was ebbing from him.

Regina began to feel more confident knowing she had managed to talk him down without threatening him and feeling quite proud of herself. Her reasoning and calm demeanour which had rarely been displayed to people in the enchanted forest to but had served her well when she was Mayor had diffused the situation and she hadn't had to call on any magic, which she knew would drain her terribly due to the weakened nature of it in this realm.

Someone at the back of the crowd amassed on her front lawn raised their voice and shouted with venom,

"Enough of this, talk means nothing, neither do her reasons. She needs to pay."

 _Peasants_ , Regina thought. It was always so black and white with them. She was Evil and deserved to suffer. That was their view and nothing would shift it. Fear was the only language that they responded to, and she would scare this crowd into domination, into leaving her alone, for tonight at least.

Whale shifted away, seeming a little lost. It was possibly in his own memories or possibly remembering his oath as a doctor, to protect life, any life, even Regina's. The brunette wondered if he realised how close he had been to breaking that oath, to getting more blood on his hands and making another life changing mistake. He would always have blood on his hands but no matter what he had done in his past but his disposition wasn't as a cold blooded murderer. At least in Whale's case the blood was accidental but no less haunting.

Regina nodded her head at his retreating form, knowing between them things were settled. She moved her eyes from Whale to scan over the crowd, to address them. As she opened her mouth a stone was thrown at her. It was thrown hard, was the size of a clenched fist and the aim was true, so is struck her with some force, hitting the side of her forehead and drawing blood. She closed her mouth and her eyes for a moment to deal with the sudden pain and the shock that came with it. She would not cry out, she breathed slowly out through her nose, but the effort of controlling the pain caused her to lose focus on her magic. In that second she knew it had been a mistake to try and face the crowd, flight might have been the better option after all. Her purple cloud stuttered and she felt the mood change in the crowd, like electricity they were suddenly alive and on fire, any trace of fear wiped away. They were burning with a destructive desire, and it was aimed solely at her.

The words "Pride comes before a fall" echoed round her head as Regina realised she couldn't run from them and that her victory over Whale was a small battle and that she was going to lose the war as someone swept her legs out from underneath her and she felt the air knocked out of her lungs as she hit the cold marble of her porch and lay on her back.

Someone else leaned over her and sneered before kicking her in the side, she bit down on her lips from the pain, unable to breathe and get air into her lungs as any movement caused arrows of pain to shot up her side and stars to dance in front of her closed eyelids. She didn't see who then punched her in the face, but her head shot to the side from the impact and she felt something wet running down her chin and knew it was blood running from a split lip.

She felt heavy and her focus was scattered, she couldn't recapture her magic and knew the situation was pointless. She couldn't get herself up from the floor, so she just lay there with her eyes closed as blows came in from either side. She was sure she was going to be bruised and bloody, someone stood on her hand and she felt and heard a crack. She was surprised because the level of pain was muted through her foggy brain, but then all of her hurt so much and it was worse because her body was fighting to remain conscious. She had learned a high pain threshold because of her Mother so she knew her body would endure several more minutes of this punishment.

At one point she was certain she could hear Leroy's drunken slur, but by then she was thankful that she was beginning to slip away into unconsciousness even as someone grabbed her by her shirt front ripping the material and then proceeded to throw her back down on the cold ground, so the back of her head connected squarely and with a smack against her porch floor.

She hardly felt the new pain exploding at the back of her head as a blackness was settling over her mind. She felt a thin veil of magic caress her, it wrapped itself tight around her and flashed purple across her closed eyelids. Just before everything went dark and she wondered if this was finally it, was this the end of her life? Broken and bleeding on the marble of her porch she fully slipped away, seeing Henry's face flicker across her eyelids. She lost her hold on the image of him as all of her senses shut down, slipping into an unconscious state, she was just glad to be slipping away from the pain as well.


	2. The Problem with Punishment

Another chapter, hope you all enjoy!

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Emma was on duty that night as Sheriff and knew the mob she had seen gathering on Main Street had plans to attack Regina. Emma had looked down at her hands while sitting in her cruiser and felt conflicted as she just sat still, observing the crowd grow. She did nothing except watch as the people gathered and shouted angrily to each other, beginning to move off towards Mifflin Street.

Emma knew Regina deserved taking down a peg or two, but she knew from past experience that fights had a tendency to get out of control very quickly. It was her duty as a law enforcement officer to maintain order and ensure that the mob didn't get out of control, despite her own personal feelings on the subject, Emma knew what was expected of her in her job.

Whatever their own personal issues and history, which was complicated to say the least, Emma smiled at recalling hot sex, and then immediately sobered as she remembered more recently attempted poisoning by apple turnover, she had to be The Sheriff tonight.

She thought back to the angry fights, screaming matches leaving them both feeling more alive, chests heaving and breathing hard, blood pumping through their veins. There was hatred, unreasonable demands, attempted manipulation, slur campaigns. When Emma thought about it though, those actions were all Regina, she had merely been the recipient of the anger and derogatory comments, the underhand actions had all been aimed at her. She had just taken them with a smile on her face, knowing Henry preferred her company, and in the dark of night, so did the Mayor.

Emma sighed, this was fucked up. However much she might not like the woman, they shared Henry. Regina was important to him. Emma hated the brunette as she had stood in her way at every turn, but deep down the blonde knew she had a duty to uphold the law, and vigilante justice wasn't the way things were done in this world. Even as she settled into the seat of the car and went to pull away she knew she was lying to herself. Hate wasn't the right word for her feelings about Regina, however there was no word that fit what she shared with the brunette, so hate would do for now.

Shaking her head she put the car in drive and tried to order her thoughts. There was never a justification for an eye for an eye. Or a tooth for a tooth. If that was true the world would be full of blind and toothless people. Some people might even deserve that, but it wasn't for her or the townsfolk to decide. They were not judge and jury in this case.

The blonde knew people were angry about the curse, they felt they had 28 years taken from them. But as an outsider and looking at the situation with some sliver of impartiality, Emma had to admit that due to the nature of the curse, none of them had aged, so they hadn't actually lost anything. They had just gained 28 years of memories, living in boredom and monotony over and over. Was it really worth attacking the woman over?

True they were stuck in this world, and Emma had nothing to compare it to, but this world wasn't so bad was it? There had to be advantages, plumbing and heating, fast food. Regina hadn't killed them, she had messed up a few families, but with the curse broken things could slowly return to normal. Families could find one another, so what was their justification to want to harm the woman (even kill her mind whispered, but Emma pushed that away, she had been here and lived among these people, no-one would do that, would they?)

Regina had been Mayor for 28 years and looked after the town quite well, which included the people living in it. Emma guessed as an outsider looking in she didn't truly get it and part of the towns people's aggression wasn't at The Mayor, but at The Queen from the Enchanted Forest. Emma had never meet The Evil Queen, she just knew Regina, true she was a bitch and enjoyed power plays, the intensity of the games she played were sick and twisted but she didn't think anyone deserved to be so outnumbered and hated and attacked when they had so little left in their life anyway. Regina had lost her job, her son, her curse and all control that had brought with it.

A small part of Emma was sympathetic to the woman, the part that had lain contentedly in the brunette's bed she supposed. Thoughts like that were dangerous, so the blonde quickly focused her thoughts somewhere else. Anywhere else. Pushing the memories away wasn't that easy as her mind kept travelling to images of the brunette woman naked under her, her head thrown back in pleasure as Emma pushed at her body in all the right ways. No, Emma wasn't going to think about that, the woman had been planning on poisoning her for god's sake, what was the matter with her? She knew Regina had got under her skin, but seriously she had to find some control and deal with the situation at hand.

Still there were conflicting emotions at war with Emma and she had been close enough in the hospital to see how broken the older woman was, how torn and scared she was despite the fixed mask she reflected to the town in general. Regina had lead a life of loss, it was clear in her eyes when Emma had broken down the barriers late at night or when true fear had gripped the woman. Emma had only seen it a handful of times, the day at the Mine and in the hospital, both times when she thought she might lose Henry, but it was enough of an insight in Emma's view. She didn't feel any driving need to continue to heap misery on the brunette, there was misery ingrained in her already, buried deep in her brown eyes.

Emma knew Regina was as unhappy as everyone else in this town, perhaps more so as this was meant to have been her chance and happy ending, she had cursed everyone for her own gain, but Emma knew she had made Regina happy in bed and that the feeling was fleeting. The rest of her life was stiff and stilted and angry and aggressive. Emma didn't know too much about being happy, but she was pretty sure happy people didn't live like that.

If Emma was being honest, no-one had seen Regina since she had fled the hospital, she was in hiding, why did the town insist on going and waking a sleeping bear? If someone got hurt, and knowing there was now magic in the air, Emma couldn't be certain who would end up on the losing side, this whole situation could have been avoided by leaving the Ex-Mayor alone. Then Emma wouldn't be sitting wondering about choices, both past ones and the ones she knew she was going to be forced to make tonight.

She realised she had been sitting thinking for far too long as the mob weren't even in view anymore and she quickly pressed her foot to the gas pedal and left rubber behind on the road surface as the tyres span for a moment at the aggressive way Emma was driving. The car jerked before settling down and pulling away from the curb, the movement was far from smooth and mirrored Emma's troubled demeanour, tension clear on her face as she nervously bit her lip and wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans before holding on tightly to the wheel. She took a deep breath to steady herself, she needed to be The Sheriff, she could do this.

So as she came driving down Mifflin Street toward Regina's mansion she took notice of the mob. The door to the mansion was open, the mob were swarming over a fallen figure and Emma's stomach dropped when she saw that it was Regina being hammered into the marble of her own porch by as a many pairs of hands that could find purchase on her.

Emma felt her mouth go dry and her stomach sunk even lower, trying to flip itself in nervous spasms. She felt suddenly nauseated as she put her foot down and drove towards the people. The cruiser mounted the pavement and then drove onto the grass of Regina's lawn. Emma knew she was leaving tire tracks on the immaculate lawn and in other circumstances she would have smiled about the shit fit Regina would throw in the morning, but honestly, from what Emma had seen, she was worried there might not be any more mornings for Regina. She had been thrown around like she was a rag doll, Emma guessed she was unconscious from the way her head had lolled limply and somewhat lifelessly from side to side. Despite that fact Emma noticed that people were still trying to kick at her.

Some of the people at the edges of the mob moved away as the car neared them. They were fearful she would run them down as the car slide sideways on the damp grass and skidded to a halt.

Immediately the blonde jumped out running on pure adrenaline and started to elbow her way through people, most of them glaring at her but not fighting her. As Emma got to Regina's feet she had to literally rip Leroy off of Regina, he was standing on her thigh like she was a log or something, rather than a human being, and leaning into her face trying to intimidate her.

Nothing was going to intimidate Regina at this point, Emma noticed the bloody face, the bruises and swelling already starting on her face, the ripped shirt and her closed eyes. She was out of it, beaten so badly that Emma wondered if she could have even opened one of her swollen eyes even if she had been conscious. She knew the rest of Regina's body would be the same, battered and bleeding, and part of her wanted to cry. Regina's body was beautiful, Emma had seen her looking glorious, naked and toned, she had run her mouth over the soft skin often, and now her body was bent and broken, the skin ripped and bludgeoned.

Emma looked up at the sky and wanted to pray, only she didn't believe in such things. Instead she could only hope that nothing was broken, because with the feeling in this town, Emma could hardly take Regina to a hospital for treatment, they would just laugh and think this punishment was justified. It made Emma's blood boil, these people were attacking Regina because they wanted revenge, they wanted her to suffer. Did they not see the hypocrisy in it, that Regina had acted selfishly, had been hell bent on revenge and they had labelled her "Evil" for that. Now they were just as bad. To cap it all, this behaviour was from people who were meant to be fairy tale characters, good, honest people used to guide children's behaviour, to encourage them to do the right thing.

Emma felt sick with revulsion at the spectacle she had to interrupt, and the words Good and Honest didn't really fit into this display before her. She didn't see any positive behaviour, nothing that would inspire children in a moral storybook tale. This was hatred and destruction and all the negativity in the human nature and spirit, and the only positive Emma found was she was glad she didn't see people like Ruby, Granny or Katherine here, people she liked and respected. At least they had had the sense and decency to keep out of the witch hunt that this had become.

Emma shoved Leroy away, smelling the alcohol on his breath, at least he had some kind of excuse for his lack of control and poor judgement. She wasn't sure what the other people would say, but she knew she couldn't arrest them all, there weren't enough cells in the station to hold them all.

Taking a deep breath Emma knew she just needed to diffuse the situation, to make them see this wasn't right. Surely some of them must have calmed down now and come to their senses about how unfair it was to gang up on an unarmed woman and beat her black and blue.

Her anger simmered, even with how Regina had treated her she didn't find any satisfaction seeing the woman below her split open like that. It just made her angry that these people had crossed the line and exacted their view of vengeance. She pushed the anger away and turned round and faced the crowd.

"Enough. Back off."

Her voice was strong, it carried and her face was stern, her body was held straight, with her head high and eyes with a steely glint, knowing that people would read her body language as much as the words coming from her mouth. She continued,

"I don't come from your world, I don't know whether this behaviour is acceptable there. But you are NOT in your world anymore. And in this world, this level of abuse is a criminal offence. I will not stand by and let you carry out what is at best vigilant behaviour, and at worst a blatant attack on someone who was unarmed and vulnerable."

Leroy mumbled something about Regina having magic and that she wasn't unarmed, she had threatened them.

Emma swung on him, her teeth bared as her composure cracked and she hissed, "She was trying to defend herself, even Regina isn't arrogant or stupid enough to think she could win against all of you, wouldn't you bring whatever you could if faced with this many people coming to attack you?"

Leroy had the sense to shut up and slink backwards away from the blonde woman.

Emma looked up and realised that a lot of the people who had been lingering at the back of the pack had begun to slip away. That was good, it meant the blood lust was fading, without it being so strong and clouding people's judgement she could try and reason with them. As the crowd thinned she felt relief flood through her, she hadn't realised how much she had been running on adrenaline and now she had fewer people to deal with she turned her head, pinning as many of them with her hard gaze.

"You are trespassing on Regina's property, and have just committed a criminal offense. This is assault, I should be looking at arresting you all."

Emma tried to make it sound like this was a sincere threat, being that she was outnumbered and her badge wouldn't stand against them if they should turn on her as well. She hoped that they respected her position as Sheriff and that their misguided loyalty to her as "Saviour" would carry a weight to her words, giving them more impact to the townspeople.

No-one interrupted her, a few hung their heads. Emma kept her voice steady, despite the churning in her stomach, nerves finally hitting her she guessed.

"I want you to all go home. This is finished with. If you walk away now I won't follow up and press charges, I won't pursue any of you, but this twisted idea about revenge stops today. No-one has the right to do this damage to another human being, and I will lock up the next person who tries it."

Emma let out a breath as she watched people look at one another and begin to slink away into the night, off down the street to their houses with shoulders slumped and a defeated air about them.

Emma waited for the last person to leave the lawn before she quickly turned on her heel and dropped to Regina's side. She could see that Regina's chest was lightly moving with ragged breaths, at least the brunette wasn't dead - yet. Emma would never forgive herself if she hadn't got to the mansion quickly enough and if she had to deal with a homicide case. And that could have been a real possibility, she knew now the levels of anger and violence in this town, it scared her but she pushed all of it away, she had to help the brunette.

She also had to question why Regina had come out of her house to face the mob, because as she had just told Leroy, Regina was many things, but she wasn't stupid and trying to face this many people, well Emma wasn't surprised at the outcome being a broken and battered Regina.

What she was surprised about was that Regina had let herself be subjected to it when she could have run. A voice in the back of her mind whispered a reason – she thinks she deserves it, and maybe she didn't think she had anything left to live for. Emma knew Regina hadn't been happy for a long time, and the unhappiness only intensified as Emma stayed in Storybrooke and Regina felt her own control slipping. The brunette had been acting more and more erratically, getting more angry and letting her carefully constructed mask slip more and more often to show the hurt inside of her. Emma also thought that she had just occasionally seen glimpses of something akin to abject despair shining through her expressive eyes before Regina was able to compose herself and slam the door shut to her soul and become unreadable again.

Emma knew the key was Henry, the answer to everything that was Regina was always Henry. Had his rejection done this to her?

Now with Henry paying the price for Regina's failed poisoning of the blonde and the brunette thinking he was gone from her life forever, maybe she had just given up and hoped to bring an end to it all in the easiest and quickest way possible.

Emma knew Regina far too well and thought back to the satisfaction she had brought the woman, a woman too stubborn to moan or gasp, to utter Emma's name when they were intimate. Yes Emma knew the brunette was stubborn enough to stand her ground, even if the odds were against her and she was scared and wanted to run. Emma had to admire the woman's determination and drive, even if she didn't like her.

But guilt nipped away at the edge of Emma's thoughts, _Did I drive Regina to this?_ I kept pushing at her, kept taking things she valued, Graham died, her tree was scarred and broken, and Henry wanted nothing to do with her. It had been a destructive period for both of them, even the sex wasn't healthy and Regina had continued to walk tall, but Emma knew that the face she had turned to the outside world wasn't a true reflection. She knew that Regina loved Henry and losing him must have killed her, even if the actions had been her own doing.

Emma's words from early were definitely apt, this was fucked up.

She knelt next to the woman she couldn't figure out, and worse, couldn't figure out her own emotions about and gently scooped her up. The blonde would try and fix what she could, starting with the broken body she held in her arms, then she'd have to talk to Henry. The only way was forward, not that she knew what would happen, but regardless she wanted to ease the guilt that ate at her.

With a sigh Emma slowly walked to her car, she needed to think, she was tired and her mind and body had been on a rollercoaster over the last few days. She had fought a dragon, she was in a town with magic, she had found her parents, she had been sleeping with a Queen who had tried to poison her, and now she held said woman in her arms and was scarred she might die. Time and clarity of thought were not going to happen tonight, she had to act quickly and hope her instincts were true. She could think after some sleep, after things had calmed down and she had the luxury of time for herself.

She fleeting thought about how on her 28th birthday she had wished not to be alone. She wasn't sure this situation was better, before she shoved that rather unhelpful thought away. This was how it was, and of course it was better, she had found her child, her parents, of course this was better. It had to be, didn't it?


	3. Care Giving

Hi to everyone.

Hope you are enjoying the story.

Lots of angst and analysis going on but I promise it will be a SwanQueen story in the end.

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Emma let her head rest against the cool wood of her desk. She had basically lived at her place of work since the attack on Regina. She was tired, sleeping fitfully in the chair with one ear and one eye open for trouble either from outside trying to get at the ex-Queen or from the seriously sick, broken and battered woman herself.

Emma had to admit now, it hadn't been her best plan, but she hadn't known what else to do. Regina was hurt. It was serious and Emma knew she needed medical attention. She also knew no-one in the town would treat her, well, at least no-one who was under Dr Whale's jurisdiction. So Emma had taken the only option she felt was left and decided to care for Regina herself.

She knew Henry would never forgive her if he found out Emma had left Regina alone to die, or be further attacked by the town's people. Hell, Emma wouldn't forgive herself. The oath "To Serve and Protect" wasn't one you could pick and choose over.

She had such mixed feelings for the brunette, she should hate her, she was the reason she grew up in care without parents. She had lied to Henry and been nothing but a cause of pain and irritation, doing everything in her power to disrupt Emma's life. Regina had also baked the turnover, which bothered Emma more than she cared to admit. Emma had been in the process of leaving Storybrooke, why had Regina continued with the plan to poison her? Emma knew the outward exterior Regina showed to everyone was of condemnation, superiority or indifference, the sarcasm and snark, the bitter smirk that sat upon her face almost constantly was all everyone else ever saw. But Emma had got behind the mask, occasionally seeing more, seeing some vulnerability. Was that why Regina had reacted so strongly, had Emma got too close? Or was the sex truly just that, and the hatred was real? Emma couldn't reconcile the things she had seen with the actions, because she was certain the sex hadn't been a lie, the closeness and understanding was real between them when they were between the sheets. Even Regina with her masks and plans and manipulations wasn't that good at faking it. Emma was sure of that, at least she thought she was. The more she went over it in her mind the hazier and more unsure she became.

Emma didn't hate the brunette, it was just all so twisted. It might all be easier if she did but deep down she felt she owed Regina for bringing up her son, for taking the best care of him, turning him into a fine young man. She also remembered the soft hands and touches, being held when she was tired, drunk and sobbing so yes, she felt she ought to look out for the woman, even if they had been at each other's throats for the last few months.

Emma did smile quietly to herself because when Regina woke up she was going to throw a major fit. The blonde had no other choice but to strip the woman and access her injuries. She was bathing the woman and sharing intimacies with her that would make a conscious Regina absolutely shake with embarrassment and then rage about overstepped boundaries and then be quick to use the anger in an attack. At least she had already seen the woman naked, otherwise Emma might have had difficulty getting up the courage to undress her, but as it was she knew almost every inch of the woman and it was much easier to care for her because if it.

So the blonde had taken Regina to the only place she knew that had a bed and some privacy. True Regina now resided in a police holding cell, but it meant Emma could watch her and still be the Sheriff. So Regina was now passed out on one of the cots in the cell, Emma had taken the mattress from the other cell and doubled them up, so Regina wasn't basically sleeping on the springs. It was still lumpy and Emma knew the phase "fit for a queen" was so far from this scenario she could laugh if she wasn't so tired and stressed out by everything that had been going on. Emma knew the bed was nowhere near Regina's standards, having spent too many nights in the mansion, but the brunette would have to accept this was the best Emma could do.

Emma could have taken Regina back into her Mansion, but she didn't think that was safe, everyone knew that was Regina's house, and when Emma had taken a few trips out of the station she had seen the rotten fruit and vegetables, broken eggs that had been thrown at the house. She knew that the town had taken out the brunt of their rage on Regina's house, forced the door and smashing things, the windows were broken letting in the elements, dried and brown fallen leaves spun in the entrance hall whenever the wind blew. The town had shown no mercy ripping bedding and furniture apart, pulling fittings from the walls and ceilings. The Sheriff was only one person, and she didn't have the fight to keep both Regina and her possessions safe. One out of two would have to do, although Emma had to admit, keeping Regina safe wasn't going too well either. She had expected some signs of life by now, but Regina was still unconscious. She did murmur and make noises but she hadn't opened her eyes or made any attempt to join the land of the living yet and it had been 3 days. Emma was getting more and more concerned.

She had manage to rope in her Mother and Ruby to help, they bought Emma food and supplies and watched Regina if Emma had to go out. Ruby often did a burger run for Emma and a soup run so Emma could feed Regina. Snow had brought blankets, extra clothes and a first aid kit and Emma had striped Regina down to her bra and panties to assess how badly she was hurt.

Emma had thrown away the clothes from the day of the attack, the blouse was covered in dried blood, the silk was ripped and the skirt had a footprint on it. It was all creased, all of it was muddy. It just looked wrong and out of place on the usually impeccably dressed woman. The blonde knew it was all expensive and there would be hell to pay as it was probably part of a matching set, a suit Regina would blame her for ruining but Emma didn't care. What she cared about where the big purple bruises that greeted her when she undressed Regina. She needed to tend to them, to check for broken bones under the discolouration of the skin.

There was blood caked over the woman's head and neck and face. Emma had managed to give Regina some kind of bed bath and get some of the dirt and blood off of her, but it was no substitute for a proper wash in a bath. Emma knew Regina's body probably needed the soothing water of a bath, but she didn't have that choice here and she wasn't moving the woman again.

Emma had looked at the skin and memories of ghosting her hands over it and seeing the brunette's skin raise in goose bumps from the sensation filled her mind. She refused to get aroused over the woman below her, that would be wrong. Regina needed care and attention, to be kept warm and handled delicately while her body healed. The only saving grace was she was unconscious and didn't notice the longing look cross Emma's face and the difficulty she had in pulling her eyes away from the brunette's scantily clad chest.

Regina's hand had swollen up and Emma was certain some of the fingers were broken, at the very least they were dislocated, but she had no idea what to do about it. Thankfully Mary Margaret had basic first aid training from being a school teacher and some ideas of wound and injury tending from her bandit days as Snow White, and she had dealt with Regina's hand. Emma couldn't look as she had pushed at the fingers and made the unconscious brunette groan, before splinting them together and smiling softly at her daughter and leaving the cell. There must have been some satisfaction as it was the same cell she herself had been locked up in, but she didn't gloat or say anything as she walked freely away and left the ex-mayor behind. She didn't mention anything about the incredibly odd situation they had all found themselves in, mother and daughter the same age, reunited after so long, caring for the woman who had engineered it all. As Mary Margaret she had been Emma's friend and Emma had asked this of her. Being her Mother only added to her desire to please the blonde, and for an unfathomable reason Emma wanted this, so the short haired brunette just accepted it. When Emma stopped sleeping by Regina's bedside and finally came home she hoped she'd talk to her and explain. She trusted her daughter, and that was enough, she hoped the smile she sent and the open and honest look in her eyes conveyed that.

Emma recognised her mother's smile, "We'll talk soon, once I've slept and cleared my head."

The problem Emma had was that her head was a mess. Strange things were making her want to laugh out loud, she hoped it was just because she was tired and stressed, but she really didn't know anymore. Maybe she had lost her grip on reality, it had been a huge shock waking up in a town of fairy tale characters, and maybe it had pushed her over the edge? Maybe Regina wasn't really the Evil Queen, but this was all some weird dream or abstract fantasy to protect her shattered mind from something traumatic.

With a shudder and a chill creeping over her skin, she began to understand the bitter way Regina laughed. Life in this town was twisted and wrong, and for years Regina had been trapped in a mundane existence, pushing her grip on reality. Emma thought she now saw why Henry was everything to the older woman, he had saved her from the slow grip and pull of madness that this town had generated in her. Regina had been the only one who knew the truth and the truth was horrific and frightening. And it had been Regina's creation, meant to be her escape, her chance. Anyone, now the crazy truth had been revealed, could see that her plan had royally backfired.

And it was especially clear to Emma, the outsider, brought up in this world. Now she knew the truth too and she felt the whole world spin away from her, nothing to ground her. Emma could feel the bitter laughter battling to be released from her chest and she clenched her jaw and clamped down on it. It was over something so stupid too, something not very funny at all. She just had understood that Mary Margaret had used her curse memories to help and to save Regina. The curse that was meant to make her unhappy, to make her weak and meek had given her the skills to save the broken queen lying in the cell. Emma saw something funny in that, but she was pretty sure it wasn't really funny and that she really, really needed to sleep. Raising her hand she rubbed tiredly at her face and hugged her old roommate, using the tightening arms round her exhausted frame to ground herself.

As Mary Margaret left Emma had gone back to her ex-lover. She had done a patch up job, applying lotions to the bruises to aid the healing but felt at a loss of what else to do. She kept applying a cold compress to Regina's brow, to try and soothe her and ease the headache she knew she'd wake up to. Regina was obviously concussed as she had been sick several times, Emma was just lucky she had been there and she had placed Regina on her side in some semblance of the recovery position for just that eventuality. The last thing she needed was the woman choking to death on her own vomit. So Emma had become a glorified cleaner as well, clearing away the puddles of sick and bodily fluids, glad for the ease of the stone floor in the cell and the rubber mattress cover.

That had been the first day, Emma had settled in as night fell and must have fallen asleep in her office chair, she didn't mean to but she was so tired, her mind going over and over the new information. She was exhausted from trying to organise thoughts, actions, behaviours, analysing both her own and other people's.

Three times while Emma had been dozing she had been woken by Regina. The first time it had been dark outside, Emma woke up surrounded in blackness to the muffled noise of Regina biting back a scream. The room felt tense, like a storm promising violence was coming and a sleepy Emma had to pull herself awake quickly. What caused her to immediately stand and look at the other woman was the purple glow coming from the cell. Regina was still out cold, but her hand was out of the blanket and trying to raise some kind of defensive spell as it glowed purple. Emma knew the woman wasn't in control and could be dangerous, even weak as she was. She also needed all her strength to heal, and this would just be draining her body, so Emma moved quickly, knowing she had to calm her.

As Emma approached the bars she could she Regina's face. The muscles were clenched, her jaw tightly shut, the split lip she had suffered had burst where it had been pulled taut in a grimace and the blood was flowing freely down Regina's chin. Emma watched the brunette's body arch as she hissed in pain.

Emma was close enough to hear the ragged and hoarsely whispered,

"Mother, please, stop! _Please._ "

The tone and absolute pain the blonde heard in the words made her chest feel tight. Emma was no stranger to nightmares, and she knew how her own past haunted her, staring at the brunette laying on the makeshift bed in the cell she recognised hidden memories leaking to the surface. She filed away the information to ask her mother later, right now she walked with a confidence she didn't feel into the cell and gently closed her hands round Regina's hand, forcing it into a fist, the action extinguishing the magic as Emma spoke in the most soothing voice she could manage. She wiped dark, sweat matted hair off her brow and told the woman, "Its ok, just a nightmare, she's not really here."

The older woman quieted, and Emma sighed, relief washing through her that Regina's hand had dropped limply to the mattress and the magic seemed to have dispersed naturally and without incident.

* * *

The next time dawn was coming, a faint light filtering through the windows. Emma woke in a pool of drool but her head shot straight up at the sounds of the sobs she could hear. She felt like an intruder, watching Regina without her knowledge, seeing the pain and hurt the woman obviously carried with her, hidden deeply but still there and unresolved. Regina wasn't conscious of what her body was doing, and fascinated, unable to draw her eyes away despite her own misgivings about how wrong and inappropriate it was to spy on the woman in this state, Emma pulled her chair closer and sat next to the bars. She listening to the sobs and watched the tears track slowly down bruised cheeks.

"Daniel. Come back to me." A cracked a broken plea and the loss that the words held pierced into the blonde's soul. Emma didn't know how to process what she felt right then, she was tired, she had just been woken after a few fitful hours of broken sleep. She shook her head to clear everything away and leaned back into her chair stretching her muscles. She definitely needed to speak to her mother, she needed clarity and context to the things her ex-lover was saying. Leaning forward she put her head in her hands and roughly shoved her hands through her knotted hair. "Ugh" Coherent thought escaped her as she let the sound fall from her mouth. She needed a coffee. She'd get Ruby to get her a nice big cup from Granny's first thing, the stuff at the station was foul. Her thoughts really were all over the place, swinging wildly from Regina and her nightmares to thoughts of food.

"Get a grip." She whispered to herself, knowing that talking to herself wasn't helping her win the argument that she wasn't crazy. Resigning herself to everything because she was running on empty and there was so very little left she got up and ran the wash cloth under the tap and re-applied it to the brunette's forehead. Then she slouched in the chair and stared at the woman she was nursing, slipping slowly back into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

"Daddy, I'm _so_ sorry."

Emma jerked, she hadn't remembered falling asleep again, but the quality of the light falling through the window was much improved.

It was nearly day time and Emma felt broken herself. Ruby, food and coffee couldn't come soon enough. Emma didn't have much energy but she did manage to wonder what had happened to Regina's father. Emma knew that Henry was named after him, the crypt was a monument to him, and Regina obviously had loved him. Another thing she filed away, as she stood and her whole body protested. She prayed no-one wanted the Sheriff's department today, she hoped Pongo stayed on his lead and any traffic violations stayed minor and unreported. She was in no state to do her job today. She felt the strange laughter try and come, an image of Regina reprimanding her for being unable to do her job, because she had spent the last few days looking after said woman, that would be just the way Regina would behave.

With coffee, bear-claws and a mid-afternoon nap while her Mother visited Emma manged to get through the day, thankfully there were no disasters and she went out on one patrol just so the citizen's knew she was still alive and not to try anything. There was no change in Regina, she remained steadfastly unconscious, _difficult woman that she was_ Emma's mind told her. Nothing with her was ever easy, why would this be? Emma resigned herself to another night of watching and care giving.

* * *

The second night was filled with whimpers and repressed screams, but even though Emma sat next to the bars but she wasn't able to make out any further words. She got up regularly to wipe brown locks from the forehead and replace the damp compress, but she did manage to sleep a little better that night. She struggled with the worry that she wasn't doing enough, but Regina was drinking water and the soup as Emma supported the woman and tilted her head, her body hadn't shut down completely, so Emma hoped this was enough.

* * *

It was early on the third day, Emma sensed the change in the groggy moan, rather than the whimpers and snuffling noises she had grown used to. She got up and walked to the cell, speaking quietly but firmly.

"Hello Sleeping Beauty."

Regina recognised the voice and heard rather than saw that there was a smirk on the blonde's face. Despite everything hurting like hell Regina managed to croak out, "Wrong fairy tale. I left her behind in the Enchanted Forest."

Emma's body showed her surprise, jumping enough that the brunette saw it. Doing a double take and then glaring with intensity at the brunette Emma just let the silence fill the room. The brunette would have laughed at the comical expression of surprise the blonde displayed, but she hadn't the strength. It hurt to breath, let alone laugh. She couldn't even smile, her lips hurt and her mouth was so dry. Her vision was blurring, she knew it was Emma and she saw her movements, but nothing was defined. Her head felt like it had been split in two and as she tried to sit up a wave of pure agony washed over her causing her to moan and still immediately.

She lay perfectly quiet, not moving for a few minutes, trying to push the pain far enough away so she could speak. It was an old trick, one she used when her Mother had still been in her life. The old coping mechanisms came back to her quickly, and she was able to find enough energy to push the question from her cracked lips.

"Where am I?"

"The Sheriff's Station."

Her mind reeled, "Why am I a prisoner Miss Swan, I was the one assaulted?" She tried to get bite and indignation into her voice, but it husked out dry and broken. She closed her eyes and she could see the people coming at her, she had no memory after hitting the ground, but she knew from the way her body hurt she had been beaten severely. With a sad sigh she realised this was the most broken her body had been, that this was the most pain she'd ever had inflicted on her, but it was a close thing and she had survived before. She knew she'd survive this, she had practice.

"Door's open" Emma told her, "But I don't think you're in any state to use it."

Regina lay there, recognising the truth of it. She reached out to her magic and felt it so very weakly pulsing. She couldn't heal herself or magic herself home. She was trapped. Regina hated to be trapped, it sent panic coursing through her body. It reminded her of loveless marriages and manipulative mothers.

Her situation was dire, she was at the mercy of her ex-lover, who she had tried to poison just a few days ago. She was defenceless. She suddenly felt fear bubble up inside of her, cold and gripping. When Emma stepped into the cell she stopped breathing, waiting to see what would happen. When the blonde reached out to grasp the glass of water and held it to her lips, Regina couldn't believe what was happening. She drank what was offered to her, but failed to comprehend what was really occurring.

Emma put the glass down and walked away, throwing the words over her shoulder, "Try and sleep Regina, you need it."

Regina didn't want to sleep, she wanted to keep her eyes open to see the attack she was sure was coming, to know it was the end and face it with dignity, but as she lay still her body refused to co-operate and blackness filtered into her vision and her breathing evened out. She slipped into a well needed sleep and the blonde finally sat down with a relieved smile on her tired face. She wasn't going to give into the pull of sleep, she was just going to sit and relax. It was only minutes after the brunette had fallen asleep that Emma joined her, the blonde was unable to keep her eyes open any longer.


	4. Learning About the Past

Hi Ladies and Gents, I hope you are all well.

Rather a long chapter, but I didn't really want to chop it up or shorten it. I hope you can stick with it and don't get bored!

Enjoy and if you want to review I will be very grateful.

* * *

Ruby stood over the sleeping Sheriff with a cup of take-out coffee and a box with bear claws in it. As she put the pastry filled box down on the desk Emma shifted and lifted her head from the wooden surface.

"They smell good" she said in a sleepy and groggy voice.

Ruby smiled at her friend and gently shock the coffee cup and her smile grew as Emma's eyes sparkled at the sight.

"Thanks Ruby, you're a life saver."

The brunette woman looked at the blonde and saw the deep circles under her eyes, the stress and tiredness from the last few days had etched lines into her face, she looked more drawn then she had ever seen her, but her eyes were clear and the smile wasn't forced like it had been the last few days.

Placing the coffee cup into Emma's outstretched hand she asked, "So has she woken up yet?"

Emma had lifted the lid on the cup and was blowing the steam off the dark liquid while trying to inhale the scent so she just nodded at her friend.

"And you think that is a good thing?" Ruby queried, now knowing why the blonde was more relaxed.

"Yeah, don't you?" Emma cocked her head to the side and regarded the face of the waitress before her.

"Emma, you're my friend, and I don't want you to get hurt. And The Evil Queen hurts everyone, I don't think Regina even knows how to function as a normal person. She maimed and killed countless people and even Henry, her child, her greatest love, she's hurt him too. Please listen to reason, that's all we want. All the while she was unconscious she wasn't a threat, we allowed you time to process. But now, Emma she is dangerous and people will still want to the hurt her for the things she did. Defending her, standing in their way, it won't be easy, I'm not even sure it is right. Putting yourself in harm's way for her is crazy."

Emma sensed the truth in Ruby's statement, she wasn't lying to her, and Emma respected the woman for not sugar coating things. She had been honest and straightforward and Emma knew she was acting from concern.

Taking a deep breath the blonde held Ruby's gaze, "Regina may have done terrible things. I can't dispute her past, but what's done is done. No amount of hurting her, more bloodshed will change the past. But Ruby, she isn't that person anymore, she isn't The Evil Queen. That person couldn't have raised Henry, he is a boy who knows right and wrong, he is a beautiful and loving child. She taught him that, Regina raised him, not The Evil Queen."

"Even if you can see the good in her, no-one else will Emma. Everyone else is still bitter and resentful of what she did to them. People want her to suffer. Will you honestly stand in their way?"

"Yes." the blonde nodded, no hesitation in her reply, her tired voice strong despite how weary she actually felt. "This needs to end, you can't continue the cycle of death, retribution, destruction. If we do we will end up in a lawless state where the most powerful rise to rule. And the people left behind won't be worth it, they will be the greedy, the ruthless, and the ones who manage to survive by lying and cheating and selling their souls. I don't want to be a part of that world, I don't want to raise Henry in that kind of environment. I will fight for this way of life, and this way of life includes forgiveness, acceptance and letting go of the past."

"I think you are blurring the lines Emma, people only want to punish her" Ruby nodded in the direction of the cell, "they feel she deserves it."

"That's how it always starts Ruby, someone looking the other way while someone else satisfies their twisted desires or needs. The whole history of this world has been shaped by that happening, we have had two world wars because someone somewhere thought it was ok to persecute and spread their own brand of hatred. We have racism, homophobia, and genocide because good people failed to act. Taking one life, however justified it might seem, is how it always starts and then snowballs out of control. I'm not prepared to look the other way, to agree to that, to say murder, even on this occasion, is ok. It isn't and never will be while I'm Sheriff."

Ruby sighed, there was a steely look in her friend's eyes, her determination was clearly written in the clench of her jaw and the brunette knew she wasn't going to be able to talk Emma out of this.

With a shrug of her slim shoulders she told the blonde before her, "Ok, I get it, your mind is made up. Just be careful and watch your back, both from Regina and the rest of the town." Ruby looked pointedly at her friend and then swung her eyes to the occupied cell.

"Rubes?" Emma stood up as her friend turned away and called her back. "Can you ask Mary Margaret, um Snow, to come by? I really need to ask her some things."

"You mean your Mother?" The brunette raised an eyebrow and Emma scowled at her.

"Can we not do this now? I have enough on my plate." Emma struggled to keep her voice level and emotion free. Unconsciously her hand moved to the back of her neck and rubbed before moving to pass through her tangled blonde locks.

"Sure." Ruby nodded her head, "But if you ever want to talk I'm here."

"Thanks Ruby, I appreciate it. For everything you've done. You're a good friend." Emma smiled at the other woman, who returned it and then walked out of the Sheriff Station.

She really hoped Emma knew what she was doing, because defending Regina wasn't going to be an easy task. She shook her head and turned down the street to get back to the Diner, she hoped Granny wouldn't moan about her timekeeping, but it really that was a forgone conclusion. Regina's cursed life might have disappeared, but her Granny's negative attitude to her grand-daughter's life, well that was a constant across both realms.

* * *

Emma was awake and the coffee tasted great as it slid, burning harshly, down her throat. She hadn't meant to sleep, but she had to admit the relief she had felt at hearing Regina's strained and deep voice that morning had swept through her and taken any residual adrenaline and desire to fight away with it. She had given in to the exhaustion and while still tired, she realised that she felt a thousand times better than she had this time yesterday. She could ring Henry and tell him his brunette mother was going to be ok. Just that thought made her smile, knowing the boy was still confused about how he felt but that deep down beneath the hurtful words and anger he held for Regina, he loved her desperately. And he would continue to be able to love her, because she was a fighter and she would get better.

Emma felt the stirrings of hope inside her. She had no idea why, it was bizarre even to her that she cared about Regina's well-being. Shrugging it away and telling herself that the only reason was the words she had said to Ruby that morning, Emma stood and let herself into the cell to check Regina over.

Emma's words that morning had been true, she hated persecution, and she had never understood why people had a problem with minorities and why people used attack and hatred to obliterate the vulnerable. She wasn't naïve and didn't want "World Peace" for the sake of it, but she had wanted to be able to grow up happy and healthy and not be judged for her badly fitting clothing, her lack of money, beaten for simple mistakes like forgetting to turn off a light. Her whole world growing up had felt like she was a victim, labelled and put in a box and then discarded by practically everyone as worthless because she didn't have a family, stability, any money. Her foster families hadn't helped, often just seeing the kids they took in as a pay check and not complete human beings that needed nurturing and love. She had bonded with other kids both in and out of the system, but as she was moved around so often any lasting relationships were difficult to maintain.

Emma knew her upbringing had left her with issues and a deep seated feeling of injustice. She knew she had abandonment issues, and that her sense of what was right had been born from treatment she had received that had been less than that. She had been bullied and abused because she was different, she had no-one to stand up for her, and she refused to stand by and watch other people do that, even to Regina.

Maybe especially because it was Regina.

Emma stood still and thought about it in the still of the Sheriff's Station, leaning against the cold bars and observing the brunette. She recognised the broken and shattered woman hidden behind the mask, recognised the walls as a defence and coping mechanism. Regina used anger as a deflection, it repelled people, kept them out. It meant the brunette was incredibly lonely, but it also made sense that she was keeping herself safe. Emma followed that thought back, to the night when she had forcibly turned Regina's magic off. Regina had been begging her Mother not to hurt her, to stop. Emma's realisation that Regina displayed typical signs of an abused person hit her like a sledge hammer, knocking the air out of her lungs in an intense exhale. She looked at the woman asleep and it felt like for the first time she actually saw her. Worse it was like looking in a dirty fun house mirror, the image distorted, but Emma could clearly see similarities between the two of them. Emma had traced faded scars when they were naked, wondering about them. Now they made sense to her, old injuries inflicted before Regina had been competent with magic and able to defend and heal herself. Injuries she had sustained at home from a mother who lashed out.

Emma recognised Regina's anger to, she herself often swung to anger, it had taken her years of working through her issues to not react badly whenever something went wrong or someone upset her. She had to take a deep breath and force herself to calm. Regina was still in the angry phase, never opening up and allowing herself to let go of the bitterness, so it festered and twisted, unresolved and eating at her. The only calm Regina had was Henry and when Emma had arrived and began setting down roots The Mayor had thought she would lose him and had reacted with a frightening intensity and the only thing she knew, more anger and hatred. She had only ever known how to attack, to defend what was hers with aggression and Emma had been hit full force with it.

Emma knew she was right, it explained so much, and she felt a pang of sympathy. Emma's abuse had been by foster parents, bullied by other school children and let down by a system that viewed her as a number, it appeared Regina's abuse had been at the hands of her own Mother. Emma's stomach turned, this was meant to be someone who protected you as a child, nurtured you and helped you find your own way in life. It appeared Regina hadn't been allowed that freedom.

Emma had spent her whole life longing for a family to protect her and love her, never understanding why she had been abandoned. She realised that there was another similarity here, Regina had grown up in fear and without love, in a dysfunctional family. Her Mother, from Emma's limited inference, appeared to have been cruel and physically punished Regina. Emma wondered if the brunette, like herself, had wished for a better family life, for an escape, to be left alone and grow up to be herself.

It might explain Regina's attitude to the sex they had been engaging in. She knew what she wanted and took it. Emma wondered whether her brunette lover had spent a childhood growing up being told no and now she was in control and no longer accountable to her mother's wishes and desires, was that why she fought so hard to maintain that control and satisfy herself? Emma knew the sex had been twisted, it had also begun to morph into something else nearer the end, something neither woman had directly addressed. Emma wondered if Regina was so lonely that they had formed some kind of closeness, some bond. Had it been what made things so explosive between them? Their tortured and broken selves pulling to one another as kindred spirits, subconsciously yet unperceived by the two women. Thinking about the sex Emma felt her nipples harden against her shirt and knew she couldn't get caught up with thoughts like that. They had been good together but that was over now. Any trust they had built had been destroyed by the apple turnover and Emma wasn't crazy enough to fall back into bed with Regina, no matter how wonderful her hands and mouth had felt or how good she had tasted.

Emma ignored the pull she suddenly felt in her stomach and the heat between her legs and crossed the cell to the sleeping woman. Regina was deeply asleep because she was breathing rhythmically and had curled into a ball facing the wall of the cell. Emma tucked the blanket tighter round her and felt the temperature of her forehead, which was cool. Stretching her tired limbs and hearing her back crack, Emma then leant over to study the face of the other woman which was relaxed, her brow was unfurrowed and her jaw unclenched. It was obvious the brunette was exhausted and her body had shut down so it could naturally heal. Emma thought she looked beautiful, even bruised and battered like she was. With an effort she pulled her eyes away and went back to her bear claws, her stomach rumbled appreciatively at the thought.

* * *

It was several hours later when Mary Margaret popped her head through the doorway and smiled warmly at Emma.

"Hi Sweetie, I hear she woke up?" The pixie haired woman tried to be cheerful, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Emma guessed the history between the two women would never really be settled and she dreaded what her Mother would say if she ever found out they had been intimate with each other. The blonde guessed Regina had been quietly laughing about that during the curse and she felt anger that she might have been played and used like a pawn in a bigger game. She also hoped Regina would keep her mouth shut and not taunt her Mother with the facts. Emma needed to build bridges with her parents, not have trouble stirred up before she even got a proper chance to acknowledge them in her life.

"Hi Mary Margaret." Emma greeted the woman, and saw hurt flash across her face. Emma knew exactly why, but using the word Mom just felt wrong. When they had been living together they had spoken about sexual encounters and shared things that Emma never thought she'd tell her Mother. There was definitely going to need to be a period of adjustment and Mary Margaret moving to the role of Mom wasn't just going to happen overnight.

"Do you want a coffee?" Emma stood and walked to the machine, flipping it on so it started to heat up and brew, bringing a chair back with her for them to sit in a close huddle together on.

"No I don't think so. Are you going out on patrol?"

"No, I wanted to ask you some things about Regina."

Mary Margaret sat in the chair with a guarded expression, regarding the blonde woman before her. "Why?" She queried, seeing nothing but honesty on her daughters face.

"She was talking in her sleep. I wanted some context about the things she said."

"Oh." Mary Margaret let the sound hang in the air while she thought. After a minute she added, "And why do you think I could help?"

"You grew up with her, she was your Step-Mother, and you're probably the only person who knows her at all."

"Emma I grew up with a loving father and a distant woman who turned on both of us. I don't know her, she is a shell of the person when we first met." But Mary Margaret failed to hold Emma's eyes and the blonde sensed beneath the anger in the statement there was much more below the surface to that comment.

"Then tell me what you do know. Do you know who Daniel is?" Emma kept her mother in her line of sight and watched as the woman visibly stiffened at the mention of Daniel.

"Daniel was Regina's lover back when she was a teenager. He died. I know Regina never got over it and shortly after his death she was married to my father. She became Queen with a loving husband but she failed to accept what she had, that Daniel was gone and her life needed to move on. I think even then she was dabbling with dark magic and trying to bring him back."

"How did he die?" Emma asked quietly.

"His heart was ripped out and crushed. Regina had planned to run away with him and when her Mother found out she intervened in the harshest way." Again Emma felt there was something she was missing, something that wasn't being told to her by her flatmate. Her head swan with the new information, that magic could be used like that, the casual way Mary Margaret was referring to heart being torn out of chests and someone dying. She also felt sick that Regina's Mother had resorted to such extreme actions and that Regina had witnessed it. What world was this that she had been born into?

"And Regina's mother, she wielded magic like Regina does?"

"Regina's mother was Rumpelstiltskin's pupil before Regina. They were both skilled in the dark arts of magic, but Cora disappeared shortly after the wedding. Rumours were she didn't have a heart and was very powerful and manipulative, that she was abusive and cruel. Only someone with great power or great depth of emotion could have removed her. I suspect Regina disposed of her mother as retribution for Daniel's death and payment for years of suffering. Regina and Daniel, I saw them together and they were very much in love. Regina was so different from her mother to begin with, when I first met her I saw her beauty and spirit, I hoped we could be friends. She was a good person who saved my life, she was carefree and in love, but as time went on, she became more and more like her mother, she allowed the bitterness and loss to seep into her."

"So you didn't know Cora well?"

"No, only really by reputation and I was very young. It was only later I realised she was a nasty and manipulative person who wanted the power of the crown and throne, she didn't care about Regina's happiness."

That was an odd comment, and piqued Emma's interest. "How did you come to know that?"

Mary Margaret sighed, and looked away collecting her thoughts. Her hands that were clasped in her lap fidgeted together nervously before coming together in a tight grasp.

"I didn't originally know Daniel had died, Regina told me he had run away. She only told me much later that he had been killed by her mother because of a secret I had told. Cora sat me down and tricked me into telling her that Regina was going to run away, that she didn't want to marry my father because she was in love with someone else. Regina blamed me for Daniel's death, for my choice to tell her mother the truth. She thinks I cost her everything."

Mary Margaret bowed her head, structuring what else she wanted to say. She swallowed as she continued, "I was young and had just lost my own Mother. Cora exploited my naivety and childish belief that all mothers would want what was best for their daughter's. I never thought that my words would lead to Daniel's death, I thought I was helping. Regina lost herself to grief and she blamed me for everything that happened then and after that as well. The wedding, the years of unhappy marriage, being able to find my own happiness when I met your father and we married."

Emma was starting to see what had twisted Regina. And it all lead back to Cora. She sat quietly absorbing what she had been told and what she thought she knew. Cora had wanted Regina to be Queen, Regina herself hadn't wanted it at all and had her own plan. But Regina had blamed Snow for her naivety, when Regina herself had shown great naivety thinking running away would solve her problems. If her mother truly was that powerful then no amount of running would have kept them safe. If Cora had wanted Daniel dead, then no matter what actions had been taken, the poor man's life would have been ended eventually. And Regina's coping mechanism for the grief had been needing to place blame for his death. She was unable to retaliate against her mother, so the young Snow White had borne the brunt of the anger. It was probably years of anger too, years of abuse all culminating in an intense hatred directed at the only person left to blame.

"Where was Regina's father while all of this was going on?" Emma suddenly realised that Regina had two parents and that her father had been greatly important to her. But not so great as to intervene, to stand up and put a stop any of this.

"He was a quiet man, weak but devoted in his own way. I think he stood by while Cora manipulated things, but he came to live with us in the castle and was always there for Regina."

"What happened to him?"

Mary Margaret shook her head, "I don't know Emma, the last report we received he was alive and with Regina, but all we were concerned with was The Dark Curse. We knew it was coming and that we needed to protect everyone. We had our own plans, so I don't know how or when he died."

"And those plans, they were the ones that involved putting me in a wardrobe and sending me alone to a faraway land?" Emma looked hard at her mother, trying to keep the anger at bay so she could find out the truth.

Mary Margaret looked away, hurt again as she swallowed down her emotions, wanting to give her daughter the truth, to try and explain. She had never thought she'd have to explain in a dusty Sheriff Station, she imagined celebrations and happy tears, not barely concealed accusations and anger.

"Emma it was never meant to be like that." The pixie haired woman looked long and hard at her daughter, willing her to believe that she had been wanted and loved, that it was circumstances that had conspired against them all to rob them of a life together. "The wardrobe would only hold one person, it was meant to be me so I could give birth to you in this land and be with you. You came early, the wardrobe wasn't ready and then the curse came and we did the only thing we could. We sent you away alone, knowing you were our only hope, you were going to be our Saviour. And you have been, you broke The Dark Curse and we are back together."

Emma nodded distractedly at the woman in front of her, ignoring the tears that sprang to her mother's eyes. She knew Mary Margaret believed what she was saying, and that she was ultimately a good person, but Emma's childhood had been pretty crappy, and to dismiss it all because there was a grand plan in place, Emma was struggling to remain composed. She didn't want to place blame, she didn't want to get angry and break the fragile bonding that was taking place with her parents. She understood Regina was responsible for the curse, but what kind of people put a new born baby in a wardrobe and sent them to another world, a world they had no idea about? Anything could have happened to her, and Emma knew she wasn't the world's best parent but even she thought that the actions were irresponsible.

It was almost like her mother was blinkered to Emma's 28 years. She thought the end justified the means, happily accepting the consequences, the broken curse, while forgetting Emma had lived 28 years without parents and struggling with life on her own.

Emma stood and walked to the forgotten coffee machine and poured herself a cup. She fiddled with milk and sugar, knowing she wanted the sugar and caffeine fix after her sleepless nights the last few days. She had tears in her own eyes and blinked heavily to clear them. She didn't want to upset her mother, she just didn't want to talk about this now. She had learned so much in such a short space of time and she was in danger of completely collapsing emotionally from the weight of everything.

Keeping her voice level the blonde said, "Thank you for coming and talking to me. Thank you for being honest, I know it wasn't easy."

Emma turned to look at her mother and smiled gently. The dark haired woman stood up and placed her hand comfortingly on the blonde's upper arm, feeling the tense of the muscle before Emma forced herself to relax. She knew she was being dismissed and knew better than to make things awkward so she returned the smile and lovingly stroked Emma's arm before turning around and walking slowly out of the Sheriff Station.

Emma walked in a daze back to her chair and thudded hard into her seat. She wasn't sure who the tears were for, but she let them fall, exhaustion adding to her loss of control as her chest heaved and her breathing hitched, her vision blurring as the hot, wet tears fell in salty paths down her face. Everything was just too much.

The brunette in the cell stirred and listened to the sound of the blonde crying, taking no joy from the sound of Emma hurting so much. She didn't hate Emma, not like she thought she did. The tears reminded her of the only other time she had seen the blonde cry, against her shoulder at the base of her stairs before they started sleeping together. That thought reminded Regina that what they had was complicated, but it wasn't hate. It had begun as hatred, a game, but had changed somewhere into something entirely different, something dangerous. Regina didn't know what had upset her ex-lover, she could only begin to guess what a mess Emma was in. She had found her parents, parents she had spent a life time blaming for abandoning her. She was slowly learning about the true nature of the town, her history, the land where she had originally come from. She had teetered on the brink of losing her son, fought hard to save him and found out her ex-lover was responsible for creating the whole mess in the first place. If Regina was capable she might have said the emotion she felt was sympathy.

She curled tighter into the blanket, realising as she did so her state of undress. Shock rippled through her, followed by indignation. How dare Emma presume to undress her and touch her? But then the cold realisation of what had happened to her settled and she knew she had been cared for, she could smell the antiseptic smell of the creams that had been applied to her bruises, she had tasted the cloying taste of vomit and the rough burn to the back of her throat that indicated she had been sick but realised that had been cleared away and she remembered flashes of the cool glass against her lips, knowing she had been kept hydrated while unconscious. Emma had done that, and really, given their history together she was glad it was her and not someone else. Although she guessed no-one else would have bothered to keep her safe or care for her in any case.

Her bed was lumpy, the blanket was scratchy, but as Regina thought back to the last clear memory she had, one where she lost all focus on and passed out on her porch, she was surprised she was able to feel anything. She had thought that was the end, that her long and lonely life was finally over. She knew she was hurt and there was a long way to go, but she had another chance and she would take it for Henry. She wanted to see her son again. Hearing Emma start to regulate her sobs Regina tried and failed to stop sleep taking her again.

* * *

Emma cared for Regina despite the brunette's objections and insulting behaviour. Eventually Regina had given in, knowing she was in no state to help herself. She had sat for several hours refusing help, but finally realising she was unable to stand unaided and desperately needing to use the bathroom she had given in and asked through gritted teeth for the Sheriff to assist her.

Emma had taken to helping her dress but that was again greeted with protests that sweat pants and baggy t-shirts were not suitable attire. Emma had then explained her old clothes were damaged beyond repair and that Regina's healing body needed to be kept warm but also needed clothing that allowed air to circulate to aid healing for her injuries. Finishing her argument by saying that the clothes were a practical compromise she got a raised eyebrow and an exasperated noise thrown at her, before the brunette grudgingly put her foot through the pants leg and allowed Emma to pull the item up her body and clinch it round her waist.

Emma was helping her to the bathroom, being told to wait at the threshold, listening to the moaning that the hot water never got hot enough, that the woman couldn't get clean from a wash cloth and that she wanted and needed a bath. Emma refrained from saying it was a City building, under the control of the Mayor's office and that the hot water issue was a council matter. She could imagine what would happen telling Regina where any complaints should be directed. She also couldn't take Regina home just yet, the woman wasn't steady on her feet or well enough to be left alone, and as that was where the bath was, there was no other choice than to wash in the sink in the small and dimly lit bathroom.

The blonde had been feeding Regina soup for the first few days and then the arrangement progressed to Emma fetching food for the other woman. Emma only agreed to it once she felt Regina would be ok eating solid food again. Granny gave her the disapproving stare when she ordered a chicken salad, the woman knowing exactly who that item would be going to. Emma didn't do vegetables or grilled chicken and it was a well-known fact around town that the Sheriff had The Queen under her protection.

Regina's sight was cloudy for a few days but eventually cleared and her snark and sarcasm came back full force on the third day. Emma knew for certain then that the woman was going to be fine. Regina had even threatened her with magic and vast amounts of pain if she dared to tell anyone about what she had seen and had to do to help the woman. Emma took the chance and agreed, making Regina promise that she wouldn't ever disclose to Henry or Snow and Charming about their liaisons. Both women had shaken on it, before Regina quipped she was beginning to feel like the devious little Imp, making deals and agreements.

Emma looked away, having issues with Mr. Gold after she had found him lurking outside and calling him on what he was doing. His response hadn't settled her nerves any as he explained he had found Belle, his True Love and it appeared Regina had imprisoned her while she was The Evil Queen and then for the duration of the curse as a bargaining chip. He wanted to hurt the woman, he wanted pay back. Emma had felt his anger and the hum of magic in the air, the feeling similar to the night she had woken to find Regina with magic buzzing in her hand. She had taken his warning seriously but turned him away saying she had been hurt enough. She was surprised that he left but was absolutely certain he would be back now he knew Regina was alive and healing, he was only going away to formulate a plan.

Even before Regina's sight cleared they bantered and Regina had been able to get to the point when Emma put her arms round her shoulders or waist to help distribute and carry her weight she didn't flinch or tense too much. There was an uneasy truce between them, Regina never thanking the blonde, but she had been toning down her barbed remarks and trying not to be too rude to the other woman. They even joked about buying apple pastries from Granny's and the words forgiveness had been lightly tossed into a conversation before the weight of it all came crashing down on them and Emma quickly moved away and put a physical barrier of her desk between the two of them.

Emma slept on her desk, but she had the ability to sleep anywhere and she was sleeping much better without having to worry about the other woman. She needed to be on hand in case Regina needed anything during the night but as each day passed she was recovering slowly but well. Both women smiled when Regina had a visitor, Emma at the joy she could see shining on the brown eyes and knowing she had made the right decision.

Henry was the visitor, but only after Emma finally went home to the loft for a few hours late in the evening after she had spoken to Mary Margaret. Regina had been asleep and Emma had locked her in, for her own safety of course.

She explained to Henry that Regina had been badly assaulted, but that she was going to be ok. When he told her that he was certain his Mom deserved everything she got Emma finally lost her temper with him. She raised her voice and called him ungrateful, her exhaustion taken out on her little boy who failed to understand how lucky he had been to be placed with Regina for the first ten years of his life. Admittedly the last 6 months had been rough, but until then he had been spoilt rotten and adored. All Emma had wanted in her life was a loving family and Henry had a mother who gave him everything. Emma only had to look in his room at the mansion and see his games console, toys and comic books. He had everything a growing boy needed, including love that he had scorned. When he had stormed away she let him, her own anger simmering before she heard his broken little sobs coming through the paper thin walls of the apartment.

She had gone to him and held him and rocked him, her arms round his shaking frame. She apologised to him for losing her temper and raising her voice and she did her best, knowing she was a poor replacement and that the action didn't feel right to either of them, but she was trying. She knew deep down he was scared for his brunette mother and that his anger at being lied to and sent to therapy when he was the only person who saw the truth was what was at the root of his anger.

"Why did she do it?" He had finally snuffled out when the crying subsided to hitching breaths.

"Kid, you'll need to ask her. But she won't lie to you anymore. She was so scared when she realised she had cursed you with the apple turnover. She has only ever wanted you to love her."

"Are you sure?" He sounded lost and very much like the small child he really was.

"Yes I am. Neither of us has helped this situation, we played a tug of war with you and your emotions, and that was wrong. Both of us behaved badly. But it was because we both love you in our own ways. Your Mom's love is just a little over bearing and controlling, but that doesn't make it any less real." Emma was pleased at her assessment of the situation, she even thought it was fair.

Glad Henry wasn't asking more questions about The Evil Queen she kissed his forehead and told him to go to bed, he was obviously exhausted and confused and she knew he missed her and Regina, both of them disappearing when he most needed them. She felt guilt gnaw at her but knew she couldn't do anything about it. Henry was safe with her parents, after all he was too big to fit in a wardrobe, and this was a very short term arrangement.

Trying to sneak away without her parents spotting her failed miserably and she ended up having to eat a hastily thrown together meal Mary Margaret made while asking gently probing questions about Emma's plans when Regina was well and went home. Emma managed to appease them by telling them Regina was more awake and alert and that she thought she would be strong enough to look after herself in a few days. That gave them hope and they let her slink back to the station without any further protest.

* * *

Emma went out when Henry visited, she desperately wanted to know what Regina was going to say to him, but she knew they needed privacy and that Regina was less likely to open up if she felt Emma was listening. She saw hope and guilt and concern flicker across brown eyes when Henry first arrived, his own nerves clear from his shifting from foot to foot and grasping his back pack straps tight in his fisted hands.

"Hi Emma, can I see Regina?"

Emma wanted to reprimand the boy, this was his Mother, but she thought back to her own inability to call Mary Margaret anything else and relented. He was angry but at least he was here.

She led him to the cell and crouched down to look at him. "I'm going out, but if anything happens ring my cell. She still has headaches, her sight isn't one hundred percent and she can't stand for long on her own. Just talk to her ok?"

"Ok." Emma saw the trepidation on his face, mirrored but quickly obscured on his brunette mother's face.

She opened the cell door and shoved him through, thinking about locking them in so they had to talk, but left the door open and walked away. Locking up her son just didn't feel right, he was a good boy, he'd find a way to work through this and help Regina too.

"Hi. How do you feel?" Henry took in the bruising he could see and the grey sweat pants, her hair wasn't immaculate and her face lacked make-up. He'd never seen the woman like this, she looked tired, less powerful, less threatening. Admittedly Henry had never felt threatened by her, but he knew she had dressed a certain way to intimidate others. Now she looked ordinary, she looked smaller, but the smile she greeted him with was genuine. He looked at the dried blood on her split lip, the bloodshot in her eyes and realised she really had taken a beating. She patted the bed as an invitation and he hopped up but kept some distance between them.

"I am getting better Henry."

He was shocked at the gravelly quality of her voice. It wasn't the voice he was used to hearing, nothing about this woman he was looking at was what he was used to. He wasn't sure why that unsettled him. He was just so used to seeing her in control, being strong and giving orders. In his mind she was The Evil Queen and this person wasn't.

"When…" his voice faltered and Regina so desperately wanted to hold his hand, to reassure him but she didn't. She didn't know how he would feel about her trying to touch him.

He tried again, "When will you go home, when will you stop sleeping here?"

"Once I feel back to my old self, I'm getting better every day Henry, it shouldn't be long."

"Your old self?" Henry queried.

"When I'm healed up, the bruises have gone down and I can walk and see properly." The brunette woman clarified for him.

"So not The Evil Queen old self?"

Regina tried not to flinch too badly at the casual way her son referred to her as Evil. She spoke slowly and carefully picking her words, "Henry, I'm not The Evil Queen anymore. I was once, but that was a long time ago and in a different land. Here I am just Regina, I was the Mayor, I'm your Mom. The Evil Queen, she doesn't exist in this land."

He nodded but Regina knew it would take much more than words to convince him. His next comment cemented that thought for her.

"Do you still have magic?"

"Yes, but right now it is very faint. When my body was damaged most of my magic got used up protecting me. There is magic but it will take time to regenerate, and even once it is fully restored to me, magic in this world is different and I don't have the control and power I had back in The Enchanted Forest."

"Will you try and stop using it?" Henry turned to look at her and although she struggled to see his face clearly, she heard the earnest quality in his voice.

"Is that what you want? Will that help convince you I'm not that person anymore?"

"Yes. If you want to be better and don't want to hurt people then you won't need to use magic anyway." Henry nodded.

Regina thought his view so very simplistic, but then she had to remember he was still a child. You didn't need magic to hurt people, you could manipulate and twist things just fine without it. But she wanted to build a platform of honesty and trust with Henry and so she agreed immediately.

"Then for you I will do my best to stop using magic."

Henry sat quietly for a few moments, so Regina took the opportunity to ask, "How is school?"

"Weird, the teachers don't want to teach the stuff from this world. They argued for a few days about what to do so I just sat there and read my book. Then they decided to teach us about The Enchanted Forest and useful stuff from back there. I'm having to learn about the odd money system, potions and healing creams from roots and plants that don't exist here and stories about old kings who mean nothing to me. I don't care who King George's father was, or how King Midas became cursed and now can't touch anything without turning it into gold. Most days I sneak my book in and ignore the teachers."

"Henry…." Regina started and then stopped. She hadn't considered what would happen when the curse broke, only that it would mean huge trouble for her. She guessed everything in this work conflicted with the old realm and everyone was struggling to adapt. She didn't know whether she agreed with teaching the children Enchanted Forest traditions as they weren't in that realm, but she knew her opinion was never going to be considered. Should she chastise her son for rejecting the heritage and culture of everyone else around him, or should she speak to Emma about home schooling Henry because he needed skills for this world much more than he needed to know about bushels, furlongs, fotmals and bolts. She settled on changing the subject, "What book are you reading?"

"The Hobbit. Can I ask you something Mo….Regina?"

The brunette smiled at his slip. "What is it Henry?"

"Is that world real too? Are all things we think are stories just tales from another land?"

"I don't know Henry, it is true there are many worlds, but I don't know if Tolkien visited one and wrote from experience, or he just had a brilliant imagination. But his stories are captivating and I am glad you are using the time constructively at least."

She had slipped with ease into talking to her son so she forgot he was still angry and his next question removed all the warmth and comfort she had taken from the last few minutes of interaction.

"Did you really kill all those people, anyone who crossed you or failed you?"

She wanted to make him understand, but she wasn't sure there were words for that. She had lived it and she wasn't sure there was justification for all the horrendous acts she had committed, all the blood that stained her hands. Taking a breath and remembering she had promised herself she would be honest with Henry she began.

"Yes. But please let me explain and give you some context?" She felt his hard stare sitting on her skin, and saw him nod from the corner of her eye, eyes she had trained on the floor. He was waiting for her to speak, he was giving her a chance, so with trepidation she spoke.

"I never wanted to be Queen, but when Snow White who was heir to the thrown ran away, I took the opportunity. It meant my claim wasn't true as there was a surviving heir so I had to convince the subjects. I used fear to demonstrate my control and anyone who crossed me was committing treason, which was punishable by death. Even in other kingdoms treason was punished by death, it was accepted in our realm."

Taking a breath and seeing Henry was still listening she continued, "I was very angry back then Henry and it took very little to cause me to lose my temper and kill people. Failure in servants' duties was punished with death, and many people stood in my way to protect Snow White so I killed them too. I was ruthless in my pursuit of Snow and became lost and blinded by my thirst for vengeance. Anyone who dared to stand up to me or argue was a traitor to my quest and yes I killed many, many people."

Henry sat still and the brunette didn't want to interupt his thoughts. she sat equally still, hoping he wasn't about to run away and refuse to see and speak to her. The silent ate at her, so she clasped her hands together. Eventually he spoke, "So you weren't even meant to be Queen?"

"No, I was Queen by marriage, my husband was King." Regina kept her voice completely neutral, allowing no emotion to filter in at the mention of her dead husband. There were many deaths on her hands, some she regretted, and some she didn't. That one was one she didn't.

"Why did you marry him then?" Henry watched his brunette mother and tried to work out what it was he saw crossing her face in flashes. He only glimpsed it before she looked normal again.

"It was what my Mother wanted. She thought it would bring wealth and prosperity back to our family name."

"But why did you do it? I don't understand." Henry had his head cocked at her, trying to work out to his child's brain that believed in True Love and happiness why someone would marry someone they didn't love or even like that much.

"Have you heard of arranged marriages? They happen here in this world Henry, just mostly in foreign countries like India and the Middle East. It isn't common in the western world, but it was very common in the old land. My mother wanted me married and if the King asked, you didn't refuse. It was arranged and I had to go through with it."

"So you didn't love him?"

"No Henry, I'm sorry but I didn't."

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

Regina felt her heart clench, how could her son, who she loved so dearly, ask her that? Did he not know or feel the love she had given him for years? She knew the last year had been horrendous with accusations and lies, arguments at every turn, but had Henry honestly forgotten the previous ten years? They had been happy, they had laughed together and she had completely fallen in love with him. Had he never returned her affections?

"I love you." She whispered quietly and Henry realised his error. He watched his mother raise her head defiantly and close him out, the action familiar from the last 6 months whenever he had hurled abuse and hurtful things at her. She locked her real self away so that it hurt her less.

"I didn't mean that." He tried to placate, he hadn't thought before he had spoken, something his birth mother was equally good at. He saw a strained smile grace her features, it didn't reach her eyes. He knew he had upset her, but it meant he could lead into his next question and he really wanted answers.

"I just don't understand why you lied to me, why you sent me to therapy with Dr Hopper and made me think I was crazy." He hoped he had manged to recover the situation, because he wanted an honest answer and not the politician's smile and fake promises he knew his mother often fell back on. If he was honest to himself he was angry too and he needed her to understand that, so hurting her wasn't right but he didn't know how to express himself any better.

"I wanted to continue the curse, for it to last as long as possible. I could never have told you the truth Henry, it would have scared you and pushed you away from me. I was only trying to keep us both safe. If I had told you the truth and you believed it, you would have hated me. I know lying was wrong, but the truth was so unbelievable and I took the easy way out and I'm sorry you suffered and got hurt. I never meant for you to hate me, to poison you, to end up in this situation. When I adopted you I only wanted to love you and enjoy life together, I didn't think about the future and how you'd grow and age in a cursed town. Please believe me, I'm sorry for everything I put you through."

"Ok." His voice was small in the quiet of the cell.

Regina couldn't believe it was that simple, that he would forgive and accept that easily. Her heart was clenching and unclenching in her chest, emotions strong and deep rolling through her. She didn't know what to say so she looked around and her eye fell on her empty water glass. She reached over and picked it up, asking his son to refill it for her.

When he came back he sat and watched her drink. "I accept your apology. We've got a lot of things to work through, and I don't think I can move back in with you yet. I'm still really angry at you and I want to see you stop using magic before I trust you again. But Emma said something to me last night and she was right. You love me and took care of me well for the last ten years. And I love you back, I'm just really confused and don't know what to do about it."

Regina felt her throat constrict as her son looked at the floor and she felt him get close to tears. She had managed to hurt and damage the best part of herself, her son. "Henry…." she started.

"Don't Mom. I'll be ok, I just need time. But we can fix this." He reached over and brushed their fingers together as he took the glass from a slightly shaking hand. "I'll come visit tomorrow after school again."

"That would be lovely." Regina was able to rasp out before clearing her throat and watching him leave her alone. He had called her Mom again, and it had settled like an ember in her heart and was warming her through.

* * *

It was several nights after Henry's first visit, it was full dark outside and the old electric lights in the ceiling at the Station fought against the inky blackness. Emma had helped Regina to the bathroom and back again.

"Can I ask you something?" Regina looked a little nervous, but resolved at the same time. Her voice was clear and strong, which she was glad for. She had been going back and forth in her mind, deciding whether to have this conversation for days now. There were things she wanted to say, things her upbringing demanded she say. It would have been easier in the old world, Regina would never have actually had to thank someone personally. She could always press riches into someone's hands and tell them that "The Crown thanked them for their services."

This would have to be a more honest approach than Regina liked and it terrified her. The only thing that helped settle her was that it was Emma. Emma had been there to see her fall over the edge into orgasmic bliss and relaxation she had never allowed even Graham to see. Emma had seen both the best and worst of her, and had for some unfathomable reason, stayed. She had given away more of herself than she ever intended when they were together so if it had to be anyone at least she knew Emma was also damaged, had cried on her shoulder and struggled equally through life.

"Sure, fire away." The blonde answered turning body and her full attention towards the brunette.

Neither woman noticed Snow enter the room or sneak herself into a corner, so she could listen to the conversation. Since Emma had agreed to help Regina, Snow had struggled with what to do. She wanted to be there for Emma, they had spent years apart and she felt she owed her daughter. Yet to offer help to The Evil Queen, the woman who had persecuted her and torn her family apart, killed her father and separated her from her child and husband, it didn't sit well with the pixie haired woman. Using her bandit skills to stealthily creep into the room without being detected she listened, hoping she would learn what had driven her daughter into the defence of her once Step-Mother.

"You said before that you had forgiven me for my actions and you must have to speak to Henry and get him here to visit me. I just don't understand why? I know if it had been me, I would have carried the hatred and resentment around with me, I would be bitter and hurtful and unkind, and I don't understand how you can be so reasonable about our past together."

Emma looked into eyes that were honestly studying her. Eyes she knew held so much history, history filled with fear, abuse, anger, hurt. Things Emma wished she didn't know, but conversely, was also glad she did, glad she had managed to gain a little piece of understanding about the woman before her.

Emma guessed it was easier for her to empathise because out of everyone in Storybrooke, she was the most damaged person, other than Regina. She was the person who was likely to identify with, if not completely understand, and at least not judge the other woman. Emma had done things she hadn't been proud of, and her insecurities about her upbringing were always present.

Emma thought of all the times she had wished for things to be different. Regina had grown up in a world with a different set of moral codes, and with magic. Had Emma had magic, and no fear of reprisals, how many of her own wishes might she had given into and granted? Ones to torture Neal, the father of the baby who had left her to rot in jail. Ones to steal from the rich to better her own life? Ones where her step father dropped dead after he had beaten her again and broke her arm in a drunken rage?

Emma wasn't like her mother, Emma had experienced that the world wasn't a nice, safe place and that good and evil weren't black and white. Snow might argue she had been persecuted and had a hard life because of Regina, but Emma knew she had been brought up a Princess, had been spoilt by Emma's grandfather and always seemed to land on her feet. Emma's life in comparison was dark, full of hurt and reminded her that everything in this world were differing shades of grey, true goodness didn't exist. Even ordinary people got hurt when it wasn't their fault, happy endings and true love didn't grow on trees, and while most people were decent, sometimes even decent people did bad things. She took a breath and spoke from her heart.

"I know cursing Henry was an accident, I watched as you realised what you did and how it tore you apart."

Confusion danced across the brunette's face before she closed it down and all her features settled back into an unreadable expression. "But I wanted to curse you, I can understand you explaining to Henry that I love him, that it was an accident and that _he_ needed to forgive me. But why have you?"

"Because it was the right thing to do."

Regina rolled her eyes at that, knowing it wasn't really an answer, and that it sounded so like a Snow White comment that it was nearly a cliché.

"Helping an old lady across the street is the right thing to do. Having angry sex with you for months, manipulating you and then trying to curse you to sleep forever, is definitely not. My behaviour was wrong and forgiveness or acceptance isn't in the same kind of league, you can't just brush off what I did Emma."

Snow raised her hand to her mouth from her position in the darkness to stifle her gasp of surprise. Emma had been bedding The Evil Queen. Emma, her Princess daughter, had been enjoying another woman. And it was The Evil Queen. For a few seconds Snow's brain short circuited, shock, anger and hatred for the woman bubbled up inside her, and a nagging disappointment in Emma that she tried hard to push away and ignore. Emma had slept with men, she had given birth to Henry, surely she was straight? Had Regina been able to trick her daughter, use magic and place her under a spell? Belatedly Snow realised she had also just heard the nearest thing to an apology she had ever witnessed fall from Regina's lips. It had been an admittance, she had told Emma her behaviour was wrong.

Snow felt conflicted, she wanted an honest relationship with her daughter so she knew eves dropping was wrong, her daughter's private life should be her own. Snow was suddenly very aware that her daughter had something akin to a relationship with the brunette. No-one else would be able to get Regina to open up and apologise. She was probably the only person, except Henry, who Regina had spoken to honestly in any capacity. Snow tried to move enough so she could see Regina's face, but she was limited in her hidden position and didn't dare move too much for fear of drawing attention to herself. Was that why Emma fought for Regina? She cared for her? She thought she understood her? Or was it a spell and a trick to further hurt both her and Charming?

Emma continued, eyes never leaving the brown orbs opposite her, "I haven't brushed it off, I remember, I just choose not to let it eat at me, to be bitter and resentful of it. I had a choice. I hated you for doing that to Henry, I did, but he woke up. And when he did I still hated your actions, but there had been no permanent harm done. I had to decide, whether I would continue to hate you, to make life difficult between us. That was what I thought I wanted, to make you suffer, for things to continue to be hard and difficult between us."

Emma paused and licked her lips, her throat was dry, and she wanted a drink, something strong and alcoholic. Probably not cider. Regina jumped into the silence, "But…." Emma held up her hand to quiet the older woman.

"I thought about punishing you, taking Henry away, even killing you, but then I realised I was letting my heart rule my head. Killing anyone is wrong, and that wouldn't be the example I wanted to set Henry, or this town as the Sheriff. If your punishment was to fit the crime, you didn't deserve to die, as you hadn't actually tried to kill me. You just wanted me gone, so your curse remained intact and Henry was solely yours. And Henry loves you, needs you. It would be selfish to keep him away from you and ultimately damaging to him. This was a very difficult situation, even before magic and fairy tale characters became involved, but I do understand just a little. Your actions were selfish, but not unfathomable. You aren't psychotic, like everyone thinks Regina. You are unpredictable and emotionally broken which is not the same."

Regina opened her mouth, perhaps to tell Emma she was wrong, to deny the analysis of her character, but again the look Emma shot her caused her to close her mouth and instead she clenched her jaw and pressed her lips together, showing displeasure but not speaking. Regina knew this was Emma chance to talk, she had asked the question and now had to let the blonde tell her side, even if she didn't like what she was hearing.

Emma continued, "You react with intense passion, you are fiercely protective and have virtually no patience, but we can all reach that point when pushed. The only person I had ever seen you be respectful and nurturing towards was Henry, but I _have_ seen that part of you. I know you aren't devoid of emotion or love, you just hide it very well. The fact you would resort to such extreme measures to keep Henry just illustrated to me you love him and value him. And I love him too, so for his sake and my own I couldn't kill you. I couldn't keep you separated, keeping the bitterness between us festering. It sets no example to the Kid, I want him to grow up with forgiveness in his heart and never to have to carry the weight of an irreversible bad decision that eats him up."

Regina suspected Emma's bad decision that kept her awake at nights could well have been giving up Henry to begin with. She just nodded for Emma to continue speaking, knowing the other woman hadn't finished.

"And then when the town tried to kill you, for everyone's sake I didn't let them. The anger needs to stop, I don't want more blood spilt. Then I had to care for you" Regina's face contorted into some kind of grimace which Emma smirked at but ignored, continuing, "and I realised there are two sides to every story and I needed to start asking questions about the enchanted forest, magic, the laws and your behaviour while Queen."

"Always the Saviour." The brunette quipped, sarcasm heavy in her tone. She wasn't sure she wanted the blonde poking around in her past, forming judgements about her behaviour and actions. It worried her what might have been revealed.

"Don't call me that, Regina." Emma snapped, her eyes alight with fire. "I am a person who tries to do the right thing, I am not a Saviour, I don't deserve that title."

"But you broke the curse, you saved the town. That makes you a hero, special to these people."

Regina tipped her head and regarded the blonde. She sensed the anger but didn't understand it. Everyone thought Emma was good. Henry idolised his blonde mother, had believed in her from the beginning. Regina knew everyone believed her to be Evil, and knew her actions from the Enchanted Forest had been deliberately publicised to dominate them with fear. She hadn't cared one way or the other, she had always had her own agenda and desires and if her subjects chose to call her Evil then let them, as long as it wasn't to her face, that would have meant punishment by death. But to be called The Saviour, the opposite of The Evil Queen, surely that was a compliment anyone would welcome.

"I'm not the good person everyone assumes I am. I've done bad things, hurt people."

Emma looked at her ex-lover and decided they were having an honest conversation and she was likely the only person who would understand. They both knew bits and pieces of the others past and Emma knew she had seen Regina at her most vulnerable when Henry was involved. Her heart told her to trust so openly the blonde gave in with a sigh. Her words came out quickly as she went all in.

"It's too much, the expectation, being put on a pedestal. I hate anyone relying on me, I always let them down, I run away when things get difficult. Now I have the weight of a town sitting on my shoulders, and if that wasn't enough, two new parents and my child who think I'm incredible and I'm so scared. I'm out of my depth and floundering. I've used caring for you as an excuse not to go home and face them."

Emma breathed out and her shoulders sagged. Regina looked at her and saw the defeated stance. Posture was something that had been drilled into her from a young age, she would never have expressed her feelings in such a way, but Emma wore her heart much more openly. A heart Regina suspected had been beaten and scarred, was battered from a hard life in the foster system, her prison stay, being left behind by a devious lover and then the last few months in Storybrooke.

Snow was again shocked by the admission. Why was her daughter opening up to this woman, a woman she hated and had been responsible for separating them for the first 28 years of Emma's life. And Emma felt pressured by her title, by a perceived responsibility to the town and her new family. She thought back to the last few days of the curse, where Emma had run from her roommate Mary Margaret, taking Henry with her. She realised if Emma felt caged she could run again and she would lose her newly found daughter all over again. She wasn't prepared for that to happen, she would back off and explain to Charming they needed to be patient with Emma and let her come to them.

Regina nodded at the blonde, understanding the fear. Regina's whole life had been about fear, masking it, running from it, pretending she wasn't affected by it. Fear of her mother, then seeing that evolve into grief and fear born from loss and a broken heart. More fear when she was trapped into a loveless marriage, hating the loneliness which gave her nothing but time to think and remember. Then there was the fear of losing control and instilling the fear into others to maintain that control.

"That excuse won't last much longer Emma. You will have to face this sometime."

"I know. I just don't think I'll ever be ready. They can't make the last 28 years go away."

"No-one can. We can't put right the wrongs we have done, or had done to us." Regina locked eyes with the blonde and they both knew they had suffered and caused suffering, that neither of them were proud of the past. Regina didn't like the turn of the conversation, but she couldn't stop it now.

The brunette let out a long breath, one she had been holding as she convinced herself she needed to say the next words. Emma had sacrificed her time, been more than gentle with her. If nothing else etiquette demanded she recognise those actions.

"I wanted to thank you, for speaking to Henry and for caring for me. You are a good person Emma, you did this for me and I know the feelings in this town, it couldn't have been easy. You didn't run from that. You can stand up and be strong when you want to. You'll find a way to make things right between your parents. And I'm sorry."

Regina looked at the floor, her voice had dropped at the apology, probably the first to drop from her lips that was sincere since she had knelt over Daniel's lifeless body.

"Sorry for what?" Emma was confused, there was much Regina could be sorry about, but Emma sensed the weight in the words and that this was solely about Emma.

"I'm sorry for the 28 years you had, the 28 years that I know were hard. I have a file put together on you when you first arrived so I knew who I was dealing with. I know things about your past and that you never settled as a child. I know you had trips to hospitals that could never be completely explained away, and I can imagine what the time in prison did to you, pregnant with a child you couldn't keep."

"Regina, you cast the curse, but you didn't know about me or what was going to happen to me. I don't know how I feel about you, but it wasn't your choice to put me in a magical wardrobe and send me away."

Snow felt her blood run cold, Emma blamed her parents for sending her away. For the 28 years of hurt and the damage it had done to Emma as a person. That was why she was hiding at the Sheriff's Station, only fleetingly dropping by and having the most minimal of contact with her and Charming. Her daughter was angry at them, she couldn't work past the blame. Snow felt tears prick at her eyes, Regina had done this and yet Emma failed to see it.

Regina saw the blonde's conflict, and she only sought to calm her, to repay her for bringing her son back to her and tending her injuries when she was too broken to look after herself. She would deny to her last day to anyone else that she spoke these words, but she knew right now Emma needed an objective view. Whatever else the brunette thought about the two insipid love birds, she knew the words she heard come from her mouth were true.

"Emma, Snow and Charming, they did what they thought was best. Defending them is hard for me, I hated them so much, and they had every chance when throughout my life everything just seemed to be taken away. But because of that they haven't seen the dark side of life, they have a twisted view of the world. Snow was a spoilt child who thinks everything is rainbows and unicorns, Charming was a Shepherd who fell on his feet and became a Prince overnight. It means together they are naïve and stupid, they have no concept of the real world, but they wouldn't have done this to hurt you."

"I know they think they are good people, that they had no choice in this. But all they did was remove all of my choices. They separated us on the say so of a prophesy!" Emma banged her hand on the desk, her frustration and bitterness oozing from her.

"Sometimes good people do bad things, you said so yourself. Sometimes the best people stand by and do nothing. It doesn't mean they love you any less." Regina had a sad and faraway look in her eyes.

Emma took a breath and calmed herself. She knew how hard saying anything positive about her parents must have been for Regina. She hated them with a passion that had been so consuming she had cursed a whole land.

Emma was certain they weren't just talking about her past now. She knew Regina was closely guarded and yet somehow it was so much easier talking to Regina than anyone else she had opened up to. The brunette had even more emotional baggage than Emma did and Emma knew that this conversation and Regina's views and ability to understand were based on her own horrific life experiences. She wasn't just sympathetic, she comprehended what Emma's pain felt like, what it tasted like and why it continued to eat at her because Regina felt it too. The cause of the pain was for many different and some of the same reasons, but none of Regina's words felt hollow, they didn't feel just like someone saying the right things.

It frightened Emma that she had opened up to her Mother's mortal enemy, but it felt right. And Emma had grown to understand over the past week, that Regina was no longer her enemy. How Regina viewed her was still an unknown quantity. Yes she was grateful for the care she had received, for saving her life and bringing Henry back to her, but Emma sensed that there was little real friendship or feeling coming from the brunette. Emma trusted her though, if for no other reason that no-one else would speak to Regina, who else could she tell Emma's secrets to?

"I'm sorry too." Emma looked at the woman opposite her and that both knew they were skating round issues that were deeply buried.

"For what?" Regina echoed Emma's words.

"For the way life has treated you, for the hurt and pain and the losses. For Daniel and your Father."

Regina looked at the woman and knew she was serious but the mention of Daniel's name had hurt her and her eyes blazed in anger that Emma would speak of him.

"How do you know Daniel's name?" She practically spat at the blonde.

Emma stood her ground and replied in a firm voice that indicated she wasn't intimidated, "You talk in your sleep. You asked him not to leave you. And the tone, the pleading quality, god Regina it nearly reduced me to tears. You must have loved him so much."

Regina spun away from Emma, her face working hard to dispel the anguish and her hands clasping to stop the magic she felt swell inside her. Her whole being wanted to spin round and slap the blonde, scream at her that she didn't understand and that her words were not welcome. But she didn't. She felt the heat behind her eyes, the tears she refused to let fall. She bit at her lip to focus herself and set her face.

"Don't speak his name. No-one speaks of him."

And hearing the tight tone, the brittle edge to the brunette's voice, the pain reflected in her eyes, Emma wisely chose to agree to the request and nodded her consent.

Snow felt the tension in the air, the electric crackle she knew came from magic and desperately wanted to step out of the shadows and in front of her daughter. She had seen Regina this angry, but only a few times. They had never ended well. Instead she stayed quiet, intrigued what Emma would say now. Snow was amazed at the depth and connection between her ex-Step-Mother and her daughter, the honesty. She couldn't believe Regina had stood up straight and tried to defend putting Emma inside the wardrobe. The only thing Snow could think was that being a Mother had changed Regina, had made her know what it was like to love a child, and maybe she understood how difficult it had been for Snow to give up her child, maybe there was a sliver of common ground between them.

Regina was obviously very bitter and resentful of the love and relationship she had with Charming, she had spent the last few months as the curse weakened still trying to keep them separate, sowing seeds of doubt in their growing relationship, forcing them apart. But could it be that simple, that 28 years had dulled the pain and Henry's love had helped heal the broken heart inside the older woman? She hadn't killed anyone, just manipulated them and was it really as simple that The Evil Queen might really have been banished, to be replaced with Regina. An image of the woman who saved the young Snow flashed into her mind. This woman wasn't that young girl, but maybe she could be more like her and less like The Evil Queen if she was given a chance. Snow was highly doubtful, but as the magic hissed and crackled and dispelled from the air, she realised that The Evil Queen would have attacked and Regina hadn't. She was still radiating anger, her posture was ramrod straight and jaw clenched so tight it must have hurt her teeth, but she was maintaining control and Snow remembered to breath.

"Maybe one day?" Emma ventured.

"Don't push it Miss Swan."

"Fair enough."

Regina knew that the conversation was far from over, but that at least she wouldn't have to speak of Daniel again that night. She struggled to relax her face, her jaw hurt from being clenched so hard and she smoothed down a non-existent ripple in the sweat pants to relax her hands. She didn't understand why things had morphed from a simple thank you to this, she also didn't understand why she hadn't walked away and refused to answer the probing questions. She should have stopped this, now she had given Emma ammunition against her and she felt decidedly uncomfortable under the blonde's scrutiny.

"So can we talk about your Mother?"

"She's dead."

"That's a pretty finite statement, it doesn't tell me much."

"She was a horrible human being and now she is gone, there really isn't much else to say." Regina huffed.

Emma fell silent and Regina thought about ending this, saying goodnight and walking away. Instead she took the opportunity to satisfy her own curiosity and asked her own question, "Who was Henry's father?"

"Neal Cassidy, I tried to steal his car. That car" Emma indicated out of the window and Regina guessed it was the hideous yellow death trap. She rolled her eyes before realising she had been trying not to do that as often as the motion made her head ache and her to lose her focus and the room to spin momentarily.

"I was a young run away and we bonded because he had no-one who cared or loved him in his life either. We were there for each other and we survived by stealing. I'm not happy about that period in my life, we robbed from stores, had quite a few well worked cons and distractions we used. I thought it was love, he made me feel safe, gave me stability I'd never known before. We were sleeping together and I obviously became pregnant, but didn't know until after he left, he doesn't know about Henry."

There was bitterness in Emma's voice, Regina guessed Emma had been caught stealing and he had run, leaving her quite literally holding the baby. She wanted clarity so she pressed.

"How did he leave Emma?"

"He had stolen some watches, high end ones, that once fenced would give us enough money to settle down and not have to worry about robbing from convenience stores anymore. He had hidden them but he couldn't retrieve them because his face was on wanted posters. I agreed to get them and got caught with them. He wasn't there, he had run and left me to face the wrap for handling stolen property. It was never love and I felt so stupid for believing and trusting."

Regina nodded, there were no words. Betrayal by a loved one hurt the most, her mother's words always rang in her head whenever she felt herself swayed to trust someone. _Love is weakness._ And Regina had been weak, she had loved her mother regardless, right until the moment she had held Daniel's heart in her hand and squeezed until there was only dust left. She felt stupid every day for trusting her mother, for telling her the truth about Daniel and thinking her mother would allow them to run away.

"So I was serious when I told you that you didn't need to worry about Henry's father. He is long gone."

But not forgotten, Regina wanted to add but didn't. She knew that people who you loved always stayed with you, even after they hurt you, perhaps especially because they hurt you. The pain tied itself to the positive emotions and happy times forever darkening them, tinting memories and making them stand out.

Emma took the lull in conversation to ask, "What about your father?"

The blonde's question hit her hard. Regina knew now she should have walked away and was cursing her own curiosity. She didn't want to talk anymore, she wanted to lie down. Sleep was unlikely, this conversation had stirred up her emotions and her memories. She knew slipping away wouldn't come easily, but just to rest and not have to think about the past, that would be welcome.

"Emma, I'm tired and I don't think I can, not tonight."

Understanding eyes looked at hers, piercing into her and telling her it was ok. Emma rose and held out her hand which Regina grasped and allowed herself to be pulled up.

"I only asked because I care and if Henry has questions it helps if I understand."

"I believe you, it's just that my past is hard. I don't think I have learnt acceptance of it, just the more distance and years that pass the easier it is to not think about it every day."

"Maybe you should take the advice you gave Henry and go and see Dr Hopper?" Emma started walking them across the room to the cell and Regina's lumpy bed.

"Therapy is expensive and do you know who he was before the curse?" Regina quipped at her.

"Henry said he was Jiminy Cricket, was he?"

"Yes, his qualification is real, all be it awarded by a curse, but he isn't someone I want to open up to. Besides Therapy is expensive."

"You are worried about cost, living in that house and being the Mayor? I bet you've got pots of money."

"That's as maybe, but I don't wish to discuss my previous life with a cricket."

"Talking is free. Friends can be really good at listening. Or writing is considered by some to be as good as therapy, maybe you should start a diary and put all the things you struggle with in there."

"Emma I appreciate your enthusiasm, but do you think I've got friends growing on trees? My last friend disappeared and could have been murdered, it was only luck she turned up safe and well. Since then things haven't been exactly easy between us. And I don't think there is a diary big enough."

"You know your dark humour and sarcasm won't deter me? I'm a pretty good listener." She smiled and Regina was reminded of her determination. The determination she showed at the mines when Henry was in trouble, her grit and faith to fight a dragon to save her son. Her failure to believe what was in front of her eyes when Mary Margaret was accused of murder. If Emma cared about someone she gave everything, and Regina sensed she might be slipping into that category. It made her feel, well she actually wasn't sure what it made her feel.

She sat on the bunk and looked up into the face looking down at her. As Emma licked her lips Regina looked away. Lines had been crossed tonight, but then Regina thought back to their sexual history together and realised they had left the lines so far behind they were a blur in the distance.

She put her head in her hands and asked, "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, I'm dead on my feet, how about you?"

"Exhausted Miss Swan, but if you want I'll tell you a bedtime story."

"Okaaay" Emma drew out the word, staring confused at the older woman.

Without waiting, because she thought if she waited she might lose her nerve, Regina began her story.

"Long ago there was a dark wizard. He lived in the shadows and was manipulative and he owned a dark curse. He desperately wanted to unleash the curse, but he couldn't. He needed to manipulate someone else to do it for him. He spent his time while he waited for the right victim to cross his path teaching the dark arts and his favourite phrase when he was teaching was this: All magic comes with a price. And any great magic user will tell you the truth in that. Eventually the stars and moons aligned and a young girl with anger and sorrow in her heart fell into his line of sight. She was perfect for his scheming plan and he set about orchestrating his grandest plan, one where the curse would be cast and he got what he wanted."

Regina looked up to see if Emma was listening. She had stepped backwards and was leaning against the bars, but she was listening intently. Her gaze locked with the brunette's. In a voice that was barely more than a whisper Regina continued.

"It was a powerful curse and required great sacrifice. Do you know what price I paid to enact the darkest curse?"

Emma shook her head, despite the fact she already had an idea, Henry was named after Regina's father, and his death happened around the same time as The Dark Curse struck.

"I had to give up the thing I valued most. It was the Curse to end all Curses, it needed the greatest sacrifice. The only thing I had left that I loved was my Father. I took his heart from his chest and killed him to get my vengeance. That was always part of my desire to hold on to the curse, despite the fact that I wasn't happy during a lot of it. I didn't want to have lost my father in vain."

Regina smiled ruefully, she had long ago stopped crying tears for her father. He had been loved, and she mourned him, but she had come to accept her actions and that he was gone. His death wasn't the one that haunted her, not like Daniel's did. She supposed in some warped way she believed Daniel was innocent and didn't deserve death at her mother's hands. Her father on the other hand wasn't innocent. He had given in to Cora and allowed her to abuse everyone, staff and servants, even his own daughter. There was blame and anger hidden under her grief and she hated that she felt conflicted about her father. He had been a good man, he had just been weak. He was her most trusted confident and had loved her unconditionally. He had never asked anything of her and stood by her until the end. Regina felt something twist inside her, a clenching ache in her chest. She ignored it, securing her mask back on her face and continuing with the bedtime story come parody that was her life.

Disengaging so she was able to continue with more strength in her voice she said, "No one in this new realm had a happy ending, and the girl took no joy from that, the curse had failed her, it was a hollow victory. I guess part of that was that it wasn't her curse, it was Rumpelstiltskin's and he manipulated the stupid girl to casting it."

Regina hadn't notice Emma jump slightly at the admission of the Imp again being involved. She continued to speak, her voice soft and quiet as she finally told someone her deepest feelings all be it in a third person capacity.

"She was still lonely, more so without the love of her father, she had no-one in her life to share any of it with. Then came Henry, and he was loving boy and a distraction from the life that had become boring and mundane. He was the light and gave reason to a mundane existence, he let the girl believe she could be happy."

Regina smiled at Emma, a smile that held nothing, it was an imitation. Emma wanted to cover the distance between them, to hold Regina because she felt the vulnerability coming from the woman in waves. She had admitted to murdering her father and Emma didn't feel revulsion at that, she felt sympathy. It wasn't right but Emma believed the brunette when she said she had been twisted and moulded into her actions. And that she felt stupid for believing the dark wizard, disappointed in herself. Emma hated the Imp even more than she already did and her skin crawled knowing she still owed him a favour. She felt Regina's hurt and regret, both for the actions towards her father and in casting the curse. She had always assumed Regina fought so hard to push Emma out because she was happy and wanted to maintain the curse. This story seemed to indicate that wasn't true at all, Regina had been miserable but must have thought she was better off miserable with a curse than miserable without a curse. Judging from the town's reaction she may well have been right.

"Emma?"

Regina's voice bought her out of her musings.

"Sorry, just taking a moment to process." She smiled at the older woman. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to, I know this can't be easy."

What she meant was it must hurt like hell and if Regina couldn't find the words Emma understood.

The brunette shook her head. "No, I've started now, you deserve the whole story."

"So the young boy began to grow and the girl realised she could never be honest with him, or treat him as an equal, but he gave her life meaning and purpose and filled the darkness and loneliness with joy and laughter. She knew that it was only a temporary respite and as with everything the young girl valued eventually this slipped through her hands. When things began to deteriorate with Henry she felt all the happiness slide from her life and she knew she could never go back to being lonely, hiding in the darkness."

Emma locked eyes with the brunette, this was more honesty than she had ever seen. It scared her, because the atmosphere was heavy, charged between them. They both knew this was changing things between them. Regina licked her lips when she started to speak again and Emma was reminded how much she enjoyed the fullness of them pressed against her skin. The tension increased again as her voice dropped with emotion and Emma was reminded how they used to diffuse it.

"Emma, believe me when I say I know that doesn't excuse the things I did to you, but I was acting out of desperation." And fear, but Regina would never admit that out loud to anyone, it was weakness in a basic form and her upbringing reminded her that weakness was not to be tolerated. Vulnerability was always punished, there was never a good ending to exposing your feelings. Other people got their hearts ripped out, your desires got trampled and crushed to dust. And fear, showing your fear tended to anger your husband and make his frequently difficult nightly visits even harder.

As Emma starred the brunette disconnected and became lost in memories, she had fallen silent and Emma was left studying her face, waiting for her to come back from wherever she had immersed herself. Emma watched thinking how beautiful the woman looked, without make-up and just being herself. Realising Regina wasn't going to come back unless prompted, Emma spoke softly pulling the brunette back to the cell and the face looking at her with kindness and a sad smile.

"Thank you."

"What for?" The brunette quirked an eyebrow.

"For being honest, for explaining it to me. For opening up and beginning to let go of the hatred between us."

Regina felt awkward with the heavy nature of the conversation, the truths that had been told and the inferences she had allowed. Perhaps she should have waited until she felt 100% back to herself. That must have been why she had been more honest than she had intended, she was still unwell. She had bared her soul and The Mayor, The Queen, they didn't do that. She must still be concussed.

Satisfied with that explanation she tried to deflect the attention away from the things she had said. She used her standard arsenal of acerbic wit to try and place a kind of barrier back up between the two of them. She scoffed at the blonde, "Nonsense Miss Swan, there is still much hatred in our relationship."

Emma winked at her but allowed her the comment, letting the woman off the hook, "You keep telling yourself that Your Majesty. Now it's time for bed, shall I tuck you in?"

"I think I'm more than capable." Came the swift and clipped response. The banter was back, so was the woman Emma had spent months warring with.

Emma smiled. It had been an interesting evening. They would both need to go away and spend time analysing what had been said. She would allow Regina time to sleep and try not to ask intrusive and invading questions for a few days, she knew not to push her luck with the brunette woman. But she felt the breakthrough and hoped Regina wouldn't pull away completely. She was exhausted but pleased and she knew deep down in her heart that she had managed to put a chink in some of Regina's walls.

* * *

Snow had many words for the evening, interesting only touched a small segment of her feelings. She failed to have words that expressed the swirling, conflicting and confusing emotions inside her. She slipped away quietly, waiting until she stood on the sidewalk outside the building before she took a huge lungful of cold air and thought about her next move. She would tell Charming and then they needed to tread very carefully. She wanted to run back to her apartment, to Charming, to the security and familiarity of the warmth and the walls but decided a slow walk would help her think. And there was a lot of thinking to do.


	5. Coming Home

Hi, Another update.

Thank you for the reviews and hope I can upload at a reasonable pace and keep you all interested.

* * *

Regina sat in the police cruiser struggling not to be sick as Emma drove them towards her damaged house. She wasn't usually a passenger but when she had got cabs before she had never felt travel sick. She guessed her balance and equilibrium were still off from the bang she had taken to her head, she was still healing and she just hoped she could hold on to the contents of her stomach for a little longer.

Emma had warned her about the state her house was in, and that she'd do what she could to help once she had got some sleep and sorted out some of the issues with her parents and Henry. Regina smiled her politician's smile, now she was mobile and not so dependent on the woman she had no intention of calling and asking for help. She would go back to being the old Regina Mills and Emma would be the Sheriff and other mother to her son. Any bonding that had taken place over the last week she steadfastly intended to ignore and put down to her sickness. She would cope, as she always had done in the past, on her own. She was strong, single minded and would survive.

She had already had a strongly worded discussion about clothing with the Sheriff, who failed to understand why Regina wouldn't wear the sweat pants and t-shirt outside. She had refused to put the clothing on that morning, saying she didn't care that she would only be sitting in the police car and that no-one was likely to actually see her, that was still no reason she couldn't dress her best.

Emma had left and come back with a skirt, blouse, pantyhose and heels. None of it was high end, Regina couldn't remember the last time she had put on high street clothing rather than Prada, Gucci or Donna Karan. She guessed the blonde had probably never earned enough money to have heard of Dior, Armani, Versace, Louboutin or Jimmy Choo. That was probably overly harsh, Emma had probably heard of them but that was the extent of her knowledge.

Surprised that it was in the right size and that it wasn't the worse outfit she had ever seen, Regina guessed Emma was observant, and had used that quality to buy the right things. Regina shouldn't be surprised, Emma was the Sheriff and she grudgingly admitted, quite a good one, observation was a key requirement for the job. Emma had noticed the cut and styles and colours Regina tended to wear frequently, the blonde obviously had her own style and likes but wasn't completely useless. If she had been Regina would have ended up with skinny jeans and a tank top. She shuddered as she realised it could have been worse than that, had Emma asked her mother to help she dreaded to think what floral or hideously coloured outfit Snow could have presented her with. She nodded her thanks to Emma, this would do until she got home and back into her comfort zone.

Regina walked with her head held high down the pathway to her house. Her feet were screaming at her, her back was in agony and the grin on her face was so false and painted on if anyone had looked closely they'd see the clench of her jaw and that it resembled a grimace, the pain so close to the surface.

Regardless she walked up the few stairs to her porch and used the toe of her shoe to nudge rotting tomatoes out of her way. She pushed open her broken front door and only once she walked some distance into her home did she allow her shoulders to slump and her face to fall. She had of course seen the graffiti sprayed on her walls and front door from the car, seen the smashed windows from the outside so she shouldn't have been shocked at the level of violence and damage she was greeted with. The attackers had shown a blatant disregard for everything.

When walking up the path she had seen the missing shrubs and the maimed ones, and seen the holes and divets in the garden. The rotten fruit and vegetables were beginning to smell awfully and scent of them hung in the air of the house as well as being cloying and smothering outside. She hated the fact she couldn't secure her front door. She wanted desperately to use magic to repair the door so she could take comfort in hearing the latch click home and know she was safer but she had promised Henry. She also wanted to cast a protection spell on the walls and doors, but again, she didn't because she didn't want to disappoint her son. She swallowed down the feelings, she was scared someone might come back and continue where Emma had interrupted them last week and she felt vulnerable without her magic. The wind blew and a door banged somewhere above her and she visibly jumped, her heart hammering in her chest until she realised what had caused it and she was being stupid. There was no-one here except her, she needed to calm down and assess the situation, make a plan to move forward and organise like she was known for.

Taking a deep breath she decided to inventory what was left saving. She didn't think there would be much, she could see that once her broken body had been removed by the sheriff the anger that had been directed at her had instead been hurled full force at her house. She should be grateful they hadn't burned the mansion to the ground, just demolished anything they could lay their hands on. It was just now she had seen the destruction with her own eyes she suddenly felt so tired, almost too tired to care about trying to fix any of it now.

She just wanted to rest, but she didn't know where. Everywhere she looked were smashed ornaments, leaves had blown inside and dirty footprints covered her once clean floor and even some of the walls. There were bits of broken furniture, light fittings hung from the walls where they had been pulled out with force and she knew Emma had warned her, but it still shocked her looking at the mess her once beautiful home had been reduced to. She had been so proud, and now everything was broken.

Her feet ached so she kicked off her shoes, the heels had marked her feet and even as her bare feet touched the cool marble floor she didn't get much relief. She knew she couldn't traverse the house in bare feet, there was so much debris it was dangerous. She opened a closet and found a flat pair of loafers. She would never normally have considered them, but she didn't have much choice now. As she slid her feet in them she immediately missed the height her heels gave her and sighed. There were much more important things to deal with than her own vanity about being short. She climbed the stairs slowly, more pulling herself up from the banister than walking.

Getting to the top of the stairs the brunette looked into her parlour, the windows smashed and glass glittering on the carpet. The windows had been double glazed, but if you hate and hammer at them with enough force you could apparently smash through them. A larger glass shard kept shimmering in the morning light and Regina was sure it called to her. In her mind's eye she could see herself walking over to it and picking it up, turning it round in her hand, rubbing her thumb over a serrated edge, testing the sharpness. She saw herself placing the edge against the skin on her wrist and the bite as it sunk into the soft skin, blood blooming round the glass, red and bright.

She looked away quickly, she hadn't had thoughts like that for a long time.

She gave up the plan for saving anything as she walked shell shocked round her house. There was nothing left, nothing that hadn't been vandalised. She wanted to cry, to lock herself away and fall apart. She couldn't even do that, doors had been ripped from hinges and she realised that she couldn't secure herself behind anything solid. In her own bedroom the bedding had been slashed, the wardrobes emptied, she didn't know where the clothes had disappeared to but she now understood why Emma had dressed her as she had. Her old clothes were gone.

In the master bathroom someone had taken a sledge hammer to the porcelain, both the bath and the sink were unusable and there were puddles of water on the floor. She tried to turn on the taps and nothing happened, she would need to ask Emma but she guessed to stop flooding the water had been turned off at the main valve.

The only room left untouched was Henry's, his door had been pulled shut and as she cracked it open and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw his bed and furniture were intact. It felt empty and unlived in but it was still her son's space and she crossed to the bed and sunk into the mattress, laying back and covering her eyes with her arm.

She knew the door didn't have a lock and she wanted a bath but the relief at having somewhere to lay down that smelled of her son helped her feel safer. Her head was pounding and she stood to close the curtains to dim the light and hopefully ease the pain. As she looked out into the back yard she knew where her clothes were. There had been a large fire, bits of partially burnt furniture were strewn around and she saw melted remnants that were obviously her shoes. The fabrics had burnt easily, but the shoes had needed more heat and some had been left behind as warped and twisted reminders. Snatching at the curtains and yanking them closed she felt anger but underneath that, immense sadness. Anything she had left in this realm that she had valued had now been stripped from her and taken.

She collapsed on the bed and hugged her son's pillow to herself. At least she had Henry, she would work hard and hopefully she could still have a relationship with him. She told herself nothing else mattered, that it was all just tokens, items, physical things. They could be replaced. But she still cried for them, for herself, for the huge amount of work and energy she would need to expend to start to put things right and make her house into a liveable home again.

* * *

Emma drove away feeling uneasy about leaving Regina. The woman had been pale and quiet in the car. Emma felt guilty about taking her home to that house, the state it was in, but she didn't know what else to do with the woman. She couldn't bring her back to the loft, there wasn't the space even if she had been welcome. The lack of space was what had finally made up Emma's mind and she dreaded the next conversation she was going to have.

She realised she had slowed the cruiser down to a near crawl and quickly applied more pressure to the accelerator, pulling up far too quickly for her liking at the apartment. She knew she had avoided this for as long as she could and now she needed to be honest with her parents, explain what she wanted, listen to what they wanted in return.

Part of her hoped Mary Margaret was teaching at the school, Henry should be out, maybe she could explain to David she wanted to speak to them all together and that she was tired and she could sleep first. She was exhausted and she should probably sleep before she had such a serious conversation anyway.

She walked into the apartment to find the smiling faces of her two parents.

"Emma!" Her Mother greeted her warmly.

"Hi." She responded.

"Do you want a drink, coffee or hot chocolate?" Mary Margaret was fusing in the kitchen area and Emma pulled up a chair to sit at the breakfast bar.

"Hot chocolate please, no caffeine, I'm hoping to go to sleep after we've had a chance to talk."

Mary Margaret and David shared a look over the top of the blonde locks. David pulled a seat over and Mary Margaret set 3 cups down on the counter.

"What do you want to talk about?" David started with.

"I need to speak to Henry, but I'd like us to move out. The apartment was fine when it was just me and Mary Margaret, but with 3 adults and a kid it's a bit crowded. Plus I'm sure you and Mom want some privacy and some space of your own."

Emma rushed it out, but at least she had said it. She knew it wasn't going to be a popular decision and the silence that greeted her as what she had said sunk in with her parents confirmed that.

David was the first to respond, "Where were you thinking of moving to?"

"Not far, I still want to see you guys, spend as much time as possible together, bonding, getting to know you. I thought there might be an apartment downstairs, I know one of the dwarfs lived in it before the curse and wondered if they had all moved back in together?"

Mary Margaret nodded. "Happy was living there, I'll check with him. If it is available when wound you be going?" She was trying to hide her feelings but her voice sounded too cheery and fake and her hands were clasped tight around the mug of hot chocolate she held.

Emma knew her mother would take it badly, they had been living together for months and although most of that time had been as room mates rather than family, she knew the short haired brunette enjoyed seeing her daily and looking after her, cooking meals for both Emma and Henry. Emma suspected deep down there was some lingering doubt, a fear that Emma would be taken from her again and Mary Margaret wanted her nearby so she could keep a close eye on her.

"Soon, maybe a week. We won't be far, I still want to do family dinners and breakfast at Granny's. And you can take Henry overnight whenever you want, I know you love spending time with him and he will really miss you guys."

David nodded and Mary Margaret kept her eyes trained on the hot chocolate in the mug. It should have given Emma a clue what was coming when her mother failed to look at her, but the blonde had assumed she was upset and processing. When the pixie haired woman asked the next question Emma wanted to curl up inside.

"Emma what about Regina? She isn't safe. Are you really sure letting her see Henry is wise?"

"Regina is perfectly safe, she doesn't have a contagious disease. She is an unemployed woman who nearly got beaten to death and has had her house destroyed. She fought to keep her child and she still lost him, their relationship is tentatively rebuilding and you want me to step in and hurt them both by stopping it?"

"We know her better than you do Sweetheart. She can't be trusted, she hurts everyone."

"You knew The Queen, your Step-Mother. I don't think either of you knows who Regina actually is, the woman who grew over the last 28 years. She isn't the same. And whatever else she might have done, she loves Henry and they both need each other. Henry stabilises Regina and gives her something to be better for, we need to nurture that and support her. Without support and Henry she might lose her way and I don't want to see that happen."

"Emma" David started, "Your Mother and I, we have been talking about this. If we give Regina a chance, this will be her last chance. We won't tolerate her dark deeds and her hurting anyone again. Do you think that sounds fair?"

Emma ran her hand through her hair and thought. It was a better deal than she had hoped for. She knew there would still be animosity between her parents and Regina, but this at least meant her parents were prepared to try. Emma didn't know why they would do that and she was surprised and shocked but it was what she wanted so she nodded her agreement. She hoped Regina could behave and wouldn't antagonise anyone for a few days, if she set a good example then slowly her parents might believe she was worth this defence and trust.

"Emma, please be careful with her." Mary Margaret pleaded, catching Emma's eye and grasping her hand from across the counter.

"I will Mom." Emma was trying to placate and knew referring to the woman like that would help. "I promise not to eat any apples she gives me." Emma had tried for humour, to diffuse the situation, but it was obviously too soon as the colour instantly left her mother's face.

"Sorry" Emma muttered, "Bad joke."

She had a crookedly sheepish grin on her face as she stood. "I'm heading up to bed. I'll keep you both updated if there is any important news about Regina."

As she walked up the stairs she saw her father stand and wrap his arms round her mother and she clung to him like she had no strength left in her body. Watching the action caused guilt to settle in the pit of her stomach. They only wanted to look after her, they had missed her growing up and now wanted to keep her close. Was she being selfish wanting her own space? Or was it her fledgling relationship and the time she had spent with Regina that bothered them so? It didn't matter what the reason was, she was hurting them and it upset her. If she wasn't so tired she might have spent longer talking, but she knew she had to take care of herself and that there would be enough time later for conversation. It would just be a slow process and they would get a bit closer every day until she could call them Mom and Dad without any hesitation at the words. Emma was sure that time would come, now she had to find a way to explain it to Mary Margaret and David and to ask them to be patient.

* * *

Emma was running away, ignoring the situation at hand. She knew it was wrong but she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't stay in the apartment and look at the disappointment and hurt on her mother's face. She had woken up barely twenty minutes ago from a nap that had lasted most of the day and the atmosphere in the loft felt like it was suffocating her. She had quickly left the apartment, using checking on Regina as an excuse. Escaping the loft space with frightening speed she had driven to the mansion, she wouldn't have moved any quicker if the apartment had been on fire.

Pulling the car up outside the mansion she jumped out. She knocked on the frame of the door looking at the remnants of the wood hanging in the frame. She guessed knocking was pointless, she could just walk in if she wanted. Emma called out and still didn't hear anything so she stepped over the threshold and started climbing the stairs. She called out Regina's name again and stood still. Everything looked the same but she felt that there was someone in the house, it didn't feel quite as empty as it had when she had been there and checked the damage and turned off the water so the bathroom didn't flood.

As Emma looked through into the Den her mouth went dry. The fact the room was bare and that there was no furniture in it didn't even register. She only had eyes for the woman inhabiting it. Regina was in the sweat pants and some flat shoes, the t-shirt she claimed to hate was tied in a knot under her breasts and her hair was pulled away from her rosy face and tied up. It was so she could clean and stay cool, she had obviously been working steadily for quite sometime and had got hot and sweaty, her skin flushed with mild exertion. She was bent over with a dustpan and brush, sweeping up broken glass and bits of porcelain ornaments. Emma's eyes roved from the caramel skin of bare back on display to the tight material across the tight muscles in the brunette's ass.

Emma cleared her throat and watched Regina jump and her arms crossed over the bare skin of her abdomen.

"It looks much better in here, the floor is nearly clear. You've done well."

"Don't patronise me Miss Swan."

"I mean it, it can't have been easy to know where to start."

"I wanted to bathe first, but I don't have a bath or any water. And I am restricted what I can do without water to clean with."

"I turned the water off, the faucets upstairs were damaged and leaking."

The next words looked like they pained Regina, she was admitting a failure, a fault, "I don't know how to turn it back on, where is the main valve?"

"Why do you need to know that, can't you magic it back on, repair the bath and plumbing with magic?" Emma was confused, she never would have expected Regina to come back to a house with out heating, water or electric. She had assumed Regina would fix a bit at a time with her reduced magic. It would take time and be draining, but from what the brunette was saying was she hadn't done any of that.

"I promised Henry I wouldn't use magic, that I would try and be better. I agreed that I wouldn't hurt anyone to prove to him I was sorry."

"Regina." Emma looked straight at the other woman, meeting her eyes, "You are hurting yourself not using magic. Your door isn't secure, you can't wash and come night time you'll be really cold without a boiler for heating. It doesn't make sense, at the very least for hygiene, safety and security repair the front door and the bathroom."

"I promised Henry." Regina was resigned. She was holding herself upright and straight but Emma caught the lower voice and how the woman looked away, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Then I will speak to him, this is madness and you can't continue like it." Emma didn't wait for an answer, she had dug her phone out of her pocket and was dialing the number before Regina could tell her not to.

"Hey Kid." She greeted him.

"I need a favour." She continued.

Then Emma hummed into the phone, "You need to allow your Mom to use magic."

Regina was only hearing half of the conversation, but she could imagine Henry's indignation pouring through the phone into his blonde mother's ear.

"No, I understand why you don't want her using magic." Emma had scrunched up her face, "But trust me over this, she NEEDS to use magic. Not alot, but she can't repair the house without it."

Henry spoke animatedly, Regina heard muffled responses coming through the phone, the volume and speed her son spoke at had increased.

"Just for essential stuff, yes I understand and promise I'll monitor it. Yes Henry." Emma sounded like he was testing her patience, Regina guessed he was laying down lots of rules and guidance about the magical use.

She hung up and flashed a smile at the brunette, "Success!"

She watched the blonde drop her gaze and the brunette swore she felt the weight of the lingering look on her exposed skin of her stomach. She quickly reached up and undid the knot in the t-shirt, covering the exposed area. She pinned Emma with a glare and the blonde had the good grace to blush slightly.

"Shall we start with front door?" Emma quickly jumped into conversation before the silence could hang in the air and things would become awkward.

An hour later and Regina had managed to get the Sheriff to leave, but under the blonde's supervision she had repaired her bath, got running water and heating back, the boiler was fixed, and the front door shut and locked. She had asked Emma and she had agreed that when she had recharged her magic overnight she could cast a protection spell around the boundary of her house in the morning. She didn't elaborate on her fear that someone could back with murder in their heart and attack her while she was still weak, Emma had nodded to her suggestion without needing clarification on why she wanted to cast the spell.

Emma had allowed her to conjure night clothes and clean underwear for the morning and as she rested her head against the cool porcelain in the bath and the warm water soothed her aching muscles she began to feel a little more like herself. The water had turned a shade of pink and there were small flecks floating on the water that she knew were dried blood as this was the first complete body wash she had had since the attack. She drained the water and ran fresh so she could wash her hair and wasn't sitting in a stagnant pool of her own dirt, blood and sweat.

She had to be gentle rubbing her scalp, it was still tender to the touch and her body was still bruised even if they were fading to purple and yellow in places so she didn't dare scrub hard like she really wanted to. She didn't have complete mobility with her fingers, they still hurt as she flexed them, but she was much improved and felt clean as she left the bathroom and slipped into her soft, silk pyjamas. She had no other choice so had decided to sleep in Henry's bed as it was the only one in one piece.

As she pushed the door shut she felt the fear try and push up her throat. Her body shuddered in a shivering spasm as imaginary cold fingers caressed her spine. Without any real conscious thought she waved her hand and a lock appeared on the door and she heard the click as the bolt shot across and lodged itself snugly in the jamb. She staggered back and fell hard onto the mattress and quickly burrowed under the duvet, pulling it tight around her. She didn't think she'd be able to sleep, but as she lay still and after several minutes of deep silence where nothing shifted in her house, her body began to unwind and relax, and she did drift off as her drained and depleted body needed to rest and recharge.

* * *

It was a couple of days later and Emma got back to the apartment after a shift at the station and flopped onto the couch. Henry rolled his eyes at the poor posture and lack of grace his mother exhibited. He had grown up never being allowed to sit like that and it was on the tip of his tongue to correctively tell her to sit up straight. Instead he smirked and studied his blonde mother.

"What's up? You look tired."

"Just a long day Kid, the damn animals in Storybrooke don't know how to behave, cats in trees, dogs escaping from yards, and apparently demonic flocks of birds were upsetting Old Mother Hubbard. I should be coming home and packing up for our move, but not tonight, I'm done in."

"Mary Margaret has cooked dinner for us."

"Great." Food always made Emma feel better. She lay back into the upholstery and relaxed, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply smelling the homely scent of the dinner and spending a few minutes of calm before her mother called her to the table to set the places and eat.

Her good mood didn't last long because as she sat down she mentioned Regina.

"All I'm saying is she has a huge mountain to climb to get the house back on track. You could cut her a little slack and let her use magic."

"I said she could use magic for essential stuff, isn't that enough?" Henry pouted at his blonde mother.

"It's going to take her months, months of cleaning, sweeping, throwing out and repairing stuff. Just removing the eggs and rotting vegetables is going to take her a week, you've got to remember she still isn't 100 percent."

"She needs to learn, to remember why people did that to her, to suffer a little." Henry was firm with his words, they had a bite to them that emphasised he meant them.

Emma sucked in a breath. "Henry that's a little harsh."

"No it isn't. If I messed up you'd agree with grounding me, punishing me. She messed up and not just a little bit. This might be hard for her but this is her punishment. She needs to feel a little bit ordinary and work hard to put things right. And you said I'm allowed to be angry at her, that anger was healthy. So yes I'm angry at her and think she deserves this a little bit." He quirked his eyebrow in a gesture that was all his brunette mother, inviting Emma to respond.

Emma couldn't fault his logic, it scared her a little that he was so like them both, a perfect mix of methodical that was so like Regina and then he had Emma's frankness on top. He had laid out his argument with skill and consideration. And his blunt honesty, that was all her. What she had referred to as harsh was just him opening his mouth without any filter and she was guilty of doing that and putting her foot in it in many a delicate situation.

"Well maybe if you go and visit her tomorrow, you could tell her what you consider essentials might be? She is worried she might do something you don't think is ok and that you won't speak to her again."

"You've been monitoring her magic use, what has she used magic for so far?"

"Well I think she is weak and hasn't got proper control over her magic, but she fixed the front door so it locks and the bath so she can wash. She has attached some of the lamps back to the walls so she can see in the dark. She fixed the boiler so she has hot water and repaired the smashed cooker door and hobs so she can eat."

"What else is there that she can't do without hard work?"

"Well no-one will come to her house to repair anything, so the windows are still smashed. She hasn't got any clothes except the stuff I bought for her and she is sleeping in your bed because it was the only one not ripped apart. She is eating off of paper plates because no-one will sell her anything and all the crockery was smashed. It's just hard for her Kid."

Henry looked at his grandparents. "Can you talk to people and get them to sell her the stuff she needs? She's got loads of money, she'll pay them well. Could you ask them to work on her house and repair it? Everyone looks up to you, you're Snow White and Prince Charming, if you told them to forgive and accept her they eventually would."

Snow looked at her grandson. "Henry it isn't that easy. You can't tell people to forgive, that has to come from inside them. We can help spread the word she isn't using magic and she is trying and that we support her new approach, but that might not be enough to sway people. They are still angry at her, they still hate her. Somethings are bigger than money, you can't just throw cash at a problem and always expect it to go away. She couldn't buy your love when you were upset with her, could she? No amount of video games and comics helped you feel better or want to be with her."

Henry sat quietly and thoughtfully. Emma knew he was trying to come up with a solution, he believed the best in people - with the exception of his brunette mother - and hadn't realised they wouldn't help. Emma wondered if Henry actually understood how close Regina had come to dying at the hands of the townsfolk. She thought probably not, his childish brain couldn't comprehend the level of hatred or that people he knew and had grown up around could kill with their bare hands.

They passed the rest of the dinner in relative silence, because Henry was struggling to come up with any ideas and Snow, Charming and Emma already knew it was a pointless endeavour. It pleased Emma that Henry spent the time thinking about the problem, about a way to help his brunette mother. He did care and his earlier outburst had been just that, an angry outburst. If there was something that could be done Emma knew her son was resourceful and thought outside of the box, had determination and hope in equal measure and was the person most likely to find it. It was just a shame she was almost certain he was wasting his time, the town would not help Regina, no matter what Henry did or said.


	6. Drunken Friends

Hello to the Followers and the faithful who are watching this story develop.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, it isn't quite as heavy as the others but is definitely marked mature just in case.

Enjoy the read!

* * *

Henry being the believer he was went back to the story book for inspiration. He re-read the stories until he had worked out who best to approach about his brunette mother's predicament.

He ended up picking King George because was greedy and had no qualms helping the fallen queen, both before and after the curse. He would help whoever it was in his best interests to, and if he could profit from someone else misery and misfortune he had no moral compass and embraced it.

When the curse had been cast George was still King, and now the curse was over he became king again. He only had a few subjects but they were loyal and begrudgingly agreed once King George issued the royal decree that they would help to repair the mansion.

Henry had acted as go between and negotiated between all the parties. His brunette mother had not taken to it well. She knew what a reasonable cost would be and she was not being charged that. On top Henry had agreed King George could take a 50% negotiation fee, so she was paying nearly triple what the going rate was.

As Henry kept telling her, it was only money and clean, weather tight windows and safe electrics were worth it. She would have to stomach paying the money, she needed these people and she should be grateful they had agreed to give up their time to help her.

And realistically she was grateful. Not for the help of the peasants, she still found them repugnant and would rather have used magic if she had the choice. She was grateful for her son who had found a solution to the problem, he hadn't given up on her and she could sense the love in his actions, even though he still sometimes struggled to call her Mom and he had yet to give her any idea when he might come and stay or move back in with her.

At least the house was soon to be finished and much more habitable, so if he did come home he'd could do so safely and go in almost all the rooms of the house. She had replaced the electrical items in the kitchen, a new fridge, kettle, toaster, microwave and freezer had cost her a small fortune, and all the while King George smiled collecting his 50% as she stewed about it. But it needed to be done as an axe appeared to have been taken to all the cupboards and appliances. It meant she could cook proper food for herself and Henry, and she took full advantage when he visited spoiling him with his favourites.

Replacing the crockery, mirrors, picture frames, and furniture like couches and her bed had also taken a huge chunk of money and that was even before the repairs to the main building had been factored in. But, as she sighed, at least the house was now much neater and cleaner, it was weather proof as the windows and doors had been replaced or repaired and she could see an end to the disruption that had become her life.

She just wanted her space back, to be left alone and to not have to be polite and pleasant to all the peasants. She knew they were only helping because they had been forced to and were profiting greatly from it, she failed to see why she had to then feed them biscuits and cups of tea. She was certain if they had been in the Enchanted Forest tea-breaks would not have been tolerated, that was definitely a custom from this world they had adopted. But she smiled the forced and uncomfortable smile that was obviously fake at the builders and window fitters and paid them extra money to buy their own tea and biscuits – naturally none of them trusted her to make them tea.

She hadn't been able to manage the work, it was made clear her input was not welcome and that she should stay out of the way. So she had got on with tasks she could do. She had cleaned rotten eggs and mouldy vegetables from the exterior of the house, she had scrubbed and scoured at floors and surfaces inside and even painted the new doors and the repaired plaster boarding on the walls.

It hadn't been easy and Henry knew it, but he also knew she had rolled up her sleeves and got on, she hadn't used magic. When he left her in the evenings, going home with Emma but full up with her home cooked meals, he'd smile at her and she felt the warmth and stirrings of trust and pride in his open face. She was able to smile back with genuine emotion. She still felt unsettled late at night and it took her many hours to fall asleep but knowing her son was letting go of his anger and could be comfortable in her presence meant all the struggles might be worth it in the end.

* * *

Regina had had a few sleepless nights, just recently her fear about the empty house and not being able to practice magic had cranked up a notch. The brunette had hoped with time that the anxiety immediately following the attack would ebb, it wouldn't be as consuming. But at times she was still engulfed with panic and cold fear clenched round her heart. This evening was one such time and Regina didn't think she'd ever been so pleased to see the blonde pull up on her driveway in the yellow death-trap.

Not staying long, Emma had just come to see how things were progressing, Regina felt sick as she turned to leave and she would be left alone again. Emma picked up on the discomfort of the other woman and studied her face closely as she pulled open the front door to leave.

 _Don't make me say it_ , Regina thought, desperately hoping things between her and Emma had reached the point where the blonde didn't thrive on humiliating the brunette further.

She couldn't fathom why she was scared about staying in her house, but even with the protection spell and the locks and the repairs, it still failed to feel safe, it didn't feel like home. She had cleaned and piled broken furniture and rumble outside in her back yard until she could no longer see the grass. She had made several rooms habitable and was even quite pleased with the results but it didn't change things. She struggled constantly to maintain her control over her emotions and not cry when she found another of Henry's handmade presents he had proudly brought home from school when he was younger and given so easily to her smashed. She tried to get used to the loneliness and the empty feel of the house and she had tried to block out the strange sounds she kept hearing late at night that kept her awake.

Emma sensed Regina's nervousness and the unspoken question that hung in the air.

"Henry's staying at his grandparent's tonight" Emma began and watched warmth flood to the brunette's features.

"Do you fancy coming over and having a few drinks with me? I could use the company, Henry's great and all, but sometimes it's nice to have another adult to communicate with."

And there was the difference between them. Emma could admit she needed people, wanted company. Regina was so scared of rejection she couldn't have opened her mouth if she had wanted to, and she did want to but she would never have been able to find the words. She desperately wanted a reason to leave her house and jumped on the opportunity Emma had given her.

"Another adult Miss Swan? That would indicate you were an adult in the first place, not just a fully grown child. But as long as you have liquor, I suppose an evening with you should be bearable." She hoped the sarcasm covered the need in her voice.

 _Thank god_ , she thought as she grabbed her coat and walked with the blonde down the path and onto the sidewalk. Emma may be many things to Regina, some good and some bad, but tonight she had stepped up and been dependable and selfless and when Regina smiled at her it was with genuine warmth and gratitude.

* * *

It was a bizarre night, Emma guessed she shouldn't have been surprised. When she had offered a night of drinking at her apartment she hadn't really thought it through. All she had seen was the fear and sadness seeping out from a tired face and she wanted to try and help. Her noble, some might say charming, character and soft heart wanting to bring some peace to the obviously lonely woman.

They had started awkwardly, Emma drinking her beer too quickly and not making much conversation until Regina had stood and told her that maybe this was a mistake.

"I'm sorry." She was quick to apologise, "I've been an awful hostess, and I just don't know what to talk about. Apart from Henry I don't know what we have in common and I guess I'm a little nervous."

"Why ever are you nervous Miss Swan?"

"Because we have never really talked much, except those long days and even longer nights at the station and I'm pretty sure you don't want to talk about anything we might have touched on then."

"We do have common ground you know." The brunette started. "Your Mother, your Father. I know most of the tales about your family, from your nefarious Uncle and his many conquests to the truth about how your god mother got her name "Red". I could tell you tales about The Enchanted Forest if you'd like, or stories about Henry when he was young."

"I don't think you should be telling me stories about my mother, that doesn't seem right."

"Well how about this then, once upon a time there was a spoilt princess, she was idolised by her idiot father. She lived in the biggest castle in the land and ran around all day doing exactly as she wished."

"I still think we might be talking about my Mother here." Emma sighed exasperatedly.

"You just want to spoil my fun Miss Swan."

"Tell me about my Uncle then, was that David's brother?"

"Charming's twin brother actually. And he was identical in looks but the complete opposite than your father. Whatever else I think of your father, I believe him to be faithful to Snow, your Uncle on the other hand had a different woman warm his bed every night. I still can't understand why, because from all the rumours he was a selfish lover. I guess some women just wanted to say they had bedded a Prince, others naively thought they might be the one to change him and make him settle down. It wouldn't surprise me if he had several bastard children and you had cousins you didn't know of."

"I think if we are going to start talking about my family's sexual prowess I'm going to need another drink." Emma stood and crossed to the fridge.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable Emma, I'm sorry. I was just musing out loud, I shall refrain from telling you of his sexual exploits, perhaps you'd like to hear about him climbing the beanstalk instead?"

And so the ice was broken, and they managed to spend the evening swapping stories, some humorous and Emma was certain some of them were definitely about her mother despite Regina's stubborn defence that there were "many spoilt Princesses back in our land."

She found herself laughing about King Midas and his affliction, because the way Regina told it was amusing. He had turned his daughter's lover and suitor to gold by accident and never batted an eyelid. However when his prized pet, a huge ginger cat, that everyone else hated had accidently jumped into his lap and immediately become the most valuable cat in existence as it turned into a solid lump of metal the ridiculous man had declared 3 days of mourning in his kingdom. Emma had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

When Regina added that, "At the telling of the tale your mother had been horrified about the suffering of the poor animal and had run off in tears she was so distraught." Emma had just laughed harder. It probably had to do with the 12 pack of beer she was rapidly drinking her way through. Regina had started on the second bottle of red wine and was mixing in shots of whiskey because she claimed it was "more fun". Consequently they were both a little tipsy.

It was close to midnight when Emma looked at the clock. She was shocked to find how late it was and how much she had enjoyed herself. She let her eyes trail over to the brunette. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling. Emma thought she looked more alive than she had seen her in a very long time. Probably since they had stopped sharing a bed. She looked away guiltily as a memory of Regina coming hard against her mouth entered her head, her face had been equally flushed then, but for a completely different reason.

Regina pulled her back from those thoughts as she uttered in a voice that was too loud for the quiet apartment, "This is your fault Miss Swan. I might have consumed too much drink." she slurred while attempting to get up from the sofa. After the third failure and ending back on her backside again Regina looked at the sofa like it was moving and that it was the furniture's fault she couldn't stay on her feet.

Emma stifled her laughter at the display she was witnessing. In Regina's drunkenly hazy view it was not her fault she couldn't find her feet and although she knew she'd had too much to drink she failed to work out the connection.

"Stupid sofa" she muttered, "Even the furniture hates me in Storybrooke" she said with a pout. One Emma wanted to kiss away.

Emma rolled her eyes and tried not to stare at the plump lips. Regina moved to kick off her heels to give her more stability when standing and the motion pulled Emma's eyes down to her legs, the muscled calf flexing was making Emma's mouth dry and her stomach flood in a warm clenching.

An outsider would have watched the exchange and laughed, it was like the 2 of them had swapped places, Regina now acting like a child and Emma trying to be the adult, all be it a horny and aroused adult. Emma got to her feet to pull Regina up just as the brunette managed to escape the "Evil clutches" of the sofa, staggering forward into her. The blonde managed to keep her balance and steadied Regina as they held onto one another.

"Little Wee-Gina you're drunk." Emma stretched out the syllables of the mocking parody of the brunette's name. Emma had whispered into the brunette's ear, realising without her heels the brunette was actually quite short. Emma had to lean into Regina's space, her hand absent mindedly tucking dark locks behind an ear and her finger tips trailing over a cheekbone and then down the smooth skin of her neck before Emma caught herself. She inhaled the smell of the woman's shampoo from her hair, and had to resist the silly temptation to rest her chin on the top of Regina's head and making another sarcastic quip about pint sized Evil Queens. She knew the brunette would most likely react badly to that, there could be kicking or worse, despite her agreement with Henry she could magic all the alcohol away with her in a huff.

"Don't do that with my name Miss Swan. It sounds awful. Regina is a regal name, say it properly." The Ex-Queen pulled away from Emma and locked eyes with her.

"I'm just having some drunken fun. How about Gina?" Emma felt like poking her tongue out at the other woman, she was having fun watching Regina screw up her face in displeasure.

"No, no, no." The pout was back. "I am not a Gina. It sounds like trailer park trash." There was an exaggerated head shake accompanying the words and Emma stifled more laughter.

Emma got caught up in the moment of teasing the older woman, "I think it sounds cute."

"You are drunk, anything probably sounds good to you." was the brunette's response as she rolled her eyes. "Now get your hands off me, I'm perfectly capable of walking, I don't need you to be my saviour from your possessed upholstery." Regina said with a self-confident air.

Emma moved back from her, allowing her the space to wander away but was still able to hear the comment, "Who has enchanted the floor? I thought I was the only one with magic here?" as Regina weaved around the room visibly swaying.

Emma couldn't help herself and giggled like a small child. Regina was right, she was drunk too, but she didn't think inanimate objects were dancing and undulating yet. She wasn't _that_ drunk.

"Gina, where are you going?" Emma called, suddenly realising Regina wasn't going to the fridge or the top shelf in the kitchen for more alcohol.

"Bathroom and bed." The answer was thrown back over her shoulder with a glare that could have burnt a hole through Emma for the use of the shortened name. Emma found her eyes glued to the swaying hips as the brunette slowly negotiated her way across the room towards the stairs.

"No, no, no – not the stairs Regina." Emma realised the brunette was in no shape to manage those on her own and then it dawned on her, "And we're at MY apartment, MY bed. Are you planning on sleeping there?"

"As you so eloquently put it Miss Swan, I am drunk. I need to go to bed now, even if it is yours." Regina replied.

Emma had assumed Regina would walk herself home or get a cab, that she would be just drunk enough to take the edge off her fear so she could sleep easily. Emma could suggest Regina use magic to get home but decided not to mention that. This situation probably wasn't going to be something Henry thought was "essential" for magic use and Emma didn't want to have to explain to him her involvement in getting his other mother this drunk. Being lectured on how irresponsible this behaviour was by a child wasn't high on Emma's list of things she wanted to experience. There was also the problem of who knew where Regina might end up poofing herself to in this state. Part of her thought it could end up being quite funny, but the sensible side of her, The Sheriff and Mother to Henry had to be a grown up at this moment. It was more important than ever she sober up a little as she seemed to have inherited a child to look after in the form of drunken Regina.

"And where am I meant to sleep?" Emma queried, although it wouldn't be the first time she had passed out drunk with friends and shared a bed, but those friends were not Regina, the Ex-Mayor, and one of the most dignified people Emma knew. Ok, so they had shared a bed in the past but it wasn't in the platonic sense and Emma didn't think the hungover brunette would appreciate waking up next to her in the morning. Regina wouldn't think it was appropriate, throughout all their previous encounters Emma had never stayed the whole night and Emma did have reservations about her own self-control and whether she'd be able to keep her hands to herself. Sharing a bed was just a bad idea from all angles. Throw in Regina's magic and bad temper and the consequences could end up being awful for Emma, if it went badly and she hogged the covers or accidently kicked in the night she could likely find herself being fireballed if Regina woke with a headache or memory loss.

"I assume you have a double bed, Miss Swan? So with me if you like." Regina shot Emma a look that Emma tried to tell herself wasn't an invitation.

"Yeah it's a double, but really, you want to slum it with the peasants?" Emma tried to laugh off her uncomfortable feeling, because part of her mind had immediately jumped to thoughts of being in bed with Regina, the way it had been before, the heat and the passion. The other part was quickly pushing the images as far away as possible. She couldn't go down that road, they were trying to be civil and build something for Henry's sake. Falling back into bed wasn't going to help them.

"Really Emma, you are actually a princess, not a peasant, although I doubt your bedding will be quite what I am used to, I am prepared to make do."

"Uh, yeah, well I guess I can always sleep on the sofa, if that suits you better?"

Emma was panicking, rambling so she didn't say what was really on her mind. She did have to wonder what she was doing, giving up your bed to Regina without a fight, offering to sleep downstairs in her own flat. _What is this craziness?_ Her mind was trying to scream at her. You are putting her comfort before your own, she would not do the same for you. No, she argued with herself, I am just being a good friend. Yes, a good friend, that's it. Nothing other than friendship is going on here. And I'm definitely not thinking about my sheets wrapped round her tight, lithe, and beautiful body, or how my pillow is going to smell tomorrow night. No, no, no, those are all bad, bad thoughts. She wanted to poison me, think about that. But god Emma found it hard to concentrate on anything other than the dark eyes watching her from across the room.

"I'm sure the sofa is fine, despite the fact it seems to be possessed." Regina quipped back at her, "not lumpy, cold and unappealing."

Emma couldn't help herself, she had fallen into the playful banter they sometimes shared, when no-one else was around and she knew Regina would let her push the boundaries between them. She met the brunette's gaze and they both pretended the tension didn't go up a notch in the room. They both ignored the lust and desire that was beginning to shine in their eyes. "Leave my poor sofa alone, it is perfectly comfortable. You have been sitting on it all night without complaint. And it will be perfectly appealing, unless you know or a reason why my bed will be more appealing?"

"Well I assume it isn't lumpy, it won't be cold because there will be more blankets and covers and oh yes, I'll be in it so it's be nice and warm and _very_ appealing" Regina dropped her voice and winked at Emma, sending a ripple through the tension in the room that settled as a fluttering deep in Emma's stomach.

Emma knew she was less than sober because she had to think much more about her responses. Her mind was trying to say things unfiltered, and they weren't appropriate. Regina's drunk and flirting a bit with me and that's ok because I am flirting a little back but I need to stop this. I need... Regina, you need Regina, you need to feel her hands and her mouth on your skin. No, that wasn't what she meant and she had to ignore that thought. I need to get her upstairs and get her to bed... Oh yes, the devious and naughty part of her brain was rejoicing. Get her into bed so you can take her hard and fast. Emma wanted the thoughts to stop tormenting her, she needed to think clearly. If I can get her upstairs and into the bed I can tuck her in and she can sleep this off. There will be no bed sharing, no fantastic sex and definitely no chance she'll be screaming my name as she comes. _Oh really?_ That dark little part of her mind was laughing at her for her steadfast denial of what she really wanted to happen with the older woman. Shaking her head Emma tried to convince herself that could resist the brunette's advances and that everything will be ok in the morning when we can laugh about how drunk we were.

Emma had made up her mind, deciding to ignore Regina's comments she crossed the room and put her arm around Regina's waist, saying, "Here, let me help you" and together they climbed the stairs carefully and safely.

"I don't need your help with the stairs, Miss Swan." but she leaned heavily into Emma, who moved her arm around Regina's shoulders and pulled her into her body. _She fits perfectly_ , Emma thought and then shook her head. _Damn it, I'm obviously drunk too and letting my mind wander dangerously here_. Emma bit her lip from voicing anymore of her unhelpful comments. She felt the burning desire to ask the innuendo filled question – If not the stairs, what can I help you with? Instead she picked the safe route, skirting any flirty remarks.

"Miss Swan, huh? After a night of drinking together, you can't call me Emma?"

"It's your name." The brunette answered levelly.

"So is Emma, Your Majesty." _And I don't care which you scream as you come_ , her brain that didn't seem to be able to get out of the gutter insisted on adding.

"I like it when you call me that," she whispered quietly and huskily, Emma would have missed it if she hadn't had the woman pressed into her side.

Emma felt the hair on her arms lift into goose bumps, a chill go down her spine and she felt her nipples get a bit perky at the seductive tone Regina had used.

Emma's mind was going into overdrive. Part of her was screaming that she needed to get a grip and calm her rapidly heating body down. She needed to remember this is Regina, your son's other mother, the woman you spent months arguing and fighting with when you first arrived. And Regina's drunk, she's wound so tight normally that when she is drunk and lets go she probably gets like this with everyone. Even Emma in her partially inebriated state knew that one wasn't going to fly. Regina didn't have anyone, let alone everyone to get drunk with. And she'd certainly never let her walls down with anyone else in Storybrooke. So why is she here with you now? Does that mean this is something?

"Oh I'm too drunk to be thinking any of this." Emma said out loud and felt a confused Regina poke her.

"What did you just say?" The brunette stopped on the stairs and looked up into Emma's face, licking her lips and Emma felt her self-control slip even further.

"Oh, um….. Just thinking out loud, sorry." Emma mumbled as she led Regina to the bathroom and opened the door with a flourish.

"One bathroom as requested, Your Majesty" and Emma tipped a wink, while silently berating herself for her corny and stupid behaviour. Her hand glided down Regina's side and into the small of her back and gently pushed her into the room closing the door behind her. Emma then immediately turned round and leaned her own weight against the closed door and took a breath. Her fingers felt electric from the touch she had just shared and she could feel the hot rush from her increased heartbeat.

She wanted to bang her head backwards into the wood of the door because all she could think of was the brunette and maybe the motion would remove the confusing thoughts. She kept telling _herself I am not going to act on my attraction to Regina. I need to be strong here. I've had too much to drink and it is clouding my judgement, that's what this is. That and the fact that Regina is smoking hot and going to be sleeping in my bed._

"Damn it." Emma was getting frustrated at herself because she knew her emotions and desires were getting out of hand. It was time to sleep on the couch tonight and address the issues when she was sober in the morning.

Because she was obviously incapable of doing what was good for her, she thought back to a flippant remark she had made jokingly to Ruby when she had first moved to Storybrooke many months ago. It suddenly came floating back to her, a disconnected sentence about the Mayor, "God she is stunning, you wouldn't kick her out of bed in the morning."

That was when Emma had only been looking at the woman's figure and before she had got to see the twisted and angry persona that inhabited the silky soft curves. But even with the hatred between them and Emma finding out about the brunette's harsh and unattractive personality they had still ended up in bed with each other. Emma knew it was a physical thing, mutually satisfying, and yet she had been doing so well avoiding thinking about their sexual history for the last few weeks.

Henry, her parents and moving out had taken up her time and she had lost the connection she had built with the brunette while she had been her care giver. As the weeks went by Emma realised the walls Regina lived behind had gone back up and the softer person she had witnessed in the Sheriff's Station had retreated into herself. There was a glimpse of that vulnerable person in the brunette's features tonight and Emma was scared what would happen if she went to bed with her now.

She was also scared what would happen if she did the honourable thing and didn't go to bed with her. The thoughts were too much, she needed a distraction _. Hide from the decision, oh yes, typical Emma Swan avoidance, that was the best plan of action here_. She pushed herself away from the bathroom door and went to tidy her room, making it fit for a queen, or at least making the bed was a start.

Regina's voice pulled her away fro her hasty tidying.

"Emma, will you come to bed with me?" Regina reached out to her as she stood leaning in the doorway.

"You might want to re-phrase that Regina," Emma laughed, "that could be taken the wrong way you know." while she tried to stop the blush spreading on her cheeks and failed to make eye contact with the brunette.

"I might be drunk, Emma" Regina said, moving to link her hand with Emma's, "but I don't want to re-phase the question." and with her free hand Regina placed her fingers under Emma's chin and tipped her head up so she could look into her eyes.

Emma's heart skipped a beat in her chest, and then went into overdrive to catch it back up. "Regina….." Emma voiced a warning, Regina was in her personal space, pulling her towards her bed, she had to stop this, it was too much, and going too far. The self-control she was grimly hanging on to was wavering with each step.

Emma knew Regina would regret this in the morning. This wasn't the heated sex from before, this felt different. Maybe it was because they were getting along, they had a tentative friendship, and Emma had enjoyed Regina's company tonight. Emma knew that friends didn't do this, it could damage what they had built over the last few weeks. Well not friends in their thirties, they weren't stupid hormonal teenagers with youth and naivety as an excuse. She suddenly wished for an excuse, anything that would let her fall into bed with the older woman guilt free.

But there was nothing, no excuses. All Emma knew was that friends or even good people, didn't take advantage of vulnerable people, which included drunk Ex-Queens. Emma knew she was less drunk and thought this would definitely be classed as taking advantage of the brunette's alcohol fuelled lapse in judgement.

"Regina stop" Emma blurted, pulling her hand away.

A hurt look washed across Regina's face and she whispered out, "Why?"

Emma hated that look and hated knowing she had put it there so she stepped forward and pulled Regina into her body in an embrace. It also meant she didn't have to look at Regina's face while she spoke, "Regina you've had too much to drink, you thought the furniture was attacking you downstairs" Emma began, trying to make light of the situation, but Regina pulled away from her.

"I'm not that drunk that I don't know what I want" Regina said, "Don't you want it too? Did I mis-read how your body reacted to mine on the stairs, the flirting, and the downright predatory look in your eyes when I brought up sleeping in your bed?"

"No Regina, you didn't mis-read anything and I want you more than anything right now" Emma whispered, "But I can't take advantage of you, it isn't right, you'd regret it in the morning" And Emma looked away so Regina couldn't see how hard Emma was struggling for self-control.

"Why can't we have sex like we did before Emma? You didn't hesitate then." Regina might have tried for control and authority, but she had sounded like a petulant child to Emma. Regina didn't like being told no, and drunken Regina definitely didn't like it.

"Because it isn't like it was before. Before I just thought you were a scared and angry parent protecting their child and it was just a physical thing, just sex. It was wrong, but I was single, so were you and as long as no-one found out it was just another dirty secret I had. Now I know you cursed everyone and tried to poison me, there is Henry and my parents to consider and I don't think aggressive hate sex is good for either of us after the things we both admitted during our bonding in the station." Emma held up her hand and wanted to pull the woman back to her as Regina stepped away from her at the harsh and blunt words falling from her mouth.

Emma looked at the ceiling, perhaps hoping for inspiration to help her word this correctly because so far she was doing the worst job. "Regina, god this is so hard..." She trailed off not being able to communicate everything or even anything she felt.

"Tell me why it is hard." Regina looked at her sadly, not understanding the rejection and Emma so wanted to make it better, to find the words.

"Because...because, fuck!" And Emma moved across the room and captured the brunette's lips in a kiss she knew she should never be indulging in. And Regina returned it, deepening things as tongues duelled and Emma moaned as Regina pulled her flush against her.

"I want you. So badly." Emma whispered into the crook of the brunette's neck as she pulled her lips away and breathed heavily.

"Then take me. Don't think, don't hesitate, don't be so noble."

"I can't, I'm sorry Regina. It just isn't right."

Emma turned in the doorway and quickly whispered, "Goodnight." and with tears shining visibly in her eyes Emma bolted from the room.

Regina sat down on the bed and debated following the woman, but decided against it. Emma was sending really mixed signals but Regina had picked up that something was blocking Emma's wish to act on her desire. She had felt the unrestrained passion in the kiss, knew Emma hadn't lied about wanting her. The annoying blonde had just got spooked and run as she was prone to do. Regina understood the blonde didn't do well when confronted and pushed, when there was expectation placed on her shoulders. Had the expectation to perform now the dynamic of their situation had change upset the woman? Regina didn't think so, sex with Emma would always be good for both of them, something else troubled her blonde almost lover. Pushing her now might just make things worse and Regina was drunk, it might be better to wait until the morning.

She flopped back onto the bed and punched the pillow in frustration. She had really wanted the other woman too, so now they were both aroused with no opportunity for release. She ground her teeth and tried to calm her heartbeat and ignore the heat and dampness she felt between her legs. She felt the pulsing throughout her body when she crossed her legs and tensed her thighs and her clit that was crying for attention. She rolled over and wondered briefly about touching herself, but she wasn't in her own bed and she probably couldn't have been quiet about it. She would have to find a way to go to sleep like this, however frustrating it was.


	7. Moving Forward

Hi Everyone, my apologies for the long absence. Things at work have been crazy and unfortunately I am not paid there to write fanfiction!

I have a few chapters mostly written so I aim to get them up and online in the next few days, so there will be some movement on the story soon.

All the best, hope everyone had a good Xmas and New Year and are back into the swing of things now.

Enjoy.

* * *

Emma woke still exhausted to the sound of a key being turned in the lock. It felt like she had only been asleep a matter of minutes, although she guessed it could have been a few hours if she was lucky. The damned woman asleep in her bed had been right, the couch was lumpy and uncomfortable and when you were frustrated and upset like Emma was, sleep didn't come easy.

If she had been alone she would have gone for a run to clear her head, or at least try and analyse why everything she said or did around Regina was going badly. Emma felt every time she opened her mouth or tried to do something nice it ended up going or feeling wrong. Last night she had invited Regina with good intentions and yet somehow they were both left feeling frustrated and annoyed.

Ultimately Emma hadn't gone for a run, she didn't think she could leave Regina alone in her flat. It wasn't that she didn't trust the brunette to be alone in her space, she just didn't think it was acceptable to invite someone over and then leave them while you went out. Of course it also wasn't acceptable to invite lonely and vulnerable women home with you, get them drunk and then try and jump them. Before the guilt and confusion could take root too deeply at this early hour of the morning Emma propped herself on her arms and lifted her head to see which of her family was coming through the door.

She cracked open a sticky eye that felt unbelievably heavy and watched from the couch as her son sneaked into the kitchen and grabbed the box of Fruit Loops. He was on the way back out the door when he noticed her watching him.

Shock registered on his face at seeing his mother on the couch instead of in bed. "Hi" He quickly greeted and shook the box of coloured breakfast cereal at her. "Grandma doesn't have Fruit Loops upstairs."

"Uh uh." Emma's mouth was dry and she was half naked under the blanket because she had failed to grab any other clothes before hastily escaping from her bedroom last night. She had stripped down to bra and panties thinking it would be fine, she didn't need any pyjamas. Unconsciously she pulled the blanket tighter.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch, did you fall asleep watching TV again?" Henry was watching her and Emma knew he'd sense a lie so she told him a very basic version of the truth.

"Your Mom stayed the night and I gave her my bed." Emma's voice sounded rough from lack of sleep and she tried to clear her throat, her mouth felt furry as she hadn't brushed her teeth and she knew she probably didn't look amazing but Henry held her gaze and seemed happy enough with the explanation before replying, "Oh, cool. Did you have fun?"

"Yes we did." Emma answered, thinking it was really good fun, before she had ruined a perfectly pleasant evening by panicking and running away. Emma tried not to tense as she heard footsteps from above and then the perfectly clear voice that held no sign of a hangover or rough edge that Emma's did.

"Good morning Henry." Regina moved fluidly and gracefully down the stairs, stopping at the end of the couch to collect her heels, her eyes meeting Emma's before the blonde pulled hers away in embarrassment.

"Miss Swan, thank you for the hospitality." Neither woman looked directly at the other, the brunette focusing on her son and Emma looking anywhere but at the woman who still managed to look stunning after sinking far too much alcohol the night before and probably sleeping as well as Emma had.

She kissed her son on his head as she swept out of the flat, perfectly poised without a backwards glance at the Sheriff who flopped back onto the sofa knowing things were on the way to being messed up again and not knowing what to do about it. She wanted to curse but knew Henry was still in the room, so she buried her head and took a deep breath and silently berated herself.

* * *

Regina walked quickly despite her headache, these days she didn't often leave her house and when she did any townsfolk she came across either crossed the street to avoid her, throwing dirty looks or sometimes accusations and abuse. Mostly they whispered about her if they were in pairs and stared, none were brave enough to stand in her way, but Regina knew there was always the chance they would overcome their fear and she didn't feel well enough to deal with any of the towns people's shenanigans this morning.

She kept her head down and only stopped to look up when she was on the walkway of her house. It looked much improved, you could hardly see the graffiti and spray paint or know the windows had been smashed, but Regina knew and her anger flared before she marched the last few steps and put her key in the lock.

As Regina walked through her front door and started to climb the stairs the anger slipped away, melting into something that bothered her far more. Anger was Regina's oldest friend, it was what she fell back on and gave her strength. It ignited her passion and was familiar but this new emotion, it had been lurking and festering inside her since Emma had left the bedroom last night. As the emotion swept fully through her and spiked she gasped at the sensation. The feeling of rejection that she had been able to push away last night came crashing down on her, eclipsing the anger entirely. The hurt she felt and insecurities it created in her intensified and it felt like all the powerfully negative emotions she usually kept pushed far back swept forward full force and she had no choice but to confront them. She felt her stomach roll and there was a strong physical reaction in her body as tears threatened to fall and her muscles immediately tensed in her shoulders. Her knees felt weak and she fought the urge to sink to the floor.

 _Why wasn't she good enough?_ Her mind whispered. _What was wrong with her? Why didn't Emma want her?_ And then quickly the answers came. _You weren't attractive enough, slim enough. You were a drunken mess. You are a horrid, vicious person and Emma sees you for what you truly are. She knows your past, how could she ever want you again?_

With vision blurred by tears that by now were falling the brunette blindly reached out and grasped the banister, hauling herself to the landing where she did finally sink to her knees and let out a straggled cry. Her breathing ragged she stayed hunched over, her arms supporting her body as her body shook with repressed sobs, fuelled by the strength emotions she had never felt like this before.

Finally, slowly, she felt able to crawl across the landing and into the den where she propped herself against the sofa and sat on the plush carpet in the quiet room. She focused on regulating her breathing and calming her nerves. The feeling of rejection and the voices that taunted her gradually ebbed to be replaced by confusion. Regina had had much worse things happen to her than a lover running out on her, and yet she had never reacted so strongly before. Was it because it was Emma, was the annoyingly infuriating blonde beginning to mean more to her than she wanted to admit? No, that wasn't what this was.

Then maybe it was her head injury and perhaps things were still not right with her physically? She knew if that was the case she would never find out, going to the hospital and being made to ask for help, to admit a flaw or problem wasn't how she had been brought up. Asking for a MRI or CAT scan would be degrading and she also knew no matter how she approached it, what argument she made or even if she begged, the outcome would be the same, no-one would treat her in this town.

Whatever the reason for Regina's extreme loss of control she was in control now and she refused to allow it to interrupt her day. She didn't have a structure to her days anymore, she wasn't busy since she didn't have a job to go to, but she always found things to do. Today would be no different and with cleaning, housework, laundry and cooking she kept herself active and was able to divert her thoughts from dwelling on her earlier behaviour.

Trying to salvage her back yard from the blackened mess it had become, to make it a garden again with grass and plants helped as she was in the fresh air and warm sun. Even when a small child Regina had enjoyed being outside. Her Mother had always tried to discourage it, saying she would get dirty and that young ladies sat inside and drank tea, so it was obvious that being outside and away from her Mother would be one of Regina's favourite places. Not just because it annoyed her Mother, but because Regina felt free and unrestrained when the breeze blew through her hair and she could take a deep breath and smell the cut grass or the freshness after the rain.

As she turned over the dirt in a flowerbed and the damp soil released its earthy scent she was reminded of the fields of her childhood, of being outside with her father and later with Daniel and she closed her eyes and let a bittersweet smile grace her lips. Some things were lost to her forever, but very occasionally she could find a good memory that reminded her that although life had been hard, it hadn't all been awful and black and violent. If she wanted to change and to keep Henry then she would have to try and keep the good memories at the front of her thoughts, to stay positive and not let the darkness take over. In the sunlight she was sure she could do that, it would be hard but she was a fighter and determined she could do this.

* * *

Regina gasped as she woke from the nightmare, the worst she had had for a long time. Well the worst she could remember, the nights spent in the Sheriff Station must have been bad but she had no memory at all apart from what Emma had told her. This time the damned Imp had managed to worm his way into her dreams. She sucked in lungful's of air as she tried to calm her rapidly beating heart. The dream had been fragmented but she remembered the darkness and his caress against her skin that made her want to shudder and pull away but she was bound somehow.

His eerie voice had filtered through to her, telling her, "You need to pay."

"But I've paid enough!" She had argued, unable to see him but knowing he was near, the magic came off of him in waves and Regina felt helpless as she was unable to move and his magic flowed over her and extinguished hers completely.

"My father, my Kingdom, my whole life has been given to you so you could have your curse cast. I have nothing now, there is nothing left to give!"

"Not. Enough." He punctuated each word with a gentle slap to her face.

"What else do I have to give you? What would make you happy and get you to leave me alone?" There was a hint of pleading in her voice, and she hated it. This man had always made her feel that she wasn't good enough and now she had given everything and he was still asking her for more. He was so like her Mother, always pushing and demanding, manipulating to get what he wanted and he didn't care about the consequences for anyone else as long as he got what he himself needed.

"I don't know Dearie, maybe your life?" His voice was syrupy sweet, she could imagine the dancing light that would be in his eyes and the smile that would be gracing his scaly features. Somehow it made her angry that he could talk about ending her life and casting it aside so easily when all she had ever done was be his pupil and allow herself to be manipulated by him. Her life had been wretched and he had helped heap more misery onto it. Somewhat foolishly she allowed the anger to surface, she was bound but she still convulsed against the grip she was in, fighting the bonds holding her down.

"What did I do to you to deserve such a request?" She hissed through gritted teeth, her anger making her bolder, this time there was no trembling or pleading in her tone.

"Ahhh." He let the word hang between them. "That might be the first thing you have done right in your whole life. That might be the first correct question you ever asked."

Regina bristled, he was mocking her, poking fun at her whole existence. Her jaw was clenched and when she felt his rough skin caress her face again she was tempted to open her mouth and try and bite his offending hand.

"Good girl, you might learn something after all." His cloying remarks grated deep down inside her soul.

"What did I do?" She spat the question, hating the Imp even more as the conversation progressed.

"Belle." And suddenly she could see him because he was leaning over her and his breath washed over her face as his furiously dark eyes bored into hers. She felt the magic in the room increase, the tension and sparks round her grew and she realised she couldn't breathe. Rumple hadn't laid a hand on her but the magical grip round her was tightening and she felt it burning against her skin. She had been in this kind of magical grip before, it was one of her Mother's specialities, but she realised that her Mother must have shown some restraint because this was more severe, it hurt deeply immediately. And the crushing weight on her chest was driving the air from her lungs, she felt sure her ribs would break from the pressure.

That was when she had woken, her bedding kicked loose by her struggling form and her face clammy from sweat. Her hands stung from deep imprints of her nails on the palms where she had clenched them so tight in her sleep that the marks didn't disappear all the following day. They were marks Henry had noticed and had so gently run his fingers over when he came to visit the next afternoon.

She answered him with as much of the truth as she could, saying she slept badly and had nightmares without going into details. When he had hugged her goodbye she felt the love he had for her, the sympathy she would never have accepted from anyone else. He squeezed her hand as he was leaving and then immediately looked crestfallen as he mumbled that he didn't mean to hurt her. Soothing him with a smile and the gentle tone like she had always done she assured him that he hadn't hurt her, despite the marks throbbing at the pressure he had applied.

* * *

Emma looked at the clock, this was torture, there were still at least 2 full hours of work, and that was if she knocked off some minutes and left early.

There really wasn't anything to do and the boredom was soul sucking. The battery on her phone had run out from too much YouTube watching and her music playlists blaring. She had laughed at so many stupid cats, dogs and children all uploaded by equally stupid owners/parents and then danced round the station gyrating to the bass in her head. Phone speakers could only do so much to create a pumping disco environment. Emma had reached the end of her "That's Life!" magazine twenty minutes ago and now all she was left with was sitting and waiting for the phone to ring, that and her annoying thoughts, none of which were helping the day to pass any quicker.

The clicking of heels coming down the corridor only made Emma sigh. She had hoped the day wouldn't get any worse. But it was walking her way, there was no avoiding it. Perhaps Emma should be grateful Regina hadn't arrived an hour earlier and seen her being paid to dance round the station. At least she was seated and alert, looking ready for action. Even though the brunette wasn't the Mayor anymore, Emma was certain there would have been acerbic remarks about wasting tax payer's money or looking like a hooker with her swaying hips and shimmying body.

"Sheriff Swan." Regina greeted her.

"Your Highness." Emma tested the waters. This would be the first real chance they had to talk. They hadn't been alone since the night of drinking in her apartment, they had exchanged a few pleasantries while picking up or collecting Henry and that had been fine for them both. But it had been 5 days now and obviously Regina had got bored of skating round the issue. That was the only reason Emma could think of for her to be here.

The brunette rolled her eyes at Emma's welcome, but didn't make a sharp retort. There wasn't quite the frostiness between them that had existed before the curse and Emma silently thanked whatever God might be listening. She didn't want to go back to the way things were before Regina's stay in the cell at the back of the room. They had made progress and Regina was really trying to be better for Henry and it appeared that stupid drunken night hadn't ruined everything between them.

"I wanted to speak to you about Henry." Regina started, she still stood in front of Emma's desk, holding her hands together, looking uncomfortable, but taking some satisfaction that Emma hadn't stood and Regina could look down on her.

"As I'm sure you know, he came round to see me this weekend and discovered I'd had some difficulties sleeping. He went away and thought about it and allowed me to use some magic so I could make a herbal remedy from the old land." Regina took a breath, obviously struggling with what she needed to voice, "I know you were instrumental in that, so thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. He asked for guidance and I gave him my honest opinion. I trust you aren't using magic for frivolous things or to hurt anyone. I also know how hard things must be for you with Henry, I know you love him so very much and being apart and having him question that and your motives can't be easy to deal with. I know it wasn't Henry you were trying to poison, however badly that ended up playing out. He is young and confused so when he is unsure around you try not to take it personally. I'm sure he will work through it and the suspicion he treats you with will pass. I know it can't be easy." Emma tried to be open and smile and convey the honesty she was speaking with. She looked up into eyes she felt sure held a trace of guilt, before Regina moved her head and broke their connection.

"No, it isn't." came the forced out reply, the brunette wound so tightly that she hated giving anyone an insight on her feelings. That was why Emma knew she was unlikely to get close to the level of honesty they had previously shared. This was as close as Regina came to showing any kind of emotion in public.

"Hey." Emma's tone was gentle, "I do trust you. I believe you are working to be a better person. Henry realises it too. I forgave you for the turnover and the consequences, so will he in time."

Regina nodded, her eyes focused on some spot on the wall behind Emma's head.

Emma knew she was on borrowed time, Regina had come to thank her, and she had done that. The blonde knew the other woman well enough to know the likelihood was she would soon throw a witty and sharp remark out to deflect from the near crumbling of her emotional wall and stalk back out of the Station. Emma didn't want that to happen, she wanted to try and smooth things over, to get some of the negativity that still existed between them out in the open so they could move on.

Before Regina could bolt from the room Emma jumped in, saying:

"I need you to know that I think we both made mistakes last year, we were openly hostile and tried to divide Henry's love. We were horrid people towards each other and awful role models to the kid. Whatever our motives and however good our intentions seemed at the time our behaviour was wrong."

Emma was the one looking away now, as she tried not to think about how close she had come to giving in to the desire to leave Storybrooke and Henry, or to betray her own personal values and sink to retaliation, retribution, to give in to the darkest parts of herself. To Henry everything was so black and white, Emma was good, she was right. That in turn made Regina the Evil one, the black hearted villain. But Emma knew there was so much more to both women, shades of grey coloured them both. She hadn't stooped to poisoning but she had done plenty that she wasn't proud of.

The sad truth was something Emma was well aware of. She had given Henry up at birth, and he had never hated her for that. Regina had loved him unconditionally, given him a life Emma had only dreamed of for herself and her child when she gave him up, and he had turned on her and told her often he hated her. She mused that Life truly was unfair sometimes.

And now that woman stood in front of Emma, a woman she had wanted to slap, punch or beat senseless at times. And the brunette, in her own broken and stunted way, was thanking her for letting her see her own son. Life wasn't just unfair, it was really twisted too.

Emma continued, "However wrong our behaviour was, I do believe we both acted out of love for Henry, we both wanted what was best for him. You don't have to thank me, you should be able to see him because you are his mother and be given the same respect and opportunities that anyone else would as a loving mother and a human being."

Emma let her eyes travel back to the beautiful features stood above her. She licked her dry lips and looked at Regina's face trying to see if her words were resonating with the older woman. Was what she was saying getting in behind the mask?

"I know now standing in your way was wrong, that I did give up my claim on him at birth and we should have had a much more honest approach to sharing him. I should never have walked back into his life and tried to take him away from you like I did. He is a wonderful child, and that is because of you and the way you nurtured him. It took some time and some distance but I understand why you dug your claws in and fought so hard to keep him and I don't ever want to go back to that kind of relationship again. I hope by guiding him and helping him realise he needs you we can create a long lasting truce."

Emma stopped speaking and silence hung in the air. Emma wondered what was going on behind the mask and the highly guarded eyes.

Regina cleared her throat, pulling Emma away from her thoughts. "Well thank you for your time Miss Swan. I have things that require my attention so I will leave you to get on with your job. Good day Sheriff." and Regina spun on her heel as Emma stood.

"Regina?"

The brunette turned and raised an eyebrow, indication the blonde should continue.

"Henry will forgive you, in time. Despite everything, I'm grateful he came to you, I see the love you give him. I gave him up for a better life, and I believe he got that. You can never have too many people in your life that love you, and I will do my best to get him to see that you still love him and that there have been _unfortunate circumstances_ in the past, but they shouldn't define his relationship with you. He needs to look past the last year and remember the happy times before that."

Regina nodded curtly at the woman and marched quickly through the door. She continued at pace down the hallway, her heels clicking against the hard floor. Her back was straight, head held high but she was blinking her eyes rapidly to clear the tears that threated to fall. She shouldn't have let herself be affected so badly by a hope speech, especially from that woman, but she knew Emma had spoken sincerely. It lifted her heart that Emma thought Henry wasn't out of reach, just distant. She needed to be patient, and patience was something Regina knew she had lots of, after all she had waited years for love and then revenge and even longer for some kind of meaning in her life. Regina's whole life had been spent waiting for some satisfaction so what was a little longer?

She felt a tear fall, but her lips had curled into a smile, not her trade mark smirk, but a genuine smile that tugged at her mouth. The irony wasn't lost on her that the infuriating blonde was part of the reason for her smile. Their relationship was like fire and ice, full of ups and downs, but Regina had to admit (if only to herself) she was glad she hadn't successfully poisoned the woman. She could be sweet and endearing and had said just the right things to manage to worm her way back into Regina's good graces after running away and leaving her frustrated after that drunken night.

As the tear dried in the outside air, Regina picked up her feet and walked back to her house with more purpose than she had felt in weeks.

* * *

It didn't last as Regina felt the optimism leave her when she entered her house. She was feeling more and more melancholy at home, only being outside in her garden lifted her spirits or when Henry came to visit and distracted her. That had been her real reason for leaving the house earlier and seeking out the Sheriff. She needed to see someone, some company, even if the topic of the conversation had left her feeling unsettled and over emotional.

She had begun to realise that being at home was slowly making her depressed, without a job to help her focus, keep her busy and get her out of the house and interacting with other people she felt useless and ostracised. Now she walked through the house that felt empty and bleak and seemed to suck any warmth from her soul. She stepped out into the back yard, collapsing on the new swing seat she had purchased not long ago and letting the rays of the sun try and heat her chilled body and cold heart the way Emma's words had done.


	8. The Wall Comes Down

Hi, another update as promised.

A bit racey so please remember the mature rating.

* * *

Regina sat quiet and alone in her house, she was bored. She was also fighting against memories, dark, twisted, torturous memories. Her Mother and her husband and the Imp all crowding in and making it hard to concentrate on anything. Thinking of good times with Henry only helped for a short time before her previous train of thought re-asserted itself.

She wondered if she had finally lost her mind. She was battling with herself for control and losing. It was very probable that she might, after the years of dancing round the edge, have reached the point where she couldn't cope anymore. Had her past and dark deeds caught up with her and set her spinning over the edge of sanity and into the welcoming darkness that was madness?

She stood up and grabbed her coat. She needed to get out, to leave the house, so she descended the stairs and out into the cold chill of the darkness of the evening. She'd go to The Rabbit Hole, she had money and they had alcohol. There would be people there, no-one would talk to her, but that was ok. She could watch and listen and distract herself, there would be noise and life and an atmosphere that wasn't the deeply empty quiet of her house.

* * *

Jealousy, it was a horrid, burning emotion. She tried to swallow it down, but it sat in her chest, tight and painful. The man had his hand on Emma's shoulder and she was laughing at something he had said. Regina watched the man order 2 drinks for them both and caught Emma flash him an appreciative smile. When the drinks arrived the man tipped his glass to Emma's in a "Cheers" gesture and with the glass in his right hand, dropped his left from Emma's shoulder to her arse, cupping round the denim and gently squeezing.

Regina felt the heat radiate out from her chest, and pooling in her finger tips, causing her to clench her fists against the magic that threatened to seep out. How dare he touch her like that, he had no right.

But Emma made no move to shift away from the hand and Regina had to take a deep breath to calm herself and made a visible effort to uncurl her fists, recently healed half-moon crescents reappeared, left behind as indentations on her palm with the force of her anger. If Emma wanted to let this man touch her, that was Emma's business, not hers. Why she was putting herself through watching this? Answering that question was her business. She downed her drink instead.

She didn't know why, was it some sick torture, looking at what you couldn't have anymore? Hadn't she done enough of that her whole life?

She had kept Daniel's body so she could look at it on her darkest days, with it giving her no comfort, his arms dead and cold and lifeless when all she needed was to be held close and comforted. His sightless eyes and cold touch just reminding her she was alone and he was gone, but still she kept it in plain sight rather than burying him.

She kept Henry's room, untouched, unlocked and looked in on it every night, despite the fact he had proclaimed her "Evil" and wanted distance from her and proof she had changed before he would have anything meaningful to do with her. Admittedly things were getting better between them but she still stood in the doorway and felt the weight settle in her heart at his absence.

She had even left Leopold's chambers alone in the Enchanted Forest, the bed reminding her of a lost innocence, and of her failure as a Queen and Wife to the man. She had stood in that doorway with the magic crackling around her fingers, trying to feel anger and hatred for the dead King, but all she had felt over and over was a stilted kind of peace now that he was gone. That and some resentment that she had never been enough, she had been nothing to him. Never enough to replace his dead wife and eventually when it became clear she wouldn't conceive an heir, forgotten unless he was drunk.

She knew it was fatal to dwell on those memories, for they brought tears, sadness and shame. There was nothing positive to take from them, they were only full of fear and hurt. There was the long burning frustration that she had been trapped and manipulated into the marriage and ensuing duties expected of a Queen in that situation. It brought about a sickening self-loathing for allowing that to happen to herself, for being used for someone else's physical release, bowing to Her King and husband's wishes and needs so completely despite it breaking her inside.

Nothing positive came from remembering, so the memories were locked up and pushed away, they were not to be confronted. So she had looked over the dark room and then spun away flicking her wrist and slamming the door shut and locking it with magic. She left his quarters untouched, because she was a coward and scared that if she did confront the things she had been through at his hands, if she did tap into the negativity associated with that part of her past, she might lose herself completely.

Her greatest fear was that her fragile mind might snap under the weight of it and she might never be able to stop the destruction that raged from the release of the emotions. She hated him because he had made her hate herself. He eroded her confidence, took her innocence, ignored her company for that of his child and still expected her to stand by his side and smile politely and be the beautiful and regal Queen she didn't ever feel like. Whatever Regina had done, none of it was ever enough for him to view her as his beloved Eva's equal.

Regina smiled, well more a smirk, because it was ironic. She must enjoy hurting and torturing herself just as much as she had wanted to hurt other people.

Mussing about the past Regina nearly missed Emma's next move. Another round of drinks had been ordered and Regina lifted her eyes to the scene as Emma leaned in to whisper something to the man, a satisfied smile on her pale lips. Lips Regina remembered bringing her great pleasure, lips she was trying to convince herself she didn't miss. She sat still and watched as the man nodded and Emma reached into her back pocket and brought out a wallet.

Typical, thought Regina, the woman wouldn't have anything resembling a handbag, she carried a wallet, stuffed into her back pocket, her whole life contained in that one piece of leather. Stuffed with dollar bills, photos, credit cards, everything you would need to run away and start somewhere new at the drop of a hat, kept close to your person.

Regina swallowed her surprised with a mouthful of her scotch as Emma pulled out a photo and showed the man, watching his face go from laughing to shock and then abruptly a carefully placed mask. Regina knew the look, it was one she used often, drop all emotion and put on the face of indifference to the rest of the world.

The brunette wondered what on earth Emma could have shown him or said to change his reactions so completely. The man's hand dropped from Emma's personal space like she was burning him. He downed his drink and made a stuttering excuse and held out his hand for shaking before practically running from the bar.

Regina dropped her chin into the palm of her hand and quizzically tipped her head at the display she had just witnessed. She was glad the man had gone and a lazy smile graced her full red lips. Emma caught her eye and dropped her a wink, reaching for the drink she had been bought and swiftly draining the glass. Regina looked away, a blush rising to her checks at having been caught watching.

Several drinks later, the blonde was oblivious to the eyes raking over her body and then boring into her figure as she knocked back another shot, her throat working over the liquid, Regina's eyes watching the milky skin of her throat before pulling her eyes back to her own drink. It wouldn't do to be caught watching the sheriff again this evening. At least her jealousy had abated and she could breathe a bit more easily. Her chest felt more normal and not burning in a vice like grip with every breath she took.

She looked at the bar and the empty glasses she had amassed. Maybe she had gone a little too far as she had started on shorts the moment she had arrived and she felt the heat in the room beginning to stifle her. She knew she was drunk as her thought process was a little slower than she would like.

It was then that hands came and rested on her shoulders, gently sliding over the silk fabric of her blouse and resting on her upper arms. A warm breath tickled against her neck and behind her ear and Regina leaned into the touch unconsciously, the sound of the voice familiar, even though it had dropped an octave and was hardly more than a whisper. The hands had rubbed over her firmly, the pressure not enough to crease the fabric, but enough to make Regina's skin tingle from the contact.

"Do you want to know what I showed him?" the breath carried a scent of liquor and the ability to set Regina's pulse racing and her muscles quivering.

"Miss Swan, I have no idea what you are referring to." Regina tried to put some bite into her voice, to retain authority, despite her body betraying her and shifting in her seat, trying to close the distance to the woman stood behind her. She failed and her voice came out sounding weak even to her own ears.

"I saw you watching, Regina. Don't try that on me." Emma stepped forward an inch as she dropped her hand and circled the brunette's waist, helping pull her closer, so their bodies were flush against one another.

Regina took a sharp intake of breath, but didn't try to pull away. Her mind span, this was the woman who less than a week ago had pulled away and rejected her. But her hands were warm and touching her now and she wanted it, she needed the contact with another person, even if that person was an unstable and unpredictable blonde who seemed to enjoy teasing her.

Emma had known she wouldn't pull away. The Queen had been drinking and it had lowered her inhibitions. Humming in approval at the contact and feeling the heat the movement of pulling Regina into her space caused, Emma instinctively knew Regina's body craved more contact. She gently stroked her hand up a bare arm and leaned in closer so she could inhale the scent of her hair. Goosebumps followed in the wake of the soft contact and Regina's cheeks tinted pink as she felt her nipples grow hard. Emma couldn't see as she was behind her, but she was in a public bar in a silk blouse that would hide very little. Someone might notice that she was becoming increasingly turned on by the close proximity of The Sheriff.

Regina knew she was rapidly losing control of this situation and she was slightly intoxicated, which meant her usually sharp wit and ability to talk her way out of things was a little slow and hazy round the edges. Her breathe hitched in her throat, her body responding against her better judgement. She hated not being in control, and at the moment the blonde was calling the shots. It reminded the brunette that for so often in her life things had happened to her, leaving her to react and to try and accept. She was tired of reacting, she could be in control of this, and she was not going to give in to Emma Swan so easily. Emma hadn't given in to her and she wanted an explanation, or at least to find the strength to not give in like she was a giddy teenager with her first high school crush.

She cleared her throat, "I didn't know people watching in a _public_ bar was illegal, _Sheriff_. Besides, I found it quite entertaining."

She lied hoping Emma wouldn't notice it with her Superpower. Entertained had not been how she felt earlier and the pain was still fresh on her damaged palms to remind her of it.

Regina silently berated herself, she was flirting with the woman when she should have tried to rebuke her and rebuff her advances. She should have said, "What do you think you are doing with your hands, Miss Swan?" or some equally acerbic other comment to let the blonde know she had overstepped a boundary and her actions were inappropriate, instead she allowed the arm round her to get tighter and the husky voice in her ear to continue talking.

"I showed him a picture of my son." Emma continued, as if the last minute of conversation hadn't happened. "Would you like to see a picture of my son?" She whispered into Regina's ear the action of the hot breath on her neck caused Regina to shift slightly in the seat as she felt her body respond with heat and wetness.

Emma continued in her sexily low voice, "I'm almost certain you wouldn't run away like he did."

"You'd know about running Miss Swan. Last week you could have won a medal for the speed you showed leaving the bedroom." Regina felt happy with herself, the blonde wouldn't have this all her own way.

She felt Emma stiffen a little at the words, but the apology flowed easily and was sincere, "I'm sorry about that, I have issues about taking advantage of people when they are drunk. I didn't want to do that to you."

"But I am drunk now, what has changed?" The brunette cocked her head to the side and away from Emma's lips and hot breath.

"I'm drunk too and I have had a few days to think things over. Just accept my apology and my body that I am basically offering up on a plate here." Emma nudged her nose playfully against the soft skin of the brunette's neck.

The brunette said nothing, there was a flaw in Emma's reasoning because she had been drunk that night last week too but thinking wasn't coming easily to Regina as she was trying very hard to not turn around and kiss the other woman. She wanted nothing more than to feel Emma's hands and lips roaming over her curves, nails biting into tender flesh as they held each other intimately, teeth nipping. She was struggling hard trying to tell herself they didn't do that anymore, that part of her game was over but the memories were burned into her mind and her skin itched remembering Emma's tongue tracing paths over her collar and hip bone, placing hot and open mouthed kisses on her body.

Emma's body pressed into hers was distracting her, she needed distance. Her resolution to keep Emma waiting and wanting was slipping away from her. As she made to pull away Emma spoke again.

"Although I did get 2 free drinks out of it, and I could have got more had I not taken pity on him and given him the perfect excuse to leave."

"Miss Swan that kind of behaviour, using someone for drinks isn't very ethical or very Savioury." Regina tried to rebuke the blonde.

"Savioury – is that even a word? I thought you were always eloquent your Majesty? And I'm not always a good girl, you might remember?" Hands traced patterns through the silk shirt and Regina remembered very well.

"Besides he was an arsehole, I just took advantage of his stupidity and belief that he'd get into my pants tonight. He was an arrogant prick, not like the person my actions seemed to stoke the interest of, someone much better suited to me, someone much sexier. So, to summarise, I don't think the whole situation was a complete bust."

"I think stoking my interest is a strong way to describe my response, Miss Swan, but I thank you for the compliment." Regina smiled, she was enjoying the banter and having someone other than Henry to speak to.

She grew bold, knowing Emma had just called her sexy and had made her expectations for the evening clear. She wanted Regina and that had given the brunette confidence, confidence that had been missing for months now. The months since the curse had broken and even before that as she had clung desperately to the tatters of her life.

Regina felt alive as the blood pumped in her veins and she couldn't help but respond to the blonde's advances. She knew instinctively her next words would affect the blonde as she said in a silky and sultry voice, "If you think I'm sexy now you have no idea. Imagine me laced up in just a corset and high heels and then tell me how much sexier I could be."

She was flirting and pushing the blonde, trying to make her lose some control so Regina could profit and get a chance to breathe again. Her own comments didn't work, they just peaked her own arousal as she realised she'd love to stand before Emma in just a corset and high heels and see how quickly the blonde could undress her. She did feel Emma's heart rate quicken as her breathing came out in a pant and she allowed her pump lips to smile. At least she had thrown the blonde's concentration as well. They were both getting off on the game, but this was a public bar and it couldn't continue. Soon Regina would have to make a choice, walk away like Emma had the last time they were this close or ravish her and satisfy them both. She hoped it was the latter, despite her misgivings and fear of where it might lead them.

They were still for a moment breathing heavily, not moving away from the embrace they found themselves in. Regina licked her lips, her mouth and throat remained dry but she didn't have a drink. She realised they were still in conversation and Emma had asked a question of her. She grinned.

"And I would love to see a picture of your son, I'm sure he is strong and striking, just like his mother." she quipped with a twisted smile, letting Emma interpret the insinuation within the comment however she wanted to.

"Take me home and I'll show you." Emma finally breathed out. If Regina had turned she would have seen the lust and desire darkening Emma's eyes. As it was she heard it in the tone of voice and knew Emma wanted her just as much as she wanted the blonde.

Reason crept in, "Emma " she started to say but was cut off.

"Don't say no, don't think about it, just give in to what your body wants Regina, please. Just for tonight? I made a mistake the other night and I'll explain if you give me the chance, but right now just let me please you."

Emma dropped her hand to Regina's thigh and squeezed lightly before running her fingers up the inside of her leg, past the hem of her skirt and dancing them across the sensitive skin there before sliding it back down to her knee. The brunette felt her hips jerk involuntarily as the fingers slid away from the apex of her thighs.

The blonde continued to husk in her ear, "You know you want it. And you know it will be good. Don't think, just feel." And Emma moved brunette locks away from her neck so she could press her lips to the exposed skin. "Settle up and meet me outside?" Her tongue slipped out to caress the spot she had just kissed and Regina felt her body shake with anticipation and she gripped the edge of the bar to stop a moan escaping from her lips.

Emma was right, she did want this and she remembered how good it was between them. Throwing all caution to the wind she nodded so Emma felt the motion and then coolness closed in around her body as Emma walked away from her. She signalled the barman and paid her tab and walked with as much composure as she could muster from the bar. She wanted to run, she felt like a naughty and giddy teenager. It took great restraint to walk straight and slowly into the cold night air but she managed, gasping a little at the chill she felt wrap round her body as the door closed behind her.

She didn't have time to acclimatise to the outside weather because almost immediately she was embraced by strong arms, wrapped up in Emma's body heat as she used her momentum to push them both back against the wall and the smirking lips from across the bar crashed into Regina's.

Tongues were quickly duelling before the brunette was able to pull away and breathe raggedly into Emma's ear, "Not here."

"Where then?" Emma was equally breathless and had lifted the material of the blouse and was dancing her fingers across the toned stomach of Regina's abdomen.

"My house is closer."

Emma was sucking hard on her neck as her hands ran up and down, stroking the soft skin of Regina's sides. Forcibly she pulled away and grabbed the blonde's hand. Moving quickly off down the sidewalk she dragged the blonde with her, thankful she had got her new mattress delivered in the week and that she had full use of her bedroom again. She had never thought she would be christening it so soon and the thought made her even wetter and her brisk walking pace increased so that Emma stumbled just a bit to keep up.

Stumbling through the doorway Emma swung her foot and managed to kick the door closed. She pushed Regina up against the wall and let her hands roam, pushing the fabric of the shirt away so she could caress the soft skin underneath.

Regina's back hit the wall and she arched into Emma's warm hands. Suddenly she wasn't there with Emma, but it was her Mother that stood before her. It was her Mother who had taken her body and pushed her back into a tree. She was back at her childhood home, in a sun dappled field with a fresh breeze blowing her long hair back. She felt the sting of bark digging into her back and marking her skin. It was obvious that something she had said or done had angered her Mother. The fierce look in the cold eyes pierced into her and she visibly swallowed while trying not to move or struggle against the grip her mother had her in. That would only anger the woman more and make the punishment more severe.

Regina's head swam and suddenly the field was gone and Emma stood in front of her again. The blonde had pulled away, sensing Regina's distraction and she caught the brunette as she stumbled forward into her arms.

"Whoa. Are you ok?" Emma wasn't angry, there was concern in her voice and Regina buried her face into the blonde hair to hide the expression on her face. There was fear and embarrassment, but worse the chill that had run up her back was rapidly dousing her raging libido and she didn't want that. She wanted Emma, it was just that something was clawing its way up through her body, something negative was eating up the way Emma's hands had made her feel, the way she had felt alive and aroused and wanted. It was like a switch had been thrown and Regina clung to the blonde hoping that she could retain the feelings by being close to the other woman.

Emma pulled Regina close to her and supported her weight as they climbed the stairs together, instinctively sensing the change in the older woman and taking a breath to calm down and see what was happening. She was aroused, but she could contain that, she had seen the way Regina had glassed over and now wasn't a time to get frisky and push her luck. Her blank face and faraway look had worried Emma and she knew something had happened to the brunette. Emma guided Regina towards the Den, but she shook her head and mumbled "bedroom."

"Regina I don't think that is a good idea. You completely checked out for a minute there."

"Come to bed with me Emma, I need you. I think you know me well enough now to understand I wouldn't ask lightly."

"Ok, but will you tell me what just happened? One minute we were tearing the clothes off each other and then you were gone. Has this happened before, is it to do with the bang to your head and your concussion?"

"Come to bed, I'll tell you then."

Emma walked behind Regina, slowly up the stairs. She still admired the shapely rear but she had to admit that the passion had been doused considerably and she wasn't fuelled by the same animalistic hunger to take the woman she had be possessed by earlier. She was instead filled by concern and wanted to make sure Regina wasn't going to pass out.

As the older woman opened the bedroom door and crossed the space to the bed Emma realised how much work had been put into the room. She remembered how it had been destroyed, the wallpaper had hung from the walls, no furniture had escaped unscathed and the carpet must also be new as it was stain and blemish free and thick under her feet rather than patchy and burned. Emma was impressed by Regina's determination and with her inability to give up or give in. But then she remembered months of persecution and trying to be run out of town and she recognised that whatever Regina did she was driven and focused and that she shouldn't be surprised at all. Regina didn't know the meaning of the word give up and that suddenly became clear as she pulled Emma onto the bed and tried to kiss her as if the incident downstairs hadn't happened at all.

And Emma let her for a split second, getting pulled into the kiss and responding, allowing the brunette to push her down onto the bed and straddle her hips. Then her rational mind woke up and she gently pushed the other woman away so she could look at her face.

"I thought we were going to talk?"

"I've got you between my legs and you want to talk?" There was a sexy pout on the full lips and Emma nearly fell for the sultry tone and flirty nature of the comment. She nearly let the woman distract her, but then realisation dawned on her.

"You're trying to deflect me with sex!"

Regina huffed out a response, obviously agitated and annoyed at being caught out. "It has always worked before!"

"Were the times before with men by any chance?" Emma suggested, her eyebrow raised and a gentle smile on her face. She wasn't angry with the brunette, not really. She didn't want to scare her away, she wanted to make her feel comfortable so that they could talk about what had happened.

She reached up and tucked brown hair behind an ear and cupped the face above her. She wished she could convey how much she wanted to help and she didn't feel that having sex and ignoring things would help right now.

"Yes." was the haughty reply to the question and Emma had to stop herself giggling at the look of frustration that crossed the beautiful features.

"I don't want to push you here and make you so uncomfortable that you avoid me for days, I'm just worried. What happened, where did you go?"

"I would never be so childish to avoid you for days." Came the stunted reply and Emma just raised an eyebrow and waited for the snarky to disappear so she could cajole the truth from the woman above her.

Realising that she wasn't going to be able to ignore this or use other tactics to distract the blonde Regina pouted further. Emma thought it was adorable and wanted to kiss the woman but held herself still and managed to keep her mouth shut so that Regina was forced to break the silence.

"Fine. You are such a spoil sport though. The sex you have just passed up would have been great."

Emma just nodded. It was on the tip of her tongue to flirt back and suggest that sex wasn't off the table, they were after all in Regina's bed, but she held back, knowing to interrupt now would mean Regina would remain silent about the incident.

"I got caught up in a memory, a rather vivid one about my mother and her corrective methods." Regina's voice was tight and her face was pained, like she was chewing something hard and spikey.

"Corrective methods?" Emma echoed.

"Yes, I don't know what I had done, but I had angered mother somehow and she was using magic to show me that my behaviour wasn't as she expected and train me to be better."

"Using magic how?" Emma watched Regina try to look away and she reached up and held her chin so their eyes were locked. "Did she hurt you?" Emma whispered.

"Mother always hurt me, either with her hurtful words, her strange brand of loving or her lack of patience. Then her magic would be used to correct my unacceptable behaviour."

"The scars you have." Emma placed her hands on the older woman's sides and gently caressed the skin through the fabric. "Your mother gave you those?"

"Not all of them." The brunette said through gritted teeth and Emma felt the tension run through her body as they were so close and Regina subconsciously clenched her thighs which were round the blonde's waist.

Emma knew she was pushing now, she had found out what had happened earlier but now she wanted more. She dropped her hands to the tense thighs and ran her hands up and down them, hoping it was a gesture that would give comfort. They were covered in stockings, and the skirt Regina wore was bunched at her waist and Emma felt the blood pump a little harder round her body. The woman above her was so alluring, Emma struggled to keep the mood between them light and not sensual. She wanted to place the delicate tips of her fingers on the inside of Regina's thighs and ghost them over the sensitive skin. She didn't.

Instead she asked, "Who else hurt you?"

It was obviously the wrong thing to say as Regina's face contorted into a grimace and she swung her leg back over Emma and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Emma understood why Regina had pulled away so suddenly and completely when she heard the small voice say, "Your Grandfather."

Yep, Emma thought. That would kill the mood, remembering I'm related to someone who had hurt and scarred you. Way to go. She sat up and went to place her hand on Regina's back and then thought better of it. Regina had got off her with such speed, it was like she had been burned by having Emma close to her. Touching the woman now might not be in anyone's best interest.

 _Oh screw it_ , Emma thought and forcibly pulled the brunette into her arms. It was an instinctive response to seeing the sag in Regina's shoulders and she felt how tense the brunette was but she didn't struggle against the hold.

"I am not him" Emma whispered into Regina's hair, "I would never hurt you or force you." Emma shuddered a bit as she realised what her words meant, what things her Grandfather might have done, but she kept her grip round Regina and pulled her closer. She would have released her at the first sign of discomfort, the first sign the brunette had struggled but she didn't. She just lay still, not moving, hardly breathing at all.

"I am so sorry for the things he did and the things your Mother put you through too. Will you let me hold you? Will you let me stay?" Emma kissed the top of the ear she could see and hoped the broken woman in her arms could take some comfort from being close to someone, someone who had no expectations and would be there to listen to her if she finally wanted to open up. She hoped there was a sliver of trust between them, a shared understanding.

"Yes." Emma struggled to hear the word, it was barely more than a whisper. "Stay."

And just like that the body she was holding relaxed a little. "I'm so tired. Tired of fighting and trying to forget the memories." Again it was little more than a whisper, and Regina sounded so much younger and broken.

Emma knew the admissions this evening hadn't come easily, that she was being allowed to see more of the woman than anyone else ever had except Henry. She knew from her own experience that looking back at the past and relaying it was always hard, but she hoped that by revisiting it maybe Regina had been able to let go of some of her pent up feelings. She hoped they wouldn't fester quite as deeply or continue to hurt her so badly. But she knew it was a long road and that Regina was telling the truth about being exhausted.

"Then try and get some sleep."

"I have nightmares." The body pulled away from Emma but she refused to let it go and pulled it back. Again Regina let herself be held.

"Then I'll hold you when you wake up and we can either talk about it or I'll make you hot chocolate and do my best to bore you with conversation until you sleep again. You're not abnormal, with the trauma in your life I'd be surprised if you didn't have nightmares."

Emma pulled the cover out from underneath them and placed it over them. They were both fully clothed, but then Emma supposed that would be a reassuring thing that nothing sexual would happen. It was odd, but Emma wasn't even disappointed about the way the evening had gone. She had thought she was going to get hot sex but this was something else, something different, but not something bad. This was being allowed to see behind the wall Regina fought so hard to maintain and project.

"You're beautiful you know." The blonde whispered the confession.

"I'm flawed, scarred and damaged."

"Aren't we all?"

"Stop with the philosophy Miss Swan."

"Can't you just accept the compliment? Can't you just believe that to me you are beautiful? Admittedly twisted, dangerously psychotic and generally a pain in the arse, but a very beautiful one."

With an exasperated sigh Regina answered, "Emma please, be quiet and go to sleep."

So Emma closed her mouth and felt the brunette shift against her trying to get comfortable. It was several minutes later when she heard a sleepily muttered:

"Oh and Emma, thank you."

Emma felt her face split in the biggest smile, before she got a poke in the ribs and a muttered, "Don't get carried away, I don't need to see your face to know there is a dopey grin there."

"Yes My Queen." Emma breathed out, her arms tightening in a protective embrace.


	9. Finally Finding Things Out

More updates, 3 in 2 days. I think I even impress myself!

Sorry to disappoint but things will probably slow down again for a few days.

Mature story, hope you are all enjoying. Thanks for the reviews.

* * *

Regina woke and it was still dark outside. She looked over to the clock and it was the early hours of the morning, she hadn't slept more than 3 hours. She lay there listening to Emma's inhale and exhale and knew last night had been a mistake. Not necessarily the sharing and the strong arms that still encircled her, but the excessive drinking and falling exhaustedly asleep before going to get a glass of cold water to dilute the alcohol in her system.

Also she should have gone to the bathroom. Now she groggily needing to leave the warmth of the bed and she felt rough with a dry mouth and scratchy throat. Her eyes were heavy and there was a dull throbbing starting in her head. Her eyes felt tired, strained, but she knew it was from the unshed tears. Had she let herself cry last night she didn't know if in the slightly inebriated state she was in she would have stopped and so she had steadfastly held back. Emma didn't need to see that, Regina was still amazed that she had stayed, that she had wanted to stay.

Stealthily removing herself from the blonde's grip she slipped out and into the hallway. She missed the warmth of the bed immediately, but the comfort she had taken from the other woman still left a smile on her face. She didn't want to use the en-suite in case the flushing toilet woke Emma, she walked down the corridor to the family bathroom instead. She used the toilet and then washed both her hands and face, the cool water waking her a little. It helped unstick her eyes as the crustiness in the corners of her eyelids dissolved. She rinsed her mouth and felt a little better, but she had to get a glass of drinking water from the kitchen, and probably one for Emma too as the blonde had drunk as much as she had last night.

She made it to the entrance to the kitchen but stood still and looked at the spot on the wall where she had had the flashback of her Mother. The warmth and safety she had felt when upstairs was quickly dissipating and she had been tired upstairs but now she felt absolutely exhausted. The tears she had felt threaten to fall last night came back and her eyes felt grainy and itched uncomfortably.

Regina knew something wasn't right so she used all of her control to push her feelings and emotions away and focus. She imagined building a wall in her mind keeping the emotions held back. It was an old trick she had found she could employ when she was much younger. The times when her Mother used to start with the hurtful barbs and criticism of her. She would take the hurt, anguish and how upset she was and push it away so she could still function, still smile and be the person her Mother demanded she be. She worked now to control herself and not let the emotions control her.

When she felt calm enough she stepped closer to the wall, palm out. Coldness radiated up her arm and she felt any happiness she had inside her slipping away, dread began to pool in her stomach. She focused and tried to ignore it but it was very difficult. Her headache was getting worse, changing from a dull throb to a pounding hammer and as she stepped closer she realised something was draining her of energy and making her so very tired. She was feeling more and more heavy and her arm wanted to drop, her legs trembled at supporting her. She clenched her teeth but underneath all the swirling negativity Regina finally felt the spark of magic. As her magic reached out to try and discern what the other magic was she felt the barrier in her mind begin to crack. Her magic was being sucked into the wall and with it her focus and ability to keep the emotions at bay. Without any conscious thought Regina curled her hand into a fist and with a strike made more powerful with magic she punched a hole in the newly repaired plasterboard.

Resting on a wooden support was a black vial, the contents pulsing madly inside the glass confines.

The brunette could actually see her magic coming from her hand and being devoured by the blackness, and as it pulled her magic from her it pulled any warmth and positivity with it. She instinctively pulled her hand back and took a step backwards. She stumbled and another step seemed to sever most of the connection between herself and the vial. She could still feel it pulling at her, but with distance came some control and she was able to take a deep breath and concentrated on reinforcing the wall in her mind.

Deciding quickly what she needed to do she went into the kitchen and got an oven glove. It wasn't much but she knew to touch the vial with her bare skin would be a mistake. Reaching through the wall she grasped the bottle and quickly stepped back into the kitchen.

Handling the dark liquid made her whole body cold and tense. She was holding herself rigid and the pain in her head intensified as unbidden tears formed in her eyes again. She felt irrational fear bubble inside her, fear of losing Henry, fear of her past, her mind became a kaleidoscope of memories. Her Mother using a magical whip, Leopold leering over her as he drunkenly thrust himself into her and her hand crushing heart after heart until it was stained rust red from the broken flecks. Still she saw herself ripping the organs from chests and grinning with malice at her sickening actions. It was like the image was stuck on repeat.

She managed to collapse onto a chair and put the vial on the counter top. As she dropped the glass and she heard it clink against the marble the tears broke free and cascaded down her face. She knew who had put the vial in her house, there was only one other person that powerful in Storybrooke. She also knew that the potion inside had been made with hatred and the desire to hurt and damage her, maybe even drive her into madness or such a depression that she killed herself.

It had been hidden and placed in her house when she had been recovering in the Sheriff Station, that was the only explanation. There was no way Gold could have entered her house since she put the protection spell around it. He had obviously done this some time ago and slowly things began to make sense to her. The memories she couldn't stop, the extreme way she had felt rejection and sadness. The bitterness and soul sucking loneliness that had been amplified by the toxin and the desire to spend time in her garden and away from her house. Her psyche was being slowly poisoned by spending time in her home, bringing all the negativity in her life to the surface. And it had been going on for weeks, months now. She smiled bitterly, she was surprised she hadn't completely lost herself and it was with shock she felt a sliver of pride creep in.

The brunette had no idea how long she sat there, staring at the vial and losing herself to the pull it had over her. She lost herself in memories and flashbacks and would then shudder violently and realise where she actually was but seemed to lack the strength to stand and walk away from the damned bottle. Her eyes would lose focus as she was pulled back into the murky darkness swirling in front of her. Once she started forcefully, finding her arm had snaked out and was trying to form a better connection with the vile liquid, but all she seemed able to do was use the oven glove to push the glass further away and across the counter top. She couldn't leave the bottle, it was like it had a siren call over her and tears still leaked from her eyes and fell unnoticed down her cheeks.

* * *

Emma woke and immediately sensed the empty bed. She needed a drink and to use the bathroom, but she flopped backwards and swore under her breath. Running away was her gig, but the tables seemed to have been turned on her tonight. She felt anger and betrayal niggle at her, she had been used as a bed warmer, and quite literally used just to hold the woman and keep her warm. Most bed warmers were sexual toys, Emma hadn't even got sex out of it. It made her feel like she had been badly used. She didn't know what she had expected come the morning, but this wasn't it. However as Emma crossed the room to the en-suite she realised it wasn't morning, it was still dark outside.

Where had Regina gone? Emma had finished in the bathroom and stood unmoving in the middle of the bedroom. She listened for a few minutes but the house was still and quiet. Had Regina panicked and was now sleeping in another bed? Had she gone downstairs for a drink and fallen asleep on the sofa? There was no way the woman had left the building, not in the middle of the night. Should Emma go and find her, wake her up and ask her why she had slunk away like she was ashamed? Should Emma ignore her own feelings of sadness and try and placate the older woman, tell her that she had nothing to be worried or ashamed about?

Firstly she had to find her, and then she could decide what to do. As she swallowed with a dry mouth she promised her poor hungover body she would also get a glass of water at the same time.

Emma checked upstairs first, opening each door and looking in the unused bedrooms. Some of them Regina had obviously just shut the doors and not repaired the damage the townspeople had inflicted. Emma looked at the broken remains and sighed. She kept forgetting that Regina had lost so much and was still delicate, despite her outwardly harsh façade she kept trying to maintain.

As Emma descended the stairs her eyes were drawn to the hole in the wall. Emma knew it had been punched and cocked her head quizzically to the side. The wall was definitely intact last night, so what had Regina done that for? And where had she gone, because the house still felt too quiet.

As she entered the kitchen she was startled by Regina's presence. The woman was sat complete quiet and still, Emma would have rushed to check she was still breathing if she hadn't noticed the tears seeping down the brunette's face.

"Regina?" Emma called out to the woman, but she didn't move.

Emma put her hand on the woman's arm and she flinched, her head turning with unfocused and blank eyes to stare at Emma. Emma had a feeling of Déjà vu from earlier when Regina had been in her arms, arching into her touch, and then she was gone. This was the same look that had settled on her face hours earlier and Emma gently shook her and called her name until her eyes gradually came back into some kind of focus and the blonde knew Regina was back in the here and now with her.

As Emma glanced at the table she saw the vial and went to reach for it, only to have Regina grip her arm with force. "Don't." The voice came out scratchy and barely more than a whisper but the grip on her arm was strong.

"Why not?"

"It is very powerful. Can't you feel it?" The brunette was trying to keep her voice level, but the blonde still heard the shake in it.

Emma shook her head, to her it was just a glass bottle, it was bubbling and swirling and obviously held something that wasn't stable, but it didn't seem to be anything to be scared of. However Regina was obviously very wary of it and Emma stopped reaching for it with her hand and instead turned to face the older woman. With tenderness she very slowly and very gently raised the hand to the brunette's face and when Regina didn't flinch from her touch she used the pad of her thumb to wipe away the tears she could see there.

The brunette shivered, she was exhausted from having the worst emotions thrust on her and having her magic and all positiveness sucked into the vial. She was also very dehydrated, from drinking last night and then crying almost without a break since she came downstairs. Emma looked at the woman and the dark circles under her eyes and any anger or resentment she had felt about waking up alone vanished. She wanted to wrap the woman in her arms and carry her to bed.

Knowing Regina and how stubborn she was instead she said,

"Glass of water? Cup of coffee? Have you got any paracetamol? My head is beginning to hurt, guess I'm not so young anymore huh?"

Regina didn't react to the quip at all, which told Emma there was definitely something wrong. Usually Regina would jump on the chance to put the other woman down or belittle her, even if now they were much more amicable in the exchanges.

She just said in a voice that was barely more than a monotone, "Water please, glasses are in the cabinet to your left. Paracetamol are upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."

The normality did seem to settle the older woman and she followed Emma round the room with her eyes. As Emma took the glasses and filled them from the sink and gave one to the brunette she was discretely studying her. The change from the broken woman with hunched shoulders she had walked in on was dramatic, and Emma could only deduce had something to do with the vial sitting on the counter. Now Regina's focus had been broken away from it she had picked up and become alive again. Her posture was straight, Emma noticed tears were still sparkling in her eyes, but she seemed to be much more aware of where she was.

Regina broke the silence between them, "Do you honestly feel nothing when you look at that vial?"

Emma stood and hunched over the counter, getting nearer to the bottle without touching it and yet she still didn't understand why Regina seemed to fear the object. She had no reaction to it at all.

"Nothing". The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "You obviously feel something about it."

The statement hung in the air between them.

Eventually Regina hummed that Emma was correct.

"You're going to make me do this the hard way aren't you?" Emma sighed.

Brown eyes that shimmered with more tears connected with hers. "It upsets me."

"I think it more than upsets you."

"I don't understand why it doesn't upset you. I think it is safe for you, would you try and touch it again?"

So Emma reached out and picked up the glass. It felt cool in her hand, but no different to any other glass she had held. As she moved the vial away from the table, further from Regina, the liquid inside it bubbled less.

Regina watched this and felt the coldness she felt diminish slightly. She knew with certainty this had been made specifically for her. Somehow the devious Dark One had managed to get something precious and personal to her and cast a spell with it. It would have to be something like blood or hair and combined with old and powerful magic that even in her years of training she wasn't sure she had come across. She thought back and remembered she had often been wounded when she was a novice with magic. She supposed that ever the collector and opportunist, Rumpelstiltskin had healed her with magic but taken some blood at the same time. She had never known. She dreaded to think what else she didn't know he had taken or done without her knowledge.

"Can you bring it closer to me?" Regina asked, her throat constricted and she steeled herself for the onslaught of negativity being near the liquid brought to her.

Emma gingerly stepped closer and they both watched as the liquid became more animated and started to jump in the bottle. Emma could see Regina's face begin to contort and a tear leaked from her eye. Her hand was clenched in her lap and that was when Emma decided they had experimented enough. She turned and put the vial in the far corner of the kitchen, the furthest away she could from the brunette.

"Thank you." She looked up and tried to smile at the blonde, but it didn't work, she was so tired and there was just emptiness filling her.

"No offence Regina, but you look pretty crappy. I think you need to come back to bed. We can deal with this in the morning. I'm right aren't I? Moving it away from you helps?"

"Yes it definitely limits its effects the further away from it I am."

"It is magical, so it has to be from Gold right?"

The brunette just nodded.

"I knew he wouldn't just give up. I should have watched him closer."

Emma was annoyed at herself, however Regina didn't know what the blonde was talking about and she felt left out of something important. There was the slightest hint of anger in her voice as she queried,

"What are you rambling about Miss Swan?"

"Gold was hanging round the Station when you were in my care. He made vague threats and seemed to take great pleasure in telling me her had found his True Love and that you would suffer for her imprisonment. He really is a vile human being." Emma summed up.

"You should have told me." There was no bite in the voice, just resignation. It worried Emma more than she wanted to admit.

"I forgot, honestly. I was kind of busy caring for this really sick woman at the time. Plus I had to work out how to deal with my parents, a small and stroppy child and arrange moving into a new flat!"

"Don't call Henry stroppy." And more tears started to fall down caramel skin.

"I was being flippant, you know I love him and didn't mean it. Don't let my sarcasm upset you."

Emma realised how very unstable Regina was. She wasn't entirely certain what it did, but from the way the brunette was behaving the vial must have managed to erode a lot of her confidence. Emma probably thought it was causing the nightmares and flashbacks too. She concluded it was made to mess with someone's head in the worst way and she was torn between wanting to take Regina back to bed and hold her or go and beat down Gold's door and punch the miserable excuse for a man in the face. Hard. And repeatedly.

She knew Regina needed her more and looked at the half finished glass of water.

"Drink up and I'll refill that and we can go back to bed. Am I still welcome to stay?" Emma was taking baby steps around the brunette, checking she wasn't doing anything that would make things worse.

Regina just bobbed her head and reached for the glass. She was letting Emma lead her and it was so alien to the blonde. It wasn't at all like the woman she knew. She hoped the woman was just shocked and hurt, buried deep inside her protective shell. If this was the new Regina then Gold had finally managed to strip everything from her and that would hurt other people, particularly Emma and Henry and that was just not acceptable to her.

As they climbed the stairs Emma felt Regina's grip on her tighten. As they got to the bedroom door she excused herself and walked along to hallway to the main bathroom. Emma watched her go, her steps were steady, her shoulders and posture didn't quite have the usual crisp and determined Regina Mills stance, but Emma knew the woman was completely running on empty. She could be forgiven a little slouching.

Emma let herself into the bedroom and took off her jeans and shirt. She knew there were only a few hours left before morning, but she didn't plan on sleeping in her clothes. Regina had obviously had the same thought as she walked in moments later in silk pyjamas and carrying a packet of paracetamol. Emma greedily took the pills and knocked them back with her water.

As Regina slipped into the bed she moaned as her back hit the mattress, the weight taken from all the muscles in her tired and aching body and finally being able to relax. Emma hovered on the other side of the bed, unsure whether Regina wanted to be close or left alone.

"I feel so empty, so cold and lonely." Regina muttered, her face looking at the ceiling. Emma didn't need telling twice, she scooted across the bed and pulled the brunette into her arms.

She placed a kiss on the forehead and gently stroked the brown hair. She felt tears fall onto her bare chest and leaned closer to kiss them away too. "You're not alone." she whispered.

"It was horrible, it sucked everything good from me, left me reliving the darkest parts of my past. I don't know if I can ever feel anything good again, I feel hollow."

"Ssshh." The blonde pulled her closer and looked into her eyes. She didn't mean to, she would swear later she only did it on impulse, to try and take away the sadness she had seen, but she gently placed her lips over Regina's and kissed her. It was sweet, chaste, and over in a second.

But one kiss became two, and then three and they weren't lasting just a second anymore as Regina kissed her back. They were still gentle and slow, closed mouthed and exchanging tender moments of affection rather than heated and passionate but Emma knew she had to stop so she pulled away and buried her face into the brunette's hair.

"Don't stop." Regina breathed out and Emma pulled back and looked at her.

"You make me feel _something._ Don't for god's sake stop." Regina's eyes did have a spark in them but Emma wasn't sure that wasn't just a trick of the light or her own desire to see the brunette look a little like her old self.

"You're exhausted, I shouldn't have kissed you and confused you." But Emma didn't move her body away so when the brunette placed her hand at the back of Emma's neck and pulled her closer so she could resume kissing her lips Emma let her.

It was slow, if Emma had thought about it there was care in every caress, it was gentle, it was a lot like making love. But she didn't think anymore, she was tired of guessing and playing games. Regina had said she wanted to, and maybe it was only so she filled the empty void inside of her but Emma had stopped questioning and just did what felt right.

And Regina felt right, her body pressed against her and under her. There was lots of kissing, stroking and soft touches. Emma ghosted her fingers down Regina's side and felt the woman exhale. She ran her hands over the brunette's chest and danced her fingers delicately across the tight skin of her stomach. She rolled a nipple between her fingers and knew from the arching of Regina's back she didn't want this to stop. When Emma dropped her head to the breast and tongued the nipple Regina grasped her hips hard and the word "Yessss" dropped from her lips.

Emma placed kisses down the caramel covered skin, until she was nestled between thighs she knew well but seemed to be seeing clearly for the first time. She knew Regina liked her to use her tongue on her clit while her fingers set up a pumping rhythm inside her. Emma felt her fingers inch wanting to be engulfed in the wetness, but she didn't want this to be like the hard and violent sex they had had before. She spread the woman's lips and placed kisses against the hot and wet flesh before running her tongue round the hard nub of Regina's clit. She heard the woman whimper and knew it was one of the sexiest things she had ever heard.

When they had been together before Regina fought hard so she gave nothing away. It meant every moan and cry of pleasure Emma pulled from the woman now was new to her and sounded like heaven. It was arousing in itself to hear the usually calm and collected woman use a lower tone to her voice and husk out dirty words and suggestions when they were flirting. This was something else and Emma felt her own body respond and she knew her panties would be doing very little to hide the wetness seeping from her.

Emma took her time, she focused mainly on Regina's clit but she alternated from swirling round it to applying direct pressure with the flat of her tongue and only when she knew the woman was getting close did she enter her with two fingers and curl them to rub against the patch of sensitive skin.

"Oh Emma…" Regina breathed out as her body spasmed, the thighs next to the blonde's head twitched and shook with the orgasm travelling through the woman below her.

Emma let her lover settle and then moved up her body, dropping kisses against the flushed skin. The kiss they shared felt right to both of them deep down and helped set a satisfied smile on Regina's face.

Emma shifted and cuddled in behind her and she tried to turn round and ask about Emma's needs but the blonde just shushed her. Emma knew the brunette was exhausted, her needs could wait.

She breathed in the scent from the brunette's hair and held her close. It wasn't long before the sound of soft and regular breathing came from both of them as they drifted off after an exhausting few hours.


	10. The Morning After

Well a new week and another update.

Slowly getting there, sorry I am struggling, but am grateful to everyone who is following, making a favourite or reviewing.

Enjoy!

* * *

Regina woke up in her bed, her head hurt and her mouth was dry. She moved her arm to shield her eyes, the sunlight was streaming through the window as the curtains hadn't been closed the night before, her eyes were sensitive to the light and turning away from the brightness was causing her head to pound every time she moved it. Her throat was parched and her body ached. She poked her tongue out to wet her lips, tasting the muskiness on them. She remembered then why her body ached and the taste was her own from the lingering kiss she had shared with Emma after she had gone down on her last night. Regina immediately put a hand out to see if the other side of the bed was occupied.

No Emma, her hand came back empty.

Regina didn't know if she was angry, disappointed or glad. She was no-where near as fragile as she had been last night, she had been able to sleep soundly and the sex had made her feel wanted and had driven the cold and unbearably sad feelings away. Would she really have wanted an awkward morning after with Henry's other mother? There were bound to have been more questions and Regina might have been pressed into giving more of herself away. She had to admit she was a bit surprised Emma had left, she had thought the sex bordered on something more significant to them both, but she might have been that tired she just imagined it.

Never being one to dwell on things, Regina swung her legs out of the bed and gingerly ran her hand through her tussled hair. Coffee, that was what she needed, and a glass of water and some pain killers. She'd get up, shower, eat something, take some medicine and then make a decision about what to do.

When she stood up and stretched, she knew she had a problem. Her eyes were sore from crying, and yes she was hung over, but her body hummed in a satisfied , warm way that she found comforting and her tongue licked out over her lips again, savouring the taste Emma had left behind. She felt guilt somewhere inside her she hadn't finished the other woman off. Maybe that was why she had disappeared without a trace. But Regina knew she shouldn't feel guilty about her actions, that would imply she cared about someone else. That wasn't the way she operated, the only person who mattered to her was Henry, it was his opinion of her and how he perceived that her actions affected others that she cared for. She didn't bond with other people, she didn't share feelings or need comfort, that was dangerous and allowing them close meant they could hurt you.

And Emma obviously didn't care, otherwise she would have stayed. Regina felt anger spike within her and with it came the anger for the Imp. She had been too shell shocked last night for it to register, but he had tried to poison her, maybe even kill her. And she was powerless to challenge him without magic, but that didn't stop her being furious at his deception and the anger bubbled inside her, making her head hurt more than it had before.

Despite Regina's flawed assessment of the situation, Emma hadn't for once in her life run away because she wanted to. She had been unbelievably torn about leaving the other woman, but she knew how tired the brunette was and decided it would be best if she was left alone to sleep.

It had been 9am before Emma had left the mansion, it was the latest she could leave and still pop back to see and check on Henry, reassure her parents who were kid sitting Henry that she was alive and alright after a night spent out, quickly shower and then get to work. At least it was a weekend and a short shift, they were usually quiet and she hoped today would be no different. She had a visit she wanted to make to a certain pawn shop owner, and she wanted the time to speak to him without interruption.

She had been careful and stealthy and managed to get out of Regina's room and then her house without waking the other woman. She had found some paper and jotted a note, leaving it on top of the decorative nest of tables in the hallway.

 _Left you to sleep, hope that was the right thing to do. Will swing by later to discuss Gold's present. Please don't go near it. Call me if you need anything._

She had also written _Last night was_ but then stopped as she didn't know how to finish that. Amazing? Regina suffering and crying uncontrollably wasn't amazing. It had been oddly satisfying that Regina opened up to the blonde but she didn't think she could convey that in a note and then the sex had been something new and different to them both. Shaking her head she tore the bottom of the note off and stuffed it into her pocket.

* * *

"How can I help you Dearie?"

Emma walked into the dust and gloom of the shop and fixed her gaze on the proprietor.

"I have something that I need you to understand."

"And what would that be?"

"You need to leave Regina alone. We found the vial you placed in her house, I saw the sick side effects it had on her."

"She is obviously still alive then, more is the pity."

"Shut up, she is the mother of my son, do you think of nothing else but your own twisted gains? What if she had died, had taken her own life? What do you think that would do to Henry?"

"The boy would be better off without her influence. Although I do have to give her credit, she must have great strength to have lasted so long against the potion. I did mix it to be quite strong. I readily admit I had expected her to succumb to it."

"You really are a conceited bastard!"

"Now Sheriff, there is no need to get abusive. You know you would both be better off without her influence."

"What does that mean?"

"Been spending quite a lot of time with our fallen Queen, haven't we? And now coming in here like her own personal White Knight, what am I meant to think?"

"I am charged with keeping law and order in this town, protecting its citizens. All of them. Regina is as much a part of this town as anyone. This was a threat on her life, I should lock you up."

Gold just hummed, not believing a word. He continued, "But you won't, because you know my magic won't be caged."

"That doesn't mean you are above the law or can behave as you wish. Stop this vendetta against Regina now."

"Or what? Your positioning for bargaining is weak Sheriff. You hold no cards in this game. And you still owe me a favour. However I will give you this advice for free. The Queen is dangerous. She is selfish and very damaged, more so after the curse broke. Like any wounded animal getting too close can be hazardous, she will hurt and break you and likely your son too. Let me do everyone a favour and finish her off."

"No."

"Quite protective, Sheriff. Has she got her claws that far into you?"

"Shut up. She is doing her best to change and be better. She deserves a chance to make amends. At least she is trying, unlike you."

"Why should I change, I am quite happy. Are you happy Sheriff Swan? Do you think the Queen is happy? Is she _satisfied?_ "

Emma knew she flushed, she shouldn't have but she was tired and memories of last night were still fresh in her mind. She usually had a better control on her emotions and her reactions. Gold just smirked at her discomfort.

"How will Mommy dearest take the news you have been intimate with the Queen?"

"That is none of your concern."

"You haven't denied it my Dear. Probably wise, I had seen the looks between you, growing in intensity for months since you first set foot in town. It was only a matter of time before the smouldering glances ignited, the standing just a little too close became a welcome invasion into each other's space. With The Huntsman out of the picture I'm not surprised the Queen looked for new blood, fresh meat, another bed warmer. Then there was the display at The Rabbit Hole last night which really was the icing on the cake. You should really be more discrete, people won't like the Saviour bedding the Evil Queen."

"I don't give a damn whether people approve." _I care for her_ she wanted to add, but knew such arguments were useless in this shop against this man. It would just give him information to use against her, so she stopped herself from the admission.

"Even if they are your own parents?" His eyes glinted malevolently.

"Is that a threat?"

"Merely an opportunity for me to benefit from your…. Stupidity? Lack of control? Poor judgement?"

"I suppose you want another favour to keep quiet?" Emma was clenching her jaw, he was making her angry, getting under her skin. She was spitting her words at him.

"That might be a nice gesture on your part."

"Well get stuffed. You can't make your way through life blackmailing people and profiting from their misery."

"I seem to have done very well doing just that, Saviour."

Emma twitched, she hated the name and the smugness radiating from the man stood before her. A man who was still standing leaning on his cane, not intimidated by her stance, her words, her title of Sheriff or Saviour. He knew his magic could trump everything she had and he refused to back down. Emma knew it had been a vain hope, that trying to appeal to the man's better nature was a slim chance, he had so little goodness in him.

The bell over the doorway to the shop jingled as Belle walked in and immediately the stance of the man softened and a smile caught at the corner of his lips.

Emma jumped on the opportunity. "You have Belle back, she was cared for and returned to you."

"Yes." Gold grudgingly admitted.

"Then don't you think murder and cold blooded killing is a little extreme for your revenge?" Emma pressed, knowing Belle would be hearing every word.

"Rumple, what is she talking about?" Confusion clouded the pretty features of the woman.

"My revenge on the Queen for taking you away from me. For locking you up and making you suffer for years." The man pulled his shoulders back and meet his love's gaze. "I planted something in her house to make her suffer equally in return."

"But Rumple," And Emma heard the reproachful tone she used, "Regina has hardly been seen since the curse broke. She was beaten and broken in the attack, you knew that. I thought you'd decided that was punishment enough?"

"She took you from me, she told me you were dead! I only did it for you My Love."

Emma wanted to shiver, the words made her skin crawl. Belle could do so much better than this flawed creature. She might be conflicted about Regina, but she had voiced the truth earlier, at least she was trying to be better. This man only did things for his own personal gain and Belle was a sweet young girl, whatever hold The Imp had Emma failed to see it or understand.

"Then for me please stop. I don't want you to continue to victimise Regina. She did lock me up, because she hated you. And I know what you did to her, how you manipulated her and why she hates you. I understand her actions, twisted as they were. Back in the Enchanted Forest you were forever trying to score points off each other, to hurt and harm the other. And you both suffered, and so did your loved ones. We can't continue this here, you have me back and Regina has people she cares for."

Belle smiled shyly at Emma who flushed and tried to look away. The long haired brunette continued, "It is too much to risk and lose. It was me she wronged and I have forgiven her. Please let go of the grudge and the past, concentrate on our future together." And she reached over and wrapped her hands over his so they rested on the cane together.

"Put the groceries away Belle, I will conclude my business with the Sheriff and join you for tea shortly."

Once the woman who had captured his heart and was trying to turn him from the darkness was safely out of earshot he continued,

"Well played Sheriff, and I will honour Belle's wishes, but remember you still owe me a favour and be careful with The Queen, it would be a serious error in judgement to let you guard down around her."

"I can look after myself, thanks."

"Can you? You shun your parents to cavort with the woman who made their lives hell. And she did that because she couldn't stand their happiness. She doesn't understand love, that is why she had empty sexual encounters with people. From your reactions here you seem a little more invested than an empty sexual encounter. Be careful Emma, I know her better than anyone, she is incapable of what you want from her."

"I don't want anything from her, I want her to be allowed to live and be left alone, to love Henry. It isn't for me."

"Don't lie to yourself Dearie, she means something to you, and I promise you that never ends well. Her Stable Boy and her Father both paid the price for loving her."

"It isn't love, it is just circumstance, Henry ties us together."

"If you say so." His whole demeanour said he didn't believe her, and Emma turned and stalked from the shop, hating the man almost as much as before, she was just grateful she had managed to get him to agree to leave Regina alone.

* * *

Regina had been getting worse as the minutes turned into hours during the day. She was furious at herself for the way she had behaved, she hated herself for showing any kind of weakness and the unstoppable crying had been embarrassing. She had sought comfort in the arms and soothing voice of someone else, her façade had cracked and her insecurities had leaked out to be seen and analysed.

She also didn't want to go into her kitchen, so there was no coffee. She could drink water from the bathroom and make do, but if she wanted to eat something and take care of her hungover body she needed to go into the kitchen or out to Granny's. She didn't know which was worse, fighting the sickening feelings from her kitchen, or going outside to be scorned at and having to be pleasant to the townsfolk. She decided she wasn't that hungry and went back to the bathroom to get fresh water and painkillers.

Her anger grew all day and having no-one to scheme against, no-one to vent her wrath at, meant that the first person to cross her path received the whole maelstrom thrown at them. Emma came by after work, her night of fitful sleep and the argument with Gold had reminded her that late nights of drinking and staying up mostly until dawn were for young people, and pushing thirty wasn't old, but it meant she didn't have the stamina she once did. She was tired, Gold had played his word games and she had spent too much energy concentrating to make sure she didn't fall foul of one of his devious and crafty schemes that only benefited him.

After leaving his shop she had also had too many thoughts floating around in her head, questions she didn't want there. The strangely observant and obnoxious little man was good at reading people, it was made him so good at his deal making, and Emma shuddered at what he had told her. Truths she was trying to keep buried and deny to herself, he had seen and been blunt enough to ask her about. She was only certain of one thing, love was too strong a word. She might be losing herself to her emotions, might be struggling with how she felt, but it wasn't love. It had just been a long few days and she needed to have some alone time, space to rest and relax.

She didn't need to be attacked the minute she walked through the front door of the mansion. However Regina had spent the day stewing and didn't seem to care about Emma's bad day. She didn't notice the slump in the shoulders or the tired smile, attack was all she could think of.

She didn't even wait until they were sat down, she turned to the blonde when they reached the doorway to the Den.

"Last night was a mistake. I should have never let you come home with me. You took advantage of me."

"What!? I took advantage of you? You told me not to stop!"

"I was ill from the potion, you knew that. I wasn't thinking straight and you followed me to bed and knew I wasn't strong enough to fight you off."

"Are you alleging rape here?" Emma was indignant, she had expected Regina to have got control of her emotions and be in a much better place than last night, she hadn't expected this.

"It wouldn't hold up in a court of law, I invited you home, there are no bruises to indicate you forced me, rape is a strong word Emma. No, it wasn't rape."

Regina looked away, she was at war with herself, she knew what rape was, and she had experience. What had happened with Emma had scared her. It had been tender, she had wanted it as much as the blonde, it certainly wasn't rape. It had been consensual and very much what Regina had needed, to feel wanted and human again.

So she shut the insecure little voice away and concentrated on the cold voice she often heard, _Love is Weakness._ With love came comfort and care, the things Emma had shown last night. All of it was weakness, to be stamped on so it didn't flower and grow. It needed to be contained and condemned.

Where Emma ran when things got too much for her, Regina regressed to the Evil Queen, she felt strong and commanding with the mask in place. And with the Evil Queen came anger, came the strength to be alone. Emma needed to understand Regina didn't need love, that this wasn't the beginnings of a relationship, so Regina was pushing the other woman away before she got any crazy or stupid ideas this was more than it should be. They co-parented Henry, they had in the past engaged in angry sex, horrific experiences tied them together despite both of them wishing they didn't, but they were not close.

Last night had been more than a mistake for the brunette, she had opened up, allowed the blonde to see the intimate parts of herself she kept hidden away and she was partly ashamed, but mostly angry. She couldn't get to the Imp and make him suffer for reducing her to that needy and clingy person, but she could take it out on Emma and make her see that that weak person was gone.

And shortly after the raised voices ceased as the blonde was gone too. Slamming the door and walking down the sidewalk with her head held high, despite a nagging feeling that she had just done exactly what Regina wanted. The words she had thrown back in anger were already sinking in and she was feeling the beginning of regret.

"Well don't worry, I understand how _terribly hard_ it must have been to have me hold you all night so you could sleep feeling safe."

Emma had felt her self-control slip. She was the Sheriff, she diffused arguments and dealt with drunks and spent her day holding her temper and setting the example. Why when it came to this woman could she not remain objective? Why did they immediately raise their voices and start attacking each other?

"I was exhausted Miss Swan, I'd have slept anywhere. Don't think you being there made any difference at all."

"Well don't worry, it won't happen again. I have no intention of warming your bed or being anywhere closer to you than I have to be for Henry's sake."

"I think that is for the best Miss Swan, as I said, it was a mistake."

"Fine." Emma spat it out, the brunette had managed to make her feel dirty and used and heavily insinuated she had been the sexual aggressor in the events. Emma was livid, she had only held the woman and reassured her, how dare she imply Emma had done it for her own gain and needs?

As she walked away she felt a heavy weight settle in her chest. The blonde didn't know what she had expected to happen, maybe small awkward steps round each other, possibly Regina even ignoring what had happened last night and them discussing the vial and making plans to get rid of the offending object as friends. To be dismissed so thoroughly and without dealing with the vial made Emma uneasy. So did telling the older woman their sexual history was just that. History, the past. Emma was already thinking she should have held her tongue, taken the backlash from the brunette and tried to work out what was causing the distress in the other woman.

She was the Sheriff, a detective of sorts, and yet she couldn't work out Regina, couldn't piece together why the woman reacted like she did, all passion and fire. All Emma knew was that every time they came together it was hot and intense and seemed to turn her on. Even when they argued, Emma felt the tension buzz through her veins, it made her feel alive. It of course tended to turn off her analytical side, she stopped being rational around the woman, instead going with gut feelings and raw emotions.

Right now she was being pushed away and it seemed unfair, but then most of Regina's actions towards her were unfair. Stamping down the pavement Emma's anger was dissipating and her logic was creeping back. Regina didn't like the new dynamic of their relationship, one where she wasn't in control. She had panicked and lashed out. And Emma had let her, had reared up and been as hostile and aggressive as the other woman. She shook her head and blew out a breath, knowing she had behaved exactly as the brunette had wanted. Emma had helped Regina push her away, had helped create the distance between them the brunette felt she needed.

"Damn." she muttered, pulling her leather jacket closer round her. She was going to go home, grab the kid and drown her sorrows and push the nagging thoughts away with a greasy cheese burger, fries, a thick shake and a bear claw or two for dessert at Granny's. She was certain the kid wouldn't complain, he had never turned his nose up at her cooking, but Emma was well aware it wasn't her strongest suit. He loved Granny's, from the customers who idolised him to the unhealthy, fatty and fried food that Regina had always limited his intake of. She knew there would always be a booth for them at the Diner, despite how busy it was on a Saturday night.

* * *

Regina hadn't thought this through, she hadn't eaten anything as she was concerned about going into her kitchen. She was concerned which was a sensible and understandable emotion, she was not scared. It was just that the kitchen was where the vial was, and she didn't want to go near it. She felt the pull at her emotions just standing in the doorway.

It was also where the food was and the coffee and everything she needed to function like a human being and she had just sent the only person willing to help her away. Emma who hadn't judged her for her breakdown, Emma who knew all about the poisonous potion, Emma who could help her and was the only person likely to come visiting. She was now left with no choice, she had to go outside and to the diner.

She kicked herself as she grabbed her coat and clutch, this was unnecessary. She'd get a salad and coffee to take away and once she had eaten maybe she could think more clearly about how to remove the vial from the house.

* * *

Emma looked at her burger and smiled. She had been too tired to cook, that was why they were here. It wasn't comfort food, she was nearly thirty and past such juvenile things. She had had a falling out with Regina but a row with the brunette was no reason to binge eat. It smelled delicious and Henry's smile settled her and made her feel better about everything. She was sure Regina would calm down, she just needed time.

Emma cursed her own luck when Henry suddenly stood and called out, "Mom!"

What were the odds? Emma couldn't remember the last time Regina had come out of her house, let alone somewhere public like the Diner. Unfortunately Henry didn't see her face fall and rushed over to his brunette mother.

"Come and join us, it's busy, you won't get a seat." He beamed at the woman and she smiled back down at him and then flicked her eyes in Emma's direction. She just shrugged, a non-committal gesture leaving the choice with the brunette.

"I was going to order to take away Henry."

"Well now you don't need to! Come on, there's loads of space, we've got a booth."

Regina looked down at her son, who seemed genuinely to want to be with her and nodded pensively. It was going to be awkward but with Henry between them as a distraction she was sure they could sit together.

She allowed herself to be dragged over to the window seat and when Ruby came over to pour her a coffee and take her order she didn't feel quite so out of place with Henry at her side. She blew on the coffee and sipped tentatively at the hot liquid, the burn feeling good as it went down her throat. The smell that hung in the air of brewing coffee and frying food hit her and she realised how hungry she was, her empty stomach spasmed and she heard it rumble unbecomingly.

She felt the flush rise on her cheeks and Henry grinned.

"You sound hungry. You should have ordered more than a salad! Have one of my fries until yours arrives." Henry was waving the piece of potato in front of her face and she took it gently from his fingers.

"Thank you Henry."

"Have you not eaten today?" Henry was watching her as she ate the French fry, his head tipped quizzically to the side so his long hair got into his eyes and he sat blinking before he run his hand through the hair and sat up straight.

"You need a haircut." Regina changed the topic of conversation, and Henry shrugged but Emma noticed the evasive nature of it.

She felt bad, she knew why Regina hadn't eaten anything, her kitchen was a no-go area, and Emma hadn't thought about it before she had left in the morning. Admittedly she had expected to go back in the afternoon and remove the object, and it wasn't her fault that the brunette had blown up and the object remained in the kitchen, but still, Emma felt guilty about it.

"Hey" Emma tried to catch Regina's eye, but the brunette was steadfastly looking at either Henry or out of the window.

"Do you want a lift home after we've eaten?" The blonde continued to try and engage the older woman.

"Yeah Mom, it's getting cold and dark, let us take you home."

"It's very generous of Miss Swan to offer Henry, but the fresh air will help. I've been cooped up in my house for too long, the exercise will be refreshing too."

Emma wanted to cringe at the way even when referring to her in the third person Regina could make her name sound disdainful. Even Henry noticed.

"Miss Swan? I thought you called her Emma now? Has something happened between you guys? And why haven't you eaten today?" The questions came thick and fast as he thought things through and they fell out of his mouth without censor.

"Henry" Emma tried to calm him down and slow the rapid fire questions, "Your Mom just came out for a bite to eat, she doesn't need the Spanish Inquisition."

"What is going on? You stayed the other night, I thought you were getting along?" He looked at Regina who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. She was tired and drawn and Emma could see she had cleverly made herself up with makeup but her eyes were still lacking sparkle and that under careful scrutiny it was obvious she had been through a rough night.

"We are getting along Henry." Emma lied.

"And I have eaten." Regina also lied.

Henry saw through them both. He stood up and grabbed his plate of food. "I'm going to sit over there and eat, you two can sort it out and come and get me when you are ready to tell the truth. You have until I've eaten, then I'm walking home."

Regina sunk back into the upholstery of the cushion, she should have stayed at home and gone hungry.

Emma just sat looking at the table, hunched over and watching her hands that she had laced together.

"We need to tell him something." Regina eventually spoke. She had been watching Henry and the food on his plate was slowly disappearing. She had no doubt he'd hold them to his time line, he was as stubborn as she was and she had learnt the hard way he followed through when he thought he was in the right.

"Ok. We had a disagreement, we can agree on that?" Emma suggested.

"Yes, but he will want to know about what. What do we say?" Regina wanted to suggest they co-parent as she had been parented, strictly, aggressively, they should stamp down on Henry's demanding nature and not bow down to him. He was after all a child and they should be seen and not heard. They should not ask impertinent questions, they should obey their parents and not dictate. However she was well aware how she felt about her own parents, she didn't respect them, she feared her mother and had a warped love for her father. She had long since stopped using their parenting techniques, it would be a little late to start now, just because she didn't want to make amends with Emma or answer the difficult questions it posed. She wanted an honest and loving relationship with her boy, she had previously nurtured his inquisitive side and now had to suffer when he used it against her.

"We sail as close to the truth as we can I guess. How about you misunderstood something I did and got angry?"

"It was not my fault. I had a legitimate reason for getting angry, you took advantage of me!" Regina's eyes sparked with silent indignation, her voice was low and Emma knew she had tried for threatening. Had she not been trying to be so quiet in a crowded room she might have succeeded.

"I did no such thing, I left your bed this morning frustrated and horny. If it had been about dominance and taking advantage don't you think I might have left satisfied?" Emma was losing her temper and her voice was beginning to rise.

Regina looked panicked that people might overhear the conversation. Whatever else she might be, Regina was a politician and knew how she needed to play this to save the mood of the conversation. If she didn't she was aware that things would escalate and she might be left with a diner full of people who were well aware how she and the Sheriff had spent last night.

"Emma, please lower your voice. I only mean I was vulnerable last night, I wasn't myself." Regina would never have had this conversation with the blonde, let alone in a crowded diner, but if she walked out then Henry would only have more questions and lose faith in her. She was stuck in this uncomfortable position trying to iron out her differences with the blonde.

"I know, it was nice to see a softer side to you." Emma went with heartfelt honesty, she wanted to reach out and clasp her hand with the one opposite her, but she refrained, they were in public and any display of affection would be taken badly by the woman opposite.

"I should never have let you stay and see me like that, it was a mistake."

"Your mistake then?" Emma pushed and Regina wanted to cringe.

"Fine, my mistake." She hated the words, hated being forced to say them and admit she had made a mistake. She waited for the mocking or punishment to start, mistakes in her life were always followed up with corrective coaching or some kind of painful reminder.

"Have you really not eaten all day?" Emma changed the topic, like she hadn't heard the words. The only thing that gave Regina any insight that they had been said out loud was the small smile that played at Emma's pale lips.

"I couldn't even go into the kitchen to make coffee this morning. I don't know if I'm strong enough to risk being near it."

"I'm sorry I should have thought about that and taken it with me. We tell Henry in a way he'll understand, that it is like Superman and Kryptonite? And I left it in your kitchen this morning and it needs to be removed and kept somewhere safe away from you. You can blame me for that."

"How very adult of you Miss Swan."

"Hey I'm trying here, it means we can drive you home and then I'll take the vial home with me. What do you suggest doing with it, pouring it down the sink? Taking it outside of town so it loses its magic?"

"I think it needs to stay in the bottle, if you smash it or open it I think the liquid in it will be drawn to me. I shudder to think what will happen if it touches my bare skin. I doubt you will be able to take it past the town line, Gold will have enchanted it and like all Storybrooke objects, they can't leave just like their owners. I think we bury it far away on the edge of the town line, hopefully no-one will ever find it or dig it up and I will be safe from it. Would you please do that for me?"

Regina didn't look at the blonde when she made her request, it clearly made here uncomfortable and she was again looking out of the window, studying nothing in the semi darkness.

"Yes I will do that for you, now we had better call the Kid back and explain as best we can. Are you ready?"

"No, but I'll do it anyway. Then I'll take my aggression out on Ruby, my salad should have been here five minutes ago!"

Emma looked up and locked eyes with her werewolf friend who was leaning on the counter and had been watching the exchange. Emma suspected the salad had been ready at least five minutes ago, but seeing the two women locked in a heated conversation had kept the waitress away. She flashed her friend a grin, held up her hand with the two fore fingers raised as a signal to let the woman give them another two minutes with Henry and mouthed "Sorry" to her. Ruby nodded and shrugged back at her, she had worse run ins with the Mayor, now she was just a rude and hungry woman who wanted her food, Ruby would take her a fresh coffee refill and let her vent. She could see something was developing between her friend and the older brunette and if allowing Regina to shout at Ruby helped Emma out she could live with it. She was still unsure Emma knew what she was doing, but with friendly support she hoped to limit the damage it did to everyone involved.


	11. Twisted Attraction

Hi, another longer update - hopefully it might make up for the long time it took to make it to the forum!

Mature warning - Smut, Smut, Smut - if that isn't your thing stop reading after the first half of the chapter.

Hope you enjoy. Thanks for the feedback.

* * *

Emma thought about the last time, Regina had implied Emma had been the instigator, Emma thought it was an even match but had given up fighting as the brunette was so stubborn and Emma knew things would deteriorate even further between them if she didn't rise above it.

Emma had been caught watching her but likewise Regina had done a fair share of ogling, and Emma knew the brunette's appraising look had been predatory. There was heat in the gaze, desire mixed with jealousy and Emma had felt those eyes burn on her all night. They had been evaluating her body, and Emma knew the conclusion was that Regina wanted her. It had definitely been that look that made Emma brave enough to go over and flirt with the woman. The way Regina had looked away every time Emma tried to make eye contact only made Emma smile harder, she was flattered by the attention and with the alcohol she had consumed it gave her the confidence to follow through.

But she wasn't going to argue, it was pointless. Regina had made up her mind that it was a mistake, Emma knew better than to continue to fight, from previous encounters with the Mayor she knew it never changed things and only ended up making her feel tired, drained and irritable. Eventually the cold shoulder had to thaw a little, given time to move away from how raw and exposed Regina obviously felt, Emma knew she needed to be patient.

They hadn't spoken about anything meaningful since the argument the previous weekend. Emma had taken the vial and buried it far out in the woods and Regina had been grudgingly grateful, but things were frosty between them when Emma dropped or collected Henry. Sensing something was off between his Mothers Henry fired numerous questions and suggestions at Emma, but despite his best efforts things remained cool but at least calm between the two women.

Emma wanted to discuss things, move on from the rejection she felt, get some clarity about what their relationship was. Emma had thought that if nothing else, they had been becoming friendly. And Emma's opinion was that Regina needed a friend. Regina might not need a lover, but it was always good to have someone to talk to and trust and surely she was lonely in the mansion on her own day after day. Emma didn't understand the complete shutdown, the extreme distance the brunette seemed to want and welcome. If it was a mistake then why couldn't they talk about it and put it behind them?

They now found themselves in a situation where Regina was wound so tightly, was even more guarded and protected than usual. Emma was certain the brunette felt violated, felt she had given too much of herself away that night, and it hurt Emma that she didn't trust her. Emma wasn't going to broadcast what she knew or what had happened that night. She thought they had reached an uneasy truce and understood each other better than that. But Regina's recent behaviour seemed to blow a big hole in that and Emma felt disappointed about it.

Emma had no doubt Henry was also doggedly questioning his other mother, but if Regina didn't want to discuss something even Henry wouldn't be able to crack her and get any information. Even Snow had raised an eyebrow after over hearing a phone call where Henry had asked his mother to collect him and she had asked him to walk over instead. Emma refused to meet her mother's quizzical stare, if Regina didn't want to see Emma that was fine. It wasn't like a walk in the fresh air of Storybrooke would hurt Henry, he was growing up, and no-one would dare hurt him, he was loved by everyone.

Emma wiped her hands on her jeans, they were suddenly clammy. If Snow and Charming had noticed something amiss with Regina's behaviour and the look implied Snow knew it had something to do with their daughter, Emma began to wonder exactly what they did know. Did they have any idea about her dirty secret, her late nights out? Had her parents seen or heard something she didn't want them to? Or was Snow just concerned and thought Emma was the closest person to Regina, the closest thing to a friend and the look was innocently asking whether things were ok between the two women? It could just be Emma's guilty conscience that imagined there was more to the look than there was.

Emma did walk in on a hushed conversation between her mother and grandson that quickly ended when she sauntered over, but she assumed Snow was just curious about how distant Regina was being and was using Henry to assess whether her council of advisors should treat this odd behaviour as a threat. Now she wasn't sure that conversation had been as innocent as she had first assumed and she felt a flutter of panic in her chest. She loved her parents and didn't want them to find out what would be 2 very shocking pieces of information at all, but if they did have to find out, she wanted to be the one to tell them. Having no idea how to even begin the conversation she shied away, not telling them she was attracted to women or that it was a specific woman in Storybrooke, a stunningly beautiful but flawed ex Queen and Mayor who her parents hated.

When Emma had overheard the conversation she had to bite her tongue at the time, she hadn't thought the word _curious_ about her mother, she had thought nosey and interfering. But with hindsight and now the unsettlingly feeling she was experiencing Emma knew nosey and interfering weren't stupid. Her mother did pry and ask questions and maybe she had manage to fit all the odd and random pieces together. Maybe Emma hadn't been as careful as she thought and her mother did have an inkling her friendship with Regina had progressed much further than being platonic.

Her mother walked out of the room with a shake of her head still watching Emma study the floor and her shoes and then her finger nails. Emma sighed when the door swung shut and she was alone. She sagged down into her seat and wanted to bang her head on the table in frustrated confusion. This was her Mother she was talking about, someone she should love and respect. And Regina had made it very clear there was no love or respect between them during the row in her foyer, so why did the protective side of Emma rear up and want to tell her parents to mind their own damned business and leave Regina alone? She wanted to suggest they stop prying, stop assuming the worst and to give Regina the benefit of a little trust, to stop doubting her every move.

Emma sighed, Regina didn't show her any trust or respect and yet she wanted everyone else to treat the woman better and trust her. Was she stupid? She didn't think so because she could see that the projected Regina was a front, the acerbic and permanently irate woman did well to deflect everyone and so hid the delicate and fragile person inside. Emma knew she was as human and vulnerable as everyone else, she just didn't want anyone to know it, so the walls were built so high that even Emma had struggled to climb them. And when she had cracked them and seen a glimpse of the truth, well this was the consequence. Being ignored and left feeling deflated because she had honestly thought they had shared something special and made progress together. If Regina would just give in a little, realise not everyone was the enemy. But she had spent a life time fighting, Emma guessed changing her habits was going to take something monumental and a lot more time than had passed since the curse broke.

So Emma felt guilty that she didn't say anything to her mother to stop the slander and accusatory tone about Regina, but now she worried if she ever could. How would any defence of the brunette look to her parents if they were already suspicious? Emma knew she owed Regina nothing, they weren't related or in any kind of relationship, and yet it was to Regina's defence she found herself drawn rather than her own blood and kin. She knew it was a problem that ought to be dealt with rather than waiting for it to go bad. But she didn't deal with it, she just felt lost.

As the week dragged on, Emma realised she was having more and more difficulty keeping her mouth shut despite believing it was in her best interests. Both her Mother and Father found it easy to make comments that put Regina down, they saw her retreat into herself as a devious ploy or a welcome respite. They failed to believe she was changing and it annoyed Emma immensely. She knew Regina wasn't perfect, but neither were her parents. Yet they seemed to think they were better than Regina was and had more right to be happy, more right to lead the people, more right to parent Henry than Regina did. They failed to see she had been a solid Mayor and good mother who had raised Henry as an honest and loving child for 10 years. Emma was frustrated at her parent's belief Regina would revert to The Evil Queen around him and try and teach him to rip out hearts.

Emma wanted to scream at them both that they had given up their right to parent by putting their faith in an enchanted wardrobe, but she didn't. She just tried to keep the peace without defending Regina too much as that would arouse suspicion. She continued allowing them as much time with their grandson as she could and insisting that Regina was changing and not interested in collecting hearts anymore.

Emma sighed, that was definitely true. She had very nearly offered up her heart, Regina could have taken it that night they were together, both of them had been so honest and close, sharing themselves. But come the morning Regina had withdrawn and spurned conversation, making it clear any physical interactions were unwelcome and leaving all Emma's emotions and desires unspoken.

Emma didn't understand her own reactions. She had been sent away, she had told Regina she would gladly forget that night and yet she was struggling. She wanted more, wanted something different than the distant relationship they had settled into.

So the next time Emma was happy to admit, had all been her own doing. Henry was away for the night and after the visit from her mother she had had too much to drink and now she was horny.

When Emma was alone throughout the past week she kept trying to be productive and not linger on her memories. She was trying not to replay the last time, the way Regina's hands had touched her, held her close, the taste of Regina against her mouth and the way Emma's tongue had teased over her nipples, kissing her thighs, pressing against the brunette's clit.

Despite her best efforts and knowing it was hopeless, she had caught herself more and more often thinking about their emotional encounter, how wet she had been but had just cradled the exhausted woman. As Emma replayed it she became more frustrated and had been unable to sleep the last two nights until she'd taken care of herself. She had come against her own fingers but wished they were Regina's buried inside her. And even then she wasn't properly satisfied, it had just taken the edge off her longing.

She had been angry and thought having a drink would take the edge off it. Her anger was because the conversation with her mother hadn't gone well. Emma knew the petite brunette meant well, but the rather unsubtle hints about finding a good man to settle down with grated on her. Her mother pointing out "how nice and sensible" Archie was and then asking if she had met half a dozen different men who Snow obviously thought might be date, if not marriage, material had made Emma's frustration worse. She had tried to remain calm and rationalise that her mother was only doing it because she cared, but all Emma could see was her interfering. And it wasn't subtle, despite what her Mother obviously thought.

Emma warred within herself, knowing things were being said with good intentions, so she reined in her temper and responded as calmly as she could. However the bottled up emotions after a long and stressful week of dancing round Regina, dodging Henry's questions and biting her tongue round her parents had got the better of her after her mother had left and she was on her own.

Her mother seemed oblivious when Emma had tried to explain that she wasn't looking for a relationship, she was still trying to build connections with Henry and she would rather spend time developing a relationship with her newly found family than look for something new. Snow just beamed happily and patted her hand saying, "Emma sweetie, we all love you. Henry has settled here with you and our relationship is fine. You can focus on you and not feel guilty."

 _It isn't fine_ , Emma thought.

She hated that she had lied to them about Regina but from the way her mother was pushing about finding a man Emma knew telling her parents she was bi-sexual wouldn't be accepted easily. This wasn't the time for that conversation and it bothered her. She didn't feel she could be herself with her own parents and that upset her. She had spent her whole life looking for acceptance and it was beginning to dawn on her that the only place she wasn't judged and was accepted for who she was wasn't at home with family like she had thought it would be. It was in the bed of her Step-Grandmother. Why couldn't her life be easy? Admittedly Emma knew she had made this particular mess for herself, she had been selfish in seeking out sexual satisfaction, but she hadn't at the time realised the mess it would create.

On some level Emma knew what she shared with the brunette had happened because they were both damaged, they both craved love but had learned the hard way that love hurts and were so very weary of it. They had both been judged and told they weren't good enough throughout their twisted lives and neither of them had dealt very well with the rejection despite the bravado and façade they had put in place. Emma had been broken and hurt as much as Regina and maybe it was that understanding which made her soul reach out to a kindred spirit, forming a bond and connection. Maybe it was as simple as just a physical response to a very attractive woman, one who once the bedroom door shut had never asked Emma to be anything other than herself. Whatever it was, now the bigger picture had been revealed, family reunited and identities put right, Emma knew she shouldn't still be seeking refuge in the older woman's bed. And yet it was all she seemed to want. Was it just a yearning for forbidden fruit?

Whatever caused the undeniable attraction, the two of them had been drawn together almost since they first laid eyes on each other and it caused a deep seated loathing in the blonde because she knew what she should do, how she should behave but she just didn't want to. She knew what she wanted and it was fast becoming a driving need. There was the old conflict because despite reason and logic telling her not to, right now she needed Regina. And amongst all the other problems about doing the right thing and ending their physical relationship, the biggest one in Emma's view was she had openly told the woman they wouldn't be intimate again, the argument had been vicious and despite them repairing some of it in the diner, Emma was sure she couldn't just waltz into the mansion and take the woman upstairs to bed. They were maintaining a cool and healthy distance, because that was what Regina had asked for and what Emma had agreed to with a slamming door echoing in her memory, reminding her just how much the annoying brunette got under her skin.

Emma might be ok if the getting under her skin didn't make the blood pump hard in her veins and turn her on. It felt like the woman touched her without lifting a finger, her sharp words, the tone of her voice when angry and the fire blazing in her eyes set Emma's pulse racing, felt like a caress on her heated skin despite the animosity and ferocity in the actions. It made Emma's whole body tingle with desire. It made warmth flood over her skin and her eyes were drawn to watch the mouth that was spewing hateful words. She tried not to notice how full the lips were and to forget that she knew that they were silky soft and alluring. She tried to ignore the angry flush to the brunette's face and draw the parallel to the flush that she had when she came violently, the orgasm leaving her tinted a similar colour.

And the fighting, the aggression, it was better than this, this indifference, being ignored. It created an emptiness in Emma, she felt like something was missing and it was unsettling. She'd rather they were screaming insults at each other than this and that was crazy. Surely peace and calm was a good thing?

The blonde never would have guessed when she drove into town that she would get so messily involved with the then Mayor, but she was. And now she was drinking she acknowledged however stupid it might be, whatever damage it might cause, she wasn't happy about their current relationship, the cold shoulder. Something needed to be said or more likely, done. She didn't know how it would work out but she was certainly going to do something about it tonight. Drink fuelled the bravado and her need. She was going to try and fix this, it didn't feel over to her. Part of her hoped it would never be over, despite the knowledge that being over was safest for everyone involved.

She had sent the text half an hour earlier, asking the woman to meet her somewhere quiet and deserted, somewhere Emma had a key and knew no-one else would find them. She didn't want to go to Regina's, where she would have home advantage and the upper hand. She wanted a more level playing field, somewhere Regina couldn't demand she leave if Emma said or did something that upset her. She thought she'd found the perfect solution, somewhere the Ex-Mayor would agree to meet her as she would feel at ease but Emma also had some chance of holding her ground.

Dressed for running in jogging pants, beaten up Reeboks and a tank top, Emma sank the rest of her beer and placed the dead bottle in the trash with its other 5 brothers. She knew she wasn't quite sober, but she was pretty certain that the sex wouldn't happen if she were sober, she knew better and had some kind of filter in place until the alcohol started flowing.

Emma ran to Mifflin Street, her muscles heavy and telling her there was a reason you didn't go jogging half cut. Her heart sped up when she saw there were no lights on, and realising Regina wasn't home, she must have accepted the invitation.

She picked up her feet and started to run towards Main Street, a sweat breaking out which was unusual for Emma. Berating herself for drinking too much and that it meant she was going to arrive at town hall a hot and breathy mess. She had wanted to be fresh and clean, sweet smelling and she realised the jogging pants hid her slim legs and attractive body she wanted to entice Regina with. She knew it was too late now, she was committed to this. Emma quickly found herself walking down the dark corridor towards the only lit room in the building that was Regina's reception room to her old office.

Smiling at the thought of Regina's office, a space that was decorated so strongly it screamed Regina, her personality coming through in the decor so overpoweringly. Emma was hoping she could have Regina screaming in a completely different capacity later in the evening. She marched bravely in and dug the key for the door out of her pocket.

"I'm certain this is an abuse of your duties, Sheriff."

The voice came from behind her, but Emma knew the other woman had stood and was coming closer.

"I'm not dressed as the Sheriff right now, see" Emma looked down at her clothes, "No badge."

"So this is breaking and entering then? I knew your dark past would come back to show itself at some point Miss Swan. If this is how you spend your time I am not at all certain you are the right person to be raising my son."

"This is the first time I've come here, it isn't usually how I spend my time, as you well know." Emma locked eyes with the other woman, daring her to push.

Regina quickly changed the topic of conversation, "Where is Henry this evening if you are out gallivanting?"

"Snow and David are looking after him." Emma replied as she twisted the key in the lock and pushed open the door. She heard the dull beep as the alarm initialised and knew it would only be a few minutes before the thing started to increase in volume without a PIN code entered into it.

"Regina can you silence the alarm?" Emma tried to sound confident as she stood back and held the door open for the other woman.

"Another one of your half thought out plans then Sheriff? I knew coming here would be a bad idea." The brunette huffed out but turned her attention to the panel on the wall and quickly tapped in the 6 digits she knew would de-activate the security device.

"And yet you still did." Emma smiled smugly to herself knowing Regina couldn't see her as she was stood behind the older woman who was concentrating on the alarm.

"I was curious to see what had happened to my things." The brunette snapped.

"Nothing. Everything is untouched. They only took the files and paperwork, all your personal items are still here."

"Who are they? I gave your Mother the alarm code, dare I ask who is running the town now and why they aren't running it from the Mayor's Office?"

"No-one wanted to work in the office, they found the decor a little disquieting. Plus my Mom, Granny and the council of advisers like meeting at the loft, they can have tea and cookies and it is more relaxed. I think some of the dwarves and Blue are involved, it is a combined effort. I try and stay out of it to be honest."

"I'll sleep much more safely in my bed knowing the idiots have a council set up, a democratic and probably completely useless approach. If the problem needs an arrow sticking in it, fried slowly to death or can be solved by drinking, falling asleep or sneezing at it then I'm sure everything will be fine. Heaven help us!"

"Regina someone had to take over, you weren't capable or welcome, and they are trying. I know they don't have any experience in this world, but no-one does." Emma hadn't asked Regina to meet her at her old office for a town update and half veiled accusations so she changed the topic of conversation.

"I'm glad you came."

Regina ignored the remark and waltzed pasted Emma further into the dimly lit and dusty room. Emma inhaled the perfume and tried not to let her eyes fall to watch the hips that were swaying across the room after the brunette had switched on the lights and made her way towards her old desk.

Emma let the door swing shut as Regina went past her desk and round to a wall cabinet and opened it, pulling out two glasses and a bottle. "Another drink?"

Emma tensed, Regina had picked up that she had already started drinking and the bottle didn't look cheap, it was obviously top shelf and likely carried quite a kick. Emma would have to go carefully, mixing her drinks never usually ended well.

Regina sunk into her old chair, pulled out a tissue and wiped away the dust so she could rest her elbows on the desk and steeple her fingers, resting her chin on them. As she moulded into the seat that had always been hers she locked eyes with the blonde. She was watching Emma to see how she was going to precede, the politician's smile on her face giving nothing away to what was going on inside her head.

"Yeah a drink would be nice." Emma rested against the edge of the desk and tried to fake nonchalance. Her mouth was dry and she felt anything but relaxed, but she willed her shoulders to stop tensing and took shallow breathes to try and still her suddenly erratically beating heart.

As Regina handed her the glass and retook her seat she asked, "What are we doing here Miss Swan?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"But why here?"

"Why not? Is there something wrong with your office?"

"Only that it is no longer mine and appears to not be cleaned or heated anymore." came the acerbic reply.

"I had the key, I didn't want us to be interrupted so my flat was out and I wanted somewhere you would feel comfortable that wasn't your house. You can't kick me out of here so easily." Emma smiled at the brunette who scowled back at her.

"No I can't kick you out, but I don't have to stay either."

Why did this woman have to be so obstinate? Why couldn't they discuss things sensibly? Emma felt the frustration she had been trying to bury all week rise up and her body began to tense.

"I wanted to clear the air, I'm sure Henry has been bothering you as much as he has been bothering me and I thought it might be better if we could talk."

"There is nothing to say."

"Well I think there is." Emma turned and leaned in on the desk so she could look at Regina, who just sat and raised an eyebrow quizzically at the blonde.

Emma felt her mouth go dry, where was a beer when you wanted one? "Uhmmm…." Eloquent as always, Emma tried to give Regina a disarming smile, while she tried to think of how she could put this. Subtlety was required, because the honest response "I can't get you out of my head and I want to fuck you senseless. I want to keep going until neither of us can walk anymore" wasn't going to go down well.

Emma knew any patience Regina had was fast dissipating so she broke eye contact and looked at the floor and heard Regina huff in annoyance, "Miss Swan, if this was just a social call, I think it is time to leave. I'm tired and frustrated and find in that mood I'm best left alone."

"I'm tired and frustrated too."

"I don't think I can help you with either of those things Miss Swan."

Emma laughed bitterly and downed her drink. "No I suppose not."

Emma put her glass back down on the desk with more force than she had intended and clenched her hands at her side to stop them shaking. She wasn't coping very well and as the whiskey burned down her throat she felt close to tears. She had no idea why, it was a stupid reaction. It was true she had been worrying and not sleeping well, her thoughts troubled and jumbled and maybe she was just tired. She knew she had been repressing more and more of herself and now it seemed like everything threatened to break free.

As she stood there and struggled not to vent her frustration and anger she was studied from underneath a calm and collected exterior. Inside Regina was as much a mess as Emma was, she had been so lonely all week but there were boundaries and they had strayed far too close to one last time they were together. Coupled with the fact that the potion might be gone, but the dark feelings and nightmares it had brought still haunted her and she hadn't slept properly all week she felt horribly drained.

Then out of the blue she had received Emma's message and it had peaked her interest and given her an excuse to leave the house. True she hadn't stayed couped up in the house, she had spent time in her garden, and obviously Henry's visits brightened her days, but she knew it wasn't a healthy existence.

She had spent years during the curse insulated and only interacting when required and it hadn't made her feel anything other than lonely, more and more depressed at the mundane existence she was living. The situation she found herself in now was worse than it had ever had been before. At least before she had work to distract herself or she could visit any of the town's events and gatherings. She might have hated mingling with the cretins and peasants, but she now realised a life without any contact to the outside world was much harder. She thought she could survive her own company, but in reality it gave her too much time to think and remember. Now there was no distance between her past and her present, with nothing to entertain her she spent time in self-loathing and reflecting on her behaviour, slowly wondering if any of it was as justified as she had thought at the time.

As Regina was distracted and disconnected from the conversation with the blonde Emma took advantage of the lull and actually studied the Ex-Mayor. Her clothes were immaculate, the usual flawless makeup and hair were there, but seemed to have lost some of their shine, and Regina's eyes looked more than tired, they looked pained, sadness spilling into them. Emma wondered what had happened in the past week.

Regina grabbed her own glass and downed the contents, Emma watching her throat work, her tongue resting against the glass, lips red and full. Emma felt arousal course through her despite the concern she was feeling for the woman in front of her. God that mouth, that tongue, Emma's brain kept skittering round the events of last weekend and even before that, how good it had been laying in Regina's bed, this woman wrapped in her arms. Emma shook her head, needing to concentrate on the moment, not getting caught up in the past.

When Emma felt she could lift her gaze without burning smoking holes of desire into Regina, their eyes locked. Regina had gained some semblance of control because her mask was beginning to fall back into place, her face becoming unreadable and her eyes hard and unyielding. It was ironic because as Regina steadied herself, Emma's mask was slipping, her eyes unable to stay connected to Regina's for fear the woman would see hers filling with lust. Emma had wanted to be in charge, had wanted to initiate this, and now she realised that playing games with Regina affected her emotions too badly and keeping clam and rational was more and more unlikely. She wasn't in control of herself, let alone the situation and Regina would soon lose patience with her. She felt doubt begin to swirl in her stomach and wind round her body.

Regina got up and marched over to refill her glass as Emma made a decision and stepped round the desk and up to her side. The blonde put her hand over the top of the glass and turned Regina towards her by placing gentle pressure on her hip.

"Regina, you look tired, I made a mistake asking you here tonight. You should go home to sleep, not drink anymore." Emma fought to keep her voice soft, calm, tried not to sound condescending, Regina hated to be told what to do and was so stubborn she would likely as not ignore Emma whatever tone of voice she used, but Emma felt she had to try.

"You are not my Saviour Miss Swan, and I find the whole "I think you've had enough to drink" line a little hypocritical as you've obviously sunk a few before coming over here."

Emma felt her own anger spike and she battled to push it away, her desire combined with her anger wouldn't be a good mix. She was already feeling drawn to the woman, the close proximity they were in making her breathing shallow and she could feel the familiar spark in the tension between them.

"I thought I deserved one, I had a particularly unhelpful conversation with my mother."

"Well I can understand that, she is enough to drive anyone to drink. I know she often annoyed me to the point I would have too much wine so I could phase out her prattling nonsense."

"It wasn't nonsense, it just wasn't helpful either. She's trying to match make, she thinks I should be looking to settle down."

"You know in the old world you would have been married off long ago and if things had gone well you would have produced a handful or heirs to the throne."

"I didn't expect you to defend her, and we aren't in the old world!" Emma struggled with her temper, her voice was harsh in the still of the office, loud even to her own ears.

"I'm not defending your Mother, she is tactless and more naïve than I thought if she thinks she can pair you up or marry you off. You are far too independent to let her force you into a mistake like that. I do just understand why she thinks like that, in our world it was rare for a woman to have any worth on her own."

"You had worth, you succeeded on your own. Why was it different for you?"

"Because I ruled with an iron fist and a trail of blood followed me everywhere. And for years I had to bow to the will of my husband, it took a lot of time and planning to ascend to the throne and rule in my own right. It certainly wasn't the normal way of things and I was never truly accepted as Queen by the Traditionalists and Royalists."

"Thank god I wasn't raised there, I think it would have smothered me."

"Quite the contrary actually Emma, as a Princess you would have been spoilt and allowed much more freedom than other girls. Look at your Mother, she was indulged to the point I'm not certain she would have been capable of ruling."

"Hey, she is caring and compassionate, the people love her." Emma managed to keep her voice at a reasonable level, but she was still annoyed with Regina's assessment of her Mother.

"Yes they do, but that isn't enough. You need to be firm, to understand and apply yourself so you understand warfare, finances, and politics. She had spent years being pampered and ignoring her lessons so when the time came she initially ran from the responsibility because the enormity of it scared her. By the time she realised she wanted to fight for her birth right I'm still not certain she had the stomach to make the hard decisions. She let me live, which I see as a fatal mistake for a ruler. You should dominate your enemies, compassion is a flaw and weakness no ruler should show."

"I think she'll say she ran because you tried to kill her."

"Maybe so. But in the end I am glad I didn't, because with her dead there would be no Henry. It is the past Emma, it can't be changed, can we let it go?" Regina had been over and over it the last week, the choices, the hatred, the losses she had suffered and inflicted on others. Forcibly breaking up families, destroying love, hope and happiness. There was regret attached to almost all of her actions, she didn't need Emma heaping the blame on her as well.

Emma watched the change in the brunette's features, a slightly defeated look as her shoulders dropped just a fraction before she took a breath and any hint of emotion cleared away and her expression was smooth and impenetrable again.

"OK," Emma agreed to changing the topic of conversation away from the Enchanted Forest and Regina's blood soaked history. She continued, "So no advice about how to make my mother back off?"

"You could tell her about us." Regina smirked maliciously.

"Other than that!" Emma snapped back angrily.

"Miss Swan don't you have other friends you could ask, Ruby for instance? She knows your Mother better than anyone."

"I'd rather talk to you, I find your honesty refreshing."

Regina laughed at that, before she watched the hurt look cross Emma's face and realised she had actually been serious. Then she quirked her eyebrow and waited for clarification.

"Ruby is a good friend, but she is my Mom's friend too. She tries to keep the peace and find a compromise. I feel guilty speaking badly of either of my parent's to her. I know you have no love for them and you'd let me rant about them if I needed to. I also know you'd be brutally honest in any assessment of my actions and you'd tell me if I was wrong. Sometimes I just need a sounding board to vent to and you get that. You understand the darkness inside me and the difficulty I have accepting my parents and their advice."

"I think you do the werewolf a disservice Emma, she knows the darkness and has lost people. She has made mistakes she has to live with, Ruby is much darker and worldlier than your Mother is. I think she would understand why you are struggling, why you can't accept the ready-made family with ease and slip into the role of dutiful daughter."

"But she doesn't know about you."

"I should hope not."

"I….I think my mother might suspect."

"Your mother can't keep a secret Emma, if she knew, you'd know she knew."

"Are you sure?"

"She can't keep a secret." And the brunette had to look away, closing her eyes against the sting of tears. The memory of Daniel's face and then lifeless body flashed behind her closed lids and anger bubbled inside of her. She grasped blindly for her drink and with the cold glass in her hands she regulated her breathing before raising a trembling hand and taking a sip. She stayed that way for a few long minutes, calming herself and pushing the past firmly away before turning round. She found Emma's eyes piercing into her.

The blonde had taken a step forward and closed the distance between them. She reached out for the glass. She brushed her fingertips over the olive skin and they both felt their bodies respond to the touch. Regina was shocked at how easily her body went from threatening tears to liquid desire poling between her thighs. She both loved and loathed the effect Emma had on her body. She shouldn't respond quite so desperately to anyone's touch but tonight she could welcome the distraction, if she was tied to the pleasurable present then her memories and loneliness would abate, if only temporarily.

Both their heartbeats increased as warmth flooded through them both at the touch. Emma fought the urge to trail her hand up the brunette's arm and cup her cheek, so instead she removed the glass and brought it to her own lips. She sipped the amber liquid and knew she was being studied.

Regina watched the milky skin, the half-closed eyes and pale lips. She thought that Emma truly was beautiful, she had perfectly clear skin which she had inherited from her mother, her figure was trim and powerful and her eyes were a beautiful shade which displayed such depth. She dropped her gaze and took in Emma's tank top which was tight against her toned body and she admired the muscle definition on her strong arms and the way the fabric stretched over her breasts. She knew what she looked for in a female lover and Emma was definitely it, she had felt the buzz of attraction between them from that first night.

Emma put the glass down and reached for the bottle. The brief touch and proximity to Regina was making her nipples harden, although that could be blamed on the cool air of the room. She knew Regina had been upset moments ago, but she still wanted her. Knowing they were both tired and should probably go home to sleep Emma ignored the nagging voice of reason and went with honesty.

"I think I'll have another drink." Emma stated, locking eyes with Regina, "It's the only thing that seems to help."

Emma's eyes were dark pools of wanting, and Regina searched those eyes and then dropped her gaze to Emma's lips before licking her own over very slowly and saying, "Help with what Miss Swan?"

Emma knew it was an invitation, the sexy show of Regina's tongue, the way her libido roared through her veins at the sight and sound of the husky voice the brunette used.

Those were the only words Regina was able to get out of her mouth before Emma had pushed her back against the wall and pressed her lips against Regina's whiskey stained ones. Emma pushed her body into the Mayor's, her thigh slipping between Regina's legs and her hands went from pushing the woman against the wall by her shoulders to pulling her by her hips so that their bodies came together. Emma felt Regina grind her hips down and towards the pressure of Emma's thigh. Emma ran a hand up Regina's back, into her hair, to cushion her head as she leaned into the kiss and Regina's head would have connected with the wall had Emma not protected her.

Emma felt her heart rate pick up, this is what she had been missing those last 2 nights alone. Someone to kiss her back, to push at her body and pull at her clothes. Her head was swimming, it might have been the alcohol but Emma was sure it was more to do with how strong her need was. Her mouth and tongue demanding Regina respond and as Regina moved her hips again Emma moaned at the heat she could feel both from Regina and the response it pulled from her own body.

The kiss was violent, tongues duelling, both of them attacking lips hungrily. Emma halted the kiss, skittering her lips against Regina's cheek as she latched her teeth on to an earlobe and nibbled before exhaling in a hot and breathy whisper, "God Regina I want you."

Regina ran her hand up the side of Emma's tank top causing Emma to shiver at the delicate touch, and cupped a breast, running her thumb over the erect nipple she found.

"So I can see." she replied into Emma's neck before she nipped at the skin with her teeth.

Emma moaned at the pressure before replying, "You want it too." and slid her hands to cup the Mayor's ass, pulling her forward and onto her thigh.

"What I want, Miss Swan, is to know where I stand. Creeping round abandoned buildings looking for a casual encounter like a pair of horny teenagers doesn't do it for me." Regina managed to respond, but her hips rolling onto the Sheriff's leg were answer enough for Emma. Regina wanted this as much as she did, was as desperate for the pleasure and release as the blonde herself.

Regina took a breath to steady herself, "We agreed last time that this was a mistake, nothing has changed."

Emma imagined she had tried to say it with some bite and aggression behind the words, because that would have been so very Regina Mills, but she couldn't keep her voice steady as Emma trailed her lips over her neck and sucked lightly.

"This will be repeating something we both agreed needed to stop Miss Swan."

The remark should have been barbed, but it came out so breathy that it lost all attack. The woman uttering it did pull away ever so slightly but Emma was certain Regina didn't mean this to stop, the words had been softly spoken, and a moan following them as Emma bit down on the exposed collar bone.

Emma pushed her away from her then, so she could look into her eyes and check she was reading the situation correctly. She didn't want another accusation thrown at her once Regina calmed down and regained control of her libido.

Looking into tired eyes that were blown wide with lust, Emma licked her lips and said, "You thought it was a mistake, I never agreed to that. And this isn't repeating the same thing. Last weekend was intimate, it crossed a line you weren't prepared for. I understand that and I respect that. This is different, it is just sex, the same as it was before the curse broke. I want, god Regina, I really need you. Please can we do this? Don't take it away, don't overthink it, just give in to the good sex you know we'll have." Emma nuzzled back into her neck, her lips sucking greedily at any skin she could find.

With some effort the brunette pushed her away. "Can we do just sex Emma?"

"We did for months, didn't we?"

They both knew it for the lie that it was, they had both become invested on some level, so much so that Emma had been about to run from Storybrooke and Regina had been prepared to poison the blonde as a denial of their feelings. And after the curse broke they had become close, truths had been shared even if they wished they hadn't been, meaning there was understanding and a connection between them making the sex anything but meaningless.

But neither of them was at a stage where they wanted to stop, so they embraced the lie. There would be physical satisfaction tonight, come tomorrow the recriminations could start, for now Regina just nodded, giving into the need buzzing through her body.

Emma's voice continued in her ear, low and sultry, "I might have brought you here to fulfil a fantasy. Ever since I first saw you leaning forward on that desk with a straining shirt button and smug expression I've wanted to take you in here, over the desk, against the window, on the chaise. I might not get my full fantasy but I hope I get something. I desperately want another night with you."

"And right now, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't want that too, but Emma, this is just a physical release. I can't make that more clear." Regina meet her eyes and Emma saw the desire cloud across her features. Regina was giving in to her body's need, tired of fighting something they both knew could be beautifully fulfilling between them.

Emma ended the conversation as she crashed her lips to Regina's again, pushing the woman hard against the wall so they were completely flush, Emma moaning as she felt the touch of Regina's body against hers, the heat cascading through her from the contact.

Emma made quick work of the buttons on Regina's blouse and unhooking her bra, both items landing on the floor of the office forgotten. She swept her hands back up the brunette's body, skimming her fingers over the flat stomach before touching the soft flesh of Regina's full breasts unhindered. She cupped both breasts and dragged her thumb over the erect nipples, as Regina arched and tried to gain more pressure from both Emma's hands and thigh. Emma dipped her head and took a nipple into her mouth, and Regina gasped from the heat and swirling of an insistent tongue. While Emma's left hand palmed and pinched at the other exposed breast, her right hand dropped to the top of the Mayor's pants and quickly undid the button and zipper.

Emma moved her own leg away so she could slip her hand into the open slacks and under the damp fabric of Regina's panties. She had space to slide the fingers of her hand quickly and with ease into the woman above her but she hesitated, teasing the older woman as she sucked in a breath against her olive skinned neck and enjoyed being able to run her fingertips lightly over the hot and bare skin of the woman's pussy without giving Regina the pressure she obviously wanted.

Grinning at the gently bucking hips Emma replaced her leg tight between Regina's thighs, giving the woman something solid to grind against as she moved her hand further between them and into Regina's arousal. In this position it gave Regina leverage to thrust against her thigh, Emma knew Regina wouldn't let her set the pace completely, and Emma was happy to let the brunette ride her hand as she needed to.

As her fingers slide through the Mayor's folds, folds wet and waiting for Emma's ministrations, Regina pulled at the tank top and sports bra Emma wore and pulled them off over her head. She settled her hand on one of Emma's breasts, while she nipped and sucked at the blonde's neck, biting down hard on the soft flesh and pinching at Emma's nipple as Emma slide two fingers straight into Regina's hot core, into the knuckle, as far as she could and flexed her thumb, rubbing it against Regina's clit.

Regina gasped at the suddenly harsh contact before humming in approval, and biting down on the soft skin of Emma's neck hard enough to leave a mark. As Emma moved her hand she pressed into Regina's clit harder, loving how wet the woman bearing down on her fingers was and hearing the brunette struggle to breath as a moan, low and husky came from deep inside her. The blonde was able to pull her fingers out of the heated centre of the other woman and thrust them back in, meeting Regina's own hips as she began to rock into Emma's hand.

Emma sunk her other hand into brown locks and pulled Regina up to face her, so she could claim her mouth with her tongue. It became messy as teeth nipping and Emma was swallowing every exhale Regina made as she worked her body towards her satisfaction.

Regina slide herself over Emma's fingers, fingers that were coated in her warm essence, aiding them to sink deeper into her with every moment of her hips. Emma curled them slightly to rub against her walls and she swirled her thumb over her hard clit so Regina felt her it pull deep in her stomach.

Emma melded herself flush against the brunette and their breasts connected, tight and sensitive nipples rubbed against each other as Emma snaked her free hand round to stroke the brunette's lower back, tracing her spine before playfully slapping her ass, no strength or malice in the gesture.

Regina's hands roamed Emma's smooth and muscled back, scratching lightly before moving lower to grasp at her cloth covered ass, her hands dipping inside the fabric to rake her fingernails harshly over the bare skin there as Emma used her open palm against her tender flesh. Emma groaned at the rough treatment and responded to it by adding a third finger which she immediately buried into the Ex-Mayor.

She was rewarded with a gasp and the fingers grasped at her ass harder, pulling her closer, holding her tighter. Emma felt Regina getting tighter round her fingers, the older woman was breathing raggedly as she stuttered towards her release.

Emma wanted to taste the woman, but she knew that would have to wait for later. Instead she moved her hand slightly, allowing herself more space to use her thumb to flick faster at the brunette's clit, knowing she was teetering on the edge of her orgasm and loving that she could do that to this woman.

Emma was dripping herself, her own arousal seeping out of her and coating the material of her jogging pants but knew she would get her turn later. Now she waited for the woman before her to come gloriously all over her fingers and her grin was almost feral at the thought of how she could then get the taste she wanted as she licked those fingers clean.

As Regina arched against the wall, her body tensing before finally releasing and quaking Emma was so close to her she felt the shudder run the whole way through her lover's body and leaned in to wrap her free arm round the brunette's waist so she could help support her weight. Emma herself hated trying to stand on shaking leg muscles, her heart hammering in her chest and feeling breathless as an orgasm ripped through her. She loved to collapse into the arms of someone and have them take her weight for just those few moments while she battled to get her composure under control.

As Regina's hips stilled and she unballed her clenched fists to rest her hands round the blonde's pale waist allowing Emma to cradle her body. She supported the brunette's weight as the brunette rested her head in the crook of Emma's neck and took deep breaths. Emma could feel her heart thudding in her chest, slowly regaining a more normal rhythm as Regina came down from the high.

As the brunette looked up Emma gently removed her fingers from deep inside her and moved them to her own mouth, taking satisfaction in the heady aroma that she could smell meeting her nostrils and the musky taste that exploded in her mouth as she put the soaked digits there and wrapped her tongue round them.

The sight ignited something within Regina because with sudden speed and a renewed energy she pushed Emma's jogging pants down so they fell at her feet and cupped her heated sex.

"Lose the clothes." She commanded and Emma toed off her Reeboks and managed to get her feet loose from the cloth material of the pants pooled round her ankles.

With her hand still cupping Emma intimately Regina moved away from the wall and pushed the blonde backwards, step at a time. Her eyes were glinting as Emma held them with her own.

They stumbled back until Emma felt her legs hit the chaise and she fell onto the soft material, making a softly unhappy sound as Regina's hand left her body and she immediately missed the contact. She was able to look up at the semi naked woman and feel the air leave her lungs in an excited exhale, Regina looked glorious, the perspiration on her skin made the orgasmic glow she had shine and her figure was gorgeous, the curved hips, ass and breasts begging Emma to touch them.

Regina took a moment to rid herself of her own slacks and then was on her seconds later, skin against heated skin as they kissed, insatiable and passionately. Regina roughly grabbed one of Emma's breasts and squeezed, her other hand unhurriedly caressed the sensitive skin on the blonde's side, running her hand from hip to the underside of her breast and back again. It set Emma's nerve endings on fire.

"Can you magic the dildo here?" Emma pulled her lips away to gasp into the brunette's ear.

She pulled back, "Emma I'm not using magic, you know that, for Henry."

"I wasn't suggesting we tell him about this! He'll never find out." Emma looked up with pleading eyes, "I just want you to fuck me, I want us both to enjoy it and to see your face when you come, can't you make an exception?"

Regina pulled fully back and Emma wanted to kick herself, Regina was one step away from walking away and leaving her sitting naked and wanting on the chaise. The absence of the brunette's body allowed the cool air to hit her erect nipples and she repressed a shiver.

A thought had occurred to Regina, something that would be better than the dildo and would be so far from the softness and tenderness of the other night. She was mulling it over in the dusty air of her old office before she turned to the blonde and said, "If you want to be fucked I might have a better solution than the dildo. It also requires magical use, will you trust me?"

"Fuck yes." Emma's head was swimming, she knew she was so wet, her clit was throbbing and all she wanted was the release she had been thinking of the last few days. It was so close now, she didn't care how the woman took her, she just needed Regina to bring her to the brink of climax and then push her over, she needed to cum.

Regina turned away and Emma could hear her whispering the incantations of a spell, the words were foreign to Emma but she sat patiently until Regina was quiet before reaching out to her.

"What did you do?" Emma felt anticipation flutter in her stomach.

"This." As Regina turned Emma could see the erect phallus she had obviously just conjured as it jutted from her lap.

"Oh Wow. Can….uh…..can I touch it?"

"Oh you'll do more than touch it Miss Swan, you are going to be thoroughly fucked by it, but for now, yes you can get used to it by holding it."

As Emma grasped the cock Regina sucked in a deep breath, she had forgotten how sensitive the member was, it had been 30 years since she had used the spell and as Emma ran her hand up the shaft she realised she had missed this feeling. It was a magic cock so without magic she had had to make do and while a dildo had served a purpose, this was so much better. She failed to stifle a groan as she saw Emma bring her head down and encircle the tip with her lips, her tongue snaking out and rubbing over the head of the penis as her hand moved up and down the shaft, creating a delicious friction.

Emma pulled back and licked her lips, nervous as she voiced the next question, "Do we need a condom? Does it work exactly like a man's, could I get pregnant?"

Regina shook her head, "No, if I wanted to impregnate you that would be a different spell, this is just for pleasure."

Emma just grinned and Regina felt her heart beat harder in her chest, Emma danced her fingers over the brunette's abdomen before fisting her hand around the member again and playfully squeezing.

Her body was still sensitive from her last orgasm, and she felt perilously close to losing control again. She would tell herself it was because it had been such a long time and the cock was overly sensitive because of it but she groaned and had to push Emma away from her and still her hand. She leant forward and captured her lips in a blistering kiss as she pushed the woman with the talented tongue down onto the chaise.

Just the rubbing of the cock low against Emma's stomach or against her thigh as Regina shifted her weight was building the sensations to an almost unbearable level of sensitivity. She knew she had to move away from the blonde's body to get a few moments to collect herself so she didn't come. So she trailed her lips down Emma's body, nipping at her neck then sucking a nipple into her mouth before continuing to descend past her toned stomach and then placing soft and delicate kisses against the blonde's inner thighs.

She spread the woman before her and teased out her tongue, pleased when Emma bucked her hips from the gentle probing of her tongue as she slipped it over her clit. She pulled away and breathed deeply and enjoyed the smell of Emma's arousal, the wetness copious against her fingers that were massaging against slick skin without entering her. The soft touches without penetration were making Emma writhe, before she slipped just one finger into the blonde and then withdrew it slowly to run it up and down against the swollen lips.

As she bent to apply proper pressure with her tongue where Emma, from the sounds she was making of gasping and mewling, indicated she desperately needed her she felt hands run through her hair and urge her head down. Regina complied, wanting to taste the woman and give her the release she deserved.

She lapped greedily at the moisture Emma was producing before swirling her tongue up and round against the bundle of nerves that made Emma buck off the chaise and had Regina struggle to hold her down. The blonde then anchored her hand tightly against her scalp so she could press the brunette further into her folds and increase the pressure and pleasure she was creating.

"Uhhh….yeah….oh!" The sounds fell from Emma's lips as she rode Regina's face, loving the way her tongue felt against her clit and moaning long and low when the older woman slipped her fingers inside of her, thrusting slowly to begin with as she built Emma's orgasm with harder thrusts and flicks of her tongue.

"Oh God" Emma was gasping, struggling to be coherent as she felt everything begin to shake, felt the world shatter around her as she closed her eyes and peaked harder than she had done for weeks.

Regina smiled as the grip on her head lessened and she was able to move up the body below her, dropping kisses against the skin. She kissed Emma who returned it with fervour, her appetite ravenous despite having just come moments ago.

As Regina lay on top of the blonde she felt the woman below her shift so the cock was resting against her entrance, hands were grasping at her ass to encourage her to slip inside.

As Regina entered her, felt the tight walls around her erection, she knew she wasn't going to last. She was going to come embarrassingly quickly, just being sheathed by Emma was enough to have her shuddering. And Emma felt it too, and kissed her quickly before whispering, "This is so sexy, let go. It's OK, I wanted to watch you come. Let me?"

She was able to find the strength for a few thrusts before her movements became erratically ragged and the jerking of her hips coupled with the expletive falling from her lips indicated she was riding the orgasm that was thundering through her, a guttural moan came from her as Emma smiled and tucked the brunette strands of hair behind her ear so she could watch unhindered as the colour flushed across her face and the tension left her body as she sunk down against Emma's body.

Emma cradled her body between her legs and let the brunette get her breathing under control before asking, "Am I going to get that fucking you promised?"

Emma shifted slightly underneath Regina and the movement caused both of them to suck in a breath as they were still both highly sensitive. The movement did nothing but convince Emma she wanted another release and she was fighting with her self-control, fighting the desire to flip them and to ride Regina, setting the rhythm so she could come quickly.

Regina just growled at her as she moved her weight back onto her arms and looked down at the annoying blonde under her. "Yes Miss Swan. I don't break my promises."

As Regina stood and withdrew her length from Emma the blonde gasped at the loss of contact. The brunette made quick work of repositioning them both so they were where she wanted them, pulling Emma's naked body back along the fabric so her legs were hanging off the end of the chaise. She took a moment to study the glistening and moist sex she was about to drill into. She bent and lifted Emma's hips, listening to the blonde's breathing become more uneven as she rested the tip of her new cock against Emma's lower lips. She rubbed it up and down, covering it completely in Emma's essence and nudging through the folds until she could see Emma squirm every time she rubbed her clit with the tip of the member. Emma tightened her legs round the brunette's waist with every movement, inching them closer together.

Regina had used the spell before and taken men and women back in the enchanted forest, but she couldn't remember wanting something so much. She didn't know if time had distorted her memories, or whether this was because Emma wanted her, wanted this. Emma's desire, her attraction wasn't based because she was Queen and it was a duty to perform or out of fear she was Evil and would hurt her or her family. No, Emma wanted her, wanted the sex, and wanted it as hard as she did.

Regina felt her something inside of her spasm, it might have been regret for some of her past actions. Actions that might be regarded as glorified rape in this land, abusing your power to get a sexual thrill. It might have been a warmth that she was accepted as herself with this woman below her, it might have just been anticipation for the act as she ran her member down to Emma's vagina and stopped, gently applying pressure as she felt the resistance of Emma's body.

They locked eyes and Emma's voice came out low and husky as she commanded, "Fuck me."

Regina didn't need to be told twice, she pushed hard as far as she could into the other woman, filling her and smiled as Emma exhaled "Yes!"

She set a blistering pace, holding Emma by her hips as she slipped almost all of the way out of her, only to bury herself back into her with as much speed. Emma was so wet, their bodies were sweaty with the effort and the office was fragrant with the smell of sex and the sound of skin slapping on skin as with every thrust the tops of Regina's thighs connected with Emma's ass.

Emma snaked her hand towards her pussy, her fingers eager to circle her clit and bring her the gratifying pleasure that would drive her toward another orgasm. An orgasm that she knew would burn satisfyingly through her, the type of orgasm that had been eluding her the last few nights. An orgasm that would come hard and roll through her whole body leaving her weak and breathless. She felt it building inside her, felt the heat and the way her stomach and legs muscles were beginning to quiver.

Regina saw Emma's hand and made a mental note to punish the blonde later. Right now she was so close herself. She could feel Emma's inner walls gripping and contracting round her aching member. Her legs didn't want to support her weight and she knew it was very likely she would come completely undone at the same time as the blonde and she would collapse onto her from the powerful contractions as they swept through her body and made her feel weightless, boneless and temporarily unable to stand.

As she felt Emma peak, her arching back and thrown back head, closed eyes and incoherent cry that came from her mouth she knew she was losing herself again in the blonde beauty. She came seconds later and felt Emma lock her long legs round her hips and pull her down on top of her so she could ride out the climax, both of them breathless and shuddering.

Time had stopped for them both, they were lost from anything but the other woman and the sexual delight displayed before them, but eventually they had to separate and go to their own homes. They were both happier than they had been before the forbidden encounter, though neither of them had any more clarity about their own feelings or those of the other person.

Regina had come to the office and they had indulged, it was a positive step in Emma's eyes. Of course the words "It means nothing" and "It is only sex" steadily repeated in Emma's mind, and yet she found herself hoping that maybe, just maybe, this could be something.


	12. The Past Has Teeth

Thank you to the followers, here is the next chapter.

Please be aware this is adult content, yes it has some humour but it also has some very dark shit happen. It isn't just discussed, it is openly descriptive so remember this is a mature story and use your discretion. I don't mean to upset anyone but it is violent and messy so please stop reading if that might bother you.

* * *

Emma marvelled at how easy it was to fall back into a pattern, to fall back into bed with each other.

They had managed to release a lot of the bottled up tension between them the night in the Mayor's Office and it meant they still snipped at each other, but communication flowed more easily. They had been able to move past _that_ weekend and could talk civilly to each other and Regina no longer ignored Emma.

Emma was certain it had something to do with Regina thinking she had dominated the blonde and taken her roughly, dispelling all and any thoughts of gentleness. Emma hadn't complained, she had needed a release and the animalistic fucking they had fallen into had been thoroughly satisfying.

She had wondered whether Regina might magic her a cock and they could reverse the roles, she would love to bend Regina over, just the thought of it had her flushing and she had walked out of the Sheriff's Station and into the fresh air to stretch her muscles and clear her filthy mind. She thought it unlikely, the dildo was Regina's toy and now she thought about it she hadn't been allowed to fuck Regina with that apparatus. At the time she had thought it was because they were at Regina's house and it was in Regina's bedroom drawer, so Emma didn't touch what wasn't hers. Now she had learned a little about the brunette's past sexual experiences she wasn't so sure, but she would gently probe and see what her lover had to say.

Henry was unbelievably happy that the two women were speaking and his attitude was infectious, Regina smiled more often and Emma was absolutely shocked when she came to collect him one evening and she was invited in for dinner. It wasn't just any dinner either, Henry had been allowed to order pizza and Emma grinned dopily, her attitude relaxed and happy when she found out. Regimental Super Cook was allowing greasy take away in her pristine kitchen, it was a small step but with Regina even the small steps should be celebrated as they rarely happened.

It was one of Emma's favourite foods which should have alerted her but it didn't. Instead she realised she had walked into a trap shortly after the boxes of steaming food arrived and Regina plated up. The brunette sat Emma furthest from the door so she couldn't easily escape so she was a captive audience to the demands of the older woman. Once Emma had eaten two slices and her stomach had been placated Regina sprung the trap, casually slipping into the conversation her desire for Henry to stay over regularly two nights a week.

Emma had to laugh, bribery was a classic pre-curse Regina tool and at least the woman was exhibiting signs she was a little like her old self. Emma didn't mind the low tactic and greedily ate more pizza while Regina listed her argument in a typical politician's delivery. The woman still looked tired and Emma could hazard a guess that there were nightmares causing it, but she was becoming more and more recognisable with her snarky one line comments and barbed witticisms.

Emma had decided to agree the minute the proposition left the brunette's lips, but she sat and listened to the arguments anyway, knowing Regina had put thought into it and being respectfully silent. It was only afterwards that Emma realised the genius stroke Regina had played.

If Emma had Henry, she couldn't leave him alone over night, and Regina didn't like coming to her apartment. The walls were thin and Regina didn't like leaving her house after it got dark. However if Regina had Henry then Emma could easily leave her apartment and visit the mansion and it opened up the opportunity for them to explore nights spent together, again.

And explore they did.

* * *

Emma had been getting louder and louder one night when Regina had stopped touching her altogether. Whimpering from the lost contact and failing to understand the blonde reached out to touch the other woman who had pulled further away as Emma's finger snaked round a firm bicep.

"Emma I need to concentrate."

"On what? I'm right here." Emma sounded petulant even to her own ears, but really, this wasn't a time to pull away.

The blonde huffed back onto the pillows and watched the brunette as she quickly muttered a few words and suddenly magic sprang from her hands to coat the walls with a purple hue which quickly dissipated.

"What was that?" Emma knew she didn't need to worry that Regina had just created another curse, she was devoted to Henry and Emma knew she had only ever broken her promise to him about magic a handful of times and Emma had been there at every occasion.

She was just curious as her lover turned back to her and said, "Silencing spell, it was either that or a gag."

Emma shivered at the thought. "I wouldn't have minded a gag."

"Duly noted Miss Swan, now should we get back to it?"

* * *

Henry woke and knew something wasn't right. Usually he was woken by his brunette mother, but if he woke early he always lay in bed and enjoyed the smell of the breakfast she was cooking for him. The scent of bacon usually wafted up the stairs and he could usually catch the faint sound of movement, pans clanging, or the radio on.

Today there was nothing, no smells or sounds, it was deathly quiet and as he glanced over to the alarm clock he saw how late it was. He should be leaving for school soon and he wasn't even washed or dressed. Something must be wrong with his Mother, she'd never let him sleep late on a school day or go to school hungry. She was forever telling him that to concentrate and have a full day of learning he needed to eat, no-one could concentrate on an empty stomach.

As he pulled back the duvet cover and dropped his feet to the carpeted floor he slipped his feet into his slippers. He walked over to his bedroom door he listened to how quiet the house was. He knew instinctively his Mother wasn't downstairs cooking or doing the laundry or washing up, he couldn't hear any noise at all. So he crept down the corridor hoping there was an explanation and trying not to let his imagination take control of him and cause him to worry unnecessarily. Until he knew what had happened he would just assume she had over slept. Admittedly that had never happened before, but he wasn't blind. He had seen she was wearing heavy makeup round her eyes to cover the dark circles, she wasn't sleeping well despite what she told him when he asked how she was feeling.

He noticed his Mother's bedroom door was shut, which again was not unusual, but when he repeatedly knocked and called out, "Mom" without a response he felt his heartbeat begin to increase and his mouth go dry as worry began to settle in the pit of his stomach.

As Henry was knocking without answer, Regina was just beginning to wake up. Suddenly she was wide awake as the sunlight falling into the room indicated to her it was later in the morning than she usually slept. Panicked she sat up and realised she was naked, stripped bare by her blonde lover last night. She must have passed out from exhaustion and she couldn't recall Emma leaving, setting an alarm to wake her in the morning or pulling her pyjamas back on. It appeared from the tussled sheets and her nude appearance she had literally run out of steam, her sleepless nights and the physical exertion taking their toll so she had just drifted off after the coitous.

She got out of bed and was halfway across the room when Henry opened the door and stumbled in saying, "Mom, thank god you're ok, I've been knocking for ages. Why didn't you answer?"

It was then he stopped speaking and seemed to notice the state of undress she was in. He immediately dropped his eyes to the floor and mumbled, "Never mind" before quickly reversing his steps and bolting from the room.

Regina wanted to curse. How could she have been so stupid? In her haste she had soundproofed the room from both sides, instead of making the spell one sided so that Emma's cries would stay in the room but she could still hear everything that was going on outside. She had really not known Henry was outside, because of the spell she couldn't hear anything. And from the look on his face and the tone of his voice he was obviously very worried about her which should have touched her and made her feel loved and wanted, however all she felt now was burning embarrassment. There was shame at him seeing her bare to the elements, he had got a full frontal display and her face was hot and flushed crimson. She was also battling anger that she had messed up the spell, she then felt dread because she couldn't explain to Henry with the truth about why she hadn't answered the door. She couldn't admit she had a cast a spell and used magic and she definitely could explain to him why she had needed to.

All she knew was that she needed to try and put this right as she knew Henry would also be feeling equally unsettled and embarrassed about seeing her nude.

Pushing away the guilt and her own mortification she quickly grabbed a robe, pulling the cool fabric round her shoulders and tying it tightly at the waist before she left the room. She moved down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Henry dressed haphazardly and hurriedly packing his school bag.

"Henry" she tried. He kept his focus on the bag.

"I'm sorry I worried you and that you saw me like that."

"Its fine Mom." but it obviously wasn't as he wouldn't look at her at all. He had obviously just thrown the nearest clothes he could find on and had run his hands threw his hair instead of brushing it. Regina would never had let him leave the house like that but she wasn't given the choice as he forcefully did up the clasp on the bag and swung it onto his shoulder in a fast and fluid move. Then without looking up, his gaze firmly rooted on his trainer clad feet he shot past her and started descending the stairs two at a time. When he got to the front door he casually threw a goodbye over his shoulder as he practically ran down the path to the sidewalk.

Regina had never seen him so eager for school and didn't remember him ever leaving her house without breakfast. Sighing at the mess she had managed to make of time with her son she went back upstairs to wash, dress and correct the spell so this never happened again. After that she sent a text to the blonde asking her to come over later that evening and share dinner, hoping that with an extra person things wouldn't be too awkward between her and Henry.

* * *

She spent a long day mulling over what to say to Henry, but he didn't give her the option when he came home after school. He mumbled something about "lots of homework" and went straight upstairs to get on with it. Stewing more and more Regina went to cook some dinner for the 3 of them and at least that seemed to help her relax. As she stirred the sauce she was making to accompany the chicken breasts she heard the knock at the door and she turned the heat down on the hob as she left the kitchen to let Emma in.

"Hey." The blonde greeted her but Regina just scowled.

"What is it?" Emma tipped her head and regarded the other woman.

"Come in, I'm just finishing off dinner." Was the only response as the brunette swiftly spun on her heel and marched back towards the kitchen.

"Ok then." Emma replied, thinking that even for Regina the behaviour was a little odd but did as she was told and followed the brunette into the kitchen.

"Smells great." She commented as she pulled out a stool and collapsed her weight onto it.

The brunette just shook her head at the poor posture and heathen way Emma rested her elbows on the table. Regina could still hear her Mother drilling her about correct posture and how to sit when at a table, that you didn't relax and lean forward, which cutlery you ate with and how a lady sat. It had begun from a young age, before she even realised it she had been taken in hand and trained in the social niceties. She had been prepared so she would fit in above her true station in life, her mother bending her, changing her so she could ultimately fulfil her mother's desire for her to be royalty, a Queen.

Looking at Emma sprawled out, denim clad legs resting casually apart, and her hand nestled in her windswept hair as it propped up her head Regina thought about her lineage, Emma was royal too. But she looked so far from a typical Princess that even Regina's Mother would have had her work cut out training the blonde to conform to traditional expectations.

Part of Regina was envious, Emma had grown up with much less structure, less rules to obey, and she was comfortable within herself because no-one had continually eroded her confidence telling her she wasn't good enough. She could still be carefree and more relaxed than Regina even knew how to be.

"Not that it isn't nice to be invited to dinner, but why am I here?" Emma interrupted her train of thought.

"This is slightly embarrassing." Regina began.

Emma said nothing, she just leaned further forward and with a motion of her hand indicated Regina should continue.

"There was an incident this morning and Henry walked in on me."

"Walked in on you?" Emma wasn't sure she understood.

"Yes, he had been knocking on my bedroom door but when I cast the spell last night I should have made it a one way spell but didn't. I couldn't hear him, he became worried and he walked in."

"Ok." Emma still didn't get why that was a problem, except that magic had been used, but she was pretty certain Regina wasn't about to confess that to Henry.

"Oh for God's sake, I gave you more credit than your 2 idiot parents, do I have to spell it out for you? I was naked Emma, Henry walked in before I had put any clothes on!"

"Oh." Now Emma got it.

"He won't speak to me now, it is very tense and awkward and I hoped you being here might ease the discomfort."

Emma didn't do anything for a moment and then she burst out laughing. It was a deep belly laugh and Regina's scowl did nothing to help the blonde gain any control. She laughed long and hard for at least a minute, it made her stomach hurt and she felt tears prick at her eyes. She couldn't remember laughing quite so hard in a very long time.

As Regina stalked up and down the tiled kitchen floor her mood only got worse with Emma's laughter. She finally snapped her voice harsh.

"Miss Swan this is not funny, this is serious. I have only just repaired things with Henry, I can't lose him again over something this unfortunate."

Emma struggled to breathe properly from the effort of restraining and repressing the laughter, and Regina standing before her with her hands on her hips glaring daggers at her didn't help. She managed to get enough control over herself to answer.

"Regina you won't lose him. And from what I understand most kids walk in on their parents either in the nude or in other compromising situations. I know I have done. There is a reason I wanted my own apartment." She winked at the older woman.

Regina's scowl deepened, "Miss Swan did you really have to tell me that? I could live forever without knowing about your parents' sex life. It isn't something I ever want to think about, let alone have you tell me you have witnessed first-hand." The look of pure disgust on Regina's face made Emma want to laugh all over again, somehow she managed to reign herself in and just smiled goofily at the brunette.

"Sorry. I won't mention it again."

"See that you don't." and Emma watched the older woman shudder.

"Regina what I mean is it is a natural part of growing up and sharing a house. Things like this happen all the time."

"Not in this house it doesn't and it wasn't something my Mother would have tolerated either. Clothes were worn at all times."

"Look Regina, this isn't some major setback, Henry is just embarrassed and he'll work it out. Do you want me to go and talk to him?"

"Yes Miss Swan, I would. I hold you responsible for this, it is your fault I had to cast the spell and it was your fault I was distracted and didn't think properly about casting it correctly. It is also your fault I was naked. So you can help me fix this."

"You can't blame me for distracting you!" Emma said with indignation.

"Well I can and I do. I wouldn't usually have made such a basic error with magic, you could take it as a compliment you were able to divert my focus. Now go upstairs and talk to Henry, dinner will be ten minutes."

As Emma got to the door she couldn't help herself, she turned and with a huge grin said, "You know someone once told me all magic comes with a price, maybe this was the payback, it's only a little embarrassment you know."

She knew she was pushing her luck and that the brunette wouldn't see this for what it was, a storm in a teacup. It would soon blow over and while looking back and laughing at it might never happen, both Henry and Regina would be fine once the embarrassment wore off.

It was just so easy and enjoyable to bait Regina, Emma couldn't help herself. She failed to see the lightening quick reflexes move to throw the spoon at her and it narrowly missed her head before landing with a thump in the foyer.

"That was uncalled for!" Emma poked her head round the door to check nothing else would be thrown.

Regina growled at her poor aim, "Miss Swan do shut up and get upstairs, I fail to see the amusement in this situation."

Still fighting giggles Emma left the kitchen doorway and climbed the stairs. The conversation wasn't going to be easy, but Henry was a smart boy and Emma had heard much worse stories, friends who had real horrors inflicted by their foster parents. This was just an unfortunate circumstance and Henry needed to be grown up enough to accept it and find a way to deal with it. Emma was pretty sure both Regina and Henry would be happy to never mention it again, however Emma might mention it from time to time just to see the seething look of mixed embarrassment and outrage cross Regina's prim face. She caught herself before she laughed again. She needed to be sensible with Henry, he was probably distraught and definitely wouldn't be seeing the funny side of it.

She knocked on his door and she heard him call out, "I'm still busy doing homework."

"Hey Kid, it's me." She answered him and heard him get up and open the door.

"Did Mom tell you what happened?" He looked at her a little incredulously. "Did she ask you to come over?"

"Yeah actually she did."

"Wow. She told you all of it, that she had no clothes on?"

"That's natural Henry, she was in her room, and she wasn't out on the street flaunting herself."

"I know that. I just didn't expect it. It was a shock to see her like that."

"She was pretty shocked too."

"But I had been knocking and calling to her, I only went in because she didn't answer."

"I know that and so does she. She doesn't blame you or think you were snooping. I think she just overslept Henry, she hasn't been sleeping so well recently."

"But she always sleeps in her pyjamas."

Emma felt a blush creep up her neck at that. "Maybe she got hot and took them off." She hurriedly suggested before rapidly continuing, "Whatever the reason, you can't ignore her forever, you need to accept what you saw was an accident and come downstairs with me for dinner."

"She's going to act weird about it." Henry commented as he stood up.

"She's not the one hiding up here and sulking about it." Emma jibbed at him.

"No she called you in to talk to me, are you telling me that isn't weird?" Henry looked at his blonde mother and quirking his eyebrow.

"We are getting along better you know. And she hasn't exactly got many people she can call upon. Would you rather she had sent you to Archie for more therapy?"

"No, I'm glad she asked you. I'm just surprised, she wouldn't normally open up about something private and personal like that."

"She is getting better at talking things through and she will never risk losing you again, she learned her lesson and tries to fix the problems between the 2 of you rather than letting them fester."

"She is getting better at trusting isn't she?" Henry looked up at Emma with such hope. "I think she just needs a friend and I know how nasty she was to you when you first came to town, but maybe now you could be her friend?"

Emma took a second to think about her response. They were lovers, not exactly friends, but Emma thought she was probably the nearest thing Regina had someone who understood her. Someone who didn't judge her or immediately jump to dark or deadly conclusions about her sometimes odd behaviour.

"Yes Henry I think I might slowly be wearing her down. I think she trusts me with you, even if she doesn't trust me with anything else."

"You're certain there isn't anything else going on with her?" Henry fixed his gaze on her and searched her face.

Emma told him the half-truth for his own good, he didn't need to know what was happening between the two women.

"I think she is just tired. And it was just a mistake this morning, one that hopefully won't happen again. There is nothing going on for you to be concerned about." Emma was sure now Regina had corrected the spell there was no chance it would ever happen again.

"Now let's get some dinner, it's chicken and it smells great." Emma grasped Henry's shoulder and they walked out of his room and down the corridor, Emma was certain the meal would be awkward and Henry would be quieter than usual, but she was certain no permanent harm had been done.

* * *

Dinner had been fine, yes everyone was a bit quiet but Emma had managed to carry the conversation and roped in both Mother and son. And the food was lovely as always.

Emma was meant to return to her apartment with Henry that night but as Regina left the room with the dirty plates he pulled Emma to one side after the meal and admitted, "I think I should stay here tonight, I don't want Mom to think I'm running away or that this has affected me too badly. Staying feels normal, it feels the right thing to do."

"Ok Henry, if that's what you want then that is fine with me. Do you want to tell her?"

He nodded and left the table to greet his mother in the kitchen and tell her he was going to stay another night with her. Emma just smiled, thankfully Henry had a good head on his shoulders and an easy going attitude.

And that was how she ended up in the woman's bed again. She had accepted after dinner drinks, watched some TV with them both and kissed her son goodnight, feeling so proud he was growing into a sensible and considerate young man. Once alone the two women tried to do small talk, discussing the TV shows but it was apparent neither of them had much interest in talk. Soon one thing lead to another and they had stumbled upstairs where she found herself being held down tightly between the older woman's thighs before she was flipped and the favour returned, pleasure washing over both of them in waves.

* * *

Regina was confused for a moment as she felt the soft padding of being seated on a chair, the hard wooden back biting into her shoulder blades. She was dressed in a long cotton nightgown and as she stared into the mirror a younger version of herself starred back. She had long hair, softer eyes and mouth but still a pensive look on pulled at her features and worry lined her face.

She remembered this night, she was sure of it. She had thought about it often. She reached out her hand to grasp the cold glass goblet she knew was there and lifted the wine to her lips. She couldn't remember why it was glass, usually the goblets were metal. Then it dawned on her, it was her birthday today. She had been given this as a gift by the insipid Genie, telling her it was a lovely thing but paled in comparison to her beauty. She had wanted to push the love sick man away but that wasn't part of her plan, so she had accepted with a knowing smile on her lips, giving him just enough encouragement so he continued his infatuated courtship.

She took the glass in her hand and studied the crystal, how it had been cut to reflect the light and she did admire the beauty of the object, it was just a shame the man who had given it to her repulsed her.

She drained the glass and went to refill it, the part of her that had lived far beyond this point in time wished for something harder, some whiskey or rum to dull her senses more than the wine was. As it was this was all she had, so it would have to make do but it was a sad celebration as she sat alone and depressed watching her youth slip away year after year in this mirror and this room.

She tensed as she heard the heavy fall of footsteps in the corridor and the fumbling at her door. Her grip tightened on the stem of the glass and she held her breath as the door finally swung open and her husband entered her room. Not tonight, she thought. It's my birthday, just for once couldn't I have what I want and be left alone? But the answer was no, like it had been every time she remembered that night so long ago.

As she rose to her feet to greet her husband she could already see his eyes were unfocused and he reeked of alcohol. She shuddered and her hand clenched, the delicate glass shattered against her skin and cut into her making her take her eyes from The King. As she moved to inspect her hurt and bleeding hand she heard her husband growl at her, "You will pay me the respect and attention I deserve, Wife."

"I'm sorry." Regina stuttered, her hand throbbing as blood dripped slowly onto the floor but she turned her gaze fully to the older man before her.

"This" and he grasped her damaged hand and squeezed it, seeing the blood flow more freely, "is no excuse to ignore your duty."

"I'm sorry." Regina whispered again, "It was a mistake. The glass breaking was a shock and it hurt. I meant no disrespect." she tried to explain.

The crack echoed around the room as The King had raised his hand and backhanded it across her face.

The loud sound seemed to bring him some clarity and cut through the drunken haze he was in. His eyes cleared a little and he watched her face as she reacted to his rough treatment.

Regina had married an older man who was still in love with his dead wife and she had known from the first moment that it was a mistake, but the worst she usually had to bare was being ignored all day while the man lavished his time and patience on his sickeningly sweet child. There were occasional nightly summons, and as he had aged they became more infrequent, but he was rarely this drunk or violent, he hardly ever came into her person quarters and both his presence and the slap had taken the brunette by surprise.

Something was wrong with him, something had made him angry because this wasn't how he treated her. He was guilty of much emotional abuse but she couldn't ever say he had physically abused her, until this night. She wondered what he had seen, could it be the Imp or the over attentive Genie? She didn't know and she wasn't going to be given any chance to ask or defend herself.

Whatever it was the man in front of her might be old, but he was still well built and wasn't infirm, he could still overpower and hurt her. And the anger rippled off him in waves now she looked closely, the drink he had consumed only added to his aggression. She felt true fear then, he was usually a reasonable man but tonight he had forgone his rational mind and she saw hints of darkness and destruction in his stance and in his eyes.

The younger woman felt the heat rise to her slapped cheek and when she gingerly poked out her tongue she could taste blood from a slit lip. She kept her hands at her side despite wanting to cradle her face, she didn't want to do anything without her husband's permission. It could be fatal to move or speak unbidden with him in this mood so she stood still and waited.

"You've been drinking." His gaze fell on the broken glass, the contents spilled across the dresser. "You know I don't like you drinking without me." The tone was low and threatening and the young woman felt the icy needles of fear sink deeper onto her. Still she didn't move, she stood and let him speak.

"You do everything you can to disrespect me and ignore my wishes." Suddenly he was bellowing into her face and had picked up the remains of the glass and threw it across the room at the mirror that was hanging over the bed. They both exploded on contact, shards of the mirror and the crystal of the glass fell to the bed together and glinted in the lamplight of the room, the surfaces shimmered as the candlelight flickered.

"You won't ignore me tonight. You will remember your place." And he pushed her backwards towards the bed, bunching her nightgown round her waist as he moved into her space and forced her to retreat into the room step by step. When her legs hit the wooden frame of the bed he commanded she turn round and climb onto the bed.

"I don't want to see your devious and scheming face." He growled at her as he pushed her squarely between her shoulder blades and she fell forward. She tried to avoid the broken glass but small shards bit into her open palms as her arms caught her weight and she found herself kneeling on the blankets. Her already bleeding hand smeared a rust red stain on the fabric as the small shards cut smaller wounds and made pin pricks of blood appear on her other palm.

She felt the mattress shift as her husband added his weight behind her and she felt his hands grasp her firmly by the hips. She knew what was coming, this was familiar. When the old man got drunk he remembered how lonely he was and that he had needs and a wife. That was when he called for her, more often than not making Regina face away from him so he could imagine he was still with his beloved dead wife in his drink hazed memories. And Regina suffered it as was her duty, sometimes it was over quickly for which she was grateful, but other times he struggled to maintain an erection and once he was hard enough he often took an age to find his satisfying rhythm which left Regina tired and sore and praying for the end.

Tonight was going to be the latter, it was always worse the more he had drunk and Regina hated herself for letting her mother manipulate her into this situation. This wasn't living, this wasn't happiness. This shouldn't be her life. Even thoughts of Daniel failed to help her during the pummelling The King subjected her to, so she had learned to cry silently, the tears slipping down her face.

Regina knew it would hurt more if she was tense, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't calm her heart or relax her body so when she felt the King press his almost rigid member between her legs she had to bite her already sore and bleeding lip and fought the desire to pull her hips away. She needed to behave, to be the dutiful wife and allow him to enter her, the sooner he was inside her and rutting the sooner it would be over.

She looked at the blood seeping from her cut hands and felt the tears prick at her eyes. As her husband finally managed to get the angle of his penis right and he forced himself into her she let them fall. Her body never responded to her husband, she was never aroused for him, she wasn't slick so he didn't slide in easily but he managed anyway often creating his own lubrication by spitting on his hand and then fisting it to smear the saliva round his member.

Regina had no idea about time, it spun away from her as she zoned out from the room and the treatment her body was being put through. But she was forced back to the present as she was spun by her hips so she landed painfully on her back. The thin fabric of the nightgown did nothing to protect her skin as a shard of the mirror dug into her sharply. As her husband bore down onto her it only pushed more glass into her delicate skin and she had to bring her arm to her mouth to bite down on it and muffle the scream of pain she felt.

Her husband didn't notice, he had a glassy look in his eyes as he murmured his dead wife's name. Regina had to turn her face away as his drunken breath washed over her, but again he didn't notice, he just kept moving his hips to thrust into her, holding her down with his weight.

She was sore, the friction giving her no pleasure, just making her hot and uncomfortable. She felt him shift above her again and he penetrated her deeper, painfully so and she wasn't surprised when she felt herself tear. It had happened before, the sensitive walls of her vagina without any lubrication had ripped open against his hard pounding phallus. Despite knowing how much pain she would be in as it slowly healed she did take some comfort that the blood being spilled would add liquid to the burning heat and help the glide of her husband's member, hopefully bringing a swift conclusion to this horrible experience.

She squeezed her eyes tight shut against the pain, she would endure, Mother had taught her that skill particularly well. She knew she had to have patience and continue the charade of devoted wife so that when things finally unwound no suspicion would fall on her. He shifted again, grunting and panting as finally it looked like he might be nearing his release. His pace changed and it caused a fresh wave of pain to travel through her body and she screamed silently in her head.

* * *

Only in the bed she was sharing with Emma she didn't scream silently at all, she screamed long and loud and immediately the blonde was awake and focusing all of her attention on her sleeping lover.

Emma didn't remember falling asleep but she knew she wasn't welcome sharing a bed or staying the night, it had been an honest mistake. Good food, some pleasant company, a few drinks and several orgasms had left her drowsy and Regina had obviously fallen asleep too. It wasn't like the other night, she wasn't holding the brunette, and there was no contact. Emma was tucked up on the empty side of the bed and must have unintentionally drifted off slowly and softly into a satisfied sleep.

Emma sat upright and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She felt the shaking coming from the brunette, and the room hummed with pent up emotions made strong with magic. Emma could feel the weight of repressed anger, there was some fear and the tension that crackled in the room was fierce and it scared her, she had never felt anything that intense before. She flicked on the bedside lamp so she could see better and gently shook the brunette.

She was even more concerned as her hand came away bloody and she could see the clenched sheet in Regina's hand was also caked with blood. Emma felt helpless, she couldn't wake up the other woman who was whimpering and had tears staining her face. As Emma looked at her face she was certain the right side looked swollen and the beginnings of a black eye was shadowing the socket in the dim lamplight.

"Regina!" Emma raised her voice and shook harder and she saw eyes flutter open before Regina was pulled back into her dream. Emma tried again and with more force, shaking the practically comatose woman before reaching down and with a heavy sigh she squeezed the hand that was bleeding. She was rewarded with a gasp of surprise as the brown eyes opened and stayed open and the brunette sat upright breathing hard and fast.

"Jesus." Emma breathed out.

"Yes." Regina managed to whisper as she tried to wipe her tousled hair away from her eyes with a blood stained hand that was shaking quite considerably.

"Regina you're bleeding." Emma looked at the pale skin and the eyes that were full of unshed tears. "What was that, it wasn't a regular nightmare was it?"

"No Emma, it wasn't. It was a waking dream."

"But you were definitely asleep." Emma didn't get it.

"They are called waking because the effects of the dream don't just stay in your unconscious mind in the dream state, they are felt on your actual body and are very rare and only happen to those who possess magic. This is only the second one I've ever experienced."

"Are you badly hurt?"

"I'll live." Regina looked down at her hands and tried not to flinch in pain as she flexed them. "I'll bathe and dress the wounds. It is probably best you go home."

As Regina swung her legs from the bed Emma saw how badly cut her back was. There were many small lacerations that had begun to clot, but a couple were deep and still oozing blood. She also heard the intake of breath as Regina stood up and a wave of pain rocked her. She kept her balance but Emma noticed the tremble and the limp she had as she took small steps towards the en-suite.

Left in the bed Emma knew the sheet was ruined, but as she pulled back the cover she was shocked to find the trail of blood continued much lower than she had expected. There were three distinct patches of blood. One was from Regina's hand, the other massed up near the pillows from her back and the other was where her ass had been resting. As Emma moved her eyes to the older woman she could see the drying blood that had run down her leg before she got to the bathroom and pushed the door shut.

Emma had been on rape training as part of her Law Enforcement duties and she knew that vaginal bleeding was common. She knew she hadn't hurt Regina or caused it during their amorous activities, her monthly cycle wasn't due which only meant it could have happened in the dream. Emma felt sick as a heavy weight settled in her stomach and she looked at the shut bathroom door with open sympathy.

Wanting to be useful and having no intention of going home she quickly jumped out of the bed and stripped the sheets. She went to the closet and grabbed a clean bath towel and found fresh bedding. She hastily made the bed and left the clean towel resting on the covers as she grabbed Regina's robe from the back of the door and slide into the softness of the garment. It smelled of Regina and she breathed in deeply before bending down and scooping up the stained sheets. She opened the bedroom door and quietly moved down the corridor and descended the stairs, taking the dirty bedding to the laundry room in case Regina wanted to try and save them with some miracle washing product.

She crept back upstairs and into the bedroom, grabbing the plush towel and standing listening for a moment at the closed bathroom door. She could hear the sound of soft sobbing and her heart clenched hard in her chest. She hated to hear the sound of anyone crying but this affected her deeply. She knew the woman was physically hurt but it was so much more than that. Her soul was tortured, her past filled with pain and Emma doubted the tears would stop tonight after such a violent dream that had caused such damage to her body and shaken the woman so badly.

She didn't knock, she just opened the door and walked quietly over to the bath. She looked at the pink hue to the water and tried not to let it bother her. She could quite easily join the woman in her crying, but Regina didn't need her empathy, she needed someone to help her and be strong, so Emma would be that for her tonight.

"Miss Swan" the brunette's voice was hoarse and scratchy, "I thought I told you to go home. Please leave."

"I don't think so, not tonight."

"You aren't welcome." Regina had turned away as she was struggling with any self-control and she still had tears spilling down her face. She was amazed she had managed to get her sobbing and voice under control to speak to the blonde at all.

"Let me help you." Emma was close but not touching her, she had crouched down next to the bath and just rested her hands on the edge of the bathtub.

"I don't need any help." Came the haughty reply.

"You will do to wash your back and to apply any antiseptics or creams and dress the wounds."

"I can manage."

"Damn it woman!" Emma didn't raise her voice but her aggravation was clear in the tone she used. Regina flinched back like she had been hit. Emma took a breath to steady herself, she was worried for Regina and the sight of so much blood and from just a dream had unsettled her much more than her outward appearance betrayed. She needed to find some calm because however upsetting Emma might have find it just witnessing the aftermath, Regina had had to live through it and must be feeling a hundred times worse than Emma did.

The deep breath soothed her so she could say without the hint of impatience her previous outburst had contained, "Can't you trust me a little bit? I've never hurt you and I won't hurt you now. Let me help you."

Regina turned to her and there was a haunted look in her eyes which shocked Emma. It was the undeniable true face that Regina successfully hid for the world around her, it was a broken woman, the mask was gone and Emma had never seen her look so small and vulnerable as she did curled up in the bath, bleeding and clearly terrified.

"I won't hurt you." The blonde repeated firmly and locked their eyes together, hoping the brunette could see the honesty shining there.

Silence greeted her, the only sound was the tap as it dripped into the water but Regina didn't move or make a sound.

"Can I touch you? I need to wash your back." Emma asked in a quiet voice.

The brunette nodded numbly and Emma grabbed a cloth and submerged it into the warm water, gently running it over the olive skin and trying to be tender and delicate over the abrasions and deeper lacerations. Regina didn't comment at all as Emma worked, rinsing out the cloth and then gingerly running it back over her broken skin.

All the while Regina cried, mutely. Emma felt the odd shake as she repressed a sob or the hitch in breathing, but otherwise there was no sign that the tears continued to flow except occasionally Emma heard one plop into the bath water. Regina made no effort to wipe them away, just sitting still, arched over into herself.

Emma knew the position well, she had adopted it at times when she was a child in an uncomfortable situation during her time in the foster system. The brunette was presenting as small a target to the outside world as possible to protect herself. The blonde knew she needed to cry and that this was much more healthy than bottling everything up but it still pulled at her deep inside to see such suffering and pain and be helpless to fix it.

When Emma was done she asked Regina again if she could support her to help her get out of the bath. She wrapped the towel round her and led her back to the bed noticing she was still limping. She visibly winced as she sat down.

Emma went back to the bathroom and found some antiseptic cream and gauze and set about the delicate process of tending to the bloody mess that had just hours before been Regina's back. Emma also tended to her right hand, the left didn't need any gauze or dressing, but the left ended up wrapped tightly so the blonde guessed she wouldn't have any function in it for a few days. She had no idea what to do for the other injury Regina obviously had, she guessed it would just take time to heal naturally. She knew Regina wouldn't discuss it with her so she did what she could for the visible injuries.

She found clean pyjamas and dressed the woman, pulling her own clothes on at the same time, before helping the brunette to lay down and pulling the clean sheets round her.

"Regina," she began and the woman did at least turn her face up and towards her. Emma saw the bruise forming round her eye properly now and felt uncontrollable anger bubble through her aimed at whoever had done this to her lover. Emma knew it was a dream, but based on what she knew of Regina, her nightmares were usually of actual things that had happened in her past. There could be someone in town that had done this to the fallen Queen and if Emma found them she knew she would struggle to contain her temper and be Sheriff or Saviour.

Emma didn't know what else to say, how to verbalise any of the emotions she had. She wanted to convey her regret this had happened, she wanted to offer to stay. She just didn't know where to start so the word hung in the air between them.

"Don't." The brunette croaked out.

"What do you need?" Emma knelt and whispered to her.

"Water please."

"And after that?" Emma's hands itched to do something, to try and give the woman some comfort with a touch. But she didn't dare invade her personal space so she did nothing.

"To try and sleep."

Emma was frustrated, "I feel useless."

"Don't. I lived through this once before, I will again."

Emma sighed at that, it might be the truth but she didn't like it. She stood and went to get a glass of water from the kitchen as she had been asked. When she stepped back into the room Regina had turned off the lamp and was tucked up on her side.

Emma placed the glass on the bedside cabinet and struggled. In the end she settled on words she knew weren't enough, "Good night Regina." She began to walk away.

"Emma." She turned back at the soft voice calling her name. "I'm sorry this happened tonight. Thank you for your understanding."

Emma walked slowly back towards the bed and tentatively reached out for Regina's less damaged hand. She turned it over in her own and gently dropped a kiss between each knuckle. "You're welcome" she eventually whispered as she tucked the woman back under the sheets.

She almost bolted from the bedroom, unsure what she was feeling. The fragile moments she kept having with the brunette and the honesty shared as she found out more and more about her past history bothered Emma deep down. Was it just care and compassion? Because to Emma's treacherous heart it was beginning to feel more and more like it might be more, that the brunette who was buried underneath all the sarcasm might be someone Emma could love.

And there were points when she knew Regina could have been rude or made a hurtful jib, but she hadn't. Was Regina just changing for Henry, doing better and reigning in her temper and her sharp tongue because she loved her son? Or was there some kind of twisted reciprocation of the feelings Emma had swirling inside her?

Emma didn't want to be the only one investing feelings into this bizarre relationship, but as she walked home in the clear and cool night air she realised she did have feelings and they were growing with each passing day. She could only hope her lover felt enough for her not to crush her or dismiss her completely. Regina didn't discuss feelings, she wasn't comfortable with it, but that didn't mean she didn't have them. Emma hoped it was a true connection she sensed growing between them, because however hot the sex was, Regina Mills the person was hotter and Emma wanted to have her.


	13. Always Onward

Sorry for the delay, struggled with this chapter.

14 is written so will follow shortly and 15 is in process so I hope to make it up to you with a few quick updates over the next few days!

Thanks for sticking with me and any feedback welcomed.

Enjoy.

* * *

Emma had made up her mind while tossing and turning in her bed in the early hours that she would check on Regina come the arrived and she wearily got up, she hadn't slept well but that was what coffee was for.

After a large mug and a cool shower to refresh her she turned up to the mansion and Henry let her in.

"Hi Kid." She greeted him.

He looked at her oddly.

"What?" She couldn't fathom the look he gave her.

"Will you tell me what happened to Mom's hand?"

Emma knew the boy was smart, sensing lies almost as well as she did so she side stepped the question, "Won't she tell you?"

"She said it was an accident, she cut herself."

"But you don't believe her?" another side step.

"There is a bloodstained sheet in the laundry, what was she doing in bed with a knife? Her eye looks bruised too. It's just a little weird."

Emma knew he was asking out of concern, it was a perfectly valid question but she was struggling to find answers for him without mentioning the truth. Her tired brain wasn't quite up to speed and she cursed not having another coffee before leaving.

She settled on, "Kid, Storybrooke _is_ weird. It is probably completely innocent."

It was then that Regina's voice cut in to the conversation. "Henry I'm certain Miss Swan doesn't want to know about my cut hand or your theories as to how it happened. I told you she left last night after we watched Castle, she wasn't here when it happen. Honestly Henry, there is no conspiracy here."

"Are you sure you don't know what happened to her hand?" Henry dropped his voice to little above a whisper as he probed again. "Only I don't think she could have bandaged it on her own like that."

Emma was weary of being caught up in a lie but if Regina had told Henry she had cut herself after Emma had left for the evening then she would have to follow that line.

"And if you didn't know about her hand, why are you here this morning?" Henry continued to press and Emma felt uneasy under his scrutiny.

"Miss Swan is collecting something she left here yesterday, really Henry, I thought we had moved past this level of cross examination and mistrust." Regina managed to sound hurt and Henry did look a little ashamed with himself as well as guilty at being caught continuing the conversation. Emma was surprised Regina's hearing was that good, but let it go as she followed Henry into the kitchen where Regina had still managed to cook breakfast with only one half good hand.

Emma studied the brunette, you couldn't tell from her posture she was in pain, she still carried herself ramrod straight and there was no sign of the limp from last night. If Regina hurt, and Emma was sure with a back cut to ribbons like hers was she did, she hid it well. She still moved with grace and fluidity and sat without any hint of a grimace, but Emma was sure underneath the loose fitting slacks there would bruises on her thighs, maybe even handprints.

Emma shuddered, she had participated in plenty of rough sex, some of it with Regina, but it had never been physically abusive. She wasn't a vanilla lover but she drew a line at leaving bruises, causing bleeding or pain that was much passed the pleasurable threshold. Every time she went to bed with someone it had also always been consensual. She had come across a few foster parents who had anger management issues and beat her, but she had never had to personally deal with anything like rape. It made her skin crawl just thinking about the act of violation, let alone the fact that Regina had been subjected to something so horrific.

Emma had plenty her choices taken away from her, but that one, the control over your own body, your own space, to be forced and used for someone else's pleasure made her stomach roll. She didn't look at Regina with disgust, Regina was the victim and blameless in this. No, Emma's disgust was for the man, the aggressor. She thought about the sex she had enjoyed with Regina and was surprised Regina had allowed her any kind of control. After that kind of past, Emma expected her to carry lots of baggage into the bedroom, but Regina didn't appear to have been shattered by the event. She was glorious in bed, yes she fought for control, but she allowed Emma to dominate at times, each pushing the other. Emma marvelled at the brunette's mental strength, although she guessed it helped she was a woman and viewed in some way as less of a threat, and more of an equal.

Emma wasn't at all certain she could have moved on had it happened to her, she had struggled with many of her own demons and knew how hard it could be. Her abandonment issues and some of the beatings in prison and when she was in care still haunted her. She knew the value of being given time, time to accept and adjust and she didn't think her problems were anywhere near as complex as Regina's. It had taken her years to come to terms with her issues, and some were still unresolved. So she didn't expect Regina to bounce back after a few hours of exhausted sleep but from the outward exterior of the woman she seemed to be doing just that.

Emma recognised it as a front, or at least she thought it was. She was forgetting that Regina had many years where time had stood still, years to ease her pain and suffering. Maybe it was just a case of a bad nightmare of something Regina had reconciled and knew she could live with, but the crying and response she had witnessed last night didn't seem like the behaviour of someone who was at peace with the past.

Emma jolted from her thoughts as she was asked,

"Are you joining us for breakfast Miss Swan? There is enough."

Emma greedily took a plate, Granny's was good, but Regina's pancakes with fresh fruit and a side of bacon and eggs were heavenly. Emma couldn't believe Regina sat there eating muesli covered in fruit and the odd slice of toast, drinking coffee and not being tempted to indulge. Sure Regina wasn't as physically active as Emma was, and she cared about her figure, but Emma couldn't believe the restraint of the woman with her salads, muesli and grilled chicken.

She wondered what Regina really liked as a treat, was it chocolate, maybe cream cakes? It wasn't fried cheese or burgers, the look of distain as Emma usually shoved them passed her grease covered lips told her all she needed to know. But it was definitely something Emma planned to ask and find out, maybe Henry or her mother knew.

Emma had decided Regina deserved a little pick me up, something small but just for her, because she seemed never to indulge. Emma looked at the table, full of things the woman had made, but none of it was for her. Henry was probably so used to it he didn't see, but it was a selfless act and far removed from the Evil tyrant she was meant to be in the book. She knew presents weren't going to help Regina deal with last night, but knowing someone cared and was there might give her the strength to keep smiling and keep going.

As Emma ate there was silence as Henry watched both his mothers. It was a little disconcerting to be studied so intently so Emma tried to make conversation. It failed miserably as Henry gave her one word answers, he was convinced he was being lied to and he hated being excluded from what he was beginning to refer to in his head as "his family". It meant he was sullen at the table and excluded them like he felt he was being excluded.

He had begun to look forward to the way his mother's would talk and to their dinners together. He sensed his brunette mother thawing towards his blonde mother and including her more and more. Emma was allowed to stay for board games, she played on his PlayStation with him and they all watched TV or films together in the evenings. He saw the small gestures, the way Regina let Emma into her space and would sometimes touch her. He saw Emma be able to do things he had never seen anyone except him be able to do, like make the older woman smile or laugh.

The behaviour this morning frustrated him because he wanted to be included. He was growing up and he knew was able to deal with and understand a lot of adult problems. Something had obviously gone on last night between them and was still going on between the two adults today and they weren't being truthful with him about it. The fact he had been forbidden from discussing it only fuelled his belief that something was going on and he intended to find out what.

Knowing his brunette mother wouldn't tell him no matter what he asked he decided he'd bombarded Emma with a barrage of questions when he could get her on his own, but for now he would have to go to school and think of a new plan.

Without Henry's usual exuberance it meant breakfast became a stilted affair and both women were glad when he picked up his backpack and left for school.

Emma sat in the kitchen after Henry left for school and the silence spun out. She had washed up as Regina didn't have the use of one of her hands and then made then both fresh coffee. After a perfunctory "Thank you" Emma had sat at the counter and watched as Regina sat and sipped at her coffee and said nothing. Emma didn't know what to say. How did she bring up dream rape? It wasn't a normal conversation, the comment she had made to Henry earlier was definitely true – Storybrooke was weird.

Then there was the overly affectionate way she had left, and the fact that she had left, rather than staying with a clearly distressed and exhausted woman who was bleeding and probably should have had more medical care than some bandages and antiseptic creams applied. Emma thought sleeping pills were often prescribed in such cases to knock the person out, force their body to rest and remove them from the trauma, but she knew how likely it was that Regina would agree to seeing a doctor let alone take medication. That would require admitting something was wrong and there was more chance of pigs flying.

So Emma sat, not knowing where to start, waiting for Regina to finish her coffee and lose her temper and ask her to leave. Emma was sure it would come to that, Regina wasn't known for her patience and Emma knew she was already intruding into a very personal incident in the woman's past. She doubted Regina would bring it up so when the brunette spoke first Emma's head shot up from the floor she had been studiously looking at for the last few minutes.

"Miss Swan, I don't want Henry to find out about last night. I appreciate that requires lying to him, but I would be very grateful if you would agree to it. He doesn't need to know any details other than there was an accident and I cut my hand. If he were to find out anything else he may become unduly worried about me. As I said last night, it was a very rare occurrence and unlikely to happen again, there is no need for it to concern Henry."

"I agree he doesn't need the details, but you are going to need to give him something plausible. And you're going to need help redressing your back and your hand. I don't suppose you'd consider going to see a doctor?"

"No. I'll manage."

"Really?" The blonde let the incredulity creep into her voice.

"I managed perfectly well to cook breakfast."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have been able to wash up. Your hand is going to take at least a few days to heal, as is your back. What do you plan to do?"

"I told you I'd manage. I could take a leaf out of your book and we could eat at the Diner or live on takeaways for a few days."

"Ha Ha, very funny." Emma glared at the brunette who was smiling smugly at her minor victory.

"You could come to the apartment and I could cook or I could come over and help you?" Emma offered.

"I'm not an invalid, I refuse to let this affect my life and to need you to come and look after me again."

The temperature in the kitchen plummeted. The offer for breakfast had created a warmth, even with Henry being stroppy. Now Regina's internal protective wall had shown itself and the atmosphere changed completely. Things were becoming brittle and cold, just like ice, which suited the brunette. Ice was hard and impenetrable and she needed that now.

Regina hated having to depend on anyone or admit she was weak or vulnerable. If you admitted needing help she knew that was when people took advantage of you, trust was not something she gave easily, even to Emma. Added to that she refused to let a dream upset her life, this was a minor inconvenience, she didn't need the younger woman turning it into a major event. She would cope as she always did, on her own because that way she knew she could completely rely and depend on the person involved. They never let her down. It meant her response had been short, clipped and felt like a rejection to Emma.

"Why can't you accept some help, it won't kill you!" Emma grew frustrated that her kind offer had been dismissed so quickly and easily. It made her feel stupid for offering, not helping the atmosphere between the two women at all. It was growing tense, Emma watched Regina clench her jaw, she balled her fists.

"I don't need your help. I am perfectly fine." Regina answered through her gritted teeth.

"Your back is cut to ribbons and you can only use one hand, I fail to see how you can quantify that as fine." Emma was building up a head of steam, the brunette infuriated her and her denial that she was hurt grated on Emma. She suspected Regina didn't want to admit anything was wrong because that might mean she had to confront the dream, the consequences, and the past. But Emma knew that wasn't healthy, Regina needed to move on and would never do so if she kept it bottled up and refused to admit something had happened to her last night.

"I don't need you interfering in this. I just need time to heal."

"You'd heal quicker if you got treatment from a doctor." The blonde fired back.

"Miss Swan you need to butt out of this, it is not your concern." Regina didn't want to discuss last night and had been thinking of a way to get the blonde to leave and go to work. This argument seemed perfect, she could push Emma away and there would be no talk of the dream or how she was coping.

"Except you want me to lie to our son about it." Emma shot back at her.

"For his own good, I refuse to discuss this with him. And I am fast losing the patience to discuss it with you." Regina wanted to be left alone, she knew she was pushing and as Emma became angry her own anger spiked, responding to it and growing exponentially. They were both breathing heavily and had locked gazes.

"Why are you so obstinate, so inflexible!? If you won't get medical treatment and you won't accept my help and do the sensible thing here I don't feel like helping you lie to Henry." Emma had lost her composure and had snapped instinctively, she hadn't thought through what she was saying and only realised it was the wrong thing when Regina invaded her space to hiss at her,

"Blackmail doesn't suit you Miss Swan, it is much more my tactic. Now I'd be grateful if that is all you have to say on the matter that you leave my house."

"Fine." Emma snapped. "Good luck tending to your back."

She spun round and was out of the house in a blur as the blood pumped hard round her body and she felt the tension in her raised shoulders. She hadn't meant what she said to be a threat, she had been caught up in the moment and the words had just spilled from her.

She forcibly took a deep breath and tried to relax her body, but she was riled up and angry and slamming the door had done little to ease the feelings. She hated Regina sometimes, yes she understood her, that she was inverted and emotionally stunted and didn't rely on other people but god the woman was frustrating. With her inability to ask for help Emma honestly thought her stubborn streak was worse than her own. At least Emma knew it was pointless to refuse help when you were desperate, she had gone without anyone to care for her or help her most of her life, so if someone took the time to be interested in her welfare, than she would grab the opportunity with both hands.

She saw Regina shun people because of pride and trust issues, but the person the brunette was ultimately hurting was herself. And it hurt Emma that she didn't trust her, that her offer had been refused without a moment's hesitation. She had thought they were passed that pettiness and they had a level of trust and understanding growing in their relationship. Obviously she was wrong, but it still made her sad and as the anger slowly drained away she was left feeling hollow.

She knew she needed Regina, she wasn't sure in what role she needed her, but finding out that feeling wasn't reciprocated hurt and it ate at Emma as she walked away. Emma hated that she had reached out for the woman and she had immediately backed away. She wouldn't take a chance, she would rather be lonely and hurt on her own, wallowing in her own misery. And now Emma was going to let her, because they had argued and Regina had pushed her away and Emma was stubborn too. She'd let Regina stew, let her tend to her own wounds. She wasn't sure how long she'd leave it, if she wanted an apology she knew she'd be waiting forever, but she'd not be joining the woman for cosy dinners or evening rendezvous anytime soon.

As the blonde walked away she wondered if she was crazy. She kept trying, kept offering her time and energy to someone who on the outside didn't appear to want it. But she thought that perhaps underneath it all the brunette really did need it. She was just so tightly wound and so defensive that she didn't know how to depend on other people. Well Emma would keep trying and keep showing her she could take the chance on her. She had something inside her that wouldn't let her walk away if a friend was in trouble, it was probably her Charming genes, but she would always support a friend and she would take Regina's friendship even if she wanted more from her.

She knew Regina was difficult, stubborn and yet she wanted her. It would make her life so much harder to be with the brunette, but she knew that was really what she wanted. The decision would sound like madness to someone else, but it felt right to Emma. She would do her best to be there for Regina, watching from a distance and she'd step in if it looked like the older woman was struggling. She'd use the distance to give Regina space and work through her issues on her own but she would be there in the background and available at a moments notice. She hoped Regina would reaslise she wanted the blonde too, but Emma was well aware it was a hope and not a certainty.

Yes a future with Regina would be turbulent, it would be hard and there would be disagreements and arguments, but Emma had decided she would persue it if she could. She'd view this set back positively. It gave her further insight to how Regina reacted, Emma knew she had been pushed away on purpose and that it was because of fear. Guiltily she thought that perhaps she should have remained calm and fought harder to control her temper. She had known the brunette wasn't comfortable and had played into her hands. She could have tried to break down the wall rather than react to it, but she hadn't done that despite being well aware of it's presence.

She decided that she would use this experience to help build a better picture of the puzzle that was Regina Mills, and maybe in the future things might not degenerate into harsh words and shouting. Emma walked away with a shred of hope, her anger fading and the beginning of a smile touching the corners of her lips.

* * *

Regina managed to cook and dress herself with her one hand admirably. When Henry visited she made it very clear questions weren't welcome about her hand and he never knew about the injuries to her back. She was able to care for herself and her son with some minor adjustments, ones she knew fell below her usual high standards but she had to accept it was a short term thing and make do.

She used the oven and microwave to cook pre-prepared food. It made things much easier, the whole process a case of putting things on a tray and sliding them into the oven or putting the bag in the microwave and steaming it until ready, rather than bothering with pans, mixing of ingredients and endless chopping of meat, fish or vegetables.

If she needed any confirmation that genetics played a huge part in people's attitudes and behaviours it was clearly on display when Henry greedily wolfed down whatever was put in front of him and never commented on the lower quality of the food. He was so like his blonde mother when it came to food, quantity over quality and a fast metabolism that craved all food but especially if it was greasy or unhealthy. Regina could only marvel at the amount of food he demolished but loved that he always cleared his plate with a smile and told her, "Thanks Mom, it was delicious."

Life continued, she was lonely when Henry left and Emma no longer came to the door to collect him so she didn't converse with anyone, but it also meant her secret was still safe, no-one needed to know about the dream and the sham marital arrangements she had endured as Queen.

She took to drinking herself to sleep. She only admitted it to herself when she was tucked in bed but she was scared that the dream might return. She had told Emma it was rare, and it was, but life had a habit of punishing her. And the dream was definitely a punishment. She didn't want to think that maybe it was fate, she had been evil and hurt many people, maybe she deserved to be tortured and hurt herself. The drink helped sooth her nerves and dull her overactive mind, her focus becoming blurry so she could relax enough to drift away into an alcoholic induced slumber.

* * *

It had been over a week and Regina wished the heat and itching would just stop. It was a vain hope, her back wasn't infected, Emma had applied anti-septic and dressed her wounds properly, the problem was the old injury, the one inflicted in the Enchanted Forest, had become infected and this was part of the waking dream.

She hated that scar, she had been unable to use magic to heal it at the time in case her husband had summoned her. She couldn't be caught practising magic and he would expect to see the wounds, so she had left them to heal slowly and naturally. She couldn't even ask anyone else to tend to them, there would have been awkward questions if she had, so she had done her best on her own.

So it had scabbed over and healed, but it had always looked angry and she remembered the length of time it had taken to mend. Once the King was gone she immediately used magic on it but the damage had been done and it remained, roughly raised and tight feeling, itching at times odd times to remind her it was always there. It was a horrible reminder with the paler straight line running across it where the mirror had sliced her skin, standing out against the rest of her skin.

And now she felt the infection burn and she wanted to scratch at herself. She couldn't reach between her shoulder blades and even if she could it wouldn't help as it wasn't really infected. With each moment that passed she knew there would be no relief so she was becoming frustrated and angry.

It was early afternoon, was it too early for a drink? She hoped Henry would come round this afternoon so she poured herself more coffee instead and tried to focus on anything other than the discomfort radiating from her back.

She was trying desperately hard not to snap at Henry or let him know she was in pain but she knew he sensed her discomfort. She would look up and find him eying her suspiciously before looking away.

Emma had obviously continued the lie because she hadn't had any more questions from Henry. He had just helped her when he could see she was struggling with just the one hand, doing things like the washing up and folding the laundry and now she had been able to unbandage the hand and use it completely she hoped he would forget about it completely as there was no visible reminder.

She knew eventually she would feel better, she was just annoyed and lonely and drinking helped dull the pain. It wasn't a permanent solution, in fact she did recognise that it wasn't any solution at all, but she was still avoiding dealing with it.

As she sat in the kitchen she thought about Emma. She missed the blonde, her clumsiness, her ability to eat anything, her dimples and smile. She might even regret snapping at her but she was in a lot of pain at the time and had felt backed into a corner. Maybe she could distract herself and cook something for the woman at the same time. It wouldn't be an apology but it might settle things between them, as long as it wasn't an apple turnover. Doughnuts or a syrup sponge should satisfy Emma's fried food requirements or her sweet tooth and would be just enough to convey that Regina was trying to repair things without her needing to admit with words that she was sorry and may, just may, have over-reacted.

* * *

Henry grinned when he saw the dessert on the counter top. He was less impressed when he was told, "That isn't for you to eat, I want you to take it for Emma."

Henry did however recognise a metaphorical olive branch when he saw one and he quickly stoned his features in a mirror of his brunette mother so she didn't see his smirk. He was actually very surprised she had been the one to cave first but he was secretly pleased she had made the effort because he knew something was wrong between the two women and he knew it was making them both unhappy. Regina was quiet and withdrawn and Emma had taken to running more often, a sure sign she was bothered by something and was trying to work out her feelings by the rhythmic pounding of her feet against the sidewalk.

He hoped with the gift it would perk them both up and things would go back to the way they were, he had enjoyed the last few months immensely, especially the evenings. It had felt relaxed and welcoming and like home. He knew that the last year had been hard on all of them but when the front door closed and it was just the three of them the past and the bickering and tantrums and lies that had been told all seemed to be forgotten and they lived in the moment, enjoying each other's company and sometimes even daring to look to the future.

He had been busy with his task of working out what was wrong with his Mom in the past week but he hadn't been able to get much from Emma about what was bothering Regina. She had been cagey and wouldn't tell him details.

He had been told, "It is your Mom's secret to tell." That wasn't helpful, he knew asking her would be pointless.

He had heard, "She is fine, and she hasn't used magic." Again, not helpful.

Emma had tried to fob him off with, "She doesn't want to burden you. Don't take it personally."

He had finally asked, "Were you there?" and Emma had failed to think quickly enough and knew he'd see a lie.

"Yes Henry, I was."

"Why did she lie?" Henry wasn't angry, he had worked out his brunette mother was in pain and there was much more wrong with her than just her hand. He also knew she didn't lie over petty things or to deliberately deceive him anymore. He had learnt to trust her, he just didn't understand why she didn't trust him.

"Something attacked her, it hurt her hand and her back."

"Who was it? Did you catch them and were they locked up at the Sheriff's Station?"

"I said something Henry, not someone. So no, I didn't chase them down as Storybrooke Sheriff and lock them up."

"How is that possible?"

"Really Henry? After you asked me to believe in your book?"

Nodding his understanding he answered, "Alright, I see your point, things here are different."

"Yes they are." Emma thought that was a huge understatement. She continued, "All you need to know is it is difficult to explain and is very personal, it makes her uncomfortable to think about it, let alone speak about it. She didn't want you to worry but she is getting better now and that is the important thing."

"Do I need to worry?" His stare at his birth mother was piercing.

"No, I really don't think so. Besides, I'm here if she needs anything."

"You're ignoring her!" Henry pointed out.

"Only because she is stubborn!" Emma shot back. After a pause she added, "If she was in trouble then I'd be there for her. If she decides to talk about it or wants help then she knows where I am."

"You're sure she won't talk to me?" Henry was persistent.

"She doesn't want to involve you and sometimes Kid you have to accept that adults know best."

"But neither of you know best, she is miserable and hurting and you are hiding!"

Henry couldn't understand their behaviour. They were behaving more like children who had a playground squabble than two grown-ups. The solution was easy as far as he saw it, if they would just talk and spend some time together he was sure it could be resolved. He was getting frustrated with them and had snapped at the blonde.

Emma didn't take too well to being told she didn't know what she was doing and that she was hiding. She ended the conversation by saying, "Enough Kid. You'll just have to accept this is how it is. It isn't a big conspiracy like the curse was, it is just life."

Emma had got up from the table and put the kettle on, putting her back to him so he knew the conversation was well and truly over.

He hoped with the dessert he was going to bring home tonight that his worries and fears and the distance between the two women might dissolve. If Emma was right and this was life, he knew there was a better version of it, and it required that both his mothers were communicating with each other. Henry didn't do accepting things very easily, not if he felt they were wrong, and the fearful look he sometimes caught in Regina's eye and the guilty way Emma looked away when he mentioned it to Emma told him this was wrong. If he could help fix things then he would try his best, even if he had to go without eating the dessert and just be the courier for it.

Emma smiled just like Henry did when she saw the cake tin. It might have well have screamed "Sorry" and that was as much her reason for smiling as the fact that it was one of her favourites.

This didn't make things right between them, but she would go to the door to collect Henry the following evening and thank Regina and they could start over. Emma had missed the annoying woman with her sharp wit and damaged personality, talking with her mother just wasn't the same.


	14. Frustration

Hi to everyone - I hope you are all well.

2nd update as promised, hope you like it. Mentions of adult content - so please remember the mature rating.

Please review if you find a spare moment.

* * *

Regina was hot and sweaty and blew a dry breath between her lips to try and get the hair out of her eyes. It didn't work. She knew she looked a dishevelled mess, hunched over with the vibrator jammed between her legs, riding it, punishing the bed springs as she shifted trying to get an angle where the silicone touched all the right places. She never normally got like this, usually she clicked on the vibrator, the rabbit ears massaged her clit for a little while, sometimes she played with the angle and the pressure, teasing herself a little, but she didn't have to work this hard and usually came easily.

She knew what the problem was of course. Ever since her dream she had a problem with sex. She couldn't relax even with herself. At first she was scared she would hurt her healing inner walls and was taking it slow and steady, when she really needed it good and hard. Now she was healed even good and hard wasn't doing it for her. It was simple really, she was scarred by the experience in her past and wary of sex, feeling guilty for trying to find some pleasure and scared to let go. And the more she struggled with it, the more she hated herself for her weakness of letting her dead husband still continue to control her behaviour. With her self-loathing and bitterness, there was very little chance for relaxation and peace and the harder it became to reach any kind of completion. It meant her satisfaction kept eluding her and then it became a vicious circle.

Frustrated she threw the vibrator across the room where it thumped heavily against the wall and then onto the floor. It was probably broken and Regina cursed because usually it was one of her favourite toys. Her naked body collapsed onto the bed and she growled into the pillow.

She wanted a release, but she knew she hadn't even come close. She was wet and aroused and her nipples had hardened, but she hadn't felt her stomach tighten, hadn't really enjoyed any of it like she usually did. She knew no matter how much her body ached for an orgasm, it was unlikely. She remembered the last time and how long it had taken her to get over that horrific night with her husband. Thankfully there hadn't been any more nights with him, she had ramped up her plan to dispose of him and he hadn't had the chance to inflict anymore pain on her badly broken body. He was dead within a week.

However the pain had remained and the physical wounds had been slow to heal, the mental ones even slower. So much so that she wondered if she had ever actually put the experience behind her.

Certainly she had been with men since, but never really for her pleasure. She had gone to bed with them as The Queen, she had shut Regina away and went into the sexual encounters with a goal in mind. She used sex as a weapon or a tool to manipulate. She became power hungry and a much more active participant, sometimes even the aggressor because she refused to go back to the subordinate and weak little girl lying underneath a man. But it didn't bring her pleasure, there was always a line she never crossed. She never gave herself, she might give pleasure, she might gain an ally or riches or a pawn and his army to move around the kingdom and support her, but she always faked it as they came shuddering inside her.

Even with Graham the orgasms were hard fought for. She could only give in to him because she was certain he couldn't hurt her, she had his heart and controlled him. During the 28 years she often resorted to masturbation to take the edge off her needs, the only person she felt comfortable with had been herself. Her selection of bedroom toys had grown quite impressively, ones to pleasure herself and then dildos to dominate Graham with because that seemed to help her relax and be able to peak.

And then came the blonde.

It had begun as a game, but Regina had known things between them might be different because of the spark of arousal the woman ignited in her. She had become wet from their first argument and as soon as she could she had gone upstairs to furiously pump the vibrator inside herself, riding the silicone and pinching her nipples and coming much sooner and harder than she had intended.

She supposed it had a lot to do with Emma being a woman, it was a man who had caused this problem, had turned her off sex and never truly satisfied her. It was men she struggled to relax around and find a release with.

There had been a handful of women in the Enchanted Forest, but she rarely had time for that as she was so consumed with her hunt for Snow White and when it did happen it wasn't spontaneous. She would pick a woman she found attractive and show them the luxury of the castle, fine food, a warm bed and comfortable mattress, a nice item of jewellery. Looking back now she could see it was glorified prostitution but the women were grateful and worshipped her body, but there was no spark, no passion. But there was also no risk, she had magic and was more powerful than the women, they would not dominate or demand from her, they possessed no threat and that enabled her to relax and finally find some level of sexual release.

But now Regina had been cast back decades, to a state where she feared the intimacy of sex. She knew it wasn't really who she was, she had moved on from that many years ago, and yet the dream had caused a resurgence in her subconscious. Her protective instincts had automatically awoken and she had shut herself away, her body and mind pulled away from intimacy and any human contact. Depressingly even her own touch failed to stir her fully.

Worse then that she knew she couldn't allow the blonde to touch her, to come into her personal space. She had an invisible wall in place, one she didn't want there but she was helpless to navigate round. It was there to protect her, and would keep Emma out. Regina hated it, she felt like she wasn't in control of her emotions or her body. Deep down she trusted Emma, despite who she was, she knew Emma wouldn't hurt her but something primal inside of her reared up and refused to let Emma come close.

Regina knew she had withdrawn completely, pulling away from all physical contact that wasn't from Henry. And it left her frustrated and angry at herself and furious at her dead husband for inflicting this on her.

And Emma, being the good and wonderful person she was always born to be never asked for more or crossed the line. She didn't try and touch Regina or suggest going back to bed, she just looked at the brunette with sympathy and patiently waited, watching to see what would be the next development in the brunette's twisted life.

Regina went to bed most evenings and sobbed. She had Henry but she was still so very lonely and knew she was emotionally unstable, she was broken. She cried for her lost innocence, her long lost happy ending and herself. She realised that The Queen couldn't save her here. Only Graham and Emma had been to bed with Regina, had seen the real her in any guise and now she was in full retreat but she didn't have the persona of The Queen to fall back on. She had been left behind in the Enchanted Forest, for better or worse that person was gone.

And if she didn't fix this she would lose Emma. And Regina was scared beyond belief to realise she didn't want that. The blonde was worming her way into her life, she had welcomed her as a lover, part of a game, but it had morphed into something so much more. They had shared things, Emma had seen much more of the real Regina than she had ever intended to show and yet Emma hadn't run or pulled away. She stayed, offered comfort, was someone in a very lonely world that Regina could talk to and depend on.

Regina wondered if that was why she felt so conflicted about the woman. Was it a case of being so lonely that someone was better than no-one? No, that didn't sit well with the brunette, it wasn't just loneliness. When they were together Regina felt a connection, that for the first time in a long time she had found someone who listened to her and respected her without fearing her. Emma actually understood her and genuinely cared for her with no ulterior motive.

She got up off the bed and threw on a robe. She wasn't tired, despite it being late, and she wanted something to take the edge off her frustration. Magic was coursing through her veins, mixed with her frustration is made a dangerously strong tension fill her. She went downstairs and poured herself a large glass of whiskey, taking a large gulp before sitting down in an armchair. She had brought the bottle from the cabinet and placed it on the table and sipped thoughtfully from her glass. She needed to find a little calm, the magic pulsed and she sighed knowing there was nowhere for it to go. She drank some more.

She thought fleetingly about her Mother, pushing her into a marriage she hadn't wanted, one she wasn't ready for. She wondered if she had been more worldly, if her mother had allowed her to interact with other children and they had grown together to become teenage friends, would she perhaps have discussed love and sex more, even experimented with kissing and touching. She had read it was normal for children to have questions and to try things, it was just her childhood had been completely abnormal, lonely with a mother who didn't tolerate questions.

She knew she had a relationship with Daniel, but it had been a slow burn, he was respectful and cherished her, they had stolen kisses and were naively waiting until they were married for anything further to progress between them. How she rued that now, but at the time she had loved being wrapped up in his arms, feeling his strength and the gentle kissing being safe in his embrace. She had smiled at the rebellion, Mother would not approve of her choice and not caring, they were happy together both of them showing enough self-restraint so that they both looked forward to the day they could be married so they could consummate their love. It meant she had gone to her marital bed with The King an inexperienced virgin, and rather than a loving and precious experience with Daniel it had been rough. She would go so far as saying it had been a brutal assault on her young and frightened body.

As The Queen she had learned quickly what pleased a man, how to take their pride and joy into her hot mouth and please them, or to ride them forcefully so they spilled their seed, moaning her name and extoling her virtues. She became talented and it hadn't taken long to learn how, yes it was an act, but if she had been more like that with her husband, perhaps the experiences with him might not have been quite so horrific.

As she mused she reached the conclusion no, because when she was The Queen she held the control. She was able to dominate and take what she wanted because of her position. She had replaced The King, her wishes and desires were beyond question. When he had been alive and using her she could never have been an equal of The King, it was always his control and what he wanted. She supposed it was natural to him to dominate and take, even if it had been his wife. She doubted any amount of experience would have helped her, because she was meant to be meek and mild and allow him to do whatever he pleased with her body. She shuddered realising she had then continued that, taking and abusing her position. She hadn't realised it then, but she did now.

Thinking of the vile man led her to clench her hands as a single bolt of magic escaped and cracked loudly. She hadn't meant for that to happen and she took another gulp and emptied the glass, immediately refilling it as she tried to brush off the memory of his wrinkly, old and cold hands against her skin, grabbing at her breasts and squeezing harshly.

She thought of how Emma touched her, with burning need but never making her feel less than worthy. She thought of how much of herself she kept giving, she didn't fake it with Emma, and she knew Emma didn't fake it either. Her magic hummed with the change of her mood, warming her as she thought how she enjoyed pleasing Emma. It quickly turned into a sickening feeling in her stomach and the magic surged and rolled inside her as she acknowledged she felt scared to let the blonde into her space. Every time she felt she wanted to reach out something pulled her back. She wasn't comfortable with physical touch, despite being certain Emma wouldn't take advantage of her.

Thinking back her whole experience with sex was what Dr. Hopper would undoubtedly call "unhealthy". It hadn't ever been about the act of making love so it was hardly surprising she was struggling now. If she faced her greatest fear and acknowledge that she thought that love might be what she had shared with Emma just a handful of times she knew she had no frame of reference as a comparison.

The problem was admitting it might have been making love was almost as bad as confronting the marital rape she had been through. Love was as scary, love was a weakness she didn't have time for. And yet when she thought about love, her magic calmed, soothed by thoughts of Emma.

It was a mess, her heart, her head, her mind and body all seemed to be warring with one another, pulling her in different directions. She needed to find an answer, but she refused to share the details of her past marital relationship with anyone, let alone discussing the sexual side of things with Dr. Hopper. She shuddered despite the room not being cold. She didn't want to open up and share this, it was intensely personal and made her uncomfortable just thinking about discussing it. She was adamant she didn't want to talk to it through with anyone, not even Emma.

Emma was the person she felt most comfortable with but Emma was related to the man who had done these things, Regina couldn't explain it to her even if she had wanted to. Emma wouldn't want to know what her Grandfather had been capable of, would she even believe Regina? Snow would have praised the man, told Emma how wonderful he was. Because as a father he had been kind and generous, it was just as a husband and lover he had failed miserably.

Regina thought of her own Mother. Family ties ran deep. She loved her mother despite knowing she was flawed, would Emma chose family over Regina's version of the past? It was safest not to find out, leave Emma oblivious to the identity of the man that had done this to her.

She drank some more, mulling over what she could do. She needed to find a way to enjoy sex, to be comfortable. Maybe she just needed an extra stimulus, should she invest in some good porn to watch? She didn't think it would help, but she would give it a try. It was doing something and that calmed her a little, she hated being passive and at least making the decision felt like action.

She was beginning to feel the effects of the whiskey, she was a little light headed and her eyelids felt heavy, the edge of her magic had been dulled too. She'd just have another glass and then she'd go back to bed, hopefully she'd be able to get a few hours sleep so she could function the following day.

* * *

"Emma, can you come round?"

She strained to hear Henry's voice as he whispered urgently into the phone.

"Why Henry?" Emma whispered back before realising how stupid it was and shaking her head at her own foolish behaviour.

"Mom's drunk, she has fallen asleep downstairs."

"It is really late, I suggest you leave her to it and go to bed."

"She'll be cold downstairs."

"Then get a blanket and tuck her in."

"Emma," Henry was exasperated, "I know you know why she got drunk, I know you know more than you are telling me."

"Sometimes Kid we don't tell you things for your own good. You have to accept that."

"I do, but it doesn't mean I can leave her passed out downstairs. Come round and help me get her into bed."

Emma didn't understand why she got up and shrugged into her leather jacket and pulled on her boots. She really didn't. If Regina wanted to get drunk, and Emma completely understood why she would, then she was entitled. Admittedly with Henry in the house it wasn't a very responsible reaction, but it was late. Henry should have been in bed and asleep hours ago. If Regina needed the alcohol to dull the memories, to keep the dreams away or to help her drift off then Emma wasn't going to lecture her.

Emma wasn't her own Mother, she wasn't the syrupy sweet Snow White. Emma had lived in the real world and recognised that sometimes people needed a crutch to help them get through life's hardships and bad times. If Regina's was drinking, who was Emma to judge her? Emma thought if she had been through the last 4 months like Regina had, a near death experience, losing everything including her son, attempted poisoning and dreams so vivid they gave Nightmare on Elm Street a run for their money she would drink as well. She might well drink every day until everything blurred together and nothing mattered. In Emma's humble opinion Regina was actually showing remarkable self-restraint.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Emma asked and listened to the silence on the other end of the phone.

Eventually Henry spoke, "I'm worried about her."

"Why?"

"She isn't sleeping well, she doesn't smile or laugh anymore, she is getting paler and eating less and I think she is depressed. She only ever perks up when you are here."

"She has had a rough few months, and yes she is understandably down." Emma thought about Regina, she could be losing weight. She might be drinking too much and Emma was more than aware she slept badly, so depression might well be something Regina was struggling with, but Emma knew she couldn't bring up that subject with her. It would only end up with shouting, another argument where Emma would be told to "mind her own business".

"When I googled it…." Henry began.

"Henry, listen to me – you can't use the internet to diagnose people. Your Mom needs love and understanding, not some search engine telling you she is at death's door."

"Just come over, please?" Henry was still so young, sometimes Emma forgot that. He was always trying to do what he thought was best and sometimes his innocent and naïve mind made a bad choice.

"Ok, I'll be round in a minute and we can talk." Emma prayed that she wouldn't need to take Henry back full-time. Regina needed the interaction and distraction Henry offered. He grounded her, Emma hoped she could convince Henry to start sleeping properly and stop spying on his brunette mother. If he continued to stay up late and witness drunken behaviour Emma might be forced to react and she knew no-one would benefit from the decision to separate Regina and Henry again.

Minutes later she pulled her car up to the curb and watched as Henry opened the door. She walked up the path and into the house she knew almost as well as her own.

Having sent Henry to bed because he needed to rest and because he didn't need to see his other mother like this, Emma knelt down next to Regina.

"Hey." Emma reached out a hand and gently placed it on the older woman's arm. Had this been someone else, someone she was taking into custody, Emma would have shaken them hard and been much rougher. She didn't want to do that with Regina, she didn't want to panic the already distressed woman so she used a softer tone of voice and tried to be much more measured and thoughtful while she tried to rouse the older woman.

She rather quickly realised the brunette was well out of it. She wasn't going to be woken easily and if she did wake Emma suspected she would be disorientated and unlike to be much help in walking herself to bed.

Emma lovingly bent down and tucked the brunette woman into her arms, grasping her under her legs and wrapping a strong arm round her shoulders. She tried to keep the robe in place, but it shifted and Emma had her hands touching the bare skin of Regina's thighs and could clearly see the cleavage when she dropped her eyes down to check the brunette was secure against her chest.

Emma knew she could carry the other woman, she was trim and didn't weigh much and as long as Emma took it slowly on the stairs she would be fine. She straightened up, her legs and back bearing the weight easily and she quickly crossed the room and started climbing the stairs. She refused to drop her gaze again, the view was gorgeous, but it was peeping and an invasion of privacy so she avoided it as best she could.

Regina remained quiet and unmoving, her head lolling against Emma's chest. Emma felt her breathing and smelt the alcohol with each exhale and wished she knew what to do to help. Regina getting drunk each night and sleeping on sofas and in armchairs wasn't good for her body and wasn't helping her deal with the trauma. She had closed herself away and Emma hated that, knowing from her personal experience that the feelings would just be festering and remain unresolved.

As Emma put her feet on the upstairs landing Regina flinched awake in Emma's arms, suddenly aware she was being held, restrained. She went completely rigid and her hands pushed at Emma's chest as she began to struggle and a whimper escaped her lips.

"Hey." Emma was able to lower her to the floor of the hallway and she shakily stumbled a few steps, putting distance between them. She put a hand against the wall to steady herself and pulled the robe tightly closed. She closed her eyes as she took a few breaths but Emma noticed the crack of magic that came from her hand before Regina got control of herself and the flicker immediately went out.

"It's only me." Emma stayed still and didn't try and close the distance between them. She aimed for strong yet soothing in her tone, she had no idea if it worked because Regina opened her eyes, but they still looked at her with wide eyed fear which only calmed a little as recognition filtered through the alcoholic haze.

"What were you doing?" It came out strangled, barely concealed and contained fear in the unmistakeable trembling of the words.

"Carrying you to bed, Henry didn't want you to sleep downstairs." Emma kept her hands at her side, she wanted the brunette to know she was in no way a threat.

"I will manage from here Miss Swan." So quiet, lacking the commanding tone, lacking anything that Emma identified with Regina.

"Ok, just let me tell Henry you're in bed and settled." Emma went to walk past Regina and she pretended it didn't upset her when Regina flinched away, flattened herself against the wall so there would be no chance of physical contact.

Emma stopped by Henry's door and opened it, pushing it closed behind her and then listening. She heard Regina move into her room and the click as the door shut.

Henry looked up from his book.

"Hey Kid. She's in bed now. It's time you slept too."

"Ok, but we have come up with a plan to do something to help her."

"Do we? Henry she is an adult, we can't start poking about in her life. She makes her own decisions."

"But she is so sad." Henry looked small in his bed, sadness that he couldn't help his Mom painted his face.

"Well maybe we can work on that." Emma felt bad for the boy, she knew he wasn't a bad kid; he had just inherited his grandmother's inability not to meddle.

"What kind of things did she used to enjoy doing with you before the curse broke?"

Henry thought about it and then looked guiltily away. He wasn't sure what his Mom enjoyed, because everything she had done, had been for him. They had gone to the park and she had either sat in the sun and read or run round after him. They had gone to the docks and watched the fish, the boats, but that had been because he enjoyed it. They ate at Granny's, because he loved their milkshakes and the fact that Ruby always laughed with him and they told jokes and then she'd spoil him with an extra scoop of ice cream. He thought of the festivals and town events, and how she had always bought him the junk food he'd wanted, the cotton candy and hot dogs and the bright lights. And she had laughed with him, but it had all been for him, not for her.

"I don't really know." He said in a small voice. "She was happy when I was happy, but that isn't the same, is it Emma?"

Emma sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him into a rough hug. "Hey, that's what a good parent does. I'm sure she was happy. You made her happy."

"And then I was so horrible to her, it was like I forgot all the good times and good things she had done. I know she did bad things, but not to me. Why does she still want to see me after all the nasty things I said and did to her?" Henry shook his shaggy haired head and looked up to Emma.

Emma knew the answer, a mother's love was the strongest thing and they'd forgive anything. Despite the fact Regina wasn't Henry's real mother, her love for him was true. She wondered if her own mother would also forgive anything. She hoped so as she told Henry, "She loves you. It is that simple."

"But I still don't know where we can go or what to surprise her with." Henry was frustrated and pulled away. "I need to think." He had that determined look and Emma knew he was going to suggest another mission.

"Not tonight." Emma stood. "You need to go to sleep, you can start planning first thing tomorrow. Count me in on anything you want help with."

She walked to the doorway and pulled opened the door, the light from the hallway spilling in. She turned and told Henry, "Goodnight." Before she hit the light switch and the room feel into darkness behind her as she pulled the door closed. Walking down the corridor she stopped and put her hand to the master bedroom door. Everything was silent, but then it would be, there was a silencing spell in place. Emma wanted to open the door and check on the other woman, but knew it was an intrusion. She recognised that Regina's issues were linked to personal space, an invasion of that by Emma even if she was concerned wouldn't be received well, so she brushed her fingers over the door and whispered a goodnight to the brunette before walking away with her head down.

Regina had stood ramrod straight by the bedroom door until she heard the front door close behind the blonde and then she crossed the room on unsteady legs. She felt her eyes fill with water and she collapsed onto the bed. As she sank into the mattress and let her tears fall she wished things were different. She had just upset Emma, she knew it. She had upset herself too, but she was disorientated and it had been instinctive to pull away. Now she sat and could think a little clearer she realised it would have been the perfect opportunity to just bump shoulders casually, to try and work on allowing someone into her space.

And Emma was still trying, but she obviously had no idea what to do to make things right. Regina wished she could tell her, but she wasn't sure what the answer was either. So they both stood by and watched, waiting for the other to make a move. Regina had felt Emma at the bedroom door and her heart had moved up her chest and into her throat. Part of her wanted the blonde to open the door and part of her prayed she'd just go away. She had heard the whispered goodbye and knew Emma had gone and felt disappointment sting at her. It was a lost opportunity, she needed to be brave and grasp the opportunities, needed to find some courage because Emma was understandably standing back waiting for her to make a move.

And she desperately needed to try something. She couldn't stay in this closed off shell forever. Along with courage she needed to find herself because the longer she waited the worse she felt.

But the moment had passed and she was alone, still a little drunk but not enough to fall into an oblivious sleep, so she crawled under the covers, wrapped herself tight and sobbed into her pillow and waited for exhaustion to take her.

* * *

They had formulated a simple plan, Emma was testing the waters in the kitchen a few days later.

"Careful Saviour, being seen with me will tarnish your image."

"I don't care about that, when was the last time you even left the house?"

Indignantly Regina responded, "This morning! I go out to tend to the garden every day, have you not seen the transformation from burnt and dead to flourishing and full of colour and life?"

"That doesn't count." Emma said flatly. "I mean out where people might see you, out to see more than the boundary of your property."

"Where are you suggesting?" Regina answered with another question and Emma took a few seconds to breathe deeply and remain calm.

"Maybe the park with Henry, or the docks? Just out into the fresh air, for a walk that is further than the end of your garden."

"And if I agree?"

"I'll buy you a burger and ice cream from Granny's for being a good girl." Emma answered sarcastically.

"I'm not a child Miss Swan."

"No, you are an adult and adults leave the house and socialise." Emma countered.

"Socialise with whom? There hasn't exactly been a queue of people coming to visit me. And the vast majority of the people in this town tried to kill me a few months ago, so you'll forgive me for not wanting to do polite conversation and warm smiles with them!"

"You need to move on, because believe it or not, they all have."

"Only because they know magic here is weak and I have promised not to use it so they feel safe. Plus they respect you and Henry, which is the only reason why they stopped the violence and retribution. They didn't do it for me, they don't respect or want me here. It is easier to stay in my house, away from them and avoiding any potential for conflict."

"You know their feelings for you haven't changed in the last 40 odd years, they hated you back then too, but you still walked tall and didn't give in. What has changed so badly? Why are you hiding away now? Where is your fire and strength?"

"It came from The Queen, and she isn't an appropriate response in this world. And I don't what Henry to see me like that. Regina was much more innocent and naïve and got easily hurt and easily taken in and used and manipulated. She doesn't have much confidence left."

"Talking about yourself in the third person isn't a good sign you know."

"So you're a therapist now are you?" Regina snarked back.

"No, but I will tell you this and I hope you believe it, because it is the truth. Regina is one of the strongest people I know. She has weathered many storms and come out the other side. Yes she has been changed by them, hurt and sometimes badly beaten, but she doesn't give up and I admire her ability to keep going, keep pushing against life. And I'd like to take her out in the sunshine and spend a day with her and maybe remind her that she is a powerful woman with more choices available to her than she thinks. Tell her she is important and has good qualities. She is a loving Mother, a hard and dutiful worker, she is smart and absolutely beautiful."

"You're biased Miss Swan, most people haven't seen me naked or had me kneel between their legs pleasuring them so wouldn't know how beautiful I am or how hard I work."

"Regina, I meant you were a good Mayor and worked well with budgets!" Emma feigned looking horrified.

She continued, "We can add wickedly inappropriate sense of humour to the list of attributes." But she was struggling to keep a straight face, her lips quirking until she was smiling at the other woman, glad to see some life and spirit flowing through her.

After a few seconds of silence Regina grudgingly agreed, "Fine Miss Swan, the three of us can go out together, to the park, a walk by the docks and then a meal out, which you will be paying for. And we will wait for a nice day, I am not going to sit on the dockside when it is blowing a gale and whipping freezing rain into my face and messing up my hair."

"Of course Your Majesty." Emma quipped, nodding slightly into a bow but at the same time she took a step back, away from Regina who looked at her like she might revert back to bodily harm.

"Really Miss Swan, it is like you don't trust me." The brunette smirked and Emma relaxed, she was still struggling to know when Regina was joking and when she really was just pissed off. But her consent and agreement was a good sign and Emma pulled up the weather app on her phone to pick a day for them to all go for a family walk.


	15. Steps Outside

Thank you for sticking with me while I have been going slow- I'm afraid this is the end of my productive phase for a little while.

Hope you are liking the story, thank you to all the followers and people who have made a favourite.

Chapter 15 for you below - in joke about J Mo included

* * *

Regina had to admit the day out had been pleasant. The weather app hadn't lied, the sun was out and there wasn't too much wind and Henry had been happy to walk by her side and hold her arm. He was growing so fast and he had made it clear that hand holding was a little childish, but it still had brought a smile to her lips that he was comfortable to be seen out with her.

Emma had paid, as she said she would, and Regina had been surprised that included a large ginger cat balloon from a seller at the park. When Emma had passed it to her Regina looked like she had lost her mind and tried to give it to Henry.

Emma had pouted and said she had specially requested that one and that Regina needed to think back and tell her why once they got home. Regina looked at the hideous balloon, but held onto the string as the damned thing bobbed away above her head.

She was surprised again when they had walked through town and Emma had stopped outside a photo store. She sent Henry inside with some dollar bills and the stub of a ticket and he came out with a large canvas wrapped in brown paper. Regina had asked repeatedly but been told it was a surprise for her. Both Emma and Henry were grinning at her and she knew she wasn't going to get anything further from them. They really were like children when they got together with their secrets, plans and operations, and yet she found herself smiling despite the annoyance of being kept in the dark about the canvas.

As a particularly strong gust of wind blew and Henry had put the quite large canvas under his arm, it caught in the breeze and he struggled to keep hold of the bulky object. The look on his face as he glared at the picture set both his mother's off laughing.

"He so looked like you then." Emma told Regina.

"I think he looked just like you actually." Regina quipped back.

"No way, the _I'm not happy_ glare was all you."

"And the _What the hell just happened?_ part was all you." Regina knew they were bickering like children, but she felt relaxed and happy, more so than she had done in a long time. When she had left her house that morning she had felt nervous, but Emma and Henry had walked either side of her, like a protective guard. With each step she began to feel better and she was pleasantly surprised.

She had worried she might feel left out and unwelcome at the park as Henry ran round, but he had pulled on her arm and she had run round with him, as best she could in her high heels. Emma had made some pointed quip about that, but there was very little that would spoil her mood if she could make her son smile and Emma's quip had been friendly rather than barbed.

At the docks Emma had sat next to her and made sure she wasn't cold, and they had engaged in idle chit chat. It was nothing heavy that involved their pasts, just some likes and dislikes, such as favourite TV shows. Regina liked quiz shows that furthered her knowledge, Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire among her choices. Emma liked things where there was a plot but more action, she had watched The A-Team and MacGyver as a child growing into a teenager and her taste in the extreme continued with Chicago Fire where something got blown up every episode.

They both settled on Star Trek as a suitable middle ground, Regina liked The Next Generation and felt it was a good moral story, with well-drawn characters and good performances and that Star Trek Voyager continued this with the added advantage of a smoking hot blonde in Seven of Nine. She managed to say it with a straight face, and yet she nudged Emma's knee with her own. Emma ignored drawing attention to the contact, but smiled brightly at the older woman saying, "Yeah, I'd heard blondes were your thing."

They both shared a smile before Emma told Regina that she preferred the new Star Trek films, which built on the Original Series without undermining them and that the casting performances were bang on from Chris Pine's arrogance as Kirk to Zachary Quinto's expressive performance as Spock and they were her favourite in the franchise. She then dropped in that Henry loved Sci-Fi and maybe they could all get the new film on DVD to watch one evening and they moved on to talk about whether sweet or salty popcorn was the best.

After they had eaten well at Granny's and Emma had stared down anyone who she deemed "looked funny" at Regina they went home and Regina made hot chocolate.

Henry had disappeared upstairs to read his new comics that he had managed to convince Emma to buy for him while they were leisurely walking through town.

Emma and Regina sat downstairs, comfortably at either ends of the sofa sipping hot chocolate. Emma was smiling, secretly she was thrilled with how the day had gone, Regina seemed to have genuinely had fun and she had learned some useful things like her favourite colour – purple – her favourite dessert – tiramisu – and that when the sun shone and caught Regina's hair and eyes when she was laughing she was the most captivatingly beautiful thing Emma had ever seen. Emma was planning on keeping that to herself, but her heart had flipped in her chest when watching Regina play with Henry, the woman caught in a moment of joy that lit her up and seemed to make her whole body hum with happiness.

It made Emma' body hum with something else, but she had quickly looked away and banished those thoughts, they weren't appropriate for a family day out with a slowly recovering woman in Regina's state.

"So have you worked out the balloon yet?" Emma asked.

"I don't like cats." Regina deflected the question. She had the vague recollection of telling Emma about a cat once, but she had been drunk and the memory wouldn't come into focus. She also had no idea why Emma would try and remind her of that night, as she did clearly recall the blonde had turned down her sexual advances and run away.

"No I guess not, I've never seen a pet in here. What about dogs?" Emma tried again.

"I love horses, the size and yet grace of them is fascinating and riding at a gallop with the wind blowing in your hair used to bring me such a feeling of being free." Regina looked down into her hot chocolate, remembering the long rides, the smiles with Daniel, the way her worries about her mother started to fall away as she rode the horse further and further away from her home. She had loved riding through field and meadow enjoying the sun beating down and the nature around her. The smell of the grass, the hay and the flowers, even the freshly turned smell of the earth. She had taken pleasure in the simple things before her life had taken a turn towards the darkness and she had forgotten how good it felt to be out in the elements relaxing under a beautifully clear blue sky. It seemed so far away and it made her sad to realise how lost she had become.

"Hey, then maybe we make our next outing the stables?" Emma suggested, trying to clear away the brunette's frown.

"That might be nice." But Regina was distant.

"Regina." Emma purposefully said her name and watched as the brunette came back from wherever she had been.

"I gave you the balloon as a reminder of a night that was special to me."

Regina let Emma talk, she was beginning to get used to Emma's rambling style where she couldn't be direct or abrupt. It appeared that Regina was in the minority when it came to being blunt and telling it like it was. She was also beginning to understand that in this world being that direct wasn't thought of as a good thing, which she struggled with correcting.

Just today at the Diner she had had to bite her tongue repeatedly when Ruby came over and was happily chatting to both Henry and Emma about things she considered too mundane to even mention. She looked at Emma as she tried to find the words she wanted to convey.

"I really enjoyed myself that night, we laughed and you relaxed and I felt we were becoming close, maybe even friends. And then I ruined it and ran away."

Emma watched Regina, who still said nothing.

"It was a mistake, one I regretted. And I want you to know that I don't intend to run away again, I learned from my mistake. I am your friend, and I'm here for you, whatever you need. If it is a drinking buddy I'm here, if it is someone to listen to then I'm here."

Regina nodded her understanding as Emma continued, "Maybe a cat was a stupid choice, they are superficial and shallow and only look for the next meal. Maybe I should have given you a dog, dogs are faithful and show loyalty and that is what I want you think of when you think of me."

The old part of Regina wanted to berate the woman for her childishness and for getting distracted about the difference between a cat, a dog, none of it mattered, what mattered was the thought attached to the gift.

She didn't snap at her because a bigger part, the one that had enjoyed her company all day, smiled at the kindness and stupidity of the blonde. It was a token gift and she was concerned, wondering if it was right, which was so very idiotic and yet sweet but also so very much Emma Swan. She didn't think Emma had meant to use the word faithful, especially not as an implication about their sexual relationship, but Regina had no doubt Emma intended to be faithful to her as a friend and also as a lover. Today's events had touched her and she felt better than she had since the night of the dream. She knew that Emma cared for her and that made her smile genuine and she felt some of her fears beginning to slip away.

Not wanting the blonde to know quite how much she valued the declaration she quipped, "You are exactly like a cat Miss Swan, you always think with your stomach. I'm sure you'd be anyone's if they offered you enough bear claws."

"But I'm not anyone's." And Emma stopped talking, afraid she might say too much as she connected eyes with the brunette.

They were saved an awkward moment as Henry came bounding back into the room with the wrapped canvas which he thrust into Regina's hand.

"You need to open it." He said with his smile lighting up his whole face.

Regina obliged and felt her heart flip over at the sight of Emma and Henry grinning back at her, the photo was lovely and had been blown up to fill the canvas. She felt they were both looking directly at her and their smiles were infectious.

Emma stood and took the picture from her hands, taking it out to the hallway where a hasty repair had been made to the wall to cover the hole the vial had been pulled out from. It looked messy and Emma held the canvas over the botched area and raised an eyebrow to Regina about hanging it there.

"That seems perfect Miss Swan, I'll fetch the hammer and you can get to work."

"Hey I'm not an unpaid slave!" Emma shouted to the retreating brunette who laughed and Emma's heart skipped a beat for the second time that day.

As Regina handed over the tools there fingers brushed and Emma looked at Regina questioningly. Regina struggled internally but didn't pull away, she needed to work through this.

When taking Emma's empty mug from her she allowed their fingers to brush again and it was easier.

It was a far cry from the intimacies they had shared, but it was a start and Regina let Emma stand next to her to dry up the mugs.

* * *

Regina walked up her path as Henry ran off down the sidewalk. They had been out together and she had enjoyed listening to him try and explain his new PlayStation game to her. She had no idea what he was talking about but his excitement was clear to see and she nodded in the right places and was able to ask enough questions so that she didn't look like a completely clueless parent.

As he left she sighed, she was home to her empty house, and it would be a long night without any company. She put her key in the lock and was immediately suspicious when it only turned once before opening. She always double locked it. As she opened the door she could smell garlic? Yes it was garlic, fried with something but she wasn't sure what. It didn't smell bad, in fact it smelled quite pleasant.

She panicked a little before thinking that if someone meant to harm her they were unlikely to cook for her. She climbed the stairs a little warily, her heart beating faster and feeling heavy in her chest.

As she reached the kitchen doorway Emma turned round from the stove and grinned at her.

"Henry gave me his key, I hope that was ok? I made us some dinner, it's nothing compared to the things you make, but I hoped you could have a relaxing evening and we could talk?"

"Talk about what Miss Swan?" Regina wasn't surprised it was Emma, things had been thawing over the last few days since the "family date" but she had been momentarily shocked and worried downstairs and her heart hadn't quite returned to its normal rhythm. She wasn't as welcoming as she could be.

"Anything you want to, it doesn't have to be heavy. We can put some music on and drink some wine."

Unsure why she was agreeing, although the food did smell quite good, Regina pulled out a seat and watched Emma move round the kitchen. She didn't have the grace Regina did and Regina looked horrified at the growing pile of dishes and pans in the sink, but Emma was trying as she added some seasoning to a bubbling pan. Emma had dressed up too, she had on a nice silk blouse, tucked into her smart black skinny jeans and Regina saw hints of eye shadow and lip gloss under her hair which was held loosely in a ponytail.

Regina didn't know what was happening, was this a date? They weren't dating if that was what the blonde thought. A few trips to the park with Henry and a few greasy Diner meals did not win you Regina Mills.

"Relax." It was as if Emma had read her mind. "This is just a friendly dinner, no strings." Regina swore she went to grasp her hand, she noticed a slight movement by Emma's side as her hand twitched before the blonde must have thought better of it and spun away to tend to stirring a pan.

The meal was pleasant, and as had become habit the last few days, while stacking the plates and washing up they occasionally rubbed shoulders against each other or their fingertips connected. They ignored it and talked about Henry, about learning to cook as Regina had been quietly surprised that Emma could cook anything and about upcoming town events. It was a nice evening and Regina felt content as she looked at her empty dessert plate. It had been a lovely gesture, to be cooked for, spoiled even. She wondered how to return the favour and was going to ask when Emma cut in.

"You cook for me all the time, it was my turn."

"In my kitchen, with my things and I had to wash up too." Regina looked pointedly at the blonde.

"Hey, it isn't a date. We are just friends. Friends share the cleaning up. And I did buy the food, so please give me some marks for effort at least." Emma leaned up against the counter and watched the brunette as she swished past and out of the room.

"Yes Miss Swan, I'll give you marks for effort, it was actually very nice."

"No need to sound so surprised!" Emma called out as she pushed herself from the counter and opened the fridge to get the white wine she had put in there to chill earlier today. She grabbed two glasses and followed Regina into the front room. It was dimly lit, Regina had put on a side lamp, not the main overhead chandelier and the stereo was on low.

It was intimate, and Emma didn't want to think that maybe things might escalate if she was lucky. She couldn't push Regina, she knew that was wrong, she needed to wait for the brunette to come to her. She just hoped that maybe Regina was slowly getting her confidence back, slowly healing from the horrific experience of the dream and that maybe she'd let Emma in. Emma wasn't talking about sex, yes she wanted a physical relationship with Regina, but she wanted more than anything to be her confidant, to be trusted and feel wanted and useful in Regina's life.

She sat and poured them both a glass, relaxing into the soft cushioning of the sofa as she sipped her wine.

Regina watched her, "No beer tonight Miss Swan?"

"I can do refined when I need to." Emma supplied, but dropped a wink as they both smiled.

"Yes, you can. And you do it very well, you should cook more and order take away less."

"But I like take away." Emma whined and Regina saw Henry in the facial expression Emma pulled.

"You seem to like things that aren't very good for you, fried breakfasts, yellow death trap cars, bear claws, Evil Queen's." Regina's mask didn't slip but the weight of her statement filled the room.

"What can I say, I like to live dangerously." Emma looked carefully at the brunette.

"Maybe as your friend I think you should be taking more care of yourself." Regina didn't know why she was doing this, trying to push the blonde away. She knew letting anyone get close scared her, but she was also realising that not having Emma in her life was scary. They had enjoyed an intimate meal which had been really nice. She had relaxed in the company so she wondered what was wrong with her as with every word falling from her mouth she knew it would drive Emma away. She was unable to stop, but she felt a weight settle in her chest and her heart beat painfully, her body telling her she was being stupid. Each thud could have brought tears to her eyes if she hadn't put the mask in place.

"I service the car regularly, despite what you might believe and it is perfectly safe. I exercise often and run several miles a week to burn off the calories and stay in shape. I'm not as careless as you think I am, I can be an adult when it is needed."

"What about me Emma, I'm not a good choice. Even as a friend I have betrayed people, I left Jefferson in Wonderland, I tried to kill Maleficent and I killed my own Father, my only real friend. I don't deserve your friendship."

"It is my choice Regina. My time, energy and effort to give up. I chose to be your friend and the things you've just told me, I knew them anyway. I'm making an informed decision and am prepared to invest it in you regardless because I believe you are worth it. You aren't that person anymore, please give yourself a chance. You'll never be happy if you keep questioning whether you deserve it."

"But I don't deserve it." Regina looked at her with a haunted expression in her eyes. Emma felt the truth of the statement, that Regina really believed she didn't deserve to be happy or have someone stand beside her and call her a friend, a lover or family.

"Don't say that." Emma whispered, tears pricking at her eyes from how low Regina's self-esteem must be. "Everyone deserves a friend. Everyone deserves a chance. I haven't had much in my life, because I moved around a lot I didn't form deep friendships. Then I went to prison which meant a lot of people avoided me when I came out, but I've been given a second chance here. A second chance with my son, I've found my family and I have friends. When I left prison I felt awful, like my life was over. But it has all finally fallen into place. You are in a bad place but trust me you can't give up, you never know what is round the next corner."

"Emma I'm not like you. You were born a good person, eventually life was going to reward you for your suffering."

"Do you really believe that?" Emma asked. "That it is as simple as good and evil and you were born evil?"

"I know that Maleficent, The Dark One and I don't seem to have done very well in life. It is like our desires don't matter and that we will always lose. There must be a reason."

"I can't speak for Maleficent, but I know you aren't evil. The Dark One is different, you can't compare yourself to him."

"Emma….." Regina began but the blonde cut her off.

"No Regina, listen to me. I have seen bad people, been beaten by them, shunted round foster homes by them, seen them con old ladies or cheat on their ever forgiving wives. You aren't like that, you made bad choices but have recognised that and are trying to change and put some of it right. They never showed remorse and I had to track them down as a bounty hunter to get them to face their actions. You have accepted your behaviour was wrong, you are haunted by the things you did, that isn't how a bad person behaves. They can sleep soundly at night with no guilt, happily getting up the next morning to con the next gullible person."

"I killed people."

"I know. And it isn't my place to forgive you for that, but it was a lifetime ago in a different land. My Mom has killed people, so has my Dad. They aren't sat here worrying whether it was right or wrong, they are confident in their belief it was justified and have moved on."

"I don't have that belief anymore. When it happened I was certain I was right, but now the hatred and anger have begun to recede I can see that I was just violently taking my problems out on innocent people. What if I get hurt or angry again, what is stopping me becoming her again?"

"You won't. The fact you regret it and are worried is enough to tell me you have changed. Now you're just Regina, and she isn't always a good person, but she isn't Evil. You need to move on and try and live life. Enjoy my cooking and laugh at my bad jokes, treasure our son."

"I do treasure him, he is the best part of me."

"He's the best part of me too. Now will you let me be your friend rather than the other annoying co-parent?"

"I don't think you know what you are letting yourself in for. I know I'm not an easy person to get along with and anyone who is close to me is likely to get the worst of my temper and abuse when I'm angry."

"Been there, done that." Emma said flippantly.

Regina searched the blonde's face. She didn't have the ability to tell truth from lies, but she couldn't see any deception in Emma's open expression. She saw a flicker of hope, and she felt her heart expand in her chest. Emma had argued for her, fought for her. The last person to do that was Daniel and Regina didn't realise she had missed that feeling. That feeling of being worth something to someone. She might feel almost worthless to herself, but Emma didn't think she was worthless and that made a small part of her sing and rejoice.

She wanted more of the blonde, more time with her, more soft and loving words they could share. Was she losing her mind? She felt something stir deeply inside of her, she contemplated leaning over and kissing the younger woman but she didn't. Emma had offered friendship, she was respectfully not mentioning sex and Regina wasn't sure if that was even still an option between them. Certainly she felt she was being wooed tonight but she wasn't good at reading situations or people. Well, unless they were angry, Regina always recognised that because it was like looking in a mirror.

She'd take the offered friendship though, because it felt real. It was another small step, but it was moving forward and Regina recognised that she needed to embrace the small things and keep trying to grow. She couldn't continue in her stunted existence with just Henry, because as much as it scared her, eventually Henry would grow up and leave her and she would be left behind to wither and eventually die with no-one to hold her or help her.

She mentally pushed the deep and heavy thoughts away and took a sip of the wine. It was really quite good, and as she brought her eyes up she caught Emma staring at her lips as they rested against the glass. Emma immediately looked away and Regina smiled. Emma might not be talking about sex, but she was certainly thinking about it.

Regina was no-where near ready to let anyone in her bed like that, but she knew Emma was still interested and that thought was enough.

Both of them seemed to be on the same wave length as they changed the topic of conversation and moved it away from the deep and depressing past of the Enchanted Forest and Regina's lack of love in her life. The wine flowed and occasionally there was laughter until Emma suddenly stated,

"I love this song!" Emma's face had lit up and Regina saw the truth in the statement as she started to mouth along to the words.

"Dance with me?" Emma had stood and held out her hand.

"I don't think so Miss Swan." Regina sank further into her seat.

"I promise it will only be a dance, I'll be a perfect gentlewoman and keep my hands to myself."

Regina laughed. "That wasn't why I refused."

But Emma sensed the lie, it was wrapped in some truth but Emma felt the hesitation pouring from Regina, she didn't know if she could stand to be that close and share intimate space with Emma.

"I'm sure you are a great dancer." Emma walked closer and held out a hand.

"I'm a little old to be cavorting and gyrating to pop songs."

"So am I, but sometimes it's nice to left your hair down."

Regina sighed and looked at the blonde stood offering her hand.

"I swear Regina, only if you're comfortable. We stop the minute you say so. Please dance with me?"

There was the pout and longing expression that Regina always struggled to say no to. Emma had obviously spent too much time round Henry and watched him use the same expression with puppy dog eyes on her because it was an exact replica and she felt her resistance crumbling. Caving she reached a hand up and Emma grasped it and helped her to her feet.

"Can I put my hands on your hips?" The blonde asked and the brunette realised she really would be a gentlewoman and never take advantage tonight.

Regina nodded as she put her own hands loosely round Emma's neck. She felt stiff and knew she was too tense to be able to move her body to the beat of the music, so they swayed together. Emma watched her as she struggled to overcome the fear that was rippling through her. It was stupid, the emotion had no right to be there and deep down she knew she was safe. She needed to confront it and Emma was prepared to help, be patient and hold her while she worked through the issues.

Slowly as the music played and the songs changed, she did relax. And as Emma rubbed her thumbs slowly over her hip bone but never moved her hands away from her hips she felt loved and the trust between them grew. As the song changed again Emma reached up and took her hands away from her neck and gently spun her round, bringing her back to stand in front of her with hands intertwined.

Emma wanted to close the distance, to pull the other woman flush, but she didn't. She wanted to raise her hand and trail it down Regina's cheek, trace her lips with her fingertips. She wanted to breathe in the scent of her hair but she refrained, just holding her hands and watching her face for any signs of discomfort.

It was intimate without being too intimate and causing the older woman to pull away. Emma span her again, feeling pleased with herself and that was when it went wrong. As Regina moved out she lost her balance and twisted her ankle.

She stumbled unaided to the sofa and sat heavily. Emma looked shamefaced but Regina was quick to tell her it wasn't her fault. It did kill the mood they had been slowly creating as the brunette was obviously hurt and sucked sharp breathes in over her teeth when she gingerly tried putting weight on her foot.

"I can't walk on it Miss Swan." Gone was the casual use of Emma, and she tried not to let the disappointment show on her face.

"I'll get some cream and a cold compress." Emma moved away to get the items which she knew the exact location of in the mansion. Had she not been feeling so guilty and been pre-occupied she would realise that spoke volumes.

She came back and asked whether she could touch the brunette to apply the first aid she needed. But even after that Emma knew it was a bad sprain as it had swollen already.

"Will you lean on me?" Emma asked hopefully, contact between them was easier than it had been just a few days ago, and she knew it was the only way to get the older woman upstairs and into bed.

"If I have to Miss Swan." There was a jibe in that, the use of her name hadn't been harsh and despite being hurt Regina did try and smile and let Emma know she didn't blame her for this.

"Ok." Emma smiled back, and bent to help the older woman stand, Regina putting her arm over Emma's shoulders and Emma grasping her waist. Regina put her weight on her good leg as Emma pulled them flush side by side and helped support her other side. Slowly they made their way out of the room and even more slowly they ascended the stairs.

This wasn't how Emma had seen the night ending, she had hoped for maybe a goodnight kiss, a peck on the cheek not a full frontal lip smooch, but to be taking Regina to bed like this, she had never imagined that. It wasn't all bad, Regina was allowing her into her space but Emma knew she had been responsible for hurting the brunette and she felt badly, mixed feelings fighting inside her. Could she be glad of the heat they were sharing, the touch of Regina beside her when it was because the woman had damaged her lower limb? It didn't seem right but Emma was loving the closeness and trust it showed.

They reached the bedroom and Emma pushed the door open, expecting to be dismissed with every step, she was shocked when the brunette asked, "Do you have to be home for Henry tonight?"

"No, Snow's looking after him because I said i'd be late."

"Please join me?" It was almost whispered before she added, "Just to hold my hand?"

Emma lay down and stretched out on the bed and moved her hand to cover the older woman's.

"If that's what you want."

"I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. I can't seem to find myself, I feel unbalanced and it isn't fair to you, because I know what you want and need and it isn't this." Regina indicated their joined hands.

"Are you implying I'm some sexual delinquent who needs it at least 3 times a week and hasn't got the restraint to go without for a few weeks?"

"Emma it's been more than a few weeks, believe me I'm counting too."

"Regina, it's going to take time. You letting me be here and getting this close is an improvement."

"But it doesn't satisfy either of us." Regina was being honest and Emma was trying to hide her shock. Had she drunk too much wine or was it the pain that caused her to stop deflecting? Either way Emma planned to reassure the older woman.

"Not sexually no, but there can be more than that. It makes me happy to know you are getting better and I can offer you some comfort."

"I'm frustrated with myself, I don't understand why you aren't too."

Emma could feel the brunette's frustration but she also felt it was unjustified. She responded with, "You didn't do this on purpose. And just to emphasise, I AM NOT a sexual delinquent who needs it 3 times a week, that's why I'm not frustrated."

"Your behaviour over the last few months might indicate otherwise." Regina said it with a straight face but the younger woman saw the mask which cracked almost immediately as she saw the ghost of a smile on the brunette's lips. She felt her own lips quirk in response. Emma felt her heart soar, Regina might not see it but these were small steps in the right direction, small steps to helping her find the part of her she had lost.

It wasn't lost on either woman that they had turned the usual relationship dynamic on its head. They had started with searing sex, then stilted conversation and sharing experiences and finally hand holding and intimate moments. Most people built up to the sex by getting to know each other, but it was only now the two women felt able to communicate and share, the intimacy coming after months of carnal pleasure.

Emma knew the sex would come, something that passionate and spontaneous couldn't be gone forever. They needed to go back to the beginning and her impromptu date this evening had been a chance to get closer, to touch and gently remind Regina she wasn't a threat to her. She wanted to treat and cherish her and let her know that going slow was ok. She had tried to make it abundantly clear that there was no expectation on her side that they would immediately fall back into bed together.

She just hoped Regina knew that and wasn't berating herself. Emma only wanted to help, she was under no illusion that there would be a quick fix and suddenly Regina would be back to herself. She knew Regina wasn't a particularly patient person, but she needed to give herself time and Emma hoped the brunette did at least recognise that and would give herself the time and chance to heal.

Emma stood and got Regina's pyjamas for her, knowing the woman wouldn't sleep in her underwear like she herself planned to. As she returned to the bed and settled herself back on the covers she decided that while the older woman was in an honest and sharing mood she would take advantage and asked, "Tell me what helped you through this last time?"

Emma was genuinely interested, Regina genuinely horrified. How could she say that killing Emma's grandfather had helped, becoming the Evil Queen and closing herself off so she became a hard and terrifying shell of a person was how she had in part dealt with it the last time?

"Time." Was what she settled with.

"Did you talk to anyone?"

"No, sex was most definitely not an everyday topic of conversation. The Enchanted Forest and particularly the royal circles I was moving in were very old fashioned, they were very prim and proper in comparison to this land. Even between friends speaking about sex was considered a vulgarity, let alone having to admit my husband was forceful and the act was unsatisfactory. That would never have been spoken about."

Suddenly Regina realised what she had said, she had just told Emma the person was The King, her dead husband and the blonde's grandfather. She turned away just waiting for the bad reaction she had convinced herself would come. After a minute of silence, where she didn't feel Emma radiating hatred or disbelief at her she looked at the blonde.

"I had already guessed from other things you had implied." There was a crooked smile as she continued, "I'm so sorry Regina."

The younger woman tried to look away. She was serious, she had suspected for weeks but this was conclusive proof. Regina had previously told her that her Grandfather had hurt her and Emma didn't think Regina had been the type of woman to sleep around. She seemed like she enjoyed sex (at least with Emma) but there was no way she was promiscuous, she was too refined to just take any old lover to bed so Emma suspected the person had been close to her. The King, because Emma was struggling to call him "Granddad", would be ideally placed to force himself on his much younger wife. And now she knew he had, she suspected regularly but she wouldn't push and ask Regina that.

The brunette grasped her chin and brought their eyes back together, "You have nothing to apologise for."

"It must have been terrible." Emma took the hand holding her chin and caressed the knuckles.

"It wasn't a good time in my life, but it was a different time, with different rules and laws. It was expected of a wife to please her husband, what you call marital rape was just a way of life for some women. I was one of them, your Grandfather was only taking what was his right."

"That," Emma spat the word showing her disgust, "Is no-one's right."

"But it was." And the brunette sighed loudly thinking back to a lifetime ago, "Emma I hated him, eventually I arranged his death, but his behaviour is defensible because that was how things were in The Enchanted Forest especially if you were royalty. People, even your wife, didn't deny you things. I don't defend him happily, but he wasn't the monster you want to make him. You can't hate him, just remember he is the reason for you and for Henry, so there was some good that came from his life."

Emma made a non-committing noise but didn't ask anything else about her grandfather's behaviour. Instead she questioned, "When he died you became The Queen?"

"Yes."

They were so close Emma felt the older woman's breath on her face but neither of them tried to move away. Emma pushed gently, "So you used the facade of The Evil Queen to hide? Made her the strong one?"

"Yes." It was a whispered confession, it took a lot for her to admit it but she felt safe and un-judged laying in her bed with the other woman searching her face.

Emma squeezed her hand and nodded and they just watched each other for a few moments as everything settled around them. Emma knew she was going to stay but that it would be platonic. She was more than fine with that and when Regina leaned in and placed a gentle kiss just to the left of her mouth as a goodnight gesture before she pulled the covers from under her and encased them both Emma felt her heart swell. It was simple and slow between them, but she could now see the path to follow and that at the end she might get Regina which was what she wanted.

The simplicity of a chaste kiss indicated the brunette wanted it too and the blonde had a dopey smile on her face as she went to sleep holding her hand. It might be silly to someone else but she felt she could eventually end up holding her heart instead and internally she rejoiced.


	16. Role Playing

Strong sexual content in this chapter - Mature warning.

Welcome to Chapter 16

* * *

Regina woke and heard the light breathing of a sleeping Miss Swan next to her. Her ankle felt a lot better, the compress and quick action downstairs had done wonders and she was able to get up and walk slowly to the bathroom. It still hurt but she wasn't incapable of walking which was a good thing.

When she came back she found the blonde had spread into the warm area she had just vacated, her slim limbs spread out so she was like a starfish. Regina looked at her and then looked again as a thought struck her. It was a silly thing but she knew Emma slept quite deeply and it gave her another opportunity. She remembered thinking that she needed to take the opportunities that presented themselves and be brave. She would be brave now and see what happened and where things went.

Emma was having a seriously weird dream. Weird good though. She was being held down on an unfamiliar mattress in room that was lit by the flickering glow of candles. She felt the coarse cotton of a sheet against her skin and the firm mattress felt hard against her back but she didn't care because her focus was on the long painted fingernails on the hand that was pressing on her chest.

There were beautifully brown eyes boring into her, eyes that were darkened by lust and Emma knew they were both aroused. Her nipples had pebbled and were pushing against the fabric of her shirt and she could feel the heat and moisture between her legs that made her shift uncomfortably but didn't ease anything.

The other woman grinned wickedly at her and it was a dangerous and feral action and Emma felt her mouth go dry. Instinctively Emma knew not to fight, she could feel the sexuality oozing from the woman above her, but she could also sense the magic lurking just below the surface. But she didn't want to fight, she wanted to give in, she felt intoxicated and trapped, but not in a bad way.

Feeling a leg slip against her clothed centre she had to bite back a moan, the woman still straddling her other leg and using her body weight to hold her down ran her hand between the valley of her breasts and she arched her back into the touch.

As the fingertips danced across her stomach she exhaled hard. God she wanted this, it was familiar but so very different. She went to roll her hips and increase the friction and pressure but she groggily realised everything was becoming fuzzy. The brunette above her was fading as her dream slipped and try as she might to hold on she was waking up.

Regina had lain down next to the sleeping woman, she then proceeded to roll herself into Emma's side into a position some people might have called snuggling. She was only trying to see how close she could get and how long she could stand the proximity. It was easier because the blonde was unconscious, it meant Regina could control the distance between them, she dictated the situation.

She felt the warmth between them and the rise and fall of the other woman's chest as she breathed deeply in her slumbering state. She could smell the lingering remnants of Emma's perfume and the vanilla in her shampoo. She realised it wasn't at all unpleasant and the longer she spent the more she relaxed. She caught herself as she began to drift off to sleep and jerked awake.

Deciding to push it a little further she straddled the blonde's hips so she was astride her and looking down at her. This could work, she felt the old strength and some of the power fill her. It might have been psychological and she was sure Archie would tell her she needed to stop playing games and get some real help by talking about her bottled up emotions and regrets, but she felt better. She didn't feel quite so lost, things settled in her mind and she breathed freely and was able to think of other things than the pain of the past and her dead husband.

"Hey." Emma whispered sleepily from under heavy eyelids and Regina jumped like she had been caught doing something naughty. In reality she felt she had, she had invaded the other woman's space without asking. Emma quickly felt the tension fill the other woman and reacted far quicker than her sleep addled brain should have done by placing her hands against Regina's thigh muscles, not quite restraining, but indicating she shouldn't move. Trying to reassure and to convince the other woman that it was ok and she had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to fear.

The dream had slipped away but Emma was not disappointed to what she had woken up to. She forced the lustful thoughts away though as she knew she needed to tread carefully with the heavily skittish brunette. Regina had put herself in this situation, but Emma knew she needed to calm her and get her to be comfortable and quickly before she ran away from it. Emma lightly caressed the pyjama clad thighs and smiled gently at the woman.

"What time is it?" Emma deflected the attention from their current situation.

"Early, just after 4."

"How did you sleep and how is the ankle?" Emma jumped straight back in, not giving the brunette the opportunity to pull away.

"Quite well I think, my ankle will bear my weight so I think it is only a light sprain."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Yes, it is rather tender and I'll have to go slowly on it."

"I'm sorry, I'm such a klutz." She looked down and away, and Regina brought up her hand and cupped her chin.

"Don't be sorry, it was a lovely evening. It was a very nice idea." Regina smiled softly down at the woman below her.

"This is very nice too." Emma indicated the situation they were in, Regina practically sitting on her. "Are you ok?"

"Yes. I didn't mean to wake you." Regina said before she shifted and Emma shook her head at the older woman, signalling she should stay straddled above her.

"You don't have to move, I'm quite comfortable. Are you?"

"I'm not completely comfortable, but I have to admit, being above you, feeling dominate, it is helping. I don't think I could reverse our roles."

Maybe it was the dream still being fresh in her mind, maybe it was just because it had been a while and Emma enjoyed her sex with a kink, but her mind was suddenly filling with possibilities. Ways Regina could feel comfortable by dominating her, how she would relinquish control to the brunette, how she could help her get over this by giving Regina the power to take charge of their sexual encounter.

"Then don't reverse them," Emma whispered, staring openly up at the other woman, "I will happily be the submissive, let you be as dominant as you need. I trust you."

"Not a good idea Emma. I don't even think I know how to behave like that."

"Yes you do, as the Evil Queen you took what you wanted. Take me." Regina heard the honest tone and Emma returned her sharp look with a solid gaze that showed a hint of lust and excitement.

"Emma, The Evil Queen was a façade and she is gone."

"But she helped you last time didn't she, let her help you now. She is still a part of you."

"A part I don't want to be anymore!" Regina moved violently this time and Emma let her go, knowing their brief moment of peace and calm conversation was slipping away.

"It would only be a game Regina." Emma said but she knew she needed to leave soon before things deteriorated further. The more she was speaking, the further she was pushing the brunette from her. When she had woken they were so close, she had felt the brunette's warmth and could smell the moisturiser she used on her skin. Now there was a chasm opening between them and Emma was trying to do some damage limitation to stop all her hard work from last night slipping away completely.

"Didn't you learn the last time not to play games with me Miss Swan? We both tend to lose from them."

Emma didn't know if she meant the twisted sex, the apple turnover, the pushing and pulling of Henry, the framing of Mary Margaret, there were so many games they had played. But the "Miss Swan" hit her hard and she felt bitter disappointment because they had been moving forward until a few moments ago, now she could kick herself. All of it felt like it was slipping through her fingers so she pulled her clothes on and crouched down by the older woman who was perched on the edge of the bed.

"I didn't mean to upset you, it was just a suggestion. Just take some time to think about it." Emma stood but brushed her hand up Regina's arm as she did and very gingerly squeezed her shoulder before leaving the house.

Regina sat very still, she had let Emma go again and her idea hadn't been completely bad, in fact Regina could see merit in it, but it scared her. She guessed Emma had experimented with S&M and bondage and knew much more than she did. Despite Regina's sometimes sinful outfits and sexy walk, her brazen bravado, again it was all a mask. She wasn't particularly experienced with anything other than regular sex. Certainly she knew what men liked and she had been with several of them and there had been games involved, but the games were more political with sex used to seal the deal.

She was concerned that if when she was given full control she went too far, what if she hurt the blonde or with her inexperience did something stupid or considered unorthodox? It could end up being embarrassing for her or even worse she could push Emma away if she was too rough and violently took too much. She knew people used safe words but she didn't really know much more and she had turned away from the idea because of her own fear, insecurities and inexperience.

Sitting in her pyjamas she decided she wasn't tired and should get up despite it being ridiculously early. She could use her free time to her advantage and she'd look on the internet about role playing and bedroom games. She knew there was a whole world of sex she had never investigated before but now she was going to explore some of it. She had hours to kill before Henry would come round after school, she guessed that would be more than enough time.

Several hundred internet sites later, a dozen cups of coffee and many, many surprises both about what you could find on the internet and what other people got up to behind closed doors in this world Regina looked at the clock and realised she had been immersed in her computer for far too long. It was late afternoon and time she got up and got on.

Her head was buzzing, she wasn't blind and she knew in this world there was a whole industry devoted to porn and sex toys. She had mail ordered some herself, so she was aware that people used extra stimuli, that leather and PVC sold well, cock rings and butt plugs existed to give extra pleasure, but she had no idea there was so much.

She had realised that the leather and PVC outfits weren't just for aesthetics, they were waterproof which served another purpose when coated in sweat, blood, semen and other bodily fluids. Things she had never even considered before she now realised some people engaged in, even enjoyed like water games and even coprophilia. She knew that wasn't something that interested her, but she had read in utter shock how some people got off on it and enjoyed the freedom it gave them. She wasn't judging, it was amazement and fascination that drove her, it was like she had a door opened to her and she intended to explore beyond it thoroughly.

Her search this morning had opened her eyes, wide. Things she had done to people in her dungeon back in the Enchanted Forest were considered in this world a turn on. Not by everyone, but by a significant enough proportion that there were many internet sites devoted to selling paddles, whips, chains, shackles and cuffs. Things Regina had used to inflict pain could be used to excite lovers and bring them a fantasy. People enjoyed being pushed past pain towards pleasure, although the brunette was pretty certain no-one in her dungeon had become sexually aroused from the beatings she had issued as Queen.

She wondered how far to take things, she wanted to be on top and dominate and she didn't need anything extra to be able to do that, so when the mouse hovered over the shopping basket she had filled she did wonder what she was doing. With a padded paddle, some new suspenders and stockings, crotch less panties and some restraints she clicked the button and knew the items were on their way for next day delivery.

She got up and stretched, thinking she could have just used magic to create those items. She had got caught up on the sites and she was looking forward to them arriving and trying them on. But she still held on to her promise to Henry, magic was beginning to creep into her life, mainly her sex life with Emma, but she needed to curb it and if she could find another way she knew she should. So she had spent the money at the on-line kinky sex shop and then took a few minutes to imagine the look on Emma's face seeing her in the panties. She took a deep breath as her nipples perked up, thinking of the blonde licking her lips and starring at her intimately and that made her press her own thighs together and try and ignore the slight rush of heat she felt through her body.

She had to get on, Henry would be there soon so she rushed to shower and put the oven on to make them a light dinner.

* * *

Emma found herself pressed close to Regina again. A dinner invite from Henry had turned into a pleasant evening and when Regina had said she had thought long enough about Emma's suggestion and she had an answer they had somehow ended up on the sofa. Regina was astride the blonde's lap, where she seemed to have become quite comfortable. She even hummed as Emma ran her hands up her clothed back and back down again. Her hands brushed against the woman's ass before coming back to rest on her hips.

"I'd like to investigate your idea." The brunette breathed out, sitting back and watching Emma's face.

The blonde's features lit up, her eyes danced and the brunette found it didn't disturb her, she quite enjoyed the effect she could have with just a few well-placed words. She felt more relaxed than she thought she would, but then she had consumed quite a lot of wine with dinner and then afterwards as well.

"I should warn you Miss Swan, I have found that reality is never as good as the fantasy."

"I don't believe that." Emma was pretty sure her fantasy dream could be just as hot when acted out in the flesh. Her eyes darkened just thinking about it and it would have caused the brunette to smirk about the control she already had over the younger woman, but she was thinking of something else.

"The dreams I had of killing your mother or poisoning her and making her endlessly suffer used to satisfy my blood lust, but the truth of it when it actually happened only left me feeling empty and hollow."

"I think that might say more about you and the buried regret and deep uncertainty you really felt about killing her than that the fantasy let you down." Emma looked deeply into the brunette's eyes.

"I don't think that is what happened with me, I'm certain I wanted her dead." There was conviction in the brunette's words but Emma sensed something else too, but she couldn't pin point what. She went with her gut when she said,

"I think you've always had that protective mother instinct that you show with Henry and it caused a conflict because you two had been close. You had been an older friend to her before her Step-Mother and part of you wanted to care and nurture her. I believe a bigger part blamed her and wanted to kill her, but I think that internally caused you moments of hesitation."

"I think we need to agree to disagree Miss Swan, now please release me."

Emma was amazed they had just touched on Regina trying to kill her mother and they had both remained perfectly civil to each other. Yes Regina was pulling away but Emma had thought such a conversation could only been had by shouting with blame and recriminations. She readily let go of the thighs that were settled either side of her hips. She had never been holding on tight in a restraining position, more resting her hands against the soft fabric and enjoying feeling the body heat coming from the brunette woman against her open palms.

Emma knew they had got caught up in a different conversation and they hadn't discussed the role playing. She wasn't going to push the older woman though, if Regina wanted to experiment with it, and she was certain she did, she would wait for her to bring it up.

Regina went to move but thought of something and settled back down.

"While I have your full attention." Emma looked up at her and nodded for her to continue.

"Can Henry move back in with me on a more permanent basis?"

Emma smiled up at the woman, knowing Henry would happily agree and that there was no reason to say no. Regina had done everything for him, changed remarkably for the better despite having obstacles thrown in her path time and again.

She said, "50:50 then? That would be fair, a shared custody arrangement?"

"That sounds agreeable to me." Regina nodded her head, a smile touching the corners of her mouth. She wanted more, but she acknowledged this was an improvement on what she had. She would have to enjoy her extra nights with him and be patient.

The brunette went to move again and Emma let her, briefly sliding her hands down the brunette's legs and trying not to suck in a breath at the loss of heat as she moved her body away.

They chatted lightly until Emma got up and made an excuse to leave. As Regina walked the younger woman to the front door she remembered the words they had exchanged all those months ago that started this. The drunken accusations and then the violence of the kiss. She reached out a hand and grasped the leather of Emma's jacket.

"Emma."

The blonde turned and reached out to grasp her other hand. She saw the hesitation on Regina's face, her eyes darted away before settling on hers. Emma tried her best to smile reassuringly.

"Say it, it's ok, whatever you want."

"I have reservations, but I also find the idea quite appealing. I would like to see where it takes us."

"Then we will try." Emma squeezed her hand.

"How do we start?" Regina didn't look like herself, she looked a little lost and the uncertainty in her was obvious, it filled the air and Emma wanted to pull her into her arms. She still wasn't sure they were in a place where she could do that. Yes they were physically getting closer, but on Regina's terms. She settled on telling the truth.

"You take me, dominate me, make me." The words hung between them, but Regina heard the sincerity in them.

"Emma." She started, wanting to give the blonde another chance to back out. She knew if they went down this road it wouldn't be something either of them could pretend had never happened. Letting The Queen out to play could end badly for both of them.

"No Regina, I trust you. Trust me. You need to feel safe and let go and I can help you with that. If that is who you need to be to get past this, that's what we'll do."

"If I hurt you…." The brunette still wasn't at all sure this was a good idea despite her bringing it up.

"Then I asked for it. And to be honest, pain and pleasure between us is a very fine line. And from the pictures in the book I'd be lying if I didn't say part of me is already turned on thinking about the leather and corsets." Emma gave her a quirky smile.

"You don't know or understand what you are getting yourself into."

"Then show me, My Queen." Emma dragged the words out, they were low and husky and dripped with desire. And Regina did want her, wanted this. The tone ignited something in her and she struggled.

She turned away, she couldn't stand the way Emma was looking at her, like this was a good thing. Emma found the idea arousing, Regina just felt trapped. She felt trapped by her past and her memories. She felt trapped and frustrated that she couldn't move on from that night so many years ago, the hurt and scars it had left her with felt fresh and as deep as the night they were inflicted.

There was the deeply buried feeling she wasn't good enough and she didn't deserve to be happy or satisfied. She warred within herself, part of her believing the punishment had been justified. She had failed as a wife and a queen, she hadn't produced an heir, she hadn't been able to satisfy her husband, she hadn't been able to be a mother or friend to the Princess, surely some of the blame had to be hers. And that treatment and the never ending guilt had driven her to become someone else, had helped to twist her into The Queen.

"She is the worst parts of me, pain, destruction, darkness and anger. Henry brought some goodness to me, and light to my life. She has nothing good in her life and lives on festering bitterness and regret. She thrives on hurting others. You don't want to put yourself in those hands."

"You'll still be under there Regina, it's only role playing."

"What if I lose myself and don't come back?" She whispered the fear, the thing that bothered her more than anything. The Queen was a front, she hid and protected Regina. The badly broken and damaged Regina who had lived through pain and heartache, who still cried for her lost love and her lost self in the lonely and dark nights. And it was easier to be The Queen, it was easier to play the character and not think about the past, the consequences, and the broken and hurt person underneath it all.

"You won't lose yourself. I have faith in you, Henry has faith too. You are better than that now, just use her strength, play the role, enjoy the freedom being her allows you. Don't care, just be and take what you want, what you need."

"I told you before, I don't know what I need."

"I can't help you there. You're incredibly talented and clever so think about it, how to play the role, what will give you a thrill and know I'll play my part. I'll be here waiting when you make the decision."

"Emma, don't you think this is a little sick and twisted? Don't you think maybe I need therapy rather than regressing to a past persona?"

"Yeah maybe, but you said a long time ago you weren't prepared to talk to Archie, so I'm just thinking on my feet and doing my best to offer you an alternative. It isn't like either of us is conventional or conforms anyway, why would our solution be main stream? Of course we can always try our own version of therapy and you can open up and talk to me if you want?"

"I think I'd rather stick needles in my eyes." Regina lightened the moment with dark humour and Emma responded.

"Talking to me isn't that bad! I'm actually a good listener. But yes, I get it. Angry sex with the Queen it is. We'll try it and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say."

Regina had massive reservations and thought there was a possibility they might not gain anything but she kept quiet. Emma was willingly offering herself up, and Regina knew that would be refreshingly different between them. She had new toys to play with and a blossoming part of her that looked forward to this. Her sexual appetite was awake, softly and slowly, but she felt it twinge inside a part of her that had previously felt dead. She had better go to her vault and pick out some clothing. She stood in the doorway and watched Emma leave the house, her mind already setting out a plan.

* * *

"So" Emma started slowly, "Your Majesty." She licked her lips and knelt in front of Regina, looking up into eyes that she failed to recognise, they were set like steel. Her jaw was suddenly gripped tight and her head tipped further back. Emma felt the burn in her stomach muscles where her body was being held at an uncomfortable angle, pushed further back and to stop her overbalancing and falling her muscles were protesting.

Her face was studied, the glare she found herself under was intense and when the Queen lowered her face downwards Emma had to remember to breath and refrain from swallowing repeatedly.

Emma hadn't fully appreciated how different the change would be in the woman before her. She hadn't realised Enchanted Forest clothes, a stylized hairdo, deep lipstick and lace up knee high boots would make her mouth so dry and her hands clammy with perspiration.

Then Regina had spoken, her voice so different to the softness that often took place in the bedroom. This was commanding, the voice crackled with power and Emma knew she would obey whatever command was issued.

"You are not fit to say my name yet, Peasant." The Queen seemed to spit the word, repulsed by even the sound of it. "You must earn that privilege."

Emma stayed on her knees, her eyes trained on the floor, waiting for instruction as she was circled by the older woman.

"You can begin earning that right by kissing my boots."

The black leather was thrust before the blonde's face and she bent at the waist to place her lips against the material.

"Quite obedient then, good, I like that in a slave. Keep behaving and I might not need to restrain you later."

Emma felt the need to clench her thigh muscles, The Queen looked fabulous, the dark material with flashes of colour and beading that caught the low light in the room wrapped her figure tightly and she had cleavage standing out and straining against her corset. She looked slim but curvy and Emma noticed the painted fingernails that looked just like the ones from her dream. Her lips looked fuller than usual, the make-up was darker and drew Emma's eye to them. Her eyes were smoky under dark eye shadow and the voice was rich, deeper and firm. Just the way this woman spoke had her wet and aroused, she was still clothed and she was glad her aroused state was hidden from the Queen.

"Unlace my boots."

Emma went to move her hands but found the boot pulled away from her.

"Not like that Girl, use your teeth." There was coldness in the voice, a detachment, almost like The Queen didn't care if she unlaced the boots but Emma knew there would be punishment if she didn't. The threat was conveyed in her whole attitude and demeanour.

Emma looked up and her face was instantly gripped in a harsh way, a finger and thumb were pressed roughly against her chin.

"I know you aren't deaf, so get on with it before I lose my patience." And she was released to take a bootlace in her mouth and pull on it with her teeth so the knot came undone. Emma was able to use her tongue, lips and teeth to loosen the laces and she put her chin on the toe of the boot so The Queen could remove her foot from first one then the other boot.

Emma sat back not allowing herself to feel pleased or to show any emotion on her face, she was waiting for the next command.

"I recently received a gift." The Queen mentioned, like she was making idle conversation. "Would you like to see the gift?"

"Yes My Queen." Emma breathed out, she was trying to remember to be subservient but she wanted to look at Regina's face, her eyes. She felt captivated, wanting to look at the stunning beauty but knowing she shouldn't and kept having to force her eyes to the floor.

The brunette pulled out a box and placed it on the bed. She opened it slowly, lifting the box so Emma could see the contents and revealing a wooden paddle. Emma knew it was padded but if The Queen used the reverse side then she could inflict some serious damage if she decided to beat her. Emma wondered where The Queen intended to use the paddle on her skin. It would be usual to be paddled on the ass, but this was The Queen who had never been considered conventional. Emma found the thought came and went, flashing through her mind and being dismissed as irrelevant because she was completely under her spell and would let The Queen do anything.

There was a sliver of fear before Emma let that go too. It travelled down her spine like cold fingers but as it hit the base it morphed into heat. It became desire that pumped round her body. Instinctively Emma knew this wouldn't go too far, it would be just enough for The Queen to show her power and authority. If she needed any reassuring that Regina was in control and would curb the aggression of The Queen she only had to think about tomorrow. They were meeting Henry the following morning where Emma would need to walk about freely, there was no way Regina would jeopardise that or want more awkward questions from Henry.

Plus she had said she trusted the older woman, and she did, she just hadn't expected any of this to be quite so intense. Regina had been right, fantasy often wasn't like reality, but this reality was flooding her senses and had her on a journey where she didn't know the destination but she was eager to explore and get there.

"Bend forward." The command was crisp.

Emma did as she was told, and felt the paddle caress her ass cheeks through the fabric of her jeans.

"Crawl forward, it would please me to see you perform." And Regina found that it really would. It was a chance to study the blonde from a different angle, to see the fabric stretched tight over her shapely ass and watch her muscular forearms bear her weight. Her breasts swayed slightly with the movement and The Queen licked her full lips.

Emma did as she was commanded, feeling the brunette's eyes heavy on her skin, knowing she was being studied like a sexual object and swaying her hips slightly to make a show of it. She moved away from the bed and then back again, forming a round circuit on the floor. As she moved she was glad for the carpet of the bedroom on her hands and knees.

"Faster." The paddle fell on her ass, not particularly hard but enough to drive her to move more quickly. She kept her eyes on the floor, watching her hands as they sank into the carpet.

"It occurs to me part of the thrill of this is seeing the marks I leave on the pretty pale skin." And with a flick of the wrist Emma found herself without pants. The paddle came down again, catching the back of her thighs as well as her ass. The blonde felt it more this time without the denim to absorb the impact. She remained silent though and continued to move on her hands and knees.

As Emma crawled round by the bed completing another full circuit of the room she knew she was in front of The Queen who had moved to the foot of the bed. Emma raised her eyes without moving her head and took in the shapely calves and the beaded fabric of the dress. She went to continue crawling and put her hand out but The Queen moved slightly and she found her way blocked. The Queen leaned down and held out her hand in a universal stop sign. Emma ceased moving but kept her head down, waiting patiently for the next order like a good and loyal subject of the Kingdom or in this case, Queendom.

The brunette grasped a handful of her hair and lifted her face.

"I think I want to play a game. Sit up."

She then opened her hand and displayed a dice. She rolled her wrist and shook her hand releasing the dice onto the floor.

"Read the number, Wench."

Emma saw it was a 4. She dutifully answered, "My Queen the number is four."

The Queen hummed to herself then said "Four strokes then."

She proceeded to lay the paddle against the blonde's ass and raised it. When the blow landed Emma knew the woman hadn't released her full power, but she did feel the connection and she struggled to remain upright balanced as she was on her knees. With each blow The Queen hit her slightly harder and then inspected the area. Emma felt the heat coming from her ass and knew it must be quite red. It smarted but she had been beaten harder by foster parents and as The Queen used her cool hand to cup her ass it eased the fiery feeling.

As the fourth blow landed Emma over balanced and she struggled to get her hands out in front of her to take her weight. She moved to sit again but there was a restraining hand on her back.

"Don't move."

The blonde felt The Queen move round and stand behind her, admiring her stroke work. She noticed the arousal that coated the blonde's underwear and got closer to smell it.

"I wasn't sure you enjoyed that My Dear, but your arousal coats your undergarments."

"It is all for you, My Queen." Emma breathed out as The Queen dipped out her tongue to snake it across the reddened skin. Emma wanted to shudder, she had played games with other people, allowed them to tie her up and returned the favour. But this was something else, there was power oozing from the other woman and yet she was gently lapping at Emma's ass to ease the sting she had inflicted. It spoke volumes about the connection between them and Emma clenched her thighs again so that The Queen noticed. She inhaled the scent of Emma before she pulled away. She was close to losing her carefully placed facade of The Queen so she knew she needed to move away from the younger woman.

"I grow tired of this game, I think it is time for another. Turn around and face the windows."

Regina pulled up the dress to show the crotch less panties and moved away from the bed, swaying her hips in front of the blonde as she crossed the room. She sat down on the chaise with her legs spread on either side of her.

"You have behaved quite well. Well enough to watch. But you will sit there and not move until I tell you to." The Queen issued her orders as she moved her fingers lower and spread her lips and teasingly ran her finger against the most sensitive part of herself.

In that position she was giving the blonde a full view of her glistening pussy as she began to stroke herself. She was quite wet, surprisingly so, she was enjoying this more than she should. As her fingers circled her clit and she watched Emma's face twitch trying not to show her own arousal and struggling with staying quiet. She thought they were both enjoying this, yes it was pushing boundaries between them, but they were new and exciting and she felt her body rock into her fingers and she struggled with her own moan of pleasure.

She played with herself for a few minutes but eventually she took pity on them both but especially the blonde. She had watched Emma shifting, knowing she was becoming increasingly frustrated and after she had dipped her fingers inside herself and they came away soaked she knew she was ready for the next part of the evening. As she removed her fingers she felt her inner walls try and clasp them and she began to believe that this situation might be enough to push her body through to completion. She still didn't know if she was going to come but if she did she didn't want it to be at her own hand. She stood on slightly weakened legs and held her fingers out to the woman still kneeling on the floor.

"Do you want to taste your Queen, Wench?"

Emma nodded violently, yes she wanted to be allowed to touch The Queen, and she didn't care how. She had been mercilessly teased watching Regina touch herself, from her position on the floor she could perfectly see the woman's arousal and her centre that had become more and more wet with the flowing juices. She had watched Regina's fingers dance faster and harder and wished they were her own and adding to her discomfort she could smell the aroma of sex lightly fragrance the air in the room. It was driving her mad with desire and yet she knew her place, so she clenched her fists and her jaw and she continued to only watch.

It was torture for her as she was getting more and more turned on from seeing The Queen touch herself. She thought part of the smell in the air might be her own arousal, she was struggling, licking her lips and shifting on the floor but nothing eased the throbbing of her clit. Even her shirt wasn't helping as she shifted her weight it rubbed her sensitive nipples that were standing rigid and the Queen noticed as Emma circled the offered fingers with her hot mouth.

"Your breasts are perfect My Dear." And The Queen tweaked a hard nipple. She felt the blonde moan around her fingers. Regina pulled her fingers away and they were released with a loud pop in the quiet room.

"I think it is time you had a proper taste. I want to use your skills to my full advantage."

Emma was pulled upright by her shirt so she was standing and she was able to see the brunette was slightly breathless.

"I refuse to kneel on the floor, so I shall have to let your peasant skin touch my bed. You had better behave."

Emma nodded her accent but she had only a moment to look at the brunette's eyes, eyes full of lust and wanting before she was pushed back on the bed by magic. As she lay flat she lifted her head so she could look at the woman coming towards her. Regina hadn't bothered to disrobe, she just bunched the fine and decorated material up at her waist, so Emma had a view of her shapely legs and auburn curls.

"You do not get to touch."

Emma found her hands were being bound to the bed by magic. The black ties held her arms firmly at her sides as the brunette moved dangerously towards the bed.

"You will let me ride your face until I come and you will be grateful as my juices coat that dirty mouth and pretty features."

She knelt at the base of the mattress and Emma marvelled at how she still managed to stalk up the bed on her knees with her dress bunched round her waist. Soon Emma lost sight of everything except the glistening lips and smooth toned thighs that were straddling her face. Emma inhaled the smell of arousal, the musky and heady aroma of the brunette before the woman spread her legs wider and lowered herself on to Emma's waiting mouth.

Emma desperately wanted to use her hands, to spread the woman above her or to use her fingers to bring the brunette extra pleasure by playing with her clit. Failing that she would be touching herself, brushing her own bundle of nerves to try and relieve some of the pressure inside of her. Grinding herself into the mattress and shifting as her arousal seeped from between her thighs wasn't helping. She was getting wetter as she could feel Regina's arousal drip on her, as she ran her tongue over the swollen lips and lapped up the juices, using her neck muscles to lift her head and part the inner lips with her nose and tongue. She then set to attacking the woman's centre with greedy strokes of her tongue, not quite entering her, just applying pressure that caused the woman above her to rock her hips.

Regina felt her body responding, Emma was below her and she was alternating thrusting her tongue deeply inside her and sucking greedily on her clit, almost hard enough to hurt before gently smoothing her tongue over it and creating a delicious friction as she lapped the bundle of nerves before returning her attention to Regina's soaking centre.

Regina felt the tightening low in her belly, she began to grind down harder on the woman below her who never stopped her attentive tonguing of her lower lips. Feeling everything slowly winding up into an unbearable tension the brunette jerked her hips to try and get closer to the probing tongue, to spread herself more fully and rock faster against the blonde's busy mouth. Sensing the urgency Emma began to scrap her teeth lightly over her clit before swirling her tongue over and over again.

Regina felt the orgasm threaten, it was building almost like a wave before it came crashing down around her. And like a wave it roared through her, washing away anything in its path. The negativity, the bad feeling and the self-doubt all ebbed and she felt tears prick at her eyes. She had to bring her arm across her mouth to stop a loud sob from escaping.

As her body began to convulse and she felt pure relief flood through her followed by a warmth and satisfaction she had been missing for too long. She had found the illusive release and with it she felt so much joy bubble up inside her. She hadn't realised how scared she had been that this problem might have been irreversible but she knew now she wasn't broken, and the tears were happy ones as they spilled down her face. She quickly wiped them away as she felt stupid for such a reaction and as she rode out the high she realised she needed to get off Emma and give her some well-deserved air. She quickly put the mask of The Queen back on, and it slipped into place effortlessly, but it was an act now because inside she was smiling.

As Regina moved from Emma's face she looked at the glistening moisture Emma was trying to lick from her face. She felt the strong desire to gratefully kiss the blonde but knew that was out of character. So instead she said, "That was a passable performance. Worthy of a kiss I think." The kiss wasn't tender, it certainly didn't communicate grateful. It was about taking as The Queen thrust her tongue into Emma's mouth. It was about ownership and The Queen sunk her teeth into Emma's lip as she pulled away.

"I see you enjoyed the taste of royalty then." Regina said between licking her own lips, savouring the taste of herself transferred in the kiss.

She cupped the blonde through her soaked panties and hummed at the feeling. "Yes, you are positively dripping. I like that." She teasingly ran her finger over the fabric and the look on her face was one of complete satisfaction as Emma bucked her hips.

"Now now My Girl, we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for mine." And Regina pulled her hand away and Emma could have screamed. She was being pushed closer to her release and then having it taken away, The Queen knew exactly how to tease and how much to touch her before withdrawing again and it had Emma's body aroused to a point she wasn't sure she had ever experienced before. She wasn't even naked and she had hardly been touched and yet she knew it wouldn't take much contact from the older woman to bring her a release that she felt winding up inside her with each passing minute.

As if reading the blonde's lust-filled mind The Queen said, "I think I'm over-dressed, this will only get in the way for what I have planned next." And with another flick of her wrist the dress disappeared leaving Emma with a view of the woman bending over her in just her a lace up corset that barely hid her breasts. If Emma had been able to move her hands she might have struggled not reaching out and cupping them. They were practically falling over the tight confines of the material and she sucked in a breath and moaned quietly as she strained momentarily against the bindings before collapsing on the bed.

She was left just watching as the woman above her lowered herself against her thigh and she felt the hot, wet arousal coat her leg as the woman slide herself against the strong muscle and then settled with a deep chuckle.

"You have a fine figure for a peasant, it is strong yet soft. Your ass was positively beautiful, it begged to be paddled."

"Thank you My Queen." Emma was losing the fight to regulate her breathing, she knew her voice was husky and was displaying her need as much as her body was.

"I think you are also overdressed, I want to see your breasts. I want to inspect them and see if they are also as fine as the rest of you. Would you like me to do that, Wench?"

"If it pleases you, Your Majesty." Emma was able to breathe out as her clothes disappeared from her body and she was left naked under The Queen's gaze. She already knew her nipples were unbearably hard and as the older woman snaked her finger tips up her abdomen tracing the muscle tone there she couldn't help the shudder that ran through her.

As The Queen cupped her breast and rolled a nipple Emma had to bite back a gasp but her body still arched into the woman's warm hand, trying to prolong the contact.

"Yes, I admit you are a particularly fine example. Maybe I shall allow you to warm my bed again."

She pounced forward without warning and kissed the blonde, punishing her breasts in a crushing grip between their two bodies and rubbing her thigh into Emma's centre. Emma felt every nerve ending catch fire and she moaned as The Queen began to rub herself over her leg.

The older woman suddenly stilled the kiss and sat up, still rocking her hips and pleasuring herself against the blonde's leg. She began to unlace the top of the corset and when her breasts spilled free she cupped them and pulled leisurely at her erect nipples.

"I have to admit I would allow you to touch me, it would even please me to have your hands where mine are now." She looked at the blonde who was struggling to focus on the words through the haze of desire burning through her. Regina looked at her eyes that were so dark and even she was surprised how much moisture had dampened her leg when she had surged forward and kissed the younger woman and brushed against her centre. Emma was unbelievably aroused and sensing that aroused the brunette more.

"But," she continued, "That would ruin my plan for later, where I want you fully at my mercy."

A half strangled noise came for the blonde, Regina was certain she hadn't meant to vocalise anything and let it go, instead tracing her fingers up the inside of the younger woman's strong thighs before continuing up her own body with a feather-light touch before she reclaimed her breasts. She massaged them and flicked the tips but she knew she wasn't going to be able to come from this, it was just a show for the other woman.

Having planned this thoroughly Regina knew the next part was likely to drive the blonde crazy with need so when she lifted her body away from the other woman she enjoyed the look of disappointment that touched her features before she tried so very hard to school them into a mask. Having nowhere near the experience the brunette did it was only partially successful and The Queen grinned wider at the woman's discomfort.

Regina knew this was a game, when she gave in and actually touched Emma properly then she hoped this would all be worth it. She hoped Emma would come gloriously, she certainly deserved it as she had played the game faultlessly and Regina hoped the orgasm when it came would render her speechless.

She waved her wrist and a harness and dildo appeared on Emma's knee. "Much better." She nodded at the attachment. She was that wet she doubted she needed any lube but she squirted some into her palm anyway so she could make a show of rubbing the phallus and dripping the cold oil onto the blonde's burning hot skin. With each stroke of her hand she felt the blonde trying to shift under her, she could almost feel the twitching of the younger woman's sex there was so much tension coming from her. As she drizzled some stray lube onto a naked thigh and watched it trickle so slowly down the soft skin and towards Emma's pussy she smiled at the younger woman who at the first contact inhaled a shaky breath.

"I'm going to ride this, ride you. This way I can plunder your mouth as I chose and you can suckle at my breasts. Do you understand, My Good Girl?"

The words, the praise filled Emma. "Yes." There was nothing else to say, she set her leg on the bed so it wouldn't move under the new weight and then watched as the beautiful creature mounted the protrusion.

Regina lowered herself and felt the length fill her. It was slightly bulbed at the base and there was ribbing that would stimulate her clit and she felt fairly certain with Emma tonguing a nipple she would come quite quickly, so she began to undulate her hips and leaned her weight forward onto her arms so she could impale herself backwards onto the full length of the silicone cock.

Emma moved with her, giving her just the right angle to work with and she smiled at the way the younger woman didn't need to be told. She kissed her, it was sloppy as she was focusing on maintaining the connection with the phallus and Emma was still restrained so couldn't move her head too much, but it was enough. She felt her heartbeat increase and she began to grind down harder and faster with each stroke.

When Emma pushed her leg and therefore her knee slightly higher up the bed Regina moved with it so her breasts were hanging freely over the blonde's waiting mouth. She was able to catch a nipple with her teeth and grazed the sensitive bud before sucking hard. It was harder without her hands and with the wanton woman above her riding her but Emma fought to keep the nipple captive and played with the flesh between her teeth and with her tongue.

Regina's response was a guttural moan as she bucked her hips, she was gyrating so far forward that the cock nearly slipped out of her before she hammered herself back onto it, the movement stimulating her entrance with the added girth at the base as the silicone touched deeper and deeper inside her. With each backward thrust the ribbing caught her throbbing clit, she had come once and she was still sensitive, this was rubbing her closer and closer.

She was panting as she felt everything begin to fall into place. She actually saw stars as she came, and she almost collapsed onto the blonde as the waves and waves of pleasure swept through her. She continued to thrust her hips riding out the feelings as she bit into the blonde's neck, marking her as her own, because she had no intention of letting this wonderful woman go.

She only rested for a moment before she magicked the toy and harness away. She wanted to lay there and bask in the afterglow but she knew she couldn't. She had a squirming and very aroused blonde below her who needed her attention.

With her thigh pressed deeply into Emma's folds she cupped a breast and ran a tongue over a straining nipple. "You are definitely a Good Girl. Didn't your parent's ever tell you that Good Girls' shouldn't play with The Queen? She will corrupt you, and I am certainly looking forward to corrupting you."

Half words fell from the blonde's lips, but they were all obviously urging the older woman on. The hips she was trying to thrust against the brunette's thigh told her all she needed to know. Regina slipped her thigh out of the way so she could enter Emma with her fingers. She then replaced her thigh and thrust hard.

"Oh God" was Emma's response as she felt 3 fingers slip into her with ease. The fast and aggressive intrusion had been welcomed as she felt the delicious friction burn all the way through her taut and straining body. Her words were ragged as she struggled to breathe, managing a rough exhale between laboured gasps, as the pressure and pleasure between her legs grew. She felt everything so fully and it was making her thigh muscles shake, delicious shivers going up and down her spine and the tight knotting feeling in her stomach growing.

"Sorry Dear, what was that? I'm The Queen."

The smirk on her lovers face accompanied the slowing of her hand between her legs.

"Please….." the blonde begged, trying to convey the wanting and needing all at the same time, trying not to whimper but failing as her hips rose trying to maintain contact with the fingers that were inside her. She was desperate, desperately trying to keep the rhythm she needed to push herself over the edge into an orgasm she had felt growing slowly since she had entered the room. And the release had suddenly become attainable once the Queen had entered her and was punishingly fingering her.

"Now, now my little Harlot, patience is a virtue." her lover responded, while smiling wickedly at her and stopping moving her fingers.

"Ugghhh!" growled the blonde in utter frustration, lost in her haze of desire and forgetting just who she was in the bedroom with. She looked up at the other woman with eyes that were dilated with lust.

The wicked grin disappeared and was replaced by a cold and stony disposition. The voice was cutting.

"Don't make me punish you, Wench. Remember your place. I would hate to have to smack that pretty pale skin and leave a red mark." The Queen sounded angry, her face had twisted and Emma feared she had stepped too far and forgotten to be submissive.

"My Queen," she was breathy, and struggling to focus on the words, "I need this, please, I'm so close…."

"I can feel that my Dirty, Little, Whore." Each word dropped like shattering icicles from The Queen's lips, before she reached forward and slapped a breast and then licked her lips. The smile returned as Emma struggled to repress a whimper.

"Now as punishment for losing your composure and your temper you can wait. You can tell me how much you want it and unless I hear what I deem acceptable you will remain unsatisfied."

She had whispered it cruelly, her face settling in a mask of indifference. Emma might not know it was a mask, but Regina knew she had punished and pushed this woman so far, a little rebellion was to be expected. She had to admit she was glad to see it, Emma was full of life and even in a situation it couldn't be completely removed from her.

Emma wanted to shiver, she was completely at the mercy of the older woman and it set shockwaves of pleasure through her every time the Queen spoke. Her voice was commanding, had an edge to it that Emma's body responded to subconsciously.

The coldness in Regina's demeanour was well practiced, she had slipped back into the role of the Queen with ease. And she found she relished the control, with it came confidence, but she also knew it was just a part of her. Regina was still there, she still cared, still wanted the woman below her to finish all over her fingers. She had gone into this concerned, but she was now very glad she had found the strength to agree to it. She was so very glad she had Emma to experience it with.

She knew exactly how to talk and touch Emma to make her beg. The fact she could feel the blonde's wetness, the heat, the hips straining, and the muscles tensing round her fingers meant the brunette knew exactly how much the Sheriff wanted it. Emma's body was close and craving release and Regina was enjoying this game, the teasing and pushing the limits between them. She also knew that come tomorrow this would be a memory, one they might revisit and recreate but that it wasn't who they were and Emma wouldn't hold any resentment about the begging or feel demeaned.

She waited, her body still until Emma spoke with a voice that strained huskily.

"Use that talented hand to fuck me My Queen" the blonde bit at her lip, trying to focus on her words rather than the sensations rippling from her centre, "Make me come hard against your fingers, I want you to be rough with me, take me, slick your thumb over my clit til I scream your name, praising your actions."

"Oh and you will My Dear, you will scream my name." Regina grinned as she dropped her thumb and swirled it where the blonde needed it most, their lips meeting in a heated kiss that was teeth and tongues and her fingers thrust into Emma harder and faster.

* * *

After that night the sex started again. It was sporadic and Emma still let Regina initiate it. Emma soon realised that Regina had decided the problem was solved and had no intention of speaking about it again. Emma, while glad they were able to enjoy each other's bodies again, thought Regina still had unresolved issues about her past and her marriage.

She knew it was hypocritical but she started looking for ideas and suggestions about therapy on Google. She knew if Henry caught her there would be a heated conversation but she felt out of her depth.

As a police officer she knew what the immediate response was to rape, you asked as many questions as you could, you maintained the scene and the chain of evidence so the poor woman had to keep her clothes, couldn't wash herself clean until she had been examined and swabbed at. All Emma knew after that was she deposited the woman with a doctor or at a hospital and they arranged care and any therapy.

Her knowledge of the rebuilding of the woman's life was pretty sketchy as her focus was on apprehending the perpetrator. Her job meant she needed to know more about the rapist, his habits and desires and if she knew about the victim it was about her past and her behaviour prior to the rape rather than her future. She knew her detective skills weren't going to help in this situation, she could never bring a dead man to justice so she was investigating in a different way. She was trying to find out what might help, what tricks she could use to get Regina to open up and face her past.

Most of Emma's research came down to trust, and she knew Regina didn't. She couldn't. It went against her upbringing and every example she had been set in life. Her Mother had let her down, so had her Father who in Emma's opinion had stood by and let her Mother hurt her. Snow had betrayed her trust and Rumple had manipulated her rather than supported her. Emma knew the brunette had history with Whale and that boiled down to a broken promise and even Henry had run away. How could Emma convince her? She had allowed the woman to paddle her around her bedroom, she had stood by her when everyone else wanted to kill her, she had cared for her and listened to her and held her safely in her arms and yet none of it seemed to change Regina's view of her. Emma knew she couldn't reverse a lifetime overnight, but she had been dependable for months and she just wished the woman could open up a little bit.

At least Henry had seen an improvement in his brunette mother and Emma was certain she was drinking less and sleeping better. It was an improvement but not a permanent fix. She resolved she would have to take some time and work harder trying to find a way to build a lasting trust between them.

Emma actually thought the answer was probably Archie, but there was no way she could bring that up. She just kept at it, her late night research and listening carefully when the brunette did mention her past. She was looking for a way in, a common topic so she could open the brunette up without it seeming invasive. But Regina being the way she was, she gave so very little away that Emma was beginning to think it might be a pointless exercise.

She sighed, she was sure she wanted more from the other woman, but a relationship needed to be built on honesty and trust. It couldn't just survive with hot sex, no matter how good it was. She was fast reaching an impasse and yet she refused to give in. She was The Saviour after all, she didn't give up or stop, it was hard wired into her nature to find a solution, apparently.

* * *

Emma found herself sitting at the table and wondering for the hundredth time why things were always so difficult. Why couldn't Regina open up to her? Why every time Emma opened her own mouth did the wrong things come out of it and royally piss off the brunette? She had left last night after a harmless comment and it had been taken the wrong way.

She had then had a flurry of text messages from their son as he had picked up on Regina's tense mood. She wanted to snap at him to stop interfering and asking questions that didn't concern him, but she knew she was just tired and frustrated and he wasn't to blame. This whole situation wasn't right and between Regina and herself Henry was stuck in the middle.

To make matters worse she was sat at the table with her Mother. And why couldn't her mother just shut up once in a while and leave Emma in peace?

The last one made Emma laugh, even she wasn't blind to the irony there. She had spent 28 years looking for a family, desperately longing for parents, and now she had them, she realised she had learn to cope on her own. At times she found them altogether too smothering and if she was being honest, slightly annoying.

Not that she didn't love them, she did. She just felt like Henry must do, stuck in the middle and being pulled in different directions. It felt like her parents failed to realise that she was 28 now and liked her own space.

Her mother jabbering about some other town fiasco Emma had zero interest in was getting easier and easier to tune out, she was learning to nod in all the right places and appear like she gave a damn. Part of Emma knew that wasn't fair to her Mother, she only cared, but she was tired and all she wanted to do was smooth things over with Regina rather than sit here and listen to town news.

A Town she didn't feel was her own, didn't feel she fitted in. She protected it as Sheriff and she had friends here, but she still struggled with the dual personalities and the archaic attitudes some of them showed. She was viewed as Princess Charming, a beacon of light and goodness. She was put on a pedestal and praised and she hated it. She hated that none of them, with the exception of Archie, seemed to understand her desire to just be Emma. Everywhere she went they wanted to talk to her, wanted a portion of her time, wanted her advice like she knew better than they did because of whom had birthed her. It was crazy and yet she was living it.

She knew there was talk about going back to the Enchanted Forest and that interested her even less, all the while there wasn't a chance of that happening Emma was ignoring the possibility, ignoring making a choice.

Emma found her thoughts drifting back to her lover. She was meant to be going round there this evening, however something Snow was saying suddenly registering.

"Whoa, hang on." The blonde was now paying attention to the words falling out of her mother's mouth, "You said I'd be there this evening? To oversee and check there isn't any trouble?"

"Yes Honey, is that a problem?"

"No." How much longer could Emma keep juggling this? Her parents wanting her to be their Princess and Emma wanting nothing else than to be a regular person who faded into the background and never stood in the spotlight.

"If you had plans Sweetie, that's ok."

How much longer could Emma keep Regina a secret? Her Mother wouldn't understand, but as Emma felt her feelings deepen for the annoying brunette woman she knew very soon she would have to make a decision. She just hoped it wouldn't destroy everyone and everything. She didn't want to hurt her parents, she was scared what Henry would think or say and then there was Regina and herself, both of whom had been hurt more than enough.

"I want you" and "I need you" weren't the same as "I love you" but people who were as damaged as Emma and Regina didn't do "I love you's". The words they had already exchanged were probably as close to uttering those forbidden 3 words as they were going to get.

In the back of Emma's troubled mind she was beginning to think that it could be love, even if they shirted round it with half-truths and spoke about it in terms of sexual desire rather than the emotional connection. Theirs wasn't a love that had grown naturally, developing and evolving into something good and true like her parents had together, but Emma was pretty sure it was still love. Just a little different and twisted, much like herself and Regina.

"Just dinner at Regina's. I'll cancel."

Snow looked at the sadness that had seeped into her daughters eyes. She didn't realise it of course, she thought she was hiding her feelings admirably, but Snow had been Emma's friend before the truth had been revealed and recognised the look. She decided to test the water, to see what Emma would tell her if guided and given the chance.

"I don't understand why she has shut herself away and doesn't come out. We don't hate her." Snow reached out a hand and placed it on Emma's arm. "You do tell her we don't hate her, don't you?"

Emma didn't know what to respond. They didn't open up and do honest conversation, they didn't talk about the town, the past, or Daniel, Snow and her Grandfather. They made idle chit chat, they talked about Henry and then they fucked. Emma wasn't even sure Regina wanted the town's forgiveness. She was pretty certain Regina didn't want any kind of relationship with Snow.

"She is just a very private person Mom, you know that much about her. She won't reach out to anyone in Town after their treatment of her."

"And what about her treatment of us Emma? We are stuck here because of her curse."

"I know. Maybe her ignoring the Town and them ignoring her is a comfortable compromise?"

"But it can't go on forever like this." Snow got straight to the heart of the problem.

"No, I guess it can't." But Emma didn't know what the answer was. Regina was going out with her and Henry slightly more, but Emma did fear if she went out on her own what might happen. She sighed and her Mother looked at her bowed head with pity.

She knew her daughter was struggling, she sensed that eventually Emma would be forced to make a decision. She desperately hoped Emma could make the decision before she was forced to, decisions made under pressure were often not the best choices.

"Your Father and I, we're here if you need any help." Snow offered and Emma looked at her, studying her seriously. She was looking for the lie, but she came away sensing nothing but the truth.

"Thanks," She offered up before changing the conversation, "Now what time this evening?"

* * *

Emma looked down at the wolf who stood blocking her access to the path to Regina's home. She quickly cast her eyes heavenward and ascertained that it was, indeed, a full moon.

"Ruby this isn't funny." Emma breathed out, quietly into the still of the night. The wolf's ears pricked up and the animal turned its head to look fully, and Emma swore reproachfully, at the blonde woman.

"I'm serious, get out of my way!" Emma bent down to look into the eyes of the furry creature.

The wolf ventured forward and nuzzled itself against the blonde's chest and Emma stroked the thick fur feeling her hand sink deeply into it.

"I know you're worried." Emma stroked behind an ear and the creature practically purred, the animalistic noise a low rumbling from its chest. "But I know what I'm doing."

She felt the animal shake its head, Ruby absolutely certain that Emma had no idea what she was doing.

Emma continued, "She just needs someone, a friend. I've got you and other people looking out for me, and I'm grateful." Again the rumbling noise, one Emma knew meant contentment. "Regina, she's got no-one. Let me be her friend."

Emma looked into the wolf's eyes and hoped her friend understood. Emma had been caught late at night, sneaking into the Ex-Mayor's mansion and she knew how it looked. And if Ruby wanted to talk to her about it in the morning, berate her for making poor choices and reprimand her for lying then Emma would take it, but there wasn't any point in having a one sided discussion tonight while Ruby was in her wolf form.

Emma sighed, Ruby felt she ought to protect her and Emma understood that. She was Snow's oldest friend and had things been as they were meant to be Red would have been like an Auntie to her growing up. But things hadn't been like that and Emma had learned to protect herself, to be independent.

Emma knew Ruby would understand that, she knew how suffocated she sometimes felt by Granny and when Red transformed into The Wolf she took the opportunity she needed to be independent and run with the full moon. Emma didn't physically transform, but she did have more than one dimension, she was more than the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. She was Emma, a fully developed adult, capable of making her own choices and mistakes and needing to the freedom to do that.

Ruby had probably assumed Emma was sneaking into the house for sex, which was in part true, but there was more than that between the two women now. Emma enjoyed seeing Regina and talking, they were friends, Emma hadn't lied to Ruby when she had said that.

* * *

Regina sat up as the early morning sun filtered into the room. She looked over at the blonde next to her, the sun making her hair glitter and her skin glow. She could just make out the faint red marks she had made late last night as she had bitten down on the woman's shoulder. She had quickly run her tongue over the marks and then sucked playfully, marking the woman in a primal fashion as hers. And Emma was, she knew there wasn't anyone else in Storybrooke, it was becoming more and more apparent as most evenings Emma would come for dinner and then stay.

But they both understood she would always have to be gone by the time Henry got up and Regina heard the toilet flush indicating he was. Emma couldn't sneak out now, so Regina took matters into her own hands, wrapping her arms round the blonde.

"Morning 'Gina." Came the sleepy response before Regina pulled the magic round both of them and suddenly a sleepy and very naked blonde was stood in her apartment. She felt her skin prick into goose bumps and her nipples harden in as the cool air hit her. She saw the brunette appraise her body as she smirkingly walked away.

"Perky this morning, aren't we Sheriff?"

"It's cold, you could have woken me a little and let me grab some clothes!"

"Henry's up, you needed to be gone."

Emma just made an undignified sound as she watched the annoying woman disappear in a cloud of purple smoke, back to her warm house and warm bed, leaving Emma shivering in nothing but her skin.

Emma wasn't impressed, but she was even less impressed as she heard a key in the door and hastily made to grab a blanket resting on the sofa to cover her nudity.

"Morning Sweetie." Her Mother breezed in and then stopped and looked at her daughter looking somewhat bedraggled with bed hair and scantily wrapped in an old blanket.

"Did I interrupt something?" Her Mother looked hard at her and Emma gulped.

"No, I just fell asleep on the sofa." Emma lied.

"Oh, I thought I heard voices." Snow looked at Emma's bare shoulder and tried not to stare at the red mark she could quite clearly see had been made by teeth.

"Just the TV, fell asleep with it on and just turned it off."

Snow shook her head, Emma wasn't making this easy. She didn't understand the secrets and lies. She knew they had been separated for many years but she wanted Emma to confide in her and be honest. And this morning was obviously a complete fabrication. Snow knew it had been Regina's voice she had heard and although part of her hated the woman, she had to admit that Emma seemed grounded, happy and settled apart from when Snow brought up Regina. Then she became flustered and defensive and Snow was getting exasperated waiting for the truth to come out.

"Did you come by to chat?" Emma changed the topic of conversation.

"No, we're out of sugar, I came by to borrow some."

"Oh, Ok, help yourself, I'm going to jump in the shower."

Emma guiltily left the room and didn't look back, she turned up the heat and let the water burn her skin, trying to wash away the bad feeling she had about blatantly lying to her mother.

* * *

That evening as Emma knocked on the door Henry was watching. He had seen his brunette mother put Emma's boots by the front door earlier and thought it odd. How or why had Emma left without her shoes?

As Regina opened the door and thrust the footwear into his blonde mother's arms he heard the heated discussion.

"It wasn't funny Regina. My Mother walked in this morning."

"I beg to differ, I have it on good authority that when it happens to other people, nudity can be very funny."

"Is this just because I laughed at you?" Emma was angry, she had taken the guilt about lying to her mother and was using it to fuel her aggression.

"No, it was a happy accident. But if your mother was horrified then all the better." Regina grinned and Emma snapped.

"Give me my boots."

"Do you want your clothes?" An arch of an eyebrow that Emma knew well, a challenge.

"Not now, this is awkward enough. Maybe you would be good enough to send them back? Then no-one else needs to be involved or see anything suspicious."

"Miss Swan you are asking me to use magic?" Regina feigned innocence and was struggling to keep the mirth out of her voice. Emma got even more annoyed.

"No, I guess not. Thank you for my boots." Emma said as she angrily turned on her odd looking foot, one covered in a reebok rather than her usual boots. She tried to stomp down the walkway but it had much less bite without a heel and in her rubber soled shoes.

Regina shut the door and leaned against it as she laughed quietly to herself. It was banter these days, not the all-out war it used to be between them. She knew Emma would calm down and by tomorrow evening she'd probably be back for dinner. She imagined Snow's face and felt fresh laughter shake her.

Henry just watched, things were weird between his mothers. Not necessarily in a bad way, he recognised the genuine smile on his mother's face and he knew Emma wasn't really angry. He had heard his grandmother's name mentioned, maybe she had an idea what was happening. He made a mental note to ask her as his brunette mother seemed to have got control of herself and walked away from the door.

Regina climbed the stairs and went to the kitchen to start on dinner for herself and Henry. Opening the fridge she looked at the contents. Before there were always vegetables, milk, fresh meat. Now there were bottles of beer for the blonde and Regina knew that the minced beef wouldn't just be used for lasagne but also hand moulded into burger patties. There were chocolate bars and cheese and things she didn't eat on the shelves.

She grabbed a few things to cook and shut the door, not thinking about how her house was being slowly infiltrated by the blonde woman. There were clothes in the bedroom, food in the refrigerator but like a woman in denial she focused on making dinner tonight and ignoring the continuing presence of the blonde in her life.


	17. New Arrivals, Sudden Departures

Welcome to chapter 17. I am going to start flirting with cannon, so I apologise if I don't go into as much detail about the parts seen on the show.

Hope you are enjoying the ride so far.

Mature again.

* * *

The bell jingled and Gold lifted his head. He masked his surprise well, now this was something new that he hadn't foreseen.

"Rumple, Dearest." The voice still affected him, it had been many years but he still remembered the feel of her lips and the taste of her skin. He was in love with Belle, he knew that, it was just Belle was so good. This woman was darkness and distress rolled together and it was alluring to The Dark One inside of him. She wasn't his equal, but she had come the closest, and part of him yearned for that connection.

"Cora. Now this is unexpected." He appraised her, her clothes were out of place in the New World, but they were made from fine fabrics, silks and velvets. They were obviously expensive if a little muddy and worn and she looked tired as if she had been on a long journey, he supposed she must have been.

"I have a gift for you, My Love."

Part of him rejoiced at the term, but there was no warmth in it. Then there never could be all the while her heart was absent from her body. There was no sarcasm either, and he knew very few people were capable of loving him or expressing any genuine affection. She meant what she said in her own stunted way and it tickled his heart.

He felt a portion of guilt eat at him for his Belle, his love who had picked him, unlike this woman. Remembering her rejection made him stand straighter and he was able to push away the feelings and become objective about the situation at hand.

"You should always be weary of people bearing gifts." He responded.

"Come now, we are old friends." Her grin was almost salacious.

"Yes, I suppose we are." His grin mirrored hers, it was an old game they slipped back into with ease. "And being old friends I know you must want something from me in exchange."

"Well I might want to make a deal, yes. I might have guessed you would never change Rumple. Always looking to make an agreement and benefit. I didn't expect anything less, which is why I have brought you this."

Cora waved her hand and in a cloud of smoke she produced a globe. It looked ordinary, a pretty little object made of glass, but from the look that crossed the Imp's face it was anything but ordinary.

"I see from your expression you recognise it. Good."

"Where did you find it, and what do you want for it?" Rumple cut to the quick of the matter.

"How I procured it is my business, however the cost is simple. I have business here, business that I need you to agree to stay out of. It is that simple, this will show you what you desire most and lead you down the path you have spent eons trying to locate."

"And the only price is I do nothing to stand in your way?" Gold confirmed, trying not to show his excitement, to appear too eager.

"Yes." Cora smiled, but her eyes remained dead, she might be pleased but she could never express that emotion. True feelings had eluded her when she had a heart, and now without one any show of feeling just gave her an unbalanced look.

Gold couldn't help but compare her to Belle, and he knew he had made a better choice. The woman he went home to every night glowed with life, her eyes danced and her face was beautiful when she smiled. Cora was statuesque, but cold, the darkness had gripped her so fully. Belle was warm and spontaneous and he loved that about her, she was the yin to his yang. Cora was more a mirror of himself and he knew there could never be trust or honesty in that kind of relationship. However entering into a deal with her, that was different. They were both dark people but they would both honour the agreement and profit from it.

He reached out and shook her hand, taking the globe from her and placing it in a lockable chest underneath the counter.

"I wish you well with your business." He called to her retreating back, as she had already spun on her heel and was leaving the dimly lit shop.

* * *

Henry was sitting with his blonde mother, she had a bear claw, he had a doughnut. Emma had coffee from the machine, he was slurping from a take-away cup full of some sugar laden bright coloured goo that Emma hoped Regina wouldn't find out she had paid for. The doughnut for breakfast was bad enough.

He was prolonging going to school and using the time to try and probe what was happening between his two mothers.

Emma kept dodging the questions, but it was hard. She wanted a distraction but could have groaned out loud when she heard it coming down the corridor.

She heard the tapping of the cane in the hallway of the Sheriff's Station and sighed. She didn't need a visit from Gold today. Well, not any day really, she still thought he was a horrible human being and didn't think that would ever change.

"Henry sit quietly over there." She nodded to a tucked away corner.

"Why?"

"Because I don't trust or like Mr. Gold and don't want you anywhere near him."

Henry looked perplexed but did as he was asked. He wasn't hidden well but as Gold only had his focus on one thing he failed to notice Henry.

"Good Morning Sheriff." He greeted her.

She stood and watched him as he leaned on his cane.

"I have come to collect the favour you owe."

Emma had always known the day would come, but she wasn't happy about it. She stayed quiet and allowed him to talk.

"I need your skills and a guide to take me to New York, I need you to track someone down for me. We leave tomorrow."

"Wonderful." The blonde muttered.

However it was to the retreating form of the devious Imp as he had said what he needed to and was already leaving to make his own plans.

Once Gold had got far enough down the corridor Henry looked at his blonde mother. "You made a deal with him?"

"Yes."

"But if you don't like or trust him, why would you?"

"It's complicated, but it was the right thing to do at the time." Emma wanted another bear claw, this day was getting worse by the minute and it had started so well.

"And now you're going to New York with him, alone?"

"There isn't any choice Henry."

"Yes there is, let me come." His childlike way of seeing things saw a simple solution.

"What part of I don't want you anywhere near him didn't you understand?" Emma cut him down.

"Well maybe I don't want him near you either." Henry piped up. "How is it ok for you to be near him and not me?"

"I'm an adult Henry, I can look after myself."

"You're not very good at that." He quirked an eyebrow, daring her to refute it in a move that was so much like his brunette mother. "And you made a deal with him before, left alone with him you might make another one."

"I'm not going to do that. Now isn't it time for school?" Emma tried hard to deflect her son's attention from the topic at hand.

"You didn't even ask how you were getting there or who you were looking for." Henry continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Or why he called in the favour now. What has changed?" Henry became suspicious. "The book says he is dangerous and plans everything so he can personally gain from it."

"I thought you were leaving the book alone, that you realised that there were two sides to all of those stories."

"There is still truth in the book Emma. You need to be careful and have someone watching your back. I can do that. You can't ask Mary Margaret or Gramps as they can't leave town. Gold wouldn't agree to Mom coming. That leaves me. At least I'd be good company."

"I don't think your Mother would agree to it." Henry saw Emma give in a little and knew if he kept pushing and wearing her down Emma would give in to him. He pouted and looked at her from under his shaggy fringe with his big brown eyes.

"She would if you explained to her. She is better around you, more comfortable, happy and settled. She is relaxed and talks, even smiles more. Why is that?"

"We are just friends, Kid. Nothing more than that. And the answer is still no, I don't know how long we'll be away and you don't want to leave Storybrooke do you?"

"Yeah actually I'd love to see New York."

"It isn't a sight-seeing trip and what about your Mom? She'll be left lonely without both of us here."

"Grandma will look after her, I was talking with her this morning and we were saying how much Mom has changed."

Emma looked at her son, was it really an innocent conversation that had taken place that morning? She was immediately suspicious with the sweet look Henry plastered on his face.

"Why were you talking about Regina?" She asked.

"She's my Mom." Henry looked at her like she was mentally disturbed, Emma supposed her paranoia was making her a little crazy. He was allowed to talk about his mother, he did spend a large amount of his time with her. His next remark didn't calm Emma though.

"And Grandma always asks about her."

"Oh I bet she does." She was beginning to think there was a mission in place that she didn't know about. "What does she ask about?"

Henry sensed his blonde mother was worried, something had thrown her and she was distracted. "She asks what we do together, where we go out, what time you leave. She is just interested, she likes to know that you are eating properly and that you and Mom are happy and getting on."

Emma nodded. Yes her mother was digging, she might be interested and playing the concerned parent but Emma thought there was more going on here. Unfortunately she was leaving town and now wasn't the time to confront her mother, she had things to organise, packing to do and the conversation would have to wait until she returned because she didn't want to rush it or make accusations and then seem to be running away.

"So can I come?" Henry asked.

"I'll ask Gold." Emma dodged the question, not really expecting the older man to agree.

Henry smiled at her and grabbed his backpack, waving a goodbye as he left for school.

* * *

Henry had been right, Emma ought to know more about the trip.

With her questions at the forefront of her mind she grabbed her jacket and rushed front he station. With youth on her side and a limp hindering Gold she was fast than him and she caught up with him just as he reached his shop. She lingered in the doorway as he entered the shop and took up his position behind his counter, leaning forward to study the blonde.

"How are you leaving Storybrooke?" She looked at him and he was unable to supress his smugness.

"I have found a way."

Emma looked at him, "I imagine it is not something you are going to share with the other inhabitants of Storybrooke?"

"You imagine correctly, however you are able to come and go freely as you were never part of the curse."

"Oh I think I was a big part of the curse." Emma pointedly locked eyes with him and he grudgingly nodded. Emma felt unease touch her and her lie detector was humming to life. "This is what you have been waiting for isn't it? This is why you cast the curse, you wanted something, or rather someone in this world."

"I didn't cast the curse Sheriff, your lover managed that all on her own."

"That is crap and you know it. You manipulated her, and she was so blinded by her loss and anger she couldn't see it until later when it was too late. And now she is hated for it by the whole town and you walk around freely. I will do this for you, because I honour my word, but after this we are done. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

Emma wanted to walk away, she had had enough after just 5 minutes of talking to him and it didn't bode well for their trip together. She might have to leave her gun at home, keep temptation out of reach because she found her patience just evaporated when she was around him. He was slimy and wouldn't take responsibility for his actions, he had moulded many people, moved them like chess pieces around in his twisted game not caring about their future unless it directly affected his own.

In Emma's view he was responsible for hurting both herself and Regina. Emma blamed Regina for casting the curse, she blamed her parents for putting her in a wardrobe and she most certainly blamed the Imp for creating the whole messed up situation.

Deep down she knew blame didn't help, but she found it easier to be around Regina because she admitted her guilt, she knew what she had done and could see the effect it had on everyone. She was suffering daily with the consequences, she was shunned and lived a closed off life, trying desperately not to allow fear and unhappiness to beat her down.

Emma compared that to her parents, who much like Rumpelstiltskin were trying to shift responsibility and defend their actions by demonstrating the end result had worked out for the best. Except in Emma's opinion that had made her collateral damage, she had paid the price for their actions. It had led to her suffering for 28 years and then she had come to Storybrooke and suffered some more. And at the root of all of it were the Imps plans, his grand design to get to this point. She hated him.

But she needed to put her personal feelings to one side, this was a job like countless others she had done. She needed to put to one side that this man had played game after game with her lover and twisted her. Even if Emma hadn't been attached to the brunette, even if she was only co-parenting Henry with her, she was certain that after learning the truth about the curse she didn't think she could so easily take sides and blame Regina like everyone else in town did. She pushed the troubling thoughts aside, she needed to do this and then it would be over and she would never have to cross paths with the odious man again.

Unfortunately for Emma right now she needed to ask more questions, when all she wanted was to go out in the fresh air and try and cleanse the deeply uncomfortable feeling talking to the man left her with. She took a breath to steady herself.

"How are we getting to New York?"

"Who are you inviting to make we?" Gold was quick to pick up on Emma's phrasing.

"It's my time with Henry, we wants to come with me. I said I'd ask."

"Oh fine, but you had both better be ready at 9am sharp, I'm going to book the flights now." And he exasperatedly moved his hands in a shooing gesture indicating he thought they were done.

Emma stood still, she hadn't expected him to say yes. What she didn't know was that Rumpelstiltskin had been told many years ago by a seer that a young boy would lead him to his son. He had never forgotten her words, but had thought that Henry helping to break the curse was what she had meant. When this opportunity came to him, to take the boy to New York, he decided to take it wondering if Henry might be more instrumental in finding Baelfire than he had first thought.

Emma turned in the doorway, she would leave but she wanted to know one more thing. "Who are we looking for?"

"My son. I lost him long ago. His name is Baelfire."

"How do you know he is in New York?"

"Magic Dearie. Magic."

"So if you have magic, why do you need me?"

"Because once we leave the town, all magic disappears. Then it is down to detective work and knowing the world outside."

"Ok, I get it, find your son, happy reunion, and come back here. You don't know where in New York do you?"

Gold looked down and under the counter. "This is what I have." He held up the globe and Emma saw the red dot that indicated what Gold assumed marked the location of Baelfire. Emma had her reservations in putting her faith in a mystery and magic globe, but if Gold was paying for the flights she would give this a go. She walked closer to look and see if there was any detail on the globe to help her.

"Oh great." She looked and wished she hadn't.

"Problem Sheriff?" Gold shifted his weight and eyed her.

"Only that the dot is in Manhattan, the most densely populated part of New York." Emma might be good but she wasn't a miracle worker, this was going to be tough.

"9am tomorrow Sheriff, remember your deal."

"Fine." Emma walked out of the shop and into the sunlight, but it did little to warm her.

She waited until she was back at the station before she rested her head against the wall, thinking that today just kept getting worse. Not only did she have a trip with Gold to navigate, she had to tell her parents she was leaving town for a few days, and tell Regina she was leaving with Henry. Knowing her previous track record she knew there were going to be questions and she would be forced into promising that she would be coming back.

"Damn." She banged her head and blew out a frustrated breath between her pale lips. She just hoped the trip would be quick and easy and she could be back here within a few days. She was good at finding people, even the ones that tried to hide and didn't want to be found. She was sure with her computer skills, her lie detecting ability and her bail bonds training Baelfire would be just the same. Well she hoped so.

* * *

"Regina, can I come in?"

"Miss Swan, I wasn't expecting you."

"Something came up, I need to discuss it with you."

"I get the feeling I'm not going to like this discussion, Miss Swan."

"If it helps, I don't much like it either."

"It doesn't."

"Didn't think it would." Emma smiled at her and Regina felt just a little calmer.

"Coffee Miss Swan?"

"No, but help yourself."

They sat at the kitchen island as the kettle boiled.

Regina watched Emma, she was fidgeting and nervous and Regina didn't like that in the blonde. It meant she was going to say something she wouldn't like. She stood up to make her coffee and wasn't surprised that Emma took the opportunity to open her mouth.

Emma just came out with it, she knew waiting wouldn't help, it wouldn't change how badly the brunette was going to take the news but not looking at her face, a face she knew would crumple just a little before the mask slipped into place, was easier. She was a coward and she kicked herself for it, but at least this time she was leaving and she was telling people. The last time she just ran.

"Gold called in a favour I owe him. I'm accompanying him to New York to find someone."

Regina stood very still, she stopped stirring the coffee and looked out the window, focusing on nothing in particular.

Emma continued, "I hope it'll only be a few days, probably 3 and I'll be taking Henry."

Silence.

She watched Regina, her back was straight and her shoulders set.

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning." Emma was filling the silence with words, babbling.

"It'll do Henry good to see a different city, a change of scenery. He'd never forgive me if he found out I went to New York and he didn't get invited."

The monotone voice that replied hurt Emma. It was like the person speaking was tired, defeated and just awaiting the killing blow. "Why take him? Can't he stay with me?"

"Regina, this isn't ideal. Henry asked to come, he thinks I need protecting from Gold's devious nature and Gold agreed to let him come."

Emma new the words would hurt Regina, that Henry didn't want to stay with her, yet again he had picked his blonde mother. That wasn't quite how Henry saw it, he thought Emma needed him more than Regina did, but that was because they had sheltered Henry from quite how badly broken his brunette mother was. Had he known Emma doubted he would have left her alone.

"How has Gold managed this, I thought we were all trapped?"

"He has found a way, but he isn't sharing that knowledge. As far as he is concerned everyone else is trapped. He is just special." Emma let the bitterness she felt about the man seep into her tone. She hoped Regina knew she wasn't taking his side, this was business, a debt to be settled.

"I'm glad you aren't fooled by him Miss Swan. He is dangerous. I'd rather Henry wasn't around him."

"Just Henry?" Emma queried. She shouldn't be pushing but she was going away and she wanted to know she would be missed, that this wasn't a one sided infatuation.

"You are an adult Miss Swan, you have shown you can take care of yourself for many years now. Henry is still a child, don't let Gold corrupt him." Emma noticed Regina didn't actually answer her question.

"You aren't angry like I expected."

Regina turned round and Emma saw she had been struggling but now had the mask in place, everything calm except her eyes. She said, "I believe you are planning on coming back?"

"Of course." The blonde replied.

"You have made the decision, I can't say anything to change that."

"I thought you might miss us."

"Of course I'll miss you both." Regina was exasperated. "What would you like me to do, throw things and scream?"

"Some reaction might be nice." Emma realised the irony. She hated angry Regina, the unreasonable way she behaved and the fact she struggled to read her and know what to say for the best. And now she was upset because the brunette was too calm and not angry.

"Emma if I react you won't like it. I have been spoilt the last few months by your company and I will definitely miss you both. I hate the thought of either of you spending time with that man and of Henry being so far away from me. But you have promised you are coming back and I believe you."

Emma was still shocked that the brunette was calm and rationalising the decision. It was like the Mayor was back in the room discussing a new town ordinance. Regina's wall had closed round her and Emma felt pushed out.

"Well I have to go home to pack some things." The blonde stood and wondered whether to hug the older woman. She decided against it. It was probably Regina's wall that had slammed into place, but Emma suddenly felt that physical contact wouldn't be welcome.

She stood in the doorway and kind of waved goodbye before realising that looked silly. "Regina?"

The brunette looked up at her. She found her mouth was dry. Regina waited a beat for her to continue and when she didn't she jumped into the quiet.

"Goodbye Miss Swan, the sooner you leave the sooner you will come back."

And Emma felt she had been dismissed. Thoroughly and completely. She nodded and turned away, thinking this should have been so very different. It could have been a time for them to unveil their feelings for each other, she thought that at the very least the brunette would have been more upset.

She got as far as the door when she heard the sound of something shatter against the kitchen floor. She opened the door and shut it again, letting the woman think she had left the house. Stealthily she turned back and climbed the stairs quietly and softly. As she neared the kitchen doorway she saw Regina bent over and picking up the broken coffee cup. She slipped with a piece and it cut her finger, not badly but enough to finally trigger a response. She dropped the broken crockery and sunk to the floor, her head in her hands. Emma stood for a moment watching as she fisted her hands and pounded them into the tiled flooring.

As Emma shifted Regina suddenly realised she wasn't alone and whipped her head up. Emma saw the tears shining in her eyes and the gravely tone of her voice as she said, "You were meant to have left."

"Yeah, I didn't so sue me."

"I really think you need to go Miss Swan."

"Why, so you can scream and throw things in private?"

"I dropped the cup, it was an accident." She didn't add that her hands had been shaking terribly and it had slipped because she couldn't see the counter top through her tears. And it was all so stupid. She wasn't being abandoned, she had always been alone, so why was she reacting so badly to this news? It implied she had feelings for the blonde woman, which was ridiculous in itself. The tears were for Henry, she would miss him even if it was for just a few days. And the fact the decision had been made without consultation and she felt like an afterthought in the process. She thought they were sharing responsibility in this and felt let down. And that was all. Tears were an extreme reaction but she hadn't let them fall.

"Then I'll help you clear it up." Emma offered and took a step forward.

The look she received was enough to halt her progress, the icy bite in the words pushed her back to her safe distance against the doorframe.

"No you won't. Just. Go."

This was familiar to Emma, a brunette that was skating round the edge of her control and pushing her away. Emma stood her ground. They locked eyes across the kitchen.

The brunette felt the tears threaten to fall but she refused to allow that. She tapped into the anger and glared at the other woman. She felt at a disadvantage, being on the floor when she ought to at least be standing so they were on a more even level. She hated being looked down on but couldn't get up without looking ungraceful and she refused to break eye contact.

"You're still here." She hissed.

Emma watched her eyes, they were smouldering, the anger almost ready to boil over.

"Regina you need to breathe and calm down." Emma knew that was likely to back fire, telling Regina how to behave was a no no. Still she said it and wasn't surprised when the older woman flared up.

With a voice rising in volume and touched with incredulity the brunette replied, "You are taking the only 2 things of any value from my life, and you want me to calm down?"

Part of Emma rejoiced at that, she was certain the brunette hadn't meant to admit she was valued, but it had slipped out. Regina hardly seemed to notice, she was battling with her mask, trying to make sure the tears remained unshed.

Emma responded as calmly as she could, despite her heart quickening at Regina's outburst.

"It's only for a few days. You know it would be more dangerous to refuse Gold's offer and would just cause a problem to deal with later. And yes, I want Henry to come with me. I'm being selfish but in Gold's sole company I'm scared I might snap."

"He is only a small boy and won't be of any help to you. And he is innocent and believes the best in people. New York is such a big city." There was a petulant echo in Regina's statement, she stopped short of stamping her foot but Emma saw a woman who wasn't getting her way and a hint at the child beneath it all that wanted to throw a tantrum. She was obviously fully grown and sophisticated enough not to do that, but she was getting stroppy just the same.

"Regina he'll be fine. He is growing up, you can't hold his hand forever. And he isn't so innocent, he stole Mary Margaret's credit card and caught a Greyhound to find me. I think it will do him good to get out of Storybrooke, he can see the real world and might realise that this claustrophobic and frankly peculiar little piece of town life isn't normal."

"And what if when he realises it isn't normal here and that he likes New York better he doesn't want to come back? You're not exactly enjoying living here either, it might be just enough to persuade you both to settle down well away from this _peculiar_ life."

"Henry would never do that, he loves you and knows how much he has already hurt you. He'll always come back. And I, well I have reasons to come back too." Emma looked at the brunette, this was another one of those instances where they stopped short of saying anything with any meaning. They just hinted at and continue to dance around the fact they were important to one another.

"I promise to look after him and I'll bring him back. Just trust me here." The blonde knew it was a big ask but she felt she deserved to be trusted with her own son after the last few months, even Regina had to admit she had stepped up and become much more of a mother figure to him.

"I do, I trust you with Henry." Emma watched Regina swallow and a shadow of something flitted across her features. It could have been doubt, it might have been fear but it was gone before Emma really saw it.

Emma wondered if the doubt was for what she had just said, but she didn't think so. Her ability to sense lies was dormant, she felt Regina was telling her the truth as best she could. So she stayed silent and waited for the older woman to speak. Regina's voice was quiet when she had ordered her thoughts and opened her mouth to communicate them.

"You do know I think the only thing keeping the town at bay is your continued presence. I..." Regina hesitated, she was about to say something revealing and be far more honest than she was usually, "I worry that without you here they might come after me again."

"Over my Mother's dead body." Emma smiled at the brunette. "She knows both Henry and I would never forgive her if anything happened to you. And I believe she knows you are changing and slowly that information is circulating round town. You could say she is becoming a convert to Team Regina."

Emma nearly laughed at the look of sheer horror on the brunette's face.

"Don't worry, she isn't going to be dropping round for tea and cake."

"Thank goodness for small mercies."

"But she will be there if you need someone, so will Ruby. My friends are your friends."

"Miss Swan I think friend is a stretch too far."

"Well whatever they are to you, they aren't your enemies. You'll have their support if you did need it. Not that you will." Emma smiled reassuringly at her lover. "Nothing will happen, you can catch up some reading or TV while we're away."

"Like I don't have enough spare time already." The brunette sighed.

"We'll be back before you know it. And I expect a welcome home lasagne cooked for me." Emma winked at the other woman who scowled at her but knew she'd cook anything the blonde wanted. Her treacherous heart wanted to please the blonde and take care of her. Damn the beating organ, it was getting out of control and causing her to behave erratically.

Emma reached out a hand and Regina placed hers inside the blonde's firm grip. Emma tugged and took Regina's weight as she helped the other woman to her feet. They stood facing each other and Emma felt the sadness that was filling Regina. She was masking it but Emma knew even a few days would be hard as Regina was lonely and didn't leave the house.

She had held onto her hand and it felt right to lift it to her mouth to brush her lips against the knuckles. The blonde noticed the cut finger and the blood beginning to clot and took it and placed it in her mouth.

"Emma don't."

Regina's voice was quiet in the kitchen but she made no move to pull her hand away and Emma placed a kiss on the damaged digit as she released it from her mouth.

Emma cupped the olive skin of her face and ran her thumb across a cheek, watching the eyes that never left her own. The kiss that followed wasn't like they were usually, it didn't burn with sexual tension and unresolved fight. It wasn't a duel or a battle, it was surrender. It was soft and simpering, setting them both alight with a slow burning flame, not the all-consuming fire they usually fought to contain.

Emma pushed Regina back so her back was resting against the island. She asked with her eyes if it was ok to continue as they never broke eye contact. The blonde undid the button on Regina's pants and then the zipper as she gently pushed the fabric down the toned thigh muscles, taking the panties with it. She unhooked the brunette's legs from the fabric as it bunched on the floor and then so slowly she stood back up, running her hands up the silky skin, her eyes still not leaving the chocolate orbs above her.

She quickly lifted Regina's weight and set her on the marble surface as she spread the woman's legs and knelt between the brunette's thighs. It was with reverence that the blonde placed a kiss against the inside thigh and tenderly worked her way upwards.

Emma knew this was going to be different between them, it was sealing a promise, one to look after and love their son and to come back to the woman resting above her. She wasn't going to hurry this.

She was careful as she poked her tongue out and traced the woman's lips before using her hand to spread them open and dragged her tongue leisurely from her centre to her clit.

She listened to the brunette above her sigh and collapse heavily back onto the counter top. She was giving into this, to letting Emma set the pace for this.

"God you taste so good." Emma swiped her tongue back over the area and then teasingly poked the woman's clit with her tongue, moving it from side to side.

Emma was lost in the scent of Regina, the tangy taste and the heavy breathing all conflicting with her desire to take it slow. The woman was excited under her touch and she had to remember she was going to build this up gradually. Emma blew a huff of hot air onto the bundle of nerves and then sat back a little.

She ran her hands up from the perfect calf muscles up past the sensitive skin at the back of her knee. She caressed Regina's thighs with a feather light touch and listened as the woman moaned seductively at the gentle pressure.

She sucked on her middle finger and then slowly inserted it into the woman who drew in a breath. There was never enough pressure to do much more than tease her and Emma leisurely sawed her finger back and forward, stroking the inner walls and enjoying making the woman buck into her hand.

"Do you want another finger or would you rather I used my tongue?" Emma leaned over and kissed the woman, just softly, a brush of lips and then used her free hand to unbutton the blouse and cup a breast. She was kissing her neck and sucking against her pulse point as Regina made a growling noise of deep appreciation.

"You decide Miss Swan." And Emma didn't mind the Miss Swan title now. It came out breathy and wasn't being used as a distancing tactic. It wasn't cold and unfeeling and Emma found she quite liked the way it sounded falling from the brunette's sexy and full lips.

"My Queen, your skin is so soft, you truly are beautiful." Emma used her teeth to scrap against said skin and then moved to take the nipple in her mouth. She never stopped fingering her, and as she felt the brunette become wetter she slipped a second finger in.

Regina inhaled sharply at the added stimuli and purred as Emma's tongue snaked out and circled her hard bud.

Emma slowly increased the speed she was fingering her lover, occasionally removing her soaked digits to slick them over the woman's throbbing clit and listening to the brunette as she mewled, groaned and huskily said, "Yes, just there Miss Swan."

Emma kissed her way down the woman's stomach, circling the woman's navel and dropping her mouth onto her sex with vigour. She knew her lover was incredibly aroused, she was savouring the smell of sex and loved it when she was able to lap at the juices that had escaped her.

She scraped her teeth over the bundle of nerves and then soothed it with her tongue, making love to Regina's pussy with the two fingers and her tongue, slipping a third into the woman as Regina began to buck into her face and try to arch her body further into her touch.

Emma felt the tightening round her fingers, felt the woman getting closer and loving it. She moved her tongue faster, lapping at the most sensitive part of the older woman and knowing she was close to her peak by the moans and then the expletive that fell from her lips.

"Fuck." And it was so hot to hear Regina say it, strained as it was. It was the most expressive Emma had ever heard her, and she used her other arm that wasn't piston thrusting into the clenching and hot pussy to hold the woman down against the counter while she thoroughly ravished her with her tongue.

In response to having her movement restricted the older woman dropped her hand to the blonde curls bobbing between her thighs and held her down, pushing her further into the swollen lips so her tongue was forced closer, rubbing back and forth against the sensitive flesh.

Knowing the brunette was balanced on a knife edge the blonde curled her fingers to massage the inner wall and push the woman over the brink.

"Emma, uh, yes Emma, uuhhhh." And Regina felt her body quake, felt her toes curl and the shuddering radiate from her core into the furthest extremities of her body. Emma grinned a self-satisfied smile.

As Regina lay on the cold counter top and her breathing returned to normal she stroked Emma's hair. The blonde had held her while she peaked, held her hips down despite her attempts to thrash and kept slipping her fingers inside her so she felt the whole orgasm until it tapered off with a whimper escaping her lips at the way she felt completely spent.

Emma had then laid her head on her stomach while she calmed, her heartbeat finally felt close to normal and she didn't feel she'd fall over if she tried to stand.

She coaxed the blonde off her stomach and touched her face, the skin soft as she ran a finger down from her hairline to her chin. She watched the eyes, ones that were looking at her with adoration and they shared another slow kiss. Regina knew her own eyes were glistening with unshed tears and as she closed her eyes and let just a few fall and she felt Emma lift her hand and brush them away.

She raised a hand to touch Emma through her shirt, to encase a nipple with fingers that weren't urgent or greedy but rather slowly tempting and teasing. She wanted to praise the perfect peak with a delicate touch and she looked up sharply as the blonde took a step back.

Regina thought it was a rejection which she didn't understand at all. Emma loved sex, and her nipples had been hard, she had felt Emma's moan when she had come against her mouth and knew the woman was aroused.

Emma wasn't rejecting her, but she was aware that they were in Regina's kitchen and she still had a lot of things to organise before the morning. She was also still very unsure, she hadn't wanted this kind of situation to develop now, it wasn't the right time or place.

If this was what she thought it was and they were finally being honest and admitting they wanted to try to be together she wanted to take her time. She wanted to make time to talk and then spend hours in the woman's bed with her, pleasing her over and over, praising her body and wrapping her up in warmth and affection.

Emma had been caught up in the moment, her feelings and the emotions between them strong and she didn't regret a minute of it but she also didn't want to rush either the conversation or the physical response she felt growing between them.

They both deserved better than a quickie up against a kitchen surface before Emma ran away to another city for what could be up to a few weeks. Needing to convey something to the other woman Emma quickly covered the brunette's hand with her own and squeezed it. She whispered, "You were amazing but I need to go, I've to pack."

The brunette quirked an eyebrow at that saying, "Don't you want me to return the favour Miss Swan?" The remark dripped with sexuality and Emma moved back into her space and kissed her long and deeply.

"More than anything." She tucked brunette locks behind and ear and she hummed into her ear. She said slightly breathlessly, "But I'd rather go away knowing I was on a promise for when I come home. It will give me something to look forward to and keep me focused to get the job done."

Regina noticed that Emma had used the word home. Maybe the blonde hadn't realised, but she never referred to the apartment as home, or the town. But if Regina was reading the situation right and the subconscious message Emma was sending meant she was rolling Regina up in the description, saying she felt there was a place she belonged and it was with her. Home was somewhere Regina had struggled with too, but she had to admit, if she had Henry it would always be home.

And if Emma joined them she wouldn't be adverse to the idea. In fact it might help heal her still delicate heart, someone to talk with and who obviously cared. Cared enough to come back and reassure her, to hold her, to allow her to cry on her shoulder and brush away her tears and to please her without wanting anything in return.

It didn't feel quite right but she let Emma pull away. She still felt that she didn't get to feel good without some kind of payment, but Emma didn't look at her with eyes that accused her of failing or any hint of disgust. She looked at her like she was the most important thing in the world and her heart jumped in her chest. It was like someone had fired a huge voltage through her, she felt more alive than she had for years, since before, well since Daniel. She smiled back at Emma's dopey grin, a smile that was shy and lacked the menace or the mask she was known for. Emma leant back in and as their tongues stroked one another and Emma's arms wrapped round her she felt hope flutter inside her. It took her a minute to realise what it was, she was focused on the kiss and it was such an alien feeling she had to pause to identify it.

As they broke the kiss she rested her lips against the blonde's warm skin at her neck. She peppered kisses there before Emma reluctantly disengaged herself from the embrace they were sharing.

"I'll send Henry over to say goodbye."

"Thank you."

"You'd better get down and get dressed before then." Emma smirked at the older woman as she took in the naked legs and licked her lips. The brunette just glared.

"You aren't as funny as you think you are Miss Swan."

"But you love me anyway."

Emma's face fell as she realised what she had said, what it implied between them and Regina might have laughed had she not been frantically thinking how to save the situation.

Regina thought for a split second. She could laugh it off but she didn't want to push the woman away with her dark humour that some people saw as cruelty. She went with what her heart was telling her, "Yes" she whispered so quietly that Emma had to strain to hear her, "I do."

She responded quickly before Emma could run. It was more than both of them wanted to say but the intimacy they had just shared had been so telling and she knew it was the truth. She could tell from Emma's face she believed her, it was part brilliant smile and part absolute terror. Regina sensed the conflict inside the younger woman as she battled with the desire to just bolt from the room.

She hopped from the counter and walked as regally as she could without her pants on up to the woman. Emma was breathing very shallowly and her eyes looked like an animal caught in headlights and when Regina placed her hand on her shoulder she swallowed.

"Emma, don't run. Please. That was hard for me." The intensity of the brown eyes boring into hers was frightening and Emma fought the urge to look away.

The blonde knew that to be true, she had forced the Ex-Mayor into a confession. She was left with a choice, she admitted her feelings or she walked away and left it unsaid. She shouldn't be struggling like this, it wasn't fair to Regina who had been so brave.

"I know. And I feel the same way." Emma's heart was hammering in her chest, she didn't do falling in love, and she didn't do feelings and emotions, it lead to getting hurt. And she definitely didn't do whispered confessions giving the other person all the ammunition to rip your heart out when they grew tired of you and had enough of you hanging around.

"But you still need to go to New York."

"I do." Emma felt panic bubbling inside her, they were on the precipice of something here and she had to go away. She knew she wanted to stay and she was torn. Maybe space and distance was a good thing, she had always used it in the past. But she didn't feel comfortable leaving now, she wanted to immerse herself in this and see where it took them both.

"So where do we go from here?" Regina seemed to be handling the situation much better than Emma, she appeared calm and Emma saw hints of The Queen and The Mayor who could make good decisions under pressure and asked the important questions without becoming flustered. Emma admired her so much, she was so strong and she didn't realise how much Emma needed that strength and calm right now. Without it she probably would have bolted, feeling sick to her stomach after her admission.

Emma could only respond with honesty, "I don't know. I wish I did. Wait for me?"

"Yes." Regina rested her head on the blonde's shoulder who ran her hands through the brunette's silky hair and inhaled the perfume of the woman. They both wished they could stay like this forever, but they knew life got in the way and after several minutes and another few tender kisses Emma found herself on the sidewalk hoping she knew what she was doing. And if she didn't then she hoped Regina did. She had put herself and her heart in the older woman's hands and tried to concentrate on anything else as she walked away. Images of The Queen crushing her heart to dust weren't helpful.


	18. Strange Alliances

Credit to Diane Warren for the words and the group Heart for the song choice in this chapter.

Chapter 18, hope you enjoy.

Any reviews gratefully received - thank you to all the followers.

* * *

As Emma put the car into drive and went to pull away from the curb the song on the radio changed. She had instinctively turned it down when Henry and Gold had got in, but she had kept the old rock station on for background noise.

She doubted Gold would make much conversation but she was sure with Henry with them it wouldn't be too strained. Blaring the music at full blast would have been rude, even if she did hate the man she had been raised with some manners.

Ann Wilson's voice rang out, Hearts need you now resonating both in the confined space of the car and deeply inside of Emma.

"Baby, I never gave my heart to anyone, oh no  
Used to think that love was a game  
I used to make it just for fun  
When we spent the night together  
Didn't mean it meant that much  
Now I just can't live without your touch"

She listened to the words as she drove down Main Street and suddenly pulled the car over. Henry looked quizzically over at her but she just shook her head at him not to ask.

Gold made a dissatisfied noise from the back seat and she smiled apologetically at him as she got up and walked across the sidewalk.

The last verse had really hit her,

"I can't get no sleep  
'Coz I keep thinking of you all through the  
night, oh yeah  
My eyes can't wait to see you again  
My arms can't wait to hold you tight oh yeah  
And when you're laying here beside me  
There is nothing else I need  
Never thought that this could ever be

I didn't wanna to need you, oh no  
I didn't wanna want you like I do  
I didn't mean to fall  
Didn't wanna care at all  
I didn't wanna need you  
Like I need you now"

It comprehensively summed up her relationship with Regina, she had entered into this as a game, it was sex, fun, a thrill. But now, the words had rocked her to her core, she needed Regina.

She wanted her in her life, not just as a friend, not just as a co-parent for Henry. Regina was a pain, Regina was complicated, Regina drove her up the wall, but Emma felt safe and comfortable with her. Emma felt wanted in return and she knew the passion between them wasn't something that would ever die. It might cause arguments, it might cause friction, but Emma felt certain with the last few months behind them as a starting point they could work through any issues and she really hoped they had a long term future.

She didn't feel abandoned and alone for the first time in many years. She knew it was stupid, because she had Henry and her Parents, but Regina was the only one she felt an equal with and who hadn't placed expectations on her. The brunette woman didn't view her as Mother, Daughter, Saviour. She only wanted a lover and Emma knew she could do that and wouldn't let the brunette down.

She had a spring in her step as she headed to Game Of Thorns. It was a whim, but it felt right. She had the bouquet made up and put the words on the card before she changed her mind.

"We'll both miss you but will be back soon."

It was simple, short and to the point and could be explained away easily as friendship if Regina had reconsidered things. Emma thought that unlikely, they had held tightly onto each other in the kitchen, finally Regina's wall had come down and Emma hadn't run from the raw emotion and intensity. It only illustrated they were better together and she was certain the brunette knew it. So she paid for the flowers to be delivered tomorrow morning and smiling left the shop.

* * *

As Emma drove out of Storybrooke, Regina sat in the morning sunshine of her back yard. She would miss Henry and Emma, and having told the blonde as much last night the goodbye kiss had been passionate and full of promise and longing.

She touched her fingertips to her lips, an unspoken truth had been sealed in the kiss, that they both cared more than they were prepared for. Regina knew this was madness, she didn't deserve to be loved, and in her past love had never ended well, so why was she even contemplating this? But her heart felt fuller, she felt happiness singing through her veins. The way Emma had looked at her, like she was precious and she was worth it, that look had melted her walls of ice and she felt alive. The process Henry had started 11 years ago was being continued by his mother as she slowly learned to feel and live a life that wasn't dictated by fear.

She didn't know at what point it had gone from meaningless sex to meaningful relationship, but it had. Emma was her friend and confident and so much more than a casual lover. And Regina knew she wasn't the only one feeling like that. Emma's touches and kisses had become tender and gentle and intimacies were shared more and more frequently when they were in bed together. What had once been hot, hard and aggressive now had the added elements of discussion, desire and depth that the initial sex had lacked.

When Emma stayed the night, as was more and more common, Regina enjoyed listening to the blonde's slow and steady breathing before she woke. She enjoyed the way Emma would possessively tighten her arm round her waist when she woke and tried to leave the bed to use the bathroom.

Lost in thoughts of whether this could continue for the long term, Regina didn't notice the figure standing at her fence studying her. When the voice cut through the still of the day Regina felt all the warmth leave her skin.

"Regina Darling, you look well."

Her head shot up, at first convinced she had drifted off in the warm sunshine and this was another nightmare. But one look into eyes she remembered so well from her childhood had her convinced it wasn't a dream.

Fear settled on her skin making it instantly cool and the hairs stand up on end. Then coldness travelled through her body and wound round all of her, suffocatingly tight and clamping round her lungs so she had to remember to force them to breath.

This was something Regina had always dreaded, coming face to face with her Mother. Had she been strong then she would have killed her, but Regina had always been weak. It was one thing her Mother had been right about. Love was weakness, and Regina's love for her Mother had been her ultimate weakness. She hadn't been able to kill the woman and now she had to deal with the consequences of that.

Regina was terrified of what her mother might do, she knew the calm exterior and cool tone to her voice was all a front, carefully concealing all the anger and violence that rippled through her soul. Regina knew her Mother had thrived in Wonderland since she had pushed her through the mirror, but Regina still knew it was a betrayal and her mother would punish her for it. Mother always punished bad behaviour and Regina had the scars, both mental and physical to prove it.

Cora's simpering and sweet tone was all part of the woman's devious nature. She manipulated people and to do that she needed to be seen as rational, thoughtful and caring. Her actions, however deranged were always argued away because she was looking out for someone else's best interests. Regina hoped for her own sake her mother had no plans to help her with her interests.

Pushing the panic and shock away Regina thought for a minute. She needed to find out what her mother wanted, because her mother was always about gain. She was here for a reason.

Regina shuddered as she wondered how long her mother had been here, and what she might have seen. Regina thought about the last kiss, it was in her foyer, behind closed doors, but there were mirrors everywhere and that meant her mother could have had those cold and dead eyes watching her. Regina was silently thankful Emma and Henry had left that morning. If Cora knew they were important to Regina then they were in danger.

"Mother," Regina began, "why are you here?" She raised her head and stared defiantly into the eyes of her mother.

"Why am I here? Is that how you greet me? I gave you life Regina."

"You gave birth to me, I'm not so sure what I had was a life." The bitterness was evident in the accusation.

"Of course it was life, but you were a child and children don't know what is good for them. I was acting in your best interests."

"Please spare me your explanations." Regina was feeling the fear bubbling in her belly but she ignored it.

"Regardless of the past, I am here now to remind you of your strength, stop you from squandering what we worked so hard for."

"What do you mean by that?" Regina glared at the older woman, one who she had only ever tried to please and failed every single time.

"This sickening day dreaming, spending your day lounging in a garden when you should be ruling and commanding." The condescension and disappointment was clear in her voice.

"Did it occur to you that I might be happier like this Mother?"

"Regina, you are my daughter, I am just taking an interest. And judging from your past poor choices, and the messes I have had to clear up because of them, I think it is for the best I involve myself now. This isn't right for you."

Regina took a moment to compose herself, taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a few seconds to clear her vision of the tears. Why could she never find acceptance, why was she never good enough for her mother? Would it ever end, would there ever be a way she could satisfy the woman and stop the implications and the blame?

"Mother it has been many years, I am not the person I was when I married Leopold. I want different things." She could have laughed. She was trying not to sound ungrateful but the things she had when she was seventeen were not things she wanted. They were things she had forced on her without a choice, a King for a husband and a Kingdom that still loved their fallen Queen Eva. She had only wanted to feel loved and to get away with Daniel but Mother never understood that.

"But you are still a Queen, still better than these peasants. You disrespect our family name with this display of weakness by not fulfilling your duties and you disrespect my efforts to make you Queen when you shun your responsibilities."

"I meant no disrespect." God she hated herself for it, for apologising, purely to keep the woman from angering. Her Mother was accusing her of weakness, and it was so true. She didn't stand up for herself, she gave in and her mother smiled at the victory.

"With my help it should be easy for you to retake the throne. Admittedly this is a different place," Cora looked around with clear distain on her face, she quite obviously didn't approve of the creation her daughter had made. She would want a castle and the display of power that it illustrated, a garrison of soldiers, servants to command, land with a stables to illustrate her wealth and elevate her above the peasants. She wanted a dungeon to instil fear, all of this was missing from small town life and it clearly wasn't going to satisfy her for long.

She continued, "But with our combined magic we will be a force of great power. And at least there are no unsuitable suitors to dispose of this time."

Regina recoiled like she had been slapped, Cora had known the words would upset her daughter and her smile grew. She could still see the young girl behind the smart clothes and short haircut. A girl she knew exactly how to play and manipulate.

Regina hurt. Her heart felt it would implode from the painful memories it dragged up, but she was also taking her mother's words and hoping her Mother knew nothing of Emma. If that was the case there might be a possibility the blonde could be safely kept out of this. The only problem was that Regina didn't trust her mother, she could well be talking about suitors to gauge Regina's reaction, so she did her best to remain neutral. She knew her mother was awaiting a response so she let a beat of silence pass while she structured her thoughts and worded her answer.

When Regina opened her mouth again her voice didn't shake and she was thankful for that. "Mother, do not bring up the past, it is done with." She refused to be drawn, refused to use Daniel's name, despite the clear context her mother was using, the clear implication. Regina refused to speak of that night in the stables, the night still so raw to her, all the blame and hatred in her life emanating from that one event in her past. Regina hated the choices she had made back then, but she had been young and in love. But those choices had led to the death of her lover and the guilt she carried over Daniel's death still ate at her. She could blame her Mother, she could blame Snow, and she did, passionately, but in quiet moments, she always blamed herself as well and it hurt. So she would not open that wound up in front of her Mother, she needed to be strong now. For Emma, for Henry and lastly for herself.

She continued, "You still haven't explained how or why you are here." She needed to change the topic of conversation, her mother would just bait her and undermine her if she was allowed to keep bringing up the past.

"I am a concerned parent Regina Dearest. Despite your last actions of banishing me to Wonderland and then stealing from me, you are still my child. You see we are bound together Regina, you are my Daughter, it is my magic that runs through your veins, and it called out to me as I assumed your body lay dying. I must admit when I came through the portal I was quite shocked to find you alive, you see a little over 5 months ago I felt an intense pulsing of magical pain coming from you. My magic became quite erratic for several days, which is when I thought yours must be leaving you."

"A _concerned_ mother?" Regina echoed, "One who arrives and proceeds to bring up horrific experiences from my past, who married me off at 17 years old to a man old enough to be my father, one you knew couldn't love me because he still loved his dead wife. To be trapped in a castle and to be mother to an eleven year old child when I was hardly more than a child myself." She inhaled a shuddering breath, shaking her head to stop any images of Leopold and her life in the castle invading her mind, trying to calm herself and stop her anger getting the better of her.

"Regina!" The sharp tone was cutting, it spoke of punishment and reminded her who she was speaking to and to tread carefully. "Your level of ingratitude shocks me, I've crossed realms to check on your safety!" Her Mother answered.

"No Mother, you just admitted you thought I was dead." Regina responded, some kind of realisation dawning on her face while she felt a heavy and sick feeling eat at her insides.

"You didn't come her to check on me at all did you? By your own admission you thought I was dead and gone. You came to see what was left behind, you wanted to see what I had made for myself in this land. You planned to step into my shoes and replace me as a tyrannical overlord that you could never be in the Enchanted Forest."

Any hope Regina had that her Mother might have changed and wanted to bond with her fell away from her at that moment, the truth of her mother's motives ripped at her heart and Regina hated herself even more for feeling any emotional response to her mother. This was a woman who had done nothing but abuse her all her life and dish out hard and hurtful words like other parents dish out candy to their children. And despite everything, still Regina always seem to be seeking her approval, she wanted her mother's love and acceptance and the rejection always made her chest ache and her eyes tear up.

"Yes I thought you were dead, but imagine my joy and how thrilled I was to be proven wrong. We have another chance Regina, we can do it right this time and you need not suffer so badly. We just need to remove a few key obstacles and we can rule side by side." Cora sounded so confident, in control and thriving on it.

Regina didn't believe a word, her Mother didn't share and Regina shuddered inside knowing the main obstacles were Emma's parents. Regina might not be a Snow White fan but she didn't want the woman dead any more. Emma would never forgive her, Henry would never speak to her again, and she would rather die herself than hurt them like that.

Instead she said, "You are right, I nearly died several months ago, at the hands of the people of this town. And they deserve to be punished for their treason but it isn't as simple as a show of brute force and magical prowess. We need to have a plan and you always taught me patience and the value of waiting, of knowing your enemy and then inflicting the most suffering. Meet me at the vault tomorrow morning where we can talk privately, all my spells and enchanted objects are stored there too."

"You know this world better than I, so if that is what you recommend I defer to your judgement. It is good to see you Regina, good to see you still have passion and fire and recognise the value of family ties." It was lip service and Regina recognised it as such, her Mother didn't mind waiting, she was probably weak from travelling and still acclimatising to this world and that was the only reason she took her daughter's advice.

"Always Mother." Regina hated the syrupy sweet tones her mother used as she sugar coated her lies and fed Regina the things she thought she wanted to hear. She hated having to show respect to a woman who had never shown her one ounce. But she knew it was more dangerous to stand against her, so she played the game and did just enough to get her mother to leave thinking she had won her daughter over.

* * *

David took the call, it was gone 1am and it woke Snow who was asleep next to him.

"Calm down Jim." David was immediately awake and using his commanding tone. "Yes I understand, drunk and disorderly, refusing to leave. Yes I got it."

Snow heard more frantic babbling on the other end of the phone and David blew out frustrated breath. "Yes, of course I'll attend, just calm down and don't provoke her. I'll be there in ten minutes."

As he hung up he looked over at Snow who had moved out of the bed and was pulling on a pair of jeans.

"What are you doing?" David looked at his wife.

"It was Regina, wasn't it?" Snow looked at David, meeting his confused stare.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Because Emma and Henry left this morning."

"I don't follow. What does that have to do with it?"

"Just let me go and deal with it, ok? I need to have a conversation with Regina, woman to woman, it is long overdue." The brunette smiled and walked round the bed to squeeze her husband's hand gently. "Go back to sleep, I've got this covered."

"Like hell!" Charming was trying to get out of bed.

"Charming." Snow used her firmest tone of voice as she pushed at his chest and forced him back into the bed, "Regina isn't a threat, she's just drunk. The only thing grounding her was Emma and Emma left this morning. Let me speak to her, there are things I need to say. She won't hurt me, she has been true to her word about magical use, the worst that will happen is she might get mouthy and I am more than capable of dealing with that."

Charming grumbled as he lay back down, "Ok, but at the first sign of anything unexpected ring me. I mean it Snow, anything at all."

"Yes Dear." Snow was already leaving the room, she had a heavy feeling in her stomach, this wasn't going to go well, but she needed answers, she needed to say this.

As Snow walked into the dark bar she held her head high. She refused to be intimidated despite this being an unusual environment, this wasn't Friday night drinks with the girls and dancing until midnight. This was a weeknight where hard core drinkers who at close to 2am were still hitting it pretty hard. They probably felt this bar was more a home than their own house was and spent their time downing alcohol because it filled a void in their lives. This was definitely not the kind of place she would usually frequent.

The stagnant smell and the feel of the room wrapped round her, it made her uncomfortable in a cloying way. Everything was too close, the warm room wasn't welcoming and neither were the patrons as no-one turned to look at her, they were too engrossed in their drinks and the drunken comradery of their friends. Neon blazed unnaturally lighting the place and causing areas of dark shadow and Snow took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the gloom.

Her ears were assaulted with noise as she was greeted with rowdy and raucous laughter, mostly coming from a table in the back. She immediately recognised Regina's voice carrying over the general noise.

"I did not say that, Horace."

"Then what did you say, My Queen." The drunken response made Snow feel unwell, it was meant to be flirty but the man saying it was greasy, his behaviour slimy rather than respectful and with an angry scar running down his face that made his leering look even more disgusting, the brunette shuddered at the display.

Snow recognised him as one of Regina's loyal guards, but he had never been particularly smart. He was bulky, muscled under his chequered shirt but his personality was repulsive. Snow remembered the way his beady eyes would follow her down the corridor and his gaze had nothing to do with protecting her.

Snow had the rather bizarre thought that Regina could do better. She stood at the bar and nodded to Jim, letting him know she was dealing with this.

Regina had just let Horace place his hand on her arm, far too much intimacy in Snow's opinion. He was too close and showing a distinct lack of understanding about his station in life. If he was treating Regina as The Queen he would never had touched her, he would have been in fear of her. Now he seemed to be salivating over her, and Regina seemed too drunk to care.

Snow had seen enough. She marched over and forcibly removed Horace's hand to a crowd of jeering as the other guards that were clustered round the table noticed her presence and were less than impressed with her interruption.

"Snow, how nice. Care to join us for a drink?" Regina was a little slurred, her eyes weren't properly focused and Snow saw the empty shot glasses littering the table and the sticky puddles of spilled alcohol.

"No. I think you've had enough tonight. I'll drive you home." Snow wasn't going to indulge the older woman, this had gone far enough.

"You do not get to issue orders, especially not to me." She hissed out as she stood and glared at the younger woman. Regina was drunk but she had heard the reproachful tone and it made her angry, which significantly doused the drunken buzz she had been carefully cultivating all night.

Clapping greeted the response, the guards probably more drunk than their fallen leader. Snow ignored them, deciding it would be easier than getting caught up in the odd reunion Regina seemed to have got herself mixed up in.

"I haven't been out in months, Snow. Why must I cut my evening short?" Regina's fingernails danced against the glass in her hands and Snow wanted to reach out and stop them as they clinked an uneven rhythm. She raised an eyebrow at her younger and estranged family member, daring her to answer.

"You're drunk."

"That's generally the idea when you come to a bar. I'm just letting my hair down and relaxing, it's been a hell of a day."

"And it'll be a hell of a night if you don't leave with me now. There have been complaints." Snow kept her gaze steady, not giving an inch to the older woman, she knew from past experience that was dangerous.

"Of course there have. I can't go anywhere without someone tattling to you can I?"

"Regina." Snow was exasperated. "Just let me drive you home. I didn't come here for a fight."

"Well it appears you didn't come here to drink either, what a waste of a trip as you are going to leave empty handed." A smugness slipped over the older woman's features.

"If I stay for a drink will you consider leaving?"

The wolfish grin she got in return made the younger brunette hate herself for giving in, but she was here for Emma, she had an agenda. Emma wouldn't want her to leave Regina alone with these men. And one drink wouldn't hurt.

Regina roughly grasped her arm and pulled her down to sit at the table. She then reached over to a full shot and grasping it between her delicate fingers placed it in front of Snow.

"Drink up." And she grinned at the younger woman, relishing some kind of victory.

Snow put her elbows on the table and wished she hadn't, it was sticky and she felt liquid soak into the fabric of her long sleeved blouse. She was going to smell like a drunk. She picked up the shot and nearly grimaced at the smell. She might have stomached rum but this was whiskey, the amber colour of the liquid didn't entice her.

She knocked it back and felt it burn her throat. Regina's eyes watched her. She didn't like the scrutiny, it made her feel decidedly uncomfortable so she looked away.

She wasn't sure what was happening here, she thought Emma's leaving with Henry was the reason for this behaviour, the drunken outing being used to distract the older woman from her loneliness.

But she also thought Emma's company might finally mean something to the fallen Queen, might have shown her a better way to be. Maybe it was a vain hope, but she had watched Emma and knew she was invested in something with her ex-Step Mother. She had hoped maybe Regina might return some of the affection. She did after all willingly welcome Emma into her home, cook for her, and Snow knew there were nights Emma hadn't come home until the morning. That spoke of something deeper between them.

So why was the older woman here flirting with her old guards and getting blindly drunk?

And why was she being studied so carefully, like she was being measured? There were too many questions, and Snow intended to get answers once she had the woman on her own.

Snow put the glass down on the table as Horace stood. He let his gaze rest far too long on her breasts and he smiled sloppily. Snow wanted to punch him, however she refrained.

"More drinks?" Horace was leering at both ladies now. His eyes raking over their assets in a feral way that made Snow nauseated.

"We're leaving." Snow managed to grit out through her clenched jaw.

Horace's gaze swung to his Queen who had stood as she made her decision. She had felt lost earlier, her Mother's re-appearance had shaken her badly and she had probably over indulged in too much drink. However she wasn't so inebriated that she didn't recognise the opportunity that presented itself when Snow had arrived. She would leave with the woman and try and do something alien to both of them. She was going to try and have a civil conversation.

"Good night Horace." Regina walked past the man and failed to see his eyes drop to her shapely ass. Snow saw it and felt the urge to vomit the drink back up. She was so lucky to have Charming, he was a good man.

The car journey was uncomfortable, the silence spun out between them. They both breathed a sigh of relief when Regina's house came into view. Snow walked with the older woman up the pathway and watched her open the front door. It was now or never.

"I know about you and Emma, I'm not stupid enough to think it will stop just because I ask, but you need to know I will kill you if you hurt her."

Regina thought about shutting the door on the younger woman, but instead she dignified her with a cutting response.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I think the drink may have gone to your head because you are clearly delusional."

"Don't pull that horse shit with me Regina!" Snow's eyes blazed. "Don't think people don't tell me they see Emma sneaking around here. She is either arriving or leaving at odd hours of the night, her car parked here for hours when she should be home sleeping. Then there was that rather public display at The Rabbit Hole several months ago, her continued defence of you and the fact that she has stopped eating at the Diner for home cooked meals here. Something is going on and I'm certain it is sexual."

"Nothing is going on." Regina was vehement in her denial, her promise to Emma that she wouldn't tell her parents was something she would stick to. She regretfully thought she should have shut the door on Snow a minute ago, regardless of how rude that behaviour was.

"Regina, listen to me. I know. I have known for months. I overheard something between you and Emma, it came from her own lips."

"Still the sneaky bandit than?" Regina sneered at her.

"That doesn't matter, what matters is what happens to Emma." Snow looked hard into Regina's eyes.

"I promised her never to tell you."

"And she will never know you have."

Regina laughed bitterly at that before she commented, "Forgive me if I have an issue believing that. You're not so good with keeping secrets or promises."

"I'm older and wiser than I was then. I made a mistake Regina, can't we put it behind us? For Emma's sake."

"Why do you assume I'll hurt her?" Regina cocked her head and looked at Snow, gauging the younger woman in front of her.

"Your behaviour tonight? The flirting? Emma's only been gone twelve hours and you were trying to replace her with Horace!"

"That was never serious, I had no intention of bringing him home." Regina fumed, Snow still thought she was so good and could give her a lecture on morality.

"He looked like he had other ideas."

"Well he would have been solely disappointed. Not that it is any of your business."

"Maybe not, but Emma is my concern. And I know that whatever she is telling herself, she is invested in her relationship with you, far deeper than I'd like. Finding out you had bedded someone else would upset her." Snow kept pushing.

"Emma and I are just friends, and I don't have many of those. Are you asking me to give that up?" Regina didn't quite look Snow in the eye.

"It is more than that, you know it, I know it and I suspect Emma is beginning to realise it too."

"Let's assume that is true, what do you want from me?" The eyes were fierce, boring into the younger woman.

"Is it just a game? Is it a spell? Is this all just to hurt me?"

"Oh yes, because everything I do has to revolve around you, doesn't it?" Regina was angry that Snow was so narrow minded, so convinced at her own importance in this.

"Well it did for over a decade in the Enchanted Forest, so forgive me if I struggle to understand this fascination with My Daughter."

Regina just glared at the younger brunette, and the seconds ticked by.

Eventually Regina grudgingly replied, "It isn't a spell, she comes here willingly."

Snow probed further, "Then what is it that exists between you two?"

"Nothing I can so easily define." Regina snapped back.

"Stop with the word games. That tells me nothing."

Regina watched the hands fist in frustration and knew it was a family trait, one she saw Emma use to try and contain her emotions so she could focus and speak calmly. It rarely worked for Emma, Regina was pretty certain if she pushed at Snow it wouldn't work either.

But the older woman did recognise that this was a Mother trying to protect her child and Regina knew that she'd do anything if it was Henry in danger so she gave up trying to push at Snow because it was clear neither of them would give in over this. She tried to explain to her Ex-Step Daughter.

"And yet I think you understand. I can't tell you what it is because I don't know, I know how it feels, but I'm not ready to put a name to it and neither is Emma. I can tell you I have no intention of hurting her, but you know as well as I do that good intentions sometimes hurt people as much as bad ones."

Snow sighed. She had her answers, yes the relationship was still continuing and she knew Emma was invested, surprisingly she thought Regina was also invested, she seemed to be speaking truthfully and appeared to be genuine. She had a hard decision to make, accepting the relationship would be hard, but losing Emma wasn't an option. Accepting Emma's sexual orientation was easy, accepting her choice of partner was more difficult, but compared to not having Emma in their lives again, Snow would try and make this work and accept as best she could.

"If I accept that you will act with the best intentions towards my daughter, I will try to accept this relationship and build something between us so it is easier when she finally tells me. Do you know why hasn't she told me?"

"That is between you and her. Things between Mother and Daughter are best left that way."

"Regina, you need to stop digging at me about that, we'll never move on and Emma will suffer. I can't change the past." Snow was angry, her frustration about the continual reminder and blame between them was grating on her. It was nearly forty years ago and she could only apologise so many times. Add in the fact it was the middle of the night, she had been woken and was still tired, the younger woman found her patience sorely stretched.

"Actually I wasn't talking about you this time." Regina shook her head, she needed to think about wording this correctly. She continued, "I was looking at you earlier to see whether I could trust you, trying to assess whether you had changed."

"And what did you see? Could you trust me?"

"If you knew about Emma and I and you haven't interfered until now, then yes, I believe you might have changed."

"So what is it you want to trust me with?" Snow felt how important this was, an expectation had seeped into Regina's words and her face had tensed. Snow recognised the small signs, she had grown up with this woman and they could read each other despite all their arguments to the contrary.

"I am only telling you this because I need something from you, do you understand?"

"Yes Regina" Snow pushed her frustration away. Trust her Ex-Step Mother to build the tension and keep her waiting. She added, "What is it?"

"My Mother."

The words hung between them, Snow remembering the coldness, the skilled manipulator, the danger. There was silence as Snow pieced things together. The reason Regina was drinking, fear and shock, not that she would admit that but Snow knew it was the truth. There was the fact she had gone to a public place and surrounded herself with strong, if stupid men, searching subconsciously for the feeling of a modicum of safety. Even Regina must have known Cora wouldn't be stopped by surrounding herself with guards but there weren't too many options that would stop Cora if she was angry or driven. It explained the panicked look that crossed the older woman's features when Snow had mentioned Emma and Henry.

Regina's Mother was here, for what purpose, she wasn't sure, but Regina didn't have Emma here to talk to and was desperately reaching out for help to the only person she could find. At least Snow knew of Cora, knew the very really and acute danger this represented. She was so thankful something had told her to deal with this tonight and that it wasn't Charming stood here. He recognised Regina had changed, but he wouldn't have entered into conversation with her and the threat would not have been uncovered.

"What does she want?" Snow finally voiced.

"I don't know, but she can't find out about Emma or Henry. She may already know, this might be too late, but if she knows how important they are to me she won't hesitate, she'll use them as leverage to persuade me to do what she wants. You need to keep them safe, I need you to help me."

Snow looked into eyes that were masking fear quite well. But it was there and she knew exactly why. She didn't speak, she just nodded and with that an uneasy alliance was formed. She needed to go home and warn Charming, she had left home with one problem and was coming home with two. Accepting Regina as Emma's lover now seemed rather insignificant in comparison to the news that Cora was roaming the streets of Storybrooke.

She briefly touched Regina's arm before she stepped away and down the walkway to the street. Never had she expected the two of them to be on the same side, to be united with a common goal. She thought back to the Old World and the blood spilled. They had been here in Storybrooke for nearly 30 years without a battle or bloodshed but she knew that peace would soon be shattered. However Cora decided to strike it would probably make the attack on Regina 5 months ago look tame, there would be pain and suffering, tears and blood spilled and almost certain death for some unfortunate people caught in the cross fire. She was glad Charming kept his sword sharp and her bow was close to hand.


	19. Truths Revealed

Thanks for the kind comments. I know you have had a long wait, I can only apologise.

Sorry this is a little unoriginal, steals heavily from the episode Manhattan Season 2. Obviously I have embellished some bits and added my own spin.

Enjoy the read.

* * *

A man who had once been feared across many lands felt his hands shake and he clasped them together so his travelling companions wouldn't see. Mr Gold had never been on an airplane, neither had Henry but he had his childish enthusiasm, where Rumpelstiltskin only had fear.

He was concerned about the flight, but he was also concerned what he might find once they landed and they had located Bae. He had thought for years what he would say but now his mind kept coming up blank. He desperately wanted to talk to his son, but he also felt the fear that he had always lived with eat at him.

Henry beamed up at him and he gave a stilted smile back, not comfortable with the boy who he knew was the key to everything but also meant to be his downfall. Children had far too much exuberance and a sheltered view of the world and he didn't feel comfortable making deals with them so he was at a loss how to interact with the boy.

Emma sat lost in her own thoughts, ones about a beautiful brunette and how she was going to word the conversation with her parents. Never having parents who gave a damn before left her somewhat at a disadvantage, she had never had to bring a partner home for inspection, let alone one she knew they despised.

Giving up Regina wasn't an option, so she would just have to make her parents see that. This wasn't a casual fling anymore, this had grown and if her parents were the examples of goodness and fairness they kept claiming to be then they should at least be able to give this relationship a chance.

She was their daughter but they needed to recognise she was also a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. She wasn't a child, and it was their own silly fault they had missed her growing up, believing a magical wardrobe would take care of her. They couldn't coddle and protect her now, they had missed that boat, now it was about learning to accept that and making the most of the time they did have, time Emma fully expected to spend as much with Regina as she did with them.

* * *

The flight was uneventful and so was landing, Emma had packed light as was her habit so they didn't linger at baggage reclaim, and they were straight out into the hustle and bustle of the busy city.

Emma immediately remembered why she liked the city. So busy no-one gave you a second look, it was perfect to blend in and be one of the crowd. Yes it was hectic, it was a concrete jungle, buildings, roads, tarmac, neon and glass were everywhere and she missed the life that it buzzed with. Emma compared it to Storybrooke with its open water and trees. If it had just been her she'd embrace the city without question, but it wasn't just her anymore. She had Henry to think about, a growing boy who needed exercise, fresh air, a space to relax and play and that was sorely missing here. And Regina, well Emma didn't know what she preferred. Knowing her love of riding and where she had come from, a forest with large areas of grassland and few constructions to break up the view, Emma guessed her lover might not be a city kind of girl either.

She took a deep breath and the traffic fumes assailed her senses, the smell of hot food coming from street vendors blended and she turned with a smile on her face to find her companions looking a little lost at the height of the buildings, the blur of people rushing by and the busy road in front of them. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the noise of the traffic and she made sure she didn't stride off, keeping close to both Henry and Gold so they didn't get separated from each other and become lost in the busy crowd.

Henry soon calmed, he looked around the city with wonder and amazement. Gold on the other hand was more than a little jittery. He remembered the day he had let Bae go, the day he had broken his word to the most important person in his life and it still haunted him. He wanted the chance to try and put it right, but he knew he was grasping. It wasn't his decision to make and every second brought the confrontation closer, one he had no idea what the outcome would be and he had no way to manipulate it to the conclusion he wanted anyway.

It was an alien situation and he was remembering why he gave up being mortal. Magic and power made his heart sing but they had cost him his boy, his Baelfire. He felt unbearably conflicted and all his eons of planning rested on the next few hours. He thought he was nervous, but it had been so long since he had felt anything except the roar of magical power as the pull of The Dark One he wasn't entirely sure what he felt.

His loss of control at the airport and the deep breathes he kept taking weren't helping, but he walked with his head held high and kept pace with his two companions despite his limp. He might be in inner turmoil but he would never show that, never hand someone else power over him by showing weakness and insecurity.

When issuing his directions his voice remained steady and didn't give a hint of shaking. He kept all conversation brief but watched Miss Swan and her son interact, the banter and questions quickly passing between them. It gave him something to focus on that wasn't the feeling of dread that seemed to have settled on him.

Gold was able to direct them as far as a street in a busy neighbourhood with several apartment complexes. Stood looking at them Emma knew there were hundreds upon hundreds of people living here, all anonymous and getting on with their lives as best they could.

She thought back to her life, had she been happy? She had been lonely through choice, but she couldn't say she was happy. She had been existing in her own small space of big city living, enjoying the ease of it, able to find food and drink on every corner but hiding away when she needed her own space. But easy wasn't the same. It had taken Storybrooke to make her feel alive.

Sharing her space and her time with a son, her parents, a lover, she was no longer lonely. When she went running now her blood pumped hard round her body, music made her smile and she could actually taste food and enjoyed entering a warm kitchen with Regina's heavenly lasagne fragrancing the air.

Her life before had been bland, she had been spending her time rather numbly going through the motions and not enjoying much. Chasing bountys hadn't really thrilled or fulfilled her, the money seemed to get spent but there had never been excitement with new purchases and everything felt hollow.

She realised she missed the anonymity of the city, the pace of it and the huge array of choices but she didn't miss her life there.

* * *

She rang the apartment without a name on the bell. That was textbook behaviour, not advertising who you were and letting people believe the apartment was vacant. She had a hunch this was it, it just felt right.

"UPS package for 407."

For a few seconds nothing happened and then the sound of hasty movement down a fire escape came from above.

"He's running." Emma watched the figure and judged his build and how fast he would be.

"That favour you owe me, this is it. Get him to talk to me. I can't run." Gold indicated his leg and the cane supporting him.

"Watch Henry. I'll be back."

And with that Emma shot off after the man Gold was convinced was his son.

He was quick but Emma was quicker and after several twists and turns she saw an opportunity to cut off the hooded figure. She changed direction and cut through an alleyway so she was able to throw herself at him and they collided hard. They both ended up on the sidewalk in a heap, a little winded and struggling to regain their footing.

They were face to face kneeling on the ground and Emma felt her stomach lurch as she looked into the eyes of her old lover.

"No. Neal?" She didn't believe what her eyes were telling her, there was no way this could be happening.

"Emma." He stood and lowered his hoodie, saying, "I don't understand, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not answering anything until you tell me the truth. Are you Gold's son?" Her face went from shock to anger, everything piling in on her, forgotten and long buried feelings quickly forcing themselves to the surface.

"What are you talking about, who's Gold?" Not knowing about the curse and the cursed names, Neal denied it.

"You played me. You're from there and you played me."

"Slow down, what are you talking about? Who is Gold?"

"Your father, Rumpelstiltskin."

Neal took a step back, the magnitude of it all showing on his face as he pieced together Emma's somewhat disjointed account of the situation and her accusation.

"He's here?"

"Why else would I be in New York?"

Anger filled his voice as he shouted at her, "You brought him to me? Why would you do that?"

"I am the only one allowed to be angry here! Did you know who I was, where I was from the whole time? Was this just some kind of sick twisted plan? Did you even care about me at all? I want to know, I want the truth. All of it!"

As she was venting it occurred to Emma the truth was something she had rarely been given in her life, families that said they cared to give her back up months later, parents desperate to love her but unable to fully accept her, Henry's mother and her lover who had lied repeatedly before the curse broke. Were things different between the two of them now the curse was broken? She didn't have time for thinking about it now but it sowed a seed of doubt in her mind.

"Fine." Neal agreed to calm her. "But we've got to get off the street, we can't do it here out in the open. I have spent a life time running from that man and I'm not going to let him catch me." He took a second to gather himself, "There's a bar down the street. We can talk there."

"I am not drinking with you, whatever you're going to tell me, tell me now."

Always able to roll with it, making him so good at flying under the radar and living a life of petty crime Neal responded, "No a bar is better, don't worry you can keep yelling at me when we get there."

She marched off after him, her boots slamming into the pavement to indicate her frustration. She had never thought there would be a reunion between them, but now there was, life had yet again thrown her a curve ball.

As they sat together with a drink each, neither really interested in the beer Neal finally said,

"Well what do you want to know? You want the truth Emma, ask away."

"Did you know who I was when we meet?"

"If I had I wouldn't have gone near you."

"Come on."

"Come on what? I was in hiding. I came here to get away from all that crap."

"So if you didn't know, then you were just using me. You needed someone to take the fall for the watches you stole."

"I wasn't using you. When we meet I didn't know. I found out."

He looked sad and ashamed as he dropped his gaze to his beer.

Emma grudgingly sat down to listen to him. She was still so very angry, she thought she had moved past her feelings for Neal, but they had all come roaring back. Not the love she had once felt, that was definitely gone, but all the messed up blame and insecurities. The anger and deep seated bitterness she had tried for years to rise above and not let dictate her decisions.

"When I went to sell the watches I ran into a friend of yours, August. He knew who I was, your future to break the curse. He told me that we weren't meant to have a life together, to walk away from you and leave you so that you could continue on the path you were always meant for and destiny could be fulfilled."

"You left me and I went to prison because Pinocchio told you to?" Incredulity was painting her face and tainted her voice. She had tears in her eyes.

"Emma….."

"I loved you."

"I was trying to help you."

It sounded so much like the excuse her parents trotted out, it was for the best, the wardrobe was a good idea, look we are back together, no harm done. This was just another fairy tale where Emma paid the price and the happy ending evaporated if you were a blonde called Swan.

"By letting me go to jail?"

"By getting you home."

"Are you telling me that us meeting was a coincidence? Because how the hell did that happen? If it wasn't in your plan or your father's?"

"Think about it, he wanted you to break the curse. Us meeting, that could have stopped it. Maybe it was fate."

"You believe in that?"

"You know there's not a ton about my father that I remember that doesn't suck, but he used to tell me there are no co-incidences. Everything that happens happens by design. There's nothing we can do about it, forces greater than us conspire to make it happen. Fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it, the point is, maybe we meet for a reason."

Emma knew the reason, he was eleven and had shaggy hair. He believed when no one else would, and he held Regina's heart and brought everything together, united and tied the whole messed up. And she had no intention of telling Neal about him. He had left her pregnant and alone, he had made his choice.

He continued, "Maybe something good came from us being together."

Emma made her decision, stamping down on it when she shrugged at him and replied, "No. Nothing I can think of."

He took the rejection, knowing it was her anger and his betrayal that had brought them to this place.

"I just went to jail. That's it. Doesn't matter now. I'm over it. And you."

"Why do you wear the key chain I got you?" Neal had seen it and knew Emma had made the decision to keep it, he suspected she was lying to him but he wasn't sure about what. But he was very good at reading people, it was a skill he had honed for years. It made him able to sense trouble, any sign of danger and disappear and he sensed the lie and how uncomfortable Emma was about seeing him again. He felt it went much deeper than just the watches.

Emma grasped the chain round her neck and pulled, dropping it on the counter.

"To remind myself to never trust someone else ever again."

And she thought of Regina, did she mean that? Life was so very lonely not trusting anyone. She had made a mistake with Neal, she didn't know who he was, where he had come from and the things he had done. She knew all of that with Regina, there was a whole blasted book if she ever needed to be reminded.

The dynamic she shared with Regina was different, she had learned from her past mistakes and their relationship was built on truth. Nasty, horrific truths. Evil deeds and twisted behaviour, deadly thoughts and sinister wishes, but all of it was out in the open between them and it was honest. But it did make her wonder whether love was worth it, taking a chance and investing emotions had rarely worked out for her. There were foster families and friends she had been forced to leave behind, all that love and effort and energy she had given had been wasted, and it was just magnified ten-fold with Neal. She was bitter that for her 28 years she had nothing but heartache to show for it.

It ate at her, she felt the tension fill her body and she knew she'd be distant with the brunette while she tried to work through this. It was a massive shock and she needed time. Would Regina understand and give her time? She hoped so because she was struggling with this, it was like it had been set her back 11 years and she felt insecure, unsteady and unsure just like Neal's betrayal had left her then.

She resolutely pushed all that away, she had a job to do here and now. She said, "Come on. I made a deal with your father I'd bring you to him."

"You made a deal with him?" It was an echo of Henry saying it in the Sheriff's station, and she thought back to how things had been so easy just 2 days ago. Her biggest problem had been Regina finding out she let Henry eat doughnuts for breakfast.

"Yeah, and I'm upholding my end."

"Emma you don't have to, you know that."

"I know."

"Ok so this should be real easy for you. Tell him that you lost me. Tell him you can't find me. You do that, you'll never have to see me again."

* * *

Emma needed to talk to someone, she was going out of her mind with possibilities and the weight of what she had just found out. And the only person she felt comfortable with and wanted to tell wasn't a possibility. She knew she couldn't talk to Regina about this, Emma was scared it would break the brunette and send their new found trust and relationship spiralling. She knew at the very least it wasn't a conversation to have over the phone, she needed to explain to Regina face to face.

So she rang the next best person, her Mother. She wanted her parents to be proud of her, and this was just another thing she was screwing up. She was worried and it was with a heavy heart Emma rang, to tell her the situation and to try and get some advice. She knew Regina would support her in whatever choice she made, her mother on the other hand was known to believe in doing the right thing which might not be in Emma's best interests. She had lied to Henry and now to Neal, it was beginning to unravel and she felt frustrated tears threaten to fall.

As Emma explained the problem at hand Snow repeated, "Wait, Gold's son is Henry's father?"

"I know, I know. And all the questions you have, I have them too, but the problem is it doesn't matter right now because I don't know what to do."

"Please tell me you're not calling to ask me to tell you to keep it from him." And there it was, Snow doing the right thing.

"Henry thinks his father is dead, I told him that for a reason, I want to protect him." Emma tried to justify it, Neal wasn't reliable, and in fact he was in hiding by his own admission. Emma was certain that wasn't a trait in a responsible father figure.

"No matter what this man did, Henry has a right to know who his father is. The truth about your parents, Emma you of all people should know how important that is." And Emma felt the knife twist, her Mother didn't mean to but she was using guilt to get Emma to do the right thing. God Emma wished she had called Regina.

"I don't want Henry to get hurt. I just want to protect him."

"Are you sure this is about protecting Henry and not yourself?"

With tears in her eyes Emma said a strangled goodbye to her mother. Yes part of it was to protect herself, but she really didn't need to be lectured about the choice she was about to make or made to feel she owed Neal something.

And back in Storybrooke Snow hadn't been able to talk to her daughter properly. She had been shocked about finding out Henry's parentage, and then even more surprised when Emma wanted to lie about it. She had been so distracted that all thoughts of Cora had left her mind and now she knew Emma wouldn't call back. She was very aware that Emma was struggling and she had wanted someone to tell her that the lying was ok and justified. Snow hadn't done that and Emma had immediately hung up without the chance to discuss anything else. She was left hoping her daughter would do the right thing but not feeling particularly confident.

* * *

"Hey." Emma came back looking lost and vulnerable before she pulled herself together and faced her son and his grandfather.

"Did you find him?" Rumpelstiltskin was immediately on his feet.

"I'm sorry, your son got away."

Gold didn't take the news well and spun round to press the intercom. He was jabbing at the console, his agitation and aggression clear.

"Gold, wait, what are you doing?" Emma didn't know what she expected, but she knew deep down she wasn't going to come out of this clean, Rumpelstiltskin wasn't going to just give up and go home to Storybrooke.

The door released and swung open with a squeal.

"I'm finding my son."

And he walked into the tatty looking entrance hall.

"He's gone." Emma tried desperately to call him back but he was on a mission, he had seen the fleeing figure of his son and he wasn't going to let him get away again. He stiffly climbed the stairs to the flat they had tried to ring the buzzer of earlier.

"But he lives here, and he'll be back. I'll be waiting."

"Stop! We can't just break in."

"Well actually that's something I'm quite adept at."

Gold already had the tools in his hand and was working the lock over. Emma regretted bringing Henry, he was now witness to a crime and she was frantic that he not meet Neal, that they leave. She was almost urgent as she argued with the older man.

"He may not come back."

"Finding people is what you do Miss Swan, I am simply going to assist you. There may be information in here, who he is, what he does, who he loves."

"Look don't do this. There are things called laws."

So Henry piped up, "I'll be look out." and Emma's heart sank. He was acting as a conspirator, Regina would kill her if she knew what was going on here.

"You could get arrested." Emma tried again.

"Then my son will have to testify against me and we will be reunited."

Emma had underestimated the drive and desire this man had to find his son. He was going to stop at nothing. She should have realised, he had been the pivotal force in transporting everyone to Storybrooke and denying them their memories for 28 years. In comparison his dogged behaviour now was only a shadow of the determination he had shown to get to this point in time.

Emma was lost, out of her depth and frightened. As the door swung open she felt sick and wished the ground would open her up and swallow her.

"We really shouldn't be here." But she knew it was too late.

"I don't think he is listening." Henry saw the distracted way the older man was wandering, appraising every detail in the flat.

Emma crossed the threshold and looked round, she knew it was wrong but when her eye fell on the window her feet carried her across the room. She lifted the dream catcher, and Gold noticed the distraction in her walk and the odd look on her face.

"You find something Dearie?"

"Nothing" Emma answered to quickly, "It just looks like a dreamcatcher."

"Yes well if it is nothing why are you still holding it?" The Imp lived by suspicion, never trusting and his instincts were telling him something was very off here.

"You're lying to me." His accusation was very clear, the dangerous quality in his low voice made Emma nervous.

"Lets get back to looking, ok?" and she hung the dream catcher back at the window.

"No, No, No. You saw something, tell me."

"You don't know what you are talking about."

"Tell me."

"Henry go wait in the bathroom."

He tried to argue, but Emma was firm, barely holding onto her temper, "Henry go!"

Once her son had left the room she turned to Gold. "There's nothing here, the guy's a ghost."

"You think me a fool. You're holding back, but why?"

"I'm not holding back."

"Did he tell you something?"

"Gold."

"Did he tell you something?" The anger was evident in the raised voice.

"Nothing, he didn't say anything."

"But you talked to him." It was a statement, Emma thought she was good at reading situations and controlling them, but this man picked up on everything and she was on the back foot from the minute they had reached New York, she just hadn't realised it.

"Don't put words in my mouth." She tried to buy time, to think.

"Tell me. You tell me, or I'm going to make you tell me."

"You don't have magic here."

"Oh I don't need magic." He closed the distance between them, threatening her with each step.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Do not push me." He responded.

"Don't push me." She echoed him, the situation escalating with each second that passed.

"We had a deal" He pushed over the nearest thing he came into contact with, a wooden piece of furniture and the contents of the cabinet fell out all over the floor. "No-one breaks deals with me!"

And as if Emma thought things couldn't get worse that was when Neal walked back in.

"Hey." His shout caught both of them mid argument and silenced them. Neal stood in the doorway to his apartment and faced his father. "Leave her alone."

Gold took a step back, finally this was what he had wanted but he hadn't wanted his son to come in and finding him issuing threats. He had wanted Baelfire to believe he had changed and this wasn't helping.

"Bae, you came back for me." He went with welcoming, greeting his son.

"No." He shook his head. "I came to make sure you didn't hurt her." And he indicated Emma who was looked down and away from him.

The look on Gold's face told Neal he had hit the mark, he didn't show he was upset but

Neal continued, "I've seen what you do to people who break deals."

"Bae please, just let me talk."

"I have no interest in talking to you so you can just go."

"I'm not going anywhere." Gold decided he could still control this and Neal responded to it with his own aggression, refusing to be told what to do by his long absent father.

His voice rose in anger, "Get out of my apartment."

Emma tried to get between them, tried to placate him, "Neal" was all she was able to say before he cut her off.

"Emma I got this." And they exchanged looks which Gold immediately picked up on.

"You two know each other." There was another look which only confirmed Gold's suspicion. "You two know each other. How?"

Emma responded, "You sent me chasing after him."

"No. Stop it. You're lying. How do you two know each other?"

At that point Henry reappeared from the bathroom.

"Mom what's going on?"

Emma took Henry by the shoulders, knowing everything was about to come crashing down around her. She felt sick.

Neal asked, "Who's this?"

"My son." Emma answered him but immediately her focus returned to Henry.

"What?" Neal looked closely at the young man before him.

"Is that Baelfire?" Henry felt the tension but didn't understand the raised voices or why everyone was unsettled.

"I need you to stay in the other room for a little while longer ok?" Emma pushed Henry away

"How old are you?" Neal had already made the shaky connection, it was in the tone he used, and he was daring Emma to deny it.

"Don't answer him." Emma was still guiding Henry away, trying to get him away from the situation before it imploded round her.

"How old are you kid?" Neal shouted across the room.

Henry answered in a shout of his own, not understanding the significance, "Eleven. Now why is everyone yelling?"

"He's eleven." Neal uttered the statement and swung his eyes and pinned Emma with his stare.

"Mom?" Henry saw the exchange and knew something big was happening, he just didn't know what.

"Is this my son?"

The look on Emma's face said everything, however Henry still wasn't picking up on it and again told his father, "No, my Dad was a fireman. He died."

Emma walked over and Henry looked up at her, "That's what you told me." His usual confidence and self-assured nature was missing as his voice became quiet. Emma literally saw the second he realised he'd been lied to and made the connection himself.

Neal repeated his question, knowing the answer and struggling with the massive ramifications it caused.

And Emma knew she couldn't deny it anymore. "Yes."

She was cradling Henry's face but he pulled away and hopped out the open window onto the fire escape. The look of betrayal on his face stung Emma but she realised now everything was out in the open it couldn't get any worse. She followed him slowly, giving him some space and time to think through what had just happened.

"So that's him?" Henry sat on the iron steps facing his blonde Mother.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I never thought I'd see him again. I never wanted to."

"Why not?"

"He was a thief Henry, a liar, a bad guy and he broke my heart."

"I could have taken it you know. The truth."

"I know. It was just a part of my life I wanted to forget. That's why I didn't tell you. I was thinking of me, not you."

"I thought you were different, but you're just like her. Regina. She always lied to me too." Henry looked crestfallen under his fringe of hair.

"I'm sorry." Guilt was written clearly and boldly on Emma's face. And her betrayal had reminded Henry of Regina's past conduct, when he had been getting over it and learning to forgive his brunette mother. Emma really had messed this up.

"I want to meet my Dad."

And all Emma could do was nod, his comments had stung her badly and she was worried how she could now tell him about her relationship with Regina. That was another huge lie that sat between them.

She lowered her head and ducked back into the apartment, saying to Neal, "He wants to meet you."

"You weren't going to tell me about him."

"No I wasn't."

"Yeah well, he's my kid too so you don't get to make that decision by yourself anymore."

"Great, go talk to him then."

Neal took a deep breath and looked at the figure through the window. As he moved away Emma stood in his path, blocking it. "But don't break his heart." She warned him and then stepped aside.

"Trust me, I'm not going to do to him, what he did to me." Angling his head and indicating his absent father.

"Yeah and what you did to me." Emma added, trying to get Neal to see he had some responsibility in the way this had played out.

He smiled at her, throwing his arms wide in an exasperated gesture, "I get it, we all messed up. What do you say we try and avoid that with him? Alright?" And he walked past her and out the window to greet Henry.

Emma sincerely hoped the way Neal was talking didn't mean he thought they were going to co-parent Henry in a cosy relationship. He had been absent for eleven years, one more than Emma. And she had spent that year struggling with responsibility and knowledge, trying to become a mother. She knew he couldn't just waltz back into Henry's life and expect to be a ready-made Dad to the boy. There was more to it than that and Neal didn't just have Emma to try and sweet talk round. Regina was Henry's legal guardian, she had made him the child he was and Neal would have to show her the respect she deserved for that.

Out on the fire escape Henry looked out across the city and Neal hunkered down to join him.

"So, you're my Dad."

"Yeah."

"I'm Henry."

"It's nice to meet you Henry." He paused, then added, "I'm sorry it took so long."

Henry allowed him that, "It's OK, you didn't know."

And the easy going trait seemed to be genetic as they feel into a comradery, bantering back and forth and smiling at each other. When they stopped talking the silence was comfortable before one or other of them decided on a new topic and they set off chatting together again.

When Neal and Henry came inside Emma watched the immediate closeness. She knew how easy it was to relax in Neal's company and trust him, she had fallen in exactly the same way and she saw Henry look at him with his eyes full of hope for the future, and she shuddered. She hoped time had changed Neal, made him responsible but she thought it was a vain hope.

Henry came over to her. "Mom we need to talk."

"Ok."

Neal gestured to the kitchenette area and the table there, offering a degree of privacy, before he walked away from them.

Henry looked at her with such disappointment as they sat down and Emma bowed her head. He spoke quietly and openly.

"You see why this is a problem don't you? Mom lied to me, refused to be truthful for months and it has taken a long time for me to rebuild that trust with her. Now I find you lied too, why can't my parents be honest with me?"

"Henry I did it for the best."

"I thought you were better than that, that you were a good person who didn't lie."

"Kid it isn't that simple. I never wanted to hurt you or lie to you, but I needed to tell you something about your father and this was easier than the truth."

"Heroes are meant to do what is right, not what is easy." Emma heard a shadow of her mother in that comment.

"I'm no Hero Kid." And she felt the pressure that sat on her shoulders, the expectation. Break the curse, bring back Happy Endings, save the future. It never ended, even from her own son. He didn't help as he told her, "Yes you are, you're the Saviour!"

She sighed, "I'm only human Henry, and I made a mistake. I'm sorry I lied."

"Ok." But Emma knew it wasn't, he was building a wall just like his brunette mother did, shutting her out because he felt her betrayal and didn't know what else to do. Emma just hoped it would only be a short term thing, but it was going to make the trip back to Storybrooke decidedly uncomfortable.

She left Henry sitting at the table with his thoughts, but it was hard walking away, knowing she had caused this and couldn't immediately put it right. She felt sure Henry would eventually accept her apology but she suspected it would be many years before he was old enough to appreciate why she had done it. It would probably take his own heart being broken before he understood her actions. She found she didn't want him to have to suffer that, if it was the only way he'd understand she would rather he never experienced the pain or gained that comprehension about human behaviour.

With her own heart battered from the last few days, she didn't feel she had the strength to face Neal, but he was there confronting her. And she had to give him credit, he did sound genuine and he wasn't placing the blame at her door.

"Emma I acted badly, we both know I did, but I have a son. And I want to be a father to him. I want to do all the things that my father didn't do for me. I want to play ball with him and take him out for burger and fries. I want to be there to see him grow, I want to be there when he has his first crush and needs dating advice. I want to stand there proudly shouting him on when he has baseball or soccer try outs. I just want a chance here. I didn't abandon him, I didn't know about him and that is very different."

"Would it have made a difference?" Emma was bitterly thinking about her prison time.

"Yeah, I think it might have, but I know what is done can't be erased. I made a mistake, it was a very bad decision to walk away, one I regret even more knowing you had our child while in jail, but I'm not walking away now."

"Ok." She agreed because she didn't have the strength to fight it. She just went to sit in the cool air of the hallway and thought about how things had turned out.

Her head felt like it might explode. How could all of this be happening? Neal and his father both seemed to accept it so easily, seemed to believe in predestined fate. Maybe it was the fairy tale character within them, but Emma was struggling to grasp that she had been in a serious relationship with the son of The Dark One.

That relationship now meant Henry was related by blood to the most manipulative character in his book, the shear embodiment of evil. Admittedly, Neal had been born before he became The Dark One and the magic and darkness wasn't hereditary for which Emma could only be thankful. But still, it was yet more family to deal with. She felt sick when she thought about how Regina would react to that news.

A man who had tried to poison Regina's mind at best, kill her at worst, was now tied to Henry. Emma had already said she didn't like or trust the man, so to find out he was Henry's paternal grandfather was a real blow.

Of course Henry would want to spend time with him now, Henry wanted to bond with Neal and get to know that side of his family which when Neal eventually forgave his father would mean Henry spent time with Gold.

Emma wasn't concerned for Henry's safety with him, he was the most powerful magician and feared universally, no-one would dare cross him, but Emma worried for Henry's curious and trusting character. The more time he spent with the Imp, the more magic, trinkets and talismans Gold would expose him to, because Henry would ask. And it worried Emma.

She knew Henry had a kind heart, but he was also still a young boy. He trusted, believing in his Superpower, could he be corrupted? Would he stumble upon hidden darkness and evil deeds and be captivated? Emma knew that magic was intoxicating and pulled even good people in and she was nervous for her son.

She made sure she was far enough away so she couldn't be heard and she dropped her head into her hands. The tears she cried were of frustration, her life had seemed to finally turn a corner after the curse had broken. She had family, support and she was flirting round the edges of love. Now she knew Snow and Henry were disappointed in her, she felt hollowed out and empty and she had no idea what was going to happen with Regina.

All she knew was that they had to go back to Storybrooke, all four of them and work through it. She didn't feel hopeful anymore.


	20. Cora's Plan

Hi. Another update, hope you might forgive the long wait as I have several chapters almost ready to go.

Enjoy the read, reviews always welcome.

* * *

Regina woke and there was an unfamiliar noise. She lay in bed, dry mouthed, headachy and disorientated and tried to place the sound.

Then she realised, it was the front door bell.

Odd she thought, everyone who would be visiting had left for New York and they certainly wouldn't be back yet. She doubted her Mother would be making a social call, and if she was she doubted her mother would know what a doorbell was as no such things existed in the Enchanted Forest or Wonderland. Mother would either knock if she was in a patient mood or just blow the door open with magic.

Regina remembered her protection spell but doubted the spell covered her Mother, blood ties eclipsing it and then the spell needing to understand the difference between violent and physical intent and the psychological harm Mother inflicted with words and inbuilt malice.

The doorbell rang again, shrill in the quiet of the house. Too quiet, with no Henry padding around his room, watching TV and playing his PlayStation or the sound of him using the bathroom. The quiet didn't last as the bell was rung again, Regina thought the person must have a death wish. To ring her bell once would be acceptable, to keep repeatedly pressing it, she was going to have harsh words, especially at such an early hour of the morning.

As she moved to get out of bed to answer the door she thought she'd have to re-visit the protection spell, but not now. She needed to get rid of the annoyingly persistent person disturbing her hang over.

She got out of bed, ran her hands through her hair so it wasn't so untidy and pulled on her robe. It was then she realised it wasn't as early as she had assumed, she had overslept again and it was nearly half past ten. Maybe she wouldn't shout quiet so badly at the stupid person at the front door, shouting would only make her headache worse, a few sarcastic comments would probably suffice.

Her body felt heavy, it was slow and sluggishly waking up, and she knew it was from the cheap whiskey The Rabbit Hole served. If she had been drinking at home she wouldn't feel this rough, her own personal alcohol being much more expensive and smooth.

She moved quickly down the stairs and pulled open the front door and was surprised to find a nervous looking man in a brown delivery uniform clutching a bunch of rather pretty flowers. His hold was much too tight as his nervousness showed and he kept juggling them from one side of his body to the other so he could rub his sweaty palms against his pants leg.

With each movement he threatened to crush and break the stems, and Regina would have berated him but he quickly thrust them at her and was rapidly walking back down toward the street without speaking a word to her. She watched him go, he wasn't quite running, but it was close.

She knew she should be working on her relationship with the town and should have tried to speak to him, but he was obviously a lost cause, too full of fear to really listen to anything she would have said. Emma and Henry would be disappointed in her, but they weren't there. She closed the door and because her attention had been on the nervous man she didn't see her mother move out of the shadows cast by the trees and shrubbery on the far side of the street.

Cora walked away, musing what suitor her daughter had got herself mixed up with this time. She sighed heavily wondering when Regina would ever learn that love was a lost cause. It just hurt you and she would be better off if she stopped chasing it. Added to the fact her daughter seemed to have questionable taste, she always picked people who were beneath her and were of no benefit.

Despite Regina's views her mother would have welcomed some young men into the family, Princes and noblemen with a direct line of ascension she would have gladly considered as marriage material for Regina. She knew she could have removed key nobility in the way without it looking too suspicious and still have made Regina Queen, but Regina hadn't been ready. She was still rebellious and needed to be broken, she needed to be crushed so she was pliable and did as her Mother told her to.

Cora knew she had hurt Regina far more than she had originally planned to. She realised it when she had locked eyes with her just before she had been cast into the mirror. She hadn't just broken her daughter, she hadn't just made her more compliant and willing. She had destroyed all the goodness inside her, she had ripped apart her dreams and crushed her heart. Her eyes had been blazing fury, they were empty of anything other than hatred and anger.

She knew her mistake, she had assumed the stable boy was a teenage infatuation, that Regina would soon see it wasn't right for her. But that obviously wasn't the way it had been, the look of pure horror on Regina's face as she had held the young man's beating heart and then proceeded to crush it told her there were deeper feelings at play between the two naïve lovers.

And only Cora seemed to think that was dangerous and that those feelings should be reined in and not acted on. Her young and inexperienced child still believed in love and treasuring other people, she had wanted to form unhealthy and dependent relationships and with a stable boy no less. Regina was blinded by love and foolish notions of happy ever afters, she didn't see the problem with relying on other people. She should have been grateful her mother cared, Cora had only been protecting her from the way that love and trust opened you up to be hurt or even attacked.

And as she fell backwards into the mirror, hoping she wasn't being sent into a murky oblivion, she could see there really was only bitterness left inside her daughter, at least for her. And she did regret that, because she had wanted to stand beside her daughter and eventually rise to power and Regina didn't want her there. She had forcibly been removed and that hadn't been part of her plan at all.

As she walked away from the mansion she could only imagine what mess had been created this time, she resolved she would have to keep a closer eye on her daughter.

* * *

Regina stood in her kitchen and read the card. It was in Emma's hand, she'd recognise it anywhere as the penmanship of the sloppy Sheriff and her infuriatingly late submitted reports. Obviously now she wasn't Mayor it had been months since she had had to witness the blonde run in breathlessly clutching a squashed folder and try and make some excuse as to why it was days late, but Regina still remembered the way Emma looked as she rushed in.

It made her wonder how long the pair of them had really been dancing round the issue of something deeper than physical attraction. Yes she had been appraising the woman in an almost primal fashion, but she had also looked forward to the blonde coming in, the opportunity to throw a few barbed comments and unsettle the younger woman. She enjoyed the spark Emma had, there was life flowing from her in every challenging response, she had made Regina at least feel something in the monotony, and Regina now wondered what that something was.

Yes it was sexual, Emma hadn't helped, her choice of clothing, the skin tight denim was made to draw the eye and Regina admitted to herself, her eyes had definitely been drawn, even back then.

But it could have been more than that, had they been building some rocky foundations from the minute the blonde appeared in the dark of the night with Henry? Regina thought of how she assumed it was hatred, fear of her curse being broken and Henry being taken away. The sex when it had started should never have been so satisfying, it should have been a game and Regina usually relished them and won easily. She realised early on that her footing in this game wasn't strong and secure. Was that because she was being undermined by her own hidden feelings?

She had found it so easy to get caught up in her own pleasure and enjoying the company of the woman. She welcomed Emma into her bed more and more often late at night when she should have been planning and scheming or sleeping so she was sharp and focused on manipulating to get her end result.

Regina had done years of meaningless, well everything. And this wasn't meaningless, it resonated within her until it had cracked the shell round her heart. She felt things when Emma was around, it hadn't at the time felt like anything particularly positive, but deep down a small part of Regina was glad the woman had arrived in Storybrooke.

She dropped her eyes to the card again but this time instead of grinding her teeth in frustration at the blonde's poor grammar or tardiness or rambling way of writing an official town report, Regina was treasuring the small piece of card. She was reading it over and over, it was a simple thing but it was more than anyone had done voluntarily for her in a very long time.

She didn't know it, but she had a smile gracing her lips. As she moved to fill the vase with water her eye landed on the clock and her smile evaporated. She realised that unfortunately she couldn't bask in the warm feeling the flowers and the words ignited in her. She had arranged to meet her mother and the morning was quickly disappearing, she needed to get dressed and get to her vault. She placed the vase on the windowsill and thought it looked lovely as the sun touched the petals, Emma had picked a lovely arrangement.

Thoughts of Emma were quickly replaced by thoughts of her Mother which left her feeling cold and despondent. This was the worst part of her duty as daughter, she knew Emma hated being an orphan and in foster care, but sometimes Regina thought she'd rather have been an orphan. Loneliness was tough, being on your own was hard, but dealing with her Mother was harder. At least when it was just her she could behave how she wanted, now she would have to watch every word she spoke and every action she took and make sure it didn't cause offence or anger in the older woman.

Regina even struggled to think of her as Mother. The word was meant to fill you with warmth, remind you of happy times and give you feelings of safety and security. It was the way she tried so hard to be for Henry, to be strong for him, to support and love him.

Her Mother was just so cold and detached. She thought of Snow coming to her door last night to fight for Emma, to defend her daughter and try and protect her. Cora would never have done that, she probably wouldn't even have noticed if Regina was distracted, was struggling, was falling in love, or was miserable. As long as she kept saying the right things, acting in the right way and showing respect then Cora would have been happy and ignored any personal dilemmas or feelings her child might be battling against.

Was Regina jealous of Emma and Snow? And their relationship? It wasn't so much jealousy, she decided she was just a little envious, she wished that just once her mother had made her feel wanted and important. All Regina had ever felt was she was a means to an end, the end being Power for Cora.

She knew Emma disliked the interfering and overbearing way Snow behaved, but Regina could sympathise with Snow who just wanted to love her child like she had been loved by her father.

Regina could look back and see now that some of her hatred of the child Snow had been that she was a loved and wanted child, she was growing up in a warm and caring environment and Regina had been jealous. There were obviously many, many more reasons than that, but as Regina moved further away from The Queen and her obsessive and destructive behaviour she saw more clearly the reasons for her poor choices and disturbing conduct.

She knew she couldn't keep blaming her Mother, she had to take responsibility for her own actions no matter how hard that was. But she couldn't help but think her mother had been massively responsible for setting the foundations and beginning to mould the Evil Queen Monster she had ultimately become.

And Regina didn't think it was too far a stretch to say Cora had helped ruin her life. A life she was only now really beginning to rebuild, one she valued, was even beginning to cherish if her dopey smile over a bunch of flowers could be believed. This life, this second chance she had been given with Henry and Emma, she would fight hard for it and she refused to let her mother upset it all again.

She knew the woman would be waiting for her so she used magic to dress herself and then to magically transport herself to the vault. She felt guilt stir about Henry and her promise, especially as she was about to use more magic today than she had in the whole time since the curse had broken, but she was only doing this to keep her mother from growing suspicious and to continue the façade that she would work with her to reclaim the town. This was needed, and once the threat her mother represented had been neutralised, she was sure Henry would understand the magic use had been for the greater good.

Thinking of how to neutralise her mother made Regina regret her drunken evening. She should have stayed home and planned, thought through scenarios and ways to limit the woman's power and control. Instead Regina had gone out and got hammered and thought of very little until Snow's intervention. Had Snow not arrived she dreaded to think what state she might have got herself into. The only thing she was absolutely certain was she would have staggered home alone. She was devoted to Emma in her own way and she would never have bedded Horace or anyone else while there was any chance of things working out with the blonde.

And just thinking that made her realise how much she was already missing her lover. She wanted her home, back in Storybrooke, even with her Mother on the loose because without her Regina felt incomplete and weaker and that was a bad way to be with Mother scrutinizing her actions and behaviour.

She was in trouble and she knew it, her feelings were as deep if not deeper than those for Daniel and she had destroyed their homeland because of her love for him. What might she do if Emma was hurt or taken from her? Or Henry too, because Henry was as important just in a different way. Henry made her feel like her life had been worth something. She looked at him and was proud, she hadn't failed. Henry justified her existence, gave meaning to the long years she had endured without love and he made her a better person. One she hoped she might eventually find an uneasy peace with and be satisfied with when she looked in the mirror.

* * *

Regina felt sick with worry and with dread. She wanted to go home and ignore the world, hide away and leave her mother to fight her battles without her, to run away. She hated the cowardice that thought illustrated but it still ran through her. To Regina nothing seemed right at the moment and she felt lost. She wished Emma was here, she needed someone desperately to talk to.

As they stood in the graveyard and her Mother disappeared Regina decided she did have one person she could talk to who wouldn't judge her. It wasn't orthodox, but she needed to do this, to start to say goodbye and to finally lay the past to rest.

She crossed the graveyard to a quiet corner, one she had set aside along time ago. It was masked by magic and looked deserted and overgrown, but she knew better. With a flick of her wrist the foliage moved and she was above to see the entrance to an underground chamber.

As she descended the stairs she allowed her mask to slip. She had told her mother all the things she wanted to hear, praised her plan and provided as much information as she knew. She had smiled and laughed and played the part of dutiful daughter and Evil Sorceress but now she was almost alone she let her true feelings show on her face.

She was scared, frightened into a shocked state of inaction. She felt the chill of fear creeping over her skin, the fingers of it caressing her spine before radiating outwards and numbing every part of her. She was struggling to think and to breathe, everything below ground seemed to close round her, the air felt thin and she staggered the last few steps to the glass coffin and lent on it to support her weight before she collapsed.

She looked down at Daniel's lifeless body under the glass and felt the old hurt tear at her heart. He was so young, she wished her mother had just let him live, banished him, erased his memories, anything than this. He didn't deserve to die so young, when his only crime had been to love her.

She knew she was crying but she let the tears fall as she spoke to him. They weren't weakness, they were love and hurt and she knew now that to bottle up something so strong wasn't right, it only damaged and crippled you in other ways.

"I know you'd want me to be happy, I tried so hard to bring you back so we could be happy together but I couldn't. I failed at that but I think I have been given the chance to be happy again and I'm so scared to take it."

"I feel I am being untrue to you, but you've been gone for so many years now. We had hopes and dreams and I think I might finally have realised they have their place, in my head and my heart as memories. They can't come true no matter how hard I tried, how many tears I cried or how much magic I studied. I hope you know I did my best, and can be happy for me if I move on?"

She looked at the peaceful features and wished for just a spark of life. She was certain Daniel would want her to be happy, and Emma was that for her. If they couldn't be together and she had exhausted every avenue and now understood that death was a finality that would always separate them, then surely he would want her to love again. She knew he couldn't answer her, there was no miracle resurrection for their love and she felt the hot tears streak her face and splash onto the fabric of her blouse.

Her voice hitched and became gravelly as she continued to speak.

"I need to be strong and to do something I could never do before. I think I need to kill Mother. And I know she deserves it, just looking down at you should be enough but I still feel hesitant. I hate myself but I still want her to love me, to tell me I was good enough. And if she is dead and gone then that can never happen. It is the ultimate selfishness, because all the while she lives she will hurt people, and my weakness and inaction could lead to countless avoidable deaths."

"I know she is vicious and power hungry, I know she is only here because she saw an opportunity and it has nothing to do with my welfare. Even after the years apart her words are still driven by the desire to belittle me and upset me. She insults you and I wish I had the strength to fight for your memory but she still scares me. I know it is wrong, that I'm fully grown and should stand tall and be proud, that I shouldn't let her cheapen our love with her hurtful comments. I'm so sorry I'm not strong enough, and that I let fear stop me from defending you. I fail you even in death My Love and it upsets and tears at me, I wish things were so very different and I could ignore her remarks and the way she makes me feel."

Regina knelt, resting her head against the cool glass. Her breathing was erratic and it fogged the glass as she exhaled.

"When she attacks me and calls me stupid for daring to love I feel the magic hum round her, I know she is still strong and dangerous. Magic is emotion and I bring hers out, always in a stunted and repressed form because she has no heart, but it is still strong. I think it must be because of the negative quality of the feelings she has about me and the darkness of the magic inside her, it is exactly how I was back in the Enchanted Forest. I know you would be disappointed in me but I lost myself when I lost you. And I did horrendous things, using and abusing magic so I know how the darkness feeds on itself and sucks the life and positivity out of things. It spawns more blackness to extinguish the light in the soul, which in turn fuels the vicious and spiteful thoughts and behaviour. And Mother is the embodiment of that."

Regina took a deep breath, she was baring her soul completely in the still of the small stone room. She hated herself, the only person she hated more was her mother and she knew she was very close to breaking. The last few months had pushed her, punished her body and broken her resolve. She knew she was so very vulnerable, Emma had managed to bring her walls down, walls she had lived with for years, walls that made her strong. She had built them because of her mother, to protect her from the stinging insults and the ingrained nastiness that seeped from her and they had served her well, keeping her safe.

Now she had learned to love again, to open herself up, but it was at the worst possible time with her mother's reappearance. She needed strength and she hoped she had enough left, Emma told her she was strong and she admired her ability to keep going but there were times recently if she hadn't had Henry or Emma there she wasn't sure she wouldn't just have curled up in a ball somewhere public and let the town take out their vengeance on her, finishing the job they had started that fateful night after the curse broke and Rumple brought magic to Storybrooke.

As she sobbed in a broken heap, wishing she could change things but feeling so helpless in the face of it all she carried on talking to her dead lover.

"Mother's pure darkness. She loves the magic, probably more than she ever did me or my poor father. Her aggression, bitterness and hatred for the world all feed on each other and I feel her disappointment in me and her barely contained desire not to lash out and make me conform by using magical restraints or torture. It leaves me drained being with her, always watching her reaction and response, I'm tense from expecting her temper to fray and flare up."

She couldn't stand, she couldn't stop the tears. Everything in her life that had pushed her was in clear and sharp focus in that moment. The endless struggles against her mother, her marriage, the traitorous people of the Enchanted Forest. Fighting Rumple and Mal and always losing even when she thought she had won and got what she wanted. There was always a price and she never seemed to see it until it was too late.

She wondered how things might have been if she had been stronger, if she had tried to run from her mother sooner. She had often thought about it, about the poor choices and she hated that with hindsight she could often see a better way. She thought of the day she had found herself standing on a window ledge hoping ending it all would be a solution, maybe everyone would be better off without her in their lives.

She sobbed brokenly for several minutes, the fear she always had accompanying her had broken through and had her in a straggle hold. Life and its many unfairness's was finally taking its toll. There was very little Regina had ever really wanted in life, but she seemed to forever be reaching and it being pulled away from her. Her whole life had been spent chasing happiness and she was exhausted from it.

And her Mother's new plan terrified her. She literally had no words when Cora had told her what she wanted in this land. Regina struggled for a breath as she gasped out to her fallen love,

"Mother wants to find Rumple's dagger, she wants to become the New Dark One. Can you imagine, she is already so powerful and twisted, think how much worse she'd be if she had The Dark Ones strength and gifts. And I know I need to act now to stop her, before she finds the dagger and becomes unstoppable, I just don't know how."

Another sob broke free and the brunette palmed tears from her wet and stained face.

"I need to think, to be clear minded and rational and all I can feel at the moment is guilt. Guilt about giving our relationship up, feeling so much for Emma when I promised you I'd be yours forever. Then more guilt about killing father and cursing everyone here. Father was so kind and patient with me, he was always hoping I'd return to him and be his little girl. He loved me so much and I betrayed him."

She fisted her hand and brought it down on the glass. Glass enchanted by magic so it didn't break, but it did shake from the force of the blow. Regina's voice cracked, stuttering as she spoke of her beloved father, the one who had stood by her side through everything. He might have let her down and failed to protect her from Cora but she still saw the love shining from his eyes when she closed hers and imagined his face.

She croakingly continued, her voice hoarse from speaking for so long. The crying had left her throat dry and she hadn't noticed how bad it was as she was immersed in the past and in her feelings and trying to find a way through this. The last thing on her mind was replacing the fluids.

"And bringing everyone here, destroying all the happy endings, if I'm honest then not everyone deserved that. Some of the subjects were loyal and good to me. Some of them served me faithfully and although I gave them money and better jobs here in this land they are still far from their homeland and were separated from friends and family. They ended up living a lie for 28 years, because of me and my selfish desires."

She ran a shaking hand through her tousled hair.

"How did it get to this? I know my dreams died with you, but it didn't have to be this way. I look back and am disgusted and repulsed by some of the things I've done. Other people deal with love and loss all the time and don't resort to cold blooded killing. I know I was raised by a murdering manipulator, which didn't set a promising example, but I didn't have to follow in her footsteps. I didn't have to become a copy of her, all bitterness and destruction. And Daniel I wish I didn't but I still love her, despite her flaws. Maybe part of me sees myself mirrored there and if she can behave like that and still be loved by someone, then there might still be hope for me? Given time and love maybe she could change? Like I began to when Henry came into my life? There is so much conflict within me, I don't know what to do and I feel torn apart."

Regina thought about Henry and his smile, how she had held his hand as he learned to walk and she had patiently spoon feed him in his high chair. She thought back to her own childhood, it had been her father who had helped her, but more often servants, maids and nannies. Anyone rather than her mother. She had remained completely hands off raising her child until Regina had learned to walk and talk and could then understand the instructions her mother issued. Instructions issued from a distance, cold and detached.

Regina thought what would happen if Cora met Henry, would he melt her heart as he had Regina's? She knew the answer, no. Her Mother wasn't interested in the love of an eleven year old boy. She would see him as an inconvenience, or as a pawn to bargain over, not the individual, intelligent and beautiful young man he was.

Her gut reaction yesterday had been right, she needed to keep Henry and Emma away from her Mother. It was the safest option and it highlighted to the brunette that she couldn't trust her Mother with the things she valued. She needed to accept that some people were beyond help, and beyond change. Deep down she knew it, but she still felt deep emotions gnaw at her and unbalance the control she was trying to hold onto.

She breathed out so quietly, "I feel completely irrational guilt about Mother's blood being on my hands. She gave me life, and I am talking about taking hers away from her. I know it is foolish, I can recognise that she is dangerous and I am doing this to protect Henry, Emma and myself as well as the town. But it hurts in a way I don't understand, I don't know how she affects me so even after so many years."

"But you are gone and can't help tell me what to do. So I guess I'm alone, as I always seem to have been when it mattered most. I can talk some things over with Snow, but they will be logistical. I could never speak to her like I have here with you and I miss that so much. I still miss you every day, but I think I have found someone who wants me and loves me as much as you did. I spent years thinking that was impossible and now I need to believe I deserve it and to find the strength to defend them and keep them safe. I can't fail again, not like I did with you. I hope you understand Daniel, I hope you will forgive me for letting you go. You were my everything, but I need to live again and I can't while I'm tied to the remnants of our dead relationship. I promise you will forever be in my heart, I will never forget how you made me feel and the strength of your love."

She kissed her fingertips and brushed them over the glass, knowing she should take down the magic and stop the preservation spell but not quite being ready just yet. Her heart was bruised enough.

She reasoned she should do one thing at a time, she needed to deal with her Mother first. Once she had done that she would have time to dispose of her dead lover. She didn't want to rush it and she knew Daniel wasn't going to disappear. She hated the word "dispose" but there wasn't any point in sugar coating it. Whatever she called it his body would still be gone, her last tie to her old life before everything changed.

She eventually found the strength to stand, she magically brought herself a glass of water and her sore throat welcomed the cool and quenching liquid. She refreshed her makeup, hiding the blotchy finish crying had left behind and as she stood at the doorway and looked back she whispered, "Thank you for listening. For being here when I needed it."

Her heels clicked on the marble steps as she ascended into the fresh air and she took a few ragged breathes to clear her head and calm her heart that was still tender and delicate. She ought to go and see Snow, she shouldn't waste any more time over this so she pulled her coat closer round her to keep out the chill that seemed to have settled on her. It didn't help warm her at all, but she held her head high and acted as if everything was perfectly normal. No-one except someone who knew her well would have any idea at her inner turmoil, she had set her face and features into her mask and she resolutely walked away.

Unfortunately someone who knew her very well indeed stood in the shadows watching. Cora crossed to the burial chamber and quickly descended, wondering who Regina still visited.


	21. On the Hunt

Welcome the followers and faithful - I am grateful you have stuck with me.

Shorter chapter today, but the next one is almost ready and is more involved.

* * *

Regina had had a restless night and as the alarm went off signalling she had to get up and get ready to meet her mother she sighed. She didn't think she had slept at all, it seemed to be harder in her empty bed.

She also hadn't taken much comfort from visiting Snow and kept replaying the events of yesterday. She had been exhausted from dealing with her Mother and Emma's parents, and yet sleep had eluded her. Shifting from under the cover her body felt heavy, it was the use of magic taking its toll as she was transporting herself and casting spells with her mother. She needed to clear her head and find her focus. She would need much more magic in the coming days and dwelling on the past wasn't helping her. Still she thought back to the fragile truce she had formed and hoped it was stronger than it appeared because very soon it would get tested.

Yesterday she had dutifully gone to the loft apartment as she had promised Snow she would. Charming had warily let her in, he had appraised her and made it abundantly clear as he stepped aside that this was against his better judgement. She had walked in with her head held high, her heels clicking on the wooden floor. When she stopped an uneasy silence hung in the air. They all stood watching each other, tense and uncomfortable. Regina was about to decide this was a mistake when Snow pulled out a chair and asked her, "Do you still take your tea with camomile?"

She nodded as Snow went over to the kitchen area and poured the hot water into cups. She returned and placed the cup by the chair, indicating Regina should sit.

It all felt decidedly odd, and she clamped her hands round the mug to stop them fidgeting. She was royalty, a Queen, why was this so difficult? She was used to throwing insults at the far too happy couple, and yet now they knew about Emma she felt she needed to behave around them and set a reasonable example. She wanted to show them she could do polite and restrained and Emma's faith wasn't misplaced.

More than that she wanted them to forgive Emma for lying, hiding things from them and to understand. Part of her knew she shouldn't give a damn what Snow and Charming thought of her, she was with Emma and Emma's acceptance was all that mattered, and yet these were Emma's parents. Emma cared about them, and Regina didn't want to be the reason she was anxious or uncomfortable round them. She wanted things to be as normal as they could be, when you added sleeping curses, blackmail, kidnap, matricide and attempted murder it was a tall ask but she would try, for Emma.

"How are you?" Snow tried the social approach. She studied the brunette and had an idea Regina had been crying, she didn't know why, it was just something in the way she looked. She recognised it from a time when she was too young to understand but now she thought back Regina had spent a large amount of her time in her father's castle hiding tears.

Snow didn't understand why, she had been so happy there as a child, but Regina had obviously not been and Snow had been oblivious. She wasn't now, but her concern was cut short as Regina answered briskly.

"I'm fine. I saw Mother earlier." Her tone told Snow she wasn't welcome to pursue whatever she thought she had seen.

"And?" Charming had his arms crossed and was leaning back in his chair watching the woman. He had none of Snow's softness, he radiated hostility. He had allowed her into their space but he wasn't welcoming. He was the one who was all business, he wanted information, and he would tolerate Regina only as long as she was of use to him.

"She wants Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. She wants to become the Dark One."

Charming laughed deeply, before catching the look on his wife's face.

"Oh come on, she won't succeed." He shook his head at both women who were watching him with a degree of incredulity on their faces. "She won't. Gold is the most devious and power hungry person we know, he'd never endanger himself and leave the dagger laying around."

"Mother can be very…." Regina searched for the right word, she settled on, "driven. She is also compulsive and obsessive and as devious as Gold. He trained her, so they think in a similar vein, she has a good chance of finding something he has hidden."

"I suppose you're helping her?" David pinned her with a determined stare.

"Yes I am. I can't have her suspicious of me, so I will help her look. I can slow her down, distract her and lead her down a few dead ends to buy us time. I hope I can stall her long enough until Gold comes back."

"And we're to believe you and not interfere? How convenient." Charming was blatantly disrespectful to her, his tone mocking with sarcasm dripping from his words.

She had to take a breath not to slap the expression from his face. Assaulting Emma's parents probably wouldn't earn her any brownie points.

"I am here telling you aren't I? Doesn't that indicate a show of trust?" Regina tried to argue logically with him, despite thinking he was too arrogant for lowly shepherd. He had fallen on his feet, fate had smiled on him when it had orchestrated his becoming a Prince. Whatever it was, luck or destiny that had handed him the opportunity she didn't know, but he hadn't been forced to work for it like she had. And despite how unfair she thought it all, she had shown him respect and spoke civilly, trying to rise above his combative attitude. It irked her that he couldn't do the same, but then she reasoned it was probably the peasant blood running through his veins.

"Maybe this is all a smoke screen to hide what you are really doing?" Charming attacked again and Snow rose and placed her hand on his arm.

Regina stoned her face and became very still, watching him. He spoke like it was his right, commanding and demanding, and the Town loved him for it. They all seemed to have forgotten his humble roots but Regina didn't. He might be married to a Princess, but that didn't make him any better or more experienced than she was to rule over the peasants.

"David, Regina is here freely and she didn't have to tell us of Cora's appearance at all. We need to trust her a little over this otherwise this whole situation falls apart."

There was a meaningful look between them and Charming took a breath which he held before blowing through his lips. After a beat of silence he stated,

"I can't make it clearer," David uncrossed his arms and leaned forward on the table. He locked his gaze at the older woman sitting opposite him. "I don't trust you. I am doing this for Emma and the Town. And if you double cross us, I swear you'll be sorry." His gaze travelled to his sheathed sword, lying just out of reach.

Snow looked apologetically at her Ex-Step mother, who smiled grimly back. She tried to be The Mayor, using diplomacy rather than violence and attack. Her magic was reacting to her mood, it hated being repressed and wanted to show David his place. She pushed it away with some effort. She thought of Emma and Henry and she was able to find her balance, her control. She held his gaze as she explained,

"I can't make you trust me David, not overnight and time is something we don't have. I understand your mistrust, in your situation I'd be equally reserved. But I care for Emma and Henry and they are why I am here. They mean everything to me, and all I'm asking from you is to keep them safe."

"They are our family, of course we'll keep them safe."

Regina felt he was implying they weren't safe with her, that she wasn't related by blood and wasn't true family to either Emma or Henry. Her magic flared and she fought against it. Charming was baiting her, they all knew Henry was her son as much as Emma's. She didn't know what she had with Emma but it felt real and true. Regardless of Charming's opinion and the lack of blood ties she knew she was important to Henry and his blonde mother. Charming just didn't know it yet and Regina knew it wasn't her place to tell him. Emma needed to come home and explain to her parents, so she side stepped that discussion and continued,

"David, Mother is as dangerous as Gold, you don't have to believe me, ask your wife. You need to promise me, whatever happens and however it looks, don't allow Emma to get involved between Mother and I. I will deal with her, I just need some time."

"You want us to stand by and do nothing?" David shook his head. "No way. We can't do that."

"Don't force Mother's hand David. All the while she is not an open threat she is best left alone. Confronting her head on never ends well. Give me a few days, that's all. Let me investigate, accompany her, and I will report back to you. If you attack her now we lose the only advantage we have."

"You are asking for a hell of a lot, when less than 8 months ago you were framing my wife for murder."

"Framing her for murder is better than trying to murder her." Regina smiled smugly at him and David rolled his eyes.

Snow interjected again, the calm one between the two of them. She was trying to diffuse a rapidly escalating situation, soothing her husband and offering trust to Regina. She had a job, David seemed hell bent on riling the older woman and projecting aggression. Snow was sure he thought he was being protective, but it wasn't helping. In Snow's opinion Regina was being remarkably calm, she could have thrown a fireball by now but she didn't. She sat still, obviously struggling to keep quiet and in control of her temper and Snow sensed she was uncomfortable with their company but she sipped at her tea like this was a usual gathering and refrained from insulting her hosts.

Snow spoke, "David we need to move on. I can forgive Regina for that, a few sleepless night in jail didn't hurt me."

Snow rubbed his arm and he unclenched his fist. Regina watched a whole conversation pass silently between them with looks and pursed lips, rolls of the eyes and raised eyebrows. She saw the change on Snow's features and knew she was thinking of Emma, it was something in the way her face softened and her eyes glistened, brightly sparking at the thought of family reunited. And she was trying to get David to see that they needed to show some trust for Emma's sake. That if Emma believed in Regina and her redemption they needed to support their daughter and take the first step, showing some trust to the woman sat in their apartment.

It was ironic that in the determined set of Charming's face Regina could see the family resemblance, she could see similarities with Emma. Her lover's stubborn attitude and strong belief came from her father and she wanted to smile. Instead she sat quietly as Snow caught her watching them. David begrudgingly nodded and Snow released his arm.

"Come by tomorrow and update us?" Snow asked and Regina took it as her dismissal. She nodded curtly and left, feeling decidedly unsettled. She felt it had been a test, but she wasn't at all sure she had passed. She was standing on unknown ground, she rarely formed alliances and if she did it was with morally questionable people who she had no attachment to and could always kill or punish for failure. She was always the dominate party, she knew what she wanted and through cruelty, blackmail or manipulation got what she wanted. She knew she couldn't do that here, she wasn't even in charge, she had had to conform and treat the two idiots as equals despite her better judgement.

The situation was decidedly odd and left her feeling uneasy and it had then bothered her all night. She hated feeling accountable to them, and she hated that Emma might feel she hadn't done enough. She was risking so much, her mother's wrath and probably her life if she was caught and Charming in particular wasn't even grateful. It grated on her and she had failed to be able to push it to the back of her mind and sleep.

Now she was going to meet her mother and she was tired and knew she had to be so very careful. If she lost her patience, her temper, her façade then everything would crumble. She needed to bit her tongue and continue to think on her feet, trying to predict and placate her Mother.

She got up and washed, pulling on smarter clothes than she had been wearing more recently. She knew Mother would be judging and that her appearance was an important part of that. She hated that her mother was seeping into every part of her life, and it had only been 2 days. She had started eating less because Mother tended to drop snide and sharp barbs about weight gain. She was acutely aware of her appearance, her behaviour, her speech and was having to put extra thought into all of it now.

Watching her reflection in the mirror she knew it would have to do. Even if she was pleased and thought she had done well to cover the circles under her eyes, Mother was bound to pick up on something and draw attention to her failure. With resignation she pulled at her magic and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

* * *

Regina and Cora regrouped in the dim dawn light of the morning, before anyone in Storybrooke woke and could see their illicit behaviour. They were both alert and watchful, magic singing in their veins to stun a nosey passer-by or cloak themselves with invisibility but they didn't need that as there was no-one else out in the morning chill. They moved quickly and with very little conversation, both of them knew what they were looking for. Cora was hopeful they would soon come across some sign of the dagger, and they began their search starting with the obvious places the devious Imp would hide it.

With him gone it wasn't hard to break into his shop and cast a net that would capture any magical signature, but they came away empty. The dagger didn't appear to be hidden there, which Regina realised was probably why there was very little magic protecting the shop. However as Cora looked more closely at the shop and its trinkets she did notice that the shop wasn't quite the dank and dark pit of obsession she had first assumed it to be when she arrived 2 days ago. She had only given the surroundings a cursory look that day, but now she was studying it she realised the place had a warmer feel than she expected from the Imp. She noticed the flowers on the counter top and the dust free surfaces.

"Regina who does Rumple employ to give the place a woman's touch?"

"No-one Mother, he is far too thrifty to employ someone. Why do you ask?"

"The flowers, the scented polish. The clear glass and the placing of some of these items. They all tell me a woman helps him. Who is she?"

Regina thought back to the imprisonment of Belle, in the Enchanted Forest and then 28 years locked away from everyone, and now she was about to damn the poor woman again. She couldn't lie, Mother would find out regardless, so she told her but promised to herself she would stay by her Mother's side and do her best to reduce the pain she inflicted on Rumple's love.

"Her name is Belle, she is Rumpelstiltskin's lover."

An odd look graced her mother's features before she shelved it. Regina was impressed, whatever feeling had been bothering her mother was completely gone. When Regina tried that it was an act, the feelings still ate at her. Her mother was able to compartmentalise and focus clearly on the task at hand. And impressed as Regina was, she knew it made her mother more dangerous. She wasn't bound by emotions, guilt and regret didn't eat at her so she behaved without a conscience.

Cora asked, "Does he trust her?"

"He would kill for her." Regina thought of the poisonous vial, that it was because of her treatment of Belle he had reacted so strongly.

"She knows something, she is the key. Where is she?"

Regina had to ensure Belle was safe, so she used the only advantage she had. "She lives with Gold, and I'm sure he has protected the house, much better than this shop. Mother we need to tread carefully. We can't remove Belle, people will notice. She is the town librarian and Ruby has taken the girl under her wing. A disappearance would be counter-productive to our plan, it would alert people and cause suspicion. We can't ask her or use persuasion. We need to use stealth and figure this out."

Thankfully Cora seemed happy with this approach and nodded, so they exited the shop and locked it back up so no-one would know they had been there. Sunlight was filtering through the air and burning off the chill as the sun crept up in the sky and Regina knew soon people would begin to circulate. They would be buying their newspapers and getting fresh bread for breakfasts, or embracing the pleasant early morning to jog or walking their dogs. She didn't want to be seen in the town and definitely not with her mother. People were wary enough of her on her own, let alone if she was seen with an older woman who was a stranger, it would only cause panic and questions.

She focused her magic and took them to her garden, where it was private and secluded and they could talk unhindered. She didn't want to invite her mother in, she had removed any trace of Henry and Emma, the handmade gifts Henry brought home from school and the photos had been hidden away, but she still didn't want her mother in her house. She felt her mother had encroached far enough into her life, she just wanted somewhere calm and peaceful that was solely hers.

So she stood on the back porch, her back to the window as she looked out on her garden and let her mother lecture her about tending the flowers and digging the soil over herself. She nodded as she was told how "beneath her" it was and then nodded some more as Cora talked about her plans when she had the dagger. Plans for suffering and punishment and then crossing realms to inflict that suffering and punishment on a new set of people.

Regina just nodded numbly, not caring but doing her best to appear like she did. There was a time when all she wanted was power and respect, just like her mother described. But now, all she wanted was a good meal and an evening to unwind with the 2 people she loved. She craved a quiet life with conversation, relaxed company, and the warmth of feeling wanted. That was what she desired more than anything but her mother would never understand so she hid it from her and smiled when her mother said, "Soon Regina it will all be ours."

Regina saw her mother's gaze swing to the window and remain locked there. It was the flowers that had caught her eye and with a smile that filled Regina with dread she commented. "Those are pretty, did you pick them yourself?"

It was something in the tone that alerted Regina. Her Mother never took an interest, and the smile was too big and false. Regina could easily lie and tell her mother that yes, she had picked them, but she sensed a trap.

"No." Regina said and left it there, waiting.

"So someone gave them to you Dear?"

"Yes." Regina knew this was not going to help, her mother obviously wanted something, perhaps it would be easier to get it over with.

"A lover?" Her mother queried and Regina knew the sweetness she was aiming for in her voice, an interested mother looking out for her daughter. She failed, Regina had no intention of sharing anything personal with the older woman.

"A friend." Regina told her.

"Do you really need friends? As Queen you can take a husband, but you know ruling is lonely. Friends can be dangerous Regina, sharing information with them can allow them to undermine your authority. I hope you are being prudent with this friend." There was the hint of insinuation on the final word but Regina ignored it.

"Yes Mother, always." She didn't hesitate to tell the woman what she expected to hear.

"They can't be particularly close to you, the flowers are cheap."

Regina knew her mother was fishing for information, baiting her when the direct approach had failed. She said nothing, hoping that would end the conversation and her mother's interest would dissipate.

Cora stopped and looked at her daughter. Regina held herself very still and kept her head high, meeting her mother's eyes. She waited for the attack she was certain was coming.

"You have mellowed and become soft. The Evil Queen I heard tales of didn't need empty gestures like those" She indicated the window with distain clear on her face. "She didn't need support or friendship. All of it is weakness, which you well know, love being the greatest weakness of all."

And despite being tired Regina listened to her Mother's tirade, as she put her daughter down and told her she was foolish for trusting others, for wanting things she could never have. She held tightly onto her temper and when her Mother had finished she just agreed and apologised for disappointing the older woman. She had wanted to defend herself but she was aware all the while she was subservient she was still useful to Cora. All the while she let her mother dish out abuse and she didn't respond she couldn't incriminate herself or mention Henry or Emma so she allowed for it despite the attacks becoming more vicious with each passing day.

To calm the situation Regina asked her mother to sit on the swing while she made them tea, going into the kitchen and busying herself for a few minutes allowed the younger woman to take a few deep breaths and renew her mask. When she came out with a tray correctly set with two cups sitting in saucers, a sugar bowl and milk jug as was befitting of a lady of her mother's station she hoped her mother had moved on from the probing and insults.

They sat in the early morning sun and discussed the next part of the plan, Regina very aware of her posture and how she held the cup, sipping delicately and hoping her Mother would leave soon, she was getting a headache. They agreed the next place to search would be Gold's house, but that they needed to time it perfectly. Even cloaking themselves might not work and it expended large amounts of magic, so they needed more information.

Regina agreed to let her Mother deal with any spells Gold had placed on the property he shared with Belle. Her Mother could walk past and sense how powerful the magic emanating from the house was. She could even stop and double back, no-one knew who she was and they were unlikely to challenge her as she wandered up and down the sidewalk a few times getting a feel for the magic Rumple had put in place. She could then go to the vault and work on a counter spell to allow them to access the property. It didn't have to be strong enough to dispel the protection, just clever enough to slice a path through it so they could get into the house and search.

As Cora disappeared Regina breathed a deep sigh of relief and rubbed her fingertips over her temples to try and dispel the pain. Hopefully she had until it got dark to rest and recover until she had to deal with her Mother again. She still needed to tell Snow something, maybe she could get away with a text message? She decided that was pushing things but she knew her Mother was suspicious and could well follow her to Snow's apartment. She settled on a mobile phone call, that was something Mother would struggle to understand, let alone be able to intercept.

* * *

They waited for it to get dark before they joined each other to following Belle. They were waiting for the opportunity for her to be occupied and away from the house and didn't have to wait long as she soon drew the curtains and then they watched her lock the front door and walk down the pathway to the street.

She turned left from the house and headed to Granny's where they watched her sit and order dinner for herself. She was obviously lonely without Gold to keep her company and Regina knew she would take her time eating the meal so she could enjoy the company of the other patrons, especially Ruby who seemed to have formed an unlikely friendship with the bookworm.

Certain they wouldn't be disturbed Cora used magic to transport them both to the house Belle shared with Gold and they began searching it.

It didn't take long to come across a piece of paper buried at the bottom of a clothes drawer. It was out of place and by its concealed nature Regina knew it was important. The paper was quite new, it was folded crisply and hadn't any frayed edges indicating it had sat in the drawer for several weeks. Regina was certain it was only a few days since the numbers had been inscribed and she recognised them as a book reference. They continued looking but nothing else seemed to be out of place or of any interest so they left the house to go to the library and follow up the book reference.

Standing before the book shelves Regina looked over the spines of the books, working out the recording system so she could locate the one they were looking for.

With conviction she said, "He would only entrust the dagger to Belle, and she would have hidden it in one of her beloved books."

"Impressive Regina." And part of her damaged heart leapt at the praise, while another part shuddered.

She knew the answer though, to continue to play the part, "Thank you Mother." And she let real emotion colour the statement because part of her had longed to hear something positive for so long. They hadn't got the dagger, and Regina was frantically hoping they wouldn't get it, that Belle was clever enough not to leave something so dangerously powerful sitting unattended in a deserted library. But Cora could see progress and was happy about it, and Regina hoped she would continue to be pleased because while things were going in the right direction her mother might not see the double cross Regina was carefully constructing.

She crossed the room to another bookcase and scanning the shelves she came to an empty space where the book she expected should sit.

"No. It should be here." Regina let the disappointment filter into her voice.

Her mother pushed the books aside and pulled something out of the gap. She smiled as they opened the paper and came across a map. It was simple with only a few places illustrated, it wasn't a typical map and with a quick scan Cora's sunny disposition turned sour and she snarled at her daughter.

"This is no good, the devious little man has tricked us. I can't read that" and she practically spat the word while indicating the paper before her.

Regina reacted quickly, placating her mother. "I'm familiar with the town and surrounding area, let me look at it properly. After some studying I'm sure I can make sense of it. Give me a chance to do this Mother."

Cora just nodded curtly, spinning on her heel and disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Regina took a deep breath, sure once her mother had calmed down she would be back. The younger woman just hoped she would have something positive to tell her, she knew the price of failure and she didn't want to test her mother's magic just yet. Regina hoped she was right as she took the map and left the library. She did know the town best, she had built it and she was certain she could decipher it. She just hoped her mother would give her time, but she knew her patience was wearing thin.

Knowing she needed to work quickly she moved down Main Street, feeling that time was against her. She was trying to stall her mother and it was a fine line she was treading between buying time and giving her mother enough incentive to continue to allow Regina to help her. She hoped she was playing it right, that her mother wouldn't tire of the slow progress but she was very aware it might not be enough.

* * *

Emma unlocked the apartment and threw her holdall down. Henry trudged in wearily behind her. Today had been hard, there was a hostile feeling hanging thickly in the air and it was affecting all four of the travellers.

Neal didn't want to be there with his father, but he had paid for his flight ticket so he had to recognise that and be civil. They had hardly spoken since the arguments in the apartment in New York but even the silence they sat in was tense and stifling. Added to that he was annoyed with Emma for keeping the news about his son from him, so he sat with Henry and they talked about Neal's past.

Henry was still angry at Emma and wanted to bond with his father so he wasn't speaking to Gold in a show of solidarity.

Gold was quietly scheming and plotting another way to show Baelfire he had changed and was worthy to be his father again. He also still blamed Emma for trying to deceive him and he knew better than to try and speak to Henry.

And Emma didn't want Neal there but she knew Henry did so she kept away, frightened she'd lose her temper and tell Neal exactly what she thought of him. She tried to give them some privacy and not to listen to the things he was telling Henry, she just hoped they weren't lies to impress the kid. She'd hear the two of them laughing and she cringed inside. Even if Neal was genuine, he had a long way to go to win back Emma's trust and she wanted him to know it, which added to the stagnant and uncomfortable environment.

So she sat on her own because she still hated Gold, she didn't want to speak to him even if they were now related by some sick twist of fate. It all meant that the atmosphere had been far from pleasant from the moment they left New York together to getting out of the car outside her apartment minutes ago.

And the strained environment had taken its toll on Emma, she was tired and snappy. Henry went straight upstairs and she just stood with her shoulders slumped and watched him go. She didn't know what to say to him anyway.

She went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, settling down on the sofa and trying to think of a plan. She needed to see Regina, to tell her about this. Not tonight, she needed to be fresh and awake and give this her full attention. She wasn't in the right frame of mind now.

First thing in the morning she'd send Henry upstairs to see his Grandparents and she'd go and see Regina. She reluctantly dragged herself to her room and crawled under the covers. She hoped when she woke the headache that had been with her since Neal had told her he was coming to Storybrooke might have eased.


	22. Returning Home

Next instalment as promised.

Mature again, please use your discretion.

Enjoy the read and thanks for the comments so far.

* * *

Emma was nervous, she had clammy palms and she felt sick. She had left Storybrooke with hope, she was paying her debt to Gold and she was looking forward to coming back and finally being honest with Regina, about Regina.

She had made up her mind to try and build a future as a family that included the brunette, as well as Henry and her parents. She had been carrying round the guilt about the deception for too long, been sneaking around and lying and not being true to herself or Regina. They both deserved to be happy, even if it upset other people, and Regina deserved more than to be Emma's dirty secret. They needed to go public, and Emma had promised herself as she left the small town that things would change when she came back.

And change they had, just not in any way she had expected.

She never thought she'd see Neal again, but there he was, alive and well and wanting to be the Father figure in Henry's life that Rumpelstiltskin had never been to him.

And Emma had to tell Regina. Tell her that Henry's father had turned up and wanted to be an active part of his life, tell her that her old flame and ex-lover was back in her life.

Emma knew her feelings for Neal had moved on, but she doubted Regina would accept that so easily. She might not be The Evil Queen but she was still passionately jealous and easy to upset and Emma knew this turn of events was more than a little upsetting. It could undermine the last few months, the steps forward, the bonding.

Emma was passionate about Regina, she knew now that she wanted to be with her, but she knew the likelihood was Regina would question that. The brunette was vulnerable and insecure underneath the bravado and Emma knew if she felt threaten she would probably lash out. Neal being back would be perceived as a threat and Emma was now the easiest and nearest target and really, Emma wouldn't blame Regina for having her doubts. For months they had been sneaking around, Emma had been lying to everyone, Henry and her parents included, so she could see why Regina might struggle to believe her feelings for Neal were dead and buried. She hadn't exactly acted like Regina was important to her, she had hidden the fact they were developing a relationship, kept denying it was anything more than friendship.

Emma knew part of her reluctance to admit she was in a relationship was fear of embracing love, becoming dependant on someone else, bringing closer another person who could hurt you if they left. But she knew that wasn't fair and that she was getting the best of both worlds – time with Henry, a friend in Regina, good sex and none of the strings of a relationship or the stress of dealing with her parents disapproval. Ultimately it couldn't continue like that and it wasn't fair to Regina or Henry or her parents and Emma was aware that it was a mixed message she had sent Regina. You are a good fuck, but not good enough to be my partner. She hadn't meant to send that message, but she could see how the brunette might perceive her actions.

And now, because Emma had hesitated and wasted time deciding what she wanted there was the added complication of someone else. She hated it but she knew Snow and Charming would welcome Neal into the family, he was a man who could produce another heir, there was no hint of Evil or magic about him and the fact he was Henry's father would seal the deal in her parents' eyes. They'd be expecting a joyous reunion, after Neal had grovelled about abandoning Emma in prison of course.

She could just see it now, him giving his reasons and Snow and Charming defending his actions because like them, Neal had believed in the world of fairy tales and had left Emma because of his belief in someone's word and that was an easy mistake in their eyes. Emma didn't want any of that, but she could see why Regina might think she did and react badly.

And Emma remembered the bitterness of the feud about sharing Henry when she had arrived in town. She could only imagine what Regina would say about having to share him with a third person, possibly a fourth as it was now clear that Gold was his Grandfather. Regina didn't do sharing well, but Henry wanted to spend time with his new family and Emma hoped she would understand his behaviour and grudgingly accept that the circumstances were out of her control. She hated that she had to be the one to tell the older woman, she knew it would upset her greatly and she thought back to the flowers she had sent, the words so true. She thought about the goodbye kiss, so much unspoken and if this went badly then it would now remain unspoken.

But now there was no more time, she stood at the front door and knew she had to go through with this. She wearily raised her hand and knocked hard.

Emma wasn't certain what she had expected when Regina opened the door. She had expected at least a smile, she had expected to be missed. She could still feel the memory of the woman coming against her lips and the lingering way they had kissed goodbye, and she had left 3 days ago cherishing those memories so to be greeted with a scowl and quickly pulled inside as Regina slammed the door shut and stormed off into the kitchen wasn't quite the way Emma imagined the reunion.

As Emma stood uncertainly in the doorway of the kitchen she noticed the hasty redecoration that had taken place. There was a sheet thrown over the big mirror in the hallway and the photos on Regina's sideboard had disappeared. So had the canvas of her and Henry she had hung several weeks ago.

Regina looked harassed as she paced the kitchen and Emma knew something big had happened in the last 3 days because this wasn't normal. She knew telling Regina about Neal had become much harder, a tired and stressed brunette was much closer to The Evil Queen, she lacked any patience and was more easily aggravated and Emma cursed inside.

Part of her wanted to walk away, to leave the conversation for another day, but she knew that wasn't an option. Henry would tell his brunette mother if Emma didn't and this was something she knew needed to come from her. Emma knew she had lied to the brunette and despite it being innocently enough, she felt sick about it. She clearly remembered saying, "You don't have to worry about Henry's father." Now they both had to worry about him and deal with building him into an unsteady and fledgling relationship they were struggling themselves to cope with and understand. Adding another person and having to think about his desires and Henry's needs could well overbalance the precarious situation Emma and Regina were tentatively trying to explore together.

"Are you going to sit down Miss Swan?" Regina snapped, hating herself for it but not being able to calm the storm of emotions inside her. She wanted so desperately to pull the woman close, to kiss her and whisper how much she needed a friend to talk to and confide in. However for everyone's good she was going to have to push her away and ignore what she wanted and needed.

Again.

And that was what upset her the most. Sacrifice was a never ending constant in her life and the unfairness of it made her angry and bitter. But she would sacrifice, because Henry and Emma needed to remain safe, they were more important than her dreams and desires, as long as they were safe Regina could live with herself and eventually sleep at night, knowing she had made the right decision.

Emma just stood there, and watched. She was battling her own demons, and didn't trust herself to stay calm after the last few days. She had had a massive shock, learned more about why she had served time in prison and been abandoned by her then lover, and it brought back all the mixed up feelings from 11 years ago of feeling inadequate because of Neal's betrayal and that she wasn't worthy of love or capable of being a mother. Added to that the fact that Henry was decidedly frosty after he found out his father wasn't dead after all and that Emma had been lying to him about it, she really needed a friend to talk to and Regina obviously wasn't in the mood for pleasant chit chat.

Finally Emma couldn't bite her tongue anymore, "Hello might have been nice."

"I don't have time for Hello. In fact I don't have time for you. Where is Henry?"

"At the loft with Snow and Charming. Regina, there is something I really need to tell you."

"There is something I really need to tell you too." Snapped the brunette, ignoring the slight pleading quality she heard in the blonde's voice. She couldn't get caught up in any emotional exchanges, she had to get Emma and Henry to promise to stay away until her mother was dealt with.

"Do you want to go first?" Emma offered, thinking it would buy her a bit of time to consider how to word things.

"After months of being ignored and left to my own devices I had a visitor come calling the day you left town." Regina began. She continued to pace and Emma wanted to cross the room and grasp her by the upper arms and still her, but she sensed Regina didn't want any contact and stayed put, leaning heavily on the door frame.

Emma dreaded what she was going to be told. Had Snow decided to pay Regina a visit and renew the old adversities? Was it Ruby trying to be the good and protective friend? Was it some twisted person from the old world with an axe to grind who had been waiting for their opportunity and grasped it once Emma had left town. Emma had told the brunette that wouldn't happen, that the town was trying to forgive and move on, but maybe she had been wrong.

Emma waited feeling more and more unsettled, it added to the sick feeling but her nervousness was eclipsed by true surprise when Regina continued,

"It was my Mother. Wanting a reconciliation of sorts. It was mostly lies and smoke screen, and after years of hoping and wishing she'd change I think I am finally old enough to see her behaviour for what it was. It wasn't a reconciliation, she hasn't changed. It was a plan for her to use me and my magic to gain power here. But I needed to tread carefully, angering her as you know, is never a good thing. So I have been trying to maintain a growing and respectful relationship with her, not letting her know I see her lies for what they are this time."

Regina looked up at Emma who was staring straight at her.

"I thought she was gone?" Emma knew the horrific things Cora had done, most of it in the name of loving her only child, claiming to only be doing it for Regina's own good. She understood Regina's clear agitation, it must have been a huge shock and Emma knew the brunette was only just getting over her last brush with the past, this new development couldn't be helping her move on.

"Gone? Yes she was. It appears she got bored in Wonderland."

"Has she got magic? Has she done anything other than talk to you?"

"Yes she has magic, and with every minute she stays here she will be using it, learning the feel of it in this world. She'll be exploring the extent she can exert herself and what she can accomplish here. And if you mean has she used magic on me, to hurt me, then no, at present all she has done is talk to me. She needs my help in her plan, but what she is doing and who else she is manipulating and hurting after she leaves me, I dread to think."

"She is why you have covered the mirrors?"

"Yes. It might be in vain, I don't know how long she was here before she decided to pay me a visit and what she was able to see." Regina took a breath and ran her hand through her hair. Emma noticed it wasn't quite as perfect as usual, Regina had obviously been running her hands nervously through it for hours. Maybe even the last 3 days.

"Do you have a plan?" Emma asked.

"Your Mother knows she is here, but I caution you Emma, if you discuss anything with Snow always think about your surroundings. Mother can enchant many things, her speciality was mirrors, but you need to be careful at all times. We need to maintain the only advantage we have, Mother would never think I would trust Snow again so she is unlikely to find out we have an uneasy alliance and are plotting behind her back. It is a slim advantage, but we need to take it."

"So you don't think she is genuinely here to reunite with you? You think she is a threat?"

"Mother is always a threat to someone, and she always looks after her own interests. This time I'm older and wiser and don't want to bend to her will. We don't want the same things which will make me an obstacle to be cleared from her path."

"That is your politician's answer, it doesn't tell me what she is planning or what you are intending to do either."

"World domination? Power? It is always the same with Mother."

"What is here for her? Storybrooke isn't exactly a massive Kingdom." Emma pressed the brunette who wasn't volunteering information.

The older woman sighed. She knew Snow would tell Emma anyway, despite Regina's belief that keeping her in the dark was the best way to keep her safe. She had voiced her opinion that telling Emma would mean she would want to be involved and want to fight, which none of them wanted for her. She answered the blonde truthfully, "The Dark One's dagger is here. I've been slowing her down, hoping you'd return with Gold. He will be able to hide it and strengthen the magic protecting it."

"Can't Gold defeat her? Surely he'll protect the dagger above anything else?"

"He made a deal with Mother. He'd need to break that and even if he did break the deal, Mother won't attack directly, it will be insidious. She wants to steal the dagger so Gold doesn't realise it is missing, giving her the advantage. In the very least she'll control Rumpelstilskin if she has his dagger and at worst she could become the Dark One. I need to stop that, I need to deal with her, it has to be my fight."

"Whatever you need, I'm here, and I'll fight with you."

"No." There was strength in Regina's response, it felt like a command had been issued in the small space of the kitchen.

"What do you mean, no? I'm perfectly capable with a sword, Dad has taught me. I'm strong, can think on my feet, I'm a quick study and I'm determined. Let me help you."

"Emma we can't stand together against her. If she finds out about you and Henry she's likely to hurt you or take you both away from me to use as a bargaining tool. I can't let that happen, under no circumstance can I risk that. Joining me in the fight is out of the question, you need to stay with Henry and keep him safe."

"She won't get the chance to take us away, you defeated her once and I'm sure you can do again. Plus you have me and my parents on your side now and there might be a way to get Gold onto our side too."

"I find that unlikely, I just told you he made a deal with Mother. And he still blames me for Belle. It would take something monumental for him to get involved."

"Well yeah." Emma hesitated, this was the ideal opportunity to tell Regina and she had to take it.

"That has kinda happened." Emma said as Regina raised a sculpted eyebrow.

"I went with him to Manhattan, to find his son. And we did find him. The problem is he….he's….it was Neal, Henry's father." Emma's eyes darted round the room until they finally settled on Regina's, Emma noticing the mask that had quickly dropped into place.

Emma continued quickly, filling the silence and uncomfortable atmosphere that was growing between them, "I swear Regina I didn't know, I thought I'd never see him again, that he was just some low life thieving jerk. I was as surprised as he was when we saw each other and then to find out he was Gold's son, it has been a hell of a trip."

She tried to gauge the woman in front of her, but gave up. There was a distance and coolness surrounding the brunette which grew with every word. But Emma was left with no choice so she forged on.

"Neal doesn't want anything to do with Gold, he doesn't think he can change. But he did come back to Storybrooke to try to spend time with Henry and bond with him, to try and be a father figure."

"And you know Henry will defend you and want to help battle your Mother, which in turn means Neal will want that. Gold is probably desperate enough do anything to prove to Neal his dedication as a father. He knows he needs to rebuild their relationship, his behaviour damaged it and he knows it is going to take actions to illustrate to Neal he has changed. This is a perfect opportunity to show that and he might join us."

Emma wanted to study the floor but she didn't. She was trying to be open, to explain this hadn't been her fault and even if Regina was going to blame her she wanted her to know that none of it had been done intentionally. With difficulty she lifted her head and rushed on.

"Now Henry isn't speaking to me, you see when I first came to Storybrooke I told him his father was dead to avoid an awkward discussion. So he is having to adjust to the fact that his mother lied, his father is alive, he is related to The Dark One and he has shut me out."

"I know you probably think I deserve that after the way he treated you when I arrived? Hey at least the kid is consistent with us." Emma shrugged her shoulders as she tried for humour that fell flat in the silent kitchen. The brunette still didn't speak and Emma had finally exhausted the things she needed to say. Her final comment was, "Regina he is understandably confused, and you want me to tell him now he is back in Storybrooke his other mother doesn't want to see him."

Emma watched Regina's face which did show emotion at her last remark. It was just her eyes that betrayed her, that sparked showing Emma had managed to make her angry.

"You know that isn't true." Regina breathed out, crossing the room to bore her eyes into Emma's. "I want him to stay away for his own good, Mother is dangerous and I don't know the extent of her magical powers or her full plans. I am trying to look after him and protect him like any good parent."

"Yeah well we could end up driving him away if we aren't careful, Neal's desperate to get to know him and make up for lost time."

"I bet he is. He probably has his eye on reacquainting himself with you too." Regina's eyes blazed dangerously. "He'll take everything I value, everything I have spent the last 6 months changing for."

"Henry isn't doing this to hurt you! He is too young to be playing a game or pick a side, he just sees this is an opportunity, he is entitled to a relationship with his father and to have someone else in his life who will love him."

Emma paused to take a breath and clenched her hands into fists as she slowly asked the next question, "Do you really think after the things I've shared with you, the things we've discussed I'd fall back into bed with him so easily?" Emma's voice was rising, she felt her temper flare. "This isn't solely about you, this is about trying to find a way round this awkward situation."

"He is Henry's father, it makes perfect sense you would want to raise him together and be a family. There is the solution to your _awkward_ situation."

"God you really are dim sometimes Regina! I don't want him."

"I'm sure you will after a few weeks. Your family will welcome him with open arms, he will grovel and apologise and everything will be fine between you. He is a much better choice than a lesbian relationship with an Ex-Queen and Ex-Mayor."

Regina knew she was pushing the woman away, part of her was in shock about Neal, the possibility of losing Henry loomed large and she felt sick with dread as it twisted violently in her stomach. Added to that she was still struggling with her mother's harsh words still stuck in her head. It seemed her Mother might have been right, anything she valued eventually got taken away, she was a villain and didn't deserve happiness or a chance to change.

The sweetness that had coated the words did little to soften them as they fell from her maliciously thin lips, "No-one can love you Regina. You are far too damaged, your heart is black. I don't know why you continue to punish yourself and think things will change. Cheap flowers and empty words, they are easy to say, but I doubt they are backed up with actions. I have crossed realms and made you Queen, those show a Mother's dedication Regina."

Cora's words were designed to produce a response, to upset her and erode any hope or confidence she had. They were aimed to make Regina deflate, to open old wounds so she needed her mother's strength and would stand by her side in the war Cora wanted to wage.

But deep down inside Regina knew Emma had shown her friendship, the looking after and looking out for her, and the tender touches. There had been actions shared between them that even in Regina's limited experience spoke of caring if not love. They weren't imagined, but still her mother had been able to sow a seed of doubt.

So with a heavy and confused heart it was the easiest thing for Regina to shut the vulnerable part of her away, to go on the attack and to snap, "Maybe you've already rekindled your relationship, like the delinquent, unmarried, pregnant at seventeen, jailbait whore you have always been."

The sound as Emma's hand connected with her face rang out loudly in the kitchen and then all you could hear was the sound of raged breathing from both women. Emma looked as tears filled Regina's eyes, unshed tears she knew were mirrored in her own. She knew hers were from the sting of the words, that Regina had been able to easily and concisely cut into her with her barbed attack and the betrayal she felt after sharing her past with the woman thrown back at her. She didn't know if Regina's tears were from the pain of the slap, or because the argument was affecting her emotionally. Emma hoped for the latter but wasn't at all sure, Regina was closing down and becoming more like the woman Emma had first met all those months ago when she returned Henry home right at the beginning of their twisted tale together.

It hit a strange cord with her, reminded her of the day they had lost Graham. Only then it had been Regina who had lost her temper and slapped Emma, now Emma was waiting for the retaliation she was sure would be coming. But after a beat of silence where neither woman looked away from the stare off they found themselves in it seemed the brunette had gained better control of herself since that day.

And then it dawned on Emma. Regina was far too composed. Regina was all about attack, it was her form of defence, one she had crafted for years and this person staring at her was far too measured and in control. Emma finally recognised that she was being pushed away, this was about gaining an objective, one where she was being hurt on purpose so she would leave.

Well not this time. This time Emma was going to make a stand and show the brunette she was worth fighting for. Because she was, yes she had hurt Emma, the words had impacted and stung her, but she had been called worse in prison. The reason they hurt so much more this time was because of the depth of feelings involved between the two warring women. And Emma was going to use those feelings, she concentrated on the good things, trying to push the negative feelings away. She was still riled up and felt everything inside of her in turmoil as her emotions fought for dominance.

Emma took a step forward and Regina stood her ground, both of them angry and the atmosphere becoming stifling in its intensity as both women radiated fierce defiance and outward hostility. It was a true face off as anger blazed through both women and shone from their eyes. Emma held onto her temper tightly, she wasn't going to rush in and ruin everything. Her words were as measured as she could be staring at the woman she wanted to be allowed to love.

"I. Don't. Want. Him." Emma grasped Regina's chin and took another step forward so they were almost flush, "Why can't you accept that?"

"Because it makes no sense."

"He's a liar, he abandoned me and he broke my heart. Why is it difficult to believe?"

"He could give you everything, another child, a family and a normal home with Henry."

"Are you being deliberately obtuse? I don't want those things." Emma was exasperated as she watched Regina's face for a flicker of something. Some emotion, some spark of something. There was nothing, but Emma felt certain underneath it all Regina was fighting against an onslaught of feelings. She was certain the brunette felt as badly as she did, confused, shocked and scared. They were on the precipice, it was a pivotal moment for them, and any relationship they might have. Emma felt the tension and knew what happened next could define them or blow them apart. Emma hated teetering on the brink, she gave in and dived into it, trusting her heart, trusting the woman in front of her. Her next words threw all caution to the wind, "I want you."

The kiss was crushing in its intensity as Emma refused to be pushed away anymore and took what they both needed. For a moment Regina was stunned before she returned the kiss with equal fervour, devouring each other as the passion overtook them.

Regina threaded her hands through blonde locks to pull the woman closer still as Emma wrapped her hands round the lithe frame of the brunette. She fought to find purchase against the silk shirt the brunette was wearing and gave up, pulling the material loose and sliding her hands up her smooth expanse of back, relishing the softness and the way the touch had the woman moaning into her mouth.

As skin slide against skin Regina gaspingly halted the kiss. She didn't want to, she had missed Emma so badly. Her body was responding even as her mind told her this was an indulgence and it couldn't happen now. She pulled away but felt strong arms anchor round her waist, restricting how far she could move. Grudgingly she placed her hands on Emma's shoulders so she couldn't be pulled closer. She wanted to sink her hands into the flaxen hair or to cup the blonde's neck and pull her into another kiss but instead she blew out a frustrated breath. Looking into Emma's eyes she hated that she needed to stop this. But there were more important things than her immediate pleasure.

"We shouldn't do this, it is dangerous to get distracted like this." The words held no bite, whispered breathily as Regina felt her lower half practically melded against Emma.

"Tell me you don't want to." Emma whispered back, caressing the woman's ass.

"You know I do, but you don't know her like I do, she is heartless and will stop at nothing to achieve her goal."

"I believe you, but I think we both need this. We've both had a shock and spent the last few days under a lot of stress. We left things unresolved when I went to New York. Don't send me away, not yet."

"I don't want to send you away, I just need to keep you safe. Safe isn't here with me."

"From what I hear about your Mother, safe isn't anywhere."

"Emma please." Regina begging was something new, and there was such feeling in it.

"Regina I am not going to stand by and let her hurt you, I can't just be a spectator and do nothing."

Emma's smile threatened to melt her resolve, it was already melting her heart. Regina should have known the blonde wouldn't do as she was told, that whatever plans she made Emma always upset them, that had been how their relationship had been since she arrived in town last year.

She should be glad Emma wanted to stand with her, that Emma wanted to protect her, but she knew her Mother. Even if her Mother could accept she was in love and that was her choice, her Mother would be less than accepting that it was a woman or that it was Snow's daughter. Her Mother was a traditionalist. No, that wasn't right. Her Mother was an unreasonable, murdering sadist. But whatever label Cora was given, she wouldn't accept Regina's sexuality. That wasn't how she had raised Regina and Cora's narrow minded views of what were right were to be obeyed, this would be treated as a direct rebellion and an insult to Cora's parenting. Once again Regina had picked someone unsuitable in her Mother's eyes and that could end badly for everyone.

"Emma as grateful as I am for your offer, you need to trust me to deal with Mother."

The blonde reached up and took Regina's hand from round her neck. She brought it to her lips and kissed the fingertips. She whispered to the older woman, "I care too much for you to allow you to face this on your own."

"And I care too much to allow you to endanger yourself!"

Emma's smile was sweet, she had gone away unsure Regina would still want her, but she did. She nuzzled into the brunette's neck and placed a kiss there. "Thank you for caring."

Regina felt the warmth of her breath but more importantly the heat of her words. She could get lost with Emma saying things like that. She was well aware neither of them had actually said, "I love you", it had been indirectly implied and communicated with touches and this was another declaration of love without saying that word that scared them. Emma had subtly changed the conversation away from her Mother and back to what was happening between them.

Regina breathed out, "I care more than I ever thought possible." And Emma felt her lover smile against her neck, a smile she mirrored.

"Regina when I left, I had every intention of coming back and asking whether we could become serious. I intended to ask if we could start dating and make our relationship public. Can I still ask that? Do things with your Mother and Neal change that?"

Regina pulled away so that they could look at each other. "Dating is something I have no experience with, it is not how things were in the old world. I have no idea how to. Does that change things? Do you still want to date me?"

"We've been dating for months, it is just a name. The dinners, the trips out, they were just like dates." Emma reassured the woman she was holding in her arms.

"Emma even I know a date is between two people and we had Henry with us. I don't think they count."

"Ok, maybe not, but there is nothing to be afraid of. When your Mother is gone will you please allow me to take you to dinner?"

"That would be lovely." And the smile Regina gave her was genuine and lit up her face.

"Can I kiss you?" And Emma ran her hand across her cheek and caressed her lips with the pad of her thumb. The brunette nodded and Emma closed the distance immediately.

Regina hadn't intended for it to be this kind of reunion. She hadn't intended for it to end up in the bedroom at all, but when they had broken apart breathlessly from the urgent and insistent kissing in the kitchen she knew it was a lost cause. Her body was humming with desire, and she had practically dragged the blonde upstairs.

When Emma had first left for the city she had thought that when the blonde returned from the trip they would take it slow and there would be talking about where their relationship was going and what they both wanted from it. She had then hoped to cement their newly vocalised confessions of love and wanting by ending up in bed where she would be able to tease the blonde for hours and enjoying listening to her peak over and over, leisurely but lovingly.

Then her mother arrived and all thoughts of a reunion, sexual or otherwise had been shelved.

Now she felt the desire smoulder inside of her and knew how this was going to end. Somehow the pushing away had backfired and they were going to both end up gasping and shuddering in a heap of limbs in her bed. Even the thoughts and re-appearance of her Mother couldn't quell the heated desire between them, and somewhere Regina regretted that taking things slow would have to wait for another day.

Emma had been away for days and now she had returned she brought news of an old lover. Despite Emma reassuring her that Neal meant nothing and the past was truly dead and buried, Regina recognised the burning feeling inside her as jealousy and she wanted to mark the blonde as her own, take her, be the only one who could make her quake and shudder in pleasure.

She wanted to be the first person Emma thought about when she woke and the last one before she fell asleep. She wanted to push any memories of Neal away and create their own. Memories that were vibrant, passionate and fierce.

Something inside Regina reminded her this had gone far beyond the game she had first initiated, that this wasn't something she was playing at anymore. There were feelings involved and she was in deep. It should have scared her, it should have been enough for her to push Emma away and continue her existence alone. Alone, cold and isolated, but safe, just as Mother had wanted. Safe from the sting of rejection and hurt that relationships always caused.

Only somehow with Emma she did feel safe. She felt warm and wanted. Yes there were misunderstandings, there were arguments, but they kept coming back to each other and it wasn't because of some sick twisted thrill of a game being played.

She confidently believed Emma's words that Neal was just Henry's father and he no longer had any control over her heart. Regina believed because they had forged a trust with each other in the nights with the talking and sharing. Deep down she knew Emma's heart belonged to her.

As much as a problem Neal would be, wanting visitation rights to Henry and trying to plan that into Henry's rather strict regime, Regina knew he wouldn't drive a wedge between herself and Emma. Their relationship was strong in a way she had never known, they talked openly and honestly, more than Regina ever had with anyone and Emma didn't lie to her or try and manipulate her.

Admittedly Emma had hid their relationship, but Regina understood that. Who would willingly admit they were seeing The Evil Queen? The older woman understood Emma's hesitation about telling people, especially her parents and Henry. If this was just a scorchingly hot few months of crazy sex and it didn't last then she could see there was no point upsetting Snow and Charming unnecessarily.

Henry was a different matter, he was a smart and sensitive child and knew something was developing but Regina knew that if things went badly with Emma neither of them would make Henry suffer for their stupidity and inability of take this relationship past a sexual level.

But she shouldn't be thinking and analysing now, not when she had a naked and beautiful woman nestled below her between her thighs.

She wanted to grind down on the blonde, coat her with the arousal that she felt seeping out of her, but she didn't. She sat patiently and listened to Emma's breathing become more uneven with the expectation. As they lay still in her bed and looked at each other it allowed the silence to grow and Regina loved the tone when Emma eventually broke the moment and stuttered out, "Touch me?"

"Where do you want me to touch you? Here?" Regina rang her hand lightly down the blonde's naked side, more tickling than anything else but Emma still sucked in a breath from the feel of Regina's fingertips delicately touching her.

"Lower." Emma managed to husk out.

"Here?" Regina moved her had down Emma's thigh and played her fingers across the joint at the back of her knee cap before grasping the calf muscle.

"No. I need you, I missed you."

"What do you need? Tell me."

"Just kiss me. I need all of you, want all of you, I don't know where to start."

So the brunette did, she pressed their naked forms together tight and felt the blonde raise her leg to create a delicious friction against her centre as their lips joined and tongues danced. She skittered her lips over the blonde's cheekbone and latched her teeth onto an earlobe.

She whispered to her lover, "Emma we have a lifetime to tease and experiment. To get to know each other's bodies. I'm not going to give you up. So tell me, do you want me to use my tongue on you?"

"Yes!" And it was full of wanting, setting Regina's senses on fire with the tone of carnal yearning the woman spoke with.

She bit into the earlobe and enjoyed the way Emma bucked at the suddenly violent way she had taken control. She placed kisses over the blonde's jaw and down her neck, sucking and nipping with her teeth which had Emma moaning her name.

As she trailed lower she took a taut nipple in her mouth and swirled her tongue round the needy peak, palming and pinching the other breast with her hand. She loved Emma's breasts, they were perfect, responding to her touch. She grazed the nipple between her teeth and listened as the blonde mewled and arched her back, pushing more of the breast into her mouth which she greedily sucked on, biting into and marking savagely before releasing it to continue her journey down the pale and perfect skin towards Emma's heated centre.

She placed open mouthed kisses over the toned stomach which she felt contract as Emma tensed with growing expectation. She ghosted her hands down the blonde's sides and then over her thighs as she continued to kiss down the naked flesh. She ended up nestled between strong thigh muscles, seeing Emma's welcoming sex. She could smell the arousal, see the juices seeping from her lover and she licked her lips in keen anticipation.

Regina wanted to please Emma and use her tongue as she had promised, but instead she positioned herself lower and bit into the thigh muscle, sucking hard, leaving a red patch of skin in her wake. Emma gasped at the rough contact and shifted against the mattress, wanting Regina's mouth to be touching her far more intimately.

Not ready to stop teasing she moved further up the blonde's leg, placing kisses against her pale skin, inching towards the apex of her thighs and bit down again. She was marking Emma deliberately, rationally she might not be worried about Neal but subconsciously it had obviously stirred up some insecurity because she wanted to leave behind lasting evidence that the blonde was hers.

As she swirled her tongue round the reddening skin she looked at the two marks on Emma's legs and the one on her breast that stood out in contrast to her pale skin. _Mine_ , that was her first thought. A visual reminder that the woman belonged to her, and she did. No amount of Mother's meddling had been able to douse the fire between them, Emma had come back as she had left, wanting her.

She smiled as she finally spread Emma's sex before her and felt Emma tense her thigh muscles. Emma obviously wanted her, it was in the way she had reached down and had grasped her hair. She was gently urging the brunette's head towards her centre, raising her hips to finally get Regina's mouth where she needed it. She was aching for attention and Regina didn't disappoint as she snaked her tongue out and swiped it between Emma's lips. As she rubbed the tip of her tongue over Emma's clit the blonde arched off the bed and sighed in pleasure.

"Mmmm" Regina hummed as she enjoyed the taste of the younger woman and the way Emma was reacting to her ministrations. She dragged her tongue over Emma's entrance and them up to her most sensitive area, circling it over and over, slowly at first and then more insistently as Emma held her down tighter and murmured her name.

She slipped her middle and index finger into Emma's slick wetness and loved the way Emma reacted to the extra sensations as the blonde bucked and moaned. She never stopped tonguing the bundle of nerves, lapping at the nub as she increased the speed and depth of her thrusting fingers. Emma was becoming more excited, she was writhing and with the hand that wasn't buried in Regina's hair she was fondling her breast and tweaking at the nipple.

Regina was able to lift her head enough to watch the blonde touching herself and admire the beautiful look on her face. Her eyes were half closed and she was making pleasurable groans. Regina loved the way her hair was fanned on the pillow and the heavy breathing that was causing her breasts to sway slightly. While her tongue never slowed Regina's eyes became transfixed on the blonde's chest and her hardened nipples and the quick way Emma was flicking the peak held between her finger and thumb.

The younger woman was caught up in the pleasure rippling through her, she was lifting her hips to meet the brunette's thrusting fingers which allowed Regina to slip her hand under her ass and cup the cheek, running her fingers along the crack and against the tight and puckered skin of her asshole. Regina ran her finger over the sensitive skin again and applied direct pressure on Emma's clit with her tongue. She could feel Emma get closer and closer to her release. She felt the blonde clamp her head with her thighs and she quickly added a third finger and curled the digits to massage the blonde's inner walls.

"REGINA!" Emma screamed as she came, bucking frantically against the brunette's face who continued to caress Emma's clit with her tongue until the blonde slowly stilled beneath her, sated and relaxed. Regina felt the powerful muscles locked round her head release and she was immediately kissing over Emma's mound and then back up her stomach.

"Hey" Emma greeted her, kissing her deeply and tightening her arms round the naked frame of the brunette. She loved the way their bodies were pressed together, she felt Regina's heartbeat and was cradling her between her legs but she wanted more control so she rolled them so she was on top and looking down to the older woman. She shifted her body so her leg was between Regina's and as she rocked her hips she was rubbing her thigh against the brunette's slick sex.

Hearing the woman's approving hum in her ear she whispered, "That was worth coming home for." She reached up and tucked Regina's hair behind her ear and lovingly ran her fingers down her face.

Regina looked up and saw the adoring way Emma watched her. "I'm sorry I called you a whore." The apology fell from her lips and it felt right, and it made Emma's beaming smile brighter.

"I'm sorry I slapped you." The blonde stroked gently at her face, wanting to take away any remaining sting left behind from the angry action.

The brunette had her hands resting on Emma's back and began to caresses her as they shared a moment of calm. Emma rubbed her nose against her lovers and gently caught her lips in a slow and tender kiss.

As the kisses began more hungry and Regina began to rock herself against Emma's thigh the younger woman took a nipple in her hand and rotated it between her talented fingers causing the brunette below her to moan.

"I missed you." Emma breathed out, desire heavily tainting the words.

"Naturally." The brunette answered her with a smug smile.

So Emma twisted the nipple a little harder and heard Regina suck in a hissing breath then look at the blonde reproachfully.

"That was uncalled for." She muttered but Emma was already moving her head to take the nipple in her mouth and sooth it with the heat and softness of her tongue. And if Regina was honest it hadn't really hurt, she had just been taken by surprise and she was now loving the way Emma was worshiping her firm peak, pulling at it with her lips, kissing the underside of her breast and grazing her teeth over the taut flesh.

Emma moved to kiss her again, thoroughly exploring her mouth with her probing tongue, before sucking and licking her way down her neck. "You taste amazing." She commented as she swirled her tongue in the hollow at the brunette's collar bone and then continued lower with her hand. She was light and teasing with her touch, and ran her fingertips over the beautiful expanse of skin below her, tickling Regina's side and rubbing circles over her flat stomach, navigating round her sex with her dancing digits to prolong the experience. She was trying to tantalize and arouse the brunette, to excite her with soft touches and desire filled words.

And it was working as she repositioned enough so she could enjoy watching Regina, hearing her accelerated breathing as she was still rubbing herself over Emma's thigh and the brunette was busy with her own hands, grasping Emma's back, her ass, running her palms over Emma's breasts when Emma pulled away enough to give her the space.

The brunette looked stunning, the stress Emma had witnesses in the kitchen had melted from her face and she was caught in the firm grasp of the gratifying sensations. She had closed her eyes and was moaning as Emma teased her fingers around the sensitive skin at the top of her thighs and the lower half of her stomach.

"You're so beautiful." When Emma kissed her it was with all the feeling she could muster. She wanted to let the brunette know she was wanted, that she was gorgeous and she was telling her the truth. And Regina had heard the reverence and honesty and held the blonde tightly to her, kissing her back with vigour and yearning.

Emma felt how wet the brunette was becoming, and gave in, ending the teasing. She wanted to feel the woman come, wanted to push her to that pleasurable point and she quickly ran her right hand down to the junction of Regina's thighs. Sliding through the slippery folds she easily sought out the older woman's clit and brushed it with her fingertips, immediately sensing the change in the woman below her. She practically bucked at the direct pressure, and grasped Emma's bicep hard as she moaned from deep in her chest.

"So wet, so ready and so fucking hot." Emma whispered to her lover as she moved her fingers back and traced her entrance, covering her fingers in more of Regina's warm essence. She flicked her fingers back over the nub, using the moisture seeping from Regina's centre to add to the speed she could slick her fingers over her clit.

Emma played with Regina's sex, enjoying the breathy moans each movement of her hand caused to fall from the brunette's lips. As Regina gradually became more vocal Emma slowed the hand between the brunette's legs and she grasped a breast with her left hand. She massaged it, her thumb circling the nipple at the same speed as the fingers on her right hand moved.

Emma loved the way Regina was rocking into her hand, her heels digging hard into the mattress to give her as much leverage as she could get. The brunette was also scratching at her back trying to find purchase and pull her closer. Emma wanted to be closer, but she wasn't going to let the older woman dictate this, she knew how she wanted the brunette to come. She wanted her to come hard, wanted her to feel this throughout her whole body, including her heart and mind.

So she moved off Regina and lay on the bed next to her so she could whisper into her ear and change the angle of her hand. Regina turned into her, her hand coming to rest on Emma's hip.

"God I love the way you feel." And the blonde swapped her fingers for her thumb, allowing her to dip her fingertips into the brunette. It was a teasing gesture, which she repeated several times before she finally plunged her fingers deep inside the other woman.

At the welcome invasion Regina's grip on Emma's hip tightened almost to the point of pain and she gasped out a ragged "Yes!" as her hips jumped to meet the blonde's thrusting.

"I love your voice, so sultry and delightfully sexy." Emma nibbled on her earlobe as she spoke before dropping her mouth to Regina's pulse point and sucking greedily.

Regina opened herself up to the other woman by moving her leg, she lifted it and wrapped it around her hip, her heel digging into Emma's ass cheek, allowing Emma to scoot closer and she used the new angle to delve deeper still with her fingers and press harder with her thumb and the heel of her hand against the wanton woman's hard pleasure nub.

Emma knew Regina was right on the edge, her hand was moving over Emma's side, never settling as she was so distracted with the feelings radiating from her centre, but it clamped tightly as Emma told her,

"I can feel you're close, you're getting wonderfully tight round my hand. I want you to come all over my fingers My Queen."

And Regina did, holding tight onto Emma as she felt her whole body go rigid. Her head was thrown back and she was gasping for breath as she felt wave after wave course through her body as the muscles spasmed and the orgasm took hold of her.

Emma held her, letting her ride the high and her hand as her hips slowed and then stilled. Regina felt exhausted, drained from the powerful physical release and the heady rush of emotions, and only just managed to find the strength to roll into Emma's warm embrace.

"Emma, Emma" She mumbled into her neck and then placed sloppy kisses there. She had come hard and was momentarily speechless. She was spent, allowing Emma to cuddle into her and hold her.

"Are you ok?" Emma moved after a few minutes to find a very satisfied smirk gracing the Ex-Mayor's lips.

"I just need a few more minutes, that was intense." And she pulled Emma in for a kiss that conveyed the tsunami of gratitude roaring through her.

As Regina recovered her strength and the touching went from delicate and restrained to passionate and craving she wondered how long it would be before they were comfortable with the words, "I love you." She knew she had come so hard because it hadn't just been the physical response. Emma had filled her head with her words, praising her body and making her feel loved. She had focused as much on joining their minds as she had on unifying their bodies and Regina had felt that rip through her body and settle in her heart as her limbs and muscles had convulsed in orgasm.

As she knelt over the blonde's face and spread her legs, bending at the waist to lower her own head to Emma's folds she knew that with each meeting between them they were getting closer and closer to it. She should be terrified, love was weakness, but she knew what they had wasn't weak.

As Emma inserted her tongue and Regina's focus scattered, only barely holding onto the physical sensation she gave up wondering about their future. The present was consuming her, she was surrounded by the blonde, her scent, her touch and her taste and it felt so very right.


	23. Reunions and Introductions

So sorry for the long delay - as it has been 6 months I have tried to make sure I haven't made any continuity errors or forgotten anything written previously - but I can't promise anything.

Hope to get a few more chapters up in the next month - so thank you for continuing to follow and review.

* * *

Much as they both wanted to get lost wrapped up together in her bed Regina knew they had to get on. She had to speak to her Mother and Emma had to warn Gold and try to smooth things over with Henry.

Regina cringed as she thought how Henry was probably telling Snow and Charming about his newly found Dad and the ideas that could be forming in his head about reunited family. If he thought his biological Mom and Dad would get back together she knew who would feel the backlash and viewed as the problem when Emma told him there was no chance of a reconciliation with Neal. She dreaded even more making their relationship public. Snow, Charming, the whole town would react badly.

"When can I see you again?" Emma asked as she pulled on her clothes.

"I don't know. Wait for me to contact you."

Emma looked disappointed and Regina loved the pout, it was adorably cute. She leaned in and kissed it away. "Don't look at me like that, you know it can't be helped."

"Can't we…." Emma began but Regina shushed her with a finger to her lips.

"I don't like it either, but just be patient. We'll get our chance."

"I don't want to go." Emma sulked.

"You don't want to have to face your parent's and our sullen child, that's a different thing entirely." Regina smiled knowingly at her lover.

"Well there is that as well." Emma collapsed against the doorframe and Regina had to struggle with herself. She wanted to reach out and pull the woman close. But they had already spent time they didn't have as they had laid in the bed snuggled together and talking about their situation. They had gently discussed, feeling out the options they had. They talked easily, listening to the other person's ideas and suggestions after the initial passion had run its course and they found themselves sated and intimately entwined.

Emma had talked about the lie she had told Henry and his difficulty in accepting her reasons for it. And she had told Regina that she had phoned Snow asking for advice and she had championed Neal's presence in Henry's life. And the brunette remained calm and didn't spew forth hatred about her once enemy, because that wasn't going to help Emma. She was sympathetic and saw how truly sorry Emma was, she knew when Henry shut you out how much it hurt. He was usually so interested, asking questions and wanting to be involved and she could only imagine how sullen he had become towards Emma.

The brunette knew she was falling fast for the blonde and that it was changing her deeply. There was a time in the past she would have secretly smiled about the situation. Emma had disappointed the saintly Snow White and Henry. Both relationships were now rocky and the old Regina would have enjoyed her suffering. And only because she hated seeing other people happy. She had never found a place to belong, so why should someone else get the opportunities denied to her?

It was dawning on her that as she found peace within herself she settled and while still struggling with her temper and trusting others, she felt calmer. Her acceptance that this was her life and her internal belief that she could now control it made her confidence grow. The disastrous past could be just that, it could be left behind and she could move on and try and be happy. She found she cared less about other people and their contentment, she could even stomach the two idiots in small doses instead of feeling nauseated. Well, she still felt ill at the syrupy sweet way they looked at each other, but that wasn't because of jealousy and an unhealthy obsession with other people's superior quality of life.

She was more concerned with her life, her family, and her choices. She didn't see Emma's failure as something to be celebrated, and at that point she recognised that she could grow, her path wasn't set and she could be different to her mother. Mother wouldn't hesitate to crush someone's spirits when they were down and despondent. She would happily point out what was wrong and make sure they felt guilty and took the blame for it. Mother was a horrible human being and Regina refused to follow her example, she would not take another step and go any further down that road.

Regina might be sarcastic and abrupt, but she knew she had compassion and that seeing pain and suffering didn't thrill her as it once had. She was a flawed human being, but she was human, she had feelings and emotions. The self-discovery scared her as she had spent years hiding from anything that could hurt her, she had tried not to care because that left you open to loss and vulnerable. And yet now she knew everything had been an act and she had only masked her feelings, feelings which threatened to bubble to the surface as she looked at the strong young woman sharing a bed with her.

So instead of any form of gloating, now she just felt sad for Emma. The blonde had done what she thought best and it had backfired, and Henry only saw the lie, not the loving woman trying to protect him. Even if she hadn't been intimately involved with Emma she didn't think she would have thrown barbed comments, half-truths and blame at her. Since her Mother had arrived she had taken a long hard look at herself and she didn't want to be alone and powerful. And being abusive and abrasive, there was no benefit to anyone in behaving like that and she finally saw it.

She also knew Henry and that in time he would forgive his blonde mother, so she gave Emma as much comfort as she could saying, "Henry will get over this. Give it time."

Emma had still looked unhappy about it but nodded, Regina still had eleven years of knowledge about their son, she knew Henry better than anyone and the blonde had to believe her reassurances.

They then moved on to discussing Neal. Emma was wary of her old lover but he was here in Storybrooke now and both women had grudgingly admitted he probably had some kind of rights. Not necessarily legally, but morally, especially if Henry wanted to see him. Regina wasn't happy with the situation but she also knew Emma hadn't had a choice and nothing she could do would change it. Standing in Neal's way would only damage her relationship with Henry so they would work with the man and try and find a compromise that suited them all.

As they moved on to the difficult subject of Emma's relationship with her parents Regina thought about telling her lover that Snow already knew but held her tongue. Emma had enough stress and she didn't want to ruin the moment they had stolen. As long as Snow kept her word Regina had time, she would let things play out and hoped that by then Emma would have found the courage to tell her parents herself.

"How would you tell them?" Emma asked and Regina felt her heart expand. She was being consulted and her opinion was valued. However her sarcastic and villainous streak could never be crushed and she answered with a smirk, "I'd let them find me naked in your bed and draw their own conclusions. Or maybe take out a billboard listing and advertise it across the town, but then some people say I'm overly dramatic and twisted, so you might not want to do either of those things."

"That's not helpful." Emma smiled at her, knowing she was just trying to make her feel better with the sly humour.

"Probably not." Regina paused and reached out for Emma's hand, caressing it as she said, "Be honest Emma, it is what they value above all else. They are your parents, they love you and will learn to accept it."

She wanted to tell her that Snow already knew and that though not happy about it her parents had had many moths of suspicions and then three days to get used to the information. However, it was Emma's responsibility to tell her parents and Regina couldn't admit she had been bullied into telling Snow. She would at a later date, but right now she skirted that piece of information and told the blonde, "It might go better than you think."

"Yeah, and it might not."

Regina saw the fear spark in Emma's eye and gave her a distracting peck.

"Have faith." She placated, resting their foreheads together and looking into the blonde's eyes.

"Since when did you become a beacon of hope and faith?" Emma responded, a twinkle in her eye as she lightly teased the older woman.

"Since I have something to be hopeful for. Now we both know that in this relationship mine is the opinion that counts, and in my opinion," Regina smirked as her lover scowled, "telling your parents will work out fine. But it is a problem for another day, we need to deal with my parent first."

Referring to them as a relationship made the brunette feel strange things. She felt elated, mostly because Emma didn't correct her and seemed happy for it to be classed as a relationship. Regina felt a sense of belonging to the blonde and rather than that making her feel repressed and like an item of property as it had in the past, she just felt warm and wanted.

Emma just smiled before playfully digging her in the ribs and saying, "Of course Your Majesty." She sealed the cheeky remark with another chaste kiss.

They talked about letting the town see them together as a couple and Regina voiced her concern. People weren't comfortable around her and they still had a lot of resentment and anger towards her, she didn't want Emma to feel any backlash. But Emma had reassured her that she was a gun toting Sheriff who could handle a few narrow minded fairy tale characters. Regina wasn't happy but as Emma caressed and cuddled her she felt the arguments die on her lips. She breathed deeply into Emma's hair and rested her head on the soft skin of her lover's shoulder.

The biggest problem they could both see was telling Henry. They agreed that they needed to tell him before anyone else about their involvement together and Regina wanted to be there so Henry could ask questions. She wanted to sit him down with Emma and not rush it. She didn't want Emma to tell him on his own, that looked like she was hiding and ashamed but with her Mother lurking that was currently the only choice they had.

So they had agreed to wait but neither woman was happy continuing to lie to their son. He deserved better and both of them knew it would be difficult, especially if he thought there was any chance Emma and Neal might reconcile.

Standing by the front door they knew it was time to part, to trust in each other that they would get the jobs done that needed doing.

"I wish you could come with me." The blonde knew she wouldn't and the brunette squeezed her hand as she summed up why.

"I need to seek out Mother, I should have started early this morning but someone distracted me."

They shared a smile together, both of them still feeling the warmth and glow from the multiple orgasms. Regina felt deliciously alive and her body was humming in contentment.

"So can I have a goodbye kiss?" Emma leaned forward expectantly.

"A very brief one, yes."

"Well that sucks."

"I agree with you for once." Regina quipped and gave her a chaste brush of lips. "But you still need to go." She whispered against the blonde's lips.

And sighing heavily in acknowledgement of that Emma opened the door and hopped down the footpath.

Regina smiled to herself, sometimes the woman was such a child, and she guessed it was why she usually got on so well with Henry, their mental age being similar. But she knew the reason for Emma's bounce. She might have a whole host of tasks to perform, her time not being her own as she was going to have a busy week to plan and organise. She had a stroppy son to deal with and an ex-lover to explain various issues to, and then her parents with their cretinous questions too, but she was sexually satisfied, they had ironed things out so they felt comfortable referring to each other as girlfriend. It meant inside she felt safe, wanted, confident and powerful. She felt positive and that she could achieve it all.

Regina knew that because she felt it too. She still had the guilt and fear of Mother but it had been muted considerably with Emma's request to take her out on a date. She felt positive and knew the events of the morning had proved her mother wrong. She could have love and happiness, it was within touching distance. She just had to be careful this time and protect those she loved.

But she was older and wiser, and she felt certain she could do it this time. She knew her Mother so much better now, and wouldn't be fooled into believing any of the poisonous insights the older Mills might tell her. She refused to lose the chance to love and be happy again.

* * *

Regina sat in her vault, she knew it would only be a matter of time. She had been there for forty five minutes when her mother finally appeared. Regina was able to stand so at least she didn't feel completely subjugated before the tirade started.

"Rumple is back! How on earth he was able to locate his son and convince him to return with him so quickly is beyond me, but he has managed it. We only had one advantage and now we have lost that. It will be doubly hard now Regina, I hope you remember what hard work feels like because we are going to need to exert ourselves more than I would have liked to bring this to the conclusion I want."

Regina listened to her Mother's rant, everything was about her wishes, she was angry and forgetting the pretence that she was doing this for her daughter, to elevate her to the right station in her life. She sometimes wished Mother would combust with her anger and hatred, but she always managed to hold on to just enough self-restraint, inflicting pain on others but never losing control so the dark magic snapped back on herself.

She sat there nodding and smiling as she knew she had to, listening to her Mother as she would pose and idea and then rip it to pieces in the next instant.

"He has found his boy, I'm sure that is the key." Cora finally said and Regina felt her stomach knot. _The Boy_ as Cora referred to him, was Henry's father and if Cora was fixating on him there was a distinct possibility he might end up dead.

"He will do almost anything for him." Cora continued in her musing. "Perhaps we can enchant him, do you bring ingredients from the old world? Are they hidden in here?" And Cora strode over to some of the boxes and bottles sitting on the shelved walls and started to poke through them.

Regina had to think quickly, Henry had just been reunited with his father and although she had no feelings for the man one way or the other, Henry would be devastated if anything was to happen to him. Enchanting him was better than death so she stood and placed a hand on her mother's shoulder.

She didn't really want the older woman looking through her possessions anyway and this would give her the opportunity to work alone so she suggested, "Yes Mother I have the ingredients. They are old, but protected by the magic in the vault, so should still be serviceable. I know where everything is so please let me make the potion. That will allow you to go and find Rumple's son and follow him to see how it would be best to slip him the potion and turn him into our ally."

She held her breath, hoping her Mother would agree and with a quick nod of her head the older woman did and disappeared. Regina let out the breath and ran her hand back through her hair, with every day that passed the stakes were increasing. She just hoped she could still counter her Mother's blood lust and destructive nature. It was getting harder but she couldn't dwell on that.

She had to make a potion and she needed to make sure it was good. Good enough to fool Rumple and also not be toxic in its effect on Henry's father. She moved gracefully around the vault gathering the things she would need and then took her time mixing. She was skilled but her hand still shook a little as she added just a touch of things that in any greater quantity could be lethal. She couldn't be responsible for killing the man Henry wanted desperately to call Dad.

Eventually she was satisfied. The potion was the right colour and consistency. It smelled as it was meant to, despite nearly thirty years the magic surrounding the vault had kept the ingredients reasonably fresh and she was as confident as she could be that it would work. And if it didn't work, she felt certain it wouldn't damage Rumple's son in any lasting way.

She sat back and waited for her mother to return for the second part of the plan, utilising the potion.

* * *

Emma walked into the shop and hated the way the dust hung in the air, the windows not letting in enough light.

Gold looked up at her and pulled his face into something resembling a smile. She supposed he was trying, now they were related, but it didn't sit well on his face.

"Do you want me to get Baelfire?" The older man asked and Emma realised that maybe her parents weren't the only one thinking a reconciliation was possible.

"No." Emma quickly told him, hoping he'd leave it at that.

Always one to sense the mood of a conversation Gold did just that and let the silence stretch, waiting for her to speak.

"Where is your dagger?" Emma cut striaght to the heart of the matter.

"Safe."

"Are you certain? Only Cora is here in Stroybrooke." Emma looked at the man, who nodded.

"Yes I know." He told her and Emma just stared at him for a beat.

"What do you mean you know?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"She came visiting, nearly a week ago, definitely before our trip to New York. In fact I think I might have been her first stop." The Imp added, studying the blonde.

"You knew she was here and said nothing?" Emma remembered why she hated the man, his secrets, his deals, his agenda.

He flexed his hands on his cane, "I didn't feel it was important to tell anyone. Her business is her own."

"But she has magic, she could be dangerous." The woman felt her frustration rise and she took a breath.

"Her magic is no match for mine, there is no danger." He told her smugly, she guessed he was trying to be genuine and reassure her, but he only made her feel repulsed. He was so nonchalant, his confidence made him arrogant and he didn't have the youth and cheeky smile his son did to appear friendly and charming.

"She wants your dagger." Emma told him bluntly.

"Well she can want all she likes, she won't get it." He told her.

"Gold, just be careful. She has travelled a long way and is far from stupid."

"You are right Sheriff, she isn't stupid, but she won't win against me. Now if you have quite finished implying I am not capable of protecting my own possessions, I'd like you to leave."

Emma rolled her eyes heavenward, the man might be Henry's grandfather but he was a conceited prick. There was no "Thank you" for the warning and she marched out of his shop in a worse mood than when she had entered it.

* * *

They had agreed on distance, they had agreed on time apart. So when Regina opened the door to her mansion later that evening to a dishevelled looking blonde she tried to stone her face, she tried to tell her to leave.

"Don't send me away, I don't want to be alone." She pleaded. And Regina knew about being alone, she had spent most of the early evening battling her own desire for company. But she knew to reach out to her son was dangerous, she mustn't send even a text, let alone a phone call. Dinner had been too quiet, sombre even as she sat round a table that was far too big for just her.

And it had only been a handful of hours since she'd seen Emma, to want to see her again so soon seemed desperate. So she did laundry that didn't need doing, stripping the beds and remaking them with fresh sheets. It was completely the wrong thing to do as she could smell the faint hint of Emma on her sheets, her perfume lingering and her imagination immediately buzzed to life. The two of them kissing, touching, caressing. She quickly remade her bed and rushed downstairs, throwing the sheets in the washer and then began cleaning the oven in an attempt to distract herself.

And since then she had been wallowing, pacing, and trying to read. Anything to divert her attention from blonde hair, a slim waist and beautiful eyes. But with every passing minute she knew she was failing miserably.

"You have Henry and your parent's, you aren't alone." Regina told her, as the wind whipped round them both stood on her doorstep. She wasn't backing down and letting the blonde into her house.

"I can't sit with my parent's right now." Emma told her, "They are acting weird since I've come home."

Immediately Regina's protective side came out, "What did they say or do?" She demanded, an icy tone to her voice. She had expected them to shelter Emma, involve her so she stayed with them. She was safer inside, not wandering the streets and Regina felt her anger spike. The Charming couple weren't taking her Mother's arrival seriously, she felt especially let down by Snow who she had believed would honour her promise to protect Emma and Henry.

"Oh they initially seemed to accept what I told them about Neal and his lies and my prison time. I did say I didn't want to dredge it all up, or discussed it and relive it. So they struggled with that, clearly wanting to know more. When it became apparent I wasn't opening up any further they change track and tried to force feed me cups of tea, cake and hot chocolate with small talk. They were hovering and it was smothering."

"I'm sure they were just being protective." Regina tried to smooth things over, internally she couldn't believe the two idiots. They were treating Emma like a small child, they didn't understand her and their actions were pushing her away, not keeping her stable and safe.

"After seeing Gold, who was less than helpful by the way. Has known your mother was here for a week, devious bastard that he is." Emma took a breath, "I needed to chill, to relax and order my thoughts."

The blonde continued, "Then there were more whispered conversations and the weird looks they kept giving me, the fake smiles and forced happiness. I would have preferred shouting and accusations, but they seem to be having silent conversations over my head with their shared looks and strained facial expressions. And worse, Henry keeps getting involved, whispering and watching me."

Emma sighed in disappointed frustration, "I overheard Neal's name several times, and it just got tedious. I couldn't stay there."

"Well you have a flat of your own." The brunette told her, crossing her arms defensively. Inside she was glad there hadn't been shouting, she was certain the reason for the odd behaviour was that Snow and Charming probably had questions. Many, many questions. But they knew they couldn't ask, so they were being forced to wait, watching for the right time and waiting for Emma to make the first move.

Their behaviour added to the stress Emma was feeling right now, not knowing what Gold might do, what Cora's intended and whether Neal could come visiting at any moment. Regina felt sympathy, Emma was private and liked her space and without it she was becoming prickly and defensive and it tugged at Regina's heart despite her valiant attempts to the contrary. She was crumbling quickly as Emma looked despondent at being turned away.

"I don't want to go there, there is nothing but bad TV re-runs on and I don't want to be on my own trapped with my thoughts." Emma smiled slyly, "You could be my distraction. You always knew how to distract me before."

"Emma sex isn't the answer to your problems." Regina rebuked her lover but she was struggling with a smile herself. And Emma knew it. She took a step forward and gave the brunette a sheepish grin.

Regina could smell her perfume, the same one that had been infused into her sheets along with the smell of sex and immediately she was struggling with her desire. Emma watched her eyes darken and pushed. She slowly lick over her lips, knowing exactly what she was doing to the brunette. She leant in to whisper in a husky tone, "Sex between us is never a problem."

The minute Regina sighed in exasperation and stepped back into the warmth of her house Emma knew she wasn't being sent away. She grinned and followed her lover inside, kicking the door shut behind her.

She revelled in the warmth after walking over and having the wind bite at her face, numbing her cheeks and her hands. She rubbed them together and blew into them, but was stopped as her hands were taken and held gently. She was then pulled along by her cold hands to the accompanying mutter,

"Miss Swan you are insufferable. Don't you own a scarf or gloves to keep your extremities warm?"

"I forgot them, I was kind of in a rush to leave." Emma argued.

"Well at least I am here to warm you up." And it became apparent to Emma as she was dragged upstairs rather than into the communal parts of the house that Regina had a very clear idea how she was going to warm her up.

As they crossed the threshold into her bedroom the brunette asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course." Came the immediate response.

"Good, because I have the perfect way to distract you." The brunette purred into her ear, before pointing a commanding finger towards the bed.

"Strip and lay down, face up. Your Queen wants to have some fun."

Emma nodded, already struggling to pull her boots off, hoping round unbalanced before she threw a hand out to steady herself.

Regina supressed her smirk, she was aroused and wanted the blonde and was looking forward to the coming activities, but the woman also made her laugh. The blonde was sometimes stupid and this was a perfect example, in her haste to remove her clothes she was shimmying and getting stuck, her jeans halfway down her legs so she struggled to remain upright. The brunette almost wanted to come up behind her and give her a push, to watch her overbalance, but she didn't. Instead she enjoyed the view as more skin was revealed and clothes were eventually pulled loose and thrown with frustrated grunts onto the floor.

Once naked Emma collapsed backwards onto the bed and gave Regina a lop-sided smile, she knew that had lacked grace and taken far longer than it should but she hoped by showing she was willing she would be quickly forgiven.

But Regina had become unreadable with her fierce stare that raked down the blonde's naked body. She had alluded to it earlier and hoped Emma understood, this was going to be a royal game tonight and the command that fell from her lips was in a clipped tone. "Arms up."

Emma obeyed and with a flick of magic she suddenly found her hands were in cuffs and her eyes covered. She knew better than to speak, that wasn't what The Queen would want, but she did hum a little in appreciation of the position she found herself in. Arms spread and held firmly against the headboard, she tested the bonds and they had just a little bit of give but she wouldn't be escaping unless The Queen wanted her to.

"I have something to attend to, don't go anywhere." There was cruelty and mocking in the voice that came from the far side of the room. And as Emma listened the door to the bedroom opened and then closed and she knew she had been left alone.

So silently she waited, not knowing how long the brunette would be or what she had left to do. Her mind raced with possibilities, nipple clamps, a ball gag. Maybe a dildo or a butt plug. The air was cool and her nipples were erect but that was more from the rampant sexual thoughts running through her mind than the temperature in the room.

As the door opened Emma felt the temperature in the room go up. It hadn't really but her heart had begun to beat just a little faster, the expectation pushing her blood harder round her body and heating it up. Her senses were heightened without sight so she listened but couldn't hear anything. Licking her dry lips she swallowed, certain it wouldn't be long now.

Suddenly despite not being able to see Regina she knew the woman was close, she felt her presence in the bedroom. She just didn't know exactly where so she held her breath to try and locate the woman by sound.

The problem was that everything was difficult to concentrate on. The blind fold Regina had tied over her eyes and the handcuffs that were restraining and anchoring her wrists to the headboard had left Emma with limited senses and restricted movement, but she wasn't scared. God no, she was incredibly turned on. And she struggled to focus on anything other than her arousal coursing through her body.

Regina's voice came from Emma's left, low and husky, "Tell me what you want Princess."

Emma shivered as the warm breath brushed her face and the bed dipped as Regina settled her weight on it. Regina straddled her and Emma felt soft skin against her own. Regina was naked, no clothes rubbed against her skin and Emma wanted badly to raise her hips and feel the most intimate part of Regina brush against her. Regina settled but kept most of her weight off Emma as she gently ran a fingertip down her face, tracing the shell of her ear, her lips and then her jaw.

"You're not talking My Blonde Beauty."

Emma felt her body respond to the possessive way Regina referred to her, she felt it between her legs as liquid heat.

"I'm sorry My Queen." She breathed out and couldn't see the smile that lit up the brunette's face.

"I want to feel more of you against my skin, I want you to kiss me, to fondle my breasts. I want to know you are aroused too because I can't touch you and feel the heat of your skin, or see your nipples are perky and begging for attention. I can't slide my fingers into you and feel how wet you are and I desperately want to please you too."

"I'll take my pleasure, don't you worry." To emphasise the point Regina spread her legs a little further, allowing her centre to rub against Emma's thigh. She obviously didn't find quite the right rhythm as she shifted again until she felt her juices help her glide against Emma's skin and the pressure against her clit made her moan quietly.

Emma had an idea Regina had gone away to undress and might have been touching herself, she was certainly wet and ready and the idea made her body shudder with pleasure.

As the brunette took her lips in a deep and delving kiss Emma arched and rubbed herself against the older woman, pressing them closer, tighter. Then Regina set off down her body with a trail of teasing nips and sucks, kisses that lingered and teeth that grazed.

And without being able to see or know what the brunette was going to do next Emma was soon a writhing mass of sensitivity, moaning as her body was explored with fingertips and the tip of a talented tongue. At some point her nipples were clamped, causing her to gasp before groaning as the sensitive nubs were pulled at and then she felt her body being used again, ridden for the other woman's pleasure.

And time passed, as they both moved against each other, building the passion and pleasure, they surrendered themselves to the physical and to the moment they had crafted for themselves.

Neither of them noticed that in the reflecting surface of the handcuffs a pair of eyes had appeared. They had a limited view, but it was enough to see who the two people involved were and that despite it being a dominating situation, there was too much caressing for this to be about possession and taking. It was sensual, consensual and was clearly love making and the eyes turned away, the lips underneath them upturned in an evil grin. Now this was unexpected, but useful, _Yes_ Cora thought, so very useful.

* * *

As Emma left the mansion in the cool morning air, the sun was just kissing the horizon. She looked up to see the beautiful colours streak the sky and stopped dead. At the end of the path was an older woman and just from her stance and the angry pinch of her face Emma knew who it was. There was an absence of anything in the woman's eyes, eyes that rested heavily on the blonde and she knew immediately that it was Cora blocking her way.

This was certainly not how she wanted to meet the woman, being caught sneaking out from a sexual tryst with the woman's daughter.

Regina had got up to let Emma out, wanting to lock the door behind her and as Emma stood inert on the footpath she heard a muted gasp from behind her as her lover saw they had been found out.

Cora looked at Emma, her gaze cold but piercing, demanding Emma's sole attention. "So my Dear" Cora smiled, but the action didn't travel to her eyes, Emma had the distinct impression she was looking at a dangerous reptile, a snake or crocodile, that sat very still, waiting for an opportunity to strike. "You seem to be getting on well with my Daughter, _very_ well indeed"

Emma's mouth was very dry, she tried to swallow. When she spoke her voice didn't hold the strength she wanted, "I enjoy Regina's company very much thank you. You raised her to become a wonderful woman."

Cora recognised the compliment, but also knew it was just lip service, and her smile never faltered, her face an unreadable mask. Looking at that face, the painted mask, Emma knew exactly where Regina had learned to school her features and hide her true self. The only difference was Cora's eyes were dead, Regina's sparked and always gave her away.

Emma felt a presence at her side and knew the brunette had joined her, posing a united front for her Mother to see. Emma shot a glance towards her lover, she could see fear and desperation dancing in her brown eyes, although Regina's face was impassive and completely inanimate.

"Ah, how nice. " The older woman offered up. "Hoping to protect this one a little better than the last one are you?"

Emma felt the magic spark from Regina, but she didn't say a word, just glared at her Mother.

The older woman took it as an invitation to keep speaking, "So Emma, is your relationship with Regina normal? You see I know Regina is damaged, she has issues with loving people and relinquishing control. I'm sure you must have noticed by now."

Cora idly studied her finger nails, not looking up at Emma, as if she was discussing something as mundane as the weather, rather than her own Daughter.

Emma hated this woman in front of her, she was smug and self-assured and she was hurting Regina, despite Regina's best efforts to hide the emotions. Emma decided to stay silent, any words would give the woman more ammunition and Emma didn't want to give anything further away.

"I imagine she likes playing games, likes to dominate, maybe even inflict pain?"

Emma felt Regina tense beside her, the description was too close to that of their love making last night to have been a coincidence.

Cora continued regardless, "That I'm sure is a nod to her childhood and her appreciation of how I brought her up. She thrived on the pain, and wishes to make someone else feel it and love it like she does. It is _so_ satisfying to hold the power isn't it Dear?"

Cora turned to smile at Regina, who was trying not to allow her face to become red, whether from embarrassment or her battle within herself over her continued silence Emma wasn't sure.

And Emma felt sick, how a mother could discuss abusing their child so calmly, mentioning it like it was nothing and smiling at the memory. The blonde was well aware Cora was probing, trying to rattle either woman to confessing something. The older woman wanted to discover what fuelled the events of last night, was it lust and desire, or was it something more.

She continued to spew words, "And I'm sure she is very good at it, isn't she Emma? Very skilled at hurting while in the name of love?" And Cora chuckled to herself at that, " _So_ very my Daughter, despite her best efforts to distance herself from me."

"Then there is the reason for her dominance." Cora continued. "I'm sure she just rebels against you taking the upper hand in bed, always needs to be the one in control. I suspect that stems from her husband's treatment of her in the bedchamber, never wanting to be forced and manipulated again, isn't that right Regina?"

Emma shuddered, how could a mother send her daughter into a relationship like that? She had offered her to an older man, knowing what was going to happen. And Cora might barter with sex, having removed her own heart so she viewed it as a physical arrangement, but Regina had been so much younger, softer and delicate. She deserved better but The King had taken her sweetness and naivety and broken it. It made Emma feel like crying.

Cora rejoiced at the look on Emma's face, there were feelings at play here and she knew for certain her daughter had given her the trump card again. She could use the blonde woman to get Regina to behave.

"Don't be sad Emma, what's done is done. And it has made Regina into the person she is now, one you get to enjoy. So really you should be thanking me."

Emma went to step forward, she was going to confront the woman and make her stop. She couldn't stand by any longer but she found a restraining hand on her arm. Regina tugged her back gently but even she couldn't hold her tongue any longer. She was being pushed, and she knew it, but her Mother had always been able to use words to cut and wound her and now was no exception.

"What has my past got to do with Emma? Why are you here?" Regina snapped, hating how she revealed her Mother had got to her in her tone.

"I decided to bring our meeting forward, time is running away from us. But I see you have become distracted Regina, losing focus again."

Cora's smile sent chills down Emma's spine.

"I would hate to have to intervene."

And Cora looked at Emma, appraising her, and nodded once before she disappeared from the end of the pathway, leaving Regina shaking in anger and Emma puzzled.

"Where did she go?" Emma looked incredulously at the dissipating smoke.

"She only wanted me to know she knows." Regina sagged and Emma was supporting her in an instant.

"But why? What does she gain from that?"

"It is a game Emma, she gets to know that I'm worried. She wants to see what I'll do next so she can plan a counter move or mock it, knowing Mother it will probably be both."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Protect you and Henry. Mother knows I value very little, but she has obviously been watching and knows what I do value and has seen that it is you and probably our son. You have no idea of the danger I have just put you in."

And Regina ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes against the tears she felt.


	24. Telling the Truth

More regular updates planned.

Thank you for the reviews, to read lovely words and that this story is appreciated keep me going

* * *

Knowing Cora knew about them suddenly changed all their plans. The plan to wait and tell Henry was no longer sensible, if Cora told Henry or Snow before Emma did there would be even more bad feeling than there already was. They needed to be honest and have everyone on their side, because if there was even a hint of discontent Cora would sense it and use it against them. She would be ruthless and try and divide them, and Regina knew it was a fragile truce, only held together for Emma's sake. If forced to take a side Snow would pick family every time. And among her many talents, Cora could be forceful.

They needed to be united, and hope that Cora couldn't fight the battle on two sides. She might beat Rumple or Regina but they hoped not both. They would be in greater trouble if she did somehow manage to get hold of The Dark One's dagger, but Regina recognised they couldn't sway the Imp. She was certain he believed his protection was adequate, she would have to accept that. She couldn't worry about things she had no control over. She had enough to worry about in her own life anyway.

So this morning they had rushed to Emma's apartment, the plan hasty but that they needed to tell both Henry and The Charming couple. The blonde had bolted upstairs to get Henry while Regina sat on the sofa nervously crossing and re-crossing her legs.

Emma moved up the stairs knowing she was going to upset her parents. She was going to be honest with them but first she had to be honest with her son. She just hoped her parents would understand why she had to tell Henry first. It didn't help that she was concerned Henry wouldn't listen, he was still confused and upset with both his mother's but she absolutely dreaded her parents' reaction.

She thought about yesterday, how she had tried to speak to Henry and the whispering from her parents. And she had walked away rather than dealing with them. With hindsight that wasn't the best course of action, but she had to suck it up now. What was done was done, Cora knew, and she needed to find the words to tell her family about Regina. It shouldn't be difficult, but there was so much history and bad blood. Ultimately she hoped they would be accepting, because she didn't know who she would choose if her parents pushed things. She loved them, but they quite clearly didn't understand her. Regina, for all her flaws, did. She hoped given time her parents would calm down and learn to accept this as her choice of lover.

She knew she was going to have to bite her tongue if Snow started about morality and Regina having none. Because it wasn't so long ago Snow had been sneaking out to bed a married man. Emma wondered if Snow would be able to see the similarities, it was ok for her to be with David despite his marriage and being unavailable because what they had was love. Was Emma going to tell her parents this might be love? She wasn't sure, but they had to be told something. Something tactful, which Emma struggled with at the best of times. Add in Regina who could barely be civil around Snow and Charming and Emma envisioned this turning into a car wreck. One where after lots of shouting and threats Regina might smugly walk out of the Charming's loft saying something like, "Best fuck ever" just to anger them some more.

Emma pushed thoughts like that away, she had to get Henry and tell him first. Explaining something huge to her son who wasn't really speaking to her, well the timing was worse than crappy. She had tried to reach out to him yesterday but he had rebuffed her, still not ready to forgive her. But she had had to tell him about Cora and that Regina thought he might be in danger, so she had ploughed on despite his frosty behaviour.

And after she had explained things to him, she hoped he might thaw a little, understanding she loved him and this was another measure to protect him. And that was what good parent's did, they protected their children. So she had sat beside him for a few moments, hoping that he might try and speak to her about Neal and the lie she had told. She desperately wanted to begin to smooth things over but Henry was still distant. Normally he would have asked to go to Granny's for a milkshake or asked her to double up on the video game, but he didn't and so she got up rather dejectedly and made herself a coffee.

She sipped it thoughtfully hoping Regina hadn't been late for meeting her mother. She thought back to Gold in his shop yesterday and how he had asked if she was there to see Baelfire. Would Gold really want them back together? Where was the benefit to the devious Imp if that happened? She realised that if they got back together Neal would stay in Storybrooke and that was probably all Gold cared about. Well he was going to be disappointed, a rekindled romance was not on the cards. She looked at her son who was engrossed in his video game and hoped he wasn't planning that either.

Now as she stood at the door to her parents' apartment she knew that very soon she'd find out what was going through her son's mind, so with determination she unlocked the apartment door, nodded a welcome at her parents and went to wake him up.

* * *

Henry was confused. He had been half asleep at his grandparents when Emma had come in and fully woken him and told him to get dressed quickly. She said things had changed and that Regina was waiting downstairs. So he had groggily got up, pulling on yesterday's jeans and using his hand to brush through his hair. Emma was waiting for him but she didn't look relaxed like usual. He'd often find her in the kitchen area leaning up against the counter and sipping either coffee or hot chocolate. She hadn't even taken her jacket off and the minute she saw he was ready she nodded her head to the door.

He saw Snow and Charming looking at Emma with concern, but when Snow had tried to open her mouth Emma had just shaken her head. "I'll be back up soon" was all she said as the door swung shut on them and the slightly hurt expression that covered their faces.

He followed her but his mind was spinning. He guessed whatever it was had to do with Cora after Emma had spoken to him yesterday, but he was still trying to wake up and found it hard to think straight. He remembered what Emma had said to him though. It was after school yesterday when he had been playing the PlayStation. Emma had sat next to him but he was still angry at her so he shifted away and concentrated harder on the armed man running round on the TV screen.

"Henry." Emma's voice was firm, she reminded him of his brunette mother in that moment and it surprised him.

"Yeah." He answered, still not looking at her.

"Pause the game." He recognised it as her Sheriff voice and grudgingly did as she asked.

"I know you are angry at me, and we will deal with that when you feel ready. And when you want to talk to me again you can ask me anything about Neal and our life together, I won't lie. But right now something more important has happened and I need you to listen and do as I tell you. Do you understand?"

He had never had a conversation like this with his blonde mother, and it scared him a little. He put the game controller down and turned to look at her, trying to read her face.

Emma had proceeded to tell him that Regina's mother was in Storybrooke, he had been surprised to find he had another grandmother alive. Emma had explained the woman really wasn't a grandparent like Snow and Charming, in fact she needed him to be very careful and aware all the while Cora was in town. He was going to be accompanied to and from school and that he wasn't going to meet the new addition to the family.

"I'm not a child, I can look after myself and walk to school on my own." He had argued, he felt he was being punished for ignoring Emma in New York and being molly coddled unnecessarily.

Emma knew the easiest way to get Henry to understand so she told him, "Regina's mother isn't a nice lady, in fact you would know her as The Queen of Hearts."

"Really?" He scrunched his face thinking of the story he knew. One with heads rolling as the crazy lady shouted, "Off with their heads!"

He thought back to the time his Mom had been recovering in the jail cell and had mentioned her mother to him. He hadn't picked up on it then but now he thought back to what had been said. _Mother wanted it_ was what his Mom had said, Regina's wishes had been ignored.

The Queen from Alice in Wonderland was portrayed as wanting complete control and the power had unhinged her. He suspected there was some truth in the tale, so he knew why Emma was being so serious.

"Why is she here? Is she visiting Mom?" He was concerned for his brunette mother, he hoped his grandmother wasn't here to force her into anything else she didn't want to do. And Emma heard it in his voice and she smiled warmly at him. He wanted to grin back, it would be easy to relax back into the way things usually were, but he held firm.

"She has seen Regina a few times." Emma told him honestly.

"Few more than me then." He sulked, he had wanted to go round to see his brunette mother earlier but had been told no. He had wanted to speak to her about Neal, it might be insensitive but he knew Emma's opinion was biased and he wanted to talk to someone he trusted. Snow and Charming were ok, but they tended to see things in a very two dimensional way or treat him like a child. He wanted to be allowed to speak openly, raise his concerns and knew Regina would be honest and not just tell him, "It will be alright in the end."

"Henry your Mom loves you, but she is concerned about her mother. There are things Cora wants, and Regina is worried she would use you to get them. She thinks distance is best until Cora leaves town. It is only to protect you, and I agree with her."

"Is she really that bad?" Henry asked.

"Yeah Kid, I'm afraid she is."

"But why would she hurt me, I'm her family." Henry just couldn't understand.

"She hurt Regina and she was her own daughter. She doesn't care about family, all she cares about is magic and power. She won't stop until she has what she wants and none of us want you to get caught in the middle."

"How long will she be staying?" He asked.

"We don't know, hopefully only a few more days." But Emma couldn't quite meet his eye.

His superpower pinged, he knew something was being skirted round. "You're planning something aren't you?"

"Nothing that you need to be concerned with." He saw how Emma hated that he could read her so well and he saw she still struggled with being the authoritive parent figure. If his brunette mother was here she'd have handled this with ease and he missed her confidence that reassured him and let him know everything would be alright.

But this was Emma, so he pushed his luck, "But you know I'm great at planning, this could be a new Operation."

"No. You are not getting involved. Promise me Henry, it is really important."

Henry recognised that Emma wasn't going to back down or fall for his childish pout this time. He nodded his acceptance but didn't say anything else. He had so much to think about, things like getting to know his Dad and if he could sneak off to see his other Mother. So he sat quietly with his thoughts, pretending his PlayStation was his only worry and after a few minutes Emma left him on the sofa. He used the controller to scroll through the menus until he found an easy level that he could do without much effort. Soon his soldier was running through the battlefield on the TV screen while he puzzled out what he could do to help.

He hadn't come up with much, but then he thought he had time. Now as he walked down the stairs, seeing the tense set of his blonde mother's shoulders in front of him, he was upset with himself he hadn't managed to form a plan.

* * *

As Regina sat on the couch she felt how tired she was and her nerves were frayed from the efforts of the past week. Her mind was not quite as sharp as she'd like it to be as such a momentous event loomed. She felt how dry her mouth was as she swallowed.

This was so far removed from the way Regina wanted to tell Henry, but they knew they had to tell him. She knew how he had reacted to being told lies previously, he needed to be told the truth, the problem with that was both women didn't know the truth themselves. In another set of circumstances it might be laughable but neither of them felt much like laughing today. They were still trying to figure out what was happening between them, whether the feelings were genuine and as deep as they felt and now they had to convey that to their eleven year old son.

What the brunette did know was that this was more than sex and without mentioning anything physical that was what they were going to tell him. That they had found comfort in each other's company and were exploring going out as a couple.

She had no intention of letting Henry know that it had all started because of a drunken argument that lead to months of aggression fuelled sexual romps. Even if he had questions, she was not prepared to answer anything of that nature. He might be a smart child, but he was still a child. He believed in love and she hoped the notion of desire and sexual conquests was still alien to him, she hoped he was still her innocent little boy.

She hoped Henry could trust her and see she was happy, that it was Emma that made her happy. She didn't know what would happen if Henry refused to accept this union, it would break her heart to have to pick between Emma and her young prince. But she pushed thoughts like that away, they had to tell him first. If he reacted badly she would have to turn her back on Emma, but she was hoping he would listen to them both and be able to see this was serious to them.

It didn't help she was nervous about the relationship. It was new and it had been so long since she had real feelings for a lover, but she wanted her son to realise that it wasn't a game The Evil Queen was playing. Sitting on the sofa she ran her hand through her hair before tucking it behind her ear and placing her hands in her lap. She clasped them together to keep them from wandering. Her nerves were definitely getting worse as she waited for Emma to return with Henry.

She was invested and Emma was important to her but she wasn't prepared to lie to her son. She couldn't promise Henry things would work out, because sometimes they didn't and it was no-one's fault. She could only hope they would and that both she and Emma could conquer their fear of relationships and make this work, no-one wanted to deal with the fall out if it went wrong.

And if it did go wrong, well Regina could promise Henry that he would always come first and that he wouldn't be treated any differently by either of his mother's. If they failed at this, he wouldn't be made to suffer. They were adults and they had moved past trapping him in the middle. She didn't want to dwell on that version of the future though, so she shifted in her seat to seek out a distraction from her thoughts.

Regina looked round the room to try and break the internal monologue she was having, one that was circular and just kept repeating its doubts and adding to her nerves. It didn't work as she saw photos of Emma and Henry together and her heart clenched knowing how important they both were to her. She could be moments away from damaging things with her son or losing her lover.

And she knew she was far from perfect but Emma seemed to accept her with her temper and anger management issues and that meant so much to her. She knew it was unlikely she'd find someone else who was so accepting, even if she lived another sixty years. She knew this thing between them was a rare thing, she had been given a chance and might even be daring to dream that this could be her happy ending. But it could never be that without her son's acceptance.

Before the idea of a happily ever after could form properly the fear took hold again, telling her it could all be snatched away. She trusted Emma, but she wasn't sure she deserved this and it was as she was moving to stand and look out the window to try and calm down and quieten the voices that the door to the apartment opened.

Regina sat back down as Emma motioned for Henry to sit in the chair. The blonde then sank down as she took her place next to the brunette on the couch. Regina looked across at Emma and saw her set her jaw in determination. She breathed a sigh of relief, Emma the Sheriff, Emma the Saviour was sat next to her. It wasn't Emma the runner, the one who ducked out when things got tough and she took strength from that.

Henry looked warily between his two mothers. They had sat close together on the couch and looked fearful. He knew something was up, but he was still confused and upset. He never thought Emma would lie to him but she had. He was rebuilding things with his Mom too but occasionally things were still strained and he hadn't seen her for nearly a week. He looked at her closely as he sat opposite them and saw her hair wasn't quite perfect and her eyes looked a little dull. He knew instinctively she was tired and stressed and it worried him.

He didn't know how he felt now that Rumpelstiltskin was his grandfather and he had enjoyed talking to his father in New York and on the journey home, but even Henry knew it was more like talking to his friend Nick rather than a parent. Neal had lots of life experience and stories to tell him, and he was fascinated by them, but he recognised that taking him to school and feeding him three times a day weren't things his father would think of. He lacked experience and seemed happier being a friend and confidant to Henry. He'd buy ice cream and comics and they'd laugh and rough house but Henry could already sense Neal was out of his depth.

He thought back to yesterday when Emma had told him Regina loved him but to keep him safe she needed to stay away. But now she was here and he felt the tension in the usually relaxed apartment space. He began to realise something was very wrong, something serious was developing. The silence was horrible, he wished one of the women would speak. They sat looking at each other for a few seconds more before he forced the issue, unable to take it anymore.

"Mom are you ok?" He asked.

She smiled at him, but he saw it wasn't natural and he knew she was struggling. "We need to tell you something Henry."

She hadn't answered his question but he felt the tension coming from her and wanted to try and calm her. This wasn't how his brunette mother behaved, something had rattled her and he didn't like it at all. He wondered what his grandmother had said or done.

"Sure, I'm listening." He told them both, leaning forward to show he was taking this seriously but smiling at Regina to try and relax her. He knew his Mom wouldn't avoid him unless it was serious and the fact she was here now meant there must have been another serious development. He rarely saw his Mom agitated, but she was now and he wanted to show her he could be trusted and he would be there to help with anything she needed.

He watched Emma reach out and take Regina's hand gently and use her thumb to rub soothing circles. And he saw the gratitude in the soft look the brunette gave Emma. A look she sometimes shared with him, one that always let him know he was loved. He saw how closely they were sat on the couch.

As Regina opened her mouth to tell him things fell into place in his head and suddenly the last few months made sense. The days out, the dinners together, the teasing that he now realised was flirting. The care giving and support they gave to each other and arguments that lasted hours instead of days. His Moms were together, they were sitting closer and sharing bodily contact for comfort.

Something must have shown on his face as he tipped his head and observed for a moment more. Emma's eyes locked with his and she smiled softly at him.

And just in the relaxed look on Henry's face, Emma knew things would be ok. And she was thankful Regina had raised him, because she had raised a considerate and compassionate young man. And the young man opposite them suddenly cracked his face into a beaming smile.

Regina stopped talking and sat shell shocked as she saw realisation dawn on her son's face. Could she be this lucky, could Henry accept her wanting a woman and the woman she wanted was Emma, his biological mother? It looked like he had made the connection and wasn't shouting or getting up to leave the room.

"Henry..." She started, and his eyes swung to her, she had expected him to be hostile, she had expected this to be much harder. But she was able to see something like joy on his face, his eyes were dancing and the tirade of abuse she thought might come just didn't. He wasn't pouting, he wasn't angry, but he also hadn't said anything.

She tried again, "Emma and I, we're"

"Together." He finished for her and looked across to confirm with Emma who nodded at him.

"How long?" He asked, suspecting this had been going on for months. And he wasn't angry, he had suspected something after all, but he didn't know either of his mothers were into women and he thought strong friendship between two angry and stubborn women was all it was.

Both women looked at each other, not sure what to say. Regina quirked an eyebrow and Emma nodded again, letting her answer.

"We only realised what was between us just before you went to New York. That was when we both agreed we could take a chance on a relationship, but we have been getting closer for a few months. We wanted to be sure we both felt this way and that we wanted each other before we told people and you are the first person we have told."

"Kid," Emma began, shifting closer to Regina and grasping her hand tighter, "I know you have had questions recently, and I'm sorry I haven't answered things, but I hope you understand why now. We weren't certain what this was, whether it could last. We didn't lie on purpose, it was because we needed time and space to explore how we felt."

"No actually I get that you needed time." Henry told her, "I can imagine you were both confused because you are meant to be enemies and had been fighting each other before the curse broke. And I know how you feel about the town intruding, that grandma and Ruby always have an opinion and why you'd want privacy. I am a little disappointed you didn't trust me"

Emma looked at Regina whose face had fallen, but Henry hadn't finished. He reached out to his brunette mother and took her other hand and continued,

"But I do understand. You both think I'm still a kid and don't understand love and sex."

Regina looked horrified at her son, but Emma smirked.

"What?" He asked, looking at them both.

"Your Mom doesn't think it is appropriate to talk about sex, especially with you." Emma told him.

"But sex is natural if you love each other." Henry told them, "Grandma and Gramps love each other and"

Emma cut him off with glare as Regina clamped her hand tight. "Enough." The brunette whispered, her face heating up in a blush. She didn't need any details about that, what Emma had told her months ago was still a bad memory.

Emma thought the fact she had walked in on her parent's was bad enough, it appeared she needed to have a sensible conversation with them about keeping it behind locked doors if Henry also knew.

"Mom, you're happy aren't you?" Henry asked and she nodded at him, the smile natural and no longer strained. She still looked tired, but Henry saw a weight had been lifted from her with telling him and his acceptance of what he had been told. He did wonder why they thought he might react badly, did they not understand he only wanted them happy and to tell the truth? If they loved each other, and even he could see the change in their relationship in the last few months and that their commitment to each other was love, then he would embrace it with them. He knew both his mothers were broken emotionally and needed his support in this.

"Wow." Emma commented, and Henry noticed there was still tension in her frame, "That went easier than I thought. I hope telling my parent's is as smooth." She smiled ruefully at the brunette who leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Uh Guys." Henry spoke up and stood to wedge himself between the two women so he could hug them and have them reciprocate.

"I think Grandma already knows. When I was talking about Neal last night she kept telling me not to get my hopes up and suggesting a different topic of conversation and she has been tapping me for information about the two of you for weeks now. Almost like she knew and was looking for something she could confront you with."

"OK." Emma said, "I have questions about two things you have just said. You need to know I want to be with Regina and give this relationship every opportunity. That means there is no chance of me getting back with your Dad. You understand that don't you?"

"Yes I get that, to be honest I think you are more mature than him. He could be a good friend but not necessarily relationship material. I know Mom is much better for you. I'm not sure he is Dad material either, but I'd like to be able to spend time with him to find out. I'd like to give him a chance. Can I?"

Regina had tears in her eyes as she looked at her boy, only he really wasn't a boy anymore. He was sensible and thoughtful and showed so much maturity and she could only nod down at him as she felt the water run down her face. And Henry reached up and wiped them away for her before kissing her cheek and hugging her tighter.

"I missed you." He whispered and she gave up trying to keep the tears in and pulled him on to her lap and buried her face in his hair. Emma watched, knowing her lover was so tired, her nerves about telling Henry and the fight with her mother had got on top on her and she needed to cry. And she was so glad Henry understood and let Regina breakdown on his shoulder. She shuffled in and encompassed them both, kissing Regina's bowed head and whispering gently that it would all be alright.

After a few minutes Regina picked her head up and murmured an apology, and they all moved apart just a little. Emma tapped Henry's shoulder and when he looked up she asked him, "You really think Snow knows about Regina and I being together?"

Regina stopped Henry from answering with her own confession. "She does."

Emma looked at her lover, not understanding. Her initial reaction was to anger, but they were together and she knew you listened to each other and tried not to over-react until you knew all the information. She just tilted her head in a gesture for the older woman to continue, praying there was a good explanation.

"You remember when I was at the Sheriff Station healing? And we had some very honest and open conversations? Well it appears those conversations weren't as private as we first thought. Your Mother overheard then."

Emma nodded, internally thankful that it made sense and she hadn't had her confidence betrayed. She didn't think Regina would betray her, but she had needed to be sure.

But Henry stood and pulled away from them both. He turned back to them with his own tears shining in his eyes and said, "That was months ago, how can Grandma know about you two being together if this is new?"

The implication was heavy, he felt he had caught them in a lie and he waited, desperately hoping for something to prove him wrong. And Emma knew what they told him next was massively important, she hoped she didn't mess this up. She took a deep breath and dived in.

"We only agreed this was serious and we both felt the same last week. We had been dancing round it for months and had slept together several times before that. That is what Snow overheard."

Regina kicked Emma at the blunt talk, mentioning the vulgarity of the physical act but Emma turned to her and said, "I lied to him about Neal, I told him he was dead and look what happened. I'm not prepared to lie to him again. We need to be honest about this if we want a good relationship with our son. I'm sorry."

"So you have slept together?" Henry asked, pulling a face.

"Henry I am not prepared to have that discussion with you. All you need to know is I love your Mom and we have expressed it physically. End of conversation." Emma was slightly pink as she flushed, Regina had bowed her head completely, her embarrassment clear.

"Do you love Emma?" He asked the brunette and he gently clasped her chin to force her to look at him. Seeing he wasn't repulsed that they had consummated the relationship already helped Regina be able to speak. But she didn't need to vocalise anything, her smile told him all he needed to know.

"Yes Henry I do."

"Well as long as you love each other, and I don't hear or see it, I guess that is ok." Henry nodded to himself and both the women hoped that would be the end of the awkward questions about their bedroom activities. Know Henry it probably wasn't, he was inquisitive and still young, not understanding discretion and appropriate topics of conversation, but for now they could move on.

And moving on required them going upstairs to sort things out with the Charming couple, who Emma now understood had been trying to get her to confess to her affair for weeks. Her mother had been probing not for information, but to give her the opportunity to be honest. And she had continued to lie and sneak around and now she had to ask them to forgive her for that and to accept Regina as her lover. She walked upstairs with a heavy heart, but the brunette was on one side of her and Henry on the other, giving her support and love.

She opened the door to the loft and her parents were still in the kitchen. She held Regina's hand on one side and Henry's on the other and she looked at her Mother over the counter.

"You know, don't you?" Emma said.

"About you being with Regina? Yes we know." Snow told her. It wasn't a warm conversation, but it wasn't shouting and threats and Emma wondered how disappointed her parents were. They were being civil and understanding and maybe that was because Henry and Regina were present. If she had been alone would the conversation have been different? It didn't matter, they were having it now.

"Well that was easier than I imagined." Emma tried for humour, but no-one else in the room found it amusing.

"It isn't easy Emma, it was a huge shock. And even now, you are asking a huge amount of trust and forgiveness from us." Snow levelled her daughter with a stern look. The Princess continued, "To find that she corrupted you was hard for us to accept."

Something in Emma reared up, a need to defend and protect Regina, because the accusation was false and it really annoyed her. In fact she was pissed off, her parents were so blinkered and still imagined she was some naïve child who Regina had taken home and done unspeakable things to.

"I was pretty corrupted before Regina!" Emma snapped, her voice raising and taking a step forward in an aggressive position, "I'm not a child, you need to realise that. I have my own history and made my own decisions and some of them were questionable and often mistakes. This," Emma stressed their joined hands, "isn't something I consider a mistake."

Emma was breathing heavily and staring her parents down. And they had shocked looks on their faces, not expecting the conversation to have deteriorated so quickly. Snow looked upset, Charming had just set his jaw in a determined way.

Henry didn't like the tone of the conversation, it was rapidly slipping into accusations and barely concealed insults so he offered his own insight, "They make each other happy." Henry told his Grandparents. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Henry it isn't that simple." David told the boy, relaxing a little and breaking his gaze from his daughter.

"But it should be." The young man argued back. "Look at them, they are stronger together."

"Henry you don't understand. In the old world your Mother did horrendous things, things we can't forget." David tried to make him see their side.

"But she isn't that person. Do you think if she was Emma would have fallen in love with her?" He didn't see the look that passed between Snow and Charming, the fact love was being mentioned was new. Snow had an idea feelings were involved but not that it had become so serious. Henry continued oblivious to the bomb shell he had dropped on the Charming couple.

"She has changed, she doesn't want to hurt anyone. Can't you see that?"

Regina had stood by and listened to both Emma and her son defend her, her heart swelling, but knew that she needed to say something herself. She couldn't react with anger, she knew Emma was fast losing her temper and that things needed to calm down before something ugly was said.

"Snow, Charming, thank you for letting me into your family space today. I know words probably won't sway you, but words are all I have at the moment. Given time I hope my actions will convince you, but for now all I can say is that I have changed. But I understand your hesitation, so all I can promise is that Emma means as much to me as Henry does and I would die rather than hurt them."

Emma had at least got herself under control and her breathing had levelled out. She saw how upset her mother was, they had been so close during the curse as flatmates and now it was all unravelling. Emma didn't want to issue an ultimatum, she wanted things to work out naturally and for Regina to be accepted, but she also knew her parents were stubborn. She didn't want to hurt them, but she felt for every second they were talking that became more and more unlikely.

She took a deep breath and told them, "Guys I'm sorry I hid this and didn't tell you sooner. But I struggle with relationships and I didn't know how you would feel about me dating a woman, let alone that it is Regina. I was cowardly and I'm sorry. I didn't tell you until I was certain this was something special, and please believe me when I tell you it is. Regina makes me happy, she understands me and I want to explore this. I'd love to have your support, but you need to know that even if you don't support it, I won't give her up."

Regina knew looking smug was wrong, so she tried to keep her face neutral, but inside she was rejoicing. Emma was fighting for her, finally someone was choosing her. She saw Snow look over at her, glaring at her in a way that held blame that yet again the brunette had managed to drive a wedge and divider between mother and daughter.

Emma caught the look and spoke again, "Please don't blame Regina for this, you both know you can't help who you fall for, or how the heart picks and chooses a kindred spirit. No-one planned this, it just happened."

Charming still wanted to be the protective father, "She has magic and is dangerous. Are we just meant to forget that? What if you have an argument and she loses her temper? She often used to, there were dead guards and burned villages trailing behind her. She could vaporise you when angry. Don't you see we are just concerned?"

"I need you to trust me over this." Emma told him firmly, "The Town recognise I am trustworthy, they made me Sheriff."

"This isn't the same." Snow warned her, if you mess up as Sheriff the consequences aren't usually life threatening."

"Enough!" Emma was fed up going round and round, "Regina isn't a threat to my life either."

"Snow." Regina tried again, "There isn't a promise I can make that you would believe right now. But I do have a peace offering, something to show good faith. I plan to leave your apartment to search for my Mother's heart. If I find it and bring it back here it will give us some leverage, some power in her game. Will you then accept my intentions are good?"

David spoke up, "How do we know it is her heart? It could be a trick."

"It isn't a trick," the brunette told him, "but so you can check the heart I will bring back will beat, it will be enchanted with magic so will glow and will also be somewhat black because of the dark deeds done by my Mother. There are few hearts that will look like that, you can be certain it is hers."

"Wouldn't Gold's heart or your own also fit that description?" Snow pondered and Regina wanted to throw her hands up in the air with frustration. Emma glanced at her and it was for Emma she didn't snap at them. She took her time and held her tongue so the next statement wasn't dripping malice.

"I couldn't remove Gold's heart, he would never let anyone that close, and if I must I will remove my own heart when I come back to show you. Does that sound like a fair solution?" The brunette wished the two idiots would stop making things difficult, they all needed to get on, time was slipping away. Their plan was twofold, to try and warn Gold and to find Cora's heart. They needed to start and it would be easier if Snow and Charming were onside and helped.

Snow and Charming looked at each other and David squeezed her hand to indicate he was prepared to try but that it was her decision. Snow had to admit she had seen changes in her Ex-Step Mother, she didn't know if it was enough, but it was more than she had ever seen before. If Emma and Henry could trust, she would trust their judgement and push her doubts away. She smiled tightly at Regina before announcing to everyone, "So what's the plan?"

* * *

Regina had left Snow to deal with the Imp, she knew she would have to be the one to find the heart. Cora would have found somewhere safe to keep it, it wouldn't be with her. But she would have brought it to this realm, Regina was sure of that. To leave it behind would mean it was completely unguarded and Regina wasn't sure of the consequences of shifting realm without a heart. If it was even possible because to have you heart beating in one world and your soul residing in a different places was probably the limit of even the most powerful magic. So she was certain the heart was here in Storybrooke, it was just a matter of getting to it. At least her Mother was distracted by her own hunt for the dagger and that gave them a slim advantage, but they needed to look quickly.

Things were unravelling quickly now, her Mother knew about Emma and had taken the potion to use on Neal from her vault. Regina had arrived earlier and found it missing. Obviously her mother failed to trust her and was now operating on her own and Regina knew that time was short.

She had to take every opportunity they had and she could only hope it would be enough. At the hasty meeting this morning at the Charming's loft apartment they had quickly decided the best way forward would be to locate Cora's heart and to warn Gold Cora was going after his son to get to his dagger.

Regina hoped he would be more receptive of their warning than he had been yesterday, but she doubted it. He was arrogant and always worked on his own, they could offer to help him but he would always believe his ideas, his plans were best.

Cora discovering the Sheriff leaving the Mills mansion that morning left Regina feeling sick. Her Mother knew who the flowers were from and that she had lied about their relevance. She knew Emma's name, and the brunette had a pretty good idea where she had learned that information. Regina shuddered as she thought how her mother must have been watching them in bed together last night.

She had seen the anger and disappointment on her Mother's face that morning, and knew she wouldn't be spared from a violent backlash when the time came. She could only hope to stand in between her Mother and everyone else, shielding them from it as best she could.

She hated that her Mother now had information that she had been trying desperately to hide. Knowing the older woman was relentless in her pursuits meant it was only a matter of time before she was bound to try and use it to gain some leverage.

She needed to concentrate so she buried her fear and unhelpful thoughts as she held the strand of hair between her fingers. It was her mother's and would lead them to either her mother or if the spell was enacted properly, a part of her. Regina had taken the hair from a cloak Cora had left behind in her haste to bump into Neal and feed him the potion.

In the still air of her vault Regina set to work. With the right words, some herbs and less pleasant ingredients she added the hair into a mixture so she was left with a thick viscous liquid.

She then poured the mixture onto a handkerchief where it seeped into the fabric leaving behind a dark stain on the crisp white material. She let it drop to the floor, only it didn't touch the floor, it hovered inches from the cold stone and then slowly it moved upwards until it fluttered before the brunette.

The locator spell was ready, she flicked her wrist while whispering words to keep it focused on her Mother's heart and not the actual owner itself. There would be no going back if she was caught by the older woman. The white material began to bob through the air, leading up the stairs and the brunette followed it with grim determination on her face.

She was taken far into the forest, where she had to avoid tree roots and branches that threatened to scratch her clothes or pierce her skin. She was glad she had put on a long sleeved blazer and knee high boots, if she had been in heels the journey would have been far worse.

She came to a clearing and looked over the earth. The dirt was dry, most of it covered with dead leaves and Regina could tell it was densely packed except for a patch that had been recently dug over. Even without the handkerchief dropping to the ground and spasming against that area of ground she knew that was where she needed to dig to be successful.

She dropped to her knees and scrambled in the dirt with her hands. She wondered briefly what her mother would say seeing her on her knees in the dirt like a pauper. She dismissed it, her hands were grimy and the soil was getting stuck behind her finger nails, but none of it mattered. She was finally going to have some kind of leverage with her mother and as her hand found purchase on the object she was seeking she breathed a sigh of relief.

She felt the warmth and magic pulsing and she grasped the organ, pulling it from the cold and damp earth and staring at it. She knew her own heart was black, she looked at her Mother's heart in a comparison, but soon gave it up. She didn't have time and it was pointless, she was better than her Mother now and that was what mattered. Her heart would begin to lighten given time.

She had to believe that so she clutched the heart to her chest and pulled her magic to her and disappeared from the forest and into Snow's apartment. They had more work to do and further plans to make, she just hoped the luck that followed the Charming's would hold.


	25. Holding the Power

So I am getting on with this, I hope you are still enjoying it.

Hope to get the next few chapters done soon.

Thanks for the responses, always appreciate seeing favs/follows and reviews.

* * *

"I'm going out for breakfast!" Neal shouted as he opened the front door to leave. If he was honest he didn't want to be staying in his father's house any longer than he had to. He had agreed to come to this town, and was staying with his father and Belle but things were still strained and awkward. Belle was lovely and had been nothing but welcoming, but his father had never understood him. And they had spent so much time apart, they were practically strangers really, sharing blood but nothing else.

"Bae, wait." He heard the tap of the cane and stopped in the doorway as his father hobbled into view.

"Be careful." The older man told him.

"I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a boy anymore." He tried to soften the remark, he didn't mean to dredge up the past, but he just needed his father to understand that he was used to making his own decisions and having his own space.

"People may hurt you to get to me." Rumple warned him, "And magic is weaker here, I don't have the reach I would like."

"I agreed to come here, to see proof you have changed." Neal told him, "I have left my life in New York and put my life on hold. I did that for you, for me and lastly for Henry. I want to demonstrate my desire for a relationship with him and see if there is a chance to rebuild things with you. But for this to work between us I need you to trust me."

He looked long and hard at his father, before continuing to speak, "I'll be fine, I'm only at the Diner and won't be gone too long. Maybe we can meet up later, have a drink? What's the bar like in town?"

"Over crowded and overpriced." His father told him. "Rowdy and raucous too."

"Sounds good to me." Neal grinned making the older man roll his eyes. He continued, "I just want to relax and talk, it has been over a hundred years and this is a different world. You don't know me anymore but we can work on that, on learning to trust each other."

Gold watched his son walk away down the path and wondered what it would take for him to stay in town, for him to believe his father had changed and did truly love him. He needed to communicate to him that from the minute he had let go of Bae's hand all those years ago he had been in turmoil. That event had refocused his life and on that fateful day he learned how much he valued family. He wouldn't stop until Baelfire knew he could be trusted once again.

* * *

Cora appeared outside the diner and watched the young man eat his breakfast. He was at a two person table near the door and hadn't been there long as there was still an almost full cup of coffee and over half a plate of food on the table.

She looked at the chequered floor, the neon sign, and the plastic table cloths. The smell of grease hung in the air and she wondered why this place always seemed so busy. It held no appeal to her, she liked the finer things and nothing about this place was fine. However it was frequented by Rumple's son, so she would stomach the place so she could attain her goal.

She entered the restaurant and slid into the seat opposite him. She looked at his features as he lifted his head and stared at her, she was looking for similarities to Rumple, but she didn't find what she was looking for. There was no hard edge in his eyes, the boy was unremarkable, there was no magic in him and Cora's smile grew. He wouldn't be able to taste the potion, he wouldn't recognise the effects until he was completely submerged, it really was too easy.

"Good Morning." She greeted. "Baelfire isn't it? I knew your father long ago." She told him.

"I go by Neal now." The man told her, he had stopped eating and was watching her wearily. She was used to less than warm welcomes so she just kept her poise and carried on speaking. She knew she only needed to distract him a little to add the potion to the man's coffee cup.

"I am so pleased you have been reunited, your father used to speak so warmly about you."

Neal just had a non-committing hum in response.

"I used to know Rumple quite well, I would be honoured to get to know you too." She held out her hand and he took it, studying her face as he tried to sum her up. Cora recognised that he might not have magic, he might not have the darkness that Rumple did, but he did have a strong sense of self preservation and didn't trust easily.

"I'm Cora." She introduced herself and the handshake was brief.

Knowing he was new in town and that his Father was a deal making Dark One, Neal didn't know what to make of this woman. His father's warning rang in his ears, but he was a man now and had seen many changes and often lived through bad situations. He had enough experience in his life and was confident in his ability to read people and react before things became out of hand.

He didn't know much about any of the residents of this town except that it was a twisted version of the Enchanted Forest. He didn't know who they had been or what their stories were as he had left that place so long ago. But his gut was telling him something was off with this woman.

All he knew about Storybrooke was that it was full of bizarre and weird fairy-tale characters and that could be the reason this woman disturbed him. There was the possibility this woman was genuine, but she also could have had a bad deal with his father and might be here to get some revenge. She could just be the local weirdo who spent her day talking to strangers, he had seen loads of them in New York, they were mostly harmless and sat in the park talking to pigeons. But he was still going to tread carefully with her.

The woman didn't look crazy, her dress was smart and her hair was pinned back in a tidy design. But she seemed cold and detached and it set something off inside him. Maybe she reminded him of The Dark One, there was a hint of power and control that he picked up on and reminded him of the magical side of his father.

He didn't really want to invite her to join him, he didn't want to call the waitress over to bring another cup of coffee for her to sip at. He wondered if he was being rude, was the expected norm in this town that the men were chivalrous and made the good and moral choices? Well he wasn't from this town, and he wanted to be left alone to eat. He settled with agreeing to meet her later once he could make enquiries about her and discover if she had some ulterior motive.

"It was nice to meet you," he began, "but I'd like to eat my breakfast now, so maybe I could join you later for a coffee?"

"Of course." Cora smiled at him and he felt unsettled again. She stood and said, "What time later?"

Cora was looking around as she waited for Neal to confirm a time, planning how this could work. Luck was with her as she was given the perfect solution, it was simple and required very little magic.

Neal answered her, "Half eleven, here?" as another customer came through the front door. Cora made sure there was a sharp gust of wind that followed them, blowing the napkin from Neal's lap. He bent down to retrieve it and with reflexes made lightning quick with magic Cora had added the mixture into his coffee cup.

When he sat back up Cora nodded her approval and said, "Half eleven would be lovely."

She didn't loiter and instead spun on her heel and walked out the door with back straight and her head high. Very soon things would fall into place.

* * *

Cora didn't wait for half eleven, she knew Neal would be pliable after drinking the potion, so she lurked outside the garish restaurant, silently stalking her prey.

She put her hand in her pocket and ran her finger over the map she had taken from Regina's vault, the one with the location of the dagger. It was a chance, but she thought it unlikely Rumple had moved it. He had only been back a few days, she had been watching and he was trying to spend time with his son. A son she was now going to use to help her.

She called out and greeted him as he left the Diner and he moved to her side willingly. _Good_ she thought, _the potion is working_. She guided him to the bench and they sat down together. To any passer-by they would look like two old friends catching up and discussing, but she was testing the strength of the potion. By asking steadily more personal and invasive questions Cora ascertained that Regina had done well and Neal would be under her control for several hours.

Thinking Regina had done well sparked something inside of her. It wasn't pride, and if it was it was immediately eclipsed by anger. How dare her daughter behave that way, cavorting with another woman and blatantly lying to her? Why her daughter could never see the easiest and best path amazed her. It was almost like Regina wanted to fail, she always made the poorest of choices.

And the Swan girl, good lord what Regina saw in her was a mystery. Cora recognised some women were attractive, money, good make up and expensive perfume coupled with fine clothes could make even ordinary girls seem striking. But Emma Swan was none of those things, she was a glorified street urchin who didn't invest in her appearance, her clothes were cheap, her hair often messy and her posture was horrendous. Her daughter could and should do better.

Just thinking of them together made the darkness in her swirl more violently, but she couldn't focus on her daughter right now. She needed to use the man sat before her and to be solely focused on him.

She pulled the folded map from her pocket, along with the book reference, another gift she had removed from her daughter's possession. As she laid the map out before Neal she coaxed him,

"I know you travelled to many far off lands when you were divided from your father, and I wondered if you had learned the secret of this map?"

Neal looked at it and nodded, it was a basic map with symbols for landmarks and from his time in Neverland he could read most maps. Captain Hook had taken him under his wing and educated him. It wasn't a typical, academic education, but the life experience had been invaluable.

"Yes I can read the map, but I doubt it will help you." He smiled a little drunkenly and Cora could see the potion was digging in deeply, it had been made a little too strong. If Rumple came along now he would know something was wrong with his son. Damn Regina, she was forever the thorn in her side, never able to do anything right.

She realised she had made a mistake and should have lead him somewhere quiet to avoid unwanted attention and any interruptions. She should have foreseen there might be a problem with the potion, but rather than blame herself she continued to place the blame for this with Regina.

Regina had mixed the potion badly, Regina should be here helping or acting as look out but was instead gallivanting with the useless blonde woman. Yes, this was Regina's fault and if she succeeded she would remind her daughter of the price of failure.

But at for the present she had to work with what she had. Knowing he was completely defenceless and would do whatever was asked of him she pressed her advantage, not knowing how long she would have.

"Why won't it help me?" She questioned.

"Because it is a fake." He beamed at her like a small child might and Cora knew she would need to keep him away from everyone, he looked like he should be in a lunatic asylum. She hoped his body would start to counter the effects soon. He was a well-built man and had eaten recently, his body should begin to repel the magic shortly and he should stop grinning like crazy person.

"How can you tell?"

"Because my father likes games, he likes to taunt people and dangle false hope before them. This is just one of his examples. You could start digging here" and he indicated the mark for the dagger, "but nothing would be there."

She had to reign in her temper, this was beyond frustrating, the information dribbling out so slowly. But she was getting the truth and put her façade in place so it would continue. She smiled at the younger man and placed her hand on his arm.

"Thank you for helping me with that, can you tell me where I might find the dagger then?" Her tone was sweet, gentle, hiding all the anger and destruction that resided in her soul waiting for a chance to tear into something. More and more that something was looking like her daughter.

"Where did you find the map?" He asked her.

"In the library, it was in an empty slot where a book should have been, a reference we found guided us there."

"That's the real clue." Neal told her, and Cora saw his eyes clear a little and the smile falter. The potion was still in control of his body, but it had a weaker hold and she was thankful. She needed him to be able to interact normally with people so no-one suspected anything was wrong with him.

"Here is the reference for the book." Cora looked at Regina's script where she had copied the number before handing over the sheet of paper. The wrath and resentment bubbled again but as Neal shook his head she swung her attention back on him.

"That is a local library reference number, do you have the ISBN so I can Google it?"

Cora looked at him like he was speaking another language, which to her and her old world ideas, he was. She had no idea what ISBN or Googling something meant but he must have seen a flash of confusion on her face because he quickly told her,

"Don't worry, I can find that out for you. My father lives with the librarian, I can pop in and create a ruse about spending time with her to get to know her. When she isn't looking I will see what book it is from the library files. After that I will meet with you to tell you."

Cora was pleased, this man was obviously used to planning and finding out information in unorthodox ways. He was a little like his father after all, devious and shifty, flirting with the darkness rather than being honest. And he had knowledge of this world that now she had cut Regina loose she needed. It was almost the perfect plan, except she didn't know how long the potion would work for so she implanted the suggestion now.

"Don't seek me out after finding the title of the book, just write it down, and place the paper on the outside window ledge. Then go about your day as you had planned, as if it was a normal day. Forget this conversation and what I have asked of you. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I can do that. I just need to get Belle a coffee as a conversation starter, then I'll go to the library and start on this for you."

Cora worried he still wouldn't bear close scrutiny, but she had to let him collect the coffee on his own and hope no-one noticed he was a little distant. She waited for him outside and decided to walk with him to the library.

She was pleased that standing up and walking arm in arm seemed to sober Neal. Whether it was the fresh air or his metabolism digesting some of the more harmful elements or just time for the effects to lessen a little she didn't care. He was soon able to walk in a straight line unaided and didn't answer her questions with the same gusto he had demonstrated earlier. His natural restraint was beginning to show itself and she felt comfortable that she could move away from him and let him walk freely.

As they made to part company she tapped the window ledge with a stone she had picked up, reminding him to put the paper there and secure it from blowing away. She walked away from Rumple's son hoping today had been fruitful. She would know in a few hours' time so she decided to be constructive with her time and visit someone else who might be useful to her before returning to the library.

* * *

Rumple listened to Snow and Charming explain what Cora wanted and that his son was going to be used against him. He was angry, letting it pinch his face and he snapped at the couple delivering the news. Cora should know better than to cross him like that.

The arrogance she was displaying if she thought she could steal his dagger, that was something he was used to with her. Even if she planned to imprison or kill him that was one thing, but to use his son to do her bidding was completely another. He was furious about it. He shooed the Princess and Shepherd out the door of his shop and flicked the sign to _closed._

He needed to find Bae, if he was under the influence of a potion like the Charmings had said he would just mix something to counter it. He expected better from Cora, but then she was far from home and without strong magic or the help of her daughter if the account Snow had told him was to be believed. Her trump card had been getting rid of him with the magic globe and that hadn't worked, so she was running out of ideas.

He picked up his cell and dialled Neal's number, hearing it ring and ring.

He told himself he didn't feel fear, he instilled it in others. But he was a little unsettled and thought about the dagger and whether it was hidden well enough. _Of course it is_ he berated himself. Rushing to it and moving it now he knew Cora was watching was more dangerous. He needed to hold his nerve and suggest she had outstayed her welcome in Storybrooke, he'd even help her realm jump again to be rid of her as long as she hadn't hurt Baelfire.

As he was moving into his backroom he heard the phone ring and looking at the caller display he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hi," his son greeted him. "Sorry I missed your call but I'm at the library with Belle, I felt it vibrate too late and it was on silent."

Rumple was not completely at ease in this world, it had technology rather than magic and he liked the old ways. He struggled with the technology which he didn't understand. Baelfire had input his number into his phone and saved it in the front menu so he could easily ring it. Terms like "the phone being on silent" and "vibrating" were alien to him. It rang and he answered it and that was the extent of his knowledge on cell phones.

Right now none of the technical babble mattered, Baelfire had returned his call and was safe. He listened as his son told him,

"I brought her a coffee after breakfast to say thanks for letting me stay and getting under her feet. And I thought I ought to get to know her a little better and that's easier without you hovering around, pretending not to listen." He chuckled and Rumple relaxed.

"How was breakfast?" He asked, picking for information.

"Good thanks, Granny makes the best hash. And Ruby wore a short shirt, making her legs look lovely. It was a nice view, that girl is a fox."

"Actually she is a wolf." His father told him in a serious tone.

"You're joking?" His son laughed.

The banter felt natural and the older man smiled. "Apart from eyeing up Ruby it was uneventful?"

He was just double checking. He doubted Cora would be so blatant in a public place, she didn't like witnesses, they could be troublesome.

"It was just breakfast, nothing else happened." The younger man rolled his eyes at the protective way his father was.

Rumple felt reassured but just needed to make one hundred percent sure everything was still fine so he asked if he could have a quick word with Belle.

"Rumple," she greeted him warmly, "How is your day going?"

"Well My Love. I hear Baelfire has brought you a gift."

"Yes, but he shouldn't have. His company is enough."

"He is a gentleman." The older man said with pride, glad that his son seemed to be embracing Belle's presence in his life.

"No really, he shouldn't have. It's Granny's coffee and tastes like dirt!" Belle laughed into the phone and he found himself smiling too. He heard Neal laughing in the background too and it set his mind completely at ease.

"Have a good day Belle, Bae and I were planning on going to The Rabbit Hole this evening, I hope that is alright? Would you like an early meal together at the Diner before that? Can you pass me back to him so I can finalise the arrangements?"

As his son came back on the line he felt grateful after all his searching he had been given the second chance he had always wanted. Things were going to be alright, Cora could plan and plot but he would protect his son.

He warmly told his son, "After you have finished swapping stories about me with Belle would you come to my shop? I have something important to tell you."

He was going to warn his son and stress that he couldn't trust anyone, Cora might be able to disguise herself but the potion had to be ingested so as long as he didn't eat or drink anything given to him by a stranger everything would be fine.

"Sure Papa." The younger man agreed and his old heart skipped at the easy way it had slipped out of his son's mouth.

* * *

Cora felt the corners of her mouth lift as she saw the piece of paper left for her flapping in the gentle breeze. She picked it up as she walked past and put it into her pocket, she would read it once she was away from the library. She didn't know if Rumple or Regina might be looking for her, or even spying on her like she spied on them.

She had decided on stealth, her instincts were to never trust anyone, and they had served her well for years. She found a deserted side street and ducked into a disused doorway. Hidden in shadow she opened the paper and saw the book title.

"Time is an illusion." She read. Underneath was scrawled the authors name and a brief summary of the contents of the book. She glanced at the words about someone called Albert Einstein and how his quote had motivated the author. She decided that was irrelevant, the title was what mattered.

Her smile broadened, this gave her a good idea where to start looking. She decided to set out immediately, she had several things she was pulling together, but this was the most important.

She felt she might finally be on the cusp of getting The Dark One's dagger and she couldn't believe Rumple had become so soft. Having lived in this world for so long he must have lost focus on his pursuit of power and magic. Or maybe it was the love of a woman and having his son back in his life that had obviously made him weak, something she never would have thought possible.

The Imp she knew was twisted and cared little for other people, only interested in what benefit they could be to him. She saw he was fading, becoming a shell of his former self, but she could only celebrate her good fortune and make sure she maximised the benefit from it.

As Cora entered the building that housed the clock face she felt the dark magic pull at her insides. She was close and could almost taste the bitterness in the air that the darkness manifested as. It only grew stronger as she climbed the stairs in the tower. She knew the item was cloaked, which would have stopped any normal person or one unskilled with magic, but she knew Rumple of old and most of his spells had been passed to her. She concentrated hard and waved her hand.

Nothing happened and she cursed. She thought again and pulled at more magic, using a different enchantment. She was rewarded with a heavy thud as something fell to the floor by her feet and with a genuine smile, one that hadn't graced her face since she pulled out her heart as a teenager, she bent to pick up the source of Rumple's power. As her hand grasped the handle she felt control and power flow through her and she caressed the metal lovingly.

"Finally." She whispered to herself.


	26. Everything Winds Up

Have the next chapter mostly written, so should get up in the next few days.

Thanks for continuing to read and review.

* * *

Henry had been driven to school. He was petulant and unimpressed as he sat with Emma in the police cruiser, but they didn't want to expose him to the more adult conversations that were going to happen. Ones about dark magic, bodily harm, even death.

He pouted all the way there, thinking he could contribute and feeling his opinions were being ignored because he was a child. He didn't understand that this was to protect him and try and prolong his childhood. Needless exposing him to grim realities wasn't something Regina, Emma, Snow or Charming wanted.

Henry was still young and believed good had to win, not knowing life could be cruel and that sometimes what was right wasn't what actually happened. They hoped his outlook wouldn't be shattered in the next few days, that his life wouldn't get turned upside down.

Emma reached over as he made to get out of the car. She placed her hand on his shoulder and held him from running into the school building.

"Don't I get a goodbye?"

"Yeah, ok, goodbye." He muttered at her, head down and not wanting to look at her.

"Don't be like that, we are doing this for your own good." She sometimes forgot he was still a child, but she was reminded now as he sulked.

"It feels like you don't trust me." He told her, looking up and searching her face.

"We trust you, it's Cora we don't trust."

He didn't see a lie, but he was frustrated none the less. It showed in his next outburst, "Then why am I here instead of with you guys!? Surely that's the safest place? You can all protect me."

"What we are doing is very dangerous Kid, and if she finds out she could attack. You'll be safer here, away from us. Someone will pick you up after school but until we work out what she knows and exactly what we are doing it's a little difficult."

He stopped and thought for a moment, underneath Emma's words he sensed she was frightened. He knew his brunette mother hadn't faired very well over the past week either. They needed him to behave and not be a cause of added stress, they had enough to deal with. He had seen the negative way David in particular had reacted to them confessing their relationship and knew he had to support them as best he could.

"Just promise me you'll look after everyone, especially Mom." Henry levelled her with his best glare and Emma held his gaze as she promised, "Always."

He nodded at her and walked away. Emma waited until he had entered the building before she pulled away and did a quick sweep of town. She was looking out for Cora, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary so she drove back to her parents to wait for them and Regina to come back from their respective errands.

* * *

Regina stood and stared at the heart. It was pulsing on the kitchen counter in the loft apartment. It threw odd reflections and bathed the room in a hideous hue. She hated it. She hated her mother. But was she ready to do what had to be done? There might be other options, she could try and control her mother, if she was given time maybe she could limit her mother's magic so she was just an angry and emotionally stunted woman, rather than a power hungry and dangerous murderer. She could try and put the heart back, maybe with it inside her chest her mother might calm and resemble a normal person, dare she even dream, a loving mother.

Emma stood by her side, offering what little comfort there was. They were waiting for Snow and Charming to return from Gold's shop and every minute Regina became more jittery. She wanted to be allowed to try, to give it every opportunity before they made the decision to go to war with Cora where the outcome would have to be death.

Regina tensed as they heard footsteps and then a key in the lock. As Snow and Charming walked in she saw Snow's gaze flick to the heart and then her face broke into a smile, Regina had succeeded and her faith in the older woman had been rewarded.

It was short lived as David took charge and asked the question she had been dreading. "What are you going do with it now?"

The look between the blonde and the brunette was of love, dedication, encouragement. Emma squeezed her hand, a silent reassurance to speak honestly and that she would be there and support her.

"I'd like to speak to Gold, he knows more than I about this. With a normal heart you can control a person, the magic and enchantment surrounding this heart means you can't do that, but there must be a way to gain control of my Mother. You could keep it here until we are successful in breaking the enchantment."

"That could take too long and assumes Gold will help us." Charming took the lead, not warming to the plan.

"I can return my Mother's heart, and hope by returning it we return her feelings. She would be much less dangerous then."

Charming shook his head and Emma had to bite her tongue. She felt a fierce desire to defend Regina, but her father was making good and rational arguments. She was responding with pure feeling and being led by her heart. Perhaps his distance and objectivity would give them a solution the women couldn't see.

Her father rejected that idea too by saying, "But that is only a theory and she could remove the heart at any time returning to the cold blooded version we have to deal with now."

"It is possible we can enchant the heart so it couldn't be removed after we return it." Regina tried to make Charming see some merit in her idea.

"You crushed hearts in The Enchanted Forest, causing immediate death. Why can't we do that now?" He pinned her down, asking a direct question, but she was evasive.

"There are other options." Regina defended. She didn't like the way this was going, his tone wasn't quite hostile, but he was aggressive and this wasn't really a conversation.

"Crush it." Charming was forceful, to him it was a simple option and she remembered how he would have executed her back in the old world. Maybe it was his upbringing as a Shephard, seeing countless deaths either from injury, illness or slaughter of the animals. He had become desensitised to the act, and he could be so very cold about things that didn't affect him.

Snow watched the older brunette's face fall. It was obvious to Snow she had hoped for a different outcome. Seeing anguish settle before Regina regained a modicum of control Snow felt her pain. She remembered how much it had hurt to lose her mother. And David had lost his mother, he knew that pain, she didn't understand his immediate insistence on this.

She would speak to him about it privately, make him see that crushing the heart was best, but they would be ending Cora's life, Regina's mother would die. And that given time Regina would come to accept that, but to demand that happen right now wasn't helpful. It would just back the older woman into a corner and they knew well enough what happened when you did that to her.

"Do you have an alternative idea?" Snow tried to calm the woman, to talk it out. She had seen Emma react to David's tone. Their daughter had set her jaw and moved closer to her lover and Snow felt they were about to take sides. She didn't want that, she was trying to be the peace keeper. She wouldn't push Emma away if they could find a better solution.

She guessed she accepted this better than Charming because she had known Regina before the darkness. She remembered a kind teenager, full of life and love, who did what was right. And she hoped that maybe that person wasn't gone, just lost. Charming only knew The Evil Queen and couldn't see past that. He didn't know that underneath all the killing and endless chasing there was a time when Regina had just been a young woman with hopes and dreams like the rest of them.

Snow did recognise the irony. Had Regina not killed her father and forced her from the castle, she would likely be married to a distant King, enduring the monotony and boredom of palace life. Expected to produce children and doing her husband's bidding, stuck in the Enchanted Forest without the opportunities they had here. Her father would have wanted a good match and to secure the royal line. It would not have been a marriage for love and she never would have meet Charming without Regina's intervention. They owed the woman for setting events in motion that would lead to circumstances uniting them and finding the True Love they shared.

Charming would argue they would have had every chance of finding each other, after all finding each other was what they did, but Snow had doubts. Without Regina's descent into dark madness she wouldn't have Charming or Emma or this life, the good and the bad bits. She would give Regina some time and space because she did feel a twisted sense of debt to her. And guilt, the guilt over her admission about Daniel that never fully went away.

She needed to speak to her husband, because he was so adamant about what needed to happen, he only saw the solution that suited them. It was as if Regina's desires didn't matter and Snow thought back to how her father had treated his new wife. She could look back with hindsight and an adult head on her shoulders and see her father hadn't helped the situation. He had no love and no time for her, restricting her movements and ignoring her pleas. He had expected too much from a very young woman who was obviously out of her depth as Queen. She had needed a friend and advice. All she received was abuse and loneliness.

And now her husband was ignoring Regina's wishes, her opinion didn't matter to him and Snow desperately wanted to pull him to one side and explain that if he continued with his treatment of the brunette like that he would damage his relationship with Emma. He might not like Regina, he might not trust her, but Emma did. And with every word that fell from his mouth that degraded the fallen Queen he pushed Emma further into her arms, and further away from them.

"If you won't crush it, I will." With the ultimatum a coolness settled between Regina and Charming, their eyes locked, each with a hard edge. Any relationship they had forged in the past week was disintegrating and everyone felt the atmosphere in the room shift.

"You can't crush it, you need magic to do that." Regina told him stiffly, she felt she was being bullied, pushed to do what he wanted and she had never responded well to being dictated to.

"Then get on with it. Every moment we spend talking she could be hurting people. Or getting closer to finding the dagger."

She looked over at Emma, willing her to understand what she was going to say, "I'd like a chance to say goodbye." Regina admitted in a smaller voice than she would have liked. "I can't just crush it, I need to know this is that is the only way left before doing something so drastic."

It was a plea, he recognised it as much. But it was a weakness and a risk he wasn't prepared to take. They had an opportunity here to end it all, to save the town and he thought it was folly to ignore that.

Charming sighed and looked across at his wife for support, but strangely found it lacking. He swung his eyes to Emma who shook her head at him, warning him not to say anything else. He saw his daughter looking at the older woman with compassion and warmth and it angered him more.

"And how long is that likely to take?" He couldn't stop himself, Cora was dangerous, and they needed to resolve this. Every moment they waited his family might be in danger. He was only protecting his loved ones. Why could no-one else see that? He hated magic and this woman had no restraint, the thing that governed that part of humanity was sat on his kitchen counter, absent from her body and meaning she could act as maliciously and recklessly as she wanted. He refused to stand by any longer, they needed to act.

"You've had all week to say goodbye." His remark cut into Regina and Snow saw the delicate flinch before the brunette caught herself and stoned her face. But it was enough to alert Snow who knew what was going to happen moments before it did. She saw the older woman struggle, closing her eyes against tears. Snow was well aware she wouldn't show them that weakness, she wouldn't cry with them there.

As they were left looking at a cloud of purple smoke, Snow was unsurprised that both Regina and the heart had disappeared.

Charming went to open his mouth but Emma beat him to it.

"Don't. You've said enough." She warned him. "I'll find her and speak to her, try to calm her down. Mom," and Emma looked over at her mother, "Please collect Henry from school and take him to Ruby to look after. I'll ring when I've found her and we can try and fix this."

Her tone made it clear she had no intention of backing down or discussing it. She looked disappointedly at him as she walked to the apartment door.

"Emma!" David tried but found Snow restraining his arm.

She whispered to her husband, "I need to tell you some things about Regina and her upbringing. Explain how things were, and you might understand a little better. We need to give Emma some time and leave her to find Regina."

He didn't understand, but the look his wife gave him, the fear of losing Emma clearly written on her face, he would try. He looked at the door swinging shut and wished Emma knew he was only trying to protect her. He was a practical man, a man who worked hard and was physically strong. He could fight or fix a car, but the way the women were reacting was alien to him. It was with confusion he crossed to the kettle and filled it up to make them tea.

As he stirred the liquid in the cups he motioned to the counter and said, "Ok, tell me what it is I'm missing."

Snow sat and proceeded to tell him how Cora had controlled Regina's life and used magic to discipline her, making her conform and behave. That deviation from Cora's plan wasn't tolerated. Daniel was a deviation and he had been murdered so Regina could be manipulated into marrying the King and a similar set of controlling circumstances had then ensued.

"That's why dictating to her never ends well, she vehemently rebels. She hates having her choices limited or letting someone control things. Her reactions are extreme, but you need to understand how much her mother damaged her."

"I do understand that. That's why I thought killing her would be easy for her. She has only ever been abusive and ruined Regina's life."

"But there's the rub. You and I, we had loving relationships with our Mother's. When they passed over we were able to say goodbye and know we were loved. Regina's relationship with her Mother is completely dysfunctional, but she is still looking for the love. She hopes that one day her mother will finally say she was good enough. And if she kills her, that day will never come to pass."

Snow held his hand, he was a good man, but he was only seeing the sensible solution and none of the emotional side. But he could be made to see it, he could be compassionate and understanding, he just needed a little guiding.

"So we wait and do nothing?" He queried.

"She is close to accepting it. You can see the struggle she is going through on her face, she is too tired to hide it and knows she can't keep fighting her mother indefinitely. Emma will support her and that will help her see this is the only choice she has left. Please be patient over this, not for Regina, but for me and for our daughter."

He nodded thoughtfully, he would be prepared to wait if Snow thought that was best, she did know Regina better than he did. But he was still sceptical so asked,

"You want me to welcome her into our family, a woman who would have killed us both? Why?"

"Because I believe Regina is on a good path now, she can be redeemed if she is given time and support. Once, long ago, she was a good friend to me and I'd love to see that person again. The one that sheltered and cared for me, cared about me. The one that loved with all her heart, because that person is dedicated and loyal and would be good to Emma. And Emma deserves that, to be loved."

"We love her." David argued.

"We both know our love isn't the same. And I do believe Regina will defend Emma with everything she has, that look earlier in her eyes, the trust and gratitude, the sparkle? I've seen it before, with her first love. And it was because of that broken love she fought against us so hard in our home land, it was what drove her hatred. Loving again will motivate her like nothing else. She won't stop fighting for it so we need to accept this is happening whether we approve or not."

"I can't just forgive and forget." He put it simply, that would be a step too far.

"I know that, but we need to build a new relationship with Regina that doesn't start from hatred and mistrust. She has reached out to us and tried to change and she did that for Emma. We need to do the same and see where it takes us."

"You want me to apologise, don't you?" David caught on quickly and Snow smiled at him. She hadn't needed to guide him too far, he could be counted on to make the right decision given all the information.

"It might be a nice gesture." She told him and leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

Emma arrived at the mansion and let herself in. She knew it was empty the minute she stepped inside. It didn't feel like it did when Regina was home. And when the blonde had become so attuned to the older woman she didn't know, but she had to take a minute to think where else her lover might be.

Henry. That was all she came up with, and it was lunchtime, he would be in the playground. Emma locked the house back up and ran down to her car, ripping open the door and throwing herself in. She didn't want Regina on her own, analysing the comments her father had made. Thinking, wondering, tormenting herself.

Emma wanted her to know she wasn't alone anymore and if she had doubts then she was there to try and help, to discuss and talk things through. She put her foot down and overtook a few slow cars as she made her way across town to the school yard.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Regina by the tree line, watching their son run around in the warmth of the day. She walked over slowly and settled in next to her, waiting for the brunette to speak.

"I'm sorry I left like that." Regina eventually said and when she turned her head Emma saw the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Hey that's ok. I'm sorry my Dad is an insensitive jerk." Emma smiled at her.

"I wish he was, but he is right about my Mother. She is dangerous and the easy thing would be to crush her heart and end this quickly."

"It is your choice, you are the only one who could do it and she is your family. He wouldn't let anyone butt in and tell him how to run his family business. He should have been more understanding." Emma told her, still angry at her father and his disrespectful attitude towards the brunette.

"I just want one more chance with her, one more conversation. Is that foolish of me? I am tired Emma, and scared, and so frightened about everything. I don't think I am making a rational decision but I need this. For my own sanity, to know I tried my very best to save her. Do you understand that?"

"Of course I understand. And if that is what you want, I support it."

"Protect Henry and the heart. If things go badly, if you don't hear from me by later today, take it to Gold. Make him crush it. Remind him you are now family, do whatever you have to but end this." And Regina bent down and moved some of the undergrowth to uncover the heart, which she passed to Emma.

It made things a little difficult for a goodbye kiss, Emma wanting to pull the woman closer, hold her tight and instead there was a heart squashed between them. As their lips touched and Regina threaded her fingers through her hair Emma knew she would never get enough of the older woman. This was bliss, even if there were disasters lurking round every corner, Emma could take pleasure and relax in the simple act of kissing her lover, with breaths mingling and loving touches cementing their feelings.

She swore they would have the rest of their lives to kiss, living under this fear and scrutiny was going to end and they weren't going to lose.

* * *

Neal sat in the bar, it was a few minutes past 7. Just a few minutes that his father was late. His father was never late. He stood up and felt a little unsteady. Maybe he needed to eat something, he had skipped lunch but he had eaten a solid breakfast. Hadn't he? He thought back and remembered fragments of the meal, Ruby and her short skirt pouring his coffee, but then there was something off with his recollection, because it became foggy.

He couldn't quite focus on things until he had arrived at the library and spent time with Belle. That was a large gap in his memory. His father's words from earlier about being careful, avoiding a woman named Cora and ensuring he didn't eat anything from strangers came back to him and he felt something cold and heavy, something like dread settle in his stomach.

He had assured his father that his morning had been fine, nothing untoward had happened, but now he wasn't at all sure.

He made the decision quickly, grabbing his jacket and leaving the bar. He had his cell in is hand and tried ringing his father as he walked down the street. It went to voicemail so he rang the house, trying not to panic. Trying to convince himself that everything was fine.

As Belle answered he tried to stay calm and keep his voice level.

"Is my Father there?" He asked.

"Isn't he at The Rabbit Hole yet?" Belle responded and he felt his heart sink.

"No he isn't."

"That isn't like Rumple." Belle was beginning to pick up on Neal's nerves and barely contained panic. "Have you tried his cell phone?" She asked.

"Yeah, no answer." The young man answered dejectedly. He felt sick, with his memory loss he knew he might had inadvertently helped someone hurt his father.

"Neal." Belle took control and tried to focus him. And hearing the commanding tone in her voice he listened to her. "Do you think he is in trouble?"

"I have some memory loss, and a really bad feeling, so yeah I think he might be."

"Come to the house, I will make the phone calls." Belle told him and with that decided he picked up his feet and jogged down the sidewalk. He needed to fix this, he might not know if he could forgive his father for letting him go and choosing magic and power over him, but faced with the possibility his father might be hurt or gone he knew he still had things to ask, and things to say.

Belle rang the Charming's phone and was glad when Snow answered it after a handful of rings.

* * *

To anyone casually observing her, Regina looked self assured and was strolling with purpose down the street. Her head was high, her posture straight. But inside she was in turmoil. She was looking for her Mother, but she wasn't really looking hard. She was trying to put off the inevitable. She was usually sure of what she wanted and then ruthlessly went to get it, but with this she was hesitant.

Her outward exterior was perfect, inside she knew she had been aimlessly wandering for quite some time, trying to put off the conversation. As she walked passed the Diner with it's warm light spilling out onto the paving slabs she wished she could be inside sipping a hot cup of coffee. But she couldn't, she was on a deadline and needed to do this.

She reached the crossroads and immediately knew she wasn't alone. She looked over the road and saw her Mother watching her. Her face was impassive, but Regina felt dark magic spilling from her, that coupled with disappointment and bitterness made the air thick and unpleasant.

"We need to talk." She called out knowing her Mother would hate the vulgarity of shouting like that, but not really wanting to get any closer.

She was about to try something she had never done before, tell her Mother the truth, stand up for herself and try and make a deal with her. She felt a little like The Dark One but unlike his confidence and swagger all she felt was completely out of her depth.

"What do you want to tell me?" The older woman asked, walking closer, stalking really.

"We have your heart Mother, call off the attack. You can go back to Wonderland or start somewhere else. Storybrooke isn't right for you." There wasn't even a flicker on her Mother's face, but the words dripped poison when she replied,

"That, My Darling Daughter, sounds like a threat."

"See it as an opportunity. A chance to prosper somewhere else." Regina responded.

"But I can prosper here. Why would I give that up?" The older woman smiled but her cold, dead eyes remained stony. And Regina found herself studying the face, memorising the details because this was exactly what she had expected would happen and she knew this was likely to be the last conversation they ever shared.

"Because you no longer hold all the cards Mother. With your heart we could break the enchantment and control you or just crush it. Please think about that."

"Regina Darling, you know you can't manipulate me. That isn't our relationship and you should know that by now. But it looks like I am going to have to teach you another lesson the hard way."

Regina felt the magic coil round her, but unlike when she had been a child and held in the air and crushed, she had now learned a counter spell and was able to repel the squeezing grip round her chest. She pushed hard and sent out a pulse of magic to free herself, she only realised it might have been too much as the buildings around them shook and she heard beams, plaster and window glass crack and shatter.

Cora looked up with rage painted on her face, she had been pushed back to the other side of the street. With a feral growl she raised her hands to attack.

As Regina raised her own hands she knew her compromise had been rejected, it had never seriously been considered. She knew the only way this ended now was with Cora's death. As a tear rolled down her cheek she got ready to defend herself.

"Goodbye Mother" she whispered as she took a step forward, she face twisted in concentration and grief.

* * *

Telling the Princess that Rumple was missing immediately sparked a change in Snow's tone of voice. Gone was the soft Mary Margaret, instead it was the battle ready archer who slipped into place. And Belle was glad, she had thought maybe the couple wouldn't help or wouldn't believe her. She knew Rumple had meddled greatly and upset practically everyone around town at one time or another, it would be understandable if people refused to help him now.

As Snow spoke to Belle and took details about Rumple's last known movements Charming's cell started to ring. He saw it was Ruby and moved away from his wife to answer it.

"Regina's in trouble." Ruby told him. His stomach sunk, his daughter would be devastated if Regina got hurt.

Emma had rung earlier to explain Regina was going to see her Mother and confront her one final time, offer her an ultimatum to back down and leave Storybrooke or else they would be left with no choice but to intervene and crush her heart. He knew Emma hadn't heard from the brunette since and was worried and it appeared this was why. He had assumed The Evil Queen would be ok and able to deal with anything thrown at her, but it appeared maybe not. He felt fear coil round him, but he still reached out to grasp his sword.

"How do you know?" He asked, he knew Emma had the heart, but they couldn't control Cora or crush it without magic and as he knew from the other phone call, Gold had disappeared. Their plans were beginning to unravel and any advantage they had got was eroding by the minute.

"I saw her walk past a few moments ago. Then there was the sound of a massive explosion. You can taste the magic in the air and the dust that is settling is purple. You can hear there is a massive fight taking place and Henry is frantic."

"Stay put and keep Henry away from it." He warned. "We're on our way."


	27. The Last Battle

All I'm going to say is please don't hate me.

* * *

Emma had put the heart in a back pack. She wanted it close but knew there was no chance it would fit in her pocket. Her skinny jeans were plastered to her skin, no room for a heart there. It felt odd slung over her shoulder and she shifted it, trying to find a way to be comfortable. There was no comfort though, this situation was dire.

She was tired and her nerves were stretched to breaking. It had been a long day, she couldn't believe it had been this morning she had rolled out of Regina's bed, pulled on her jeans and left in the crisp morning air before bumping into Cora. It felt like a lifetime ago because so much had happened in between.

And now there was so much to say, and so little time. Because Gold had disappeared, Neal had memory loss and it appeared Regina had managed to speak to her Mother and it had gone badly. They didn't know if Cora had The Dark One's dagger but it was a pretty good bet she did.

Neal couldn't remember what part he had played in aiding Cora, but to free his father he had rushed to join them. But they all knew this would come down to the magic users and how strong Regina was. Emma knew love had given her strength, it had given her two people to fight and try for. Only time would tell whether it was enough, and the time was upon them.

They walked down Main Street in a tight group, they were heavily armed, Charming with leather armour and his sword, Snow with her bow, they had been joined by Granny as they had passed the Diner and she had her crossbow. They walked with purpose and without speaking, the silence heavy between them, expectation hung in the air.

Snow had sent out the call to arms and the dwarves were on route to join them. Emma had never seen anything like this outside the pages of a medieval encyclopaedia, a group of heavily armed warriors going to battle.

Ruby was with Henry in the Diner, keeping him company and out of danger. Emma wanted to let her parents know that despite the harsh words earlier she loved them, it was just she loved Regina too. But they all stayed quiet, mentally preparing themselves for the fight and she could only hope they understood.

The tears in her eyes glistened but she refused to let them fall. Life had always been unfair, she had seemed to spend her whole life fighting. Fighting someone who was more powerful or with more money. Her lawyer had been young, state appointed and for a first offence she had been treated harshly by the judge. Then in prison she had no money so she took the beatings, unable to pay people off to leave her alone.

Then there were foster parents who were older, someone who in theory was wiser and should set the example but in reality was just another bastard who knew how to play the system and win, making Emma the loser.

She had always been fighting for her dignity, for a feeling of belonging, for a shred of pride, and always, always fighting the tears. She blinked rapidly so she could focus and see without everything swimming blurrily away from her behind a veil of unshed tears. She was an adult now, she was strong and could do this.

She could hear the sound of bangs and crashes and the ground shaking. She tasted dust in the air and knew a building had collapsed as she couldn't see the roof on the skyline anymore. She clutched the strap of the backpack tighter, and ran her hand over the stock of her gun. Her father had offered her a sword, but she had declined. She wasn't sure she could shoot straight, she was so amped up on adrenaline and feared her hand would probably shake too badly, but she'd try.

And then they were there. They turned a corner and were confronted by the devastation with Cora and Regina stood in the middle of it.

Emma's heart was in her throat, she appraised Regina and she appeared unhurt, but the sheer power Cora had unleashed was clear in the decimated buildings. The blonde felt true fear but as she forced herself to breath she looked at her lover and saw the determination. The set of the jaw and the refusal to give up shining from the deep brown eyes. Her lips were pressed together making the scar there almost disappear, her face unreadable, except Emma knew that the mask had slipped in to hide the emotional pain.

Pain that she had to end her mother's life which was made worse because Cora wasn't going quietly. As Emma stood there watching the older woman would sneer and insult her daughter. "Fat", "Useless" and "Disgusting" were words the blonde could make out over the roar of magic and collapsing buildings. Her mother was viciously attacking, trying to get an emotional response, trying to get a reaction and make Regina lose her temper. Because even Emma knew magic was linked to emotion and if Regina lost her temper she would likely lose control of her magic too.

Emma had grown up with assholes, she thought she had seen everything and every degree of manipulation possible, but Cora, well even Emma had to admit, she was something else. She was another level of cruel. Her cold voice, clipped tones and vicious barbs angered Emma and she knew they cut deeply into Regina even if she refused to show it on her face.

Emma wanted to reach out, to hold her hand, offer her any comfort, but that would only give her mother more ammunition. She'd attack Emma or increase the insults to include the blonde, using their love and relationship against them, so she held her fists balled at her sides. She held her tongue, her own jaw clenched so tight it hurt, willing herself to breathe and try not to lose her temper.

How could a parent do this to their own child? Emma thought the indifference she had been shown by foster families was soul destroying, but this had to be worse. A mother who showed too much interest, wanted to control everything, and had magic to punish anything she deemed as a mistake.

Regina saw her mother's gaze flick behind her and she chanced a glance back and saw Snow, Charming, Neal, Granny and Emma. She quickly faced her Mother again but there was a minute difference in her frame, she stood just a touch taller with more attack and confidence.

The blonde felt pride, her lover was strong and brave and she wished she had spent longer this morning, held her lover just a little tighter and for a few more precious seconds. She should have breathed in the scent of her hair, kissed the furrowed brow and stroked the cheek tenderly until she got that rare smile. She regretted jumping out of bed and rushing the goodbye, she should have stayed and whispered the words she kept holding back.

Emma knew that they now stood on the precipice of a massive change in their relationship. A change which would start with a fight with Cora and would end up in the death of someone, possibly multiple people. She felt a solid ball settle in her stomach, this was real. Really real. And she had dragged her family and friends into it. No amount of first aid or CPR knowledge was going to help here, her gun was almost useless. She felt out of her depth as real fear grasped at her.

She knew had made a mistake with the kiss earlier, she should have dropped the heart and pulled Regina close. She should have deepened the kiss and told the brunette she loved her. She now feared that it was too late and she couldn't correct it. There was so much she wanted to convey and she wasn't sure the glance she had just exchanged held any of the meaning she felt weighing heavily on her heart.

Emma realised that even if the person who died was Cora, she was scared how Regina would cope and what it might mean to their fledgling relationship. She daren't even contemplate that Regina might be the one who died, that she might not walk away from this. She silently kicked herself again, I love you wasn't that hard to say, not when they had been through so much together already and Emma saw trust, longing and respect shining at her after every kiss, every caress.

With their arrival the fight had stopped but it was a momentary dip, the air was still charged, it felt thick and when Emma breathed it was shallowly. She had no magic, but she could still feel it hanging in the air between mother and daughter, waiting for one of them to strike and ignite it. It would move quickly from that point and that point was suddenly upon them as Cora stepped forward and used her magic to create a barrier that pushed Regina and those gathered behind her backwards.

Snow and Charming tried to dig their feet into the dirt and gravel but it was pointless, the magic was like a wall, relentless and without a gap in it. Granny fell but Neal was by her side quickly to help her up. But they were all being pushed further away from the older woman and needed an opening to escape through.

With a flick of her wrist Regina created one, it seemed to Emma she held an invisible knife that she used to cut a hole in the barrier and she stepped through.

Everyone else was still being held behind the invisible shield but Regina stepped toward her Mother with a defiant raise of her chin.

Emma was being forced back, further away from Regina and made to stand by helplessly, feeling useless, as Regina had engaged her mother again in their magical war. Emma knew Regina hadn't the magic she wished she had, that Magic in this land was weak, and the only blessing was that Cora's magic would also be vastly reduced.

Thinking quickly and giving up fighting the shield Emma let herself be pushed back as she began to run her hand across the barrier. She moved her feet with speed so that each step she took was on a diagonal, forced back but also allowing her to traverse sideways. She moved her body along the surface, seeking out the gap Regina had cut and hoping she could also step through it. She hoped her parents would catch on to her idea and as her fingers brushed a ragged edge she knew she had found it.

"Here." She called out before stepping out of the force field that had kept them caged and into the battlefield. She only then realised it had also kept them safe from any of the fallout from the fighting. She crouched as she ran forward, making as small a target as possible.

The smell of burnt ozone hung in the air, the noise was deafening at times with cracks and rumbles that rivalled a thunder storm. Violent light pulsed and flashed making her close her eyes against it and still it had seared images to her retinas that only faded slowly. The whole scene was lit with an unnatural glow, smoke hung in the air and Emma coughed before realising she needed to take shallow breathes.

She stood in awe as Fireballs, energy shots and shields sprung to life and were thrown, but even Emma could tell the pulses of energy Regina was firing weren't as powerful, that they would only damage and weren't intended to kill.

Emma thought she knew why, despite it all, Regina didn't want to kill her Mother. She hoped to disable the older woman but it was a vain hope when the other party in the battle was used to and had no issue with killing outright.

"This is pointless Mother" Regina hissed, "neither one of us will win like this."

"I know that Dear." Cora replied, a smug smile on her face, as she sent a whirling wind toward Regina, and all Regina needed to do to avoid it was to move a side step to her left. Cora then created a ball of purple magic that crackled as it rolled like a bowling ball along the ground, which Regina again just moved out of the way of.

Emma quickly assessed Regina's tactic, she had stopped aggressively attacking her mother, saving her energy to just block and move out of the way. If things continued like this Cora would exhaust herself and there might still be a scenario where death wasn't the only likely outcome.

Emma felt proud of Regina, she was conserving her energy, she had chosen to analyse the situation and made a non-lethal plan that gave everyone the best chance. She had completely shed the Evil Queen who lived on death and destruction. Regina stepped left again, and that was when everything suddenly went to hell in a hand cart.

Cora hissed at her daughter, "You never understood that love was a weakness. And I told you there would be a hard lesson here."

She waved her hand while telling her daughter, "I found something interesting while in my travels around town. An old friend."

Her smile was hideous and Emma felt the tension in the area immediately ramp up.

The blonde didn't understand as Regina became completely inanimate. She was looking over her mother's shoulder and had seen something that shocked her to her core. It was cutting into her heart, she could hardly breathe and her hand shook as she made to rub her eyes but instead ran it through her hair. A gasp she couldn't stop fell from her lips as she was face to face with Daniel. Only it wasn't him, just his body humming with dark magic, reanimated.

Cora cooed to her daughter, "Keeping hold of the past, so very sentimental and utterly pointless."

"Don't." It was strangled and all the younger brunette could vocalise.

"This is what love looks like Regina, dead and cold. And unless you back down, I will do the same thing to your latest lover."

And Emma realised Cora had been taking it easy with the magical attack too. She hadn't wanted to kill Regina just yet, she still had things to say, points to make and a daughter to brutalise. This was just such an example as the poor man thing stumbled forward in an uncoordinated way.

"Get your dark and dirty black magic out of him!" Regina screamed, finally finding her voice but her control slipping.

"But he is dead Regina, what does it matter?" She grinned knowing how much distress this was causing her daughter.

With tears spilling down her face the brunette made the decision. She glanced at the blonde, she needed to protect her lover and it needed to be the living one who she had a possible future with. It hurt her, would probably leave permanent scars that she could never fully move past, but she whispered the words and pulled down the protection spell surrounding Daniel.

Cora was left controlling a corpse that was rapidly disintegrating. As she tried to bring him closer to Regina he lurched and fell to his knees, his skin beginning to sag and flake. Regina encompassed herself in a magical shield, Emma in another and turned away, retching.

Emma had been fascinated, seeing Regina's first love and if she ignored the drunken stagger she thought how he looked attractive and youthfully strong. She saw why Regina had fallen for him, there was a softness in his eyes and even after all these years he was clearly still important to the brunette.

But she couldn't watch as the scene became horrific, the bones breaking and turning to dust. She turned away and closed her eyes against tears. She felt Regina's pain, it was clear from her words and written on her face and she couldn't go to her. She couldn't help, she was just stood on the side lines behind another barrier feeling useless.

"Ah," Cora said, "You do learn, protecting the new lover is wise, she would have been my next target."

Regina could hardly stand, her legs felt like rubber and she needed to concentrate to focus her magic, her mother had manage to almost completely scatter her emotions. She looked at Emma and thought of Henry as she reached down inside herself, going deeply to dredge up the last ounces of magic she possessed. She would need it for this next attack, she was going for a kill shot.

"I won't let you hurt anyone else." Regina said through gritted teeth. She stalked forward with aggression she didn't feel. She felt unsettled and numb. She knew later the pain and grief would come, but now she just focused on the task before her and pushed everything else aside.

"I grow tired of hurting other people anyway." Cora told her. "It is so much more satisfying to just continue to hurt you, you are the failure and deserve the punishing."

"Then let's get to it." Regina told her mother unflinchingly.

"Indeed." Her Mother nodded as she reached into a pocket and produced a very dirty glass vial, it still had clumps of mud hanging from it where it had recently been in the ground. Emma recognised it immediately and so did Regina as fear shone from her eyes.

"How did you get that?" The short haired brunette asked a little breathy as she tried to hide the fear she felt she had just been smacked in the face with. She felt light headed, she didn't know how much more she could take. Seeing Daniel controlled like that had been gut wrenchingly difficult, more so to finally end her protection spell. And with feelings like that so close to the surface, she thought the vial with its negative effects might drive her over the edge of sanity.

"Something very strange happened to me when I used the well to transport between realms. As I climbed out of the well I was exhausted, I didn't realise how much energy the portal would suck from me and I fell to the ground to rest after such magical exertion."

"Do get on with it Mother." Regina found some bravado and managed to sound disinterested. She already suspected what had happened. She tried to ignore her heart that was hammering and injected strength into her voice so it sounded commanding.

"After laying still for a little while I was able to collect my strength and stand. My magic was weak, both from travelling to this world and because it is obviously not a magical plane. Really Regina, I don't know why you chose it, to make yourself ordinary and limited like that seems madness. You were quiet promising as a sorceress, but I suppose genetically you did have an advantage."

And even now, her Mother was still trying to bait her, to run her down and diminish her accomplishments and Regina knew deep down she had never been enough and it was pointless to try. She just regretted spending so much of her childhood trying to jump through her mother's hoops.

Regina had to bite her tongue to refrain from responding to the insults, however she didn't let the comments sting her like she might once have done, she had finally had enough of her Mother. Instead she snapped, "Mother you test my patience, get to the point."

"Had I had my full magical powers I doubt I would have felt it, but being vastly reduced I felt the magical pull of this object as it tried to fill the void inside me. I knew it was powerful and followed the trail and soon had dug it up. It seems to speak to me, pulls at a part of my magic, but now I hold it close to you I know it isn't me it seeks."

She peered at the liquid in the vial that had suddenly come to life, bubbling and she felt the glass in her hand warm as it vibrated. It was trying to pull itself from her grasp to get closer to Regina and she smiled, recognising it for what it was.

"Well now, it seems like this has been enchanted with blood magic and judging from the reaction it has to being close to you it must be yours. Now it all makes sense."

An evil glint in her eyes Cora continued, "I see from the look on your face you are familiar with the object. How nice."

"Not really." Regina gritted out from her clenched teeth, she could already feel the adverse effect the horrid liquid was having on her. She felt sick and her head was beginning to thud dully.

Cora stepped closer to her daughter and then threw the vial to the floor and watched it shatter, a look of bemusement on her face. The liquid immediately moved along the ground, straight through the protection shield and had encompassed Regina's foot before she was even able to take a step.

She felt ice wrap round her toes, soon her whole foot had become so cold it felt numb and it began to spread up her leg as the liquid moved to cover more of her body.

She was incapacitated, she tried to focus her magic but she felt like she was drowning in emotions, the darkness clawing at her mind, tears springing to her eyes and her magic was scattering, then being sucked away from her. It was retreating deep into her and she found it difficult to breathe as such a large part of her dimmed.

She knew she was falling, but she had lost all feeling in her limbs and outer body. She hit the ground and noticed the dust that puffed up round her, but still she felt nothing except the way her insides were being clawed at.

Love was weakness, that was what Regina had always been told. And that magic was power, but that wasn't necessarily true either. As she lay comatose on the floor, vaguely aware of people moving around her, she felt her magic ebb away. The potion inside the vial had attached itself to her magic and because of how deeply immersed in magic Regina was, it took her life force with it.

The thing she had spent years cultivating and growing, and then using to attack others, her magic was being stripped from her. And it was something that both Rumple and her Mother sought with ruthless abandon, they prized it above all other things. How funny then that it wasn't love but magic that was now her weakness. The liquid ate away at the magic until there was nothing left. It took her power and her breath and all she was left with was the darkness pressing in on her.

As Regina faded so did the magic she had used in Storybrooke.

There weren't many changes, but back in the Diner Henry had an enchanted cup, a recent birthday present from his Mother. It was always full of warm hot chocolate and he had been sipping at it trying to make idle conversation with Ruby. He was petrified and knew things were serious, he kept hearing explosions and buildings falling down. Ruby wasn't much better, she would flinch at the noises and was struggling to find topics of conversation, but she did her best with a false half smile.

He realised something was very wrong when he noticed the liquid cool and the cup didn't refill itself and he knew his Mom was in trouble. He didn't wait for Ruby to finish her sentence, he was up and running for the door before she had even registered he wasn't sat in front of her anymore. She immediately gave chase, but when she got outside and caught him she saw his determination and fear. She could smell it pouring from him, his eyes were wide and she knew she'd never be able to get him to willingly return to the Diner.

With a heavy heart she made the decision. She hoped Emma and Snow would forgive her for it. She would always protect Henry and intended to lay her life down before harm came to him, but they were still walking towards the frontline to do what they could to help. Sheltering him behind her she walked towards the battle, hoping things weren't as bad as they sounded.

The shield protecting Emma disappeared and the blonde took a hesitant step forward. Now they only had weapons, wood and steel to fight with. She hoped the dwarves would arrive soon, because there was a slim chance with the added numbers they could force Cora back.

She looked at her fallen lover and wished she saw the determination that had carried her through life. She didn't see the set of the jaw or the refusal to give up shining from the deep brown eyes. Her eyes were shut and her mouth hung slackly. Emma found she missed the way her lips pressed together in anger making the scar there almost disappear, her face unreadable. Except Emma now knew that was the mask and she loved her with it or without it, because she loved every part of the broken woman lying in the dirt.

Regina's body had shuddered and convulsed before finally laying still on the ground. Emma didn't want to think she might be dead, she was silent and unmoving, but she could just be unconscious. Everything within Emma screamed to go to her lover's side, to hold her, offer comfort and aid. But she faced Cora instead, her hand shaking as she took the back pack off and placed her hand against the fabric. It was useless, with Regina incapacitated they had no-one to crush the heart.

She left the back pack in the dirt, hoping her parents would pick it up, if Regina woke up again maybe they could help her crush the heart. But they had to protect Regina and make sure she did wake up.

Emma knew she had to act to buy some time and try and stop Regina's mother even when every fibre of her being wanted to rush to the fallen woman's side. Instead she stepped forward shielding Regina's body from Cora's view and put herself directly in harm's way.

As Cora advanced on her she felt small, she felt her palms were clammy but she raised her gun and refused to give in or step back.

"Don't move." She issued in her most authoritive voice, levelling the gun so she could take the shot.

"Now what are you planning on doing with that?" Cora looked at the weapon and made a tisking noise, she was unimpressed and definitely not afraid.

It was then that a crossbow bolt and an arrow flew over the blonde's shoulder and Emma squeezed the trigger, praying her aim was true. But nothing happened as the missiles were abruptly stopped mid-air and fell to the ground.

"Well done Rumple." Cora cooed and that was when Emma noticed the older man was lurking in the shadows between the buildings. She felt the dejection hit her, there was no hope. Cora had The Dark One to manipulate and control, they were already facing slim odds, there was no way they could defeat two magic users.

She felt the burden of the title Saviour and knew she couldn't save anything here. She felt hopeless and that they were doomed, and knowing Cora it would be messy and painful and she hoped Ruby would be able to at least get Henry to the town line and he might survive this.

It was as if thinking of him had drawn him. And she wanted to scream at him to go, that it wasn't safe, but he was there and his pained shout of "Mom!" and she knew he had seen Regina laying prone on the floor.

But even feeling the odds were against them she didn't know anything other than fighting her way out. And as she heard Henry's voice shout out and carry over the buzzing of adrenaline in her ears she knew she had to fight for him. For family.

She hated that he was now involved and that the town line was now an unlikely way to save him, but knowing he was here helped her stand firm. She would die to protect him.

Everything moved quickly then. Cora looked perplexed at the boy and his reaction to Regina, before advancing with a sneer, "Bringing a child to a fight, what kind of woman are you? And it appears he is my Grandson, how dare you try and hide him from me."

Emma was turned around and propelled backwards by a harsh magical shove. Her back hit the brick of the building and the uneven stonework bit into her skin. Emma didn't feel it as her focus was on the hands round her neck, trying to squeeze the life from her.

Cora's face was close to hers as she hissed, "Always in the way, aren't you? I could have convinced Regina to join me and we would have been unstoppable. But there was always you standing there, reminding her to be good."

Emma couldn't force a retort past her burning throat, restricted as it was, she couldn't even breath. She had no firm purchase on the ground, her feet were maybe an inch from the floor as Cora had lifted her body as she slammed her into the wall.

The older Mills was strong with the help of magic and Emma had time to think that the slim frame hid a deadly surprise. Cora's appearance was deceptive, her ability fuelled by her anger and dark magic danced in her eyes. Without anything to push against, Emma's struggles were weak and Cora knew she had the upper hand, smiling wickedly as the blonde tried to force her hands away from her airway.

Emma worked hard on her physical appearance, she ran and worked out and she was quite strong. But the woman trying to straggle her could match her strength, her magic made was strong and it made Emma shudder to think what pain she had inflicted on her growing daughter who would have been no match for her. She thought this feeling, the one of pain and helplessness might well have been what most of Regina's childhood had felt like. She felt sympathy well up and her hatred for Cora spiked, giving her a little extra fight.

Emma felt the magic pulse around them, as Cora used more of it to increase the hold on Emma. At least Emma wasn't making this easy, she was going to fight until the last of her strength faded, forcing Cora to use as much of her magic as possible. Emma knew from experience that restraining a grown person like that was quite difficult and must be draining Cora.

Emma suspected it wasn't just magic that had given Cora strength. She knew the stories of The Queen of Hearts and she was now very close to her, so close she could see the burning in Cora's eyes, eyes Emma suspected might be reflecting her inner madness.

An arrow whizzed through the air and bounced off Cora's back, her magic deflecting it, but she turned round to deal with the annoying White Princess who she had never been able to stomach.

As Emma was released she pulled air quickly into her burning lungs. Cora's attention moved towards the band of figures advancing on her that included Snow and Charming, but she realised she had turned her back on the blonde and that was probably a mistake.

Before Emma could get her bearings and think of mounting an attack on Cora she issued her next command to the Imp.

So instead of dealing with the aerial assault of Granny's bolts and Snow's arrows and the approaching attack of Prince Charming herself she ordered the Dark One to deal with them and Emma saw him wave a hand and vines sprang from the earth and captured the advancing pack of people that included his grandson and his own son.

Gold hung his head as his son screamed out his frustration and disappointment in his father, but was powerless as Cora had his dagger and all the control at that moment.

The brief respite had given Emma just enough time to move to grasp for the back pack and pull out the beating object. She only wanted another distraction, she still hoped Regina might come to and be able to offer them a way out of this.

Cora smiled at Emma, much like a teacher smiles at a slow child, as she recognised what the blonde held tightly onto in her hand.

"And what do you propose to do with that Miss Swan? Did my daughter fail to tell you that only someone with magic can crush a heart? And as there were only 3 of us in this land and" Cora leaned past the blonde and eyed her fallen daughter "I have disposed of one, bound the other so he won't interfere and I am the third you seem to be out of options."

"Yours on the other hand" and Cora stepped forward and thrust her hand into Emma's chest, gripping her heart and squeezing tightly so Emma gasped and nearly fell to her knees at the excruciating pain that swept through her body, "could easily be crushed by me. And with you and your troublesome family gone the peasants will naturally bow to me."

Cora tried to pull her hand from the blonde's chest and felt resistance, the heart didn't move and she moved her hand to get a firmer grip. Emma grimaced but was close enough to see a fragment of worry slip across the older woman's features as she gave the organ another tug but failed to shift it.

Instead she thrust her hand deeper, getting a firmer grasp on the organ and squeezed. Emma felt her heartbeat stutter loudly in her ears as searing pain swept through all her limbs. Tears pricked her eyes, the pain was unlike anything she had ever felt, but being that close Emma sensed that Cora was uncomfortable. She clearly wasn't having the effect she expected.

Listening Emma heard her heartbeat thud erratically before settling and Cora's face fell. Emma took advantage of her shocked state and placed her hands firmly on the older woman's chest and shoved her away. She stumbled backwards and locked eyes with the blonde.

Both of them were breathing heavily, Cora cursed and wiped her hands on the fabric of her dress. "Damn my daughter, she must have grown powerful and talented to enchant a heart like that. Never mind, there are other ways I can make you suffer and kill you."

Emma dropped the heart into the back pack and took a step back, and then another as her head spun, her mind reeling. She knew Regina had never placed a spell on her so why couldn't Cora remove her heart? She had no doubt the woman had had much practice and it wasn't inexperience that stopped her. She needed to think, she felt something huge was just outside her grasp, and the adrenaline that was pumping in her system was blocking her from uncovering this important truth.

She could hear her heart hammering, she wanted to close her eyes and shut everything out for a minute so she could think. But she didn't, she couldn't with a psychotic woman standing feet away from her. She pushed at the emotions, trying to keep them at bay. The fear kept trying to bubble up, fear for her family, for her trapped parents, Henry and for Regina.

Emma started to piece it together. Regina hadn't enchanted her, well she had, but not with magic like Cora believed. Something else about Emma was special and had stopped her heart being taken. Was it because she was The Saviour or was it even deeper than that?

She was the product of True Love, she knew that was powerful stuff. And she knew she had talents because of it, the ability to spot lies, the need to nurture people and look out for people not strong enough to do that for themselves. Could she also possess magic?

There were times she couldn't explain things, lucky streaks and occasionally foresight before something happened, but she had never disappeared in a cloud of smoke like Regina.

She was having to think quickly, Cora seemed to be sizing her up, the older woman was a little more wary of her, but she knew that was the woman's self-preservation instinct and she would soon be on the attack again.

Emma took a few more steps away from the dangerous woman before her, hoping to buy time. She wouldn't turn her back on Cora, much like you never turned and ran from a tiger, you kept them in your line of sight and waited for the attack to come at you.

The blonde thought back. There were times she had felt power sing through her at emotional times, times where she was exhilarated and scared chasing a particularly nasty convict, or angrily facing up to Regina. Her whole world had felt like it moved when she had kissed Henry and then found out her parents were alive and she was flat sharing with her mother. But she had thought that was because these were live changing, monumental things where so much was at stake.

Now she realised her emotions had definitely been heightened in those situations and Regina had always told her Magic was linked to emotion. The powerful feeling could have been magic, if she had only known what to do with it maybe it might have manifested itself differently. In a town of fairy tale characters, facing down The Queen of Hearts, oddly her coming to the shocking realisation she possessed magic wasn't the most bizarre thing.

Still backing away she decided to act, she had never been particularly academic, she was much more like her father in that regard. She stopped thinking and grasped inside the material and this time when she touched the heart she felt the heat coming from it. Before it had felt cold and lifeless, now she sensed the magic enchanting it and she stumbled as the magnitude of what was revealed hit her.

She dropped the now empty backpack on the floor and stood cradling the heart in her hands. Emma focused solely on the heart in her hand and as she concentrated and ran her fingers round it. She swore she felt it heat up further, the magic flickering with her disjointed thoughts. She was certain she felt a connection to the organ travel back up her arm.

She needed to solidify the connection, she needed to be sure what she wanted. She took a deep breath and thought only of the heart and the woman it belonged to. She was angry at her, she wanted her to hurt, like she was making everyone else hurt.

To test her theory the blonde gently squeezed and heard a shocked intake of breath come from the older woman. She looked up and saw genuine fear reflected in Cora's eyes. She reacted on instinct, the magic flowing easily when she cast her eyes around and they saw Regina crumpled in the dirt. She was more than angry, she was furious and needed this to be over, she was protecting what she loved. And she felt her hand clench and suddenly she was holding dust rather than a beating heart.

She stood stunned for a moment, but only for a moment. When she had crushed Cora's heart and the woman had fallen to the floor Emma felt momentarily uneasy looking at the dead body, her eyes staring reproachfully at her before she had spun on her heel and locked eyes with Gold. He was stalking towards her, anger etched on his features and she braced herself for an oncoming attack.

However he roughly shoved her aside to bend down to Cora's side, grasping the dagger from her belt and carefully placing it in an inside part of his cloak. He then waved his hand and the vines holding his son, the other fighters and Henry captive vanished and before Emma knew what was happening Henry was running to his brunette mother, calling to her in a cracked and broken voice, his sobs hardly restrained.

She managed to get there first and as she looked down at Regina she felt her world crack. The brunette looked pale and lifeless and Emma's legs nearly gave out. This wasn't how it was meant to be. She saw Henry flying across to join them and she realised this wasn't something he should be exposed to or see.

She managed to take an extra few steps and blocked his path and line of sight. She placed her hand on his chest and bent down to look into his eyes. She saw his tears, his eyes shining just like hers were. She saw him bite at his trembling bottom lip and felt his fear, palpable and coming from him in waves before Neal and Charming were there pulling him gently away and trying to tell him words to comfort him.

Emma knelt next to the fallen body of her girlfriend and prayed that her initial assessment of the situation was wrong. As she ran over there was no movement, not even the rise and fall of her chest and she fought the urge to scream out Regina's name. Losing control now wasn't going to help, but she felt the prick of tears at the back of her eyes anyway.

She had been through hell today, she was tired, drained and dirty, her heart hurt and her throat was raw. And it wasn't over but she needed to remain calm, Henry needed her to be calm and Regina needed her to remain calm.

Part of her mind registered than Neal had stepped up, he hadn't run away, he had fought and was now trying to shelter their boy. She hoped that maybe, just maybe he could be a Father to Henry. He had changed, but she had no time for further analysis of her Ex and his behaviour as she placed a shaking hand to Regina's neck, tipping it back to clear the airway and to feel for a pulse.

She felt nothing and registered that the body was already beginning to cool. A feeling of sickness and utter despair rolled through her, she very nearly lost control and allowed the nauseated feeling to empty her stomach but she gritted her teeth and held on.

Tears blurred her vision and she angrily cuffed them away. This couldn't be it, not after she had finally been honest. Life couldn't be this unfair, to give her a slice of happiness only to yank it away again. She looked down at the woman she loved and caressed her soft skin, tracing her cheek and then her lips.

Emma barely registered her Mother was at her side, but she did register a commotion and the thundering of feet as suddenly Henry was kneeling on her other side, his young face red and blotchy and his chest heaving.

"NO!" He cried out, "Fix this, Emma please?! You're the Saviour, you must be able to fix it." And she felt her heart that was already in pieces shatter just a little bit more. The expectation weighed her down and guilt at having to explain to her son that dead really was dead made her stomach roll dangerously. Nauseated and shocked herself she struggled to hold up her own weight and fought round the dryness in her mouth to try and find some words, any words. Because in this case there was no fixing things, there was only acceptance that Regina was gone.

It didn't matter she had fallen as a hero, there was no comfort in that, although in time there might be. No, for now there was just pain and sorrow, and it showed on everyone's face as the reality sunk in. They had done enough to turn the tide, to win, but it was at huge cost. It was a bitter pill to swallow, Emma had defeated Cora, she should be happy. But there was only happiness if it was with Regina, if they could celebrate together.

Emma noticed Neal approach and place a hand on their son's heaving shoulder as he began to sob uncontrollably. She watched her son's heart break as she failed to tell him what he needed to hear. He had seen the look on her face, the way it had crumpled at his request and he knew then that this really was the way of things.

Neal looked sadly down at things, tears in his eyes as he felt the pain of the situation. Emma didn't deserve this, his son was innocent, he definitely didn't deserve this. But he knew life was cruel and that there were no words. He looked at his father who smiled kindly as he hobbled over.

Henry's crying echoed round them, he was struggling to breath properly, his chest hitching, tears streaming and nose running. He was sat head bowed, there would be a moment where he stopped shaking for a moment, his ragged breathing calmed and then he would pull in a lungful of air to start the process all over again.

Emma knew she should hold him, rock him and provide comfort, but she was rooted to the spot, holding Regina's hand and not wanting to let it go.

"Let me help the boy, Bae." Gold looked at the scene with a softness in his eyes no-one had ever seen before. And because he looked more like a father and grandfather in that moment, traces of The Dark One pushed as far back as they would go, Neal nodded and stepped back allowing the older man to place his hands on Henry's quivering shoulders.

He was gentle but swift, whispering, "Be still now." Using just enough magic to knock the boy out, and as he slumped unconscious Neal reached down and picked up his son, cradling him in his arms.

And then it was still, Neal retreating with his father and Charming to stand back with Ruby and Granny. Everyone waiting for Emma to let go. To say goodbye.

She felt her mother's soft touch on her arm. And the tears begin to fall. "Mom…" she tried but couldn't as she fought down a sob.

"I'm so sorry Emma. But she was fighting on the right side. Be proud of her." Snow tried to offer something, anything, but it was hollow comfort and she knew it. The hope speech fell flat and didn't carry the usual exuberance Snow was known for.

"I loved her Mom and I didn't tell her that last time. I never admitted it properly or said it enough. I was too scared for so long and now it's too late."

"I think she knew Emma. It isn't how often you say it, but how you behave. You defended her, believed in her. She felt your love. But you can still tell her now."

Snow wanted her daughter to be honest and truthful and to limit her regrets. If she needed to cry and talk to Regina's body she would wait patiently by her side. If Emma could have some kind of closure and begin to grieve she would stand by and support her. She after all had Charming to share her burden with, she needed Emma to know she could count on them both and she wasn't alone.

Emma leaned down and with infinite care brushed Regina's hair from her forehead. She placed a kiss there, her tears splashing onto the cooling skin. "I love you." She whispered, knowing it was too little, too late.

She turned away and sat staring at nothing. Her mind was blank, she didn't know what to do or what to say. She guessed they ought to move the body. She shuddered, referring to Regina as a body was sickening.

Snow had her hand on her daughter's shoulder, vainly trying to help. She was ignoring her own feelings, being strong for her daughter and later for her grandson when he woke up. She hoped the physical contact was helping, a small lifeline in the sea of sorrow and heartache.

Snow was closest to the brunette so she was the first one to notice something was happening. She squeezed Emma's shoulder as out of the corner of her eye she saw the faintest of movements. It was Regina's hand that spasmed and grasped a handful of the dirt.

"Emma," Snow started hesitantly, capturing the attention of her nearly comatose daughter.

True Loves Kiss, Snow thought, but didn't dare to hope. This wasn't how her True Love Kiss had been, but this was a different world and involved different people. She watched as more of Regina's body began to move and Emma's face broke into a beaming smile, her tears hastily rubbed away.

As Regina sucked a huge lungful of air and her eyelids flickered Emma's smile widened. She felt relief flood through her but it was short lived. Regina struggled to breath and Emma was immediately there to place an arm round her heaving shoulders, trying to help her sit.

As Emma supported her she felt the coldness coming from her girlfriend. It was both physical and metaphorical, the woman was distant but she was also cold to the touch, her skin lacking any kind of colour or natural glow.

Emma watched as the brunette surveyed the scene and her eyes fell on the pile of dust and bones that had once been her first love. Emma felt her shoulders slump and then her eyes travelled to the broken body of her mother. Emma felt her body stiffen and the strangled gasp that fell past her lips, lips that were still blue and features that were far too pale.

Emma knew they had cheated death, but was concerned that Regina didn't seem to her to be really alive. She thought that the revival should be almost instant, that was what had happened with Henry back in the hospital. That was how the book told it and what her parents had told her had happened with her mother after they shared True Love's kiss to break the original sleeping curse.

But this wasn't a sleeping curse, this was so much more and Emma realised that things were very different as she caught sight of Regina's eyes. Gone were the beautiful shade of brown, the light and the life. The windows to her soul no longer showed anything except darkness, both her eyes had turned a black obsidian, looking more like stone in their cold and hard appearance.

As Regina turned her head away and saw Henry laying still in Neal's arms, unconscious and with a gash to his head she made a whimpering moan and suddenly Emma was left holding nothing but air as she disappeared from beneath her. But it wasn't in her trade mark purple smoke cloud, there was no familiar scent of Regina's magic left behind. The cloud was black and Emma could practically taste the despondency that it left behind. It was bitter and lingered in the air, making her eyes sting and her throat constrict.

Snow stepped forward as Emma's strength left her, her body buckling. Her sobs were quiet, contrasting directly with the openness Henry had shown. She held onto her Mother's waist and buried her face into her clothing, falling apart as Snow caressed her hair and tried to offer up soothing words of comfort.

And as Snow cast her eyes around the clearing all she saw was shock and confusion on Neal and Charming's face. But even more concerning, on Gold's too, he had no idea what had just happened and it was with a heavy heart Snow continued to stroke her daughter's hair and tried to speak round the lump in her throat.

But there were no words, because she had seen Regina, and felt her too. And the thing that had just disappeared bore no resemblance to the woman she knew. She stood mutely by and allowed Emma to cry.


	28. The Aftermath

I hope I can earn some brownie points for not leaving you waiting too long.

Enjoy

* * *

It was early morning, too early to businesses to be open, but the Pawn shop had always opened odd hours. Gold made deals at any time of day so Emma felt sure he'd be there as he wasn't at home.

She hadn't slept much, it had been three days since the fateful battle and the town was still in pieces. Literally. Buildings were unsafe and half collapsed, there was still dust hanging heavily in the air. It was going to be a slow process to rebuild, but the dwarves were confident they could manage.

The townsfolk had been shaken but with Snow and Charming reassuring them that the danger was over and that things would be fine the nerves were beginning to settle. The wary and long suffering people were slowly coming out from their homes and onto the streets more frequently.

She hadn't seen or heard from Regina and any hope she had that things might potentially work out had been slowly ebbing away as the days merged together. She hardly slept, she kept searching, her eyes always looking for the brunette.

Her job was suffering as she became tired and unfocused, and the town needed her. She had to tape off the unsafe buildings and act as a presence to reassure people. As she felt physically stretched and emotionally battered she wasn't eating much causing Snow and Charming to keep casting worried glances at her.

They had had some awkward conversations about her relationship with Regina, but they couldn't deny the evidence before them, it was True Love. Her father had apologised for his behaviour and doubts and promised her he would try harder when they found Regina. He told Emma he would happily apologise to the brunette, they had fought together on the same side and for him she had shown her worth. He wouldn't go so far as to say they were friends, but he trusted Regina now and with his boyish smile directed at her, Emma felt relaxed.

What was more difficult was the fact that she was magical, she had been able to crush Cora's heart. Her parents were weary of her and had timidly asked about binding the magic. That the fairies knew of a way to do that and that Emma should consider it.

And how Emma wished Regina was by her side to defend her and help her explain to her parents. This wasn't her choice, and she was scared. She had magic and it was unstable within her, and she needed help and support from her parents. The vibe she received from them was of fear and that magic was always bad. She couldn't speak openly to them about it and it was another source of stress.

And after tentative conversations where Emma felt she was letting her parents down by having this magic inside her she always went out for space and fresh air.

In direct contrast to her parents who were clearly struggling with it, Henry thought it was amazing.

"You'll be able to use it to help Mom." He had told her. He was buzzing with excitement and didn't realise the pressure he was inadvertently putting on his blonde mother.

She just wanted a friend, someone to understand her. She wanted Regina, and without someone to confide in she felt so lonely. She missed her lover desperately and wasn't coping well with the situation, she was just getting by and hoping she'd wake up soon and find it was all a nightmare.

Since the battle she had been running every evening, always alert for the faintest sign of Regina. She was pushing herself, but the pounding failing to sooth her like it usually did. And with the alone time she found herself concentrating, trying to tap into her magic, but she kept coming up short. She couldn't feel the power and hum she had when crushing Cora's heart, she couldn't replicate it in a controlled way.

Now she knew her body was running on empty as her muscles protested at the short walk from the car to the shop doorway. They had no energy to burn as she hadn't eaten since early yesterday morning but she forced herself to keep going, walking with purpose down the street.

She had had enough of talking with her parents, she needed actual answers and she felt she had waited long enough. She had waited hoping Regina would come back to her naturally, and she had waited to get her emotions and temper under control, because indirectly she felt this was Gold's fault. He made the potion, Cora had been the one to deploy it, but she was gone, so there was only the Imp left to blame.

She felt that she could just about stomach being in the same room as him, she wouldn't do anything rash. So Emma stormed over to the shop, she needed to resolve this, to find out if there was a way out of this. It worried her immensely that the answer could be no, that her lover was gone forever.

The bell rang over the shop but the noise was lost to the crash of the door as it had been flung open so forcefully that it impacted with several items that had been stacked within the furthest arc of the door. Items that would never normally been in any danger had fallen and scattered over the floor as the door had hit them and reverberated back, rattling in the frame as it came to rest.

Emma looked at the mess she had just made and stood still and took a deep breath. She was barely in control, and her hand shook as she ran it through her hair. She needed to get a hold of herself, talking to Gold was always taxing with his half-truths and riddles.

Gold appeared and his eyes drifted to the pile of trinkets and oddities now littering the corner of his shop. He raised a hand and they organised themselves and were back as they had been before Emma had barged in.

He then raised an eyebrow at the blonde and waited.

"Where is she?" Emma didn't bother with niceties, they were wasted on Gold anyway.

"I do not know Sheriff."

"What do you know?" Emma knew she could spend hours asking questions that he danced away from, she had no patience for it, she wanted the truth and quickly.

"That it would have been better to let her die." He told her quietly, watching her face. He saw the anger and the shadow of grief just below it.

"How can you say that?" Emma practically screamed at him, "She has a son to raise, she was too young to die."

"That thing isn't the Mother to your son." Gold told her steadily.

"Of course it is, I brought her back with True Love." Emma was shaking her head, not understanding anything the man was telling her. How could she let anyone die, let alone Regina? It was her duty to save people, as Sheriff and as Saviour.

"That you were able to reach any part of her is impressive, I will give you that Emma. But the part that has taken root in her body is not The Queen. It is worse than she could ever have been. The contents of the vial that seeped into her, that alone should have killed her. We both know that the only reason it didn't is because she is stubborn and strong, and her love for you must have afforded her some protection."

He smiled grimly at her before continuing, "But what it did was snuff all light from her soul. It killed the person you knew and left behind abject darkness, endless sadness and depression. It will have extinguished any hope and happiness, replacing it with desolation of a magnitude no-one is meant to live with."

"You say there is no hope but there must be. There is always hope." Emma fought to keep her voice steady, to absorb everything he said and to think through the possibilities. She belatedly realised she sounded just like her parents talking about hope and that there would always be a tomorrow and another chance.

"I agree that in most circumstance there is hope, but the place where Regina is, that is hopeless. She will never be strong enough to overcome the melancholy it creates, she can't return from that place, there is no way I know to retrieve her. In short there is no way I can help you, except to end her life and stop her suffering. Believe me if I knew another way I would tell you, Bae has already asked. And Henry is my grandson, I wouldn't want him to suffer like this if there was another way."

Even in Emma's tired and fog filled brain that registered, "Bae? Neal has asked you to help?"

"Yes Sheriff, why does that surprise you? My son has always been the best part of me, he isn't a monster."

Emma rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged. "I guess I didn't think he'd care about Regina, he hasn't told me."

Gold smiled at her. "He cares Emma, about Henry and he still cares about you."

Emma head shot up from the patch of floor she had been studying and she narrowed her eyes at the older man. He looked back at her easily, but she knew she'd get nothing else from him. It was another of his truths wrapped up in clever words and she was too tired to push it. She knew her heart belonged to Regina, if Neal or Gold thought otherwise they were delusional.

She was more conflicted and torn than when she had entered the shop. All she was certain about was that she couldn't take him up on his offer to kill Regina. She ignored that part of the conversation altogether and nodded curtly to him as a goodbye.

She left the shop with slightly less banging and crashing than when she had entered, but it was with her shoulders slumped. She was so confused. There had to be a way, didn't there? Was Gold not telling her because he wanted his Baelfire to stay and he thought that would happen if Regina wasn't in the picture and he could get back with Emma? She hadn't sensed any lie from him, but he was a master of deception and she was tired. She had been known to get it wrong occasionally.

Her heart ached and she told herself it was because she couldn't tell Henry he had lost his Mother, the woman who raised him when she had been incarcerated and too young to do so.

She knew better, her heart ached because this was it, this was True Love. The kiss had only shown her and everyone else what she already suspected. She shared something special with the absent brunette, their love was destined, and this wasn't the way it was meant to end for them.

"We'll get our chance." Regina had told her. And now fate had made her into a liar, and Emma was trying to deal with her own loss and panic while being strong for her son. She felt everything spinning away from her, she had no control and she hated it. She felt it a split second before her hand glowed, the magic inside her peaked as her emotions rolled.

She was frustrated, angry and scared and the magic that had formed at her hand crackled loudly. Her heart rate picked up as she became more agitated causing the glow to increase. It was the emotion feeding the foreign feeling of magic and making it more powerful. She needed to calm down, she knew some basics about magic and she knew how closely it was linked to her state of mind and state of heart. One was breaking a little more every day, but she knew she needed to focus the other and stop this.

If she didn't get a hold of her emotions she suspected that the glow could become unstable, and she didn't know how to turn it off or discharge it safely so she stopped and took a deep breath. It helped calm her racing heart.

She stared at her hand and flexed the fingers, seeing the white cloud she had inadvertently conjured shimmer. As the feeling of fear abated to be replaced with mild concern tinged with wonder the glow stuttered and then disappeared and Emma was left looking at a perfectly normal hand.

She had had several outbursts in the last few days, all when she was alone and struggling with her emotions. Thankfully all of them had disappeared without incident but they left her feeling more drained than she had been before.

She wished Regina was here, she would help her, magic was her thing. She looked back at Gold's shop but dismissed the fleeting thought. She didn't want him helping with her magic, just the idea of it repulsed her.

She just wished she had more control, she didn't want her parents to be right about her being a danger to herself or others. If she could work out a way to release the magic when she wanted, rather than when things became too much for her, she would feel better about it.

She didn't get long to think about it as her phone started to ring in her pocket and she instinctively grabbed at it and answered,

"Sheriff Swan."

"Emma there is a report of a fire burning deep in the woods. Someone has spotted the smoke, there is no chance of loss of life and no-one is in danger. It isn't near anyone's property, but I thought you might want to check it out? Get some exercise and fresh air?"

Her father was trying valiantly bless him, to distract her and to take care of her and to keep everything normal. But it wasn't. There was a Regina shaped hole in her life, and no amount of love and parental coddling could fill it.

"Yeah, got it Dad." She spoke mechanically, and his heart nearly broke at how sad his daughter was. They had all seen Regina rise like the phoenix from the flames, she wasn't dead. David wished Emma could be hopeful, could believe that something could still come from this. It didn't help no-one knew where she was, but they were all looking.

Emma had tried the mansion and the vault and Ruby had taken to patrolling the woods, she knew them best from her prowling as the wolf. It was just the woods were massive and it was slow going. Then there were the places only Regina knew about, caverns around the mines, basements that weren't on town plans and they had no idea where she had gone to or where to start.

And Henry kept his routine the same, going to school, the comic book store, the ice cream parlour and Granny's just as he would do if his Mother was there. He was convinced she would fix herself and come find him as long as he was where she expected him to be. And Emma let him, because it was easier than crushing his dreams.

Emma didn't know what to say. That Regina was damaged was the truth she had gone with. He had been told of the kiss and that she had woken and the moment he heard his Mom wasn't dead it had filled Henry's young heart with faith.

He believed his Mom was a hero, and they always won, she would get over this and Emma didn't have the strength to kill his hope. There was an outside possibility he was right, but Emma was realistic and didn't think it was likely. If it was likely Regina would have come to her or Henry by now. And now Gold had confirmed it was a lost cause.

She felt her empty stomach roll and she closed her eyes as she felt unsteady on her feet. She really ought to eat, but she didn't have any appetite. Even bear claws and doughnuts didn't appeal to her.

She took a few deep breaths, settled herself and jogged back to her cruiser to drive out to the woods. She parked at the edge of the treeline and holstered her weapon. Since Gold had stopped a bullet with magic and Cora had been exploring inside her chest Emma felt less safe with the weapon, but it was police issue so she took it with her.

She had been walking for several minutes when she came to a clearing. It was decimated. Burnt branches littered the floor, the trees were scorched to charcoal, a fine powder of ash covering everything. And huddled in the middle, seated with her legs tucked into her body, was Regina. And Emma's heart was suddenly in her throat. It was beating too fast and she felt herself begin to slip. She was passing out, the lack of food and the lack of sleep coupled with the shock she was experiencing was too much.

She came to laying in a pile of ash and found her lover staring down at her with her newly dark, expressionless eyes. Emma poked her tongue out and wet her dry lips, her mouth felt parched and she felt dirty as the ash had coated her hair, neck, hands and clothes. She tried to sit up and the world spun a little so she eased herself slowly upright.

"Hi." The blonde tried and looked up with a smile quirking the corners of her mouth. Up close and under scrutiny the brunette was very pale and her usually beautiful and lustrous hair was dull and flat. Emma felt the cold radiating from her again but she didn't care. Regina hadn't gone anywhere, she was still in town and with that there was a sliver of hope blossoming in her heart.

There was no answer to her welcome, and the brunette's face was immobile, nothing showed, it was like she was bored.

"What happened here?" The blonde tried again.

The answer she received was scratchy, gone were the gorgeous notes and smoky tones. But the brunette did answer her, and Emma rejoiced because it meant she had been recognised and understood.

"I burnt it. I lost control. Every part of me is wrapped in darkness and it bubbled to the surface and escaped. Over the past few days I have found a small degree of control, but earlier I was overcome with the consuming desire to destroy. And once I had started, I couldn't stop. The negativity kept pouring from me like I had opened a faucet, the more it burnt the worse I felt and it became a cycle, feeding itself. It only stopped when I dropped, exhausted with nothing left."

Emma listened, ignoring the monotone and dull way the brunette was speaking. She really looked around and realised there were huge patches that were clear, large sections of the forest had been razed to the ground. Regina had obviously been losing control and burning things for a long time.

"Why did you lose control?" Emma asked, gently trying to piece together what had been happening while Regina had chosen to separate herself.

"Because I have lost everything dear to me. Our son is dead and you could never love me like this. And my magic has been twisted into this deviant darkness that I fear."

The old Regina would have screamed that, injected so much passion into her words, but this was flat and emotionless. But Emma still smiled.

"Henry's not dead. What if I bring him to see you?" Emma enjoyed giving her the news, and hoped it would please his Mother, break the shell of indifference she had wrapped round her.

"How can you, he was dead in Neal's arms." She replied, more sadness filtering in as her voice cracked. Emma only noticed because they were close, she was straining to hear every word which was uttered because they were low and barely above a whisper.

"He was unconscious and had been attacked by a vine so he was bruised and had cut his head, but he isn't dead. Regina if that is what you thought it isn't true. He is up and walking around, he is perfectly alright, except he misses you."

There was a flash of emotion on the brunette's face and her voice sounded slightly less broken as she echoed, "He's not dead?"

"He's not."

"But Mother is. Who ended her?"

"I did. I crushed her heart." Emma watched as Regina recoiled from her and turned away.

"I wasn't left with a choice Regina. Please don't hate me for it." Emma pleaded.

"It just hurts." The brunette said, still facing away. "I wish I could have made her happy just once, I only ever wanted to be a good daughter. Now it is gone, a regret I can never remedy and the sadness comes like a wave, washing over me and pulling me further down."

"What can I do?" The blonde felt the pain her lover was in, saw her shiver as the cold inched further into her.

She turned around and Emma still felt shock every time she saw the black eyes. It made the brunette look alien, "I don't know. Nothing feels right. What happened to me?"

"The vial I hid out here, your Mother found it. And she shattered the glass and the liquid seeped into you and killed you. We shared True Loves kiss and you came back to life, but like this." Emma explained.

"This isn't life. Life is vibrant, this is only a step away from death."

Emma wished she could argue, but quiet clearly the brunette was living a half-life, her body surviving while her heart and mind and the emotional side of her crumbled.

"Death might even be better." The brunette said and it sent chilled fear down Emma's spine. She refused to linger on that so she quickly asked something else.

"What do you think happened to you?" The blonde wasn't expecting Regina to know, but she hadn't anywhere else to start from, so she asked the source.

"The potion has poisoned my magic. It isn't like it was before, it is dark and suffocating. It cloys and is heavy and tears into me. Before I felt powerful using it, now all I feel is desperation. It is a hole I can't fill and the more magic I use the worst it becomes."

"Gold says you are living in a place without hope, a nether place that will tether you and suck any joy from you."

"That is how it feels. Everything is cold. There is no light."

"You said it has poisoned your magic, can we not separate you from the magic?" Emma was a novice with magic, but she thought her idea had merit. It might give them somewhere to start to find a cure. To beat this and bring Regina back to her.

"Magic inhabits every cell of my body. It is instinctive and protected me from the assault of the town all those months ago. It is ingrained and can't be separated or removed."

Emma listened, hating the flat tone but hearing the words. There was resignation that this was her fate and Emma wanted to shake the woman before her. A woman who had never accepted that previously and had always been filled with passion and fire.

"And now magic has turned against me. You being here has reminded me of the attack, the pain they inflicted. And all the things we shared, confessions about my past, Daniel, my marriage, and losing my father. All of them are awful memories, they damage me further, pulling me into the darkness. So please leave."

"But I've only just found you. I need to know more so I can help you." Emma was desperately reaching out, trying to understand.

"I am beyond help, you need to go now." No shouting, no aggressive body language or threats. Just a calm and cold request and it wasn't how Regina normally told her to leave. She should be full of fire and fight and Emma missed that woman despite the physical body being right there with her.

"What will you do?" She asked.

"Nothing. There is no future, just existence. I shall stay here counting the minutes as they turn to days, watching the grey sky darken until I fall and the ground welcomes me in death."

"You plan to stay here?" The blonde was surprised.

"It reflects me now. The destruction, the blackened, lifeless trees, the smoke in the air. The broken stumps and charred remains, that is what my life has become. Without you or Henry to lighten my heart and reminding me to be better there is no reason for anything. There is no colour, no hope."

"But I'm here." Emma told her.

"And I'm dangerous. And I feel nothing positive for you. I wish I did because in this cruel twist I remember what we had. But now it is all regret, a lost chance, because I can't be with you. Seeing you only makes me sad."

"Then for Henry?" Emma tried, ignoring the tears that sprang to her eyes and how her heart constricted in her chest.

"I can't let him see me like this, and if I lose control again, he would be defenceless to the onslaught. No, I must be alone. Forever. I can only hope my forever is short. Maybe you should just end the suffering for me. I see you have your gun with you."

And it cut Emma how casually the woman spoke about ending her life, taking away any chance they had to fix this and be together. The potion had robbed her of any good feelings, ones of love, even feeling contented. There was no enjoyment, no expectation, and no exhilaration. And Emma felt helpless as she almost always did when around Regina.

"I won't do that. I still have hope." Her voice caught in her throat as the emotions swelled and the blonde looked defiantly at the older woman.

And Emma saw the dark eyes and the tears start to fall from them, "You shouldn't have, I'm not worth it."

"You are." Emma reached out to hold her hand and brushed their fingertips together. It was like touching ice, but she kept going. She needed to convey her belief and love.

"I'm not. It is a lost cause Emma." And the brunette reached inside her chest and pulled out her own heart before passing it to the shocked blonde.

"Look at it Emma, I've never seen one like it. And I've seen black hearts, innocent hearts, strong and weak ones. But never that. Whatever has happened to me can't be cured, the effects have changed my whole body, my heart and soul are wretched."

Emma held the heart in her hand, it was blue and beat very gently. Emma hadn't held many hearts, in fact Cora's had been her first, but she knew this wasn't a normal beat. The pulsing was weak, the light it gave off faded somehow.

Regina just sighed as Emma studied the organ in her hand.

"Does it hurt?" She finally asked.

"Life hurts."

Emma ran her hand over the heart. She wished she had the answers. She just knew she wasn't prepared to give up on the woman. Regina might have given up on herself, but Emma was a Charming, Regina's own White Knight. She would fight for her until there was nothing left.

She tentatively reached out and put the heart back, telling the older woman, "I will leave as you asked. But I'm coming back. You need to know you aren't alone and you are worth it. Will you be here?"

"I have nowhere else to go." Came the flat and dejected reply.

* * *

Emma had gone home to shower, she was coated in ash and grime and at least the water had revived her a little. She didn't know how she felt, numb probably best described it. She couldn't even cry, she felt in limbo, no closer to knowing what to do.

Regina had tried to impress on her that it was hopeless, that she needed to give up and move on, but Emma couldn't do that. But it was because she was stubborn and loved her, but those traits didn't provide answers. She wasn't sure who to speak to or confide in, she still felt lost despite finding her love.

Having seen the changed heart had worried her, and she had seen the destruction that surrounded the older woman, but even then she failed to accept this was it. She was deep in thought as she walked down the sidewalk.

"Emma!" Neal's shout stopped her in her tracks and she turned to face him.

"Hi." He greeted her and they stood awkwardly looking at the sidewalk behind and to the side of each other rather than making eye contact.

"Thank you for asking your Father to help." Emma eventually managed.

"Hey, it was the least I could do."

Emma looked up and studied him. She felt him looking at her too. She knew she looked tired and drained, but at least she was clean. She managed a half smile.

"I don't understand. I lied about Henry." She whispered softly.

"Emma, I have had years to think over things and you were one of my biggest regrets. I left you in a bad situation because I was a coward and I'm sorry. I don't blame you for keeping him from me. Will you accept my apology?"

He looked at her with his eyes full of sincerity and with his amiable smile. She had seen he had changed, he had joined the battle and not run away. He was trying for Henry and had stayed to give his father a second chance. He wasn't the man he had been and Emma nodded at him to let him know things were good between them.

He continued, "I messed up letting you go. I know that, but it happened. You moved on and I can't blame you."

Emma went to open her mouth but he held up his hand to stop her.

"Let me get this out, let me apologise properly? It is long overdue." And she nodded again.

"So this is where we find ourselves. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I don't care. I think I'll always care about you. And I could see Regina made you happy, even in just those few days. You need to know I want you to be happy, you deserve that."

Emma looked shyly away, uncomfortable with the honest way he praised her and told her she was worth something. That she was better than being thrown away in jail for his mistake. That he had owned up to it and only wanted to move forward instead of keep blaming each other for their mistakes.

He finished with, "If I or my father can help, we will."

Emma looked at him, her voice was heavy as she told him, "I saw your father this morning, and he told me it is hopeless."

"He is The Dark One, he struggles with hope. Well with anything good really." Neal looked sheepishly away. "He is so used to focussing on his own needs and getting what he wants he forgets there are other people's feelings to consider and other ways to behave. Give him time to think and research, I'll ask him again."

"Thank you." Emma found herself forced into a genuine smile. Of all the people she had expected help from, Neal wouldn't have been one of them. She thought he was a thief, dishonest, a runner but she was seeing he had changed. Much like she had in the time they had been apart and it was for the better.

He shrugged his shoulders and took a step forward, "I know we had our chance and it has gone. It won't be me making you happy, but that doesn't mean I am jealous or resentful. I want to be Henry's father and I hope I can be your friend?"

He held out his hand and Emma paused a moment before she shook it smiling. "Yeah I could use a friend right about now. You promise it won't get weird?"

"Of course it will be weird!" He laughed, "We're surrounded by fairy tale characters, you're a Princess and my father is The Dark One, your lover is The Evil Queen."

He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes. She felt some of the doubt that weighed her down lift off her just by being in his company. Her heart still ached for Regina, but after finding her this morning a small part of the problem she was facing had resolved itself. Now she could get on with the task of detecting what the potion had done to her lover and with hard work, lots of reading and apparently further conversations with Rumple she might find there was a way back.

She saw the irony, Neal, the boy who hated magic and had always been realistic to the point of cynical in the outside world was trying to tell her to believe and be hopeful. Had her world not been in pieces she might even had laughed.

Instead she looked at Neal, he seemed relaxed here in Storybrooke. He had meet Henry a few times in the Diner or ice cream parlour and they had chatted, building on what they had started in New York. She felt guilt slice into her, feeling anything positive when Regina was obviously suicidal and deeply troubled felt wrong.

But she was glad they had bumped into one another and cleared the air and he had managed to lift her spirits. He was jovial and light hearted and she could admit she had missed him and his easy going nature.

She stopped short of laughing with him, he hadn't lifted her mood that much and before he thought he'd got away with it she defended Regina's honour by swatting at him and saying, "Less of the Evil, she is reformed these days."

She was tired and misjudged it, landing a hard punch on is arm when she had been trying for light reprimand. And he saw her eyes mist and her bite her lip in embarrassment and guilt so he rubbed his arm and laughed it off. But he knew she was struggling and was walking a fine line with her control.

He held up his hands in surrender and told her. "Ok, I get it, no more mentioning The Evil Queen."

"It's just Regina's still sensitive about it, she…." The blonde trailed off, her voice hitching and face scrunching as she battled with herself and the tears.

"Hey, you're a Charming, you'll find her." He tried to bring her back with humour, to settle her on a topic that wasn't her absent lover.

"Already have." She managed to croak out.

"Really? You've found her?" He queried.

"Kind of, it's complicated." She had control again, she could speak past the burning in her throat and the sting behind her eyes.

And Emma was thankful he originally came from the Enchanted Forest, he knew how completely messed up things could get with old worlds ideas, magic and larger than life characters and he just went with it.

"Do you want a drink?" He suggested.

Emma found she really did, she needed to talk to someone, someone who understood the darkness and the magic and who wouldn't judge her. She knew Neal had done bad things, had lied and cheated and hadn't been trustworthy but she gave in, needing a different point of view than her mother's, "It'll be alright Sweetie."

"It's a little early don't you think? How about a coffee?" Emma suggested and he nodded as she walked away off towards Granny's.

They ordered and Neal made small talk and for the first time in three days Emma began to feel normal. She knew she should tell Henry and her parents about Regina, but she found herself unburdening herself to her Ex instead.

"I was out on a call earlier and found Regina in the woods. She is so messed up, cold, and despondent. And I know I should tell Henry, but I don't want to give the Kid false hope."

"That's understandable." Neal told her. "Emma forgive me, but you don't look pleased. You don't look like a woman who just found her lover alive, surely you should be happy?"

"From what I saw, she is in a really bad place. Your father said there is no hope for her. He said that the compassionate thing would be to kill her. I can't do that or tell Henry that." Emma studied the table cloth and drummed her fingers against the chequered pattern, willing the tears back.

"Hey." Neal made her look up, he saw the tears in her eyes and he hated seeing her burdened like this, torn and upset. "Don't give up."

"I was so happy when I first saw her, I stupidly thought it would be alright if I could just find her and speak to her. I'm so disappointed and keep berating myself for being an idiot."

"Don't beat yourself up over that. It won't help. Em I think you need to give yourself some time to accept what happened this morning, maybe cry a little, sleep a bit?"

"Is it that obvious I'm a wreck?" She asked, sniffing heavily and barely keeping the tears from falling.

"Anyone would be, you expect too much from yourself. Ring in sick and go home to rest, I know your father has the Station covered."

"But that won't help fix this!" Emma's frustration bubbled over and Neal saw how close to collapsing she was, she was running on empty, her control slipping with every shaky breath she took.

"No it won't. But you will feel refreshed and able to think more clearly. Let me walk you home?" He offered. "That way we can continue to knock about some ideas while we walk?"

Emma glared at him, but didn't sense any lies or dishonesty. He was genuinely concerned for her and wanted to help. She stood and her legs felt weak, her head was beginning to thump and she knew she needed to rest. "Ok" she breathed out and Neal held the door open for her as they left the Diner.

Neal stayed close and they talked softly. There weren't many people out and about, but they didn't want to be overheard discussing magic and consequences, or deals with The Dark One. After Cora and her attack the town were worried about magical use more than ever.

"Her heart was just wrong." Emma said struggling to find a way to explain it. "It was cold and blue and only faintly beating."

Neal nodded. "Dad said she is filled with sorrow, that would make you cold and only slightly better than lifeless."

"But she was still there Neal, under it all. She knew me, she took her heart out for me!" Emma felt the tears come again. "And when I held it, I swear it beat just a little harder."

"Maybe it did Em, maybe your love can't be completely erased. Do you want me to ask my Dad? Despite all his arguments to the contrary he knows about love, he has used True Love magic and knows about it."

"I don't know, there isn't anyone else to ask is there?" She fisted her hand in frustration and Neal saw it but knew better than to touch her. Once upon a time he would have soothed her with his touch, pulled her into his embrace and holding her until she settled, but he knew that time was long gone.

He stood silently watching and waiting, at least he could listen to her when she was ready to speak.

"Mom and Dad," And Neal knew she was breaking in front of him, because it wasn't _Snow and Charming,_ she was regressing, her language reflecting her need to feel secure and loved.

"They want me to go to the fairies, but they aren't particularly worldly and Regina hated Blue. I'm not sure I trust her. And I know he is your Dad, but I don't really trust him either."

"He has promised to help Emma, and he doesn't break deals. I know he is creepy and has strange habits and quirks, but he also has the most knowledge."

"I feel so lost. And now I find out I have magic on top of everything else. I just wish I could use it to help her."

"Just be careful Emma, you know as well as I do that magic is dangerous. You wouldn't want to make things worse."

"How can they be any worse?" She asked him and he was glad they were at her apartment because she was losing the battle with herself. He saw her raise her arm to cuff the tears away but he stopped her.

"You need to cry Em. You need to vent, let go of some of the pressure. I know you want to be alone for that, so I'm going to go, but I'll be a phone call away if you need me. Please go lay down, try and sleep. You'll feel better for it."

He stood back as she entered the apartment and hoped she'd take his advice. He'd hate to have to involve her parents, but he would if he had to, because he knew how stubborn Emma was and that she was in a bad way.


	29. Refusing to Give Up

Hi, lots happens in this chapter, sorry if you think I have skimmed over some of it.

I hope you enjoy the read and thanks for anyone who has left comments, they are all appreciated.

* * *

She woke and felt the pillow below her was damp. It was a mixture of tears and drool, and she sat up no longer wanting it next to her skin. As she had recoiled so violently her head span and she felt dizziness wash over her. Her stomach was empty and her energy low, she knew she needed to eat. The room was dark, shadows filled the corners and as she hadn't drawn the curtains before she had collapsed on the bed she knew she had been asleep for hours, all day in fact. She was amazed no-one had rung, that her parents and Henry hadn't disturbed her.

As she thought of Henry she hoped he was ok, she was sure he was with his grandparents, but she would grab her phone and check as soon as she could. She was waking up completely and even though it was obviously evening and other people would be getting ready to sleep, she decided she needed to get up and go visiting. She needed to be productive.

She still wasn't particularly hungry, but she felt like she could stomach eating something. Much as she hated to admit it, Neal had been right, she did feel better for getting some rest. Her body was stiff but it didn't ache like it had earlier in the day. Her head wasn't banging and she was able to think with more focus.

Her eyes felt grainy from the tears so she went to the bathroom and washed her face, wiping away the drool from her chin too. The cold helped refresh her further and she stretched out the kinks from her spine as she raised her hands above her head and shimmied a bit on the spot to shake out her muscles.

She picked up the pillow on her way back through to wash the case and replace it, then made her way to the fridge to see what she had. A sandwich would do, but something hot like casserole left overs would be better. She couldn't remember what was in there, she thought it was nothing, but she had been in a daze for the last few days.

She felt her heart expand with love when she found containers of food her mother had left for her. That explained why she had been left alone, Snow had obviously come and checked on her, left the dinners and probably taken care of Henry. She rattled off a quick text in thanks and to double check Henry was safe, then she grabbed one of the meals and shoved it in the microwave.

While she waited for it to heat through she sat in contemplation, thinking what she knew and how it helped her. Helped them, she amended. She wasn't alone even if that was how she had been feeling. She had her parents, she had Neal, and if things were to be believed, she had Gold too. She hesitated to include Henry, he was young and Regina would kill her for involving him in things she deemed he was too sweet and innocent for, but he was the believer and knew about magic from his book. He refused to be excluded, even when they forbade it, so it was easier to just involve him. She knew Regina would poke holes in her argument in minutes, but Regina wasn't here so it was her decision and she was going to tell her son the truth. And let him help if he felt he could.

The microwaved dinged signalling the food was done and she grabbed a fork and settled with the container. As the first mouthful hit her empty stomach and it contracted making very unflattering rumbling and gurgling noises she realised she really was hungry. The food didn't last too long and Emma got up to grab a couple of slices of bread to mop up the left over sauce.

With her stomach sated she closed her eyes, she knew she needed to take better care of herself if she was to help Regina.

And she was going to help Regina. Even if the brunette was too depressed to realise she needed help. Emma had brought her back with True Love, that was worth fighting for. It counted for something.

She knew she should be scared by the enormity of it, and maybe she had been. Maybe that was why she had gone to pieces and fallen apart and not been thinking clearly for the last few days. But instead of scared she now felt a warmth, a glow coming from her heart. A heart filled with love for her son and for his other mother.

Things were better with her parents too and she just needed this last piece of the puzzle, she needed Regina to complete her.

As the blonde sat and reviewed the life she had now, she knew without a shadow of doubt that her love was reciprocated. She was wanted by her parents, needed by her son and valued by her lover.

She was shocked how things were playing out, she had never been particularly lucky with emotions, friendships, or love. And now, well even Neal, a man she had blamed and hated, a man she never thought she wanted to see again, he was here and had embrace her as a friend. He had gently taken care of her, guiding her when she was exhausted and she was grateful for that. It was more than she had ever expected from him.

Fate was a strange thing she mused, she had had a crappy twenty eight years, but August and Neal had both hinted that it was fated that way. She hoped the next twenty eight held the promise she felt bubbling in her. She didn't feel the anger, bitterness or resentment she often felt for her life and her abandonment. She didn't feel the fear about the title Saviour, as she kept saving the town and standing up for her beliefs, her belief in herself grew. For the first time in a long time she felt she belonged. She was where she was meant to be and she felt hope fill her.

And her magic swam in her veins, buzzing pleasantly as her mood improved. She felt it and smiled. This was another thing that she should be petrified about, her parents weren't thrilled about it, but she knew just from the feel of it the magic was pure. It had to be white magic, which couldn't be a bad thing. She would work on controlling it and developing it and in time she was certain her parents would conquer their fear of it.

She had received a reply text saying that Henry was upstairs and that her parents hoped she had slept well and felt better. She headed up to tell them personally that she was still tired, she was still missing Regina terribly but she had slept well and felt better, she felt rested and capable. She felt able to face the next few days, or weeks if that was what it came to. She wasn't quite so tearful, and she had found her stubborn streak. She was going to do this, failure wasn't an option and she definitely wasn't contemplating that they would be without the brunette and her cutting sarcasm and barbed witticisms for more than weeks.

Telling her parents and Henry she had located Regina was difficult. Henry immediately wanted to see her, and trying to explain that the brunette's magic was unstable and very damaged to her parents didn't thrill them or enamour them towards magic. In fact it just helped them see magic with more negative connotations. She struggled to continue to smile at them as she knew her magic was awakening and getting stronger and that they were indirectly voicing concerns about her as well.

She was able to somewhat placate her parents by promising to visit the convent in the morning to speak to Blue, she found it harder to tell Henry he couldn't see his brunette mother. Emma believed seeing him might help lift Regina's mood, might fight some of her melancholy, so she was advising her son on something she herself didn't believe and of course he saw straight through her reasons and half-truths.

In the end she made sure Snow and Charming were well out of earshot and told him the truth. That's his other mother's magic was haywire, the amount of power Regina had been unleashing was frightening and that she wasn't really in control. Coupled with the sadness that made her seem robotic and cold, seeing her like that would likely hurt him. It had certainly hurt her.

"But you're going to help her aren't you?" Henry asked. "You aren't giving up and just leaving her out there alone?"

"Of course I'll help her, I'm just not sure where to start."

"Trust your heart, it will guide you." Henry told her, sounding so much older than he was.

And she believed him, because her heart had been in pieces days ago but it was beginning to strengthen and beat with purpose.

* * *

Emma left the convent unimpressed. Mother Superior really was that, she was aptly named. She felt she could look down on people, that she was better than them. Emma had asked for help and been told, "The Queen deserves her fate."

When Emma had argued she was trying to reform she had been told, "That amount of Evil can't be reformed. And I hear you are associating with The Dark One too, I urge caution Saviour."

Emma didn't feel she had any choice, she would continue to "associate" with Gold because at least he was doing something. He was, in his strange and secretive way, helping. Admittedly he was responsible for a lot of this, but he did seem to recognise that and Emma knew she couldn't do any of this on her own.

As she had curtly cut the conversation short with the Blue Fairy she had been warned, "Emma your magic, now it has been discovered, will only grow in strength and power. My services are open to you, it would be an honour to help you marshal the magical discipline."

"Thanks." The blonde muttered as she left, having absolutely no intention of asking for anymore help from the sanctimonious woman. Anyway, if things worked out, she'd have Regina back to help show her how to curb her magic and channel it. That was what was going to happen, she was going to get her happy ending with Regina or die trying.

* * *

Gold heard the sound of tyres screeching on the tarmac outside and readied himself for a visitor.

"She's fading!" Emma stamped into his shop without a greeting, and he looked up at the blonde who had a fire blazing in her eyes. He had to admit, she carried herself with more purpose than when he had last seen her. She must have dealt with her recent loss, accepting the shock of it and found some stability.

"I am unsurprised." Was Gold's response. He had spoken to his son who had conveyed what the Sheriff had seen about the state of Regina and her heart.

Emma just glared at him. She had been shocked when she went to the forest earlier. She had found Regina looking worse, pale and defeated and to Emma's eye slightly translucent and blurring at the edges. She hadn't stayed long, she had driven straight back to find out what was happening and if anything could be done.

"She has been poisoned Dearie. If you don't find an antidote poison will usually be fatal. In her case it appears she will just drown in the melancholy and fade away."

"But we don't have an antidote." Emma stated and he refrained from rolling his eyes at her. He understood she was frustrated, but he was a master of magic. If she let him talk he'd be able to calm her, well, a little. He didn't expect her to warmly embrace his new idea.

"No, that is true," he said, before continuing, "however we can take her back to the place she was in before you revived her with True Loves Kiss. She would appear dead, forever asleep and waiting but it should halt the effects of the poison. And you should be able to break the curse again with another kiss when we have found a solution to this problem."

"Why is your solution always magic upon more magic?" Emma fumed at him. "Isn't there something else we can do, something I can do?"

"You can collect herbs for me." He told her.

"Great, how will that help?" She asked.

"You will be busy doing something, you won't be here bothering me and my supplies get restocked." He commented with his smug smile.

"So they aren't to help with anything to do with Regina?"

Emma tried to keep her temper under control but she had become snappy with him. She knew he was helping them and that he had no obligation to do so, but he was so easy to despise with his odd humour and sarcastic quips. Regina had been his pupil for so long it was easy to see where her sarcastic nature and barbed comments had been picked up from.

At least Regina laughed occasionally, interacted with people and could apologise if needed. Gold seemed to be missing vital pieces of the human make-up, he just wasn't well rounded and at times it grated on Emma.

"That is correct." He affirmed and she bristled.

"I meant something to help Regina!"

"I need time and this will give her that. It will stop the effects and she'll be suffering less."

"God I hope you're right." Emma muttered but he heard quite clearly.

"Of course I am. So we proceed?"

The blonde nodded, she didn't see another way. She left him to get on with what he needed to, she didn't want to be around him. She wondered how in his hundreds of years of being alive he had still failed to learn the basics of human interaction and to learn that sometimes his dark humour was inappropriate and sometimes down right offensive.

She didn't dwell on him though, she went to her son to explain the latest development and what they were going to do to mitigate this twist in the bizarre fairy tale they were building for themselves.

* * *

Gold had been surprised when his grandson walked calmly and confidently into his shop. It was a direct contrast to the boy's mother who had been in earlier.

"Good morning young man." He greeted, "Do you wish for me to send for your father?"

"No, I'm here to see you." Henry told him and Gold leaned forward, hiding his surprise and showing his interest and intrigue in the young boy.

"Well come through, do you drink tea?" He moved out of the way so Henry could go through to the backroom of the shop and he smiled when Henry pulled out a stool and made himself comfortable at the small table.

"I'd rather milk or hot chocolate if you have either of them?" He asked and the older man nodded, crossing to the fridge and making himself a cup of tea while he poured milk for his grandson.

"Are you going to put Mom under The Sleeping Curse?" He bluntly asked and Gold was pleased with his ability to get straight to business. A good family trait he had passed on.

"It is my best suggestion at this time."

"Do you have any idea what to do then?" The boy continued to probe.

"It will buy us time. I don't tend to make the best decisions when under pressure or given a deadline. Ask your Father, I made my biggest mistake and broke a deal with him when I was put under pressure."

The old man was surprised with his own honesty, but this was family and Henry probably already knew of his cowardice and inability to let go of magic. Either the storybook or Baelfire had probably told that tale. And if it was Bae who had told Henry, Gold understood that. Bae had every right to be honest with his son. He hadn't been and look where they had ended up, separated for hundreds of years and living in different realms.

He just hoped when Bae told Henry of his life since he had gone through the portal alone that he didn't blame his Papa too much and recognised that it was in the past. No matter how much he wanted to, Gold couldn't change it, he could only try and make things better now. And he was trying, the darkness wasn't happy but his human side needed to do this.

"Emma says Mom's magic is poisoned, if that is the case can't you remove her magic from her?"

Gold watched the young man, openly discussing magic and its effects, when he had been born into a land without magic. Gold wondered if it was the child in him that accepted so easily, Henry had been the one given the book and who immediately believed in the tales told on the pages. Was Henry's strong belief in magic because of his bloodline? Gold decided it didn't matter, Henry was comfortable with magic and by extension, comfortable with him, and that was what mattered.

And Gold saw merit in his idea, he wanted to commend him for his attitude and for not being afraid of magic. But he also needed to teach the boy caution and that magic always comes with a price, but Gold was certain Regina was already bearing that price. The cost to rectify this shouldn't be borne by The Queen. There had to be a way to investigate Henry's suggestion but the boy needed to understand magic wasn't limitless or necessarily the quick fit solution he seemed to think it was.

"You will be embarking down a road never travelled, you do understand?" Gold told Henry, he was all seriousness, no giggling Imp or the usual snide smile while he mocked the human desires he didn't understand and couldn't tolerate. Today he was a grandfather trying to explain the mechanics of magic to his youngest family member.

"But you've bound magic before." The young man said.

"What you suggest isn't binding magic, what you are asking we do is remove it, and magic is part of your mother's genetic build. It was passed to her from Cora and would be like you losing something you were born with, such as an arm or a leg."

"But people live without arms and legs." Henry told him.

Gold chuckled at the simple way the boy saw things. He told him, "Yes people live without limbs, but the idea isn't to maim your mother, you want her back as she was, don't you?"

"Well yeah, if you think you can do it?" He sounded so young and Rumple could see elements of his lost son. He didn't love Henry yet, because he didn't know him, but he knew in time he would, he was blood and those ties were forever.

He knew what growing up without a parent did to you, and he genuinely wanted to help. It was unfortunate that The Dark side of him often made him say or do the wrong thing, like laughing at someone's misfortune or muttering and cursing when he should be open and friendly. He was surprised Henry had come to him, but the boy had a strong heart and courage, just like his Bae.

"We will work together on bringing her back, I will do everything within my power." He stopped short of promising the boy something he couldn't deliver on. He never made deals he wasn't sure of.

"Will you tell me why?" Henry asked him, "You made it to hurt her. Why did you want to hurt her? And why are you prepared to help now?"

People rarely asked him outright, they were usually scared of him, he could always curse them or their family so they always came to him head bowed and sub-servient. The way Henry locked eyes with him and asked for the truth was refreshing. He tried to give him a brief history, one that didn't describe bloodshed and heart ripping. He glossed over the violence of village burning, back stabbing, meaningless and mindless killing, and torture.

"My history with your Mother is complicated. She became my pupil when she was very unhappy, she thought magic was the answer. And I hurt her and twisted her and it became somewhat of a game between us. She was always trying to get the better of me, never realising quite how much I was manipulating her and the events surrounding her. My sole focus was getting my curse enacted, so I could be nearer Baelfire, it was the curse that brought us all here. She cast it, but I manipulated her to do it and it didn't resolve anything like she thought it would. She quickly realised it had all been my game, never hers to win. In the Enchanted Forest she had hidden Belle from me and in her anger and resentment she kept her hidden from me here, to punish me or try and control me I don't know."

He stopped and looked at the boy, he hadn't flinched. He was listening with rapt attention, so Gold continued.

"I admit I used your mother to get me to Baelfire, I made her suffer to fulfil my wishes and I recognise I owe her for that. And Belle is safe, she was returned to me unharmed. And finally I am doing this because Baelfire asked me to. He wants to be in your life and he wants you to be happy and he knows that is most likely if your Mother is returned to you."

Henry thought about what he had been told. Rumple watched his cocked head and he could see him processing things. Henry was a clever child and being with him was bittersweet for Rumple. While he was happy to spend time with Henry he was reminded that he had lost this time with his own son. He hadn't seen him grow into the man he was now, all the opportunities Henry was going to have, kissing his first girlfriend, his first day at his first job, having a drink when he came of age were all experiences he had missed with his son and could never get back.

But he hated sentimentality, it didn't sit well with the darkness inside him so he shrugged off the emotions and waited for Henry to speak. Very soon the boy did, asking him, "So what's the plan?"

And despite his attempts to the contrary Rumple was reminded again of his son, of how curious he had been, when all he had wanted was his father to play with him or show him how things worked. A time before his father let him down.

"I think that every spell has a counter, some unforeseen element, and even though I created the poison that now runs in your mother's veins, there is probably a cure if we can just find the loop hole. Every curse can be broken, every spell reversed if you just know where to look."

"So you know where to look?" The excitement in Henry's voice was clear and Rumple shook his head, knowing he was about to disappoint the young man.

"No, I don't. Not yet."

Henry looked crestfallen, his shoulders slumped and he studied the table with his head bowed. Time passed and they sat in companionable silence, he sipped his milk and thought about what he had been told. He had been told there was a chance and knowing that his shoulders squared and he picked himself up, smiling warmly at the older man.

"I believe in you. Together we'll do this." He stood to leave with his belief in magic and the good intentions of people keeping him strong. He had proven even The Dark One had goodness in him and he smiled. He'd see his Mother alive and well again, he knew it.

* * *

Snow wasn't a fan of the Sleeping Curse idea. She had pulled Emma to one side and explained that she still had nightmares from her curse and that Regina wouldn't be asleep, she would be in a place of burning torture.

"She's already in a place of torture." Emma told her mother, who nodded sadly in agreement.

"God, why is magic so difficult!" Emma vented her frustration.

"Because magic always comes with a price." Her Mother told her. "And this time Regina is paying it."

"But it isn't fair! She doesn't deserve this." Emma told her Mother, who diplomatically kept quiet. Regina might not deserve this now, but for her past deeds, Snow wasn't so sure.

What Snow did know was that if Regina recovered then her and Charming would most definitely consider the slate wiped clean. The fallen Queen had been through hell and back in the last few weeks and they wouldn't add to her suffering if she woke up.

"At least if Regina is under the sleeping curse she won't fade away to nothing." Emma reasoned, and Snow grudgingly accepted this.

"I suppose it is the lesser of two evils. I agree with you on that." Her mother told her and Emma ran her hand through her hair and bit her lip. She was going to cause her lover this pain. At least the last time with the kiss it had been accidental, she had had no idea what she was bringing back and the depth of feeling the brunette would have to cope with.

Now she was actively going to curse the woman she loved, she was going to hurt her deliberately and words like, "for the greater good" and "needs must" just didn't cut it.

She had no choice and she just vowed to herself that this wouldn't be a longer term solution. They were going to put in double the effort to find a way to bring her back to the world of the living, to fix her heart and save her body. Regina wouldn't burn under the Sleeping Curse for too long.

* * *

Regina was practically catatonic when Emma arrived with the Sleeping draft. She was sitting unmoving and deathly silent on a rotting log in the faded sunlight of the day that now poured into the clearing. The area should have been in shade under a canopy of greens and dappled light filtering down, but Regina had destroyed the leaves, twigs, branches and trunks so that the sun was unblocked.

She nearly blended into the grey landscape, such was the deterioration. She had hardly any colour and her appearance was completely washed out. The sun passed through her body in an alarming way and Emma rushed to her side.

"Emma." The greeting was dull, "have you come to say goodbye?" The brunette asked as she held up her hand and peered through it clearly seeing the clouds dotted in the sky. Her skin was thin as paper, and she knew she was fading. At least as she lost her physical form the emotional onslaught seemed to fade too until there was just emptiness left behind.

"No, I've brought something to stop the pain. It will knock you out and you won't feel the spirit crushing sadness anymore. Please drink it for me?"

Emma grasped at her shoulders, surprised she could still hold on to the woman. She had expected her hands to pass through Regina much like it would if she was a ghost. That was what she reminded Emma of, a bodiless spirit, bound to the earth because of unfinished business. Ghosts were mostly portrayed as angry or immensely sad and Regina was the latter.

Regina was still so cold, but the blonde held firm and refused to let go. She hoped that somewhere she was connecting with the woman, somewhere deep down her lover was still there. Emma had to believe that her heart wasn't as cold and dead as it appeared.

The next words didn't help calm her, but she had become used to the regret and despondency that Regina now spoke with.

"Mother was right, love is weakness." The brunette told her, a frown on her features. "Your love for me makes you weak, it brings you here when you should be at home with Henry and enjoying your life. You could be with Neal right now." It wasn't an accusation, there was no fire behind the words. It was a sad acceptance that her love was gone, it was now in a place that was beyond her and that her lover should move on. But Emma had hardened herself to the words the brunette said, she knew her lover wasn't herself and would never have said them to her if she was.

Emma shook her head, refusing to give up that easily.

"Your Mother was most definitely not right!" Emma told her indignantly. "She was a twisted person who had never experienced love. My love for you makes me strong, not weak."

"I am dying Emma. Look at me. Believe me when I say you can't love a dead thing, there is no future in it. I spent years doing that with Daniel, pining for a future that was never going to be. Don't let that be your future."

"I don't feel that is my future and you aren't dead yet. This," and Emma indicated the sleeping draft, "will give us time to find a way to help you."

Regina looked at her and the blonde tried to smile, tried to pretend seeing a shadow form of the brunette didn't disturb her. She steeled herself by taking a deep breath and pushing the lump in her throat down. Once Regina had drunk the liquid she could cry, but until then she needed to appear confident and comfortable with this.

The older woman finally spoke, her voice quiet and barely more than a whisper, it might have been lost on the wind and was so different to the commanding tone of The Mayor.

"I will drink it, because nothing can make me feel any worse. Perhaps it will end my life and then you will be free to move on."

And with that the deed was done, Regina collapsed but didn't hit the floor as Emma swooped in to cradle her limp body. She was reminded of all those months ago when she had found Regina beaten to within an inch of her life on her porch. She had been near death then too but Emma had watched over her and brought her back from the brink once. She was certain she could do it again.

Looking down at barely there features and an unnatural paleness, blue tinged lips and eyelids the blonde knew this was worse, but she had more help this time. She allowed herself a few minutes to cry, to vent her erratic emotions before she pulled herself together. She was quickly learning if she didn't release the build-up of feelings her magic did it for her and she didn't need that right now.

She gently laid the brunette in the car and took her to the mansion, where she laid her on her soft double bed. So much had happened in this house and in this room. Emma swore on everything she had that there would be time for more. There would be birthday celebrations in the kitchen and dining room, there would be barbeques in the garden and there would be more memories made on that mattress.

Squeezing her hand in a goodbye gesture Emma closed the door and jogged downstairs. At least with Regina at home both she and Henry could visit and talk to her and she couldn't disappear again, they'd know where she was when the time came.

She hoped that time was soon, every minute Regina was under The Sleeping Curse was a minute too long so she needed to ask Rumple how he was getting on.

* * *

Rumple stood in his backroom, he had been reading, but this idea still hadn't quite come together. It was still an outline and he was struggling to make it coalesce.

It was what he had spoken to Henry about, but he knew The Sheriff would fight him on it. It wasn't an antidote to the poison, it was a further poison to kill the last traces of magic. Once the magic had gone, the poison would be nullified. Then it was up to Regina to fight for life. To want to live and overcome the void left inside her with the absence of magic. But he didn't know how to motivate her to want to live. Her son and lover should be enough, but he couldn't guarantee it and that worried him. He only dealt with certainties. And he knew the blonde wouldn't embrace something half thought out or if it put the brunette in further danger.

This was different to other spells he had made to fight magic. He usually didn't much care for the magic wielder and was unconcerned if they lived or died after administering his stripping concoction. The mixture usually contained ingredients that were harsh, lethal and often viciously attacked organs or the person's insides. If he was to make this one he would have to refine it a little so the spell only actively targeted Regina's magic and not her whole body. It was new ground for him and would require some research. He hoped the White family would understand his need to go slowly.

He was still toying with ideas, another he wondered about was whether he could suck out the poison. Agitate the infection until it detached from her magic and then rather than sucking it out he was thinking of pushing it out. Only he couldn't think of what to push it with. Possibly Emma's light magic, but the young woman was new to this and had such little control. She could fry them all by accident. He was happy to train her and wait for her to be proficient, but he doubted she could display that level of patience.

And he wasn't sure what would happen if he agitated the poison or how much agitating it would take. He could put so much stress on the Fallen Queen's body it just gave out, her heart could stop before they were successful.

Other ideas that fleetingly crossed his mind were using old magic to bring back people on the verge of death, people half alive.

Unicorn blood was one such thing, but unicorns didn't exist on this plane of existence. He knew Regina had some old world trinkets and ingredients in her vault, but he doubted she had that. It was incredibly rare and with her love of horses he doubted she would have killed a unicorn or allowed the death of one to further her potion supplies.

Phoenix tears and feathers were another, their regenerative properties aiding the natural healing process and overcoming the obstacle that death presented, but again in this world they were mythical.

He knew medicine in this world used electricity to return life to a stopped heart. He knew from what Emma had told him Regina's heart was close to stopping, but he had no idea how much electricity to use and if that would even change the heart. It might remain blue, deadly toxic and just beat harder, pumping the poison more quickly round the fallen Queen's body. Or he could use too much and accidently turn her to ash. He could ask Whale, he was the expert at that kind of work, but Gold had seen his botched attempts to regenerate life and decided asking the doctor wasn't a path he would travel.

Every suggestion carried risks, but he felt the first option was most likely to succeed and had his grandson's support. He knew if he could explain it to Baelfire then between his son and his grandson they would convince The Saviour. It might take her a few days to accept but he would go to her first thing in the morning and explain how he was progressing.

He hoped with her taking a few days to think about his suggestion and him needing just a few more days to complete his research, he thought they would be ready to attempt a revival by the end of the week. With that goal in mind he relaxed a little and decided to go home to Belle. He had been a little distant from her over the last few days and he missed her.

* * *

He had been sitting on the couch with Belle, she was watching an old black and white movie she loved and he had been holding her hand. He was relaxing and enjoying the quiet company, her head on his shoulder as he struggled to stay awake.

He felt himself beginning to drift off and shifted in his seat to wake himself up. Belle looked at him with a knowing smile gracing her lips as he sat back and wiped his tired eyes with his silk handkerchief.

"The movie is nearly over, we'll go to bed after that, I know you have been busy this week." She told him with sympathy and understanding.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly and then it hit him. He went from sleepily and calmly seated to wide awake and filled with nervous tension as he suddenly sucked in air and sat upright. It might just work. It required True Love and white magic, both of which he had available to him.

"Yes." He spoke aloud to himself, he had finally worked it all out. It had been several days and he knew he should have seen it sooner, but he felt restricted in this world and had got stuck on several wrong paths. Once he had relaxed his creativity had begun to flow properly.

Belle looked at him and he explained, "I know how to help The Queen."

"I knew you would figure it out." And she leaned up to give him a kiss on his cheek.

This idea was actually quite simple in approach and that was probably why he had missed it. He liked grand plans and many fine details when he designed his strategies.

Regina's heart was poisoned, it was killing her. But the options he would usually advocate like crushing the heart out of mercy weren't viable in these circumstances, what they needed was to flush the poison out of the heart and then allow it to pump the rest of the body clean.

With True Love Emma could take the heart. They could swap organs, Regina having Emma's healthy and normal heart, The Saviour taking the toxic one. The reaction to a foreign heart would be mitigated as they shared love, they shared traits, and their hearts were joined by the strongest of magic.

Emma's white magic would cleanse the heart, while with a regular heart Regina's body may fight the depression and sadness. If the toxin from Regina's body leaked back into Emma's heart then when the heart was returned to the blonde her natural magic should counteract it and destroy the poison. Especially as the poison was targeting Regina's blood and magic, none of which was in the blonde's body. It might take several attempts to flush this out of the brunette, but he smiled as he realised this was the solution.

And it was probably the safest one. Emma would feel unwell, the damaged heart would bring a whole host of negative emotions and also poison her, but it would be mild in comparison to what The Queen was going through.

The Saviour would probably feel effects similar to food poisoning, not at all nice, but it wasn't likely to end up killing either of them. Again, the blonde would be the hero she was born to be, only this time she might be a little happier about it. Helping to get her lover back and saving her own happy ending.

He smiled, knowing his son and grandson could now be proud of him.


	30. Hidden Desires

Been away from writing a few weeks - am sorry, no spare time with my demanding job. Shame this doesn't pay the bills!

Just a short one, but we are getting there. Comments always gratefully recieved.

* * *

Emma paced in the hospital room, she hated this place. It was bright and clean, but it smelt sanitised with pungent chemicals that stuck at the back of her throat hanging in the air. Some people felt reassured, the doctors moving around with purpose and confidence and the place was sterile and clean, but Emma just felt sick being there.

It was all the hard edges and everything gleaming and tidy. All the instruments were in their correct place, and it was the direct opposite of how she liked things. She didn't relax when she was visiting people, let alone that she was now the one being the patient.

The hospital had been her mother's doing. Gold had told her his plan and she had agreed, expecting to go to the mansion and start straight away. She didn't want to leave Regina suffering any more than she already was.

She understood she might feel horrible, having the wrong heart, let alone a poisoned one, would be difficult. But she would happily bare any short term pain and unpleasantness to make Regina healthy again.

Then her Mother found out what the plan was and had insisted they be somewhere that could react if things went badly. She meant the hospital and Emma's heart sank. She would do it, but she despised hospitals. She knew her mother was reacting from a place of concern, but Emma didn't like or trust Whale, she knew he had lead the attack all those months ago and many of the rabble had been members of his staff.

If he wanted anymore revenge he would have an ideal opportunity with Emma incapacitated and Regina under the sleeping curse. Her Mother and Gold would be there and the blonde hoped that would be enough to deter anyone from doing something foolish. Regina had been prepared to kill her own mother and in the process sacrificed herself for the town and been nothing but behaved for months, surely the revenge had to stop. It couldn't be an endless cycle, at some point the townsfolk had to move on and Emma hoped they had but she had still instructed her mother to keep her eyes and ears open. Just in case.

Emma understood it did make sense to be near medication and it would ease everyone's worries, well as much as they could be. Henry was nervous about it and David had volunteered to take him out so both of them were occupied. That left Snow hovering as Emma paced.

Regina was next door looking like death warmed up and Gold was meeting them in less than ten minutes to swap the hearts. Each minute seemed like an eternity and Emma would be a liar if she said she was comfortable. She felt her magic buzzing with her unease and she hoped it would behave. All she needed was it flaring up and attacking Gold when he was actually doing the right thing and helping.

Cora hadn't been able to remove her heart and she hoped Gold would have more luck. She wasn't convinced, and wondered what the plan would be if this failed. She could appeal to Blue's better nature, but she didn't think it existed. Emma refused to beg, she would beg if she thought it would get her anywhere, but she knew in this instance it wouldn't. She would just demean herself and look desperate and she refused to do that. She wasn't sure if she sent her mother she would have any more luck. Blue hated Regina and there was no getting round that this would be to help the brunette. From Emma's limited experience the Blue Fairy could be stubborn and would stick to her beliefs, not backing down. If Gold failed and Blue wasn't an option Emma was scared that severely limited things.

She had spent last night asleep at the mansion, asleep was a bit of a stretch, but she had laid down next to Regina and dozed between explaining the plan to the comatose woman. She enjoyed talking to her, watching her beautiful face that although faded appeared relaxed and filling her in on Henry's exclamations and observations from the last few days. She had talked and talked, telling the woman how much she missed her and needed her, how proud she was of her and how much she regretted this had happened.

Emma had cried, knowing no-one was listening or there to see, apologising over and over for hurting Regina. She cried for many reasons, but one of the main ones was fear. Emma was well aware she could be risking their fledgling relationship, she was doing what she thought was best, but Regina might awaken and blame her. They had barely begun and this could break them.

She didn't know if True Love withstood anything and everything, could it conquer blame, resentment and a brunette who struggled with openly talking? A woman who built walls and held grudges? Did True Love ever curdle into bitterness? There weren't too many examples for Emma to research and compare it to. Emma knew she would forgive Regina almost anything, she was almost certain that was reciprocated, but the longer she went without seeing the brunette's smile or hearing her beautiful voice, it created doubt in her mind. And she had never been good with doubt, the little voice in her head that refused to shut up, telling her she was worthless and constantly needling her. She needed Regina to settle her and help keep the voice quiet, to hold her close and make her feel wanted.

She heard Gold's cane tapping down the corridor and she took a deep breath. He appeared in the doorway and tried to smile warmly. It didn't quite sit on his face and Emma was glad when Neal popped his head over his father's shoulder and his crocked smile was much more comforting, helping to settle her nerves.

"Well Dearie, shall we begin?" The older man gestured to the room next door and Emma nodded, mute and grim. Neal put his hand on her shoulder as she walked passed and squeezed with a friendly amount of pressure.

Snow brought up the rear until the four of them stood by the bed Regina was laying in. There was an empty bed and Emma walked somewhat rigidly towards it, giving her mother a hug and kiss before she sunk into the firm mattress. She lay, studying the blank celling before flicking her eyes over to her lover. Regina needed her, whatever she was feeling was secondary to that. She hoped this would be the start of Regina's recovery, that soon she could look over and see colour and life on the faded features.

Gold appeared in her line of sight, "Ready?" He asked and she nodded.

He moved quickly, she barely registered it until she felt the pain as he grasped her heart. She looked and saw his arm protruding from her chest, and she closed her eyes. She knew from watching Regina removing her own heart that in moments he should have her heart in his palm, but she knew instinctively after a beat that Gold was having problems.

"Bae, hold her down." She heard and she sighed, knowing things never went smoothly for her. Her chest was on fire and she felt Neal place his hands on her shoulders as Gold pulled at the organ in her chest. She bit her lip against the pain, increasing the pressure and feeling blood spurt into her mouth as the grip on her heart became excruciating. Her eyes leaked tears but she kept them closed and focused on breathing through the pain.

She heard Gold hiss between his teeth and the pain stopped as he withdrew his hand from her chest cavity.

"Your magic is protecting your heart from my darkness. I am unable to remove it."

Emma sighed, knowing this was always a likely outcome. She felt her magic was pulling round her like a blanket after the invasion into her body by Gold. She felt the warmth from it and it was a faint buzzing noise in her ears. It spiked and the warmth radiated down her arm and she instinctively clenched her fist to keep the magic bottled up.

She opened her eyes and saw three pairs of eyes looking down at her sympathetically. Snow and Neal took a hand each and helped pull her up. Her heart seemed to shift and clench in a violent spasm in her chest at the movement and she breathed raggedly as she battled the pain and lingering hurt.

"So what do we do now?" Emma's voice was husky, heavy with emotion and barely concealed pain.

"My suggestion?" Gold asked.

The blonde nodded as Snow rubbed her back in a soothing manner. Neal still held her hand and he squeezed it, letting her know he was there and she had his support.

"You remove your own heart." The older man told her.

"I can't do that." She told him, fear suddenly gripping her. She felt the icy tendrils and a sick feeling settle in her stomach.

"Not yet, no. But I can instruct you." Gold told her firmly, looking at her with confidence. "Unclench your fist." He instructed and she shook her head. She was saddened that this hadn't worked, she was scared and felt the expectation to save Regina that now resting on her shoulders. Her emotions were jumping, they were becoming unstable and Gold only seemed to want to push her. She knew what that meant, her magic wouldn't behave.

"Emma," Neal began, "Have faith in your ability. You are a good person, don't doubt yourself."

The blonde wanted to laugh, part of her limited self-confidence stemmed from Neal and his treatment of her over a decade ago, and now he was trying to offer reassurances. It was ironic and twisted but she knew he meant well and was only trying to help. She bit back the sarcastic quip and nodded her thanks at him. She unballed her fist and allowed the sensation to flow down her arm, making her hand glow.

Her mother gasped and took a step back and Emma felt her heart crumble at the fear her mother was displaying. She couldn't help this, she hadn't asked for this. She wanted to reach out but Gold stepped forward and ran his hand over hers, feeling the magic and sensing the power and intent behind it.

Emma watched his features, ones that often hid his true purpose. However feeling her magic he smiled broadly. "Very good Saviour." He commented, "Now switch it off."

"I don't know how to." Emma admitted, her feelings were jumbled and as she felt the cutting disappointment at her mother's reaction the glow grew, crackling with a violence that had Gold's eyes widening.

"You are letting the emotion control you, the negativity is feeding the magic. Focus on something positive, your son for example." Gold told her.

As Emma tried to ignore how her mother made her feel and instead thought of her son and his excitement about her magic, her magic stopped sparking, the glow intensified but it felt more stable to her and Gold nodded at her.

"When magic is agitated and angry it is likely to discharge and cause harm. With white magic like yours, if it is created from love and happiness it becomes easier to control. You should now be able to dissipate it without any ill effects."

Emma focused on the warmth in her arm and thought about cooling it down and the glow stopped.

"You show promise, Saviour." Gold told her. "It will be several weeks before you have the degree of control needed to learn about removing hearts, but we can start later today if you feel up to it?"

"Weeks?" Emma asked, her face had fallen. She even thought about going back to the convent and asking Blue rather than making Regina suffer for weeks.

"It could be longer." Gold told her, "But from the limited display I have seen here I believe you have the ability to do it. With patience and proper instruction you will get the outcome you desire."

They shared a pointed look and Emma nodded at him confirming the plan, "Later then. At your shop?"

Snow had remained quiet throughout the exchange, but there was an edge to her voice that reminded everyone in the room she was a Princess when she spoke, "I wish to have a moment alone with my daughter."

It was clear she expected them to comply so Gold nodded to Emma as a confirmation of their meeting and then father and son left the two women to speak privately. Snow tried to pierce Emma with her gaze, but the blonde was still upset, she avoided eye contact and studied her hand laying on the bed sheet. She felt the sting of disappointment from her Mother's rejection of the magical display earlier. The blonde crossed her arms defensively and waited for the brunette to speak.

Snow tried to soften her voice and use a more soothing tone. And Emma knew she was trying to mother her, to be a responsible parent and her comments were coming from a place of concern. However Emma was no longer a child or even a struggling teenager who needed her parents input or advice. Those days were long gone, so it just felt awkward as she sat on the uncomfortable bed and listened with a petulant pout on her lips.

"Emma, your father and I have concerns. About your magic and about Gold teaching you."

"It isn't like I have a choice!" Emma told her. "Regina needs help and he is the only one qualified and prepared to give it."

"The Fairies..." Snow began and her daughter shot her down.

"They won't help. Blue made that abundantly clear."

"They won't help Regina, but maybe they can help you with your magic, help you to find a better way."

The room was becoming charged, both women emotional. Emma had become stubborn and defensive, Snow frustrated.

"Why are you so scared of this?" Emma searched her Mother's face, "I didn't ask for this, I was born this way. I can't help it, but now I know I have magic I am trying my best to deal with it. I'm scared too Mom." She knew Snow would soften at that, and maybe it was a low blow, but Emma needed her parents to support her over this. She needed their understanding and reassurance.

"I watched Regina fall under magic's lure. She was good and brave when she was a young girl and it twisted her into The Evil Queen. Your Father and I have seen magic used to manipulate and hurt people and we don't want to lose you to it."

"So you don't trust me?" Emma wanted to clench her fists and shout but instead she chose diplomacy and folded her hands in her lap and sat up straight, her voice rising a little but not increasing drastically. "I have white magic, Gold said as much, it isn't the same as Regina's. It isn't dark and even if it was, why do you assume I would give into it and use it with malevolent intent?"

"We trust you, it is the magic we don't trust." Snow defended, sensing she was losing her daughter. She had only wanted to warn Emma that Gold was shifty, that he never did things like this for nothing. There was always a price and she had seen his eyes light up when touching Emma's magic. He had that gleeful look that occasionally overtook his face when something particularly pleased him. He had quickly shelved the look but Snow had seen it, and she had known him a lot longer than Emma. She knew he had seen something he liked, maybe even wanted and it had made her body shiver despite the room being perfectly warm.

"I can't do this on my own." Emma said. "Regina needs this and I will befriend whoever offers to help her. I will do what needs to be done. If it were David you'd do whatever it would take. Make whatever deals were required and damn the consequences. You sacrifice for the ones you love, surely you understand that?"

Another low blow, because Snow had suffered and sacrificed. She had loved her parents, she loved David and she loved Emma, and none of it had been easy. She had buried both her parents too early and had to overcome many obstacles to be with David and Emma again. She understood the give and take of life, but she also knew Emma was upset. She was upset that her parents didn't embrace her magical ability, but mostly she was upset because this hadn't worked for Regina. The disappointment was clear on her face as she kept stealing sideways glances at the silent woman laying immobile on the other bed. So Snow took the hurtful comment and brushed it aside. It had cut into her but she ignored it for the time being.

"I understand your devotion to Regina, but this is a massive change for you, we just want you to be prepared for it. Blue has experience with White magic and could guide you better than Gold."

"You say you don't trust magic but you would trust Blue to teach me? Why do you trust her?" Emma thought the whole thing was a double standard, and tilted her head observing her mother, goading her a little and waiting for her answer.

"Blue has always been our ally, she has never used magic against us and she doesn't possess darkness. Her experience makes her best qualified in this." Snow argued.

"Not going to happen." Emma shook her head. "Unless Blue agrees to help Regina, which she won't."

"But Gold..." Snow tried.

Emma cut her off saying, "...Is better than he was. He has embraced Henry as his grandson and with his love of Belle and Neal it counters the darkness. No, I don't completely trust him, that would be foolish, but I need him. I have to hope he won't take advantage of the position I find myself in."

"Is there really no other option?" Snow asked, seeing Emma set her jaw in determination, so like her father. The older woman was still frightened, none of this conversation had eased her doubts and reservations.

"I'm going to read some of Regina's books on magic and if Blue wants to lend me some of hers I'll happily read them too. I'm planning on teaching myself as much as I can in the evenings, get in some extra studying and get a feel for it when I have time and space to relax in."

"Do you really think that will work?" Snow asked, somewhat sceptical of her daughter's academic achievements. She was a good sheriff, like her father, practical and good with action. Snow wasn't certain she had seen anything book like, unless you counted cheap gossip magazines, in Emma's possession before.

"I've taught myself to do most things in my life." Emma stated, "I'm sure this will be another example and it'll be fine."

She realised how cold and hurtful the statement was a beat after it left her lips and her Mother's face went slack.

"I didn't mean it like that." She quickly tried to placate, but Snow turned away, tears in her eyes.

Everything seemed to come crashing down on the brunette at that moment. Her daughter loved Regina, a woman who Snow had tried to love as a child but had never been able to fight through any of the walls. She hoped Emma would have more luck because Snow couldn't lose her daughter. She didn't want her hurt and broken and running away. Or ending up dead because there was always the chance Regina might regress. After all Regina had turned on her and tried to kill her, stealing her kingdom as she descended into madness.

Add in that Emma was magical, they were all related to The Dark One and even with his help the poor and broken woman lying in the room with them could still die. Snow was so conflicted about everything, she wanted Emma to be safe and happy, but she felt the danger and had deep reservations about it all. She even wondered if it might be easier if Regina were to die, then they could go back to trying to build a family just her, Charming, Emma and Henry. And Gold would have no reason to be near Emma, possibly corrupting her.

Snow hated those thoughts, but they came anyway. She would die inside if anything happened to David, so wishing that on her daughter was cruel. She knew she needed to be the person people proclaimed her to be, good, virtuous, forgiving. Resentment and bitterness was what had driven a wedge between her and Regina in the beginning and to hold on to those feelings was damaging, Snow knew that, but she struggled in those moments before she felt her daughter move.

The blonde got up from the bed and put her arms round her Mother, pulling her back into her front. "I'm sorry." She whispered into her hair, a catch in her throat as the emotions between them both swirled. And Snow felt the tears come, for them both. She would support Emma and give Regina a chance. A chance to live, they would trust Gold and his word and accept his help. Letting Regina have a chance to change and to show everyone in the town she had done so. A chance to be lover and Mother again, rather than a limp and faded version of her former glory.

"I'm sorry too." Snow breathed out, feeling Emma tremble against her. Her daughter, who was worried sick and didn't need the extra stress of her parents questioning her judgement. They all needed to be strong and united and Snow vowed that they would be. Today had been a hiccup, but she knew the right thing to do, deep down in her heart.

After a few moments Snow wriggled out of her daughter's tight embrace and walked over to the other bed. She picked up a cool and lifeless hand, one that once upon a time would have pulled her heart from her chest and crushed it, and held it between her own.

"Finding each other is what we do in this family, and where ever you have escaped off to, we're going to find you too. Because you are part of our family now, whether you like it or not."

"Probably not." Emma managed to joke from behind her and Snow turned so they shared a lop-sided smile. It cut the tension in the room and Emma knew her Mother was trying to build a bridge. She would be gracious enough to recognise it and work on keeping her parents informed about her magical training so they worried less.

* * *

Gold was humming as he walked round his shop, his fingers idly brushing some of his trinkets.

Neal stood in the doorway watching his father and felt a shiver go up his spine. His father was happy, and it shouldn't disturb the younger man, but it did. Neal could sense the energy and excitement and knew it had only manifested itself since he had been close to Emma. Since he had felt her magic.

Neal knew his father well enough that he didn't need to be told. Emma was powerful and that would fascinate the older man. He dreaded to think what plans were already being to form in that head, what the darkness was envisioning.

He knew he needed to step in, he had failed to protect Emma once before, but things were different now and he refused to do so again. He was a father now, he had an example to set. The curse had been broken and all the cards were on the table, he wasn't hiding anymore. And most importantly he refused to be a coward, his father might have been but that didn't mean it was hereditary.

He stepped into the shop and his father felt his presence and turned to greet him. The humming immediately ceased and both men exchanged a look. Gold saw a hardness in his son's eyes he hadn't seen since the apartment in Manhattan and Neal saw the devious grin his father often sported falter.

"Baelfire." The older man greeted him, somehow knowing this wasn't the nice and cosy chats they had sometimes indulged in late at night with a drink between them. When they sat together then it was relaxed and he called his son "Bae", but the Pawn Shop owner sensed something was off this time. His son had sought him out because he had something specific to say.

Neal looked at him, hard. Gold stood his ground, no-one intimidated him, not even family.

And then his son sighed and smiled awkwardly. He dived right in, speaking directly. "You liked the feel of Emma's magic."

"I did." Ever present with his word games, never going too much away.

"How much?" His son asked, watching his father's face intently.

"She is powerful." Gold hedged.

Neal rolled his eyes, he should have known his father hadn't changed that much despite it being decades, millennia even. He was still a wordsmith and never gave a straight answer.

"And I remember how far you went for power." Neal openly told the older man. "I know how you chased it, allowed it to consume you. Please tell me you've changed."

Gold stopped and studied his son. The man he had crossed realms to be with, the boy he had never forgotten or forgiven himself for abandoning. A man who was now pleading with him, but for what purpose the older man was at a loss.

"I don't understand." He scratched absently at his stubble and looked piercingly at his son. What was Baelfire asking of him? But because it was his son he didn't laugh, or dance, or mock, which were his usual stalling tactics. He wanted to be honest with his son, he wanted to be allowed his second chance. He wanted honesty, love and respect and all the things that had disappeared down a magical portal when he let go of his son's hand.

He recognised the weight sitting on his son's shoulders and the weight of the conversation. But he also recognised he needed to be a father and not Rumpelstiltskin for this. It was clear on his son's pained face and in his guarded eyes.

"I need you to tell me you won't destroy Emma for her magic, that you don't want it for yourself."

Neal knew that his father's darkness wouldn't take well to the way he was speaking. It was almost an accusation, but the younger man had to know. His father didn't have the best track record when it came to his lust for power. True Emma's was light magic, but even that could probably be harnessed if The Dark One put his mind to it. Neal didn't want to think of that, didn't want to think his father capable, but experience had taught him to be wary and never put much stock in his Papa.

"I do want it." Gold told him and watched Neal's eyes flicker with something he thought might be disappointment. His son clenched his jaw and his eyes became stormy, his hands balled into fists at his side.

The older man continued in the very quiet air of the shop, "And I had thought about various scenarios, where it could be of use, where we could benefit from it."

"Don't." Neal gritted out from his teeth, "I don't want to hear it."

Gold sensed this was unravelling, and didn't understand, so he ploughed on, "But more importantly I wanted her."

Neal was shaking his head. "Why would you want her?" He looked incredulously at the older man.

"Not for me. Never for me Bae. For you. I see the way you sometimes look at her, the love that is still there. I could bring her back to you."

Realisation dawned on the young man then. And he is part touched and part repulsed. His father would ignore true love's kiss and quite possibly hadn't been completely honest about helping the Queen because he was trying to match make. And the problem for Neal is that his father isn't completely wrong. He does still love Emma and probably had been looking longingly at her from time to time, wondering what he threw away. And his father, who was always so self-absorbed as Rumpelstiltskin and The Dark One back in the Enchanted Forest, had noticed this in his son.

It is endearing in a strange way, that his father will do anything for his son to be happy, but Neal is also shocked and saddened the older man has yet to realise that you can't manipulate your way through life and change every outcome so you profit. He and Emma both had free will and he ran away and left her and she has chosen The Queen.

Neal might not be happy about it, but he can't deny Emma is in love with Regina. He has to take the blame and live with his actions, and thinking back about their love doesn't hurt like it once did. Some time and distance has dimmed his love for the energetic blonde, they were younger and different people back then. They have Henry together and he has her friendship, and that will, in time, be enough.

He is stood in the still of the Pawn Shop and doesn't know what to say. His father is looking at him expectantly, hope on his features. And a small part of him wants to speak up and say, "Yes, let's do this. Tell me your plans." But he knows that is so wrong.

He breaths deeply and works with his dry mouth, forming words carefully so he isn't misunderstood. "I do still love her."

The man who was once a mischievous Imp but is now just a concerned father listens, he can see his son is struggling, he just wants to be there for his boy, to help him as best he can. He nods at the admission and then allows the silence to settle again. Waiting.

"But we had our chance. Papa, you need to understand, she has moved on."

"To The Queen, yes." Gold nods. "If The Queen were removed…" he tries to add but Neal holds up his hand and shakes his head.

"No, you'd break Emma's heart, you'd break Henry's. And" he pauses, "I think you'd break mine a little too. I'd always feel like a second choice and feel guilt gnawing at me for what I destroyed. I understand you suggested this because you care, really I do. And I'm grateful and love that you noticed my conflict and turmoil over Emma, but you can't always have a second chance."

"But you can. " Gold smiled sympathetically, "Look at you and I. With enough Magic and commitment I moved whole worlds to get to you, and now here we stand. I could do that so you had Emma. I would do that for you, My Son."

"Papa." Neal had tears in his eyes, part of frustration but also because his father was truly trying to make amends for letting him go all those years ago. He had come to Storybrooke wanting to keep his father at arm's length, had wanted to keep himself guarded so he didn't get hurt all over again. But he found it very difficult when the man was watching him with humble and honest eyes.

True, the solution that was being suggested was unpalatable to Neal, but he had to admit, it was very Enchanted Forest. Remove the suitor to woo the girl yourself. He did understand why his father saw it so clearly as a viable course of action. It was just they weren't in the Enchanted Forest. And Regina wasn't just any old suitor. She shared True Love with Emma and she was magical and to stand against their union would be wrong, no matter how much he wanted it. And he hadn't really thought he wanted it until his father started stirring up the emotions he thought he'd put to one side. Now he didn't know and found it very hard to articulate anything as his chest began to hurt and his breath catches in his throat.

His father's hand on his arm soothed him, more than he thought it could. He was finally letting go of the anger and bitterness he held towards the older man and rebuilding their relationship. He felt the power of his emotions and sorrow at the amount of time they had lost, but also hope springing strong that things might be alright. He just need to convince his father to leave Emma to her own Happy Ending, one without him.

"Help Emma save Regina." Neal swallows past the lump in his throat and tries to sound strong. He fails but his father doesn't judge him, just nods gently. Baelfire was a better man than he would ever be.

"If that is your choice Bae I will honour it." The older man says.

"Thank you." Neal breathes out quietly and goes for his charming and cocky smile. He doesn't quite hit it and the older man knows this, but there is something sweet in the moment between them. Something more than the thrill the older man gets from scheming, something more fulfilling. Startled he realises there is a warmth filling his chest, it is parental love and pride, as strong as his heartbeat.

* * *

After the conversation with his son Gold was left alone to re-evaluated his plan. He might have been stalling and he might not have tried his hardest with removing Emma's heart. He had just wanted his son to be happy and he thought that Emma could be that for his boy. And there were much worse matches for a daughter-in-law. Her magic and power would be a great union for their family. But Baelfire had been clear, that was a closed book, a locked door. There was no going back, so for his child Gold would fight his darkness and his deviousness.

He resolved to show Emma what she needed, how to harness her power and develop her skills. He won't be insidious, working slowly and methodically to corrupt her, or to guide her to destroy her lover's life. All thoughts he had flirted with so that Emma would eventually become available again and fall into his son's strong and waiting arms.

But no, he shook his head to clear the chain of thoughts that led back to pain and suffering. He won't be manipulating the blonde or allowing The Queen to fade, despite a large portion of him wanting just that. Death and destruction, misery and melancholy was what The Dark One thrived on after all.

He knew he was out of time when he heard the bell above the door tinkle and tried to look friendly and open. He only partially succeeded, but then he really was out of his depth with social niceties. The blonde was equally out of her depth but for different reasons, the atmosphere in the shop became nervous and tense as she loitered uncertainly in the entraceway.

Gold knew he had to take the lead so taking a breath he looked up into eyes that didn't mask their fear very well.

"Good Afternoon Miss Swan, are you ready to begin?"


	31. Time to Wake Up

Two updates in a week – you guys are so lucky….!

Thanks to SukieWookie, (and the other reviewers) I was beginning to wonder myself about the validity of this story after only 18 reviews – glad you are enjoying the ride.

Nearly done now so won't be too many more updates, hope you like this one.

* * *

As it turned out when Gold put his mind to it and with Emma being motivated and totally willing, removing her heart wasn't that difficult. It hadn't taken many weeks, just a few awkward and uncomfortable days where Emma and Gold had to share body space and openly communicate, gradually building to a point where hands had repeatedly been thrust into chest cavities.

They had started slow, first it was lots of theory and getting Emma to breathe slowly and be in complete control of her emotions before tapping into her magic. Then it was learning to feel out how the magic and her body reacted together.

Emma wasn't going to tell Gold but she might have gone home that night and practiced on her own. She may or may not have blown up a toaster as she became pleased with her growing abilities, lost focus and with her concentration wavering, broken the kitchen appliance beyond repair.

Gold didn't need to know things like that, but it had emphasised to the blonde that Regina might have been right when she used to attack the younger woman when she first came to town and they were fighting about Henry. The snippy brunette often referred to Emma as a giant child, calling her sloppy and that her concentration span was akin to a goldfish.

Emma had laughed it off, but now thought Regina might actually have had a point, thankfully the toaster could easily be replaced, but Regina's heart was in the balance and that would need complete concentration. The blonde wasn't laughing now, this was serious and that knowledge coupled with her devotion to the woman and to Henry to bring back his other mother would give Emma the focus she needed.

After several long days Emma's first real test came when Gold took her to the outskirts of town. It was a beautiful day, a slight breeze took the scorching heat out of the sun and the air was fresh with the smell of grass and greenery. There was a field with grazing animals and Emma balked. She clearly understood she was expected to test her skills on these animals. It didn't help that Emma thought this was abundantly cruel but as Gold had argued, it needed to be something alive and in case it went wrong did Emma really want to be trying it out on the gormless peasants of Storybrooke?

She curled her lip and nose up at him and he had laughed, and the blonde couldn't believe this was Henry's grandfather, or even Neal's dad. He was just so strange, but Emma had come to understand that part of that was the darkness inside him. If you spoke to him about Belle or Baelfire then he became much more passive and genuine.

She looked away from him and at the closest creature, a long haired goat. She took in the horns and momentarily worried about it getting angry and impaling her but knew the older man would react before the animal could attack them. She supposed his magic was sometimes a good thing.

The goat was completely at ease, obviously used to the farm hands that tended to the animals and the field so to find a human standing in its pasture wasn't unusual for it. Currently it was eating, its head buried in a bucket of grain and feed. Gold smiled at her and it was strange that Emma recognised it as a silent sign of encouragement. Over the last few days the blonde had learned that the strange look on his face wasn't disgust, it also wasn't a smug and self-satisfied grin. That might be what it looked like, but unless it was accompanied by a high pitched giggle, Emma had come to believe that his face just looked like that. He couldn't help it but he didn't know how to be reassuring or how to interact with regular people but he was trying.

So Gold had motioned for her to step up to the animal, telling her, "It is distracted, it will be much easier for you because the animal is relaxed and content. It hasn't tensed expecting your attack. Move quickly as I have taught you."

Emma cringed but the goat barely glanced at her approach before putting its head back down and resuming feeding. It was a glutton and she immediately felt some form of kinship to the creature. Nothing came between her and her bear claws either. She smiled tightly, thinking how Regina would have made some sarcastic and sharp quip at that, before shaking the thoughts away. She needed to concentrate.

With a hand she was willing steady the blonde quickly forced her magic to her fingertips. They tingled, glowing ever so slightly. She was now almost next to the goat which was still engrossed in its lunch. She didn't hesitate, knowing she would cause the animal less pain if she was decisive and quick. In a moment she held the beating heart in her hand and she stared down at it in awe. She was amazed how easy it had actually been. Turns out Gold knew what he was talking about and wasn't the worst teacher. She had a feeling if she told him that then she would see the smug version of the Imp that had been put to the side for the last few days.

The goat just stood paralysed, it hadn't keeled over or made some harsh wheezing noises or taken its last shuddering breaths before collapsing dead at her feet. It was like a furry statue, one she realised she could, if she chose to, control.

"In the Enchanted Forest my next command would usually have been to instruct my student to crush the heart." Gold told her.

Emma eyed him suspiciously, she didn't want to crush the heart and kill the animal. It's only fault seemed to be stupidity for letting Emma get so close to it, she didn't understand the desire to end life. She had no God complex and didn't think having that control made you powerful.

"As we aren't in the Enchanted Forest" the man continued to tell her, "You can continue your training and try and replace the heart. It is exactly the same and removing it, only reverse the process."

Emma complied, feeling the warmth leaving her fingers as she released the organ back into the chest of the animal. The animal snorted a few times but seemed no less worse for wear for the experience the blonde had put it through.

Gold patted her on the arm, his stilted and odd way of congratulations she assumed.

"You will need to practise that, repeatedly." The older man nodded at her and cast his eyes around the penned in field where there was a captive group of test subjects. Emma let out a shuddering breath she hadn't realised she had been holding and slowly nodded. She might not want to, but she would practice and she was glad the goat seemed fine. It had looked at her balefully for a few seconds before Gold kicked the bucket of grain and it seemed to remember it had been rudely interrupted and stuck its snout back into the food.

"Well Dearie, I shall leave you to your studies. Once you have refined the technic our next step will be upgrading to people. I have a list of citizens that owe me favours, I would grudgingly be prepared to call them in for you to have live subjects to practise on."

Emma suddenly felt cold all over, she shivered despite the bright sunshine and licked dry lips. Gold seemed to miss her reaction and had turned away from her, walking back towards the gravel path that would lead him back to town.

She stood completely still for a minute, her thoughts disconnected until she snapped herself out of it. She had brushed back her long golden hair with hands that had shaken and she had fought down the urge to be sick. It made perfect sense of course, but REAL people? She became acutely aware how important it would be to get it right with the animals today, because a dead donkey, pig or goat at her own hands she could probably just about stomach. A dead person, a lifeless body that had once been a citizen of Storybrooke, a person that she probably knew, crumpled at her feet from her botched attempts at heart removal? That didn't bare thinking about.

Somehow it never came to that and much later Emma realised the strange little man might have been joking, it was just so difficult to tell with him.

Either way she had spent hours in the field pulling out hearts, wanting to be perfect at it. She had kept her head down and focused, focused, focused until the sun had begun to set and none of the animals trusted her anymore. Not even a bucket full of food would entice some of the creatures to come near her, so she had left the grassy expanse, her arm and fingers sore from the repetitive motions she had put them through but a smile gracing her lips.

It had been a long time since she had felt positive about her magic and her ability, she still worried and her parents weren't much help in that regard. She updated them and they tried to smile but Emma saw through the fake words with her lie detector. But today she felt a sense of achievement.

Cliche as it sounded, she could now see the light at the end of the tunnel. She saw that this might help Regina and she felt her heart flutter at the thought. Chocolate eyes that might soon be staring back at her with love and ok, not the most important thing, but desire too. Emma really was missing her, her laughter, the banter and teasing they had slipped into, the comfortable conversations. She wanted to have the honest admissions they had begun to share, her hand to hold as they walked down the street together, but also the passionate kisses and talented touches. She wanted her lover back, it was that simple. And it was now seeming more and more likely.

She looked up and saw the natural beauty as the light left the sky, the orange and pinks turning to purples and deep blues, the clouds whispy and light and she sighed. It was getting cooler and she jogged lightly up the path towards town. She had to admit today hadn't been absolutely horrendous, she actually felt confident about her ability to remove a heart and the field was somewhere she had never been before. She had liked the calm, the wildlife was abundant as butterflies had drifted passed her face and a huge array of squirrels and different species of birds had inhabited the trees and played in the long grass by the woodland.

She stopped jogging and turned around to survey the scene behind her. Crickets chirped in the grass and the breeze had picked up but it still wasn't cold. She breathed deeply and enjoyed the fresh air filling her lungs, hoping desperately she would be able to take Regina there for a picnic. She lost herself for a moment as she envisioned her plan. She spotted an ideal place where they'd lay the blanket and what food she could prepare that The Queen might dare to eat with her fingers or a plastic fork. Then maybe they'd lay down snuggled together and could watch the sunset together because this place was stunning, and there was no-one else she would want to share it with.

* * *

Snow hovered outside the bathroom door that Emma had pushed shut, not that it helped much. The brunette could still hear the whimpers and noise of her daughter being sick.

"Emma, Sweetie?" She tried. "Do you want me to come in?" She ventured.

"No thanks." It was raspy, but honestly, Emma was humiliated enough, she didn't need her mother in the room with her as she lost the battle with her stomach. Again and again.

Snow wanted to take her daughter in her arms, sooth her, rub her back. Hold her hair out of the way and tell her reassuring things, but she was stuck behind a door and had to respect her daughter's wishes.

She had sent the Imp away though, once it became clear the heart swap and magical component to this was over. She had seen Emma's skin flush as the poison attacked her viciously and her temperature had risen. She knew enough first aid and seen enough people poisoned to know that she was probably better placed than Rumpelstiltskin to deal with this. Having him giggle, sigh theatrically or make twisted comments while lurking about in the back of the room wasn't going to help or relax anyone.

And he had bowed and agreed, telling the White Princess that he would be available if she changed her mind or Emma needed his help swapping the hearts back over.

So now it was just a case of dealing with the poison running through Emma's veins. Snow had grabbed a bowl and filled it with cold water and then got a cloth and submerged it in the cool water before rubbing it over the fevered skin of Emma's face and neck.

And Emma had smiled gratefully at her mother but it had been short lived as after only a few minutes the colour had quickly drained from the blonde's face and she had bolted for the bathroom. And that was how they found themselves, Snow pacing on one side of the door while Emma valiantly tried and failed to stay on her feet while heaving into the toilet.

It had been nearly half an hour since she entered the bathroom. She felt exhausted, since she had taken the poisoned heart she felt like she had been hit by a freight train. She ached, but her head was the worst of it, her skin felt like it was on fire and she was shaking so badly but she had no control over it. Giving in to her desperate body she had sunk down to the tiled floor and felt silent tears fall down her face. She sniffed a bit but hardly found the strength to lift her arm to wipe either her nose or her eyes. Instead she crawled back to the toilet and rested her head on the rim of the seat.

Emma had been pregnant, she remembered the morning sickness, the straining until there was nothing left in her belly and then still trying to vomit more. She had hated it, but in comparison to having Regina's poisoned heart polluting her body the morning sickness now seemed like child's play.

She hugged the toilet bowl and tried to breathe while more spasms of pain radiated from her chest and her stomach flipped violently. The muscles in her back and shoulders were pulled from the aggressive vomiting and her body felt broken, stabbing painfully as she tried to find a comfortable way to rest and still have the toilet nearby. Her stomach rolled again, dangerously threatening to spill any bile she might have made in the last few minutes since she had heaved.

At least on the bed in the other room Regina was fairing much better. Snow had told her in a muffled conversation through the bathroom door that The Queen's skin had colour to it and even in her pain filled haze Emma knew this was working.

It was slow going, but long overdue in her opinion. They had both waited so long for their chance, both suffered time and again. Emma hoped this was the last hurdle, because Regina deserved some luck and something to go her way, and if she was honest, Emma felt that she herself deserved it too.

She didn't want to be greedy, she had her son and her parents, but Regina would be the final piece of the puzzle and Emma ached to feel complete. To have someone stand beside her, love her, protect her, understand her.

And Regina was that person, Regina made her feel things she had pushed away, fought against and hidden for so long. Regina was her lover and her life and Emma knew she was lucky to have found that and that was what she held on to as her stomach suddenly lurched and she spat more yellow acid and froth up from her aching insides.

* * *

The first time had been the worst and Emma had only been able to keep the poisoned heart in her body for a few hours. By the fourth time she had swapped their hearts over things were much easier for Emma. She had managed to get her mother to agree that she didn't need supervision and that Snow could be much more usefully employed elsewhere.

The poison was vastly reduced and she had a burning behind her eyes that was trying to become a headache, but none of the vomiting or fever. She felt almost normal, and once she realised she wasn't in any real pain, she focused on how the heart felt inside of her.

It was warm, beating strongly, and with each breath Emma took she swore she could feel the love filling her up. Regina's feelings, so strong as the white magic drew the good memories from inside the heart.

If Emma closed her eyes as she was now, laying on the other bed in the room she could almost see the woman's past. She felt shadows dance on her closed eyelids and her senses heighten giving her little snippets of Regina's life that she was privileged to partially see.

In one she knew Regina was riding a horse because of a vague scent of leather, meadow grass and the animal itself impressed on her as the woman's heartbeat soared at galloping fast and being free.

Another time she felt the ghost of strong arms round her and the feeling of rough material brush against her face as a young heart skipped a beat at being in a forbidden embrace.

She felt a bitter sweet pang as images of a man leaning over her and tucking her in before kissing her forehead goodnight slipped in and Emma knew it was the woman's father and that Regina missed him so very much.

Then there was the hint of bright eyes as small child grinned back at her while reaching out with a chubby hand, grasping her own fingers as she was pulled along to the latest attraction that Henry had found at the park. And Emma wished she could see that more clearly, those missing years she had never had with her son. But she knew Regina would tell her, would share photos and stories and that would have to be enough. She had Henry now and they had many years to make new memories together.

Then there were two shadows laying in a bed together, and the heartrate in her chest increased exponentially as the women were busily engaged with tasting and teasing each other. And Emma didn't just feel Regina's excitement, she felt the love and adoration mixed with the passion. With every hard hammer of the heart she felt more in tune with the brunette and Emma was certain when she awoke how devoted the brunette would be to their relationship.

Emma sighed as she laid back, feeling that Regina's heart was finally free of poison and that very soon things should be put right.

Tentatively Emma sat up, no time like the present she told herself, but felt nervous and excited and glanced over at Regina wishing she would say something. Knowing the brunette like she did it would probably be something sharp and biting to goad her into it, but Emma didn't care. She just missed her voice, her mannerisms and her imagination was only filling in so many blanks.

She reached into her chest and pulled the heart out, resting it carefully on the bedside cabinet. She studied it carefully, the darkness was still present, and Emma guessed it always would be. And that was ok by her, the darkness had forged Regina into the person she was, the one Emma loved. But there was also positives, Emma had felt them and they mixed inside the organ swirling in a beautiful dance that had the blonde mesmerised for a few moments.

Then she shook her head and reached over into Regina's chest. She had thought it was weird and creepy the first time, but now had grown used to the whole process. She was amazed she had embraced magic so quickly and easily, but then she wasn't silly. She knew this was such a small part of magic but she hoped when her lover awoke she would be able to teach her much more. Gold had tried his best but Emma had no intention of maintaining their student/teacher relationship after Regina woke up.

Swapping the hearts back she felt her own settle in her chest before she carefully placed the darker one inside the brunette's chest cavity. Regina looked so much better than she had done last week before they started this bizarre process. Her skin was still bruised and scuffed from where she had hit the ground and convulsed against it during the fight with Cora, but it wasn't grey and lifeless. She wasn't a faded version of herself, looking down on the gorgeous features of her lover Emma could believe she was just asleep and she cupped a cheek and lovingly caressed it with the pad of her thumb.

Whale had done a cursory examination of the woman when she had been brought to the hospital and confirmed there was some swelling at the back of her head, most likely bruising from where she had fallen back into the ground, connecting heavily with the solid and unyielding ground. Emma had cringed, Regina had already suffered a blow to the head before, many months ago. She knew too many impacts like that could leave permanent damage, so she just hoped for the best.

As the blonde traced the features of the still woman lying on the bed, she allowed the feelings to wash over her, she was so in love with her. True she was beautiful, but it was so much more than that. She was driven and passionate, she cared and loved so deeply. Regina was a complex package, and Emma had only scratched the surface, she wanted years to investigate the many layers and many experiences the woman had lived through. And the many more that were to come, hopefully together, strong and supporting each other.

Maybe she should wait for Henry? But Emma didn't want an audience for this. Especially if it didn't work, that would crush the young man. Hell it would destroy her, and she didn't need anyone seeing her fall apart.

So no, she was going to do this now, on her own. She bit her lip nervously as her eyes travelled over her lover, mapping every inch before she realised she was stalling.

Emma felt the nerves hit her stomach as butterflies, but she still leant over Regina's unresponsive body and kissed her tenderly and sweetly. She hesitantly pulled away, eyes scanning the brunette for any signs of life.

And slowly Emma realised it had worked, because Regina's chest was very shallowly rising and falling. Emma gently pushed her hand to the side so she could place her fingers against her neck and she felt the brunette's pulse skip below her fingertips. But she didn't wake up immediately and Emma felt panic grip at her insides, threatening to rise up her throat and come out as a defeated whimper.

If Henry had been there he would have made one of his speeches about having hope and faith. Emma knew she should be grateful, that this was a step forward, but she had honestly hoped this would be the last barrier and that right now she'd be laughing while locking eyes or even lips with a lucid and alert brunette.

She moved back to the other bed in the room and sat heavily. She felt tears threaten and instead of keeping them bottled up she let them fall. In a moment she'd ring the bell, alerting the nursing staff the patient needed attention, but right now she needed some time for herself. In a few minutes she'd have to ring Henry to tell him the condition of his other mother, she'd have to go through all the events with Snow and Charming. Hell she'd probably have to keep Gold informed too as he had been instrumental in this, but for the here and now Emma sat and cried.

She was so close she could practically taste victory, and she was disappointed. Swapping the hearts had been a huge strain on her. Learning the magic and practising something so new that required extreme focus had been draining. She had spent long hours, Gold liked an early start and she had been existing on coffee rather than a proper breakfast for the last few weeks.

And then fighting the poison, despite taking days off in-between each time she swapped and cleansed Regina's heart, the pain and physical effects on her body had been intense. She hadn't been able to eat properly for twenty four hours after the violent vomiting so became weak and lethargic. She couldn't go for a run as her body was on empty, her muscles ached terribly and she had zero sex drive so her standard two things to relax and relieve life's stresses were out.

She rubbed her face and felt the frustration and failure sitting deep down in her stomach. She was just so tired and it hit her hard. She'd be ok, she just needed to take a few breathes, blow her nose, wash her face and find that strength to hold her head up high.

She looked at Regina, who had always held herself upright, tall and proud. Emma wished she had her strength, somehow the woman just kept going and Emma was in awe of her. But knowing her as she did now, maybe Regina wasn't quite as strong as she was just stubborn. Yes, Emma thought, that sounded more like it.

The blonde felt a small smile tug at her lips, the brunette woman was completely stubborn. Time and again Emma had offered to help and been turned down, Regina thinking she knew best, forging on regardless of common sense. Emma felt some faith filter into her system. Her lover was too stubborn to give up. She had Henry to fight for and Emma had seen personally the extent she would go to for the shaggy haired boy.

Right now she was probably just being stubborn and refusing to wake up. If Regina didn't want to do something then she wouldn't, and it appeared she still wanted some more beauty sleep. Not that Emma thought she needed it, the woman was exquisite, but that was where they found themselves.

So with that thought warming her and returning some of her confidence, Emma stood and pressed the bell, alerting the Nurses' Station their patient needed something. She hoped Whale would be able to tell her more about the brunette's condition now Regina was breathing.

Still feeling tired and heavy, but at least she wasn't streaming tears she crossed the room to the bathroom and washed her face. As she came out of the room she was feeling a bit more fresh and ready to face whatever the medical team had to say.


End file.
